500 Days of Summer is a movie that every young teenager, who has yet to embark on dating, must watch. It really addresses the penchant that many young and naive people have of idealizing someone they desire, which in turn leads them to unrealistic expectations and subsequent disappointment. This tendency to fashion fictional narratives about the object of ones desires extends far past romantic relationships, it extends to the way young people have a propensity to romanticize everything - from their future financial prospects to the way the world sees them. While youthful optimism should not be completely jettisoned, because we need dreamers, that optimism should be tempered with logic and dose of reality. The most destructive of all myths are the ones that we create for ourselves.

"Tom: I need to know that you're not going to wake up tomorrow morning and feel differently Summer: And I can't give you that. Nobody can." That about sums up the movie for me and it's pretty much why it's one of my favorite movies.

The thing I love the most about this movie is just how realistic it is. I related to every part of it so much, I literally had a relationship like that in my life. I loved him, he said he "didn't want anything serious" and I didn't listen, and heartbreak and growth occurred for me down the road. It's such an honest film.

As a woman this movie was really cool because I've been in the situation of "Summer" where a guy basically fell in love with me, even though he didn't really know me at all, and he used to follow me around and would never take no for an answer and seemed to think we were fated to be together or something... it was really confusing. Seeing this movie allowed me to see the other point of view. I think sometimes men can see you, and just from the way you look and the fact that you're pretty and kind of nice, they think they know all about you, and make up all sorts of things in their head, and they fall in love with that person, rather than the actual person you are.

i always thought it was less about the errors of adopting a "hey, i'm going to win you over" mindset, and more about the errors of making another person the foundation for your happiness in life.

This is a fantastic review of the movie but one major thing you didn't touch on here is the expectations vs reality scene. That scene in particular hit me like a truck and I wish I had seen it sooner because it would have helped me in the long run

I never hated summer, i always noticed that tom had an inmature view of relationships, the summer we see in the movie was his perception of "the perfect magical girl", in the end summer was just a woman like any other and he failed at getting to know her as a human with flaws.

I don't agree that the ending is cheesy. While the name choice of Autumn is a cute "coincidence" in terms of Tom's storyline, the theme is still very present in that scene. The idea of how each relationship grows you and changes you and how you move on from summery expectations to something more grounded in a mixed season, a relationship where you can learn and grow, really finds grounding in that ending.

i love this movie and i agree that it does end on a high note. I love the colour theory about this movie where summer is represented by the colour blue and tom with brown. tom always wears brown colours in the movie. in the dance scene after he slept with summer everyone behind tom was wearing blue and summer is always wearing blue in their happy scenes as well. and after their break up the colour palette shifts back to brown. tom is always trying to fit in to summer's "blue" world (or the other way around). at the end, tom walks into a brown building and meets autumn (a season that has a lot of browns) and she is wearing brown as well. tom is finally meeting someone who fits into his world (and vice versa).

Most people *idealize* the other person and "fall in love" with their own idealization of that person, not with who that person really is. That's why there's nasty fights and drama and betrayal and cheating. Learn to see people for who they truly are. Just because they look the part, doesn't mean they are.

As a guy whose gotten his heart broken before, this film hits it right on the nose. From the moment the relationship started until the very end, I felt every emotion that Tom felt. If you are a young male. In your 20s or early 30s and just went through a devastating break up watch this movie. It won't cure the agony that comes along with heartbreak, but it will put things into perspective for you. It may even motivate you to do all you can to move on. I love this film.

Gives me chills everytime I hear the song and watch the trailer

As an older guy (62) I never saw Summer in a negative light. I love this movie, not because I relate to the protagonist, but because it is truly well done and illuminates important characteristics and feelings we've all seen growing up, probably on both sides. Plus it is really well done, great directing.

Great video. Most people hate Summer, but I always try to stand up for her for the fact that she told him that she didn't want a relationship from the very beginning. Do I think she's perfect? No. Am I on Tom's side? Yes. But I see her point of view. I love this movie so much. It's so realistic.

500 days is my favorite movie ever. I think I've seen it at least 20 times and I just can't get enough. I know the quotes, the music, everything and, as he said, it's because it truly means something for me. I agree with his thoughts, but can't believe he missed the Expectations/Reality Scene. He could've gotten so much material with that scene, cuz let's face it: we've all have had those moments where our expectations don't align with reality and it's so dissapointing.

500 Days of Summer's message reminded me of that of another work that came out around the same time, John Green's high school comedy novel, Paper Towns. Tom had an idealized view of women, and thought that life and had to follow that specific format, that there were such a thing as soul mates and that we all had the "one." In Paper Towns, the protagonist had an idealized view of the future and never saw his love interest, Margo, for who she really was. The guy from Paper Towns thought of Margo as more than human, that she was all these wonderful things, and not messed up on the inside like everybody else. Margo, much like Summer, was a normal person who other people had a larger-than-life view of. The male leads of both stories thought of their love interests as idealized, a mistake many of us make. They both thought they were in love, which they really weren't. 500 Days also follows a similar story-telling structure as another one of Green's books, An Abundance of Katherines.

I am a woman and I can relate to Tom.

I swear this video is now officially rated as the top 5 things that have saved my life! I've just been a victim to the summer effect and this has just made me realise that it's normal and part of life. Thank you so much! :D

Our culture is so desperately attached to the idea of "happiness" that we try whatever we can to get it--as if it's something we can even "get." We buy it, sell it, trade it, exchange it, abuse it, but we're always only idealizing external objects and people and trying to force-fit them into that emptiness we feel. But we can't "have" happiness; we can *be* happy, and that requires a total makeover of our mentalities and how we approach our daily lives. Not chasing after fantasies but staying grounded, optimistic, and appreciative about our lived experiences. I guess it's part of maturing and shedding that egocentrism with which we're saddled.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I used to hate Summer for rejecting Tom but I completely understand Summer's POV now as I'm currently in a more/less similar situation. There is this guy who has expressed his interest towards me whom I've rejected once before. After doing a lot of thinking, I rejected him the first time because there was something missing and I realised I wasnt ready to commit to a serious relationship. I also realised I let him into my life that time because I liked the idea of having someone there as I was jealous and lonely from seeing my friends getting married left and right. I didnt want to string him along knowing I couldnt give him what he wanted which was a relationship that could potentially lead to marriage. Recently, he texted asking for another chance and now I'm back to square one, I'm in a huge dilemma whether to give it a another go:( It would have been easier if he was a complete douchebag but he's a total opposite of that. He's a really good guy, loyal, caring and easy to talk to. People have been telling me how lucky I am to have someone like him who is willing to go extra mile for me, not a lot of guys these days are as nice as him, he is a good as it can get. However, I still feel nothing. And this makes me feel guilty, how could I not bring myself to accept a good guy like him? I keep thinking, if I give him another chance, maybe I will learn to love him? But the problem with that is, what if I never learn to love him, it could be even more heartbreaking for him and I dont want to hurt him anymore. What's wrong with me? Here's a great guy who could potentially make me happy yet I feel nothing:( Feelings are so complicated.

I also saw a very interesting video on D News on how men might not react to a breakup with breakdowns and crying bowls full, but instead on the surface appear as if they can very much have a gala of a time. But in the long run, they never really get over someone they love, and can have a spell of the blues years later on a gloomy day bored.

I am a girl and I have been in Summer's position a few times... I never understood why the guys wanted to move forward so quickly and were so "in love" with me even though we did not really know each other for that long... this movie made me realize the guys' point of views. I understand why Summer said at the end that she was never sure about Tom because he was delusional and many people are delusional in relationships. Anyways, as you said, take the person as he or she is not as you want him or he or she to be.

500 Days is a under appreciated gem. Its one of the best films of the last decade, yet very few people I know have seen it.

Such a realistic movie, cant blame summer for warning him she didnt want to be in a relationship from the start, but cant blame tom for falling so hard

Tom set himself up for his own heartbreak. Summer didn't fantasize Tom at all really. She saw him as just another guy she was dating. Yes, she shared things with him that she never told anyone before, and so on, however, at no point did Summer ever think that he was "the one". That's why she got married to another guy. Summer only was with Tom when she first moved, but she found her true love long in to her relationship with Tom. This is why Summer said to Tom when she said that she doesn't believe in True Love. This was in their first days together, and she most definitely experienced true love whenever she met the guy that she married. The reason why Summer chose the other guy over Tom was simply because EXACTLY LIKE TOM HANSON SHE FOUND THE ONE, except she did not find the one "in Tom". Summer did not deceive Tom she was just afraid to break Tom's heart by expressing that she did not let be him. In a wrap, TOM AND SUMMER'S LOVE WAS NOT IN VAIN IT MADE THEM BOTH BELIEVE IN LOVE AND HELPED THEM BOTH FIND "THE ONE"

I think that if you see the movie only through Tom's eyes, the message is the you have to be "more realistic". I found the beauty of the movie in identifying with both people... In their last scene in the park, it was clear that each of them learned from their experience from the other... Tom understood that a relationship wouldn't be like some lyric he heard in his teen years. But Summer also learned to recognize some sort of fate or kismet in her meeting her future husband, something she would have scoffed at when the movie began. And while we all have, at some point, failed relationships, actually learning and growing by what that bitch who dumped us actually made us face is something that leaves us better people. The last scene, where he meets a woman named Autumn is a little cute, perhaps. But it also shows that while he learned from his relationship with Summer, he hasn't given up on who he is. He's changed, but not completely different. He's open to some fate playing a role, but also more hesitant and willing to question it in the end.

This movie never gets old. The cinematography, the gimmick, the plot, the acting, the music. Everything is on point. One of the best movies I've ever seen in my entire life.

it's called "breadcrumbing" or "Hansel and Gretelling" When a guy or girl gives someone just enough attention to keep their hope of a relationship alive.

The film works so well because she manipulates the viewer just as much as she manipulates Tom. The viewer goes in on their first view believing it to be a traditional romcom (despite the narrator's famous warning), just as Tom believes this to be a traditional romance. When it doesn't work out with Summer, the viewer feels cheated too out of their Hollywood romance story, just as Tom feels messed around with. This film carries the best example and warning that 'real life and real love and relationships aren't like what you see in the films'. Tom's view of love is skewed by music and film, and often with incorrect interpretations (like the ending to The Graduate). The viewer goes in expecting a traditional romcom and doesn't get it. Tom expected a romance like he saw in the movies and didn't get it. This is a wake-up call to its viewers that relationships aren't as simple as in traditional films. 500 Days wasn't the first film to subvert the romcom stereotype, but in my opinion it subverted it the best.

"I love how she makes me feel, like anything's possible, or like life is worth it." Is such a great line in this movie by Tom.

This movie was therapy for me. I’m going through this exact thing with a girl. I met her in high school and we became friends. I fell in love with her and the similarities and connection we had made me truly believe that she was the one. I told her my feelings and she didn’t want to go there but she still played Summer. Seeing this movie woke me up. It saved me.

"I'm going to win you over." Hey John, I'm living in South Korea, and unfortunately this is not only a prevalent mentality when dating, is it encouraged by both sides. When Korean girls show me little interest, I've had other female Korean friends say I just need to try harder to show her attention to win her over, and sadly, those efforts tend to work. As a feminist, I don't like playing that game, but it's the game that's still being played in Korea in 2016.

I've been both Summer and Tom in different relationships! You look a lot like Bradley Cooper btw

You look like Bradley Cooper. You do!

For me the interesting aspect in this film is that... some may hate summer, the girl. But the girl is actually playing the man. Remember the scene where they're having pancakes? She said she is Sid Vicious (wich means he's been sickly hurting him) and only then he realize he's been playing the roll of Nancy... And then, she even tell him "don't go, you still my best friend"... Here is the scene... kzfaq.info/get/bejne/n7uGmqSosdiVd4U.html

I 100% agree. I’m a 26years old woman in London, England who constantly suffers from melancholy in love and dating! It’s exhausting! I fancy a guy then switch off when he does the same. Then i chase after guys that don’t like me. Totally messy. Hollywood has brainwashed me about relationship stereotypes and I’ve disregarded several amazing guys because they are up to ‘par’ either too short, etc... and i sit and watch people get married every Saturday and feel really uneasy about saying congrats as I’m suffocated with congrats! This video made so much sense! Thankyou

This was so insightful. You know that feeling you get when somebody articulates something that you feel, but haven't been able to articulate yourself? This is it. Great video. I'm sure some of your points will be recited by me in the future when I try to convince people to watch this movie.

I do understand why ppl defend Summer's actions/personality, but the ONLY thing I cannot ever understand from Summer, is that when she started noticing that Tom was falling for her deeply and that he wanted her, that she never tried to end their "thing". She just keep going for her own satisfaction, resulting in a bigger disappointment for Tom. She allowed him to climb higher, making his fall way more painful at the end. Pure selfishness.

Great video man. You are a great speaker. I remember watching you in the young turks years ago. I really like 500 days of summer as well. Fuck the fantasy.

Yes, 'High Fidelity' also tackles similar subject matter in a fun and entertaining way. I would also recommend 'Say Anything ...' as another film that looks at the idea of romantic love from a man's perspective. Both John Cusack movies.

Thanks for this review man. I️ totally agree with everything you are saying. There was a summer (girl) I️ went through in my life as well.

This movie annoys Joseph Gorden-Levitt, because he's run into far too many people who misinterpret the film. Personally, I think that fits, because the movie is about someone whose sense of romance was formed by misinterpreting the ending to The Graduate. So it makes sense people misinterpret it.

I love 500 Days of Summer. I think during the watching of it, I empathize with him more, but as I think about it, I did have an experience when I was 21 where a guy I knew in passing from working on a play together but not really spending time interacting asked me out 6 months later, and I said yes, and after our 2nd date he wrote me a letter saying he loved me and "always had," and I thought "we hardly know each other." Yet I wasn't against having a relationship and didn't want to shoot down the idea without finding out if there could be something real between us. After 3 months and several declarations of love from him, I realized that I loved him as a friend and even felt maternal/protective towards him, but there was no romantic love... so he was not "the one," and it was not fair to him to continue the relationship. I use the "the one" reference because I *do* believe sometimes there is the one. In my case, I had met my "the one" (a cute geeky guy) 6 years previous when I was 15, but he was not in a place in his life to see it. I moved on with my life... we didn't talk for a couple of years, then we started spending time together as friends and becoming best friends, then a decade after we first met, we ended up dating and got married a year and a half later. We've been married for more than 20 years. We've grown and changed over time and those changes compliment each other. So while you can't force someone to want something they don't want, if it's "meant to be" it will come together when the time is right. We actually watched 500 Days of Summer together. Now, I have a movie recommendation, "With Honors" with Brendan Fraser. My husband and I saw it at the theater when we were in our "just friends" phase when he thought he'd blown his chance with me because I was seeing someone else (who eventually did something I couldn't get passed) reopening the door for my friend to become more. In "With Honors" **spoiler** **alert** there's a friendship with definitely more-than-friend vibes, but nothing is happening until the moment he walks up to her and she asks "What are you doing?" and he replies "Ending our friendship" and kisses her. Of course, they really are still friends but they're also more. That moment in the movie was ultimately a turning point in our lives, because it gave my friend and eventual husband the determination that if I became available, he wouldn't miss his chance again. We started dating 11 months after seeing that movie.

The honesty factor means a lot, if someone is willing to share with you what their needs are as equally as you being able to share your own is ideal. Two people being able to stand independently and from that space entering into a loving, healthy, functional and fulfilling relationship brings a depth and profound meaning to it all. No lies, no deceit, no manipulation, no control/power issues. Just two people willing to make a life together, just love

500 Days of Summer is such an Aquarius movie

I'm a 57 year old man and for some reason I really enjoy this picture. I have watched it about a dozen times. I'm not one to do something like that. By the way, you did an excellent job with your take on this picture.

Such a great review! I love this movie so much, and it was awesome to hear someone talk about it :D

500 Days of Summer taught me so much about relationships and it bothers me when people think that Summer is just a manic pixie girl. But like a video I just watched mentioned, if people think she is a manic pixie girl, then the movie did it's job as it is through Tom's eyes. I myself, the first time I saw it, was on Tom's side. I completely disregard the beginning where they said that it wasn't a love story because i related so much to Tom at the time. The more I watched it, I realized how destructive he was and applied it to my relationships. Safe to say that I've learned my lesson all thanks to that movie. Kind of even relate to Summer now. Overall, the movie was beautifully put together and is easily my favorite of all time. Every adolescent should watch to have the understanding that no one will be prefect.

Unfortunately because of the way masculinity operates in our culture, men aren't given many opportunities to explore their emotions and feelings in a diverse way, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like love and relationships. That being said, I think this film is great in that it gives a nontraditional view on the topic and does so through a male perspective, which is also rare, even though love involves all genders, it's rarely given space outside of the female POV (even though that POV is often a reflection of the hetronormative dichotomy, mixed in with a splash of sexism lol). Overall, I enjoyed the review :)

Just watched the movie and it had kida big impact on me. I've been reading some reviews, but your video was the best so far. Congratulations, man.

I love this break down of the movie. 500 Days of Summer is one of my favourite movies as well. The first time I watched it was when I was 17 years old and had only been in one relationship that ultimately ended and broke my heart so, of course, I had the same initial reaction as you, which was empathy for Tom and a dislike for Summer and her treatment of him. Over the years I have watched this movie again and again and at different stages of my life it meant different things. At one point I found myself more able to relate to Summer and less able to relate to Tom. And thats what I love about the movie: that an individual (such as myself or anyone else for that matter) can be both a Tom and a Summer depending on where they are at in their lives. And it can switch back and forth many times. I think most of us can relate to Tom's longing for love and destiny, but after having a few relationships fall apart, many of us can also relate to Summer's tendency to keep a safe distance. And the irony is that both of these viewpoints (blindly leaping into a relationship and immediately putting all of your investment into that relationship vs. keeping someone at a safe distance and not opening up to someone fully) can be helpful and detrimental in different ways. My 17 year old self: "Well you're not the only one who gets a say in this. I do too. And I say we're a couple, goddammit!" My 21 year old self: "She had only loved two things: one was her long dark hair. The other was how easily she could cut it off and feel nothing." My present (and newly engaged!) self: "I just woke up one day and I knew...what I was never sure of with you." Great movie, great analysis. Relatable to anyone in any stage of life. Cheers. :)

I really appreciate your analysis. Often what I hear about this movie from guys is that they can totally relate to Tom, but not really thinking past the point of, "Oh yeah I've totally been there with manipulative girls like that!" It's really important take away as the lesson that when someone is clear about their intentions, it isn't a challenge.

Omg I love this video and review of the movie! One of my favourite movies for the same reasons

just found your channel. this is the 1st video I've seen of yours but I look fwd to watching more. mad respect for how you spoke on one of my fave movies

I absolutely loved what you said towards the end. A clean slate is essential for a new relationship

I've watched this movie many times and I totally agree with you. In the first time, I saw Summer as a villain, but then, unfortunately I had the exactly same experience in my life and I did the same as Summer. It's hard to understand other's point of view, but someday we all will.

I think this was a great breakdown. Thanks for making this video

I sort of remember when this movie came out but had no idea it was a relationship movie; the title sounded like science fiction, so I avoided it. I recently took a walking tour of downtown Los Angeles and the guide couldn't stop talking about the movie and pointing out several of the locations used in the film, including the Continental and Bradbury Building. I finally just watched the movie. It reminded me of my last significant relationship. The guy said everything Summer's character said, he liked me, he didn't want to get serious, let's be friends, he cried when I wanted him to leave me alone since he didn't feel strongly enough to commit, and he kept coming back which made it difficult to break free...the charade, which is what Summer was doing, went on for several months for good reason...I found out later he was married. (He even lied about his age and the number of grown children he had...Yep, a real winner, and he was a high school administrator of all things!) Summer wanted a stand-in until the real thing came along for her; until it did, she didn't understand how Tom felt. As far as other movies, it's kind of milk toast but how about He's Just Not That In To You....

That movie is such a life story, guys. I had been dating my first girlfriend for 5 years. It's been a year since we broke up. The situation is not really the same as in 500 DAYS OF SUMMER and I would even say it differs a lot, but I was all the same romantic about that relationships and prejudiced about it like Tom did. At first my GF was felt the same way. However, I know for sure that after we broke up she got over that easier than me. And all this year I was thinking like WTF? Why is that I still think of her like she was The Only One, while she's already dating another guy and I also had a new GF through this year. And I asked her last month to meet me 'cause I felt I was so lost and I had so many questions on why it ended up like that. And you know what? I was looking at her and I couldn't find anything I was in love with her early on. That was like a completely different person sitting next to me, neither better nor worse. Just... a stranger. I had so many questions to ask before we met but I realised that I simply don't need all the answers anymore. I felt like she made a long way towards things that really matters to her and I just wasted the whole year while she lived her own life. That moment I understood that the real issue was in my own incapability to move forward as a Man rather than a grown up child. And the funny thing is that 500 DAYS OF SUMMER was the first movie we watched together and both of us felt there were something wrong about that. However, 6 years later all of a sudden I decided to watch that film once again and it helped me so much to look at myself from the different perspective.

Wonderful insights. I have watched High Fidelity, but I think I will need to watch it again, now that I am older & have a different outlook on relationships & myself in them. I remember it brought up uncomfortable feelings, which is probably more a reflection of areas I needed to personally work on. I love this segment! Keep it up!

I'm a young man who recently got over a massive crush about half a year ago, and I just watched this movie today and, I was absolutely shocked at how true and how realistic this movie is, pretty much everything that Tom thought and expected, I was easily able to relate to, and I think a lot of, if not most young people are able to relate to this movie on a certain level. I learned my lessons a few months after I got over my Summer, but this movie cleared up a lot of things that I was still not 100% sure of. The lesson I got out of this movie and from my situation was, you have to keep your expectations relatively low when dealing with a crush, if you let your expectations get out of hand and don't think about what the reality of the situation could turn out as, you could easily end up like Tom, depressed, unhappy, unmotivated, feeling hopeless, etc. Great movie, one of the best, smartest, and most realistic coming-of-age-films of this generation. Haven't found my Autumn yet, but I have faith I will!

Duuuuude! Nailed the analysis.

It feels like the more times I grown up and watch this movie, I understand so much more

I am Summer right now, and my soon to be ex-boyfriend is Tom, and he even thinks we will get married. This movie is very, very painfully relevant to me. I told him what I want, for him to get a job and to start preparing for his future, and he can’t get past himself to help himself. He is almost 28 with no job and barely any savings and he still lives with his parents. He has no idea what he wants to do with his life, and his major is useless. He also is becoming an extreme Christian again (he was growing up) bc he thinks that will help him out of his slump, and that God will present him with a job opportunity. I can’t help him any longer. The conversation on the bench that Tom and Summer have fucking stabs at my heart. I still love him and the memories we made together will keep me warm for years and I know he was supposed to be in my life. But he is wrong about me. He was only meant to be in my life for a short time. Sometimes, people are only supposed to be in certain seasons of your life.

You completely nailed this analysis. Great video and I rarely get a chance to say that

I have never been in a relationship. Every single thing you have mentioned is exactly what I felt about the movie. The problem is I couldn't organize my words to describe what I felt. I wish I could be like you in a way to be able to organize my thoughts when I know exactly what I feel about deep stuff. I was angry at Summer until the last few seconds of the movie. Then I began to have a clear perspective. I really think this movie would help me in the future. If I find what I think "The One" I will make sure that she feels the same way I feel about the purpose of relationships and not try to change her thoughts. Because those thoughts are principles and principles do not change. Thank you so much for this video. I watched the movie because of your video earlier today.

Annie Hall is my favorite "rom-com" by far. I plan on watching 500 days of summer soon, but there is a raw realness to Annie Hall that I love and can relate to my last relationship. They are two people that fall in love, have a long term, decent but incredibly stressful relationship (again, I can relate), break up twice, and then go their separate ways, while still remaining somewhat friends. It is an amazing film because it helps you realize that some relationships don't work out, no matter the great moments you may have had with that person, and that's okay.

wattup, Bradley Cooper

Lately I've been trying to figure out when a movie is plot-driven vs. character driven. 500 Days of Summer is definitely character-driven, and it made me realize that I really like character-driven movies. And yes, this one ranks up there as one of my favorites.

There is scene in the movie where Tom's friend is describing the girl of his dreams and he says that 'probably the girl of my dream would have different hair and she would be little more into sports but truthfully Robin is better than the girl of my dreams coz Robin is real.' This scene is everything the major difference between Tom and his friend is that Tom is in love with the idea of summer and he is projecting his romantic ideas on her and Tom's friend on the other hand; he is keeping all his fanaticies aside and loving Robin for who she is.

What always gets me in this movie is that I can't understand Summer. She was indeed honest from the beginning, but after a certain extent it was pretty obvious that Tom had got these strong (and unreal) feelings for her, and although they were extremely unrealistic and she wasn't obliged to meet his expectations at all, I think she could've been more empathetic towards him. I mean, if u know upfront u can't love someone back, just let them go before the disaster is done. She kept being honest but at the same time she was fueling that impossible romance. Idk, it's so messed up, every time I watch this movie I get mixed feelings, but I love it lol

I love this analysis of one of my favorites. Unfortunately, like you touched on, I think it is often misunderstood and the intended message isn't always picked up, which is such a shame. Thank you for this great video.

I totally agree... This movie reminds me so much of High Fidelity too as a breakdown of how men see women and how they project their own wants and desires onto them...

I relate to Summer a lot. I'm extremely upfront about how I don't want to date anyone, but guys I'm friends with choose not to listen. I understand why they may feel I'm sending mixed messages, but I try my best not to. I just don't know how to act properly around guys. When they're all flirty and into the idea of dating anything I do can be interpreted as flirting back.

So true, you interpret differently the movie depending in what stage in life you are and with what you identify yourself. It happened the same to me with the movies "Before sunrise...sunset"

I like that you covered this. It's one of my favourite movies. One thing that I find particularly interesting about it is the Expectation vs. Reality concept and how we get these ideas into our head. We watch all these movies and listen to all these songs that that put ideas in our heads about how people should be then when we finally meet someone we expect them to be like that, but in reality they're not going to be because the these characters that we idolize are just made up and don't actually exist.

I loved this!

my favorite movie also for all the great points you make. watch it about 10 times. the movie helped me a lot.

I saw this movie like 20 times and my go back movie when I want to reflect on what my status ! Good movie.

awesome vid dude

Well said, well said, got to like this video.

So accurate, men sometimes (specially younger men) tend to idealize women, and even some get to think that you are perfect for them without actually getting to know you at all, which is so unrealistic and absurd, and that's why I liked this film so much since the very first time I watched it, and I couldn't understand why people would throw some much shit at Summer, cuz even though she made mistakes, she was as honest as she could be since the very beggining.

i think i have been in both places (Tom's & Summer's). This movie is brutally honest, and it teaches one so much. a great movie

Just saw this movie for the first time ... Man, that hit way to close to home.

oh god I've seen this movie like a hundred times

Sounds interesting. I'll check it out. Thanks!

This is VERY helpful for everyone..so many are tone deaf to the issue of each individual being enfranchised

Hi everyone! The message I got from the end of the movie is different: it's not the traditional "happy ending", autumn is not "the one" at all, not even close. I think that what they are trying to tell us is "hey! life goes on, the cycle continues and this will happen again, what changes is nothing more than ourselves and the way we understand life"

Great video!

We all come into relationships with our own baggage and its wonderful that you have taken the time to understand how you have evolved over the years and applied that to how you experienced the character, his love interest and your own views on love and relationships. The funny part about the word 'devolve' or regression can come from constant struggles in a relationship when neither of your needs are being met. Our expectations, old wounds and experiences shape the context of our viewpoints but if we listen, share and consider each other's feelings and the why's behind it then we get a full understanding. Trust can be depleted as you shared about feeling manipulated and I can definitely relate but projection and isnt the answer, whether that be your fears, deepest desires, dreams etc that aren't reality based, in fact it sets the person up for failure. If neither of you are allowed to be happy due to unrealistic expectations then you both lose.

What I leaned most from 500 Days of Summer is the love can be both amazing and heartbreaking. There is something to learn from every romantic relationship, and everyone comes into your life for a reason. How we long does evolve and change! I'm married, and at some point it all finally makes sense.

I get that summer was upfront but, BUT she could obviously tell how Tom felt and just kept it going until she no longer wanted it to and she could have altogether just called it quits way earlier

Your description of this movie reminds me of the woody Allen movie Whatever Works. If you haven't seen it i highly recommend. I suppose it's technically a romcom, but it's still got some interesting things to say about relationships and life.

So many videos made in KZfaq about this movie because it's so fuckin' great. Joseph and the rest of the gang will be so proud.

Love this segment

A lot of people swing from relationship to relationship. It's really an awful thing to do; not only is it not fair to your current partner, but it's not fair to your new partner, nor to yourself. Like Jon (John?) said, you need time to reflect on your past relationship. I have had friends for over 20 years who were never single. They jumped from one relationship to another. Eventually they hit a wall and they realized that they never had time for themselves to figure out what they really wanted. Men and women do this a lot, though I think that women are more prone to do this. I think they're socialized to believe that their worth as a person has a lot to do with whether or not they have a man in their life. Obviously that is a generalization - and its changing - but it's just something I've noticed. But like I said, I have several guy friends who jumped from one relationship to another for decades. So maybe men and women are equally prone to do this.

I was in 8th grade, and after my girlfriend at the time looks at me and goes I think we need to step back on things. It was the single most destructive blow to my confidence. Good thing though because it put into my head that I shouldn't get emotionally invested to someone who is only going to be a small early segment of your life. Took sometime to learn but it happened.

I remembered my brother telling me he didn’t like this movie - more because he can relate to it and found a lot of similarities with Tom.

Man you are awesome keep going 💙💙💙💙💙