Cringiest part of parasocial relationships is fans defending their favs online like their life depends on it

AND THEN LIZZO??? LIKE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THEM

this just shows for people to stop putting their favs on a pedestal, because no matter how much you think you know them, you never really do.

Look at Chris Brown stans if you want to see an example of fans who will ignore all kinds of heinous shlt.

I think one of the wild parts about Doja saying her previous pop music were just stupid cash grabs is that it’s MAD DISRESPECTFUL to the artists that had features on her albums. Like. Rude as hell. It’s wild to me that her PR team still let’s her have full access to her social media pages without stopping her from self-sabotaging (which is exactly what I think this is)

They say never meet ur idols for a reason 💀 imagine the pain being a weeknd, Lizzo, Ariana, AND doja fan. Can't catch a BREAK

Yet another example of why it's a bad idea to put your favs (or any celebrities) on pedestals. These people make mistakes all the time, they aren't good people. Stan culture isn't it.

Never was a fan of Doja, but occasionally listened to some of her music. I've been done with her completely ever since her lorry hill and noah schnapp situations(esp. noah, what grown ass adult dms a kid asking to play wingman for a costar of his then throws a fit on insta about it when he jokingly shows the texts). She's always been a mean girl, people are just now realizing it.

I’m low key LIVINGG for the deconstruction of parasocial relationships. I used to be OBSESSED with celebrities lives to the point where it was ruining my own (since I’d rather stay inside instead of living in the real world and seeing people in person). It’s been hard to detach but MAN! It’s been so worth it. People really do need to touch grass! It helps!!!

As a kpop fan, the amount of parasocial relationships i have seen are insane

it's actually funny that after everything doja pulled, alienating her fans, calling her past albums cash grabs and claiming she disliked making that music, her new single ended up sounding VERY similar to hot pink/planet her. like it did not take a different direction at all in terms of sound

I've been thinking a lot about parasocial relationships lately within the kpop community and how crazy they've gotten, thank you for this! We gotta stop putting everyone on pedestals for our own sanity lol

Doja doesn't have to love her fans but she can love them like a platonic appreciative way.

Ariana literally has a whole song called Breakup with your girlfriend why would the internet be surprised.

Para-social relationships was made because lots of people are lonely…

This is why I love Beyoncé and other celebrities who don’t share their whole lives. No one should really Stan someone so hard because we don’t know them personally

I disagree on the whole “Ariana is catching most of the flack instead of Ethan” standpoint. The reason why Ariana is receiving so much criticism is because ppl are realizing JUST how severe her pattern of behaviour is. Idk I don’t think its misogynistic to call a spade a spade 🤷🏻‍♀️ She’s a homewrecker.

“Doja was playing a character, plus you shouldn’t idolize your favs” I do agree that putting your favs on pedestals is dumb, but the stuff Doja was saying TO HER FANS no matter if it was a character it really made her community leave her and shi

Ethan is getting less heat not because people don’t think what he did was wrong but because people care about him less. A random guy cheating on his wife is nothing new, but Ariana, who passes herself off as a feminist that everyone perceives as having been a good person doing what she did is far more shocking. It’s that simple and it’s not misogyny. I don’t know, I just find it odd that you pointed out all the reasons why it shouldn’t be surprising that Ariana is catching more heat and then pretended it was because of hypocrisy or something. Like no, you said why it made why more people would be talking about her and that’s it.

Not sure why Doja hyped this album up as if it was gonna be something different…let’s be real attention and paint the town red sounds like it could’ve been on hot pink/planet her 😭

Yes! Like if you’re not happy with someone’s actions, JUST stop supporting them.

I wouldn’t say everyone who’s bashing Ariana has a parasocial relationship. She is a public figure who intentionally did something wrong and she is being shunned just like a regular person would be in society if they were known to be a home wrecker.

Celebrities also need to stop portraying themselves as something they're not to sell their product because it's deceitful. You can't portray yourself to be a certain person and then not live up to it and expect your fans not to be pissed at you💀

these parasocial relationships keep the bills paid that's why artist don't stop them into its too late.

I just hate that when we start to stan a celeb just to find out they begin to slowly show their true colors :(

as a kpop stan seeing this dissection of parasocial relationships reaching levels of self awareness from consumers is interesting because it really highlights the differences in marketing in western industries versus, say, the south korean entertainment industry. in america our celebrities may be turning into influencers but they’re still mainly selling their work as a product. in south korea the music is only a part of the package, their lives are also being sold too. because fandom provides such a sense of belonging to a lot of fans, it makes sense that they begin to feel entitled to their idols’ lives when it is linked to the thing they pay to consume. the idea that someone’s actions are surprising to us is just a reminder that despite how much you love your fave, you don’t know them, and it hurts, which explains a lot of the denial some fans might feel and will just go on supporting that person, no matter how problematic they’ve shown to be. social media has blurred too many lines between celebrity and the average person i think.

this is why when i find a new artist or something i just listen to their music. that’s it. no learning about their personal lives or who they dated way back when. i listen to kpop but never call myself a stan because i do not care about the idols themselves. ik that sounds harsh but yeah. i don’t really bother to know the names of each idol or how old they are. i just listen to their music.

Personally I feel like I can separate the music from the artist and still hold them accountable. I lovvvvve Aris music. Her music was pivotal in so many emotional points in my life, and I don’t see myself just disliking her albums because of her controversy. However; whereas once I was a huge fan and would’ve dedicated myself as a fan a little more, I certainly think this changed things. You will not catch me at her shows or actively supporting her aside from the probable $1 she gains from my Spotify streams. My money and general support and effort are going to the artists I think embody my values. This does make me sad because as someone who’s been a victim of a homewrecker it sucks to see one of my favorite artist act this way, but at the end of the day I don’t know her.

One thing I feel needs to be said is that theres a big difference between "puttiing someone on a pedestal" and just... Expecting or wanting to believe your fav artist is a decent person. I dont think it is that unreasonable.

I do think it’s interesting that you said celebrities aren’t owed us anything except what they’re selling! But more often than not because of the rise of the influencer, celebrities are selling themselves. to what extent is Doha’s. brand her music and what is HER? Idk! I just wanted to share that

Now Lizzo is getting a whole lawsuit filled against her. embarrassing.

As a former Swiftie, my heart goes out to the all the other pop girly stans who have fallen❤. Your soul will feel better when you leave the parasocial admiration behind and start investing in yourself

All the attention Ariana is getting is not misogynistic. She isn’t Monica Lewinsky. People are noticing her pattern of behavior and are rightfully calling her out on it. Nobody is ignoring Ethan either. This scandal may likely make it hard for him to find work. His claim to fame is the SpongeBob musical…he didn’t have much stardom in the first place and can easily be erased from the public eye. People know him more from this scandal than the musical. Ariana on the other hand has a pattern of dating taken men. Whether that means she cheats with them or becomes the reason they leave their partners and it’s happened often enough that people are taken notice. I’ve seen many comments of women who were in the wife position that have no sympathy for Ariana and rightfully so. We have to stop claiming misogyny on women whose behavior deserves to be called out. Plus I highly doubt this situation will really be the end of her career so why waste your time backing a home wrecker. Just keep quiet and wait until Wicked come out and enjoy her then. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Damn last year the vocalist of my all time fave hardcore band was accused of sexually assaulting a girl he met up with on tinder. He apologized, was sent to rehab for alcoholism for like 4-5 months, they let him back in and he backpedaled on what he said happened with her. I was such a huge supporter for years, their music got me thru many difficult times so it was heartbreaking realizing everything we thot we knew abt these men was wrong. It doesnt matter the genre/industry etc, this shit exists everywhere, I am glad that we are detaching ourselves from these people and the toxicity of relying on the image of them we've formed in our heads

idk ppl are now saying that ariana and ethan were taking their spouses on double dates together so they could see each other. situation is gross on both their parts.

I like the video BUT I wish people would stop misusing the wording “parasocial relationship”. You wanting to be apart of/create a fandom name for a group or artist is fine. It’s also fine to feel a certain type of way if your fave artist is a cheater and wish they weren’t a homewrecker. Like I been saying, look at what idols in the kpop industry go through. That’s what actual obsessive stan who have parasocial relationship with these idols look like TLDR: Use the terms “parasocial relationship” “stan” and “obsessive fan” correctly

I'm fully convinced that you cannot be a big celebrity without being a terrible person, whether it's secretly or out in the open.😂

Hey, I am really enjoying this video, it kind of made me rethink some stuff here and there, I always never cared who made the music and shows, and kind of just enjoyed the content alone, but parasocial relationships are real, and thank you for addressing it in an understanble and none offensive way. It really painted the picture for me.

so glad ur talking about this!!

I never put celebrities on a pedestal but hearing what Ariana did to her honestly shocked me. She was always seen as a "Girls girl" so for her to publicly humiliate her and disrespect her family like that was just awful. (Plus they did double dates together)

You know what? As they should. Fanbases and fandoms been acting absolutely unhinged for the longest. A lot of fans seriously disrespect the same person thats supposed to be their "fave". The saying "never meet your idol" exists for a reason.

Parasocial relationships are terrifying, honestly. It’s incredible in the same token, because why put so much energy into explaining the decisions of someone you don’t actually know? Hailey and Selena thing really grinds my gears, because people are out here failing language classes, but writing ESSAYS, damn near dissertations, on people they have never met. The culture in itself was meant to be about entertainment, has exploded into their personal lives. Understandable, you want to have a personal connection to the person you are listening, watching, supporting in whatever way etc. but the moment they mess up in anyway people become their publicist. Y’all be easy out there.

It's interesting to see more and more videos about parasocial relationships coming out because it is a great topic to speak about. I'm seeing the issues with parasocial relationships being analyzed with Kpop as well. In recent years some people in some fandoms have become a little overzealous when it comes to interacting with idols/celebs. It's like post covid people started relying more on connecting with celebrities, artists, Influencers, and idols. I'm hoping that with the recent events with celebs that people start to create that healthy distance again.. But man! The Age of Aquarius has been enlightening so far.

Social media to me personally ruined what a "celebrity" is! Back in the day people were obsessed with celebs bc they were fabulous or talented but no one knew anything about them. Now bc of SM celebs over share over talk and answer questions no one was even asking making them very unlikable.

I honestly think parasocial relationships is being used as a coverup for straight up idolisation. You can have a parasocial relationship with someone and still acknowledge they're a regular human being, the real issue is when people idolize and put these people on a pedestal and create a mental image of they can do no wrong and don't need to be held accountable for anything they do.

I think it’s weird that people idolize anyone really, personally I find that odd……

the issue is too many people live online and think they are owed things from celebrities i literally don’t stan anyone its weird and you don’t really know these people! just hold them accountable like anyone else or move on cause no point in canceling them if after a few months you’re going to support them again

Years ago Jhené Aiko put out a song where she alludes to Big Sean being on the scene with "little miss thing" after she and Sean broke up. I've always had the hunch that she was referring to Ariana, and the vibe I got from the line in the song was that this little miss thing came between them in some way. Now, after this situation/entanglement (like Jada would say lol) has been revealed to the public I must say my hunch makes a lot of sense. 😂

Its one thing to be a fan. Its another thing to make a whole human your imaginary friend

The thing about artists is that as soon as they reach a certain level of fame and success they become a commodity for entertainment, so the human aspect of a celebrity is lost and the become a product to be consumed. However, they maintain a human aspect and the human status but it’s a distorted perception of it. Not so much a human, but more a “humanoid’ish” figure (also tied to how perfect and curated their image becomes). I imagine is intertwined with the fear of robots taking human form but viceversa. And when these people act human in their many imperfect ways it’s shocking and difficult to comprehend. Idk at least that’s my hypothesis. At the end of the day these people deserve the privacy we all do, and I do believe that engaging so personally with people you don’t know can affect negatively on fans and celebrities. I do not find any of these people’s behaviour shocking. I believe they stopped giving a f*ck a long time ago and feel caged by how public and picked apart their lives are; to me they’re acting out, and they really don’t care anymore who they upset. It’s heartbreaking to be quite frank. It’s either that or it’s all pr. Anyway, thanks for the space to share.

I think a major part of "stan culture" and parasocial relationships that isn't talked about is the sense of unity it gives lonely people. A lot of stans (particularly teens and early 20 somethings) tend to identify with being misfits, loners, etc. These people (generally speaking) to aren't too happy with their own lives and use these celebrities/influencers as their escape. Finding fellow stans creates this sense of community that they tend to lack IRL. This is why they go so hard for these public figures. They rally each other to vote for their faves, run up their streams so they'll chart or have high KZfaq views. In their minds, if their fav "wins", they win. It's a distraction from their own lives where they feel like nobodies. Stan culture makes them feel like a somebody. I actually deleted my Twitter account some years ago because I got sick of the random K-Pop videos being spammed in conversations that had nothing to do with that lol. I'll never forget when rapper Cupcakke tweeted that she wanted to kill herself and someone commented "why kill yourself when you can stan 'Twice'?!" Accompanied by a clip of one of their performances smh. I feel for these people because they let it consume them and are so out of touch with reality. The saying "go outside and touch grass" applies here. Unplug for a while, look up and live your life. Your REAL life.

Celeberties are humans at the end of the day. They do the same things some none celeberties they just have more eyes on them. Which just to clarify some (if not most) of their behavior is not acceptable

honestly destroying parasocial 'relationships' is a net positive. people need real connections. were a social species. its literally the open secret to thriving as a human

The phrase never meet your heroes falls perfectly within this!! If you give them this personality you think and associate them as you don’t see them doing weirdo shit

Love this video! You hit so many important points, i particularly relate and agree to how you talked about being not shocked, but disappointed when a celebrity you enjoy does something out of pocket. You explained that point beautifully

I appreciate you bringing this up bc it's the one thing that no one is talking about. I was just thinking about the parasocial relationships and then I saw your thumbnail. Instant follow.

For me, I’ll still listen to Ariana’s music, I vibe with it and it would be hard to stop listening to her just because of her personal life. HOWEVER, I will now always view her differently, and see her in a more negative light. I wouldn’t trust her as a friend, but we aren’t friends , and she doesn’t know I exist. But I def think my opinion of her has changed and it’s disappointing for sure. As for doja , I’m not interested in her new album and as a fan of her past work it’s insulting and so dumb to me what she said about her own fans. So what if it was a cash grab? There’s no reason to say that or call your fans dumb for liking it. It left a really bad taste in my mouth for sure. At the end of the day I think she’s a internet troll and hates fame

I love how when we KZfaq search "Ariana Grande SpongeBob", the first several suggestions aren't even about her Nickelodeon years.

THANK YOUUUU! its always been really weird to me how people think these people owe them something and that they care about them . Like they dont have full on media training and they're not telling you what you want to hear.

Doja just can’t make up her mind about her music and what she wants and Ariana is giving Cassie from euphoria.We only the people outside looking in so 😂

See this why I appreciate celebs like kanye and Azelia banks cus they don’t put on a fake act they say how they feel and let you appreciate there art they don’t care if you don’t like them as a person but you can’t say they arent talented

Im so glad to see you chose this video idea!

this video is amazing, so well said and concise !

Not only are celebrities “just people” but their work requires them to put a TON of work into their craft. That means time and energy not being put into healing trauma, doing shadow work, developing an internalized sense of self worth… Also the dynamics of fame is not usually something that helps someone improve their mental health and ability to maintain healthy relationships

the situation with doja shows the ugly truth of putting celebrities on a pedestal, they dont know you nor do they have to care. it would be graceful to show appreciation to the people who keep you relevant but she's a person too, with free will, just like us.

ALSO thank you for mentioning MISOGYNY. It is so real with these stories

This was my first video of yours and within 2 and a half minutes I subscribed like oh this guy knows what's up!!

Might as well add lizzo on to this list now. I'm really disappointed looking upto these people.

Honestly I don't care. Unless they get to R Kelly and Kanye West levels of fuckery, I am not involved or affected. I am just a consumer of content

TOTALLY OUT OF THEME, BUTTTT OMGGG IS THAT THE OLIVIA RODRIGO VAMPIRE MERCH!!Yaassss didnt know you were a livie!!!!Love u even more now

Love the hair. Drop a hair care routine please. Even in a short. Please please please 🥺

I don’t think there’s one lens to look at para social relationships through it’s a very nuanced topic as many things are. I’ve read many comments under this video and almost everything said by someone I agree with half of it and disagree with half of it. Yes it’s weird to think someone you don’t know owes you anything but these people put them selves in a situation where they are publicly on display therefore the way they are viewed is obviously different than someone not in the public eye. The problem with Stan culture is loving someone so much (that you don’t actually know) and blindly supporting them no matter what they do because of the weird connection you’ve created in your head with them. Going off of my first part because these people are in the public eye these situations they get into are no longer their private business which is why I disagree with people that think we shouldn’t care when a celebrity for example dates a known racist. The type of people you keep around reflect your morals and if this information is made public I am allowed to judge that person for it. Like I said I agree with the fact that they owe us nothing so no ofc a celebrity wouldn’t be obligated to break up with the morally incorrect person they are seeing just because their fans said so but that backlash for dating sed person and people no longer liking the celebrity is valid. I personally in most occasions can’t separate the art from the artist just because I hold my morals so high I will judge someone is they are a fan of someone who surrounds themselves in any capacity with someone morally incorrect the same way I would judge a person I know personally for doing so because it shows what type of person you are.

People just be so obsessed they think they can do no wrong. Bad people are bad people it don’t matter who they are.

I am a stan of only one artist/group at the moment (and for the first time ever) and it has revealed to me just how much it takes from an artist to get me into a mode of regularly buying, streaming, attending concerts, and engaging online. I understand now just how little liking a majority of an artist's music has to do with me deciding to actively support them. By no means do I expect nor feel entitled to an artist going beyond making music to get me to legitimately stan them. But as it turns out, without those extras, my lifelong habits have shown that I simply download the songs for free, put them on my phone and keep it pushin'. I'm sure I'm not the only one like this. As for the pop girlies I'm question, how things go for them is dependent on what kind of conditions a majority of their followers have for stanning. Time will tell.

Yassss IMURGENC speak on it! I can't wait to watch this... surprised to not see Lizzo's name the title but perhaps you filmed this video before the news about her broke.

I follow Madisyn Brown and Madi was excusing Ariana's behavior, quoting everything under the sun to explain and justify her behavior but addressing the evil in it, yet making sure to say "I'm not excusing Ariana's behavior, she's a grown ass woman." Madi even started talking about the "danger" of internalized misogyny as to why people were side-eyeing and disagreeing with Ariana, one of these female celebrities championing the idea of self-love, feminism and kindness, yet sacrificing the emotional well-being of another woman for her own. Like, y'all are making excuses and that's fine in my books. But make excuses when you end up in the situation of Ethan Slater's now ex-wife, right?

There is a chinese quote that says : 知人知面不知心 Which means you know the person, you know their appearance but you never know their heart

Can’t wait for you to do a review on The Summer I Turned Pretty.

awesome work !

Now we gotta add LIZZO to the list 🙄

also it’s not just about fans who love the artists either, fans who hate the artist are just as guilty of keeping up parasocial relationships as well. especially if you hate them for something that’s personal to them.

I think that a bit of where the problem comes from is how some celebrities will say they are against something (like idk, say fat shaming) but then will do that thing they are against. And they will make it part of their brand, expecting to not be outed as a hypocrite.

Madyson has had some of the most hurtful and wrong takes out there. I definitely would not reference her in any of your videos

Stop idolizing people, and find better role models ❤

Ariana is definitely winning the idgaf war cuz how she a got all these homewrecking allegations but still manages to get a unreleased demo trending (the demo was leaked by fans and is being taken down but I still think the timing is crazy)

This is why I don't keep up with artists and their personal lives, I just listen to the it music because I like it and I will continue to do so because I separate the artist themselves from what they create and also putting them on a pedestal is just stupid because they're humans just like us and make stupid mistakes just like the rest of us

love your videos!!!

I’m kinda glad that people are starting to realize that Stan culture is just ridiculous and it’s better to not put stars on pedestal so it’s a good thing !

Honestly this is just refreshing. I hate stan culture, its pathetic and if this is whatll take to end probably the worst parts of Gen Z behavior then im all in. It destroys artists and takes away the dignity of fans

My college professor once said this about celebs: "As it is with anybody that you don’t really know, there is a certain amount of information that there is to be consumed to deduce what type of person this is, and of course people oftentimes choose the bits that they want. That’s the most frequent thing. The bits that they enjoy, they will oftentimes choose and create a persona around that and expect that persona and whatever it is, and those bits that are chosen are often chosen from a pool of a finite period of time". The point is that celebrities are just strangers to us and what we think about them is often made up and only exists in our mind and we tend to think that they're better than they really are.

tbh all of the top pop stars are going through it rn… ive just been replaying the lesser known/unproblematic artists in my playlist

this is why you don't "STAN" anyone, no matter how well you think you know them, you really never do

no one talks about the grieving process after finding out that all of your faves suck lol 😭 a bitter but necessary truth

not me watching madisyn’s vid and then hopping right over to yours 🥳

I absolutely love you for talking about this!!!

The internet is going to lose their mind if we ever find out the real yea on Beybey! 🤣

I don’t think it’s “parasocial” to want artists to be good people. Like I don’t even really catch up with celebrity dramas I just barely knew what happened because ur video but I’m still disappointed in them for what they did. I can still appreciate their work and so I will still listen to they’re music. Trust me as much as we like to act these people will be “cancelled” anytime soon(which never works) once a new album drops in a couple years we’ll forget about it. Look at Travis Scott y’all…so I wouldn’t be stressing over it just don’t pay money for them, your allowed to give their music a listen. Let’s face it a majority if not all artists that went mainstream are bad people.

Yes! Take the drama and make it educationaaaaalll! 🎉

3:50 “But that’s neither here nor there. That’s something both here and there” Yeah I got a good chuckle out of that one 🤭🤭🤭

As an aging millennial, I’m glad I’ve never developed the parasocial relationship that todays fanbases have. Then again, my favorite artists have made sure to keep that distance. I think Doja maybe leaning too much in her troll aspect and could backfire, then again, if she’s doing hardcore rap the album will probably do that alone. As for Ari, it’s just messy. It’s not bad and really glad you mentioned it takes two, it’s just her persona is getting long in the tooth.