It might be easy to think that charisma is something you’re born with - either you have it or you don’t.
But what makes someone charismatic? Why are some people able to capture our attention with apparent ease, while others have difficulty standing out from the crowd?
According to bestselling author Vanessa Van Edwards, the answer lies in the hidden language of cues - the tiny, nonverbal signals we send to others in every interaction.
In today’s episode of Impact Theory, Vanessa explores the powerful impact that even the most subtle cues can have on others.
Not only that, but she shares some powerful techniques for improving our awareness of cues, and how to use them to our advantage - proving once and for all that charisma isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you can develop with practice.
If you want to dive even deeper into what’s discussed in todays episode, then be sure to check out Vanessa’s latest book, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication by clicking here: amzn.to/3h2Eg4p
SHOW NOTES:
00:00 | Introduction
01:08 | What is charisma and how do you develop it?
09:19 | Why modern communication habits are causing burnout
12:37 | How to control your cues in the digital landscape
17:16 | Why touch is such a powerful cue
24:51 | How to spot a liar
26:45 | Teaching children to read cues
30:59 | Addressing social cues in real time
37:27 | The power of oxytocin in communication
40:20 | Why it’s so important to understand cues
44:23 | Reading cues in tone of voice
48:20 | The best way to read a poker player
53:06 | The fastest way to cut through B.S. and get to know people
QUOTES:
“When we add the warmth, plus competence - so likable, friendly, compassionate, trustworthy, plus capable, powerful, impressive - that's the sweet spot.” [02:30]
“As humans, we first meet another human, the very first question we ask about them is, ‘Can I trust you?’ ...the next question we answer - and it is the next question is, ‘Can I rely on you?’” [04:09]
“I think Social Assertiveness is actually like a hidden trait that everyone should learn. Because to be socially assertive, it means you're putting your needs forward, but you're being polite about it.” [16:05]
“I would rather you be aware of the cues that are being sent to you to know, ‘I want this or I don't’ because they are that powerful, that if someone has bad intentions, they can still produce trust.” [41:01]
“I think that's something that is an underestimated cue that we don't talk about enough, but our voice gives away a lot of our personality and our mental state.” [43:10]
“I think that people who doubt their ideas, and they doubt themselves, that leaks in their cues.” [47:35]
“Our subconscious is this amazing cue reading machine. And so it is constantly trying to tell your gut, ‘Listen, that wasn't good. We should be nervous,’ or, ‘This person is great.’ It's constantly trying to speak to us, we just have to listen to it.” [51:37]
Follow Vanessa Van Edwards:
Website: www.scienceofpeople.com/
Twitter: bit.ly/3v2mvKR
Facebook: bit.ly/3oXUYX6
Instagram: bit.ly/3BzmgrX
Order Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication: amzn.to/3h2Eg4p