Yeah the biggest problem is that we're already reducing the pool of potential mates because we're looking for Catholics, but then it gets lowered even further because we're looking for FAITHFUL Catholics. It's a subset of a subset and that's what makes Catholic dating so challenging.

I’m so sorry that guy abused you so badly! We need to talk about this more frequently because dads and priests and everyone at church should be careful of letting in abusive people who pretend to be good people just to get the girls at church!

I married my Catholic girl back in 1985. We were 27 and 25 and ready. We were both under employed, no health insurance.

I don't have any horror stories dating Catholic women because I stay inside my room reading like a literal Hermit. We learning about theology, catechesis and the Word everyday 🗣🗣🗣🗣

Haters will be prayed for is one of the funniest catch phrases and so appropriate. Very clever. Definitely trademark that phrase.

It takes a lot of courage and bravery to speak up and I’m glad you did. 😊 We pray for all those who are going through difficult times, Lord hear our prayer. Pray for us dear Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ. Amen.

I was part of the Charismatic Renewal from age 17 to 29. At the time the dating pool was competitive enough to bring out the worst in some young women. Felt more like Hunger Games High than a Christlike environment. It’s not the main reason I left, but it was part of it. I only just recently started going back to a non-Charismatic Mass about 5 months ago at 44. I’m still healing.

I got engaged to a Protestant, broke up 3 months before the wedding (I was nondenominational at the time). At the time I met my current fiance I was still a nondenominational. I came back to the Church in January and it has since caused terrible fights in our relationship...He is a VERY nondenominational Christian and he strongly disapproves of Catholicism. I am at a crossroads and could use all the prayer I can get. Any advice for Catholics engaged to non-Catholics would be appreciated!

I’m really happy for you. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Thank you for sharing your story! You are such a brave TRUE, mature, authentic person. I am happy for you now. Take care❤️

I went through a similar experience with an abusive, and controlling boyfriend. He was my first boyfriend and I was a bit younger. I thought that his behavior was because he loved me so much. Of course it got worse, and finally ended after a few years of this, when he punched me in the chest so hard that I couldn't breathe. I met someone else sometime after. He was totally opposite. We got married when I was 21. We ended up divorcing because he was gay! So I quit dating at 25. I finally met my husband and married at age 30. We have been married now for 33 years. My dad was killed in a work accident when I was 17. I am 2nd oldest of 7 kids and we all lived at home at the time. So my family was going through a lot and distracted. Not that I am blaming my family at all. I kept what was happening to myself. So nobody knew that I was being abused by this guy. I didn't realize that I was being abused. I didn't want to be the cause of any trouble. Looking back, I can see how wrong I was to keep this to myself. I should have been screaming from the roof tops! Please tell someone if you think that you're in a bad situation! You need support and someone to guide you in a healthy way! May God bless and strenghthen all abuse victims! ⚘️

I’m sorry, Amber. I had no idea!! Thank goodness for Max!! I’ll be praying for your healing!! God bless you!! Thanks for sharing this with us!!

Great last 2 points! Location/trust and best interest

Also after finishing your story I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been through. Those guys were more screwed up than any I’ve ever heard of. I’m old school and have never behaved like that. It’s ridiculous and unacceptable

Great advice get curious and discuss. And know your deal breakers

Great job!

Good insight on baptism

I would say that I wouldn’t consider someone my GF until they met my parents/family. If they tell me something is off about her then that is a clear sign that you shouldn’t date them, or at least wait. Unfortunately, I don’t think a lot of people do this, or they just ignore their families thoughts.

Oh my gosh, Thank you God that you got away from that guy that was abusive. And thank God you told the priest about what he was like so he didn't get in. That would've been a disaster. I didn't know you went through all that, I'm so glad you found someone for you and that you are healing or have healed from that awful suffering. I'm pissed just thinking about it, I'm hoping he repents and that God puts the fear of hell in him so he changes his ways. I don't understand how a man can call himself Catholic when he behaves like that. And sadly, no doubt there are tons of evil "CAtholic" men out there. And women too, but I mostly recognize it in men cause I ain't into women. lol

Some people just don’t understand how to be happy or nice

I'm going through a break up from a 2y relationship rn. 2 months have passed. I'm feeling really confused, I ended up loosing myself somehow, idk if it was because of her but tbh I don't think so, it's just that I didn't solve my pmo addiciton and other stuff. I think I also ended up being controlling at first since I had a really trad view on dating (in a bad way). I remember at first being bothered by how she dressed since I thought it was inmodest since it wasn't like a dress or idk. Now I notice that I was actually an idiot and controlling. I stopped it thou and started being more supportive to her and help her be more confident about using other types of clothes in a good way (so she could open more about it). But yeah, I was controlling and didn't notice at first. I was so obssesed with her not being "slutty" (which she wasn't) and ended up being toxic. In the end, that was not a problem anymore, but other stuff happened because I was controlling overall in life. I guess that also made it more difficult for me to tell if I loved her truly. Now I'm going through therapy, trying to overcome porn addiction and other stuff. So yeah, I screwed up in many ways. I hope I can say sorry to her about this in the future and if we are together again be a better partner for her or for another woman. Not everything was bad thou, I had moments that I was very loving, but in the end I wasn't able to change in the moment. Please pray for me and maybe my narcissim, it's difficult to change it.

Hope everything is improving.

Love it

Yes stay vigilant and trust your gut

May the fourth be with you!

I'm in what I think is a nightmare situation. I don't know how to get out of it safely without disaster. Similar to you everything I enjoy is destroyed (around the 19:16 timestamp). It's long-distance and long-term making this even harder. She's very very difficult to read and I have suffered from a number of incidents of paranoia as well as reaching a very suicidal point in my life. Please pray for God's protection and individual healing for the both of us. I feel like your account of the physical abuse has woken me up quite a bit to the prevalence of many rash approaches to dating out there ,though I cannot recognise whether or not I am worse off.

I believe you!!

Yeah I definitely have a dating horror story with another catholic.

Boys, just look around at church. As my parents tell me "at least at church you know you're getting a real girl"😂

Any good Catholic women in here?

My prediction prior to watching, is that Eastern Orthodox dating has all the same problems, with the added issue that the pool is ~1/10 the size.

I felt like Novus Ordo men were way too lax and weak in their faith when I started getting to know some of them so I thought I’d do go out with TLM guys and the first one told me women should not be allowed to go to college or vote 😅😅😅

Very few husbands now can afford a SAHM. And even fewer men are willing to forego a wife's potential income.

Uffda, yeah watch out for red flags bur keep faith don’t settle

Sometimes I think "Man, I probably don't have the swag to get a girlfriend." And then I realize that guys like that exist.

Great advice don’t Marie to convert them. Been there even with some Catholics who weren’t going to mass as much as I was and wanted.

Yes ask the hard questions

6:49 Hmmm…I’m not too sure of that these days. I think maybe the reason that people think it’s more common for more men to be toxic in relationships than women is because men simply don’t talk about their experiences like women do. For example, I don’t generally share this but the only 3 serious relationships I’ve ever had ended as follows. The first cheated on me and ended up with at least 3 children from 3 different fathers, all out of wedlock. The second not only cheated on me while we were engaged, but also became a heroin addict and died of drug overdose. She too had a child out of wedlock. The third was an incredibly selfish narcissist who broke off our engagement because she said she needed sex and didn’t want to wait for the Church to marry us. We were together for quite a long time and could not make any headway. She also required that we move extremely far away from my family because she unwarrantedly hated them so much. She had 2 children in a prior marriage, the second child she tried having with the intention to divorce shortly after. You can certainly say that I pick the wrong women but that’s my point. This is what’s out there. I would seriously hope that this is not typical, but then again, what is typical these days? 🤷🏼‍♂️

It seems like a good college to attend is Fransican University in Stubenville, Ohio. I believe most students are practicing and faithful Catholics. Getting married to someone with the same morals and beliefs would make things much easier. You still need that chemistry!! Stay away from controllers!!

My wife and I were married in '09. I was making $9.00 an hour. I had so much to learn about narcissism, trust issues, and impurity and repent for it. My wife has been such a blessing. We joined the Church in 2015. Our priest has been a true spiritual guide. God has provided in amazing ways. We have 8 children and love each other even more now than when our relationship began! Thanks for sharing your story.

35 year old single woman here. I think a man can be the head of the home while the relationship still being mutual decisions/ discussions, a partnership. No one like controling and being micro managed. I would not marry someone who would not be ok with mutual decison making. And from then men i have dated in my 20s all i saw was extremely selfish decision making and takers / users. Not all men are leaders that is just the thruth.

I see both sides. From the guys perspective most women are ruined by feminism and aren’t real traditional or Catholic. They usually sleep around etc. They expect a lot from a man but don’t bring much to the table. They preach partnership but don’t want to work, they don’t do housework, or cook or give physical relations even if married. how is that fair? This has been the experience of my family and circle of friends

What were yours for Max compared to what they were in the past

This is what scares me about church. You still felt you had to be polite and thanked him for the dates after he physically harmed you and cut your knee to the bone. I struggle with this so much because there are many many cases of this.i am not a man hater or a feminist, however what is there to do with a man like that? He was just left to (hopefully not) Do this to someone else. To much gets swept under the rug and im so sorry that happened to you.😢 And I'm sorry if you think a woman is infertile at 22 bro😂

Went to my first Latin Mass at age 22 in 2015. I'm not the most connected person because my family are fallen away Catholics. I even moved to another state two years later after I felt more entrenched in tradition and waded through the murky waters. I was interested in a girl months after I moved. Her father met me at a graduation party we talked about various things enjoyed the conversation. Invited me to his daughter's graduation party shortly afterward. I did not really speak to her much until I asked how she was after graduating. He conveyed the ideal image of a woman who wanted to get married young and have a big family. I pursued her and I was nervous. I could hardly talk to her and she rejected me after failing to make a move in a timely manner. At least I suspect that is the reason. I tried a couple weeks later again because some people say to "not give up that easily". She shot me down again. She got married about a year and half later and moved across state. During that time, I pretty much said nothing to her outside of telling her congratulations when I heard she got engaged. I remember specifically saying "I hope it turns out well." No sarcasm, no envious untones. Years later I was at a wedding and same them there and her husband gave me a really nasty stare. I saw him at Mass a few months later when they were visiting family. Same nasty stare. I used to have an online profile on an exclusively traditional catholic online dating website stating clearly "the husband is the head of the household" no overbearing or narcissistic overtones. Just stating what I view in terms of husband wife relations in marriage. I was approached by a happily married man who took me to the corner saying "women don't want to hear that". From what I interpreted, traditional Catholic women aren't all that different from worldly women. I don't know how anyone could interpret that statement differently. I have witnessed almost as many broken engagements as I have marriages in people my age group since finding tradition almost a decade ago. One engaged couple that broke it off I personally witnessed them sitting on a couch right next to each other with a blanket over them. Sibling from both sides of the family were in the same room and I know the father walked in the room and saw it too. A lot of people think broken engagements are not that serious and say "it's better than a broken marriage". True. But that's like saying it's better to be robbed of $500 than $1000. It's not a consolation. Engagements used to be legally binding and it used to be extremely difficult to break it off (I heard one source say you needed permission from a bishop). An engagement is a promise and breaking an engagement is breaking a promise. That reflects poorly on you. There may be a rare few who are no at fault for it but for the most part I suspect poor judgement is the cause. I visited a friend in California last year. We had a social gathering and one of the young men opened up and said he has been courting a girl for four years. I was dismayed and was critical of the time frame basically telling him there is no way warm blooded young people can be in an occasion of sin for four years and still consistently be practicing chastity. Same friend called me about a month ago and told me about the same young man and he said the wedding was delayed telling me "it was out of his control". I hope everyone who wants to get married and wants a family does so. But as for me... I've given up on the pursuit of marriage. I come from a bad family (and many people make that a dealbreaker which I don't blame them). The long time married people don't inspire me. The younger married couples don't inspire me. The courting couples don't inspire me. The priests don't inspire me. The communities at large don't inspire me. Lots of people who grew up in tradition leave and the ones that remain... well let's just say I used to enjoy social gatherings and parties but I don't want anything to do with young adult gatherings even though I'm only 31 years old. I have traditional Catholic friends in other cities that I talk to and I frequent forums. I don't believe that things will be different in other parts of the country. So please don't suggest moving to meet Miss Trad America. I already moved to a different state. As for the girl who rejected me... I certainly grant her the right to choose who she wishes to marry. But when a young man has honest intentions does not do anything torrid or lustful towards her and she gossips to her friends and now husband behind my back it does not inspire trust and community. It's fine to tell me to offer it up and use it as an opportunity to grow in humility and purge the vice of human respect. But when people don't like and trust one another that is harmful to the community and it has very severe consequences. And women have a tendency to reject a man simply because her girlfriend rejected him. That's not a shot at women, that's simply a very noticeable observation. I'm not defending everything the men do either. But as Amber said in the video "I'm not dating a woman". Same with me. I'm not dating a man. I have a few friends that I can open up to but I don't trust traditional Catholic communities at large. I'm not an advocate of the idea of marriage simply "a man and a woman putting their trust in God." The community matters too. Would you want to raise a family in a community you don't trust? I wouldn't. My intention was not to demoralize anyone or stop anyone from pursuing marriage. My intention is to concur with Amber it is a nightmare and for you to be aware of what troubles could await any of you. God bless.

How is your dad doing?

Standards

🫡🇻🇦

Yes it chsnges

There’s not any young Catholic girls at my parish that want to date me I am 18

That shirt is definetely you

Uniquely attractive

MGTOW

How come young guys do not do the right things for pretty young women like you. They have too much to learn.

*Modern men incorrectly presume "leadership" means abusive control.* Catholic clergy tell men they are the "head" of the wife, but don't bother to explain that *"headship" obligates self-sacrifice,* so husbands incorrectly think "head" means dictator, boss. Ephesians 5:21-33.

Omg Amber. 🫂