We'd love to hear from our fellow queer couples - how do you do it? Do you only travel to places together that are known to LGBTQ+ friendly? If you do travel to places that aren't necessarily accepting, do you "censor" yourself/don't disclose you're a couple, or are you or unapologetic selves and hope for the best?

Alexis, could you do some outfit/style related videos? On thrifting, matching, whatever - your looks are seriously amazing every.single.time.

Seriously that shot of Alexis dancing was breathtaking. And Lillian, your platinum short hair is lovely and absolutely perfect on you.

You were in Saudi Arabia for two hours !!!!! If I know, i would bring you Saudi coffee and Saudi dates ): At 4:28 as a Saudi lesbian unfortunately this is what I have been living with my girlfriend for the rest of my life💔, Although the place here is not safe the LGBTQ community, there are many of us who are not allowed to reveal our truth, but there are beautiful places in Saudi Arabia such as mountains, sun , desert and sand that will appeal to you , i love you all and have been following your videos for your 🤍🤍

that shot at 2:29 of Alexis dancing looked like a shot from a movie! i’m a cis woman with short hair like Lilian. I get called sir every time i go to the airport. and then also in the plane it happens frequently, when it’s dark and the flight attendants aren’t looking closely at me. It doesn’t bother me, per se, i think it’s sad tho how quickly we make snap assessments of people based on strict guidelines (ie. short hair, no dress, no makeup = male at first glance.) I was in Vietnam recently got mistaken for a man more times than on any other trip. It’s kind of awkward to be sent to the wrong bathroom multiple times when you ask a waiter where it is and stuff like that. But on the other hand I got called a handsome guy by a taxi driver which was kinda flattering lmao.

I am an Indian and I have lived my whole life here. I am a college student. There are different kinds of people here. I have come out as a bi person to many people and I am glad that they aren't treating me in a different way for that. My class has 50 boys and 3 girls(Mechanical engineering lol). So basically I accompany my guy friends and admire people. We sometimes do it together lol it is fun... Before coming out, I just make sure that they aren't phobic. IK many LGBT people in my college and we vibe really well. Most of our faculty members aren't very LGBT-friendly. Some are really phobic but when it comes to students, we do find some allies so it is not that bad here. Gen Z in India is comparatively understanding and accepting changes. It is also a good thing to note that section 377 of our Indian constitution has been removed in the year 2018 so being a part of this community isn't very threatening as it used to be. Also, India is working on legalizing same-sex marriage. this may take decades but yea I see some change here... It is really chill in the main cities though.

Important topic you are adressing here. My wife and I have 3 children and we were travelling a lot with them lately. We would never travel to a country where it is not safe to be publicly open about our sexuality. It‘s just not possible to hide it with the kids.

Queer Saudi here and it is a struggle

You and Lillian are top tier couple goals. These are some very helpful tips.

KZfaq: Alexis and Lilian uploaded Me: Stop what I'm doing. Make a cup of tea. Lie in bed. Wrap myself with my blanket and watch A&L. 🍄💜✨🌵🏡🐼

I'm a 55-year old lesbian who came out when I was 16, back in 1984. It was NOT safe back then so you had to be careful who you told. We did make the decision (when we felt safe to do so) to allow ourselves to hold hands, etc. so that others could see that we were gay. We felt a responsibility and a duty to do so. We did that because we craved it ourselves and knew how important it was to be seen authentically. Back then, we NEVER EVER saw ourselves anywhere, not on TV, movies, out in the world and there was no internet. So it was literally a deep craving to see gay people and when we saw them, for example, at early gay pride events (I moved back to Houston after high school so I could at least go to the Montrose area and see gay people in the night clubs), it was mesmerizing. I can't explain how utterly important and moving it was to see. But you never saw LGB people (it was just lesbian, gay, bi back then) in the normal world. So we very bravely would allow ourselves to show our affection a little so that we could let our LGB brothers and sisters know that they were not alone. I think that would have been especially INCREDIBLY valuable for closeted LGBTQ people in India and Saudia Arabia to see you two. If you ever are on the fence on whether or not to do it, if you feel safe, then I think it is immensely beneficial. When you are yourself, you give other people permission to be themselves too. It can literally make a closeted person cry with bittersweet relief to know they are not alone. Things are so different now in the West but I remember when it was not like this and I can only assume it is at least that difficult in those more conservative countries. I wish I could hug all the closeted LGBTQ people around the world and let them know we are here and we love them.

Always so happy to see your posts! It must be so difficult at times for you, when really it's no one's business. Stay safe tho at all costs! Some countries obviously don't just frown on your life choices. Sad fact 😞

As a trans nonbinary person I would absolutely not travel to any country that's not safe for me, especially because I don't really have the option of hiding my queerness

As indian i am glad to know you that you guys traveled to india As indian lesbisn girl i would Say it's really hard to be part of LGBTQ in india , it's ok to be gay in india but people are not so accepting and as indian i also Don't feel good about it some NGOs and Member of LGBTQ are fighting to legalize same sex marriage in india . Let's see how it's goes in future , People rarely disclose their identity they can't tell everyone if They aren't stright i myself going though all this , lots of LGBTQ people In india move to abroad to live peacefull life.

Love you guys so much!! I am with you on all of these points on the internal conflict between your morals, feeling safe and paving the way in other countries! The struggle is real!

My wife and I would never travel to a country where it is illegal for people to be gay. We will not risk our freedom, but even in countries where it is legal/accepted, we will lie about our relationship if we feel unsafe.

Is Alexis a dancer?! Omg, the spins on the roof were AMAZING ❤️😍❤️ Did you study modern dance? Please make some dance videos! 🙏🙏

I only travel in areas where I feel safe. You should be extremely careful in places like Saudi Arabia

your content is the best! can't wait for your upcoming uploads and adventures! 💛💛

I'm traveling to Rome next week, with a stop over in Dubai, and i haven't travelled since before Covid. Even though I have been to Italy before, and had stop overs in Dubai, I'm doing a lot more touristy stuff in Italy this time as i am there longer, and will likely be spending more time alone than usual, so I'm glad for this video.

as a queer couple, me and my girlfriend don't cencor ourselves even though we live in İstanbul/Turkey. You may thought it's risky not to hide especially in this country but people have a positive discrimination when it comes to lesbians. We only get some weird, judging sights from religious part of the people. If there were other kind of lgbtq people, I bet they won't be easily accepted by the public. We come to this life once; we just wanna be ourselves. I hope some day the world will become safer for all lgbtq people ❤

Imagine that lol 😅 I also think it’s so helpful to travel with friends, especially from the country you’re traveling in. They’re so helpful when it comes to navigating different languages and cultures.

I cant wait for the India vlog ❤

When I went to India, my amazing tour guide shared their sexuality that is very vilified there. They ended up moving out of the country so they could live a free and authentic life- got married to their now partner and have kids. Unfortunately their mother condemned it and that relationship has been strained to say the least. It was incredibly eye opening, heart wrenching and inspiring to witness their path.

I love love love the shot of Lillian looking up at the hawa Mahal at 2:34. Can't wait to see more of your india adventures. And sorry from my side if people were homophobic or discriminatory in any way. Most would have done so unknowingly and not out of cruelty.

It's a tough subject but u cover all the tricky bases so well..Safety a priority..! Lillian's hair is banging ..!!

Thank you for your thoughts and insights which I really appreciate. I never travel to countries that aren't queer friendly bc life itself as a queer person is difficult enough and I don't want these daily challenges over and over again when my partner and I are on holiday.

I'm Indian too. heyy, so nice that y'all travelled to our country. I hope your overall experience was nice. Being trans and queer in india absolutely sucks ass. Especially if you're aren't coming from privileged backgrounds. A lot of spaces are inaccessible, expensive and you tend to not know anyone queer around you and the homophobia is BIG.

You are both GLOWING omg 😍😍

Imagine being queer and trans in Iran. I'm also not cis / straight passing at all , sometimes I wonder how I'm surviving and still alive 🤔😄✌🏻

I am so excited for your Indian vlogs lets goooooo....

I am from Himachal Pradesh 🇮🇳 And this place has always felt safe to me People are so accepting and specially our women they will welcome u with open arms no matter who u r . Being gay in India is like so much mixed experience at some places/states it can be hell Accepting and in few places/states it can be chaotic at unsafe.

I feel you. Me and my wife share the same points of view. No PDA, being extra careful, acknowledge the cis privilege and unprivileged lgbt side. But still we’d be losing a lot of enriching experiences and knowledge if we don’t travel to non-western countries. And I feel you being ‘seen’ as male. I usually get stressed planning outfits because it’s so overwhelming trying to be yourself (I’d never use a dress or have long hair again) but at the same time trying to be kinda of discreet. How do you cope with outfits? Thanks for the video

Well it’s was so good to watch your video and this is my first time commenting here 😊 my gf and my jaan told me to watch this she is always scared to even kiss me in crowd 😅 but I do rob that moment to kiss her in Indian street 😜 it’s like I love to do that to her 😘 I don’t care what people says and all for all this time no one passed even one comment to us they only gave us blushing smile 😊 ❤ and I adored that 😅 and I am personally very straight person I am only gay to her I don’t feel gayness for every girl but for my jaan ❤🤪 I agree with you girls always be safe in India trust yourself bt no one when u r India! I love to live in London ❤ now my new home is London ❤ I feel that freedom has to come from within ourselves. I live in an urban environment and carry no shame but it is horrifying how badly some people are treated because of their sexuality. The Constitution talks of freedom to love ❤️ Just a glimpse 👇 We wanted people to wake up and smell the coffee. If things are to change, it has to begin with each one of us. Subbed you just for her ❤ she loves your content a lot eagerly waits for your video 😊 😉 ❤ And for you Lilian and alexis please keep travelling to India 🇮🇳 it’s a beautiful country to be explore things ignore the wicked eyes pointless questions just be yourself 🇮🇳 😅 ❤ 😘 love from both of us ❤ 🫂 Namaste 🙏

Story for Lillian: Last year at the medical clinic I had short hair. And I was wearing both a mask and goggles. And baggy clothes that hide my figure (which were mens clothes, because I’m tall and they come in bigger sizes). And when the nurse addressed me, she called me SIR 🤣🤣 So I feel ya! 😆

When my girlfriend had short hair she was constantly misgendered, it used to irk her a lot. She has longer hair now, but since she is around 5’9” (a bit tall by Indian standard) and slim built (smaller chest size), she wears no makeup and mostly wears jeans, and so people still misgender her periodically. In India, people cannot register a person as a woman if they digress from the “norm”. Btw we’re both Indians.. I would love to travel to countries where we can express ourselves freely. I am open to travelling to other conservative places too, guess coming from a conservative country it doesn’t seem like we’d have to hide anymore than we currently do.

It's really dark.. Cause imagine not able to come out as who you are. 🥺 It's been so long since I knew I wanna spend my life with a female partner but not able to share it with my family. It's so hard. 😔

Sorry, perhaps closed minded of me, but I don’t travel to places where I am not recognized or treated for who I am, and I definitely don’t support countries that treat women like sh*t.

Was this experience more pronounced in India? I really hope not.I am from India and i really hope u enjoyed ur honeymoon here. From the few clips i saw, u really went local and tried so many different things and i loved it.

"I don't want long hair just to please the ideas that people have of a woman" Damn girl

The more you travel , the more you will help by bringing. In awareness and sensitivity especially security at the airports . Be yourself and let others improve themselves and as regards PDAs in India , the society at large needs to evolve into accepting it .

Omg that almost made me cry. Sometimes I just hate that straight people never have to think about these things (although come to think of it, in places like Saudi even straight pda is frowned upon). My ex girlfriend and I went to India and Oman (where homosexuality is illegal). We just hid our relationship but it doesn't feel good to have to do that...

Looking forward for your videos

I’m going to Malaysia, Cambodia, Thailand and signapore for a work trip I look like a male for the same reasons you have stated in the video. I’m very nervous about going on the trip due to using public restrooms etc. how would you go about this when you were traveling?

Very interesting - loved it. Thanks!

Stay blessed!! Love from India

Yaarr ((friend) in India all girls who r in relationship move in society as a friends 😅😅 u guys r too innocent 😇

2:32 a brief glimpse of Jaipur's Hawa Mahal, I had a flashback of its intestine, labyrinth-like interiors and the constant flow of people trying to squeeze in and out at all times.

Now imagine being a part lgbtq community and a native Indian.🥲

You should come to Georgia) Its friendly, I see couples everywhere)

Thank you very much for your useful video, friends !

I totally agree with you guys. I am indian and majority of indian people even don't know the concept of lgbtq. It will take time to educate people. So its not your fault its fault of system and education But there many people in India you understand all this also so its depends on you on which social class you are meeting with. Educated or uneducated only that's a difference

I totally get your idealism, and wanting to express yourself uninhibitedly, and fight for your rights in all situations. But… the reality of this imperfect world is often you have to put your feelings aside and choose your battles. Hiding the nature of your relationship, when not doing so could potentially compromise your safety, is simply the wise thing to do. Even if you’re just in an airport. Saudi Arabia literally imprisons r.a.p.e victims- even when they’re Westerners. So you can never be too safe 💗

I like to see your videos as, quality is very nice and I also like to hear your speech in English.

So sorry to hear the sad news what you guys have come across during your visit to my country India

Can you make a video soon where you explain how you can morally agree to fly so much, to consume so much carbon dioxide without getting a bad conscience?

Me and my girlfriend wanted to visit India this autumn. And our visa manager said that we have to bring our husbands consent, if we aren't married then parents consents. This was India's visa requirements. We decided not to travel to this place. I had better opinion about this country. Now it isn't.

You are sooo cute

Wow I didn’t consider this as a baby gay. Haven’t traveled as a couple yet. But for my honeymoon I would love to go somewhere that I can feel comfortable and safe to be openly me, gay and involve all the way! That must have been very hard & restrictive for a honeymoon to act like friends. I feel like I would forget to remember being touchy feely! It comes as a instinct of being relaxed. Curious what places that might be, that combine both destination, tropical climate & decent humanity.

My friend is indian and she looks like a man too) and behaive as well. Life isn't simple for her of course, but her family and friends love and accept her. and also I know some Queer indian couples))

I'm Indian & queer, first sorry you had to face that. Actually Indians have always been that patriarchal culture values, but we are changing but it will take time.

In India it depends where you are, bc in more modern sides of the country or Goa it's completely okay no one give a sh#$ as it's legal in our country but in other parts it's not considered as good thing even so many people have same-sex relationships regardless religion or other things. If you open a same sex dating app you can see the the queer ness of that place.

Love you guys, this was interesting and funny . I got to lgbtq plus friendly places. But glad you got to experience India and feel safe comfortable. I enjoy the freedom of dressing more neutral. I feel more relaxed being less feminine even tho I identify as a woman. I don't feel comfortable in a dress etc. Which I'm happy with x X

Very smart! It would be nice to be able to travel wherever we want and and be ourselves, but the reality is that that’s not the world we currently live in. No need to put our lives in unnecessary danger just so we can hold hands in public.

By the way you guys look really beautiful in indian outfits 😍

Interesting comments to learn all about your experiences in India.

Please visit the Philippines too!❤

Hey Alex and Lilian why u didn’t make a vlog before u visit india 🇮🇳 . There are numbers of ur followers in different states of India. I m from Amritsar punjab. I m always like ur Volgs it always cool .. 1:02 decent and mind relaxing. Really I missed it that u came to my country but I couldn’t meet u. In India if u visit again never expose ur relationship just enjoy ur trip and beautiful locations of India in open and enjoy ur relationship far from the eyes and behind the close doors👀 of Indian people.😮. I m really sorry that u had faced uncomfortable situations in my country. Next time whenever u come to India come straight to my home in punjab. U r always welcome in my house . Love u both stay blessed stay safe 👍🏻👍🏻

Thanks for the videos.. it's a good things for an education...

Have fun on your travels.😀

I feel like I get one BIG pass. If it is my skin or ethnicity, I dress as close to that places “normal” as possible. If its being American, I make sure I know basic phrases of respect in that country (sir, ma’am, thank you, bless you etc). I have so much respect and appreciation for the honesty. In my opinion the experience or the adventure is paramount. I’m a stranger in a strange land and… 99% of people are wonderful- I swear tho being black anywhere you’re gonna get gawked at😂

It's so sad that as humans, we have to be on guard when we're traveling just because of who we sleep with.

Aww 🥰❤️ true love

What kind of work do you both do that you can travel so freely?

omg i'm literally a lesbian from saudi arabia Imao yea but tbh i'm so glad you guys were safe

Recently in 2020 the indian govt. legalises LGBTQ ..... But to think and implement it people need to be rich..... First u r rich then u think ...... India has come a a long way and we will develop more in future

Ladies, I agree; stay safe when you are traveling. I also agree with researching a place when you are traveling. It's fine to censor yourself when needed. I understand the inner conflict of emotion. Nonetheless, it's better to respect the rules than to find yourself in an unfortunate situation.

Thanks for another interesting video! Your channel is great. I know what you mean, but can`t see it as a privilage to hide who you love and who you are. It makes me sad and angry when I hear that you have to push Alexis away and hurt her feelings in order that you both can be save. I couldn`t even stand the questions about a husband and the pretending, just to comfort intolerant minds. Congrats to both of you: wife & wife 🌻 and lots of love to our wonderful LGBTIQ+ community ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎🤍 Without us the world would be colourless and dull. Viele Grüße aus Berlin, vielleicht seid ihr bald ja auch mal wieder hier und dreht ein Video! 🙂

As much as I want to see so many cultures and places, I avoid those with particularly bad anti-LGBTQ legislature and culture (I wouldn't want to support their tourism efforts). It's like when FIFA brings the World Cup that would prohibit out soccer players (no wonder the women's tournament was hosted in different part of the world). I'd like to think that India's relatively progressing in LGBTQ acceptance. I read the other day about a societal embrace of trans couple having a child together. Even around the very left wing city of Boston (Massachusetts), there are places where (sometimes even based on culture), I feel like I stick out more (which can make me feel more dysphoric). When I traveled to Foxwoods Casino for a metal concert (Scorpions and Thundermother), I saw a couple back at the hotel in the elevator, and we talk about the musicians that we were there to see. As the elevator closes behind me, I hear the man ask his wife "Is that a guy or a girl?", though the Scorpion fans that i met were very accepting. A week later, I was seeing Eric Clapton perform, and a woman sitting behind me shined the flashlight of her phone on my jawline to point out any stubble and told her companion "See! It's a guy!". Sometimes, it's behavior learned a young age (from someone of influence). I was at Target one night (I had just gotten out if work, and didn't have my inserts in). This little kid (maybe 6 or 7) looks at me abd tells his mom "That's a bad man.". Not apologizing to me, the mother turns to her kid abd in hushed voice says "We don't say those things.", while I'm just thinking "We shouldn't 'think' those things.". Really, I had just been joking with the mother as we stood in line. She asked why it was only self-check registers, and no person at the counter, and I said "Not to discredit the employee helping people at the self-checks.".

It was always acceptable for thousands of year in India, 800 year rule of muslims and british made it unacceptable. India is slowly recovering.

queer/lesbian couple- just got back from a month in india. we did the same, no PDA and no disclosing that we were a couple- when people asked we were friends. with regards to the PDA, i didn't find it that hard even tho normally we are quite affectionate, i found not even heteros were pda in india. it was just a more conservative environment in display of sexuality, i thought at least. mm and then lying about relationship status... i get that in terms of the advocacy, but personally i dont have the capacity for the conversations and the frequency that you would be having that conversation in india with how many ppl ask you questions lol. also don't feel like having my day spoilt on a holiday by a negative reaction lol

Dr. Naynar from 🇮🇳India right now in state jharkhan district dumka near baba baidyanath dham one of mahadev 12 jotirging 😘🥰 i think you both are travelling in vrindavan in current March 2023💐

Safety is important.I consider myself somewhat of an activist in our community and for our family. I applaud the otherwise peaceful and loving Roman Catholic nuns jailed and worse for a cause no matter what. In certain circumstances one is best to chill on our morals as you said. It's a safety issue💁🏼‍♀️. Women without men draws attention making any travel a matter of safety first. Sometimes there are places where I should not go day or night and so I don't. Sad solo & female gaddabouts are endangered 💐

I think as females you wont be that discriminated or not at all for showing public display of affection. In India women showing affection to each other is pretty much accepted. Things get worse when you are a man. So you could still pass as a 'normal' couple after showing pda.

Your hair never looked so good liliaaan! I bet Alexis agree

You came to India?🥺😍

So cute❤

Have you travelled to Mexico ? I’m wondering how that is

It's legal in India and people except few places are accepting towards it ....... PDA however even if you're straight is not acceptable in India as it's considered obscene no matter what gender or sexuality you're it's more do whatever you want behind closed doors and is applicable for everyone

Fantastische Erfahrung.

My partner is on the side of not going places where there is danger/intolerance towards the queer community. I on the other hand am more open to going anywhere. We do censor though we are always doing this to a degree unfortunately. It’s something that I cannot turn off so easily. As a queer POC code switching is second nature. When I am traveling I just want to relax, enjoy the vistas, etc. and I am willing to blend in to do that I am v good at it (sigh) . I don’t want to fight or end up dead or in jail. Because I chose to do this, to travel. I went in knowing full well that people who are queer may be put to death in certain countries.

💜💜

You both have broke the Boys' Heart.

I think safety first if you don't know the landscape for LGBTQ folk

In terms of ethics I try to not only consider the impacts certain legal systems currently have on my freedom as a queer person, but also the power structures that have given rise to them, as well as my positionality as a white Western woman within those power structures. In case of India, for instance, I would be mindful of the variety of societal groups that have lived in present-day India without binary categories of gender for centuries. What we, in Western terms, call „queerness“ or „identifying as non-binary“ has been culturally valued, emphasized and celebrated in parts of India way before queer people accessed LGBTQIA+ rights in Europe. Hijra people, for instance, have have been valued part of Indian society until Western colonization imposed a binary system of gender onto the native population of India, leaving behind a cultural and legal system that privileges heteronormativity, and criminalizes against LGBTQIA+ lifestyles and identities.

❤❤

Never been to Saudi or emirates etc, because of the issue, but I‘m not lgbtq. we‘re a couple (m+f) not married and have a child and we always rub it in everyones face that we‘re not married and marriage is stupid.

In south asian country,pda is not normal for any sexual oriented people.its a cultural thing.and gay marriage is legal in india but not other south asian country.

Philippines please 💜

I only travel to places I feel safe