Timothy Dexter: The Dumbest Rags-to-Riches Story
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Sources:
priceonomics.com/the-strange-...
www.newenglandhistoricalsociet...
historicipswich.org/2015/01/0...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy...
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Intro and outro song:
"Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
4:00 - 4:08
@gagewong7251 4 жыл бұрын
The vibe I’m getting from this video: *Man literally too dumb to be poor*
@DisDatK9 4 жыл бұрын
Gage Wong there is hope for us after all..
@AhmadHassan-nt4gf 4 жыл бұрын
Or he could be soo smart he just registers as dumb to us regular mortals 😭
@jalapeno_scumbag 4 жыл бұрын
666th like
@mookfaru835 4 жыл бұрын
@john Yea no way a idiot can get lucky so many times. He’s probably really smart. He doesn’t give a shit about petty social bs. Also texts can’t capture his character probably
@calebbarrick1983 4 жыл бұрын
A.K.A “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”
@wandsofpage 4 жыл бұрын
Strength: 1 Perception: 1 Endurance: 1 Charisma: 1 Intelligence: 1 Agility: 1 Luck: 11 Perks: Idiot Savant
@petrsukenik9266 4 жыл бұрын
Moron perk
@Cheasle2 4 жыл бұрын
Intelligence: 1d4 (-5)
@whistlerdan7718 4 жыл бұрын
Barter 101
@markcrawford5810 4 жыл бұрын
Congratulations this is actually funny./not sarcasm
@youreverythingchannel9490 4 жыл бұрын
Luck is infinite.
@thatmaninthevan3858 Жыл бұрын
So Dexter was definitely lucky, but a lot of what made him rich was sending things to places that had never seen any. No one else would think to send stray cats to anyone, but when they’re sent somewhere with no cats, they become the only source of a new commodity.
@jadonstorer2375 Жыл бұрын
It's why marketers try so hard to find untapped markets, it's way easier to do business with someone that hasn't had the chance to do it before.
@zzzetww4968 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, but that wasn't the case with sending coal to Newcastle
@notusingmyname2634 11 ай бұрын
really sending cats places to anywhere with rats is kind of a good idea
@toastedt140 10 ай бұрын
@@notusingmyname2634ground nesting birds probably disagree
@chicagotypewriter2094 9 ай бұрын
@@toastedt140 agreed fuck feral cats
@calvinsears1621 Жыл бұрын
"And this Informer of Deer realized that, for the first time, there were a lot of bucks in Malden." This is pure poetry. What a banger of a line. Sam exists on an intellectual plane beyond our understanding
@insectoid_creature Жыл бұрын
Shakespeare’s ghost absolutely possessed Sam to write that
@alfalldoot6715 Жыл бұрын
@@insectoid_creature More like Sam possessed Shakespeare when he wrote all his plays
@nersharific813 Жыл бұрын
An intellectual plane below Dexter though!
@SentientIrisu 11 ай бұрын
@@alfalldoot6715 More like Sam IS Shakespeare.
@litapd311 7 ай бұрын
lines that go hard as hell
@nerdgirl28 4 жыл бұрын
My favorite quote in the book: "I meane No hurt to A flie only when he bits me then I kils the flye"
@nolanimates1595 4 жыл бұрын
Wat
@captainclasher6459 4 жыл бұрын
@@nolanimates1595 I don't mean to hurt a fly, only when it bites me, then I kill the fly
@Shaun_Jones 4 жыл бұрын
How do you misspell the same word twice in the same sentence?
@akrybion 4 жыл бұрын
@@Shaun_Jones I am convinced this man's life was the biggest act of trolling known to history.
@raimondsstokmanis1892 4 жыл бұрын
@@akrybion I think Diogenes has him beat.
@TheBookloverforever 4 жыл бұрын
"The fool didn't know it was impossible, so he did it."
@simonjoss4000 4 жыл бұрын
According to all known laws of logic, there is no way an idiot should be able to become rich. Its brain is too small to get its fat little ego off the ground. Timothy dexter, of course, gets rich anyway because idiots don't care what humans think is impossible.
@sleepydevilz 4 жыл бұрын
Simon Joss i??? Love you??? what???
@dilophosaurussk4333 4 жыл бұрын
I like how this could be used to describe da orkz from warhammer lol
@aguest6361 4 жыл бұрын
@@sleepydevilz tf does your comment say
@sleepydevilz 4 жыл бұрын
The nachos are a trap “i love you what” with 10,000 ?’s
@officersoulknight6321 9 ай бұрын
Not gonna lie the part where he made an entire page of punctuation at the end of his “book” and told people to just stick them in wherever is absolutely amazing
@takepan631 3 ай бұрын
imagine him in 21 century, dude will be the best shitposter in the world
@bobbyb42 9 ай бұрын
I looked up a digital copy of "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones". It is absolutely incomprehensible. The guy spelled most words wrong, used zero punctuation, and the stuff I could make out still made little sense. His writing skills peaked when he dropped out of 2nd grade and they never got better. Absolutely incredible.
@peterkerr4019 2 ай бұрын
you're a truly dedicated alumni to Sam's academy. Well done.
@firewolfcaves 4 жыл бұрын
So this is where the phrase “dumb luck” came from
@bobman4223 4 жыл бұрын
Quite literally.
@bobman4223 4 жыл бұрын
Honestly watch KoRn-Evolution and tell me who they're talking about as the bottom of the totem pole. We all got shit to do. "Enjoy the gift."
@emilandersen8804 4 жыл бұрын
@@bobman4223 ?
@arandomuser9459 4 жыл бұрын
Yup.
@jayschalla5929 4 жыл бұрын
“wait a minute... share... skill” "Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga Yoda death noise"
@Billyjoe78517 4 жыл бұрын
Jay Schalla 😂😂
@gedgemondod8808 4 жыл бұрын
My fav part
@jaygryska317 4 жыл бұрын
FUCK I knew I knew the yell
@fenton2986 4 жыл бұрын
Channeling his inner Sir Pelo
@far0145 4 жыл бұрын
I always kill Yoda intentionally to laugh at the death sound lol
@SlamifiedBuddafied Жыл бұрын
Timothy Dexter didn't simply have good RNG on birth, the man was clearly RNG encapsulated in a bipedal shell of madness and flesh.
@jadonstorer2375 Жыл бұрын
He was the generator for random numbers
@agentdoggo6085 10 күн бұрын
RNGesus really did bless the man
@JackHankeAnd Жыл бұрын
I grew up in this guy's hometown, about a mile from his old mansion (now mostly demolished and replaced with a public library). I always thought he deserved way more attention - even wrote a play about him in high school (which was truly dreadful). Good to see him getting the attention he deserves.
@bavarianbanshee 10 ай бұрын
So, does that mean some of the mansion is still standing?
@thorinpalladino2826 10 ай бұрын
@@bavarianbanshee At least 2 of the houses he owned are still standing. One is the public library. It was damages when the YMCA next door burned down and there is a major addition. The other one is a white mansion that is the one mostly associated with Dexter. That one also caught fire during a renovation, but was fixed up.
@griffinbaker3509 9 ай бұрын
Can we see the play, please?
@JackHankeAnd 9 ай бұрын
@@griffinbaker3509 Absolutely not. It's horrifyingly bad, lol. 17-year-old me had NO idea how to write dialogue.
@cupwasneverhere 9 ай бұрын
@@JackHankeAndI don't care, we need the Timothy Dexter Play.
@Overlord99762 4 жыл бұрын
"He sold fish and porn" such a wonderful lifestyle
@cougarhunter33 4 жыл бұрын
And fish-scented porn.
@Overlord99762 4 жыл бұрын
@@cougarhunter33 mmmmmMmmm
@autobothilt7864 4 жыл бұрын
Fish-Scented like your mom
@Overlord99762 4 жыл бұрын
@@autobothilt7864 Aight that's where I draw the line, bud
@Cybrtronlazr 4 жыл бұрын
@@Overlord99762 he isn't lying, it was disgusting last night
@Bob-wr1md 4 жыл бұрын
This dude is the very impersonation of: Error: Success
@GioPotatoes 4 жыл бұрын
Windows Alert Task failed successfully
@boomstick617 4 жыл бұрын
| Windows alert | Trade: Task failed successfully.
@smoothkiminal6835 4 жыл бұрын
1000th like
@BrassWing 4 жыл бұрын
Impersonation? I think you mean to say "personification"
@Bob-wr1md 4 жыл бұрын
@@BrassWing oh yes, you are right. Sorry, English is my second language. I always thought "impersonation" means "personification"
@seminVdemin 11 ай бұрын
he so delusional he gained plot armor 💀
@helikaon5 Жыл бұрын
Im related to this man, and my grandma has an original copy of the book. His foundation contacted me at one point trying to set up a database of relatives or something. anyway, he was wild lol
@TheBlackManMythLegend Жыл бұрын
Very Wild lol
@pokepoke1889 9 ай бұрын
What happened to that
@mustbetheSUN 5 ай бұрын
Commenting just in case some of that family luck will rub onto me
@bavarianplaguedoctor 4 ай бұрын
One of the substitute teachers at my school is allegedly related to the winner of the last civil war in England, Oliver Cromwell
@Arcademan09 3 ай бұрын
Yeah I'm gonna need an update, this man is a legend
@Zeruel3 4 жыл бұрын
"Not invading Russia in winter" If Dexter had tried it we'd be talking about Tsar Timothy I right now
@tardigrade8019 4 жыл бұрын
I believe you are trying to refer to Tiser teMosy te fist? its important to spell it as he would
@davidj3841 4 жыл бұрын
1. Invades russia in winter. 2. All the clothes manufactures catch fire simultaniously so the entire russian army freezez in the cold. 3.Profit
@michaelbuckers 4 жыл бұрын
@@davidj3841 By the time you burn anything, the soldiers already have their winter clothes on.
@Yafama 4 жыл бұрын
Mi 28 a new material with long lasting repercussions was being tested on all soldiers due to its other benefits
@trinar.s.6550 4 жыл бұрын
1. Start invasion in winter 2. Get to Russia by mid spring 3. Bulk of war happens in summer, russian army is shredded 4. Tsar surrenders, war is won
@absolutenightmare9577 4 жыл бұрын
“For those of you born after 1850” Thanks for giving us thought, Sam. We are too overlooked.
@jackryan2612 4 жыл бұрын
Shut up, I'm sick of you lost generation brats and your automobiles and radio devices
@lanceosage1072 4 жыл бұрын
With your Landlines and your dial-up
@sheepyart856 4 жыл бұрын
LanCe O'Sage and your meerio keers
@diorsxf 4 жыл бұрын
Sheepy Art and you being young
@loaf_bloke_will_eat_ur_soul998 4 жыл бұрын
@@diorsxf and your Gameboys and PlayStations😑
@dusannestorovic5699 Жыл бұрын
This man had such a warped perception of reality that the world around him actually started warping as well to his advantage
@AYVYN 4 ай бұрын
🗿
@Lazare7782 3 ай бұрын
Bro became an ork from 40k
@bartudundar3193 Жыл бұрын
Timothy Dexter was universe's way of correcting the impact of Diogenes.
@agentdoggo6085 10 күн бұрын
Yeah probably
@kayakisaboat9049 4 жыл бұрын
“This informer of deer realized that for the first time, there were a lot of bucks in Malden” A beautiful pun
@janbruggemann5636 4 жыл бұрын
FUCK HOW DID I MISS IT 4 TIMES
@Coolboy-zp9jg 4 жыл бұрын
I... it went so over my head, I was thinking like “oh is that an idiom or something” then I saw your comment.
@ComradeHellas 4 жыл бұрын
Surely there must have been more Celtic than Bucks fans at Malden.
@bigdog7632 4 жыл бұрын
Wordplay aren’t puns
@raydan6071 4 жыл бұрын
Kaya Robin I don’t get it... Could you explain please ?
@royalblanket 4 жыл бұрын
"What do you wanna be when you grow up?" "Informer of deer"
@somerandomguy___ 4 жыл бұрын
“Informer of deer in a place that doesn’t have deers”*
@Gloomdrake 4 жыл бұрын
Some random Guy *deer
@robertvillafan1220 4 жыл бұрын
Beer* 😂
@sirblankface7607 4 жыл бұрын
"Ok so as a deer you're supposed to stand it this tree clearing, eating grass. Every so often you have to look up and scan your surroundings, but if you hear rustling in the bushes, you gotta run off because you're supposed to be afraid of everything. Also, if you're ever on a long stretch of road at night and see a car driving through, you have to either stand right in front of it or run directly in its path, you can't wait off to the side. Don't ask me why, just do it!"
@kb3408 4 жыл бұрын
That's pretty close to what I actually wanna do
@GoofySnoobertWasTakenSomehow Жыл бұрын
Now that he's back, it's time to binge every single video again
@Jupa Жыл бұрын
Lmao that’s why I’m here too 😂
@Gabe-Fox Жыл бұрын
We are here with you brethren!
@mirjanbouma Жыл бұрын
Same!
@rebel6301 Жыл бұрын
agree
@tamsuemomwife Жыл бұрын
Name makes sense
@valmid5069 Жыл бұрын
*Hilariously lucky, he’s basically if Homer Simpson and Forrest Gump are combined to one person*
@Error-5478 4 жыл бұрын
"Anyone who felt like whining can stick them where they want them" Yeah this man was actually a genius.
@SherlockHo1mes 4 жыл бұрын
Yung Xeelee plese*
@JotaroKujo-nj4bx 3 жыл бұрын
He was just trying to cover up the fact he was a Time Traveler
@Anonymous-df8it 2 жыл бұрын
I would have stuck them in the wrong spots just to be a troll!
@eevee7663 Жыл бұрын
OH MY GOD DID YOU WATCH THE EXACT SAME VIDEO AS EVERYONE ELSE AND LAUGHED AT THE SAME JOKE THAT WAS PUT INTO THE EXACT SAME VIDEO THAT EVERYONE ELSE WHO WATCHED THIS VIDEO ALSO SAW OH WOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M DYING AND I AM SO GLAD YOU DECIDED TO MAKE THIS AMAZING TOP TIER NOBEL PRIZE NOMINEE OF A COMMENT, HAIL 2 YOU MF
@doddermodd 6 ай бұрын
"They may peper and solt them where they plese"
@MM-bj8og 4 жыл бұрын
A poet that sells fish *AND* porn for a living. I've never heard that one before.
@ryan_uwu 4 жыл бұрын
It can be all at once: f i s h s m u t w r i t e r
@Infinite8blue 4 жыл бұрын
He must secretly be Japanese
@ghoulbuster1 4 жыл бұрын
Fish cutter at day meat rubber at night
@boartank 4 жыл бұрын
Literally: Hentai has the same origins.
@deusvult9362 4 жыл бұрын
Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. "A poet, a fisherman, and a porno salesman walk into a bar."
@jamespeck4840 Жыл бұрын
I bought “A Pickle for the Knowing Ones”. It’s a pretty insane read. The sheer luck of this dude is staggering
@ttan5076 2 жыл бұрын
This is the smartest person on earth, people still be talkin about him today. We’re just pawns in his sick game of manipulation, lies, and sheer luck.
@Aaa-vp6ug 6 ай бұрын
Mostly luck, and also being abused physically, according to his memoir.
@warmwater8498 4 жыл бұрын
"He sold fish for a living... and porn." *_It ain't much, but it's honest work._*
@piggip869 4 жыл бұрын
hey that porn selling fish merchant is the best damn poet a man can find!
@okok...ok. 4 жыл бұрын
Hell yeah
@daffawaffa 4 жыл бұрын
"There's only one business in the galaxy that could possibly get you this rich"
@NuDavai 4 жыл бұрын
I was the thousandth like
@derekwang2215 4 жыл бұрын
fish4hoes.com
@krimsonfel3676 4 жыл бұрын
Timothy Dexter: “Reality can be whatever I want.”
@thepopulargirl1784 4 жыл бұрын
Also T Dex: "I am inevitable."
@ohitsstar1241 4 жыл бұрын
Townspeople: “We’re about to end this mans whole career” Timothy Dexter: “No”
@dhruvpawar3733 4 жыл бұрын
he has the reality stone. thanos is behind im
@mookfaru835 4 жыл бұрын
@octo lol extactly that’s so funny
@robynballew5792 4 жыл бұрын
Dhruv Pawar I got that reference 😂
@nosorab3 Жыл бұрын
"Dexter made sure to surround himself with the requisite number of weirdos to maintain this level of delusion." This sentence explains the entourages you see surrounding celebrities and trust fund babies perfectly.
@user-nz3pn3cd9x 10 ай бұрын
He's such a great felosfer. This entire video in a nutshell: Money went way up, Dexter's laughing.
@Jjames763 4 жыл бұрын
Describing Timothy’s two children as “a half-mad drunk” and “a completely mad drunk” is an epic 18th-century burn. Kudos, long-dead journalist!
@SavageGreywolf 4 жыл бұрын
in fairness if you had Timothy Dexter for a dad you probably would be doing well to only be a half-mad drunk.
@DisorientedWanderer 4 жыл бұрын
Part of me wants to witness the difference between half mad drunk and completely mad drunk.
@wisemankugelmemicus1701 3 жыл бұрын
It was the New England Historical Society. So, maybe? Like it's a modern insult but maybe someone said it historically?
@liamryan7239 3 жыл бұрын
The historical society said that though, so I think it’s a modern place that said it
@davizitopa7252 3 жыл бұрын
The fact that he would not acknowledge the existence of his wife to others and explain her out as a ghost of some sort is just the best thing I've ever heard. It's like a bit from an absurdist comedy except it happened in real life. It's my new favorite thing in the world.
@guardosha73671 4 жыл бұрын
Imagine being the “informer of deer”, then finding out that there are no deer in Massachusets.
@brooklynpayge4221 4 жыл бұрын
"Well this makes my job a lot fuckin easier"
@AxxLAfriku 4 жыл бұрын
Imagine being the best KZfaqr of all time yes that's what it's like to be me
@Toki_the_Sponge 4 жыл бұрын
It’s a life changer
@jacobms911 4 жыл бұрын
Plenty of time to consider how impressively fucked up it is that they managed to kill every last deer in Massachusetts though
@BenBike 4 жыл бұрын
I see deer all the time in Massachusetts. Just saying
@catalin2766 10 ай бұрын
The man was literally a real life 40k ork. He believed to be a genius businessmen so reality bent around him to make it true! Bloody hell
@capybara3098 Жыл бұрын
"ok now go send some water bottles to the fish" By some stroke of luck, all the fish were washed on a desert because of the worlds strongest Tsunami to be seen by mankind, and the fish were so thankful that they gave the man the biggest pearls they could find from clams
@liahuribe2126 4 жыл бұрын
“Jonathan sold fish for a living...and porn” He is living his best life
@liahuribe2126 3 жыл бұрын
Σאgßと i didnt need this but like, cool
@13Rats 3 жыл бұрын
I now finally see what I want to be when I grow up.
@zadthebard5740 3 жыл бұрын
@Jace James What does Brazil have to do with it?
@shadowling77777 3 жыл бұрын
What’s the difference
@Garchomp808 3 жыл бұрын
I may need a link
@lou8215 4 жыл бұрын
"I meane No hurt A flie only when he bits me then I kils the flye" -Timothy Dexter
@dopaminecloud 4 жыл бұрын
"I only mean to say that there is never a reason for aggression until I have been specifically slighted." -Dimothy Texter
@ricsan6120 4 жыл бұрын
Fly is kil
@ryanhernandez1877 4 жыл бұрын
@@ricsan6120 no
@big_doinks3038 4 жыл бұрын
Bars.
@abandonedchannel2819 4 жыл бұрын
"But Spyders I Wnt to beet with Pan becas thy Beg spoki and Thy beg Ugli And Am no Lik the Spyders" -Also Timothy Dexter
@Marcomanexists Жыл бұрын
I find it hilarious that people tried to ruin him with bad advice constantly only to make him more successful 😂
@julietterichard7642 Жыл бұрын
6:08 "this year, i lost my wife - stop telling everyone im dead ! - sometimes i can still hear her voice" kind of energy
@platygetzkillz2144 3 жыл бұрын
I think GameStop did some praying to Timothy Dexter this year
@callmeanon660 3 жыл бұрын
Definitely
@blockbreaker8839 3 жыл бұрын
Don’t forget AMC
@GRAV3YARDMUSIC 3 жыл бұрын
@@blockbreaker8839 AMC this AMC that when AM i gonna C sum titties
@Jas13579 3 жыл бұрын
@@GRAV3YARDMUSIC are you okay ??
@covertautumn 3 жыл бұрын
Don’t we all?
@flop645 4 жыл бұрын
The page filled with punctuation marks is honestly a pretty smart joke
@nondescriptusername3665 4 жыл бұрын
That's a fucking boss move
@NeedForMadnessSVK 4 жыл бұрын
Absolute power move. What a Chad.
@SI0AX 4 жыл бұрын
@@Maxistential He meant that it was a good joke as in Dexter trolling the people who negatively criticized his lack of use of punctuation. So he just put all the punctuation randomly at the end.
@ck7993 4 жыл бұрын
e
@ck7993 4 жыл бұрын
pfp
@Gaster_Undertale1337 8 ай бұрын
I love that when dexter’s elites tell him what he should do, he stares off into space with the most astonished look on his face, as of the secrets of the world has just been revealed to him.
@AuroraIceFlame Ай бұрын
3:03 the pause afterwards is so perfect sam is a comedic genius
@darkmega97 4 жыл бұрын
This man was actually delusional enough to bend reality to his will
@ashantinyongo7632 4 жыл бұрын
He was *dense* enough
@jasonng04 4 жыл бұрын
Ashanti Nyongo Bending space time with his density
@Androidonator 4 жыл бұрын
Car Red car fast
@0whatman 4 жыл бұрын
a true shonen protagonist lmao
@DuckcuD 4 жыл бұрын
this man was a 40k orc
@dramaking4761 4 жыл бұрын
Timothy: I've been so lonely since Elizabeth died. Elizabeth: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M DEAD! Timothy: I can still hear her voice.
@DajuSar 4 жыл бұрын
I saw what you did there
@noodlesoup5995 4 жыл бұрын
This reads like a Dilbert comic
@chasjetty8729 Жыл бұрын
The upper crust pie face makes me smile. Every. Single. Time.
@cosmosveil9355 10 ай бұрын
Timothy Dexter- the most pure specimen of a sigma male in recorded history
@PingasMonkey3rdClass 4 жыл бұрын
Strength: 0 Perception: 0 Endurance: 0 Charisma: 0 Intelligence: 0 Agility: 0 Luck: 10
@gh0rochi363 4 жыл бұрын
Luck: 100
@hadriandwyer2191 4 жыл бұрын
"Not what I would have chosen for ya, but hey, it is what it is"
@leothebackgroundsheep3010 4 жыл бұрын
In base 1 000 000 000
@jakubrejzekjunior7349 4 жыл бұрын
Where did he spend the remaining 25 stat points? I think he has found hidden perks in the starter menu.
@hadriandwyer2191 4 жыл бұрын
Wild Wasteland level 25.
@poopoopp69 4 жыл бұрын
i tried to read a pickle for the knowing ones but it actually gave me a headache and now im in genuine awe of how anyone can decipher this lunatics rambling
@bernebelmont1857 4 жыл бұрын
So it basically is a piece of lovecraftian anomaly
@Swordsoulreaver 4 жыл бұрын
I can't read it without laughing for like, 3 minutes straight. This man was a fucking comedian, I'm pretty sure his book only sold because people thought it was funny.
@ratinapillowfort 4 жыл бұрын
Yeah just look at this "so I can tak the kee in side and haye fier works in the toume pipes and tobacker & A speaking trumpet and & bibel to Read & sum good songs"
@risymian3374 4 жыл бұрын
@@ratinapillowfort what the f- i just read
@foxydash9992 4 жыл бұрын
I'm a person don't mind me that’s worse then a Scottish accent
@GuLolo 10 ай бұрын
I am very thankful for this video. It helped me a lot. I used it as an example during my final oral exams in highschool and I have got 100%. Thank you Sam and thank you Timothy. Your illiteracy gave me maximum points
@robertnixon7447 8 ай бұрын
That's honestly the best ad transition I've ever seen
@martingonzalezcapriles3569 3 жыл бұрын
plot twist: he made himself look stupid because he didnt want to look suspicious because of his ability to see the future
@hajimeokajima 3 жыл бұрын
Hmm... He was a Malkavian.
@lovelyhomeboy2782 3 жыл бұрын
@@hajimeokajima vampire the masquerade reference
@lonewanderer1328 3 жыл бұрын
@@lovelyhomeboy2782 Go even further beyond, into the world of darkness
@Vedlom 3 жыл бұрын
@@hajimeokajima Holy shit his biography does sound like a Malkavian LARPing as a Ventrue.
@notaaronburr3177 3 жыл бұрын
genius
@distantraven2566 11 ай бұрын
I know I have watched all your videos even twice or thrice in the last week (again). But I do enjoy them a lot. Much appreciated man, hope you the best
@RatGirlComatose Жыл бұрын
The return is imminent
@TheLettuceApprentuce Жыл бұрын
how the hell did you know
@damienjones1487 Жыл бұрын
Prophet
@funnyfirefishfan Жыл бұрын
Hail the prophet
@mirjanbouma Жыл бұрын
Excuse me what the fu-
@junoguten 4 жыл бұрын
"Wait a minute, share, skill" "It's ya boi Raid: Shadow Legend"
@patio123 4 жыл бұрын
“Just kidding I’m not a shave out THIS VIDEO IS SPON*gets shot*”
@yaboi6006 4 жыл бұрын
junoguten no it’s me
@junoguten 4 жыл бұрын
Wow, did I make top 5 comments on a Sam Onella video?! Hi mom!
@vincenthernandez7819 4 жыл бұрын
its an rpg pvp on pcp, for people with adhd, OMG
@notsurewhy3263 4 жыл бұрын
@@junoguten yuck
@considerthetubes2864 4 жыл бұрын
*”you, my son, you shall be the one with all the figgy pudding”* -RNGesus
@frenchsoldier8485 3 жыл бұрын
To this day, I ask myself: what the Hell is figgy pudding?
@heathbar9617 3 жыл бұрын
THE VOICE
@gatorpog9752 3 жыл бұрын
French Soldier well it’s quite simple figgy pudding is figgy pudding
@frenchsoldier8485 3 жыл бұрын
@@gatorpog9752 what is figgy?
@gatorpog9752 3 жыл бұрын
French Soldier it’s a nickname for a fruit called a fig
@bobbybobman3073 2 ай бұрын
I swear this video never will cease to make me laugh.
@Fizzsama Жыл бұрын
I'm sorry, but the page full of nothing but punctuation is the most chad move I've ever heard of
@fluffiddy6515 4 жыл бұрын
Can we have Forest Gump? “We have Forest Gump at home.” Forest Gump at home:
@akrobeau 4 жыл бұрын
Forrest*
@xhypeinferno8883 4 жыл бұрын
akrobeau be quiet ugly
@itwasntmeemtnsawit3509 4 жыл бұрын
@@xhypeinferno8883 be quite ugly
@ballboys607 4 жыл бұрын
@@funnydummy3701 fuck off
@trod146 4 жыл бұрын
Come up with something original you lazy tard
@alienworm1999 4 жыл бұрын
you forgot to mention his exploits in the East Indies, where he hauled a ship's worth of mittens to Thailand and sold them to Portuguese merchants who happened to be passing through on their way to China
@m.rsoda-can1868 4 жыл бұрын
instead of being a merchant he could have started gambling and still will make a lot of money
@thedeliveryboy1123 4 жыл бұрын
when you out-sam the o'nella
@stealthkyro1531 4 жыл бұрын
Logan 1500th like btw
@ericsilver9401 4 жыл бұрын
@@stealthkyro1531 who asked?
@stealthkyro1531 4 жыл бұрын
Eric Silver awfully nice of you to care enough about a comment to put a reply
@oliverzicht7769 Жыл бұрын
This is my favorite sam o’nella vid
@av3stube480 Жыл бұрын
So it seems I'm rewatching every Sam O'Nella video. Yet again. I like it.
@1406house 4 жыл бұрын
I look at “a pickle for the knowing ones” and one of the genres is “humor”
@birisuandrei2866 4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@aroobism 4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@birisuandrei2866 4 жыл бұрын
@@aroobism you copied my comment, I'm going to sue you
@aroobism 4 жыл бұрын
Birisu Andrei actually I speak mexaconian
@emilie6466 4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@kabobawsome 4 жыл бұрын
This man has a 1 in every stat, but a feat that lets him take 20 on literally every roll he makes.
@SavageGreywolf 4 жыл бұрын
he's playing Fallout with a 1 in Intelligence and a 10 in Luck.
@VulpesFidelis 4 жыл бұрын
@@SavageGreywolf …and that's all you need. Ain't both worlds grand?
@tinycockjock1967 3 жыл бұрын
Min-maxing is a viable strategy. It’s called a build and he went with the “Blissful idiot” build
@Perrirodan1 3 жыл бұрын
@@VulpesFidelis Don't they say" It's better to be lucky than good"
@guyman9655 3 жыл бұрын
Legit. Man's crit rolled on litterally every life skill check
@strategystuff5080 Жыл бұрын
The comedy and writing in the videos is so so good
@hensli 9 ай бұрын
I miss this man’s videos… the old ones are still here, but you can only watch them for so long…
@Ganerrr 3 жыл бұрын
"an entire page of punctuation" LMAO THIS DUDE THIS DUDE
@LTD538 3 жыл бұрын
Thats dexter for you
@logando3305 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah he really showed them and he was an absolute legend he is just really smart isnt he he isnt as stupid as he looks ....... (fill them in yourself)
@canadariots1139 3 жыл бұрын
this is a stupid comment
@melanie5403 3 жыл бұрын
378 67 107
@Fivzk 3 жыл бұрын
----////////::::::::;;;;;;;;(((((((())))))))””””””””................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,????????!!!!!!!!’’’’’’’’~~~•••+++
@lukeurry8401 4 жыл бұрын
“not invading russia in winter but the other one” *Oversimplified has entered the chat*
@flawlessbinary7449 4 жыл бұрын
Fact: both France and Germany never invaded Russia in the winter.
@wsx3268 4 жыл бұрын
Flawless Binary Sure, but shit planning made them stay ‘till Winter.
@liam961 4 жыл бұрын
@@flawlessbinary7449 fact: they both continued during winter
@Odinsday 4 жыл бұрын
@@flawlessbinary7449 They both eventually got mauled lol
@MotionMcAnixx 4 жыл бұрын
The Germans and French know Russia like snowbody's business.
@tomribei Жыл бұрын
This might actually be one of the funniest videos, or piece of media in general, I've ever seen. Makes me laugh every time.
@seansmith6255 Жыл бұрын
3 years later Still one of your best
@ajorsomething4935 4 жыл бұрын
"They may peper and solt it as they please" what a legend
@joekennedy4093 4 жыл бұрын
*plese
@ilkkarautio2449 4 жыл бұрын
He rules, im going to do that too! Fuck grammR, its mine now!
@sammayson-dobson7866 4 жыл бұрын
"Thay may peper and solt it as they plese" is the best phrase ever and we should bring it back.
@suzannewalsh3341 4 жыл бұрын
YES!
@blakebramley9171 4 жыл бұрын
You can really hear the colonial New England accent based on his misspelling of the words he wrote
@KaneyoriHK 10 ай бұрын
I forgot about the scream of agony Sam gives when he transitions into the ad segment. I died laughing.
@1998topornik 10 ай бұрын
Timothy Dexter: low intelligence but maxed luck.
@nissnynass 10 ай бұрын
yea like 100% fortane
@tashkent561 3 жыл бұрын
Can't tell if he made the page filled with punctuations to be a troll or because he genuinely thought it was what the publishers wanted
@optimisticwatermelon 3 жыл бұрын
Probably both.
@Jaymac720 3 жыл бұрын
*y e s*
@phd-lc7fv 3 жыл бұрын
My guess is, he thought he was smart, he got angry when got told otherwise, threw a hissy fit
@Shadowknght949 3 жыл бұрын
@@phd-lc7fv that sounds about right. He did shoot at someone to change their sign afterall.
@elecric 3 жыл бұрын
where did you get the pfp Before that was an ahegao lol
@theanonymouswayz3566 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve read A Pickle For The Knowing Ones. I’ll have you know I’m a lot smarter having read it. Before I read it I was a nobody working a 9-5 like everyone else but when I read it all of the sudden everything around me turned to gold and the neighbor down stairs turned into a maid. I live in luxury now Thank You Timothy Dexter!
@iamme2739 3 жыл бұрын
Lol
@sumvs5992 3 жыл бұрын
But yoo ar stil yoozing puncchooaishun so you clerly didunt understannd thu buk wel inuff
@theanonymouswayz3566 3 жыл бұрын
@@sumvs5992 ,,,,,,,, ......... !!!!!!!! ???????? ''''''''''''''''''' ::::::::::::::::: //////////// ------------- ======== ________
@kellyjohnson8430 3 жыл бұрын
@@theanonymouswayz3566 🤣🤣
@miguellgeorge9869 3 жыл бұрын
I Am from The younited stayts an I am Very rich
@solgerWhyIsThereAnAtItLooksBad Жыл бұрын
1:40 I love how he went through the effort of leaving out Vermont and Maine but didnt give Virginia back West Virginia
@soulassassin0g Жыл бұрын
2:58 I like how there's a statue of Emperor Norton and Michael Malloy in the mix lol.
@kugul1683 3 жыл бұрын
He's such a great felosfer
@MisterHunterWolf 2 жыл бұрын
that.
@nuclearbomb9483 2 жыл бұрын
Phosphorus?
@thingytheretxrd 2 жыл бұрын
@@nuclearbomb9483 yes he's a great phosphorus
@strangemiscellaneousfruit9222 2 жыл бұрын
jorge wahsignton has nothing on this guy
@Ultrakilltree 2 жыл бұрын
Hes sO graTe.
@bulldozer8950 4 жыл бұрын
He was just a real life anime protagonist.
@UBvtuber 4 жыл бұрын
He's the real life version of the anime dudes who are 100% afraid of sex, but have tons of women fighting to get a chunk of him stuck inside of them.... except this man actually got down with the sickness.
@Im-xq5xf 4 жыл бұрын
@@UBvtuber and it's time for our boy to clean it up
@muramasadoesathing1040 4 жыл бұрын
The plot armor is strong with this one...
@xrueaw5961 4 жыл бұрын
Anime more like gaynime
@wasabij 4 жыл бұрын
Sounds like he may have been a narcissistic sociopath. His education had nothing to do with making money and he picked that up at 8 to make money even quicker. He knew exactly how to get what he wanted, money and wealth, and completely willing to exploit people to do it. He abused his wife who that don't validate his ego. He had a grandiose self of self importance, seemingly lacked empathy, classic traits.
@alexstromquist1930 Жыл бұрын
Another fun misspelling of Dexter's in A Pickle for the Knowing Ones: he spelled United States of America as, and I quote: "younited States of A mercary"
@gypy416 5 ай бұрын
the silence at 3:06 is deafening
@nong333 3 жыл бұрын
Fun fact: After the success of the warming pan thing, Timothy Dexter decided that this must mean the west indies were actually pretty cold. So for his next shipment, he sent a load of woolen clothes and mittens. By ridiculous coincidence, an expedition, on their way to Siberia, was stopping by at the time. They liked what Dexter was selling and bought the whole stock.
@KlavierMenn 2 жыл бұрын
.... Sometimes I wonder about destiny and luck. Clearly, Dexter wasn't destined to be poor and his luck was out of charts
@sgt.mutombo6860 2 жыл бұрын
I can't, I just fucking can't. The odds are too fucking much for any one mind to comprehend.
@dragongamer364 2 жыл бұрын
god, he was a mary sue and did not know it.
@vibranium-riprich314 2 жыл бұрын
It was bought by asian merchants in the Caribbean who then shipped it to siberia
@jeffreykirkley6475 2 жыл бұрын
@@vibranium-riprich314 Okay, this makes more sense. Still, this man has stupid luck.
@wanderinghistorian 3 жыл бұрын
this man was a f***ing legend can you imagine turning in an English paper with a bunch of punctuation marks saying, "put these where you want them" LOL
@korfrag6865 3 жыл бұрын
“I put in A Nuf here and thay may peper and solt it as they plese“
@user-mg7wh8zq6v 3 жыл бұрын
He's truly an inntellliegend falla
@deemcgann1695 2 жыл бұрын
you mean "put thes wer u want dem"
@basicallyhowto4108 2 жыл бұрын
Alpha move
@w_ldan 2 жыл бұрын
He is basicaly the "stonk" guy
@bostonrailfan2427 Жыл бұрын
he sold gloves in the Caribbean that were bought by people en-route to Siberia then again to merchants in the south seas who ended up going to China. the man was lucky beyond belief with his ventures. i venture that he was one of Horatio Alger’s inspirations: not a stretch as Malden is the next town over from Revere, MA
@X-SPONGED 8 ай бұрын
My man is not a bumbling idiot who was blessed by RNGesus. He is RNG incarnate. He did all the random shit he can come up with and by sheer probability, he came out on top EVERY SINGLE TIME. Bro is the quintessential INT1 LUK50 character build.
@HashbrownMashup 3 жыл бұрын
God imagine being the guy giving Timothy Dexer all that advice. Like... you viciously try to sabotage his life and he comes back... _richer._ Every time. _And Timothy probably thanked the guy for it._
@thestoryman5706 3 жыл бұрын
With each horrible investment tip I grow stronger
@arkesh110 3 жыл бұрын
Imagine if he (the guy giving advice) eventually thought the ludicrous tips he gave Dexter were good, tried a few of em out, and ended up loosing fortunes.
@HashbrownMashup 3 жыл бұрын
I'd be questioning the fabric of reality if I were that guy. Hell, I'd probably become religious just so I could assume that God was mocking me.
@yoyu8641 3 жыл бұрын
From his point of view the guy trying to sabotage him is a really good friend who only gives good tips
@Lysergic_ 3 жыл бұрын
sounds like the modern day with dogecoin lmao
@amandataylor1432 4 жыл бұрын
“Pickle for the Knowing Ones” > “My Immortal”
@alecity4877 4 жыл бұрын
If it was written by someone with a brain of course it is better than my inmortal, but have you read B1terman?
@Jayce800 4 жыл бұрын
"Pickle for the Knowing Ones" > "Twilight"
@justinvaughn2277 4 жыл бұрын
"moses was but A man and Aaron thay had sum devel like my selfe" he literally compared himself to biblical prophets
@FBI-real 4 жыл бұрын
hi my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way
@geekdivaherself 4 жыл бұрын
@@justinvaughn2277 ...and way early anticipated the selfie! Only off by one letter _I._
@gryphon50c 3 ай бұрын
6:58 I don’t know why but the way he says this always gets me
@gryphon50c 3 ай бұрын
7:54
@firebrand723 Жыл бұрын
I love how Sam put emperor norton in the line up of statues.
@bruno959 4 жыл бұрын
i love how this guy completely lived in his luck-bubble and never got exposed to the unfair and real life. He lived the best life.
@georgy2596 4 жыл бұрын
His life was unfair, his luck was too high
@edelen1991 3 жыл бұрын
Every era has a Trump
@xavierrodriguez2463 3 жыл бұрын
@@georgy2596 yeah, unfair to the rest of us
@678crazydave 3 жыл бұрын
@@edelen1991 found the atheist
@grillygrilly 3 жыл бұрын
David Atkinson What is wrong with being an atheist?
@PlayerZeroStart 4 жыл бұрын
People: *complain about a lack of punctuation* Timothy Dexter: *adds a page of nothing but punctuation.* This is the level of pettiness I strive for.
@chivasowle286 4 жыл бұрын
Diamond The Hedgehog that might be my favorite part. It’s the perfect rebuttal.
@TheDeathOrange 4 жыл бұрын
Chivas Owle not forgetting his note to go with it as well
@fredriks7241 4 жыл бұрын
Oliver Hanson you forgot the punctuation.
@tanszism 4 жыл бұрын
@@theOGLC well, eloquence is something to be strived. aside from that, yo that bitch hella mean
@dangokitty1288 4 жыл бұрын
@@theOGLC My teacher does the same thing but I don't see it as mean or annoying. I consider my essays to be well written so when my teacher says that "people" is to general I don't see it as nit-picking. Like you said it's probably because they can't find much else to criticise. Maybe it's different with your teacher because my teacher is actually really nice and helpful. I could be wrong tho
@thorinpalladino2826 10 ай бұрын
Hoo boy. Dexter did not pester the city of Malden for office. By the time he married he was living in the city of Newburyport and it is that city he was a pest to. The image of his house is a mishmash of two houses he owned (in Newburyport). One was a square brick building that is now the city library. The other one, the one with the statues and the copula, is a white mansion. He did not randomly round up cats. He was paid by the city do do so because there was a feral cat problem in the city. But after he collected a bunch he was told that he could not just drown the cats, to be paid he would have to transport them somewhere.
@juliankohler5086 Жыл бұрын
This episode is probably my favorite
@uguook 2 жыл бұрын
Imagine if the guy giving advice, eventually thought the ludicrous tips he gave Dexter were good, tried a few of em out, and ended up losing his fortunes.
@concept5631 Жыл бұрын
That would've sucked.
@exotic1405 Жыл бұрын
Actual cartoon plot-line
@elenazonia9325 Жыл бұрын
The business equivalent of Wile E. Coyote
@notusingmyname2634 11 ай бұрын
I mean a few of them genuinely were good ideas like buying all the whale bones and sending cats
@gigabuck9091 10 ай бұрын
@@notusingmyname2634 imagine a drunk conversation 'hey you know what you should do, you should round all the straycats and sell em off to the carribean'
@TumblinWeeds 4 жыл бұрын
Sam: “hey kids” How brave. I was fully expecting to hear “hey fully grown adults and mature teenagers above 13”
@fredrickreloaded4488 4 жыл бұрын
No way anyone is going to mistake this for family friendly content
@Mileshuh 4 жыл бұрын
This is very family friendly content -Animated -Informational -Could appeal to children because literally anything can -Sam literally says "hey kids" haha ignore all that swearing though
@burnknuckles5906 4 жыл бұрын
i'm a 24 yo kid.. everybody is a kid.
@mrsexy5680 4 жыл бұрын
Coppa: A crime has been commited
@Akaryusan 4 жыл бұрын
Wouldn't be surprised post coppa his motto changes to hey peeps
@samboylston578 7 ай бұрын
Fun fact after being BORN in Malden Dexter moved to Newburyport where this story actually happened, there are infact tons of deer in Malden, however Newburyport is a small bust seaport with no deer at that time (they are here now though), Dexter is a local legend here you can still visit his house and there are public parks named after him!
@commentingguy3953 10 ай бұрын
The arm wings that don't attach to the back are amazing.
@iwasspawnedfrommold3248 3 жыл бұрын
This man is the real life equivalent of when you make a joke character by bombing all your stats into luck and it ends up, ironically, becoming your most successful build
@xenomang3149 3 жыл бұрын
Old Man Henderson, is that you?
@OtakuUnitedStudio 3 жыл бұрын
@@xenomang3149 "That's the ugliest damn poodle I've ever seen." -Timothy Dexter looking at a cat, probably.
@Pihsrosnec 3 жыл бұрын
Timothy is the real life embodiment of the 'idiot savant' perk from fallout 4 then?
@xenomang3149 2 жыл бұрын
@@OtakuUnitedStudio MUCKLED DAM WIFE! 'AIR EH NAGGLY BE KEEPIN' ME MALDEER?
@ShadowNinja452 2 жыл бұрын
Holy shit I’m having Fallout 1 flashbacks
Action C Mini
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