00:00:00 Intro 00:06:04 Who Are Ruby and Jodi? 00:21:39 The 8 Passengers Videos 00:45:14 The Connexions Videos: Principles of Truth and Distortion 01:10:36 Made Up Words 01:45:57 Hating Everyone 01:56:52 The Tiktok Incident 02:14:50 Women, Mothers and Parenting 02:44:32 Lies and Paranoia 02:56:41 Victim Blaming 03:02:41 No Privacy 03:28:39 The Current Situation

Watching her cry over the kids listening to flo rider saying they’re not being protected while knowing she starved and tied up her children with duct tape is insane

I find the idea that kids don't have a right to privacy in the BATHROOM extremely alarming. That's straight up humiliation, possibly sexually violating depending on the circumstances

"Don't feel sorry for (immigrants), they know what they're doing is illegal" Well, considering that Jodi and Ruby knew child abuse was illegal, I'll take her advice and have no sympathy for them :)

The fact that she was upset about the school playing that one part of the song, yet uploaded videos of her daughter shaving for the first time, etc. shows that she doesn’t care about the “safety” of the child, she just wants to control every aspect of the child’s life. Putting that content out on the internet is only inviting child predators to view it. So problematic and disgusting.

She openly talks about the fact that she "punished" her children so much they became numb to it, and tasked herself with devising even more cruel ways to break their spirits. According to her vlogs they had no privacy, no possessions, no friends, yet still she kept taking away what little sources of joy they had. She even treats basic bodily needs like food like a luxury to be earned from her. Its just a disgusting, self-aggrandizing power trip. She enjoyed lording power over her children and making them suffer.

the privacy part really makes me glad for my parents, the other day I got another bookshelf and invited my mom to hang out with me while i organized my books and when i was done and she left she thanked me and i was like for what and she said for inviting her into my private space since I'm a teen and it just made me happy and people like this make me even more grateful for my parents

Ruby is against women/girls dressing up to "get attention for their bodies" - but showers, does her hair and puts on make up before bringing her kid to a hospital

The fact that she talks about how numb they are to her punishments. Because that’s what people do when they are constantly abused, they disassociate.

The pure JOY that monster shows when punishing her kids is disgusting. It’s literally the only time she smiles.

That neighbour who called 911 had such empathy for that boy and what he went through. His weeping cut me deep.

'Don't be transactional' *makes her kids pay or do chores for their stuff back*

You just know Ruby was a Known Entity to every single teacher and admin in that school system.

"You can not be pressured into doing something, you can't. that would rob you of agency and it is not possible to rob a person of their agency" Nice that she chose to be arrested, I am glad she agrees that needed to happen.

A friend of mine was forced into one of those troubled teen wilderness camps. They literally kidnapped him in the night and wouldn't let him speak for weeks or even know where he was. He had to "earn" his ability to talk, shelter, food, etc. He still has PTSD over a decade later.

describing your TODDLERS with "unwillingness to feel sorrow" and saying they've made "egregious choices" is literally insane. thats when they learn sharing and kindness and care and love. refusing to show them care and love doesn't teach them anything. wanting desperately for them to have "a visceral experience" is sickening. she describes her disdain and dislike and abuse of her children vividly and frequently in these videos, its absurd that she wasn't in jail earlier.

That story about the child and the journal , the fact the siblings agreed to try and steal the diary back from the parent kinda speaks a lot about how this mother is.

Ruby breaking down over her child being “introduced to the world” is extremely telling on how parents like this don’t see their children as real, young people that deserve to know and understand the world around them as they become more able to comprehend it, but as pets and accessories to be controlled. She doesn’t want a child who is capable of making their own choices and forming their own opinions, she wants a child that she can control until they turn eighteen, upon which she will grow disinterested and force them to fend for themselves in a world she didn’t prepare them for. Absolutely disgusting human garbage.

How freakish to say that your young child has not “ repented” for their “ vile behavior”. Also very telling that they took the original punishment of cleaning the floors and had good attitudes about it and that wasn’t enough for her because it didn’t hurt them enough. That to me shows it’s not about correcting their behavior and is just her needing to hurt her children for her own sick pleasure.

As a philologist, I'm so irritated at their use of language. "This is a made up word.." lady all words are made up. Language is a fucking ever-evolving construct. And that poor principal, I feel for her, and I know what her smiling through this was like. Dealing with crazy parents is one of the worst aspects of being an educator, she's probably so tired of this shit. I sincerely hope they won't give the kids back to this absolute monster and her hideous cultist enabler.

notice how scared her kids were to say anything around her, in fear of getting punished. it’s sad what these poor kids had to go through for so long and nothing was done about it. people like ruby and kevin don’t deserve children, they only want them to feel in control and have dominance over them, it’s genuinely sad and disgusting i feel horrible for them all.

I don't know what scares me more. The horrific child abuse or the fact that Ruby and Jodi were dangerously close to starting a real cult. Not only were their kids in danger, they were putting countless other children in danger with "Connextions". I hope they're both charged to the fullest extent of the law and they get to know their cell mates REALLY well

Them describing controlling behavior is the most severe case of projection I’ve ever seen

God, even without the actual abuse, think of the nightmare of being this woman's kids. Never a moment of calm, freely given affection, acceptance, fun or relaxation. Constant rules, accusation, lecturing, double speak, criticism, intrusion. The emtional noise of living in that house must have been deafening.

them reading out the messages between their child and some girl he likes to embarrass him & laughing at him in front of the whole family AND ON CAMERA is so horrifying and heartbreaking. these poor children. this behavior is genuinely so disgusting and it makes me want to cry.

I believe one of the items in that bag of the kids possessions they had to earn back, was Chad's homework for school. And then I believe they punished him for bad grades

I love that while a bunch of commentary channels are covering this, Rachel sets herself apart by really breaking down the language and harmful patterns over time. This goes so much more in depth and isn't just a repeat of what others are saying but rather takes that and adds to the conversation. It's well-researched and thought out. The video didn't feel more repetitive than needed despite being so long. Thank you for your work on this, it really was so insightful.

Jodi and Ruby's combined sense of entitlement remind me of this version of the quote the Dad says in (the 1996 version of) Matilda: "I'm smart, you're dumb. I'm big, you're little. I'm right, you're wrong-- and there's nothing you can do about it." This is how they act and think, people who act like this are so resistant to the idea that they could be wrong, or even the chance something won't go their way, that they (ironically) ignore *the truth:* that their selfish actions have hurt people that they were supposed to protect and care for, and that their consequences are well deserved and can't be dodged this time.

Jodi: "You cant tell if a kid is going to be gay, bc no one is born gay. It's your choice to project that perspective onto them, and it's a choice they also make, but no one's inherently gay." Also Jodi: proceeds to project her take and feelings toward trans ppl., as if she could understand; "You cant say you 'feel' like you're in the wrong body. I feel things all the time, and theyre mostly reamatic and wrong!"

So according to them, A child can make distorted decisions as early as newborn A child can not have privacy A child is fine without food A child can not interact with people the mom doesn't know or approve of A child can't joke around with siblings or they'll be punished A child does not need their own room Threats of harm to the children or what they care about is fine A child is not allowed to choose their clothes Love is conditional Everything is a choice (except for what is "normal") Words do not mean anything unless it is what they want them to mean A child is not owed ANYTHING ...and yet, children are "a gift" and should under no circumstances not be born through a forced pregnancy. So they basically think children should be puppets or mindless slaves.

Something that stood out to me was how both Ruby and Jodi's facial expressions and tone of voice become super angry and hostile when they are discussing even a hypothetical situation of a child acting in "distortion"... literally the idea of a child acting out age appropriate behaviors makes them angry and I think that is incredibly telling.

So much appreciation for the care, dedication, and sensitivity Rachel puts into this content

any time my kids were misbehaving i would ask myself two questions immediately and those were “are they hungry” or “are they tired”? 9 times out of 10 it was one of those 2 things. if she is witholding food and sleep or depriving them of good sleep by taking away their beds or making them sleep on a floor somewhere she is making her own problems. also, if the kids did not run around outside with friends to get their energy out they were probably needing an outlet for that. if they are play wrestling i see that as a good thing as long as they were having fun. she seemed to just need total control of the kids. i hope these kids get a lot of therapy and are able to live the happy life they deserve. it is ironic that ruby will be in jail where she will have zero control of her life and that makes me smile an evil smile.

I’m introverted and the idea of not having my own space (and with it the freedom to eat when I need, journal, use the internet) is seriously one of the scariest living situations I can’t imagine. Going to bed hungry and emotionally scarred on a beanbag in the middle of the house where your abusive family can enter at any moment to hurt you more…Ruby and Jodi need to lose their right to privacy and freedom

Ableism is a chronic problem in the Mormon faith. Their ableist language is the language I heard throughout my childhood. It is this kind of culture that caused my Mormon mother to refuse to get my brother and me evaluated for Autism when our teachers suggested it. She didn't want the label to hurt us within the society we lived in. You know autism is a likely diagnosis when a teacher wanted a girl to be evaluated for it in 1989. My brother and I spent decades not understand what made us so different from our peers because of the fear.

Thank you for making this video. It took me a week to get through it all, but it felt cathartic to see that abuse is not the victims fault. I deal with my own trauma and there is always the thought that "I caused how I was treated". After another hurtful comment by a family member last week I needed the assurance of a video like this. My whole heart goes out to the children who suffered so much and I hope that they will get through this one day. It will be a long and painful way till they even start to heal, but I hope they find out about all the support and love that they get on the internet. Maybe one day when they are older they can understand that nobody except for these terrible people thought it was the right thing to do. I hope that parents who sought out help from them get looked at closely by law enforcement. It is not only these two, it was a community who had no problem with adapting these wild theories. Maybe the children can leave their past behind one day in the future. The 8 passengers' children (I don't want to use the name of the mother. She lost the privilege to a name.) and all the children who may experienced trauma because their parents followed the teachings. Thank you again for making this video. It isn't only informing about the terrible things that happens, but I am sure it also helps others than me to heal a little bit more. Your love and compassion has a bigger impact than you may know.

I admit I had a good laugh when they spoke about never having sex and never feeling sexual arousal being OK. Congratulations Jodi, you learned the definition of Asexuality, now try to learn the word AND place it in the A of LGBTQIA+

I can't help but notice the way she's always smiling whenever she talks about giving her children 'visceral, tactile, physical' experiences. This woman clearly enjoys abusing her children and then rationalizing it as moral superiority, and it's incredibly disturbing.

Children aren't going to understand the idea of "What mommy and daddy are doing isn't abusive, it's discipline--that's why we're allowed to do it to you but no one else!" Children are going to generalize that and believe it's totally acceptable for someone to hurt them, humiliate them in the name of "love" etc.

i think its telling that she confidently said that her kids were numb to the punishments. she has basically admitted that her punishments DONT work, but she proudly decides to instead make the punishments even more "visceral", a word she literally said verbatim. its the fact that she can actively see her punishments DONT work that make it obvious shes not doing this to "teach" her kids, shes doing this because she likes to see her kids in pain and she likes to see them suffer. if she refused to admit her punishments didnt work, i mightve been on the fence with how she really feels, but seeing her verbally admit that her kids are numb to the punishments solidified it for me. she is doing this SPECIFICALLY to torture the kids

i grew up a fundamentalist baptist christian and the way religion HATES anything that gives you joy other than god, that makes possessions '"worthless". my parents treated mine and my siblings objects this way as well when we were in the church. id leave home to go to my grandmothers and come back to a bunch of my belongings trashed or "put away" but not where id like it (im autistic so this was very hard for me)

the way the neighbor who called 911 started crying when inspecting the child for injuries just absolutely confirms to me how awful the abuse truly was. i feel so sorry for those kids and i hope they are safe from now on.

I grew up with a mom a lot like her and my spidey senses are going off like crazy over the pineapple story. She obsessively makes this huge deal about how the kids aren’t allowed to go into the kitchen under any circumstances while she goes to take a nap and then she’s licking the floor looking for evidence they didn’t follow her instructions? She says she told them before she went upstairs that she’d feed them as soon as she came down. Why would she need to clarify that? Had they not eaten lunch? How did she know food was going to be an issue if she laid down for an hour and that the kids needed to be reassured that food was coming? I bet those kids were hungry because maybe they were already being punished for something else and not allowed to eat. She drills into them that they’re not allowed to go in the kitchen and then goes to “take a nap”. From my own experience, I feel like she was in a mood and was setting up the kids for failure. She didn’t go take a nap. She left them alone and hungry, to break the rule so that she could come back and punish them some more. When she came back and saw they had actually obeyed her instructions, she was so fixated she resorted to licking the floor trying to find proof that they didn’t. She calls them in there and berates them until one of them finally breaks and “confesses” just to end the interrogation, bring on the punishment and get the whole thing to stop.

As a recent MA English grad/current English & composition professor I absolutely LOVE that you referenced Stuart Hall and Kimberlé Crenshaw. I’ve watched a lot of these 8 Passengers/Connexions breakdown videos but yours is one of the first I’ve seen that goes beyond showing the same five or so viral clips and instead actually analyzes what these crazies are saying and why it is so harmful to perpetuate. Absolutely subscribing ☺️

Another thing that's been really freaking me out while watching the clips of Ruby and Jodi talking about whichever children and issues they're currently discussing is that they use such strong, negative words. They talk about the child manipulating, being entitled, being selfish, being destructive... just the amount of sheer malice that they ascribe to these children is baffling, as if they're some evil mastermind intentionally hurting their parents. And it's for so many minor issues too. I have no experience with raising children or anything, but I'm pretty sure that most children, including teenagers, aren't this devious or malicious. It makes me feel like they're projecting this image of some kind of evil, adult person onto these children and it's so wrong

obsessed with the fact that jodi didn't know that all caps was universally understood to mean that someone is yelling. It's not even a new concept, it literally started before the internet in the 80s

I may have yelled, “ALL WORDS ARE MADE UP!” multiple times at this video. Dear lord. The way those women change the definitions of words like “controlling” so that they can say “we’re completely against controlling parenting!” while teaching parents to control every millisecond of their child’s life!

What's used to infuriate me the most (there is worse now) is how she kept filming while her kids are telling her that they can't maintain friendships because of the channel and she thanks them for being vulnerable because she is so consumed by her own “PATTERNS OF SELFISHNESS” that she doesn't get that they're telling the camera she’s the problem

30:00 Okay, my heart would BREAK if my son, or any child for that matter, would tell me he has no friends with that much sadness in his voice. Ruby however seemed to see it as some juicy content for their horrible vlogs?! My god, the amount of therapy these kids are going to need. And now she’s trying to save HER ass by accusing this boy of sa. A tactic that she learned from creepy Jodi, who also did this to clients who dared to not commit to her reign of terror. I hope they both never get out of prison and if they do, I hope they’ll both be ancient by then and have no kid willing to take care of their old asses.

What I find so extremely disturbing, is how comfortable Ruby was about filming and posting videos of her abusing her kids. Imagine all the things she did that she was _not_ comfortable showing the outside world!

This mentality that "you're kid is always guilty of something and on their path to sin and a horrible life" is SO dangerous.

2:50:12 this whole segment is such good advice to any parent. When I was growing up, I knew a lot of sheltered kids. Since they never got exposed to anything (sex ed, anything their parents deemed “immoral” and inappropriate, etc.), they went completely wild the moment they got thrown into the adult world. One was a close friend of mine when we were toddlers, now she’s catching STDs and partying daily through college and her mom is none the wiser due to the distance and amount of lying her daughter does. All this sheltered parenting does is teach your kids not to trust you and how to lie to you, and it leaves them completely overwhelmed when they become adults and get exposed to a whole lot of things at once. It seems pretty reasonable that someone that’s freshly an adult having never experienced/witnessed the real, not sanitized, world before would freak out. No one has ever gradually introduced them to things and explained them, so they’re left with very little to go on.

The more I hear them using these vague blanket terms “truth” and “distortion,” the more I’m reminded of Newspeak from 1984: meaningless words pressed into wide use to replace ones that have actual and specific meanings.

My only question for Ruby is - if you hate your kids so much, why did you have 6 of them? Why did you even have 1 child? This is not how a parent shows love to their children, this is how a tyrant rules over a household

As a daughter whose mother was very similar to Ruby (minus the duct tape only, tbh), it hurts so much to watch what happened here. I think I was in denial that my mom really was abusive, but watching Ruby say the things she did, when I’ve heard my own mom say nearly identical things - it was like a lightbulb went off that what I experienced REALLY WAS ABUSE. 😓

If a child lies to you, it could be because they don’t feel safe to tell you the truth they don’t trust you enough. t That kid was obviously scared of what would happen if his mom found out that he spilled some juice and honestly he’s super responsible for cleaning it up at the age of three most three year old will just be like “mom I spilled some juice” and then leave and have you clean it. Which is fine because they’re like three but it’s still good to learn responsibility at a young age.

“Two year olds make everything about themselves.” Yes, Ruby, because they’re TWO!!! And no, I’m not writing “two” like just to emphasise it, I’m writing like that, because I’m shouting, cuz this grown woman, who has given birth to 6 children, doesn’t understand why toddlers are the most selfish beings on the planet and that they also are allowed to be selfish, cuz that’s how we’ve evolved to survive long enough to have the ability to take care of our own needs and the needs of others. It is literally an instinct meant to keep children alive, that’s why they cry when they’re upset or uncomfortable! They can’t fix it themselves, so they need to ask others to fix it for them! The fact that at 3 years old, her son was able to go “I messed up, I need to clean this or it will have consequences” is so telling, and it is not a good story!

Interesting how they scold a parent for confiscating a laptop after the child gets drunk. Ruby says “the laptop isn’t the problem”. Then why did ruby take her child’s room away after he pranked his brother? The room wasn’t the problem??

My heart goes out to the 12 year old boy who was publicly humiliated by his mother in a transparent attempt to deflect blame from herself onto her son. If a 3 year old child is watching porn it's the parents fault!

She keeps saying “ Kevin and I” he is as guilty as her. He needs to be in prison. They are both disgusting narcissist 🤢🤮

My mom used to be psycho controlling like Ruby but all it took was for me to snap one day and yell back at her spilling the beans of how suicidal she was making me and how much I hated everything. Then she changed to be wayyyy more calm after, still having her moments but not like before.

the way Ruby always laughs when she talks about the harmful things she has done makes me sick.. she even laughs when the children are speaking out about the things that are bothering them like having no friends or the Chad bedroom situation

For the mom who removed her child’s bedroom door: the only things you are teaching your child is to be better at lying, never trust or respect you, and look for love and trust elsewhere. You’re putting your kid in immense amount of danger. They now can be easily manipulated and groomed by predators and abusers. They will look for validation outside of their home, which is supposed to be their safe place, and will become an easy target. Get family and individual therapy before you completely ruin your relationship with your child and f*ck up their life.

I thought I'd seen it all, but then we hit about the 30 minute mark when they *read their child's texts out loud on camera* and *openly mock* him for innocently flirting with a peer, and *then* proceed to interrogate him like he's in Big Trouble. That would be monstrous even *if* cameras weren't rolling! In my opinion, family vlogging incentivizes the worst tendencies in the families who partake in it, and a particular sort of controlling, selfish, narcissistic parent will be inherently drawn to it like a moth to a flame. In the end, it's the kids who suffer. Also: I dunno, but I don't think gifting her chronically-abused children with an assortment of knives is the cute little flex she thinks it is. I won't purport to be a body language specialist or a pro people-reader, but Ruby Franke makes my amygdala scream. She radiates this tense, seethingly-angry energy, like she's always one forgotten Splenda packet away from just going at the waitress like a rabid spider monkey. Even when she's smiling or laughing, her eyes are still piercing, cold, and angry, and her favorite emotion seems to be triumphant smugness. The closest she ever comes to looking even remotely happy and content is when she's visibly crushing on Jodi Hildebrandt. Re: 2:30:11, how these women twist developmental psych knowledge to justify abusing and manipulating children in even more precisely-targeted ways is absolutely grotesque. With all their big talk about responsibility, consequences, and making the right choices, I hope they're fully enjoying the current consequences of their choices!

Just found your channel and subscribed. This is such a thorough coverage of those involved in this case. Good job! It’s shocking how Ruby cannot hide her excitement when talking about her harsh punishments of her kids.

The whole thing about punishing the youngest kids by not giving them anything for Christmas is something I’ve seen mentioned a lot and I just realized an element of it that had been flying over my head. Ruby says that she told the kids that *Santa would not be visiting them* ie these are kids young and innocent enough to believe in Santa. There is *nothing* a child that age could do short of an actual crime that could make it right to be that mean to them. For a small child, watching how everyone else gets gifts and you don’t is torture. What a cruel, vile woman.

I know this is off topic, but I absolutely sobbed when Rachel said that you can’t put yourself in the position to be raped; that it is always the rapists fault. There is so much grace I have never given myself.

Oh my lord. That video of her taking an hour shower before taking her kid to the hospital triggered me so badly because i nearly died after having a severe issue with my heart after not sleeping for three days with severe anxiety and i was terrified that if i fell asleep i would die. My mother got very upset that i was ruining her day. I sat on the couch nearly passed out while she took 45 minutes to blow dry her hair. She said the entire time i was imagining it. It was so severe when i finally got to the hospital that they had to give me major tranquilizers and it didn't even take my heart rate down to normal. Blurry vison is a serious problem and a symptom of many major illnesses.

36:16 I got chills, she says her youngest two kids are numb and in the same breath that she wants them to experience pain... im like wtf no wonder they're number, they're probably freaking traumatized

I think the reason it seems like Ruby escalated with the two youngest children is probably because of the eldest kids moving out and going to school and no longer updating their social medias. She must have felt a loss of control so she became more and more extreme with the younger ones so they would not “stray” I.e resist her control, and unlike the older children who she could no longer legally exert her control over, those poor babies couldn’t fight back. The boy was so brave managing to escape and find help, who could know the fear of being caught he must have felt.

The privacy stuff is especially baffling to me. I was the type of kid who hid my journals from my mom out of fear of her reaction. Or, even worse, I’d make decoy journals in hopes she would read fake stuff kissing up to her and not snoop further. Now that I have kids, I’ve always highly prioritized their privacy and autonomy, and the fact that their possessions are theirs to decide what to do with, not mine in any way. Just before summer ended for school my daughter asked me to hold onto her journal for her to make sure her brother didn’t read it, I was quick to thank her for trusting me and promised I wouldn’t look at a single page, and I felt so happy and proud when she said back like “you don’t have to say that mom, I know you would never look at my journal, that’s why I trust you with it.” 🥺❤️

3:00:18 i was four years old helping the church greeter print copies of the hymns we would be singing in worship service. i was four years old wearing a little sundress, my hair in tiny pigtails, and my feet in tiny sandals. i was four years old helping a man who i trusted because he was a man of god who enjoyed my help. but yeah… it was my fault, right ruby? i was four years old, i couldn't even read the hymns we sang but i still belted my little heart out to praise a god who didn't protect me in his own house. i was four years old, i scribbled in my mom's bible with unintelligible lines that i claimed were the words "i love you." what did i do to put myself in that situation? was it because i woke up at 6:00 am on a sunday because i was so excited for church that i went early with my father to help him prepare his sermon. was it because i snuck little sips of the grape juice that i didn't know was meant for communion? was it because i would jump across the pews singing to myself while the worship band was warming up? i put myself in that situation. i mean, i must have wanted it right? why else would a little girl go down into the church's basement with the greeter to print out the hymnal guides? i obviously seduced him by showing off my legs that were so small i couldn't touch the ground when sitting in a church pew. it was my fault. and it was sick of my to celebrate with my family and pop a bottle of champagne when he kicked the bucket, wasn't it?

Rachel, you are so good! You lay the case out so well. The content is superior. I can only watch snippets at a time.

The way that she treats her children is genuinely disgusting to me. I'm very glad that they were taken away from her and that she's been arrested.

as a lesbian, Jodi thinking cisgender means heterosexual is unintentionally hilarious

I couldn't watch this in one sitting - Rachel you did a great job documenting the situation and I support the points you make. Nonetheless, the behavior of Jody and Ruby is so triggering- Ruby is scary but Jody - she triggered a deep fear reaction in me she is terrifying. Yet I wonder how the cogs in the universe turned to bring these two people together. I just hope the children will get the love and support they deserve ❤️

I'm sure I'll have 100 comments, but the one that really gets me is the emergency room visit that she is getting showered for. Vision impairment is nothing to wait on, whatever the cause could incure permanent damage! The emergency room is for an emergency! The last time I had to go to the er, my son, 15, was cleaning his room and picked up a glass, squeezed too hard and it shattered in his palm! We went to the bathroom to wash it out. Once I noticed squirting blood and fat hanging out we wrapped his hands tight and took off to the er!!! It's a mile away and I knew I could get him there faster than an ambulance! I was in summer cleaning clothes with my hair in a clip and slides for shoes! I looked a mess, but my children come before my looks!!! Geesh that's like parenting 101

3:10:57 My mom (who has apologized sincerely since) had this mentality of "my roof, my rules" to the extent that she told me that my room and my clothes and my everything belonged to her, not me. And because of that, I moved out at 18 and got my own space and she couldn't fathom why until this year.

These examples of "controlling" behavior give me serious narcissist vibes. My own mother once told me she thought I was being "controlling" and "manipulative" when I "disobeyed" her by being physically too ill to do what she wanted. She said it in family therapy, and the therapist let it slide (Don't go to therapy with your abusers, kids. It just teaches them your weak points to hammer in private.)

An idea I have heard about unconcious bias/immediate reactions that I found helpful, is that your first thought is what your society has taught you, your second thought reflects your acctual values. For example, seeing a person in a revealing outfit, and thinking, "they shouldn't wear that." Your second thought might be, "why did i think that, they should be able to wear whatever they want (as long as it doesnt hurt anybody)." The first thought was what negative biases we have been taught by society/external sources beyond our control. The second thought is the believe that you have actively chosen to believe and learn.

Hearing them justify ruby’s anger about the song as “she may have looked like she was angry and controlling but actually the people calling her that are the controlling ones” and ruby saying “classic gaslighting” makes me wonder if they have any brain cells left or if it’s just the words “truth” and “distortion” on crumpled, discoloured pieces of paper

I can’t believe she said her and her husband’s gift to their children was “their love.” Implying that their love for their children is not only conditional, but that prior to the “gift” they were not loving their children. How abhorrent, to punish your children for your own faults as a parent, and to withhold love and understanding and _safety_ I don’t expect parents to be flawless- parenting is really, really hard sometimes, and it’s constant- but I think the bare minimum is acting in such a way that they feel they can talk to you comfortably. Even if they perhaps can’t provide a physically safe environment, or can’t always get good food on the table, a parent should not be an enemy to their own child.

I don't want to speculate too much, because I obviously don't know anything about the specifics of the situation, but for me the revelation of the extent of the abuse these kids have suffered, and specifically the limitation on freedom, immediately recast the 8 Passengers story about Chad being forced to sleep in the bathroom. It makes me question whether "I told him we were going to Disneyland" was legitimately a prank, or the best excuse a frightened teenager could come up with for why he and his brother were outside with a packed bag in the middle of the night, in a household where their movements and actions are tightly surveilled and controlled. Like it's hard to not question that under the circumstances.

2:31:31 Children eating the food inside the house is not stealing! If a parent would prefer that the child grab something healthy for a snack, then it's the parent's responsibility to teach the child healthy eating choices, make the healthy snacks easily accessible.

I have had to take many breaks, just from everytime Jodi would speak. They claim they are being gaslit, but wholly hell they are so delusional their idea of immoral gaslighting is just a normal conversation!! Meanwhile they advocate abusing their kids- I commend you Rachel for listening too and breaking down their nonsense. I couldn't get through it in the same timeline without losing my mind.

the part of privacy really hit home for me. i was never permitted privacy as a child or teenager. no secrets. no diaries. no hiding anything. i was allowed nothing. that led me, at 19, to marry the first man who gave me the time of day in an attempt to get out and gain the independence and privacy i was never allowed to have. . im a lesbian. its 6 years later. im going throguh a divorce and starting from scratch. i hurt my own life. i hurt his life. because i was so hurt by my lack of freedom and privacy. privacy is very very important to kids.

My husband was an elementary school teacher in Utah. He used the same "numb" descriptor with some kids that he worked with, that were some of the worst-behaved--and he could tell that they were used to being screamed at, beaten, and getting tied up. We both grew up Mormon and saw the "honor your mother and father" commandment used to an extreme.

Every time those two horrible people start talking, there’s something that just rips at my very soul. I hope those kids are able to heal and receive real love from their guardians.

The way ruby acts towards her daughters in those clips with the dresses reminded me so much if my mom, like disgustingly so, but the difference there is that I was allowed to not be around her and I had stuff like a phone and my iPad and such, and I was allowed to close my door and get away from my mom most of the time, but with ruby- i imagine if these girls walked off and closed themselves in their rooms just bad stuff would happen to them. And that’s horrifying to think about, I couldn’t Imagine being forced to be around my mom, so seeing those clips like, made me feel really sick, I’m glad ruby is going to jail and I hope she never gets to see those kids again.

it’s so disgusting how this ideology she holds places her, the parent, as victim in any and every interaction with her child. It’s like she’s subconsciously searching for reasons to demean and violate them

Its ironic how these 2 ladies actually embody a lot of the behaviors they say are bad. I feel so bad for the son she is trying to “blame” this all on. That is the ultimate abuse… even after he has been removed from her custody she is still finding a way to hurt and abuse him.

The manipulation of the whole " I said these words but you don't know MY meaning of those words" is literally how my mother operates. The mental gymnastics it takes is ridiculous and it's just a way to get out of taking responsibility for bad behavior

Rachel, you do an excellent job in this video essay. Your narration is crisp and clear, your points very well laid out, no technical jargon is included, so that the layman can understand and access your point immediately. Add on to that, the fact that I can feel your intelligence through this piece, and I am coloured quite impressed. Plus, you are extremely well read, absolutely stunning in looks and your editing skills are masterful. You have a way of expressing yourself that is highly engaging, blending facts, information and some light humour in places, which works extremely well. Although you didn't need me to tell you that, thought I'd drop a note saying so anyway. You are a very good role model for today's children and young folk, whether cisgender, trans, or non-binary, as well as those who are neurodivergent. It can be incredibly hard for some neurodivergent people to express themselves, especially on spoken or visual media. Seeing you do so well, so confidently, whilst openly speaking on that condition, is going to be very inspiring for those who may be struggling quite a bit. You also remain respectful on topics which are absolutely abhorrent, and highly emotive. I very much like seeing the nods to your personality in the background, as well as you being willing to leave in edits things like being waylaid by your canine over-lady (I have an elderly rescue cat, who is much more clingy than your lady there), it is heart warming to see. You are the perfect counterbalance to this subject, which is absolutely harrowing, what those kids were put through. I also appreciate you explaining some terms like microaggression, and unconscious bias. I am older, and I did not know what those terms meant a few years ago. As adults are supposed to do, I educated myself, and I appreciate you putting in links and sign posting for those who want to learn more. Frankly, seeing how those two women wrapped up their hatefulness and manipulative techniques in 'God's word', is just.. offensive. I am not religious, but I know enough to say that if they were proper adherents to God's law, they would have been much more humble, and never ever assumed that they could tell others how to behave. In my mind, Christianity is about acceptance, guiding others, and being selfless as much as is possible. They wouldn't know Truth if it bit them in the arse. The more I hear of them, the more I loathe them, as their souls, if one believes in such things, must be rotten as hell. What irritates me more, is that neither of them were true believers. They simply paid lip service to it, as long as the money kept coming in, and they kept control on the situation. They are a perfect example of doublethink. The abuse they implemented to those poor children, breaks my heart. It is disgraceful, and I hope that they receive proper custodial sentences, and spend a long time in jail.

The cognitive dissonance between listening to her judge other parents while she was actively abusing her child is mind boggling

One of our sons bought and took some pills and ended up in the hospital. In that case, we did go in and take apart his room to see if there were more pills. That was to keep him safe. We didn't take his door, or make him sleep in the living room. We did find a few more pills, and I'm glad we found them and got rid of them. There are extreme cases where you might need to "invade" their privacy, but they are extreme.

im always so glad to have grown up where the only form of filming/cameras i experienced as a kid were short little home movies we took on holidays. i cant imagine the trauma being filmed 24/7 and brodcasted to millions of strangers would do to the mind, let alone the mind of a developing child. these kids were given no chances to experience a normal life and i cant imagine how hard deprogramming from this will be. those kids were truly failed by everyone.

Ruby, ma’am, during my teenage years I would dress up all skimpy, I would go to bars, I would try all sorts of substances with all sorts of strangers, my parents didn’t know where I was half the time, yet I still turned out completely fine. I’m in medical school now, I volunteer with sick children and old people, I would consider myself a decent human being and most importantly, unlike someone, I’ve never been incarcerated. Kids and teenagers go through changes, they wanna explore and experiment, it’s just natural thing. There’s no reason to punish your children for these things, instead make sure they’re safe doing so and that they can tell you everything without being judged or punished.

Commenter: My 3 year old said she was thirsty so I got her a glass of water is that ok? These guys: Absolutely NOT! She is MANIPULATING you by GASLIGHTING you into thinking you OWE her YOUR resources. As a child, she has NO RIGHT to the water which is YOURS. This is being controlling. An appropriate punishment for such an offense would be to not let her have any water for a day so she gets the VISCERAL EXPERIENCE of understanding your kindness of allowing her to have that water.

What’s scary is that there are thousands of moms (parents) who actually believed in these teachings and inflicted this psychological abuse onto their children. Let alone what Jodi was doing to LDS marriages. God help those families.

You telling a grown person to not lick an unknown substance from the floor is something I did not expect to hear ... but also like it's way too funny