The BPD Bunch: Ep 2 - Unstable Relationships

Рет қаралды 6,429

Жыл бұрын

In this Episode, Xannie, Alex, Lore, Jay, Mo and Solène talk about the second of 9 symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder listed in the DSM-5: A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships
The Bunch share their experiences with the symptom to give you insights into the different ways “unstable relationships” look like for someone with BPD. They also cover the different ways they manage that symptom, to give you hope and direction for managing it yourself!
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Want to know more about this week’s cast? Check out their 1-1 interviews here:
Xannie: • Meet the BPD Bunch - X...
Alex: • Meet the BPD Bunch - Alex
Lore: • Meet the BPD Bunch - Lore
Jay: • Meet the BPD Bunch - Jay
Mo: • Meet the BPD Bunch - Mo
Solène: • Meet the BPD Bunch -So...
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Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!
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Disclaimer: Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Instead, we hope that by sharing our stories and what was helpful for us, you can gain some insight and direction into your own recovery ❤️‍🩹

Пікірлер: 36

@bpdrave Жыл бұрын

Jay fucked me up with his first point in clinging to people worse off than me, mind opening

@RoryMadigan 9 ай бұрын

“Not every emotional reaction I have is irrational.” I had to replay this part so I could write it down. I recently had an explosive reaction to something in my life (which I’m not proud of) and at the time, it felt like a major setback because in my mind, no “mentally healthy” person would have reacted with such intensity. I felt like I was all the way back at square one, in terms of my recovery. Looking back, I had to acknowledge that those circumstances would have broken just about anybody - but I had survived up until that particular catalyst and while I had a very emotionally intense reaction to that larger snowball, I’d managed to regulate my emotions well enough to not let comparatively smaller snowballs (that would have seemed enormous before my diagnosis) have the same effect. Every human being has a threshold, whether they have BPD or not, it’s simply about increasing that threshold and building your tolerance to things like rejection or betrayal over time - BUT also learning to develop healthy boundaries and principles to ensure things don’t progress to that point in the future. 🙏🏻

@user19374name Жыл бұрын

Omg I literally yelled out loud when the girl was talking about how she tells herself she doesn’t like the person and then suddenly there’s a moment you become attached… this is so me 😂 and the lashing out inward versus only occasionally outward. THANK YOU for doing this series I feel so understood

@goregeousgaming 7 ай бұрын

Yes😂, attraction denial and then "well shi* now i cant ignore that, fine ill tell you" ... "too scary ;-; not good enough".... they would be happier with someone better suited for them who is not broken" .... " okay i cave i cant hide it anymore, yes i feel it too"😂😂

@LardoiseGirl1976 Жыл бұрын

I can't count the number of people I have opened a door for and had them smile at me and say thank you. And in my head over the corse of the day will fantisize an entire life with that person, only to realize at the end of the day that I didn't even say hi to them and they have no clue who I am and likely didn't even give me a second thought after I opened and held the door open for. Never mind the actual unstable relationships I have had through out my life. I have curently burned every bridge behind me with familey and friends and have an unstable relationship at best with my wife and my therapist, don't get me wrong, Shannon is my rock, my stable place but sometimes a rock can also pull you under.

@ivorycheyennefrye9190 Жыл бұрын

The part where she reminded us it’s possible to have stable relationships really helped me tonight. Thank you for giving me hope❤

@joannekruba5324 Жыл бұрын

I hope one day to have a least one stable friendship. At present I have no friends, as I've come to the conclusion that it's better to be my own friend, as I'm not in a good place. I've pushed everyone away due to black and white thinking. I'm hopeful one day I'll find peace. It would be nice to not be a slave to my own brain 🙃

@Shellbelle02 Жыл бұрын

I used to push people away too, which always made me feel terrible. I wanted to be close to people, yet I hated being so vulnerable. I also struggled with low self esteem and feeling like I didn’t add value to any relationship or friendship. I was alone for a few years bc of it. I eventually learned to open up slowly to people and let friendships for naturally instead of clinging to people. I can say that I now have SOLID friends who are like family to me. I hope you find your inner peace. I definitely know how it feels to feel like you’re stuck in your own head.

@mariahconklin4150 Жыл бұрын

I struggle with it to Joanne you're seriously not alone. I only have one friend and it's my ex boyfriend and it's been a struggle. Sometimes i think well if I'm alone no one can hurt me but it's like this weird self loathing thing I do. I get sad to because even the homeless have friend's. So depressing to think of. It also bothers me when people say they don't have friend's but clearly do and they just say it for attention it seems. When I say I have one friend it's literally just ONE FRIEND. So frusterating. Hope you feel better.

@amberscottcmt7400 10 ай бұрын

Love to you... My BF hasn't been diagnosed yet, but everything I hear here is him to a tee... Yet I share some traits as someone with CPTSD, so I GET what emotional dysregulation is, but also learned better coping skills. But I'm also like you, without friends... And through watching my guy I have so much compassion. I can understand a lot of the pain of BPD, but my level of suffering is less. So I imagine mine turned up all the time and it makes me unable to hold boundaries with him. I seem to care more about his emotional pain than about myself. I've been taking the verbal abuse and know if improvement doesn't come I'll HAVE to leave... While at the same time, the idea kills me. I feel the agony of isolation, so I truly hope you recover and find some real friends. We humans need and deserve connection with others. Much love to you.

@BoolaBear 7 ай бұрын

I'm hoping for one stable friendship too : ) 🤞

@meaghancalkins7353 Жыл бұрын

This is the first to make me cry just listening to it.

@user-dn8hd6xn1e 4 ай бұрын

This has been so much of what has been normal for me for so long that I didn’t even realize it was a diagnosis.

@jacquelinemartin7966 5 ай бұрын

i recently stumbled across this channel and let me just say, Thank You! I am newly diagnosed with BPD and i have had a constant struggle with finding people that i can relate to as I feel SOOOOOO alone, weird, and alienated by my condition. This channel gives me peace, hope, and joy 😊 I believe i will be in a better place one day ❤

@user-cc8hq6qf2j 7 ай бұрын

I’m literally being slapped in the face with self realization! Thank you guys!!! I absolutely love this show. I used to feel so alone!!!!

@Shordanna 10 ай бұрын

22:42 "... or hating them for what they did." In my experience, with suspected (undiagnosed) BPD, my potential emotional reaction could also be triggered by what I perceive of what They (partner, friend, family, co-worker) won't, can't, or don't do for me, too.

@rebeccalupinacci1883 9 ай бұрын

I am so shocked. I was diagnosed with CPTSD but it wasn't in stone and I've been in a healing journey and in counseling for a couple years. I talked to my counseling about possible BPD. He said he thinks no because of impulsivity he feels I'm not impulsive. I worry even about what he thinks and haven't been able to share some things but I think at times I'm very impulsive. These videos seem like someone is reading my memoir. So good to hear people say things that I've tried to explain so many times

@7velvet Жыл бұрын

What an episode. 🖤

@maryam-ee1ex Жыл бұрын

wow... feeling so many emotions watching you all talk about these experiences each very personal to everyone. I was able to overcome my impulsivity with therapy but I'm still working on my other symptoms. I always relapse but im positive about seeing more improvements with time. Thank you for doing this podcast! xx

@claudiatrainumrealtor6229 23 күн бұрын

I am loving the episodes though. ❤

@sarahlexia_ Жыл бұрын

Another great episode, thank you so much!

@michellepowell920 18 күн бұрын

So I'm struggling so much with abandment ,my son who is 28 has been mostly estranged from me and it's so painful unbearable, and I never ever could identify what it was I suffered from until believe or not just in the year,it's was taboo bpd years ago not enough info or clinicians that were educated, finally there's a explanation to my behavior,but it cause damage to my children as they were growing up..I'm so grateful to this awareness and hope for the future..it's so challenging..is crying g part of the bpd,cause I sure do that alot ..it's like despair..I'm in n.j.and having a really hard time finding therapy that except my insurance ..any info would be appreciated..

@helenilindsell5684 11 ай бұрын

so helpful, thank you

@daphne1065 10 ай бұрын

THANK YOU

@thebpdbunch 10 ай бұрын

You’re welcome!!!

@jenniferhanlon5974 5 ай бұрын

I just found this channel and you guys are absolutely amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your lives like this. Do you happen to have an email address? I have a question or situation I guess that I'd like to get your thoughts on but it's long so I didn't want to do it here. But I think you guys can actually help me figure this out. And if not I got an idea for an episode for you because there's a real epidemic of people with borderline and substance abuse that are trapped once they enter the correctional system. My girlfriend is BPD and has been in and out of jail for 23 years and currently incarcerated again.

@thebpdbunch 5 ай бұрын

You can email us at xannie@thebpdbunch.com and we also have a Facebook discussion group, facebook.com/share/tpaRf5ojJTSQ9fyv/?mibextid=K35XfP

@akwhit3107 6 ай бұрын

He reprehended our dog after she peed in the house. I didn’t like the way he handled it so I left and went on a drive with the dog for almost 3 hours. In all fairness he did use excessive force when dealing with a dog so I feel like anyone with emotions would be upset by that. But I will say I handled it wrong. This video helps me understand that I need to learn how to properly manage situations like that better.

@mellowray561 Ай бұрын

Show request: Please do a show of self confidence and insecurity.

@mariahconklin4150 Жыл бұрын

I laughed so hard when the guy said that for him finding people worse off made him feel better that's why I watch the news all the time because it's mostly people killing people are committing a crime and it's also why I like true crime youtube videos. lmao! I busted up laughing when he said that. I can also relate to how the blond lady said that she would try to get an emotional reaction out of her mother. Gah my mom is so codependent and non reactive super happy and bubbilly it drives me crazy so yes the emotional abuse I get.

@F4narragansett 11 ай бұрын

My Mom was my world. She passed a year ago. Every verbally abusive word I said haunts me. Trying to forgive myself

@michellepowell920 18 күн бұрын

I can so relate ,I'm so sorry for such a loss,my mom passed years ago,while I was struggling with my identity and bpd undiagnosed...and I didn't get that closure I soo so needed with her as well...something I'm working through ,but I also very very hard on myself life sentence I gave myself ..so I need to find a experienced counselor to work through all this ..

@claudiatrainumrealtor6229 23 күн бұрын

The main speaker is sooooo loud on each of the episodes. I have to turn it down. Please for the love of GOD move your microphone further away. It's really loud. 😭😭😭😭

@thebpdbunch 22 күн бұрын

It’s just the phone microphone 😭Our first season episodes were our first go at editing, so it took a while to figure out how to equalize the noise. Our season three and four audio are much better!