The Cookie Monster KILLER: Harrison Frank Graham | Mystery & Makeup

The Cookie Monster KILLER: Harrison Frank Graham | Mystery & Makeup | Bailey Sarian

Рет қаралды 4,503,387

10 ай бұрын

Hi friends, happy Monday! Today’s story is about a real creep, Harrison Graham. After police found the remains of seven women in his apartment, he tried to blame it on his alter ego. He still claims he doesn’t remember most of his murders… let me know what you guys think in the comments.
Also, let me know who you want me to talk about next time. Hope you have a great rest of your week, make good choices and I'll be seeing you very soon
xo
Bailey Sarian
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Пікірлер: 4 800

@graiernyfreelan169 10 ай бұрын

WHOS BEEN HERE FOR OVER 2 YEARS?❤

@aprilpotter3054 10 ай бұрын

👋❤ Bailey

@danicegewiss862 10 ай бұрын

Me!🖐️

@toriebenefiel2247 10 ай бұрын

🖐

@Scorpioprincess99 10 ай бұрын

Since 2019! 🩷🩷🩷

@amysergenson482 10 ай бұрын

✋🏻

@bec7080 10 ай бұрын

Isn't it crazy how many of the people who hurt other people could have potentially been normal people if we had actual support systems in this country.

@crusher8789 10 ай бұрын

Too many systems fail too many children.

@zydrat3.anat0my 10 ай бұрын

It's disgusting how many people are failed because there is no support for them.

@daudujosie315 10 ай бұрын

was literally just thinking this

@karissavanrensburg5732 10 ай бұрын

@@zydrat3.anat0my Oi. I I Oi I. H I I. H i h i I I I

@KatieDeGo 10 ай бұрын

Even Jeffrey Dahmer said if someone would've reached out to him at some point it may have been different. For the victims first especially and also him ofc

@jb1996 9 ай бұрын

the idea of marty happily playing with the neighbourhood kids made me cry. it’s hard not to feel bad for him.

@TheDivineFemedianTarot 7 ай бұрын

I agree. Nobody cared about him as a person and just let him slip into darkness. I feel bad for the victims too. Nobody wins here

@lillianstimpson6610 6 ай бұрын

@@TheDivineFemedianTarotabsolutely nobody wins. It’s such a sad story 😢

@irieadventures4686 6 ай бұрын

Nah.

@AnarchyKurtz 2 ай бұрын

@@irieadventures4686 what do you mean

@PretendBlonde-li2ky 17 күн бұрын

@@AnarchyKurtz like it’s not hard to feel bad, they don’t care

@mackenaredlum1878 10 ай бұрын

In terms of “faking a disorder”, a friend of mine put this into perspective. If someone is faking a disorder then obviously there is something else wrong so either way, they are mentally ill and need attention and support

@danielakyriakou1 8 ай бұрын

Well said Respect for your words👌🔥

@itsumemario044 7 ай бұрын

Exactly!!

@oPeRa1923 7 ай бұрын

😊

@Fifenfurter 6 ай бұрын

I feel like it's not as cut and dry as that. There are people who have serious disorders who are trying to get help. We are already fighting tooth and nail to get people to care/believe us and to afford it. Then there are the people who lie and deceive others throughout this process. Speaking from experience, it usually comes with other nasty behaviors. These people need help too but I hope people remember that just because someone has a problem doesn't mean they have any right under the sun to be actively abusive to someone who cares. There's a difference between people who want to help themselves and people who don't and I feel like that is where one of the big lines needs to be drawn.

@desm0nd_tmb444 5 ай бұрын

@@Fifenfurter Very real. Yes the people who mimic disorders for attention need help and/or have issues, but there genuinely are people who crave attention in a way where they feel they need to appear unwell for that feeling of support and lack of accountability for their actions, and not because they are severely unwell.

@m.daniels 10 ай бұрын

✨️✨️SPOILER✨️✨️ The fact that Bailey COULD have edited out falling out of the chair, but DIDN'T. I love her sm 💜

@75JayLady 10 ай бұрын

honestly, I needed that moment.

@allyolson2991 10 ай бұрын

We love a clumsy queen 👸🏼

@solene2014 10 ай бұрын

@@75JayLady tatie bailey elle fait des recherches sur internet pour nous permettre de visionner ces vidéos de plus en plus instruites et envoûtantes a chaque fois c'est une nouvelle découverte très enrichissante en plus elle explique bien l'histoire elle transmet le savoir d'une manière commode et surtout légère 😊😊🦄

@a_jae_doe 10 ай бұрын

I love lilys little reply in the corner too😂 it’s so cute to see an editors interaction

@dustin628 10 ай бұрын

Ikr I love how she can't pronounce words it's so sweet and I hope they don't ever edit those out either

@MeganMorgan 10 ай бұрын

ONE HOUR LONG VIDEO…? This is a dream come true ✨

@ginacheselka6086 10 ай бұрын

YASSSS

@carmen.wakiliwakili3702 10 ай бұрын

Fr ❤❤

@saraschneider6781 10 ай бұрын

Most of MM&M are close to an hour as are Dark History.

@kimgordonstudio 10 ай бұрын

Seriously! Love her. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

@jenniferserena8462 10 ай бұрын

@@ginacheselka6086 I’m so happy

@kayduncan2904 10 ай бұрын

I am really really glad that the judge let him have his Cookie Monster doll- that was the one thing in this story that restored my faith in humanity a little bit

@emcohnway 10 ай бұрын

DID is developed in early childhood, and that's why DID systems usually have non-human alters or very powerful personalities because a child's mind is like "I would have an easier time if I was XYZ" Yes, you can develop alters later, or only learn that you have DID later, but the core disorder is developed in childhood.

@jamiefloyd5711 8 ай бұрын

Exactly! Not to mention Introjects. I wonder what would have happened if there had more information on DID in the 70s and 80s.

@penelopeanne79 5 ай бұрын

Also, the "observer" , in this case Marty, where the person with DID is able to see, but not control, what the other personalities are doing, which can be horrific.

@AllyAsphyxia 5 ай бұрын

Thank you all for this info! So many people don’t understand how this disorder works.

@Murdermagictricks 4 ай бұрын

Yeah and manifests in teen or early adulthood

@Togdurtha 4 ай бұрын

As a diagnosed and extensively studied DID System, I appreciate you not only making an an effort to shed light on it. But also for having your information spot on as well! So many people just be out here bullshitting as hard as they can. Which in turn causes harm both big and small. So thank you!

@melindasnyder5974 10 ай бұрын

This one was so sad on so many levels. The fact that nobody looked for the missing victims is heartbreaking, but so is Marty’s situation. Many folks in this story needed help at some point in their lives that they definitely never got 😢

@sybildisobedience9969 8 ай бұрын

It’s usually an addict who gets cut off from the family and their situation gets worse from there. I’m not a big fan of tough love because I think we exile our family members too often when we should keep those lines of communication open for them to at least check in. But I get it, it’s hard to constantly deal with them, in and out of rehabs, often stealing from their families, and watching someone you care about turn into a shell, and if you have kids do you let your kids be exposed to that? I don’t know the answer. I’m just commiserating 😢

@aneishaward7875 10 ай бұрын

I could not imagine being born and dying by someones hand and not a single soul on earth knowing or caring about my existence/disappearance. That is so heartwrenching. RIP, Robin 🕊

@quirkyquips9915 10 ай бұрын

This is my greatest fear at this point in my life...even if I just die.

@Seamonkey555 10 ай бұрын

It happens far too often. We must do better.

@kathernandez6682 9 ай бұрын

Very very sad and happens a lot I’m sure 😢

@bieberfever793ha7 9 ай бұрын

RIP to all victims. They all seemed to meet similar tragic fates.

@maeviss-6823 9 ай бұрын

Or maybe your just 2Too2 blonde, Karen🫰

@vanessamarie5956 9 ай бұрын

This is such a tragic story. Marty’s tragic life turned into him making tragedy for others. The whole situation is heartbreaking for everyone. Marty needed help and these women deserved better 💔

@ToyboxTrash 10 ай бұрын

We totally need Merch with “$90 rent?!” And a mini cartoon Bailey falling off a chair 😂😂😂

@gwendolynjordan1846 10 ай бұрын

I need this in my life.

@sheikhalfihri 10 ай бұрын

TAKE. MY. MONEY!!!!!

@ashnorton4465 10 ай бұрын

“$90 rent‽”

@DelsssChannel 10 ай бұрын

Dude I’m sooo with it!!!💀

@courtneyhernandez7268 10 ай бұрын

Yesssssssssss

@hales_bells 10 ай бұрын

I literally wanna be bailey’s bestie. The way she has full convos with herself and asks us legit questions through KZfaq as if she can hear us answer 😂

@vijayata1 10 ай бұрын

I can’t count the number of times I nay nay to her questions 😂

@lovewins7412 10 ай бұрын

😂 me too

@loopieboothy13 10 ай бұрын

Me too 😁 💜

@crisspyg.9742 10 ай бұрын

Wait, she can’t hear me?? 😢 lol I totally agree! She’s taught me so much over the last couple years!

@tmarie023 10 ай бұрын

Lol she probably can hear us❤

@ina2691 10 ай бұрын

It breaks my heart that these women went missing and no one even noticed. They deserved to be cared for and loved 🥺

@BarbieBizarree 10 ай бұрын

Yes and the fact that Marty piled them on top of each other like Legos…it’s just such a sickening thought

@dorothydodson9266 9 ай бұрын

As a person with diagnosed DID, I can tell you that it is possible to like see what your alter is doing but not be able to do anything about it. This has happened to me several times. DID is still very misunderstood.

@vykepp5709 8 ай бұрын

Sorry if this comes across as rude but when that happens is it just like spectating your alters actions from the inside? Like do you see it the same way physically but you and your alter are mentally comprehending very different things? Sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm bad with words.

@emmacaldwell6276 8 ай бұрын

@@vykepp5709there is actually a KZfaqr called dissociaDID who explains is very great detail, I think they said it was like co piloting. One alter is upfront and the other is on the side and can even talk to the alter. I’m pretty sure they can harm each-other too

@chloestarr7768 8 ай бұрын

same ❤ I paused the video just to see if anyone else was diagnosed with it. hope you are well friend

@PyroWolfofEarth 7 ай бұрын

@vykepp5709 Think of it as one person driving and the other person is the passenger. The driver is in control of the body, and the passenger can interact with the driver, but not do anything else.

@raqueystrange791 6 ай бұрын

Asking because I’m torn but I don’t think I have much of a say if I don’t know what it’s like

@teiganm5346 10 ай бұрын

That $90 a month rent got Bailey on the floor 😂😂

@littlbodybigtears 10 ай бұрын

like literally..on the floor.

@elizabethwoodruff9640 8 ай бұрын

I actually snorted 😅😂

@anniesaylor4446 10 ай бұрын

Can you do a story on Mary Ann Cotton? She poisoned 11 out of 13 of her children, all her husbands, a friend, most of her lovers, and her mother! She had a few affairs in there as well. She was prego when she was finally arrested, so after she had the baby, they executed her! I would LOVE to hear your take on her story 😊

@sanyuuri1510 9 ай бұрын

I need to know this story now

@shantayajones5988 9 ай бұрын

Yes this is interesting Bailey please cover this 🙏🏾

@ericascarberry4951 6 ай бұрын

Please

@emilie9237 10 ай бұрын

I'm sad for everyone in this story: for marty cause he's been abused as a child and forseken by society, for his mom who had the strength to turn him to the police and, of course, for every single woman killed by him and not searched by anyone 😞

@monicareed2602 10 ай бұрын

Yesssssss. All of this probably could have been avoided if evil people would not have taken advantage of and abused him horribly as a kid. All the people who did him wrong as a kid and messed him up mentally needs to be in prison as well.

@annalinneajohansson 10 ай бұрын

Well said Emilie.

@angelang222 10 ай бұрын

Absolutely agree!

@valentineowens1284 7 ай бұрын

I love true crimes where the person telling the story humanize the person while telling the story of what happened because human beings are more complex than just the thing they did

@tracysteagall8500 10 ай бұрын

This is exactly the place he should be because he takes his meds daily and he is living a positive life with no danger to people.

@ashlynnbarber5433 7 ай бұрын

But imagine if he had received that care much earlier on. That's what is tragic. Less people would be dead.

@caralove93 10 ай бұрын

Bailey’s uploads are the only thing that really make Monday somewhat tolerable

@modupebabatope-samuel9587 10 ай бұрын

I agree ❤❤

@jennahamaliuk6071 10 ай бұрын

Right? When she takes her Monday off every 3 weeks it kills me but I know she needs the break from it 😭

@ashleyhalstead1689 10 ай бұрын

I agree! Mondays are always my worst days but she makes them better!

@libbyelwick8814 10 ай бұрын

Amen ❤

@Diamonds100 10 ай бұрын

Facts💯

@BeccaLynn98 10 ай бұрын

I can’t imagine how he got all these people to willingly hang out/get freaky in his apartment that had literal 💩 everywhere… 😭

@brittanywhite334 10 ай бұрын

Addiction is cunning and will get people into unthinkable situations just to get their fix🤷🏻‍♀️

@switzer_no_switzing 10 ай бұрын

@@brittanywhite334 So true 😢

@HoneyBee-br6hi 10 ай бұрын

People have done worse to get their fix unfortunately!

@AirQuotes 10 ай бұрын

Noo I haven't gotten to this part yet, and I'm eating lunch, which seems to have been a mistake

@kirstinhinton2646 10 ай бұрын

😮 I didn’t even think about it that way 🤢

@atrilahera7268 10 ай бұрын

Ive actually read a lot on DID during nursing school and know that sometimes people with this disorder can have multiple personalities"present" at one time so it does make sense if he has some memories of the events.

@Togdurtha 4 ай бұрын

Yep! Co-Conscious: multiple alters being aware or "awake", but only 1 alter being in charge at a time. Or in less often happenings, multiples observing, while the body is on autopilot And Co-Fronting: Multiple alters being aware or "awake" at 1 time and each taking turns and/or collaborating when it comes to operating the body

@a.evelyn5498 10 ай бұрын

When Marty got his own place & he was playing with the neighborhood kids, he would only have been 17 or 18 (as you said in 1971 he was 12). He wasn’t that much older, & he had developmental issues, so he indeed would have more closely related to younger children. It’s not all ways creepy. I wish the story also ended there happily.

@ronnie9456 10 ай бұрын

Bailey is the only person that can tell a story in such an engaging way that I could literally listen to her for hours on end (and I do🤣). Really happy for how well she’s doing and how far she’s come! We love you girl, thank you for another episode! ❤️

@Cobra_al 10 ай бұрын

Exactly, she’s sooo charismatic and funny, this is really a talent

@fcisco3568 10 ай бұрын

I agreeee! I've come across other ones but Bailey is definitely...the OG!haha Love her!

@Lottaria555 10 ай бұрын

Absolutely! And she does it in a way that’s not disrespectful towards the victims :)

@Ashtonsmom 10 ай бұрын

I agree!! It's how I clean my house!

@SarahLangford-xe3lf 10 ай бұрын

Hey guys

@mogwai247 10 ай бұрын

So on the part where he said he blacked out but still had some memories of defiling the corpses- there’s this thing called co-fronting where two personalities are at the front together. Like one is in control of the body and the other is basically looking over their shoulder. So he could have had no control over what was happening with Frank but still been able to be close to the front as Marty.

@mariatheis209 10 ай бұрын

I can confirm this is true. I called it sharing the eyes. It would have been a way to traumatize Marty at the same time. Or it could be Frank is not able to keep the others at bay. I doubt the second one though, likely wanted to traumatize everyone

@socialmediamanagement1859 10 ай бұрын

Can you point me where i can find more reliable info on this subject? Thank you!

@keirasiobhan 10 ай бұрын

@@socialmediamanagement1859 there's a channel called dissociaDID with videos explaining all about DID

@gavins082 9 ай бұрын

@@keirasiobhan are they still a reliable channel to run to for information? there's quite a bit of controversy there, character-wise, i believe

@keirasiobhan 9 ай бұрын

@@gavins082 I don't watch their channel regularly so I don't really know of the controversy going on around them. From the videos I have watched they seem to be informative. They can and do only talk about their own experiences but just that helped me understand this disorder better

@claire42778 8 ай бұрын

"If someone's hurting, why don't you believe them?" danggg that hit deep

@TR3X.444 10 ай бұрын

My grandmother lived around the corner from this guy, he was friends with my great uncle and sat in their living room. At first I was a little skeptical because I never saw anything about him before but now im even more cautious in a neighborhood that I grew up in all my life. This is a wake up call be careful out here guys

@staceykucan3686 15 күн бұрын

Many who disassociate just lose time. They are not driving the bus. They are not sitting in the back of the bus seeing what’s going on. They are just sleeping through the whole trip. This is different than DID.

@elliedaniels665 10 ай бұрын

The fact that one of the things he runs away with is his Cookie Monster doll break my heart 😢❤ the man clearly had a lot of issues before, product of his environment maybe 🤔 kinda gives me an essence of Lenny from of mice and men :(

@vicxxo_ 10 ай бұрын

Yess I was thinking that too! It’s sad honestly.

@tacobell1299 10 ай бұрын

This! This story definitely reminds me of Mice and Men!

@justkiddin84 10 ай бұрын

But we must remember they both killed people.

@rachelhollobaugh962 10 ай бұрын

Dude I was definitely thinking the same thing 🥺

@gachaluna2708 10 ай бұрын

I've always said the way you're raised and what you go through does affect you permanently. Luckily most of us eventually drag ourselves up and figure it out. Sadly many can't.

@tinashort9098 10 ай бұрын

My granny was diagnosed with DID after she shot herself between the eyes. She told my Mom that she killed "her" and she wouldn't be coming back to bother anybody. She spent the next 2 years in an asylum until the bullet that couldn't be removed worked it's way through her brain and reached the part that controlled her heart and she died. Completely normal. In her mind, she had killed her evil personality.

@KPbouj 10 ай бұрын

I’m not a hugger but I want to hug you for sharing that. I hope you can find some comfort and strength to carry on from something like that.

@christenm3200 10 ай бұрын

This is so sad. I'm sorry. I hope she's found peace now.

@gachaluna2708 10 ай бұрын

That's terrible 😢

@sarachristman6014 10 ай бұрын

This is so sad! But yet, I'm not surprised by it at all... Your poor granny. I feel awful for those that deal with this.

@leetalley1963 10 ай бұрын

I'm terribly sorry to hear that. I hope more people can get help before it's too late.

@ghostofpolaris 5 ай бұрын

As a DID System, we really appreciate you for the information and solidarity and yearning to clear up old information that needed updating. It is so so reassuring!

@average_mouse 5 ай бұрын

16:04 I’d like to make a small correction/clarification: DID can only form during childhood, and the window is pretty narrow (like 6-9 years old), BUT continued trauma into adulthood can exasperate the disorder by creating more alters.

@NicoleMcGuey 10 ай бұрын

You literally falling off the chair telling us about $90/month rent had me dying laughing lol ❤

@Judahtisdale 10 ай бұрын

I cried so much after that i had to stop the video

@aprilwiggins81 10 ай бұрын

I started yelling at her

@Lovescoffeeandbooks 10 ай бұрын

Same here, she is so awesome 🤣💕

@kimmilu8057 10 ай бұрын

I'm dying😂😂😂😂😂😂

@baileycreswell 10 ай бұрын

COULD YOU IMAGINE?!? 😂

@zoeyds 10 ай бұрын

Bailey falling out of the chair has legit made my day 😅 21:34

@kittymama6317 10 ай бұрын

That was so funny!

@leslymcdevitt7230 10 ай бұрын

I was laughing out loud and had to watch it twice.😂

@Stephanie_Ella 10 ай бұрын

🤣

@kittymama6317 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for putting a timestamp so I can rewatch it lol.

@KeithBryantOfficial 9 ай бұрын

Same😂

@AllyAsphyxia 5 ай бұрын

As someone with DID, thank you so much for explaining it without the whole “media scariness” of it. It’s how we survived awful childhood trauma. It’s not as scary as movies have portrayed us. Thank you ❤❤

@Togdurtha 4 ай бұрын

As a fellow system myself, I too really appreciated her approach to describing it🙌🏻

@symbatine 4 ай бұрын

Fellow system here. We were very happy at how she explained it. It is a very difficult thing to comprehend, and she did so well! Media gives us all a bad rap, it stinks.

@laurelkramm5400 10 ай бұрын

People can say what they want about baileys videos but because of these I’m so much more aware of my surroundings and red flags in people. Shout out to you Bailey! I’ve avoided so many bad situations because of the knowledge I’ve gained from your videos!

@vijayata1 10 ай бұрын

Bailey doesn’t lie - She was literally shooketh by the 90$/month rent 😂😂😂

@katsneed7623 10 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

@rachaelhume1818 10 ай бұрын

Exactly! Shooketh off of the chair!

@nicolewalker6894 10 ай бұрын

My $2200/month could never. 😂 I would also fall off my chair if someone told me rent was that cheap, lol!

@gracealonso275 10 ай бұрын

I paid $90 a month rent in 1984-86. It was in rural Illinois

@sueplummer6669 10 ай бұрын

I'm paying the smallest rent I've ever paid. I'm 70 and living in senior housing. Rent is $212.00/month. I'm loving my life.

@CMehltretter 10 ай бұрын

I’m so glad you kept the chair thing in there. I’m giving a donation just for that!

@vicentesolis7315 9 ай бұрын

@21:28

@pittsburghsarah7008 10 ай бұрын

You falling off the chair is officially my favorite Bailey moment. I really did watch it like 10 times.

@allisondziak8214 10 ай бұрын

Bailey: they reconstructed her skull, from that they were able to make a sculpture of her head and… My mind: so a Skull-Pture.

@leafyveins4985 8 ай бұрын

Underrated comment 😂

@MommaSullens 8 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

@RoeBoats 7 ай бұрын

very very underrated comment 😭😮‍💨

@748xxjxxexx9 7 ай бұрын

😱😂😂😂😂

@saracollette-iu3ei 10 ай бұрын

I can see as a mom, whose child went into psychosis in first grade, it is like pulling teeth to try to get help. When I would bring him to the hospital when he was in psychosis, the doctors didn’t believe me, even though my son was saying that he could read his thoughts. And they just told me he’s an eccentric child. When my son was drawing pictures with a knife up against his throat, it wasn’t a big deal. It got to the point where I had to bring the social worker from his school to the hospital with me to make the doctors listen. I wasn’t bringing my son to the hospital for care because I was going to be bored for the next 12 hours. Thank goodness in the end we got the help but I feel for any parent that goes through it. It is a minefield. My advice do what I did when you can’t get in the front door kick in the back because your kid needs help and there is no shame in it!

@Catglittercrafts 10 ай бұрын

that must’ve been hard. How’s he doing now?

@saracollette-iu3ei 10 ай бұрын

@@Catglittercrafts he’s doing fantastic! He graduated from high school. He has a therapist that he speaks to on the regular and he got his dream job and he’s only 19.

@KathyMpamugo 10 ай бұрын

🫶🥰🇨🇦😘😍❤️♥️💕 much love to you

@harleykostanesky860 10 ай бұрын

much love to you momma!

@jennajune2101 10 ай бұрын

@@saracollette-iu3ei that’s amazing & wonderful to hear!

@Cove_Blue 10 ай бұрын

I genuinely feel so bad for everyone in this case.

@QueenAnarchy401 9 ай бұрын

Thank you for bringing awareness to the fact that some people really do think people with DID are faking it. I was diagnosed a few years ago, and my mom thought I was faking it for attention. You're right, Bailey. If people are hurting, why don't people believe them. Because sometimes it's the ones who caused the pain that don't bother trying to understand.

@brittb4195 8 ай бұрын

I’d LOVE to see Bailey’s search history lol!!!

@lisan1819 10 ай бұрын

I think this is one of the most heart breaking stories. It gave me chills.

@hallievanoutryve3109 10 ай бұрын

Yes, just all around, most of all for the victims, of course, but also for Marty. Bc he not only had intellectual disabilities,he had legit mentally illness. He likely wouldn’t have killed if he had access to treatment and didn’t face homophobia in his religion and in his everyday life .

@Mi-gs7xg 10 ай бұрын

@@hallievanoutryve3109 word

@gemmaspalding276 10 ай бұрын

Stories like this really make me want to become a foster parent. I'm a little scared to start as I don't wanna let anyone down or fail them 😔

@jazcc 10 ай бұрын

I too have been thinking about it. We have a son but we also said that we could adopt or foster. The system makes things so difficult sometimes.

@stargatis 10 ай бұрын

There’s a huge need for foster parents. People who care about kids are rare❤

@VeeMarieS 10 ай бұрын

I worked with at risk youth my entire professional career. I’d say to read a lot of books to prepare and educate yourself on some of the traumatic experiences some of these kids go through so you know how to handle it. It’s great if you decide to foster. They always need kind hearted support from great parents that are willing to be there for them.

@alyssabell3002 10 ай бұрын

Girl the fact that you care about failing them means that you would probably be a wonderful one. So so many kids need someone to love them!!!

@GiornoIsYourDaddy 10 ай бұрын

Me too! I have a medically complex kiddo & it’s really made me want to foster kiddos with medical complexities or diagnoses that require experience with things like g-tubes, oxygen, etc etc. I know sometimes kiddos with a lot of medical problems need specialized loving care too and I would love to be able to provide that safe place for those kiddos. It’s just something so important to me & advocating for the best and right care for my own children and I’d do it happily for any other kiddo. 💕 I know I need to wait until my children are older and my sons medical needs have gotten less, but I really want to look into it later in the future.

@nh-wq6sw 10 ай бұрын

DID is so interesting to me. Truly shows the power of the human mind and nature of reality. The personalities don’t just switch off when they aren’t fronting. They exist within their own pocket realities, sometimes isolated, sometimes shared, and often times prefer to stay there.

@symbatine 4 ай бұрын

We have a sort of long hallway with doors, and each door is a room for each part, and common rooms, and a debriefing room. I really think that once we all learn to work together that we'll learn the "mind palace" tricks. 😂

@chrisbee8443 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for covering this. My aunt was Cynthia… my mother never got over it, she has 2 daughters she left behind

@shannon8461 10 ай бұрын

DID caused by severe trauma, usually in childhood, is a really sad thing to watch a person go through. The personalities usually will include a “scared child” and “abuser”. Also can have personalities that could handle different parts of life. The problem being no control over which will come out at any given time, and if it’s the one that can cope in the current situation. And the fallout on those around the DID person is tragic as well. Constantly on edge, never knowing who they are dealing with one moment to the next. Just deeply sad all the way around.

@maryeckel9682 10 ай бұрын

I can't see that Marty had an effective protector, either. Poor guy.

@maryeckel9682 10 ай бұрын

@@Mrs_BaileySarian..she ain't married, bot

@Roziereds 10 ай бұрын

It seems like they take the roles in the "victim triangle", Persecuter, Victim, Hero

@kieistiny9862 10 ай бұрын

I wouldn’t say it’s tragic too be around someone with DID? I’ve been diagnosed with it for almost two years now, and it’s not tragic for anyone around me who knows I have DID, as long as they actually educate themselves on it and get too know the other alters in my system. Also, alters don’t usually include and “Abuser”. What your referring too would be a prosecutor, who by the way are more often than not deeply misunderstood, and often hold large amounts of the childhood trauma and just don’t know how to cope with it as they where never taught. (I hope this doesn’t come off as rude, honestly just trying to explain my side of it)

@stitchedfreedom 10 ай бұрын

@@kieistiny9862that's insightful, thank you for sharing

@Kryptongurl84 10 ай бұрын

Hearing about Robin made me sad; nobody seemed to care that she was missing or dead.

@dawnnromero7289 10 ай бұрын

I agree. Poor Robin.☹

@wonderland4515 10 ай бұрын

No one seemed to care for ANY of the victims which is not at all surprising considering it was the 70s and all the victims were women of colour and using substances.

@Another_taco.Yes_please 10 ай бұрын

This was a worry when I moved to NYC for work. No family there, great acquaintances that are long times friends now. I remember thinking if I died at home no one would know or come looking for me. Mummified and icky.

@michellehull5240 10 ай бұрын

Even for like. Any race. (Not saying it isn't worse for minorities because I know it is) I used to talk to my brother everyday, he went missing 6 years ago, ended up on the streets, and then just gone, and they won't even put out a missing person's report. So it's literally just me going off of leads, and after 2020, no one has scene him at all, and I am very much the only one that cares. This country just doesn't care about its people and its so sad.

@Another_taco.Yes_please 10 ай бұрын

@@michellehull5240 So sorry darling. It is the way it is. Horrible.

@quirkyblackgirlshow 10 ай бұрын

This is so heartbreaking. I have a lot of respect for his Mom for doing the right thing.

@mollyhartles6029 10 ай бұрын

This is why I think DID does exist but is extremely rare, not these teenagers on tiktok calling themselves “ systems”. Such a sad story :(

@sarahwoodward4094 10 ай бұрын

DID is extremely rare, I think that we do have misdiagnosis at times. It is also extremely difficult to diagnose.

@jessicaphillips6943 10 ай бұрын

"Systems" is also the correct terminology so.

@Mindphuck93 10 ай бұрын

DID is as common as red hair. It isn't rare. Only people who can't seem to fathom how common child abuse is thinks that

@initforcake3159 10 ай бұрын

@jessicaphillips6943 Yeah and anyone and everyone can Google that info. Doesn't mean anyone spouting it on TikTok for clout actually has it.

@SlothDaan 10 ай бұрын

Besides it being extremely rare. But having such a violent persona is even more rare!

@lizzykayOT7 10 ай бұрын

The descriptions of Marty's childhood and the conditions in which he grew up and lived is just really sad. It's sometimes hard to imagine what humans can live through.

@pixi3gee 10 ай бұрын

And Bailey's chair drama continues, but now the chair is fighting back 🤣

@KelseyDrummer 10 ай бұрын

Haha it's true!

@mizzpicklezz 10 ай бұрын

Chair: 1 Bailey: 0

@tiffanykrieger5035 4 ай бұрын

"Who are the people in your neighborhood?" A real song I was alive back then and Mr. Rogers and sesame Street are my jam.

@goddessahjia2623 2 ай бұрын

shout out the the forensic team for the identification being as hard as it was because of the state of the bodies, and his mother for doing the right thing!

@allie_xoxo7910 10 ай бұрын

This is one of those stories where someone is truly a victim and ends up the perpetrator. You can't help but feel heartbroken because you just know that things could have turned out better for them if someone really and properly loved and cared for them. DID is a horrible illness. Remember that this story does not mean that alters are deadly and dangerous - but if a system doesn't have proper help and support, things can get really out of hand and implode/explode.

@gracehayden8264 10 ай бұрын

this comment!!

@chloestarr7768 8 ай бұрын

I’m diagnosed with DID and plenty of other disorders (my dad is the same just undiagnosed). I’m very similar to him but I’m not violent or mean at all, just out of sorts and don’t remember some days when I’m not there. I can usually tell when things are about to about to change and will call someone close to me to help. DID isn’t fun but it doesn’t mean you’re horrible and it’s not a death sentence.

@ThirrinDiamond 8 ай бұрын

Did is not a horrible illness, it's just that in every group, a small minority of people will be horrible people, just like in fully "normal" people there are still horrible people among them

@jasminesoulard1133 10 ай бұрын

I was in the foster care system.. i can confirm this. Me and my sister were severly abused and neglected and starved, we ended up getting an emergency move (after a year), and she was banned for life for fostering or caring for kids amd the vulnerable.

@auroramorris9741 10 ай бұрын

She shouldn't just be band! People like her should thrown in jail for 25+ yrs!!🤬🤬🤬. My dad's ex-wife was the foster parent for many many years. She was one of the best. Even after these kids are grown adults in their 40s with kids of their own. They still call her mom. All of them. But sadly, from every other person I’ve ever known to be in foster care has nothing but horror stories to tell me. And to treat children anything but positive should be taken off the streets

@jermidahgreenfield1608 10 ай бұрын

😢

@thedepthsofrepair 10 ай бұрын

May you succeed on your journey beyond such horror. No one should have that as part of their story.

@brandiruble2987 10 ай бұрын

@@thedepthsofrepair I agree with you and love the kindness shared here.

@brandiruble2987 10 ай бұрын

thank you for sharing your story wiht us. Please know you did not do anything wrong as child ot be treated like that.

@vanessabrockman379 9 ай бұрын

“I’m going to make something cute, like pink. I’m always looking scary “ - She managed to get a scary looking pink makeup

@buffalomomo5061 10 ай бұрын

The King Solomon story had my crying!!! Bailey, if you ever have extra time please consider a new series called Bible Stories with Bailey. You’re without a doubt my favorite story teller ever!!!

@laquettaowens6120 10 ай бұрын

Yes, because the bible is the best stories to tell.

@saint_payasa760 8 ай бұрын

You're so right!!!!!! I would def watch the series too 💯

@seleciaa 10 ай бұрын

This is tragic. He was failed by society and became a menace because of it.

@foreverwild9298 10 ай бұрын

It happens more than we realize

@lenusniq_9746 10 ай бұрын

Stories like these are the hardest because your heart breaks for the murderer's child/abused part but it also breaks for the victims. True true villain is the system in such cases.

@kimmccracken5519 10 ай бұрын

As I watch some of these I feel my heart breaking for the person. They do horrible things but my heart breaks for the children they were. So many had absolutely horrible childhoods. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it’s ok what they did but I can’t imagine how messed up their brains would be.

@meowmachine9147 10 ай бұрын

Absolutely. We can feel for the child but still not condone their actions as adults.

@kimmccracken5519 10 ай бұрын

@@meowmachine9147 thank you! I’m so glad I’m not the only one that feels that way.

@kristinatodorovic2398 10 ай бұрын

@@kimmccracken5519 not at all, I feel the same way

@fkitty444 10 ай бұрын

For the story of Solomon, I don't think it mattered to the King who was actually the blood mother, a REAL mother would care, and that is who should be raising a child of the people. Layers of wisdom.

@jreneecomedy 8 ай бұрын

I have been a listener since the summer of 2020. I love her crime stories.

@emmaleebad4455 10 ай бұрын

“I guess Marty was short for Harrison” 😭😭😭😭 iconic

@lady_k5588 10 ай бұрын

I love how Bailey has conversations with herself. Bailey: "Don't cry, it's only makeup it washes off" Also Bailey: "I know, but like come on!!" I do the exact same thing ALL. THE. TIME. Love ya girl! ❤💕

@kathernandez6682 9 ай бұрын

Me too lol

@Tru3BratsLife 9 ай бұрын

Right when I read this she started saying it😂 Perfect timing!!!!

@jaydinelee7181 4 ай бұрын

It really made me feel normal lol

@sunnyadams5842 3 ай бұрын

I do the same. If I didn't coach myself, I'd fall off the rails.! Who needs a therapist when I and me can work it out together?! Ooops!! She fell off her chair right there!!!! Too much!! Love you, Bailey❤

@BrookHarrr-su6tu 27 күн бұрын

NOOOO BECAUSE WHEN HE ASKED THE JUDGE FOR HIS COOKIE MONSTER DOLL BACK THAT ACTUALLY BROKE MY HEART

@canada954 7 ай бұрын

i love when video editors on youtube get little cameos through a text box in the video, warms my heart

@jenniferharper5920 10 ай бұрын

“I just want to be pretty and I can’t get this to blend”…I felt that in my soul. There is nothing more aggravating than when you can’t get your makeup to blend.😭

@maryeckel9682 10 ай бұрын

A lot of makeup doesn't seem to be tested on real people with skin and pores.

@flowersofantimony 10 ай бұрын

@@maryeckel9682 I've found that THAT kind of makeup works if you put down like...putty style primer. But it ends up cakey and gross anyway so. Yeah, it's so bad.

@samanthaminaya7410 10 ай бұрын

Deadass, all the effort and sometimes it's just not doing the thing. Doesn't give what it needs to give. I will say tho, elf primer and OneSizes blurring beauty balm works magic for my dry skin.

@sadiyasaleh233 10 ай бұрын

@jenniferharper5920 Right! really discussing makeup in a video where real people are killed.

@starryadventure8922 10 ай бұрын

I think my worst moment in my career was watching a 12-year-old give birth while her 20-year-old boyfriend was there. I just couldn't comprehend how this world was going backward to this being ok with the parents.

@TH-wh8ew 10 ай бұрын

That is disgustingly sick and wrong in every sense of the words... 12 years old is a child !

@starryadventure8922 10 ай бұрын

@TH-wh8ew your telling me I couldn't believe the parents they were chilling like nothing was wrong in the situation. I was so excited about labor and delivery I really wanted to be my specialty for nursing. I couldn't do it after this incident. I was so mad I had to walk away a couple of times. How in the world was this ok to anyone. Especially her parents

@alfonzo7822 10 ай бұрын

Surely that's not a common thing 😔

@starryadventure8922 10 ай бұрын

@@alfonzo7822 you'd be surprised how much younger they're getting

@sarahr2373 10 ай бұрын

You reported that to authorities I hope

@daisyprieto4654 9 ай бұрын

It’s Monday! And something dark is coming.. 😈 This needs to be merch! ASAP!

@aapuvanful 10 ай бұрын

Please do a story on Elisabeth Fritzl. He held his daughter in the basement for years!

@fruitloop1241 5 ай бұрын

Just finished a book on this !!

@MsKellychick 10 ай бұрын

Falling out of the chair is my new favorite Bailey moment 😂

@kristin5708 10 ай бұрын

When did this happen? I'm hoping I didn't miss it 😂

@MsKellychick 10 ай бұрын

@@kristin5708 21:34

@maryeckel9682 10 ай бұрын

"Bailey Sarian Greatest Moments" top three! The swearing made it even better.

@nateortiz4467 10 ай бұрын

Same

@sailorcheri 10 ай бұрын

It’s the giggle that got me 😝❤

@symbatine 10 ай бұрын

As someone who was diagnosed DID in the past several years, this one hit me hard. Thank you for taking the time to explain what DID is. Not everyone takes the time to learn more, so from the bottom of my hearts: thank you Bailey.

@jazzyjs 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for being open about it. I pray that you have the positive support system you need at all times. 🙏🏽❤️

@ArwenNMyrtlesMom 10 ай бұрын

You didn't ask for this, sweetie. I truly hope that you are in a safe place now.

@bbyghoulcy 10 ай бұрын

i got diagnosed lately after i turned 18 so kinda recently i dont rlly talk ab it but i appreciated it too but tbh im not quite sure if he specifically had did , it was kinda far back maybe another dissociate disorder like one of the osdd idk much ab them but she mentioned how he stated he was finally "just marty" but earler she also explained it cant go away but u can go to therapy.

@rozaliaimp 9 ай бұрын

@@bbyghoulcy DID isn't real. If you got diagnosed with it please get second opinion. Watch memory wars by matt orchard.

@mollyevansp 7 ай бұрын

You are funny, but I've never laughed so hard, as when you fell out of your chair! 🤣🤣🤣

@seanedwards1447 2 ай бұрын

7 year foster care system survivor here. It really is as terrible as people say it is 💔

@bamaQT99 10 ай бұрын

I love it when Bailey says “I just want to be pretty!” GIRL! You are beautiful! Without and with makeup!

@hbradley1996 10 ай бұрын

WAIT! At the age of 66 does Marty still have his Cookie Monster plushie? I know that may not matter or seem silly, but the fact that helped him through the years for so long has me wonder. That tugged on my heart a little 😕

@Layra9329 10 ай бұрын

Hopefully not

@pickasam1 10 ай бұрын

I was wondering the same and if he kept it I bet it smelled like rotting bodies

@juliannylantigua3891 10 ай бұрын

I’m sure he probably couldn’t keep it in jail .. not sure if they would’ve held it for him in that time

@calilnalan 10 ай бұрын

Given he's in a special needs unit, he might have a cookie monster plushie but maybe not the original one

@janetwhite7786 10 ай бұрын

That's what i was wondering.

@tammykelsey7877 7 ай бұрын

Bailey falling off the chair in shock was priceless!!! Love you girl!!! ❤️🙏✌🏻

@sassychick7238 10 ай бұрын

My favourite will always be Bailey laughing at inappropriate times. I’m like that too 🤣

@kerricoakley1788 10 ай бұрын

THANK YOU for leaving the falling off the chair part in. I’ve been going through a really rough patch and have been crying all the time. Seeing that made me laugh for the first time in a while. I love you Bailey!

@KelseyDrummer 10 ай бұрын

I just went through a similar patch. It slowly gets better. Slowly! Hang in there friend.❤

@kerricoakley1788 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for that ❤️

@lovewins7412 10 ай бұрын

You're not alone ❤

@sbuttonblossom9286 10 ай бұрын

It will pass my sweet. It feels like it won’t but it will. Hang in there x

@heatherhiggins2002 10 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry for whatever you are going through. Just try to keep moving forward one step at a time. Some days will be better than others, but I hope it gets better soon.

@monicauribe5236 10 ай бұрын

Thanks for giving me the mom break that I need by posting this Bailey !! We love you ❤

@monicauribe5236 10 ай бұрын

By the way the part you fall out of the chair ! Made my day lol 😆 you’re so funny

@Ashtonsmom 10 ай бұрын

Yes mama! My mom break too!!

@kierranichole683 10 ай бұрын

Mine too! I look forward to my mom break with Bailey every Monday ☺️

@aherrera5196 10 ай бұрын

And it’s 1 whole hour

@monicauribe5236 10 ай бұрын

@@aherrera5196 I know for a mom it gets divided into 4 episodes lol

@suzettegriffith8728 2 ай бұрын

Bailey great job on and this one has something extra I listen to so many other podcast where Solomon law was a part of the ruling, but none of them spoke of how it originated from King Solomon. Thanks for that you’re such a darling.

@ravenhairmommy9801 10 ай бұрын

Bailey, you should do a video on Leticia Stauch in Colorado. Talk about a sad story with an evil woman who her story telling never ended no matter how ridiculous they were

@glambaby21 10 ай бұрын

My mother has DID, its an incredibly complex disease, and theres been times she would not come back to her normal self and her “personalities” would take her over completely. Its heartbreaking

@rose13red 10 ай бұрын

I’m so sorry, that sounds rough 😢

@ziggyvonmars 10 ай бұрын

Not all personalities are bad or crazy. Their purpose is to be protective. It would be sad not to have your mother's personality around all the time of course- I definitely 100% agree with you but understanding that they were formed to protect her from incredibly traumatic abuse might make them easier to bear. I hope she has a fantastic treatment team helping you and the family handle life. There's nothing like trying to support someone who has DID. Heartbreaking indeed.

@glambaby21 10 ай бұрын

@@ziggyvonmars why are you acting like i dont support her? This has been going on for 20 years I am fully aware of why and how it happened and how to support and handle her.

@rozaliaimp 9 ай бұрын

@@ziggyvonmars DID ISNT REAL

@ferisera 10 ай бұрын

"Life was not setting Marty up for success." Oof. What a sad series of stacking failures that ended up hurting so many lives!

@snackbarqueen 21 күн бұрын

Bailey falling out of her chair and owning it is why I love her lol 😂 she reminds me so much of myself, I’m such a klutz 😅 thank you for being you Queen B ! p.s. love love love the pretty pink look 🩷

@beccas588 9 ай бұрын

Bailey, they arent called personalities they are alternate identities or alters for short. So therefore for those with DID there is a host which is the alter or identity who fronts the most in this case that would be Marty, the others are alters. Junior would be considered a little which is basically a child alter. Frank would most likely be considered a persecutor alter. Each alter has their own jobs or roles within the system.

@thisisayoutubeaccount 9 ай бұрын

This! She also referred to the host as the "legitimate" alter which isn't great. All alters are people, hosts just front more!

@AllyAsphyxia 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for this (from someone who has this)

@beccas588 5 ай бұрын

@@AllyAsphyxia you are welcome.

@marissapadilla8161 10 ай бұрын

This one left me really sad tho 😢! He could have been saved if he had the right treatment and in turn, the women as well! Also thank you Bailey for showing us how human you are and leaving in the chair fall 😂🫶!

@shiro-vo9ip 10 ай бұрын

Bailey is my bedtime story teller. I sleep listening to her every night.

@lovewins7412 10 ай бұрын

U guys are so lucky for that!

@SharonSturnfield 10 ай бұрын

Saaaaame

@cathdl 10 ай бұрын

Same

@lizshaynapunimbee7632 10 ай бұрын

Same

@mayaleyva9467 10 ай бұрын

Literally same. It started during the pandemic and I still sleep to her almost every night

@mirandawatters8666 9 ай бұрын

I used to hate when Bailey said "excape" instead of escape but after watching for so many years it's comforting

@Snaxolotly 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for having new stories! I feel like I've heard a lot of creators mention the same cases, but your's are always fresh and intense!

@221BBakerStreet 10 ай бұрын

There are so many coincidences in this story for me, it's almost creepy. I'm only a third of the way through and I've learned that Marty and I were born exactly one month apart in the same year (I was born 8th August 1959) both our mothers were named Lillian, both our mothers had five children and my name is Robyn, the same as his girlfriend. Can't wait to see if there are any other similarities.

@theemiamarie9148 10 ай бұрын

Wow this is really interesting. Did you find anymore similarities? (I'm so invested now lol)

@emilynelson9174 10 ай бұрын

That's spooky!

@thehappyrecluse 10 ай бұрын

Interesting coincidences but you should delete this comment since you disclose a lot of information about yourself.

@eden20111 10 ай бұрын

@@thehappyreclusewhy would she delete this comment? She’s telling her story and I would have never heard about this intriguing case if it weren’t for her comment.

@thehappyrecluse 10 ай бұрын

@eden20111 because you never know who is reading these comments online, and there are people out there who could read her comment with bad intentions. They could use all the information she gave, like her first name, full birthday, number of siblings, and her mother's first name against her. Identity theft and scams are no joke, and though her comment is interesting , it really isn't safe or in her best interests to keep it up.

@pjsmommason5783 10 ай бұрын

Unfortunately, people do try to fake DID. But I feel people who do try to fake it are still suffering in one way or another.

@kristinatodorovic2398 10 ай бұрын

absolutely, some kind of possible personality disorder maybe borderline (not to get too technical or do a deep dive into psych lol)

@pjsmommason5783 10 ай бұрын

@@kristinatodorovic2398 totally agree

@nikkiisdone 10 ай бұрын

My ex used it as a way to abuse me. I tried to be supportive for almost two years before I had to call it. He may not have had DID, but he definitely had to be mentally ill to do that to a person.

@kristinatodorovic2398 10 ай бұрын

@@nikkiisdone I am so sorry you had to go through that, but I am glad you finally got away, no one deserves to be abused.

@nikkiisdone 9 ай бұрын

@@kristinatodorovic2398 Thank you. I never public came out about the root of the control he used, because honestly, being fooled by that was embarrassing. At the very least I feel like I can use that experience to warn others that people will use anything to manipulate you, so don't believe them at your own expense.

@alyssasmith6856 10 ай бұрын

i love you bailey, i really do. i’ve been here for like 4 years now. but we really REALLY need you to do some research on DID 😭😭🙏🏼 it’s so extremely stigmatized & very hard to listen to people talk about it without to proper context. Dissociative Identity Disorder is an insanely interesting topic and i think you’d really enjoy learning about it! 💗🙂

@thisisayoutubeaccount 9 ай бұрын

This! She's doing pretty well but there are some concepts like co-consciousness she doesnt seem to know. Also her terminology was a bit off. I dont thonk she looked into DID very deeply. And a disclaimer about how DID systems are by and large NOT dangerous at all could never hurt. Im sure she could find some people with the conditions she's talking about on her MM&M episodes who could give her some basic info before she records!

@Togdurtha 4 ай бұрын

As a multiple times diagnosed DID System who has been studied extensively, I agree here👏🏻

@kiurimelorie1609 10 ай бұрын

Bailey you're totally the best at what you do! I listen to many true crime podcasts, but your jokes and your enthusiasm are unique! You also show a lot of the thinking that you do about the case and the empaty that you have for the victims but also for the murderers' past without being boring. I love your MMM!

@graceabdalla469 10 ай бұрын

This is one of those stories where I really don’t know how to feel. DID is so real, and he was definitely traumatized, but at the same time he k!lled people. Like how do you reconcile the two?

@ThirrinDiamond 8 ай бұрын

You reconcile it by fixing the child care* system so that it can't happen again. What happened should not have happened and would not have happened if we actually took care of every child

@Hannah-zz4qo 10 ай бұрын

i was in foster care when i was a baby until i was about 2 1/2. luckily, i had the best foster parents. i now have been adopted by my parents (not biological) for the past 16 years. i love my parents and i’m incredible thankful for the judge who said my birth mom wasn’t fit to be my mother.

@mahailiabrown3972 10 ай бұрын

I was also adopted and though I did had tough parents I understand why they were the way they were and the struggles it is to have your children and another child that has been through things they shouldn't even know about I'm glad I had them and not people who would have continued to put me in danger

@al_sprays_paint8669 2 ай бұрын

Something often said about DID "protector" personalities is that a traumatized child will choose a figure who is strong and capable enough to handle the trauma that they are being subjected to. The fact that he manifested a father figure is heartbreaking. 💔

@KotatsuHobo 12 күн бұрын

and the fact that the father-figure alter is, itself, abusive is all the more telling (and crushing)