NOT sheering sheep is doubly cruel, considering humans are responsible for them _needing_ to be sheared in the first place. We kept selectively breeding them to produce excessive amounts of wool, meaning they could no longer naturally shed their thicker wool and rub off the excess on trees and bushes at the end of winter. We did this to them, it's now our responsibility to make sure they are treated humanely by regularly shearing them.

Honestly, Jesus's favorite gun WOULD be a nail gun, seeing as he was a carpenter.

😂😂the burrito one killed me, dude just pretty much took us on a virtual tour of what NOT to do to a burrito. Like I could picture every single part of this rant vividly in my head as I listened along😂

To be honest, Hollywood has become lazy - The difference is that its laziness is not simply the action of replacing male leads for female leads in spin-offs or reboots, but acting as if just changing the gender and or race of the main leads is somehow a substitute for good character writing.

6:41 So maybe that's why Alfred calls Batman "Master Wayne." not just the whole butler thing but because he still sees Bruce as that boy who lost his parents

The funny part about the "and nobody got pregnant" is that it's literally what a home for wayward girls is. Those girls didn't just magically leave school for 6 months, they got sent the fuck away to have the kid, usually be forced to give it up, most of the ones who didn't ended up with their kid being a sibling, and just no one ever talked about it.

"Empire of sour cream", "lettuce country", and "cheeseosphere" aren't phrases I knew I needed in my life.

58:01 Contractions are essentially when you smash two words together, remove a few letters, and throw an apostrophe between them. In this sentence, "you're" was misspelled twice. Hope this helps anyone who was curious.

This subreddit is literally an alternative to clever comeback’s

As a pro tip. Straight people aren't generally oppressed, but depending on your friend group, it can sometimes feel like it. If you find yourself in a situation where people around you aren't respecting your sexuality, whether you be gay, straight, ace, or whatever. It's a sign you need to get new friends.

23:47 This is revolting. Can we just stop shaming little girls for others actions?? These same people would probably victim blame a molested child for wearing clothes that "tempted" a grown up.

Not exactly murdered by words, but in seventh grade, I was told I'm 'built like a bagel' and laughed so hard I almost passed out.

I didnt read the title properly and thought that damien came back Edit: holy shit hes back

1:12:21 my goodness. that wasn’t a murdered by words, that was a fricking annihilation.

Sometimes I'm tempted to take notes off of this subreddit because some of this material is pure gold in the form of words.

12:06. See, the problem with that is that the blood on England's hands isn't purely Irish; it's also mixed with blood from North America, Africa, Australasia, India, and many other places in the world. EDIT: How did I forget to mention Scotland?!

its good to hear damiens voice back again in the channel even though its just a remix of older emkay videos :>

The cruelest thing my mother told me was her answer to my question of "Why didn't I get a younger sibling?" AND the answer was = Because you were such a difficult child that I lost all interests in having anymore kids.

13:55 they were probably just British since we call "chips" "crisps" here and "chips" in the UK are usually for a thicker version of fries and sometimes eaten with forks

RE burrito rant: the greatest burrito sin i've ever had committed to me is when they stuff it so full of stuff the tortilla can't contain it all and bursts open spilling out the delicious guts, and instead of replacing the wrap the line cook simply closes the tin foil and prays that the single piece of masking tape is enough to hold it together. It isn't, Barbara, and now my hands are covered with beans, rice, and sour cream.

15:03 Just wanna say satanism is in no way about worshiping satan it's about morals and rights. Also they don't sacrifice animals that was Christian's sacrificing goats for god to forgive their sins. Btw the upside down cross isn't the "anti cross" idk how Christian's got that

the burito story somewhat reminds me of my first experience at this chain Mexican resturant, I ordered steak street tacos and I felt like I was going to puke on the first bite from the INSANE amount of cilantro, like I'm not even kidding, the taco contained steak strips, chopped onion, and cilantro, the cilantro made up prob more than 1/3 of the taco, idk who made that taco but clearly they've never had cilantro cuz its not the type of food that you eat in that large amount with barely anything else (bonus, the steak was somewhat chewy and the salsa tasted/looked like ketchup with a lil bit of onion and shit) whats worse is that I had gone to a local Mexican restaurant a week or so before, and order street tacos (it was pork not steak) and it also had cilantro, but guess what, it was no more than 3 pinches worth of cilantro per taco and it tasted great. (and their salsa actually tasted like salsa, as well as having top tier salsa verde)

2:02 there was a case where this sort happened. A child was attacked by a dogs he was taken to the hospital he didn't make it. During the autopsy it was determined the kid died from stab wounds and the parents were charged. they spend 3-6 years in prison before it came to light the stab wounds were the surgeons doing trying to save the kid.

3:41 THE USERNAME MAKES THIS SO MUCH BETTER

My favorite analogy for people using they/them pronouns as both singular and plural is how Australia is both a country and a continent. You can say or use it in both ways, and you won't be wrong.

Cats are obligatory carnivores, meaning they need meat to survive. If you can't stand the thought, keep a damn rabbit.

I cant help but remember a quote from The Blacklist "My problem isn't with Religion, it's with people"..... Religion is so often used as a cheap excuse to justify bigotry.

The one who said eat chips with a fork was probably British and didn’t deserve to be slaughtered like that

4:00 this name fits the comment PERFECTLY

I remember that burrito rant on Tumblr back when it came out. I was crying from laughter then and I'm crying from laughter now.

35:52 - 39:47 This is my favorite segment of this video (and probably any Slazo Media Group video), because while the other subreddit narrations are fun to watch and listen to, issues like these are the ones that need to be talked about more (WITHOUT throwing accusations), and QUICKLY finding a REAL, WORKING SOLUTION to issues like these. I 100% agree with Blue here.

6:06 Additionally, America was specifically founded in the basis that ALL religions are welcome.

The rant at 45:58 100% my emotions! My father who constantly asks for help "I can make a program better than this. Make a program you push a button and it does." Ya old man you push the flashlight button and the flashlight turns on and off. You push the big white button to take a picture after going to the camera it will do it

37:26 I know some people will say "Yale has always been expensive." This isn't about Yale,it's about inflation. Edit:Apperently,there's more than just inflation.

39:37 This. Absolutely this. We don't need the government to take care of us, but we expect them to give us the opportunity to take care of ourselves. This is why we need affordable education.

44:47 i could FEEL the rage emenating from that post

When you said that someone who adopts a pet then freaks out that they are a responsibility was an idiot, I was amazed by how restrained and kind you were being. I would have used far more, and more stronger, words for such oxygen-wasting animal abusers.

OK, let me bring up something I found with my college students (1987-2013). When they complained about how unfair things were (food, housing, etc.) and Boomers (my generation) were ruining everything by electing people who catered to them, I asked then how many of them voted. Less than 10% did. I told them that politicians are interested in keeping their jobs, so they will cater to those who continue to vote for them. I offered the students a 100 on an exam of their choice if they registered to vote (the university had people who would come to class to pass out and collect the voter registrations) and another if they would bring evidence they voted. I didn't care for whom, just vote. Although about 80% of the classes (over the years) accepted the card, less than 20% turned them in. Of the 20% who turned them in, less than 10% actually voted. If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

28:35 is a level of destruction that deserves it's own video holy MOLEY

14:05 I think that this is more due to a language barrier than to stupidity.

Roasted like a Grilled Cheese in Texas on the sidewalk

32:58 I translated his name, and it literally means diaper rash and I can't stop laughing about it

I am not stupid enough to believe in aliens capable of space travel but each time I see the Zucc's face.. it breaks my reality

regarding the sushi thing... the reason why pregnant women are told not to eat sushi is the assumption there will be raw fish in the sushi.. the solution is to go to reputable restaurant and ask the server for suggestions for cooked rolls only, preferably with meat other than fish

9:52 Those same people also r.ped and married kids because of low lifespans. They also believed that women couldn't ride trains because their uteruses will fly out. Does she still think they was smarter?

Oh my god, the burrito one made me laugh so hard.

I feel genuinely sad for the burrito person- what could they ever have done to deserve such malice from the person who made that monstrosity? Or maybe that worker actually IS an alien. Holy crud, first contact was made and we didn't even notice!

4:09 is killing me

56:58 is the best thing ive ever seen

This is worse for churches though. I would always lock myself in the bathroom and actually try and fight my grandparents when they forced me to church. All I wanted was to spend time with my dad because he worked night shift as a nurse and would almost always sleep throughout the day. A couple years later he was murdered. It’s not even like I was listening to what the church was saying, they had to give me action figures to play with so I wouldn’t be a disruption. 29:49

24:25 damn this lady (if you can call her one) said he wasn't hot, then tried giving him another chance after he was like 'aight fine, cya'. Bro took that uncalled for disrespect and took it on the chin, but aint no way she's repairing that.

Burrito guy’s rant is the funniest part of this video, hands down.

52:16 Not to mention the fact that they used "they" as a singular in the very sentence they said it wasn't singular.

58:06, it's because the person used "your", which is the possessive form, instead of the contraction "you're", meaning "you are", twice. I also probably have a few comma splices in my explanation because I am terrible with commas, semicolons, and when I don't need either.

54:12 imagine getting humbled by the twitter account of the police lmfao

35:29 my only problem is that Ben Shapiro doesn't use facts and logic but rather his own feelings to attempt (and fail) to debunk the actual facts

1:37 Oh it's Matt Walsh, explains everything .

"Gaystapo" had me rollin

The burrito rant is one of my favourite things on the internet! 😂 1:12:20

1:01:59 Is so upseting. I had similar situation in my life where all blame gets shifted on a kid for their older relatives actions. Truelly upseting.

4:20 anne straight

the guy with teh burito rant is a legend , he propably realise what he was doing said "oh " then put nitrogliceryne on his anger for the lulz

19:58 Thank you for saying this. I'm Nonbinary, Bi and Christian and it always upsets me to hear people use the bible for hate speech. Especially, even if you just do a BIT of research you can see that current translations of the bible aren't completely accurate, and it's going to be that way when so many people of different generations re-write or translate a singular book. It is pretty easy to change the words to what they want them to say to oppress others.

1:13:09 my man explaining the physics of a burrito

0:28 as someone who has done programming, I just died laughing reading this

1:16:01 i am literally GAPING what in the six great gods of giftiesm is THIS FUCKING TAKE AND WHAT WAS THE PERSON WHO WROTE IT SMOKING?!?!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!

53:58 This one almost made me spill my wine :D

The adult classes one is ridiculous. Back in the 90’s we had classes in school like home economics, in which we learned cooking and sewing (I was fortunate enough to have parents who started teaching me these things around five). Those classes were cut because we had several superintendents in each district collecting six figures a piece and didn’t have funding for the people who were actually educating the students. So now, as adults, these people have to learn these skills. Some can learn from watching KZfaq videos and some need a more hands on approach, you know, like they used to teach in school.

I need a follow-up to the indie's birthday party story at 1:02:12 cause that shit caught me so off-guard and the reactions were genuinely priceless. bro alerted the horde

57:50 that dog is adorable yes

The burrito rant was amazing. Also my guy gasped after takin a breath halfway thru that incest rant at the end

54:46 i'm sorry that your boyfriend spent a large percentage of his money on you, how about you do the same thing relatively and pay for his tuition to a school that deserves him?

44:38 Actually chess originates in India 1- The game of chess was born in India during the Gupta dynasty in the 6th century. Today, more than 1500 years later, it is played in 172 countries. Chess is one of India's contributions to world culture, with games played in the court of kings, to those played in villages, and now, is a professional sport. (Wrong) 2- World's first irrigation system- Invented in the Indus Valley by the Indus Valley civilization. (Wrong) 3- World's first post office- England The Post Office dates way back to 1660 when it was established by Charles II. Under the guise of the General Post Office (GPO), it soon grew as an important organization integral to the infrastructure of England during the seventeenth century. (Wrong) 4- Algebra- Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi is famous for his mathematical works, which introduced Hindu-Arabic numerals and algebra to European mathematicians. In fact, the words algorithm and algebra come from his name and the title of one of his works, respectively. He was Persian. (Correct) 5- Sulphuric Acid- Today, it is generally considered that sulfuric acid was first called oil of vitriol when Islamic alchemist, astronomer, and physicist Jabir ibn Hayyan (c. 721−c. 815) discovered it in the eighth century. European alchemists also called it an oil of vitriol, along with the spirit of vitriol and vitriol. He was born in the city of Tus in the province of Khorasan in Iran in 721 AD. (Correct)

9:48 she must have been born before May 1796 Then

54:58 Getting into the UCs as an in-state student is insanely difficult as they don't want to have people paying the cheaper in-state tuition. There are a lot of very smart people from the bay area who get rejected there but still get accepted into very nice OOS schools. Being in-state there is no easy feat.

51:13 I feel like this is the exact tone the turtle would talk in if it could

1:12:31 the f⬛⬛king burrito man killed me XD

17:22 guy here, this is so fucking true, i dated a woman i was not attracted to because people told me to give her a chance... she stalked me and insulted my dead dog.

1:15:42 Gosh, I cracked up so hard over this borrito guy😂😂😂

That burito rant was genuinely so funny I had to pause the video while drinking so I didn’t choke oh my drink

Nah this subreddit is one of my favorites just due to the amount of people just getting destroyed

@3:31 The Gaystopos. 😂

1:14:30 all of this for a burrito is crazy

i like the vibe that slazo is giving out, he seems very chill. I like him

46:20 AND A ANOTHER THING the boomers are the ones who developed the technology we use how are you this incompetent you refuse to learn or listen to anyone younger than you

The pre-last (forgot how you say it) narrator was so good, the cuts were perfectly done and he knew extremely well what tone he should use in each comment. Just awesome.

About the previous generations' refusal to learn how technology works: I thought it was weaponised incompetence too until I witnessed my mother have actual mental breakdowns because she didn't understand how to get into her work emails. I swear to god something developed in our brains to deal with technology that they don't have. These people are too smart and logical in the rest of their lives to not understand that you can't scroll through one window when you're currently in another window

1:16:10 this is the guy from cynide and happines who proved his teacher wrong

My mom who is 70 who literally some how partitioned her hard drive with out a widows CD or getting into the command prompt and confused the Microsoft tech she called. I still to this day have no idea how she did it either. This woman buckled down and said no I am going to learn how to do this if it kills me. And she did.she helped her friend get her printer to hook up to the network and she only occasionally asks for help when she cannot figure out something and instead of just walking away and letting you fix it for her she stands and has you explain it and writes stuff down. So if it happens again she is good to fix it herself. People...be more like my mom who is literally the little old lady who tries to feed people all the time and knits but still will not just go ehh its too hard. I will just let someone else fix it.

3:41 😂😂😂 I can't breathe!! 😂 That's the best thing I've heard/read this week. "YASSS QUEEN" lmfao

For a minute I literally thought Giofilms was a narrator on here now... Amazing how Slazo sounds so similar to him

11:05 btw the answer is probably cloud.

OML IT'S JIM CARREY YES I LOVE THIS ROFL 53:34

5:59 Dude doesn't know about his own country... That's embarrassing...

14:00 I think this was just a miscommunication in all honesty, the OP by the sounds of his reply was referring to crisps, but sadly, they're American, so the language barrier misled the conversation

3:22 both are perfect

2:15 my sister got chicken pox at 3 and shingles at 16, and now has permanent nerve damage because of it

9:36 I don't know if I'd call Terminator 1 and 2 a remake though?

23:38 I swear, I said “Oh, boy.” Exactly how and when you said it. Lmao!

0:21 “Marky-Mark in the Zuckerbunch” Help I’m crying why did this get me so badly😭😭😭😭