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I’m just going to say it: Tyra should shift over to writing surreal creepypasta/no sleep stories. She clearly likes writing about weird creatures and she could do it with enough practice.

I can’t stop laughing at the fact that every character seems to have some kind of weird name and be from a similarly weird-named fantasy land, and then there’s just “Angelica from Iceland”.

Anyone else find it kind of disturbing that Tyra describing a character that isn’t a perfect 10 makes them sound like an eldritch horror badly pretending to be human?

There's a game called Love Nikki, which seems to be a cute dress up game where you fight wars with fashion. It does the 'world' of fashion' perfectly. It turns out that everyone is cursed to die if they act violent, so wars are fought with fashion shows and every piece of clothing has magic that grows more powerful if correctly combined into a theme. People will fall down exhausted if their outfit is outshone by an opponent. People steal designs and accessories, entire towns are held hostage for fabric. There's a piece of lore text describing a designer being held hostage and starved to force her to work. Your best friend was orphaned over a suitcase full of dress instructions. You fight a city of vampires by finding the right outfit to ward them off. Don't bother playing it, most of the content is seasonal.

*”WHEN MY MOTHER YELLS AT ME LIKE THIS IT’S BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME!!”* That actually explains a few things. I wonder how often her mother yelled at her like that growing up.

Ah, I've heard of this book through a former classmate. She described it to me as "the mental breakdown of the supermodel known as Tyra Banks...in literary form".

“Rule number 1: don’t use semicolons” Rule number 1.5: use semicolons after having properly researched how they work; skipping them altogether is just a waste

I really wish people would look up the metric system before using it in their writing. Because the protag's facial dimensions are genuinely horrifying - she basically has a Joker smile and eyes on her temples

This book is essentially Tyra Banks’ Sonichu. It’s an unhinged narrative that can only truly be understood by looking into the authors other insane projects, and it’s sole purpose seems to be to inflate the authors already massive ego.

“was not the scum of the earth, she was not an old man with a waifu complex, and she wasn’t… *dead.”* That caught me so off guard.

"Men are easy" Excuse you, I have standards. I stopped sleeping with my ex after she yelled at me over a Subway sandwich.

Hypothetically If they way they lost their periods made them sterile it would mean that modelland would only be able to draw new models from the outside world who would steadily produce worse models as the traits that produce good models would be slowly breed out of the general population like some bizarre reversal of eugenics

The part where her dad falls seven storeys but is fine because he tucks into a roll then impales his face on a sword taking a bow which causes him to lose an eye had me HOWLING

Every time I hear metopia I instantly think of miitopia and just imagine a bunch of miis walking around with tookie being the one normal person

I feel like Tyra missed her calling her calling as a body horror author. There's a very good foundation for some of the weird horrific stuff that happens, like the mirrors distorting you and the legizards and whatnot. Or maybe she'd just make for a great Nechronica GM, I could see it. I might use some of this, actually.

Not gonna lie, 11 year old me would've LOVED Modelland. The nonsense has a certain charm to it, kinda like Alice in Wonderland.

Modelland sounds like an unintentional dystopia.

as someone with a really basic understanding of french, its hillarious how many times tyra banks just uses the plain-ass french word for something to make it seem ~magical and fantastical~

When I was listening along to 372 Pages's readthrough of this book, I deadass thought the "models" were going to end up being child soldiers with superpowers who fought against an external threat- beautiful, skilled, but also at risk of death. Some people wanted to be selected as models, while others would pray not to be given this "gift". Anyway, that's the plot to my Modelland AU fanfiction, planned to begin in 2023.

Honestly the "sense next year's fashion" and "make people want to buy things" would be extremely good super powers. Set up a shop somewhere good, stock up on next year's most trending outfits, put the best ones up on display to attract window shoppers, then make them want to buy the clothes. The plan would be even more effective since this is a place obsessed with fashion. Bam, you're rich.

"First book in a series" oooh boy, more fun to us and more damage to Krimson's mental health

Anyone notice how, once Tookie becomes ugly in the mirror, she is immediately called “it?” It’s like Tyra Banks doesn’t think of unattractive people as real people.

As an Australian I'm laughing so hard at Digeridoo Land. It's somehow completely bizarre and strangely accurate at the same time.

Reading between the lines of this book, I think I learned more about Tyra than the book. One thing being: no one should be a model.

The fact that the country is called "Mytopia" (is that how it's spelled? I have no idea) is utterly hilarious to me considering the plot of this book is about as sane as the average Miitopia playthrough.

Oh God, the menstruation stuff had me literally screaming in horror! Look, I don't like periods as much as anyone, but the idea of some outside institution having full control over them is nightmarishly disturbing to me... Not even *I* get a say in those, why should you??

I'd kill for a movie of this directed by Robert Rodriguez and/or Guillermo Del Toro. This is an absurdist horror.

I literally have no idea what this book is about. I just listened to nonsense for three hours. I love this channel.

We need to make the KrimsonRogue bad book multiverse a thing. I wanna see Daniel, Zade, and Empress Teresa fight to the death in the battle of the overpowered idiots!

The thing is, this book's setting is _kinda_ interesting. The problem is, it feels like it's being explored wrong; it's the worldbuilding equivalent going to France for the weekend, only to enter one supermarket on the first day, stand several feet from Mont Saint Michel for a quarter of an hour, then spend the rest of your time in your hotel room. Like, where the hell are the Legizards from? Are they genetically-modified humans? Is this book set in the Cruelty Squad universe?

this book could almost serve as an allegory for just how absurdly warped and messed up what people will do to make themselves "pretty" in the real world. I feel Tyra unironically gave just the perfect ammo for people to re work this into a complete horror story of sacrificing your basic biological functions and normal life for the sake of getting attention. She actually made it easier to turn this into a horror story than Norman did for Empress Theresa. I'm almost floored by that

Making Tyra even worse... she demanded one girl get rid of the gap between her teeth, then a later season she made a different girl widen her gap instead. she literally just likes the control she has over all these young girls.

I don't think Tyra Banks planned her story or her world entirely, but wrote a big chunk of the book just on her loose ideas, forgot some of what she wrote in the beginning, then read it when she was nearing the end and realized she hadn't used many of her first ideas and characters and therefore crammed them in way too late. It could be the reason why it is so strangely chopped up as well.

I'm a bit of a high fashion buff and I can maybe answer a few questions Krim had about the fashion industry - basically, America's Next Top Model, or any TV reality show like Project Runway are largely considered to be jokes within the industry, not to say that it's even considered to be the kiss of death. Only model who came out of America's Next Top Model and who became famous later on is Winnie Harlow, and even then, it's widely considered that she became famous IN SPITE of the show. America's Next Top Model has a long history of emotional and verbal abuse towards the girls competing, and many of the challenges the girls do aren't anything models are required to do in the slightest, so the excuse they get from Tyra Banks that "oh well if you don't do it that means you don't have what it takes" is complete bullshit.

Sometimes while reading The Hunger Games I think, wouldn't it be amazing to get a massive info dump on what life in the Capitol is like? And I think this book is the answer to that

During my internship, i used to be a dresser at various fashion shows. There were two of us per model and a floater, one removing clothes and another putting on the next outfit and the floater for accesories. It really is like a pit stop kind of deal, a LOT of teamwork and coordination to get them out in less than 2 minutes. I HATE that that has relegated to 'tiny hands'...like damn, we are actual people

Omg certain sections of this are so warped. There’s a whole “Bulimia takes your ability to menstruate away” section covered up by a class on “saving face” Jesus Tyra had no idea how deep her psyche is scarred

I think it was revealed that Tyra didn't even actually go to business school, she took a course that lasted I think a month at the campus but she wasn't actually a student. I watched Illuminatii's video on the mlm Tyra tried to start which is where I got that info.

I gotta say, after hearing stories of omnipotent girls ruining the world, a CIA-wannabe written by a racist zombie and a whole swarm of disturbing Onision puppets it refreshing to see a main character that isn't absolutely unlikeable. Boring and pathetically underwhelming sure, but still likeable.

When I was younger, I used to watch Tyra Banks psychologically torture skinny girls on ANTM. Now, in my older years, I watch Tyra Banks psychologically torture book reviewers

... why do I have a feeling Zarpessa is the stand-in for Naomi Campbell and that it's essentially all Tyra Banks's revenge fantasy

"Take the sea bass. It's still warm." I feel like I could go to jail if I said that to a random stranger.

Tyra didn't get into Harvard, and she certainly did not graduate with a business degree. She went to a 6 week seminar that any Tom, Dick, or Harry could go to with enough funds.

Alright here's how I would fix modelland: First is Ci-L is known to be the daughter of the prima donna. It turns out tookie is the illegitimate child. Basically Donna got pregnant with CL with her state approved bf (probably like the top student at the boy's school) since she's still in school the child is raised by the servants until Donna becomes an adult. But a couple years later she has another kid this time with the builder guy and so that child is taken away and raised in secret for a few years then given to Donna's school friend creamy to raise. That's tookie. Now CL finds out from one of the servants (the manicant who was the other friend of Donna's) that she has a sister. She wants to meet her and uses her triple 7 powers to transform into Lizzie and befriends tookie. Tookie's sister was chosen for the school but CL changes the list so she can be closer to her sister. Ok now some other not main plot things. It seems like Lizzie is experiencing the pain of some other people so I propose that the friends of CL who tried to leave didn't actually die. She found them mostly dead on the mountain and used her magic to save them but they're all in comas. In saving them she tied their life forces to hers and so whenever they dream of something painful or traumatic she feels that too. Maybe in the second book you could have CL and tookie look for a way to wake them up. Also do more with CL trying to break the social norms of modelland and let us see the group of kids get bullied/harassed by teachers more.

De la cremè = with the cream, it’s used a lot in the names of French cookies with either icing on top or cream inside, also sometimes with the names of coffee or teas that have either cream or vanilla in them. The main characters name is Tookie, it’s like one letter away from cookie, so her name is basically cookies with cream in English. Hi I’m Natalie, I possess approximate knowledge of many languages, and this has been *my* TED talk.

... this book is somehow both too graphic and too immature for teenagers... hard to believe it was written by a middle-aged woman

Honestly, I feel like the twist at the end could have worked with Tookie being the Belladona's daughter instead of Ci-L. Just imagine that Wingtip doesn't exist and it's Crobat (Tookie's dad) there instead. Creamy, forced to stay behind, agrees to help him raise Tookie, and the two fall in love. Later on Crobat becomes disillusioned with the fact that the Belladonna might have been cheating on him (after all, she didn't care enough about him and their daughter to stay behind with them) and convinces himself that Tookie isn't his. Now that he and Creamy have their own child, they begin to feel like Tookie is just a burden thrust upon them by an ex-friend/ex-lover who didn't want her, adding a reason to why they hate her so much besides the fact that she doesn't look pretty. The toothbrush scene would have to be worked of course, but honestly Creamy could just say something vague like "she looks just like her mother" or something. Honestly though, I would rework Ci-L's role in the story entirely. Based on this summary, she feels just arbitrarily thrown into the narrative whenever possible (and the twist about the pyramid things just feels like an arbitrary reason for the Belladonna to get mad at her and force her to come back to Modelland). I feel like you could go a few ways with her, but the sake of this already being a long post, here's one. The Belladonna sees her as an adoptive daughter, a possible replacement for her missing daughter. She spoils her and gives her all the best stuff. However, Ci-L begins to go down the same path of the Belladonna and falls in love with a civilian, so the Belladonna whisks her away to Modelland and doesn't allow her to leave again. Ci-L, having no idea why the Belladonna is doing this besides "peasants bad", rebels in every way possible, including changing the list of people being accepted into Modelland. So, just kind of have her as a background character constantly pushing back against Modelland's rules or whatever.

Model land could have worked if they built it on the old geisha system in japan. You had an entire prefecture propped on their very existence not because they were special but to make them special. Clothes, beauty treatments, food...etc all to cater to either the geishas or their rich patrons needs. Not because they were beautiful but because they were a status symbol for the patron.

The weirdest thing, judging from the clips of Tyra Banks, is that this book wasn't intended to be surreal, metaphorical, satirical, etc. It was meant as a straightforward fantasy story, one that was obviously never viewed by a single editor... or, if it was, Tyra fired them at the slightest hint of negative or constructive feedback. There are way too many tones, themes, and ideas competing for attention here, and she wanted to keep them all.

My favorite thing about Modelland reviews/readings is the moment where the reader comes across Guru Applaussez. Some change the name to make fun of it, some change the name because they refuse to deal with a name like that, and some deadass just misread it as something else, but no matter which of those applies, all roads inevitably lead to Applesauce. Everyone does it. Well done Tyra, you somehow managed to bring all of humanity together in the most pointless, bonkers way imaginable.

You mentioned a couple times that some aspects of the book seem like a subtle critique of the modelling industry, but I think it's worth mentioning that Tyra is one of the people *causing* some of those issues. Those aspects may show up in the book because they just seem... natural to her.

Krim: talks about the girls passing makeup one to the next Me: what the heck no don’t do that that’s so unsanitary Krim: “those of who know anything about makeup are probably saying ‘wait, they passed the makeup’?” Me: thank god he understands

As completely bizarre and contrived as Tyra's world sounds, I would be lying if I said I didn't find a lot of creative horror elements in it that I enjoyed. The monsters composed of body parts immediately brings to mind a specific Silent Hill monster that was composed of countless mannequin arms, legs, and heads that turned out to be taken from its victims and transformed... but that monster was from the dumpster fire that was the second Silent Hill movie adaptation. Perhaps its like a creepypasta creature; the many appendage monster appears only in awful media trying to be profounnnnddd..... This book gives me the same feeling of insanity as watching Jupiter Ascending. All this creativity culminating in a face palm.

Even if it's being completely destroyed I can only hope my novel is analyzed this deeply.

Of the 11 books in the Masochistc Tango so far, Modelland is the only one that I would read. The other books in the series had issues like having unbearable main leads, forcing political themes when they are out of place, terrible sex scenes, botching the handling of serious topics in offensive ways, portraying abusive and creepy behavior as romantic, plagiarism, and being pure cringe. Modelland on the other hand is batshit insane and the plot sounds like Persona or Final Fantasy on crack. It's bad but in a way that is entertaining.

The part with the half naked teens reminded me of an episode of America's Next Top Model where Tyra "disciplined" a contestant for not feeling comfortable with doing a nude photo shoot.

This almost sounds like the setting to the "Love Nikki" mobile game - a strange other world where all disputes are settled... with fashion contests.

“Wait, so if the magic isn’t responsible for paving the roads and keeping the electricity running, what’s powering the cities?” “Oh! All of our less attractive men run on giant hamster wheels underground… I’m not really sure how it works…”

Did she just casually include a princess as a main character and give it no fanfare? Also how is Tookie forgettable? I doubt with looks that unique she’s forgettable.

This book at times feels like a fashion-conscious Alice in Wonderland... Nothing makes sense, there are storylines and characters created and abandoned randomly, and I never know whether I am amused or annoyed by the weirdness

These names sound like something a 12 year old on Deviantart came up with, and I say this as someone who used to be on that website at that age and had terribly named OCs and friends with terribly named OCs. We had two ways of naming OCs, overly complicated words no human besides us can pronounce and basic names that have been used about a million times.

This comes across as a 13 year old on Wattpad's first attempt at an original story. Poorly written to be sure, but it almost feels like someone who's genuinely having fun with their project. The only difference is that Tyra Banks is a grown woman whose message of self love is tainted by her job

I want a dose of whatever Tyra had while writing this book, because it's absolutely bonkers. I don't think she was going for drug-induced visions of a surreal dystopia filled with incoherent nightmare fuel creatures... but for being what it is, it's gold.

For every example you could use to argue the book has a good message about defying beauty standards, there is an example of the narration bashing people for their looks with seemingly no awareness. A good portion of the book is dedicated to a character who doesn't shave and talking about how ugly and horrible she is until she finally does shave. It's needlessly cruel to an older woman who thought she might be chosen for TDOD. It constantly uses Creamy's wrinkles as a symbol of her awfulness while also mocking her for trying to hide them. The story is about how Modelland needs reform but it portrays the people protesting Modelland as hypocrites who don't actually care about their cause and drop it the second TDOD starts (suggesting a "they're just jealous" attitude towards anyone against the beauty industry). I disagree with the idea this book is harmless because even aside from the more obviously problematic things (how badly it handles self harm, casual sexism and ableism, racial stereotyping of the Asian characters, etc) it tells the teen girls this is aimed at, and are probably fans of Tyra's, that even in this book about being accepted, they are not acceptable if they don't fit Tyra's idea of beauty

I’m only an hour in, but I feel strangely inspired to write some short stories based on my weirdest thoughts. Since that’s clearly what this lady did lol

"Hey, we live in SansColor. What does that mean?" "Oh, it means 'without color.'" "...Then why is our language Colorian?" "I don't know, what's a color?"

At least to me, it seems like this whole world runs on dream logic, which would be a valid writing style for something as strange as the modeling industry. Unfortunately, I don't think the author was writing it that way intentionally.

45:00 Gonna have to disagree with a one of the "dumb" powers. "thirty never" is just straight up immortality. Thats not useless thats op as fuck and would guarantee that person position as head of state.

I somehow suspect is just a "this is how my life sucks, in a thin fantasy setting". Its creepily dystopian, and sounds sort of in a way a secret way to vent.

Masochistic Tango series books best to worst (so far): 11. Modelland 10. Trigger Warning 9. The Mister 8. Handbook for Mortals 7. Twilight: Midnight Sun 6. Ready Player Two 5. Stones to Abigail 4. This is Why I Hate You 3. Reaper's Creek 2. Empress Theresa 1. 64 Squares No surprise that this Modelland is the best in the series. There's quite a gap between it and Trigger Warning. (BTW I don't know if I should switch Handbook for Mortals and Midnight Sun or keep it the same)

Honestly this might be the best YA book ever written because it's not trying to be super serious or edgy, it doesn't pull back on its own ridiculous gore or worldbuilding (or lack thereof) for a young audience, the sexualization of minors is an actual plot point meant as a joke/maybe commentary, it exists solely as a middle aged woman's power fantasy and was actually marketed and sold as such, and none of it means anything. It's just fucking hilarious. I've never heard of a book that just completely doesn't try to be what it's not and has so much fun lavishing in its own awfulness. Watching this video is honestly inspiring me to start writing again I can't believe this

Wait... They synced up their periods in order to train them to endure pain for the sake of professionalism, and to make their time management reliable... but also made it the last period so they would never have to worry about it again?

Bizarrely enough, there is actually at least one significant work of literature that does the multiple-self-insert thing: The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde. Oscar Wilde wrote in his personal correspondence that the character Basil Hallward represents who he really is, Lord Henry Wotton represents who the world at large thinks he is, and Dorian Gray represents who he wishes he could be. However, Oscar Wilde's characters and plot are rather better thought out than Tyra Banks', to say the least. The clip of Tyra at the end is honestly painful to watch, because I agree with the message she's apparently trying to convey, that people of all colors, genders, and sizes can be beautiful, but it becomes a somewhat less persuasive message when it's delivered by someone having an emotional meltdown and screaming like a crazed lunatic.

The funny thing is she ended up on the New York times' bestseller list in the children's literatue category instead the adult novel she was aiming for. Also this is the edited version they had to cut 500-1,000 pages from the manuscript.

This has way more parallels to Puella Magi Madoka Magica than I was prepared for or am comfortable with. Anyway, quality content as always!

When KZfaq recommended a 3 hour long video about a book with a name as ridiculous as Modelland.... I certainly didn't think I'd be here at the end, thoroughly entertained, amused, incredulous, aghast, confounded, impressed and dismayed. Very well done - thank you! 🙏

my favorite part of Modelland is how obvious it is that Tyra wrote this and not a ghost writer. No one except Tyra has the mental capacity to create something so amazing

The ideas in this book seem so surreal to me- honestly, like a Neil Gaiman concept. The plot needs tightening up, and I'm totally unsure if it was what the author was going for, but it all seems bizarre and strangely dark- I feel like I'd kinda dig a stop motion show based from this world, or a cartoon.

I had an aneurysm hearing “Metopia” simply because all I could think of was Miitopia

Only 45 min in, but "ThirtyNever" as they call it, actually sounds pretty badass. It sounds like immortality.

Every time I heard the name Bravo my mind just pictured Johnny Bravo and every time his lines were on screen I read with his voice in my head

6:43 "Tooki lives in a country called Miitopia" That's definitely not how the country was spelled but I don't care, I heard the name and now I'm imagining the protag as a Mii

I’m sure it’s been said somewhere in the comments section (or maybe not idk), but the differences between Rookie’s flashback and the other two girls’ flashbacks could have been an interesting character moment for Tookie if it had been explored more. Perhaps others would view it as a happy memory, but it could actually be something painful for Tookie to think about considering since her parents were showing complete favoritism to “Miracle”. When we meet the parents, we see that they treat Tookie like shit, yet in the flashback they are shown as being loving towards her like regular parents. My guess is that essentially Tookie and her parents are happy together (and Tookie is even excited to get a little sibling/sister), but then “Miracle” is born and the parents completely drop their love for Tookie for it to go towards “Miracle” only. Either that or “Miracle” started showing some modeling talent early on and the parents completely hyperfocused on that like irl parents do to vicariously live through their children. So perhaps Tookie is shown a “happy” flashback because her traumatic experience is that her parents don’t actually love her as they used to. Buuuut I’m probably reading too deeply into things considering it sounds like it isn’t explored in the moment after being shown, which would have been the best time for it and for Tookie to reflect on how her family had been treating her for presumably years.

2:57:07 ironically, one of L’Oréal’s most well-remembered models was supermodel Lara Stone, who had the same gap in her teeth. While yes, people did stare and pay a lot of attention to it and even made fun of it, her face stuck in their mind and the brand popped up in thought more. It was great marketing, far from Unmarketable. People still remember the Rimmel London mascara because of Lara Stone’s smile saying “Get the London Look”, maybe because of a British teeth joke, but it was memorable.

I now feel better about literally every character I've given a name to

That's actually a pretty smart way of going around the dislikes.

Just like with the writer of Twilight, I feel that Tyra missed her calling as a horror writer.

The thing that's really surprising to me is that if this was a first draft given to a good editor, they could have made this work a lot better. There's a lot about it that's genuinely interesting, and if it was reworked a little to play off a central message, it'd be really cool

You did it. By god, man, you did it. I've been begging booktubers to cover this insanity. Thank you so much.

TB when she looks at other women (apparently): Her lips are approximately 3.759 mm too wide and the gap between her eyebrows is .361 mm too close and the tips of her eyes are 1.484 mm too far from the tips of her ears which are 4.192 mm too far from the tip of her chin and . . . Me: are you ok? Like mentally 🙃

This feels like a fantasy 1984 if the author thought Big Brother was just the best idea ever and sang its praises all the way through, despite the never ending atrocities being blatantly showcased as they shower them with adulation.

Knowing Tyra and how she responded to her pet projects in the past, I bet she made the models on her show do at least one "Modelland" themed challenge.

This book reminds me of the Uglies and Pretties books, but with the worldbuilding totally botched. I remember those books being pretty good, they also have a world built around a hierarchy based on beauty standards. The science fiction aspects are pretty cool, and while it might not be a perfect series, it's definitly a better version of this.

As someone regularly called "C.L." due to my initials I'm having horrible secondhand embarrassment from this written soap opera.🤦‍♀️

god, can writers stop calling DID multiple personality disorder in the 21st century??? it hasn't been called that in more then 30 years

Banks seems very creative. She also seems to weild that creativity like a sledgehammer.

Long have I awaited the return of the one they call 'The Krimson Rogue'... It has been worth it.

Another note. The heck is up with all the one off scp monsters in this thing!? Like seriously!? It's some...really cool stuff that gets pushed aside for some stupid and weird shit!

This kind of has The Phantom Tollbooth vibes, I feel like if Tyra had committed wholeheartedly to authorship she could have made something really cool