Working, exercise. Etc..

Mine is too busy fitting in his multiple naps and bong tokes thru out the day...

Truth has been spoken 🗿🗿 Funny when these Ghosters come out of their shells telling funny excuses 😂

Got busy lying 💀

OMG my ghoster is exactly like this. He spends ALL day in twitter and when I try to reach out, he always uses these types of excuses. Not only to me, but to my friends too. He is a stay-at-home dad, I understand that, but he acts busy and tweet like 200 per 10 min.

Pretty much any cluster B really

I guess the narcissists are communal but they don't want their significant other to be communal like they are. Why ? They are non-empathetic attention grabbers.

@Bernita Centeno bpd or npd, they do it for different reasons. My ex with BPD who I suspect was NPD BPD comorbid (but will never know)...did it because she was afraid people would find out out her abuse (which is why she projected what she was doing onto me) - the internal world of each one is different and it is difficult to figure out (a lot of it we just have to let go - because it will never make sense...because they're mentally ill)

​@@hyperionsolomon wdym

@The Wanderer people with BPD or NPD live in a world filled with cognitive distortions and are *legitimately* "mentally ill". It is difficult to accept the reality of someone who is mentally ill because its so skewed, additionally, both of these people are hurting intensely and therefore hurt people around them. Their behavior is manifested in a way that looks and feels similar, but the reasons why they do them are often different; the damage feels the same in the end for those around them though. This is why a commitmemt to a lifetime of therapy as a primary goal in life is critical to these people, lest they NEVER stop hurting inside and those around them. We're talking ten to thirty years of in person therapy, not just online. Unfortunately, most live in denial about thier mental illness (that hurts to acknowledge) and these poor souks think they are better and can quit, but they must never quit, and they need different forms of therapy, often. What I'm saying, is that 40 to 60 percent of what they say about you (for instance, accusstions), is actually them. The weak sense of self causes them to project their thinking processes and feelings (which they think are fact - feelings are NOT facts), onto someone else. Reassurance is met with abuse because they think it's gaslighting. But feelings aren't reality. They are mentally ill. What I'm saying, is that they live in a crazy wacky world of delusional thinking, and this hurts people without them even knowing it. What I'm saying, is that in the end, half of what they say seems like a lie, but it's really just mental illness, that they fully believe hook-line & sinker. In BPD or BPD, the damage is the same to the partner, therefore differentiation seems rather pointless. And diagnosis is not a productive way of making sense out of things. The only thing that matters is the behavior and how it affects people. So in the end... A person who has been damaged by one of these people must come to terms with the fact that it will never really make sense. We have to make peace with never having closure because the closure is so distorted from the mental illness that it's not actually accurate

Or I'm not glued to my phone all day". As if we need to be gloed to send 1 text in 24 hours for example.

So i dont deserve to have friends is what you say??

@@aguilazombieXDwhy do you say you don’t deserve friends. Do you have the habit of ghosting people ?

@@aguilazombieXDdepends on your definition of friends. Everyone will party with you and that doesn’t make them your friend. When you go through some rough times you will see who sticks around

Yes - because that way you take away their control over you. And I think ghosting is a lot about power/hierarchy.

I say.....ohhhhh you want to be a 👻 ghost.....have at it.....but remember.......the dead don't come back to life and a ghost can't dial my #......so remember to stay dead and never come back because trust and believe me........they do and they will. You ghost me buddy, GAME OVER!

Best thing is to change the number. They will go nuts

@@gionagrace6279Lol yeah you say that until your emotionally invested in someone your highly attracted to

@@Eli-ve3ox nope not at all

Thank you, glad someone said it! But still.. what IS the best way to Deal with such a person?

Nailed it!!

@@iconstructme learn their patterns, give them space when required, be empathetic and kind. Understand they’re emotionally underdeveloped (which can be developed with awareness). Hope they’re in therapy. Additionally, when they feel slighted, manipulated, under appreciated, or feel too close their will likely be a withdraw of some level. IMO.

@@NPD2024 seems like I'm on the right path then, though I understand that's not going to be easy)) Thanks again for your reply :)

Avoid those people they are sucking off your energy

Fr, takes away the stress of maintaining a relationship

You and I both we dodged a bullet period this was someone that came into our life that was going to hurt us. Glad you’re gone. In the words of Ariana Grande thank you next.

I was seeing someone on tinder last year. I grew feelings for them and decided to say that I liked them. They said they liked me back. After a month and a half, they suddenly - *over text* - said they just want to be friends (practically begging me). That I was easy to hang out with. I had no idea they were feeling that way. They said I was perfect on paper but that we didn't have chemistry and that they were too depressed to give me the romantic attention I wanted. Okay, cool. Then later, they said they wanted space. We've only seen each other a few times this year. Then last week, they suddenly said they are getting back together with their ex. That she was really jealous of me just seeing a picture of my friend and I at pride. It was hurtful to me being told that. They also said that they went to see barbie even though we had made plans to see it. They told me after the fact. I felt like they were treating me as an afterthought. They said we could go see Oppenheimer. They texted me again the next day saying she wasn't jealous and that they should not have said that about her and that we should all hang out someday. They asked if I had feelings for them. Not once did they apologize for breaking our plans. I felt foolish because I had spray painted my cane pink and got accessories and a black dress for the occasion. All I was hearing that they wanted her to be happy. Saying that we're friends but only considering her feelings and what they wanted. At that point, I told them I wanted to talk in person because I didn't think that a sensitive conversation like that should happen over text. I also said they have basically been blowing me off for a month and that it felt bad. It seems to be a pattern with them. Instead of being mature and having respect for me, they decided to ghost me. They never had intentions on hanging out again. To me, this is unlike them. Our friendship was fine until she came into the picture. Really, they caused this problem for even texting me to say all that. They could have just made a different plan with me. So far, it sounds like their girlfriend is controlling, possessive, and distrusting of them. They should not have treated me that way. I feel like they didn't like me sticking up for myself. They wanted me to just be fine and go along with what they wanted. After all this, I feel like they used me to fill their emptiness. Basically, a rebound. They had unprocessed emotions from that heartbreak and I got caught in it. They knew how much I liked them then. I spent so much time and energy and resources on them. I put in a lot of effort and they never really reciprocated. It was all pretty much one-sided but I didn't want to believe that that was the case. They didn't try getting closer to me or getting to really know me as a person. The problem wasn't me. It was that I wasn't their ex. Since the time they asked to be friends, I was agonizing whether or not to stay in their life. Now I realize that they are a selfish person. They want things to go their way. As soon as it seems uncomfortable, they just run away. Treat me like I'm disposable now that they see no value in me or a point in staying friends. None of this had to happen because we were fine before. I can't believe they didn't even have the decency to just say maybe we shouldn't be friends. It's hard because they live within a mile of me. We've bumped into each other at a couple stores before. If we ever bump into each other again, I'd want them to hear me out. But I'd probably just walk past them. Being treated like you're nothing feels awful. I'm a pretty damn great person. I deserve better and I'm worthy of someone who actually cares.

Ghosting is Abuse.

Yes! He talks about what he does to keep 'contained' (keep one's dignity and boundaries)

@YourCrystalDealer I think what's really happening is the same principle of the no contact rule. It psychologically creates desperation in most people.

Me too man, I am tired of people making excuses for ghosters, especially with "disorder". I personally don't take ghosting too kindly whether they have a "disorder" or not since it is by far the most selfish and childish thing to do, playing with someone's emotions, manipulating and deceiving. Once you ghost someone, the damage has been done, and ghosting will also lower the trust and reputation. And as you said, no excuses.

Thank you !! You so nailed it...!!!!

Real run .narc

@@dhanrajmohan701 I’m on my way out so I don’t need to run. This guy has no legal right to prevent me from moving out. It would take a real shit head to be conniving to make sure the target can’t leave. My brother and my provider are being very supportive of moving where I can feel safe.

Good for you. I had a 'friend-' like that too last autumn. She said ' we are soulmates' so I was alert after that and soon my rext woud be ignored. She told me she had nobody to talk to. I said you can call me if you need to talk. She called but started a conversation with her roommate leaving me hanging on the phone so I hung up. Later when I had a heartbreak I texted her. No reply. Two days later I tojd her: if you want to stop connecting let me know. She replied: I don't know what to say, I have other priorities now". Wow. Very arrogant as if I was acting abnormal. Should have blocked her right there. The problem is not that she didn't have tlme to talk or motivation. Tte problem is that she was rude and just let me feel like a fool. A text was to much to say " talk soon can't talk atm" for example. They don't add anything. Only in the 1st few days we are their new toy for entertainment.

You just described one of my last female friends, so on point. I ended up moving out of State and she was one that I ended up. I’m not sorry 👍

No excuses

You ghost because you’re too wrapped up in yourself to have empathy for others. Being depressed is not an excuse to treat other people like dirt. You have choices in life. Being depressed doesn’t give you an excuse to be a jerk. There are hundreds of thousands of depressed people in the world. Only the ones with empathy deficits ghost. If you want to get out of the cycle, stop focusing on yourself so much and start putting yourself in other people’s shoes

I can understand that but maybe instead of disappearing randomly (ghost) why not just say "I'm not able to continue this conversation. " Or... I'm not able to talk right now. Please understand.

I don’t think that’s the ghost this person is speaking of.

Then u already hurt someone who loved you, so selfish then😅

Doesn't matter

So reject the person who's attached to you instead and make them feel that way. Hope you learn to cope better. I'm going through this right now and all I'm seeing is you don't care about the other person.

Avoidant attachment style = an excuse for being a coward. Just like anxious attachment style = an excuse for being a jerk. It’s called lack of empathy, and there’s no excuse for it.

Then it’s time to invest in therapy and change your ways instead of offloading your issues on to others and causing them pain due to your own pain. That’s taking accountability and responsibility for yourself. We can’t change what’s happened to us but we can change how we respond to and deal with it.

We all have rejection pain but we still open up.and what's scary about sending a small simple text?

You're most likely the narcissist l,most women are.

Aren't Ghosters usually Narcissist?

@@northsideyanks no. In fact, narcissists are more likely to want to stay in people’s lives to feed off of them.

That's childish to deal with any problem that way. Breaking contact is one thing, but you should always let someone know you're breaking contact and the reasons why.

@@funkmonsterWhy does someone who has abused you deserve all that? You can do that, but they will talk you into staying and then continue the cycle of idealization and devaluation. Narcissistic abuse is very painful and very hard to leave. A person suffering from narcissistic abuse should really get out of it. I was very specific to narcissistic abuse in my comment; "grey-rocking" and ghosting are the norm!! Psychologists call ghosting a narcissist going "no contact" and it is highly recommended.

Yep! Don’t listen to these people.

This right here. Sometimes it takes time to digest what's been said in a conversation and when you realise you're just being used it's better to just immediately cut them off for your own sanity.

True, how about being lied to multiple times and still forgive them? But it's obvious the person you're talking to is lying again.

Countless times I've stepped back and the girl begged me to stay and I give her another chance only for her to do me the same wrong things. Block and delete is the only option and if I see you in person I am walking pass you like I don't know you.

Ghosting toxic/abusive people is fine in my opinion. The issue comes when it's a do called friend or family member or maybe someone you've dated for enough of a while

My 4 sisters ghost me but their loss

Love it 😊

Glad it was helpful!

childish.

Confrontation is part of life. If you can't handle it, don't form relationships.

Yes, exactly! That's so immature. I'm sure they don't like it when they are treated that way.

Interesting g so they can allow to be used and lied to but don’t want to deal with confrontation ….😮

Exactly 100% confrontation like call I u weirdo and rude. But they can be rude with you

You should have explained that to her ..you are a coward

Same here 😂 toxic people.

What? He ghosted you? But then you were able to get back into contact them again and they ghosted you again?

😂

@Zachremix not respecting boundaries and demanding your time and attention without your permission is not a respectful relationship anyways. So where is the loss?

This is about another context. It's often the ghoster who claims your time and after you are drained they leave you empty . It's reversed. They have no balance. All over enthusiastic to silence. When it's convenient to them. If you meet one you will understand.

@@peaceofmindofpeace1650I have. That’s a user, manipulator, or narcissist.

​@@wquinonez1477 Oké yes manipulators, same unfortunately.

I agree. A family friend has ghosted me. I know I’ve done nothing wrong. I just wasn’t that important to her. I’ve lost respect.

Always welcome

As i went i found myself surounded by toxic people that they drain the shit out of me. They always try to guilt trip me and shame me to lure me back

@@harounben342 yes that happens it's the cycle that needs to break so you will not fall for the tricks.

How does needing a break relate to ghosting? Ghosting is when you never respond. If you need a break, tell the person you need a break. Not that hard…

@@lionelgrisbane-ud87 because some ppl who are perceived to be ghosting who go quiet for awhile are not, they are taking time for themselves, others use ghosting as part of the control to see if you wait if you reconnect with them it's a testing phase and there's those that ghost without explanation.

@@johnsonfamily3863 …..yes….that’s why I said just tell the person you need a break or that you can’t talk to them anymore. What is so difficult about that?

And queens, I know ghosting isn’t just a one way street

@AliSand 🤣

stop involving God in you bs man. do the work and stop the bs. Get well soon.

Glad to hear that!

You're welcome 😊

Nah this shit is bs, it’s perfectly valid to take time off or have some time to think when ur exhausted for any multitude of reason. This ‘psychologist’ or whoever creates an analogy and coins a term to make their point seem more ‘correct’

Also generalising a whole group of people, while mentioning no account of personal accountability makes me seriously question his validity as a psych. He also makes it seem like it’s a toxic trait by making it seem like these ‘light switchers’ are people who do ‘flip the switch’ without explaining any context, what can be toxic however is making excuses about everything, however obviously not always, again based on context. (Also explaining something in a very simple way ‘simulates’ how a psych speaks because it’s easy to hear, so it’s easy to coerce someone which is arguably more toxic)

He doesn’t understand shit, kinda like my friend who had never had any depression or long time sadness or whatever and as a result never understood why people experienced depression, to him he couldn’t comprehend it

@@kushpatel5573 bro what he said nothing wrong? Generalising? He didn’t generalise he stated the definition of a word the proceeded to explain why people like this exist.

You're awesome stay strong

lol, congrats

It's actually not, what's funny is most narcissistic mothers still get to be a mother and spend time with their children. They say go no contact with a narcissist UNTIL it's a mother,that's funny. That's why the single mother movement is so huge,yall have bought into the all men are bad mentality,yet when women are toxic its still hope she can change but men no men don't change. Funny right maybe find God and heal because God doesn't tell us to hold unforgiveness in our hearts,imagine holding a grudge for years against a man who isn't that man anymore. I swear women lack empathy unless it is for themselves,most of you use to be promiscuous,addicts drug and alcohol and mean girls maybe even cheaters. One can say you were narcissistic but you grew right? Ok well I guarantee if women learned to have empathy for men,the world would become a better place.

"it would force me to be vulnerable and I can’t do that" You can. You have a mouth to speak and fingers to write. Don't be such an egotistic a***ole.

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@AliSand So ghost..

​@AliSand There are multiple reasons why people ghost. I've found out most of the time it's simply just because they're introverted.