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“The Corridor” is a philosophy I came to write one day about 5 years ago. I had just gone through a very dark and soul destroying time in my life having lost my father unexpectedly due to ill health and then losing my job / career just a few months later as a result of corporate restructuring. I basically felt as though my entire life’s work, all the applied effort, all the hopes and the dreams and the things I loved had all been erased! That everything I had worked towards, shed blood, sweat and tears over had amounted to nothing! As I sat in that moment of intense feeling I looked back along the journey of my life to see how many other times I had tried so hard and failed miserably that it got to a point where I was starting to question the entire point of trying at all. Because if nothing we do matters, if it’s all to be lost anyway, if it all ends the same way regardless of whether we put in the effort or not then what on earth was the point of doing anything?
Trouble is that the dreaded and infamous “Dark Night of the Soul” is both an all consuming and addictive place to be, so it’s taken me many years to pull myself out of that deep low and truth be told I’m not completely out of it yet. An existential crisis still haunts my awareness every single day threatening to steal my hope and motivation. It takes a lot of mental resilience to push through the malaise and apathy to apply myself to activities, a level of resilience I am not always able to maintain. But I do at least “try to try” and sometimes that is enough... The Corridor therefore is a way for me to describe that feeling of how we as human beings start to accept failure as the rule rather than the exception whenever we face repeated rejection and loss. Because each time we face such hardships it hurts; it hurts like Hell! And so we avoid trying as a way to avoid the hurt, believing that if we do not try to win then we will not have to face the reality of losing. But all this really does is leave our lives in perpetual darkness, plunging us into self-hate and despair. For while we may indeed avoid rejection, we also avoid the love, the fun and the excitement; we avoid hope! All the things needed to improve our lives for the better.
So if you take nothing else from this then at least take the knowledge that I too lack a dream, I too fear that life is meaningless but I still refuse to give up completely. Because while trying doesn’t guarantee success, to not try at all will definitely guarantee our eternal failure.
Best wishes everyone and stay safe.
Westley xx
#thoughtsofsteel
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