1000%

Very true. A commenter shared a story about paying off his wife's debts: The first time she racked up $35,000 in credit card debt and he paid it off. She swore it would never happen again. The second time she racked up another $35,000 and he paid it off again amidst tearful promises that this was the last time. The third time she racked up $100,000 and he filed for divorce despite her promises that she had now changed. She was addicted to luxury brands (bags, perfumes, clothes and the like) and kept getting credit cards in secret.

Wh@re she is married. Not divorced with 3 kids and a dog.

Exactly, no way

She married him though!

@@alexp123e yeah that was her biggest mistake, I’m not cleaning someone else debt up

'Cause he wasn't 'raised that way' and likes to drink and party if he has excess cash. If she was a good wife she'd clean up all his debts for him.. (NOT - he won't stop drinking and spending unless HE starts hurting.)

why would you still be with someone like that?

@@Laurennn.Hughes Good question...

This is the consequence of not starting a marriage properly on the same page and combining life goals. You should never get to a point in marriage where he has “his car loan” and you have “my money”.

Neither one of you are in the marriage for long haul!

​​@@Laurennn.HughesIf she's a Christian, adultery & abandonment (probably physical abuse & threats of bodily arm) are the only legitimate reasons for a just divorce, before God. Not a lack of gratitude. Whether or not your spouse is grateful, does not give you a right to break the vows you made before God.

best advice. I agree.

Same advice applies to debt ridden wife. Its all equality n fairness

@@whereismycrewyo I agree. My ex has called me over the years because a woman who Is his equal wanted to get married. Why would he want to marry broke like himself lol

@@whereismycrewyo true

​@@whereismycrewyothe cops would literally arrest a man and call it "financial bad actions" then steal his money while calling it justice.

That's what happens unfortunately when only one partner is financially responsible. The spendthrift keeps taking more than his or her fair share of the family funds and the other person has to economize, scrimp and save constantly, to keep the bills paid, the marital roof over their heads and food on the table. It is pure selfishness. Been there, done that. And then I'd be accused of being controlling. You'd have to be, to avoid ending up in the gutter.

The only way these kinds of irresponsible people learn, is to end up in the gutter. They need to face the consequences of their own behaviour and they won't as long as a partner takes on the parent role and keeps bailing them out like a child. These kinds of people often partner hop in my experience. When the one partner gets sick of being bled dry financially, they move on to someone else, who likes to 'help them out'. Until they also catch themselves on.

Funny you say that when they tell the guys to use tgere savings to pay off the girls debt now it’s reversed it’s different , interesting

Exactly. Then when yall get it all paid off, but him a car or a boat or something really nice that he likes.

@@xsgtxbigboy1655 I agree, but if there's a risk and a result from of substance abuse, they might benefit from temporary separate accounts.

bs

Theres no your money & my money in marriage. if you dont want to combine every thing stay single.

i am in shock that a qualified therapist gave such bad advice. she said he quit on his own which means its purely performative so she can clean up his mess. they told her to give up all her money to save him WITHOUT suggesting he get treatment BEFORE she uses up her money. this is so wrong on so many levels. john should have his licence suspended for this trash advice.

Please don't. We don't want to have an intervention and send you off to AA or other rehab.

Love how you ignore the fact she spoke about how drinking addiction and bad spending habits. The advice to combine and pay will only make sense when both worries are on the same page not when one party is drinking it all.

If you take a shot every time Delony says "safe", you'd end up with alcohol poisoning.

RIP to our brother Jake

If you do that, make it fun and add “tired” to the game; it will make things more interesting.

Everything, and I mean everything, is speculative. Even a trip to the mailbox. Now most times it works out as planned, but there is always risk.

@@semosancus5506 But that's the thing everybody wants the full benefits without any risk. There are no guarantees in life

You know they have a double standard.

John is telling her to be all in. Pay attention.

@@jimmymcgill6778 What call did you listen to?

Dave doesn't work every show. That's why they just said it for him.

@@pep590 What call are you listening to? All of them have double standards when it comes to men and women.

Exactly this guy is just doing what he needs for a few months to get her to use her savings … I would not help him

@@helena3631 Exactly, trust can be lost in one day, but it takes years to rebuild.

I agree. I dated a guy in college who was an alcoholic with a great career ahead of him. I decided not to be with him bc I already knew there was no future with an alcoholic. Years later he's married and still an alcoholic but with money. Long story short, he ended up in car accident, began to drink even MORE combined with pain meds after recovery from the accident. He eventually died from the abuse of drugs and alcohol. Had another friend who married an alcoholic who cleaned up only bc the military threatened to demote him and the lose of his retirement. He cleaned up his life long enough so he could make it to retirement and began to drink again, mentally abused her and the adopted children they got together and finally divorced my friend. People don't realize alcoholism and drug abuse are twin brothers ending in the same results: Destruction and Chaos

I couldn't disagree more, theres too much nuance in every story to ever come to the same conclusion when talking about these issues. My uncle and his wife are the closest example I can think of, she ran away from him after my cousin was born, for about 2 years she didn't want anything to do with him. They've been together again for the last 29 years and raised 3 more kids to adulthood.

yeah Deloney's advice is horrible. He's urging this woman to throw her life savings away over an ideal.

Marriage is an ideal....you're either in or out

@@kariforgie457That’s nonsense! People have prenups etc for this exact reason. Stop being idealistic and naive.

Normally they do but they actually sounded fair and reasonable in this call. This is the type of advice that they should be giving regardless of gender.

The problem is, if this were a man calling in their advice eould be different. He'd be called out for living as roommates, they'd be a lecture on how brining the finances together will bring them together, and he'd be told to "man up" and get another job to make it happen.

@@stephenshelton4267 he told her to pay off her husband's debt. Pay attention.

@@stephenshelton4267 I agree they need to be fair to all their callers, not just one specific gender.

Their money advice is based on biblical teachings, which means men are going to be more responsible and get harsher treatment.

💯💯💯

I would never be assed out for nobody

You don't have anything to worry about, marriage was never in your future.

@@KH9th That's a nasty thing to say.

Why are you only attracting men that are in debt, on child support and addicts? What if I told you that the majority of men have none of those issues?

❤❤❤

❤

it shouldn't be this way.

I like this idea

Yep

You know it

One hundred million percent.

The alcoholism and the separation are the nuances they are picking up on. By the end they were telling her to go all in.

The bitter man's club never disappoints!! Clean your ears out. Hon, not a gender issue. Like John said the ONLY time they recommend caution re finances is when dealing with an ADDICT - male or female. John is saying leave the marriage it is over IF you do not feel safe duh!!! or stay and combine finances becasue marriage is a WE.

They all do

💯💯💯

Your mom should have told her daughters, don't ever get married cause I don't want you to be sneaky and dishonest.

@@beatdown3361 You mean they are all sneaky and dishonest?

@@misspiscesdreamz 100% thieves. And the same goes for the husband if he keeping money from his wife too.

Marriage doesn't work that way. She picked him, they have been together for a dozen years, she fully knew his behavior patterns and now has an issue. GTFOH! 🤣😂

@@eq2092 you don't necessarily know a person's addictions before marriage even if perfect and they certainly can develop later. People have to protect themselves or it's enabling the behavior, married or not.

@@jenniferannfox2316 Bullcrap. If you don't know what's up after a dozen years and 7-years of marriage then you are never will. People just don't magically change overnight. She picked him. So either get a divorce or deal with it.

@@eq2092 Married happily for 45 years here, so I think I know how marriage works.

@@KENTUCKYUSA1 You know how it works for you, but not everyone.

Lol ya dude its a joke. Double standards

So true.

Exactly!!!!

Thank you!!!! I was waiting to see this commentary.

Women today DEMAND all the perks & benefits without question, without ANY of the hardships.

Glad they followed Dave way.

Dave said the complete reverse yesterday.

Yep, it's not "her debt" it's "our debt".

The simp show

not if there's addiction

@@reign_wwe That's possible too. We can only go off the caller's information though...

@@reign_wwe Yes, plus she had the opportunity to trash/be smug about the husband's family as well. She's a big part of the problem.

I agree. I would wait and see if he’s really changed.

You can learn to be wise with money though. It’s not like it’s impossible. If that was the case, DR wouldn’t have a platform.

Bs. Be married or dont. Its that simple.

@@therationalistparty9742 "Be married or don't". So the WIFE gets all this debt DUMPED on HER shoulders thanks to hubbie's drinking and irresponsibility? Hubbie can CLEAN IT UP FIRST, THEN they can explore a different way forward.

@@jasonrodgers9063 be all in on the marriage or don’t be married.

It’s always a one-way street with women, lol. If she is the broke one, then she wants her husband to pay for everything, and pay off all of her debt. But if she’s the one with more money, then she doesn’t want to help pay a penny

Where is GOD?

When you are husband and wife then it ain't your husband's problems anymore it is y'alls problems.

I agree, I think the lesson in their journey lies with him. Let him feel the pain of paying off his debt and continue to demonstrate to her that he’s on the right track

​@@RetirementbyDesign26 The problem I foresee is that the working is keeping him preoccupied from drinking. Once the debt is paid will he get treatment? Because he's working with no time to go to get recovery. Or will he sit back and relax with a couple of bottles of liquor to celebrate his success of getting out of debt. There's a real danger of that happening in this scenario.

Their debts*

If the roles were reversed almost everyone would be telling for husband to pay wife's debt

Could marry someone not in debt...my wife to be only had some minor car debt and school debt. She paid it off before we got even married. We got a home together and we both paid it off together.

yeah, you can discuss how much you should get in a fund/account that's just yours and you don't need to talk about what you did with it unless you go over.

@@SpoonHurler Then don't get married because that's a risk and once you're married it's not your money anymore, it's both your money. And if it turns out they're financially irresponsible or become it then you will be responsible for at least half their debts even if you divorce.

@@Naturefan354 Rest in peace Admiral Ackbar. He said it best.

me either. Been there and done that. We don't even do that for parents or other family members either so I don't understand why these two are so not understanding of ways to protect yourself with an unsafe spouse. Basically it's the same thing.

@@Naturefan354Then don’t get married? What about prenups? Lol you can get married AND protect yourself.

men in these comment sections just want to act as victims

somebody called them the “bitter boys club” 😂😂

@@xkanyewestfanx2009Fitting. They’re in every comment section!

What's the diff. between the two sets of advice?

@@d.chapman8400 (ex-)Wives end up bringing up the babies on their own.

@@d.chapman8400 hypocrisy

it's the same advice with vastly different deliveries

@@moobs it's different

That's how marriage works. A man's money is their money. A woman's money is her money.

You clearly didn’t watch the whole thing

@@Estiexo And he said you should not combine it.

@@Estiexo 🤡

He said, pay off his debts and combine our jump ship.

Debt

No, it's really "Till Debt Do Us Part".

Yup. She needs to pay up!!!!

Yesterday

They said be all in, join him.

The only issue with that is what if he makes 100k and she makes 40k. Then after being debt free he should just keep his money separate.

This is why I don't always agree with the Ramsey system. If they were gambling debts or directly related to his drinking, he should be volunteering to pay them by himself as part of making amends. If they are part of "I am/was not as interested in paying off my reasonable debt as you are", then I might say, match dollar for dollar the extra he puts towards the debts and once it is clear, join money.

@@sharonfleshman6961 You still agree with the general principle of married couples combining finances. You're just deciding what he would have to do to earn your trust back so you can go back to being a married couple. The caller has to figure out her own criteria or if there is anything he can do to earn back her trust. It sounds like she trusts his sobriety ("I'm not worried about him relapsing). I'd infer that at some point he can earn her trust financially.

Exactly. If I was her I wouldn't join finances until he paid off all the debt he ran up.

@@megalodon1726 then why would he want to join finances after? Sounds like he makes more money

People that drinks does not mean they have a drinking problem.

I think they already did FPU. They’re following the program, just not the combined finances.

That is a fair question.

Where is the double standard when they just told her combine the finance and help pay the debt? Did you listen?

@@shachede6828 not sarcastically but do have you heard when men call in saying this? They treat is so differently. Also are you a female by chance?

I’m so confused by your comment they literally said she’s the problem

@@naomirachel9161 we can all agree the exact same thing can be said two completely different ways right? Obviously you would agree with that. Now you may not think that's what happened here but I and alot of other comments do. I think they treated her with kid gloves meanwhile exact situation but a man calls they don't treat him the same.

Yeah they would tell her pay off their debt since they are married.

Right! I’m not a fan of John’s anyway.

But the 24.000 dollars might not be the end of it. He can't be trusted. That's the whole problem.

I completely disagree. Read the KZfaq titles for The Dave Ramsey Show and the titles for the Dr. John Delony Show. John helps the show and should be on occasionally. This is not the Dr. Phil show, it's a finance show.

This

He did very well on this call. He was spot on.

Delony is the best!!!! 🎉

@@flashthecorgi2053 You high?

I think what he is saying is true and the caller just didn’t realize it until Delony pointed it out.

@@jimmymcgill6778 No, and it’s clear to me that you don’t like Delony but what he said in this whole video is 100% true and i believe they would say the same thing matter of fact just watch a couple financial questions on the Delony show he tells men and women to be all in or be all out. Same thing he is saying here you are just choosing not to listen because you don’t like him.

They had to dig a little.

Women holding women accountable. Wh-wh-wh-whaaaaat?

She is right not to trust him thought.

So basically what they told her. Either woman up and pay the debt or get out of the relationship.

Keep $ as permanent emergency fund ( Health….) and save together for a vacation. Renewing vows is not expensive. DONT pay off his or her splurges with the savings.

I would do exactly this!