A lot of my fears stem from decades of internalized transphobia. "what if I'm an ugly woman and don't pass?" "what if I don't like who I become?" "who'd want to love a woman that looks like me?" "what if I'm faking it?" "what if I'm a freak?" It's been almost a year now, but I'm slowly coming to terms with the hardest part of all of this- self-acceptance. But it's a rough journey. Some days I'm totally a queen, others, I'm a haggard survivor, a blob on a log, or a puddle of tears. Some days, all four. I'm not fully there yet, but I am closer now than when I started. I can now see the damage done to my body of 40+ years living as my AGAB as battlescars of a warrior fighting in a battle so systemic she couldn't even tell that she was really fighting just to survive. I just wish others saw me that way.

I have the fear of people trying to convince me I'm someone i'm not because I hid the dysphoria so so well

I really like one of last points ... that if you have had the strength and resilience to survive the dysphoria for a large portion of your life - you have the strength to step into and through the unknown and the resilience to weather the issues you will face. 💐

Dear Dr. Z, you're saving lots of lives with your work. It is impossible to describe how grateful I am with what you do for transgender people.

I was scared of somehow realising I've been wrong this whole time, but I think that thought has been implanted by people in my life constantly doubting and constantly criticising. I always run through the scenario like, "Wipe away any notion of a binary and start from scratch, I get really dysphoric about my current body and the way people perceive me as female and I want a penis and a flat chest and it makes me very happy to be called Daniel and have people use he/him pronouns... yeah I'm def a trans guy"

Somehow these videos always come the moment I feel like I need some reassurance or advice. Thank you for another great video!

My biggest fear is that my trans Identity will somehow bring ridicule or suffering for my children. They are young and will be going into school soon. The struggle is that I feel like I would rather let myself suffer than let them experience any kind of bullying etc. But the flip side is that I know I am better parent when I can be my authentic self.

I dealt with a lot of external fears when deciding whether to transition. I also dealt with the "will i regret this?" But eventually I realized I'd been asking "will i regret this?" for 10 years so I decided to just go for it. Super glad I did! Listening to your fears is important and I'm also glad I took the time to think about things. I do wish I'd started transitioning sooner though haha

For me, most of my fear comes from external sources. I hadn't really looked at it that way, but when this video called out the exact fears I feel as being from outside myself... Yeah, I have to agree. My fears from transitioning aren't about if I'm making a mistake for myself, but if I'm ruining my career, destroying relationships, things like that. Thank you for this video, it's important to think about these things.

I fear that someone will assault me. I have a DEEP fear of people just assaulting me when I go out into public, although I don't bring unwanted attention to myself, and I blend in, I just fear people just coming at me. I know who I am deep inside, I'm ok. just scared of going anywhere there is people ..

A relevation I've had recently is that a lot of my doubts and uncertainties were really just veiled forms of "fear". Loved this video! It really solidified some things I've already been thinking.

Lovely necklace Dr. Z! My biggest fear is number one losing everyone, job difficulties, being alone forever. I never knew it was called external fear. Thanks for wording so I can understand my fear better. ~ Zema

The external fears are exactly what I am feeling right now. I know that I am trans. And the only thing stopping me is how it will affect my loved ones and my job. This video is spot on. Ty so much Dr. Z for helping all of us with your knowledge and compassion. You are helping so much more than you will ever know 💖

Yes Yes Yes our Icon is back ^^

I'm struggling with accepting myself as possibly trans. I was incredibly dysphoric during puberty and for many years afterwards. Now, at 23, I think I have largely repressed my dysphoria. I still don't like my body, but I can "manage" which makes me feel like I am not dysphoric enough to be trans. I used to cover my chest when I showered to avoid looking at it. Now I just ignore it. I've learned to live with my body by divorcing it from my mind. Is this still dysphoria? The issue keeps reoccurring no matter how hard I try to ignore it, and today I finally got on the waiting list for a therapist.

THANK YOU Dr. Z - this video came at the perfect time for me. I've been wrestling with a lot of fear this week as I'm on the precipice of coming out to friends and starting to socially transition. Everything I've been experiencing fits so neatly into fear #1, and I just had a breakthrough moment watching this. My fear actually means I'm ready for transition. Because I do know what I want, I'm just afraid of all the twists and turns that might come on the road to get there, mostly how other people will react. But like you said, ultimately we have to do what's necessary and right for us, and we're not responsible for other people's responses. After listening to this, I feel like I'm ready to embrace this type of fear instead of running away from it. Thank you.

Gotta say, love the necklace. The video was very insightful as always. I think my main fear, along with a lot of other questioning people, is that I'll regret coming out and regret transition. Great video!

you really hit the nail on the head yeah i fear for my safety, then i worry about perception from my family and respect of my colleagues and then i question if this is even really something im really dealing with i would also add the fear of not being enough (trans enough, woman enough, passible enough .ect) but oddly its not top 3 im looking forward to going to therapy to work on these things wow this video gave me a lot to think about dang i always apprecaite hearing from you till next thurs btw you have awesome taste in jewelry

I have started taking little steps in my transition. I'm currently in "the shaving phase". Since I started taking affirming steps I feel like I can finally be happy. God, I feel so good today.

So true. This process is very hard mentally. Not for the need for me to be open but the fear of others perspectives. I am realizing the more I align myself mind, body, and soul the better everything is becoming. Thanks for the videos you are a beautiful soul helping others.

Thank you for this video. It really helped validate myself in realizing I've been dealing with external fear rather than internal fear. It was hard to differentiate from internal fear and I felt a lot of denial from thinking they were the same. But now I've realized the fear of other's reactions isn't worth influencing my desire for transition. I've been watching your videos for a few months now and I'm excited to announce that I'm starting T!!

Thanks for making this video, it was exactly what I needed to hear right now. If I could make it through life this far, I should have the resources needed to make it through anything transition throws at me. Dr Z, I really have to thank your for making these videos, they are a great help to me.

This may have been said already (in response to around minute 13), but there are nonbinary folks who are happy with all of the changes that will/do come with hormones and binary folks who do not want or are hesitant about some of the changes that come with hormones. It is not necessarily accurate to say that in general folks are nonbinary because they do not want or identify with all of the changes that are perceived as one side of a binary. Nonbinary encompasses many identities. I am nonbinary and happy for all my changes; and I've also seen binary folks struggle with the notion that they're expected to be okay with all changes. That aside, we are all learning from each other; thank you for your videos and your support of the community!

These videos are incredibly helpful and I’m really glad i found your channel

Such a great topic. I'm in this situation now with regards to work. With the pandemic and my lack of education, there are no jobs right now besides my current sales job that's filled with non-inclusive men. Been job searching for a few months and I might have to stop my transition if I cant find one, which would be the worst. Trying to stay positive, but it's tough. Thanks for your great insight once again. Love your videos.

Absolutely love this video, thank you sooo much for this. :)

Thank you Dr Z! Love all your content!! Very pertinent to me at this time in my life

Thank you again for another great video. It's always helpful to hear things that are distressing for me broken down in such a calm and rational way. A lot of my fear comes from those external sources, and the pushback I'm getting as I take steps toward transition. It's in those moments when I reflect on other people's negative reactions that I think, "what if I'm making a mistake". I have also found that, as a non-binary person, it is not only harder to find resources, but there is a lot of emotional labor in explaining my identity to others who have never heard of such a thing, especially when I myself am still trying to find the terms and expression that make me most comfortable. Slow and steady has been working out alright for me. I have planned to "come out" more broadly to the people around me a couple of times now and changed my mind because I'm not ready yet. If transition is right for me, I'll get there, and I'm very lucky to have a couple of open-minded and supportive people around me to help while I figure things out.

thank you sooo much! this video is like a hug 🤗

Thank you for making this. I have been dealing with a lot of fear around transitioning and I didn't know why because I know that transitioning is something I need but, I have a lot of fear about how people around me will respond. You have help me put things in perspective. For that I cannot thank you enough

I would like to comment briefly my "journey". It's been a "Long Road". Yes my memory of been different is of a very young age, around 6-7 years old. I fantasized of being a girl, and around 11 years old I put a "baby-doll" for the first time and it was at the point were the inner struggle begun. The rush came, I alleviated, I "purge" my thoughts , and fall again. Later in life also I passed for periods of buying female cloths, purging, and again to buying. Sexually thinking as a woman. Thereafter, what my introspection says, I have been coping with one or other strategy. Finally last spring I come out to myself more assertive. I am in the early 60s, and have a higher education degree. I am sure that more or less this has been the journey for many. Thanks.

I'm so grateful for your videos. Thanks a lot for sharing this knowledge! I have been questioning to transition for a while and your videos have been very therapeutic.

Thank you for making this video. Its was fantastic to encounter a video that identifies the fears I do feel. I'm definitely the first one. My biggest fear is how my transition will effect my kids and wife, how it will affect my relationships how they will have to deal with the effects of my choices. Hearing you speak really put some things into perspective. My transition is no longer an option. Its coming out or not..love the necklace, your accessories are always amazing.

My biggest and most enduring fear was and is that I won't be mentally strong enough to survive setbacks such as not qualifying for medical intervention(s) and/or non-acceptance by others (particularly those closest to me). Someone making fun of my attempts to apply my voice feminizing therapy resulted in a rapid return to very dark thoughts (short lived thanks to my newfound love of life), bringing forward my trauma healing session(s) with a psychologist, and cancellation of all remaining booked voice therapy sessions.

This is great! I have been catching and examining my doubts and fears as they are coming up, almost every one has nothing whatsoever to my being transgender and wanting to transition. It helped so much to avoid regression back to denial. Although with myself it is so obviously true I don't think that that dam could ever be closed again

Sorry I'm late. I fit exactly in the first two of those categories. Your explanation is very illuminating, especially the distinction between external v. internal casual sources. Thanks so much for another very helpful discussion.

I have not been able to crossdress for a while due to the weather.Thanks for your great videos encouraging my confidence in my feminine side.I so look forward to my next crossdressed shopping trip!and I do so need a new dress for Spring!

Hi Dr. Z, thank you for another awesome video. You're a real gem to transgender people and your videos have helped me to understand a lot about transitioning while I'm waiting to start gender therapy. I'm definitely going to be recommending your videos 😊

You are a piece of art!

Thank you so much! My main fear of starting hrt is Dying to soon from the side effects or breast cancer since my mom is a survivor. Next thing i worry about is how my dad and others will react since they have transphobia And last thing I fear is one day I’ll regret and not be happy cuz my ideal self is a femine cis gender women and Not trans . I went back to square one and tried being a guy with a haircut one more time and felt horrible . There’s no euphoria as a man . after 30 years I realized again since I was in elementary that Im not a man. And I’m my happiest as a female . Which is why I spent years daydreaming of my female self . so I’ve been working on accepting myself and still moving forward with a female gender expression with out hrt for now . it’s just hard to let go of the attraction I have for my male reflection since I like guys. But its always felt Iike I have a mask I can’t ever take off

My biggest fears are somewhere between all 3 of these tbh. Mostly the fear that I'm lying to myself or making things up, that I don't really feel like how I feel. I don't outwardly express myself enough to be considered masculine so how could I ever even think I could possibly be a man? I've been fighting with these feelings for 12 years (I'm 32 and learned about the term transgender when I was a teenager) but I'm so lost and alone and have no one to talk through this stuff with that I often feel like I'm just reflecting the trends of my social group. Like I'm trying to convince myself inside that I can somehow find happiness in being born the way I am, even though I'm miserable all the time.

Thank you Dr Z for another very informative video. I'm more of a type 1 fear person. I've socially transitioned for a while but I still fear for my career. More precisely, if I have to find another job, I fear that it will impede me. I'm in the androgynous zone right now and I know how it's not to my advantage. I'm not sure if it could fit the type 3 fear but I fear that my transition may not be as successful as I hope or feel I need. I fear for instance that my face will not feminize as much as I hope. I know that even if it's the case, there will be no regret, but there may be disappointment. About the second fear of regretting, I think that it's important to identify if this fear is really internal and personal or if it comes from external influence or pressure. In the first case, It may effectively be because you're not ready or not really sure yet. Taking more time seems to be the most reasonable approach. In the second case however the best approach may be to actually push forward despite having this fear because it is in this case a form of internalized transphobia. The reason that I'm saying this is because there are many people who are trying to convince us to not transition by arguing that we'll probably regret it later. It happened to me many times even once recently in this very comment section (but for another video). I see it often in social media and I've paid a particular attention to some trans spaces that claim to be safe but aren't. It's a lot more pernicious than your common transphobia. In some of these spaces transmedicalist/truscum ideas are pushed forward and their participants have a tendency to police who's trans or not, who's trans enough or isn't and who should or shouldn't transition. Since I'm more of a type 1 fear person I'm not that vulnerable (although I am to some extent) to this sort of pressure. It mostly angers me because it challenges my sense of morality and my deeply held values. However, other people may be a lot more vulnerable to this than I am. I've already supported and gave advice to a few trans or questioning people and I pay attention to this distinction because I know that they may have been exposed to that influence.

I think if you can say yes to the question "will i be comfortable in my new body if i were on an uninhibited island?" then most of the fear lies in the acceptance of the society. For me, it's a yes.

I’ve realized that a lot of my fears surrounding detransition weren’t actually my own but my family’s. When I came out my father told me that I can’t self diagnose with dysphoria. I was constantly worried that I wasn’t trans enough because of my very early childhood (I experienced dysohoria in grade school but not as a toddler), and I was constantly worried that transitioning wouldn’t help the dysphoria. My dysphoria also strays from the born in the wrong body narrative, as I feel like I was always a non-binary man, I just didn’t have a body that reflected that to others. For all those reasons I was fearful that I had convinced myself of something, a sentiment that my family reinforced. But now I can look back on that constant worry, and the worries I have now pre medical transition, and I can see them for what they are. The real reason I’m scared of detransitioning isn’t because I fear I’ll regret my decision- it’s because I’m afraid of living as a woman, and all the dysphoria that comes with it.

I thought my mum would reject me and it wasn't a big surprise for her she had known for a while. My daughter was amazing but feels like she's losing her mum. My best friend wasn't surprised.

Thanks Dr for everything you do here. It helps a lot for my final decision about my SRS in the near future. I’m really want to have it done and be 100% myself,but my fear is about the pain that I have to go through for at least few months after SRS. And I’m not sure if I can stay out of work for a long time so I’m still debating and preparing it mentally,physically and financially☹️

Amazing video!! My fear is easy for me isolate. It's a fear that because of extensive testosterone damage, HRT at this point wlll not be enough. I fear that transition won't allow to fully transition, I fear that I'll never be taken at face value as female. Thanks so much for the excellent content!!

Hi Dr. Z. Thank you so much for all the valuable information you provide through your channel. I'm 23 and have recently started questioning my gender identity. Your channel has helped a lot in understanding what's going on. I'm at a stage where I feel that transitioning will definitely make me happier, yet, is there a foolproof way to confirm that I might be transgender? I ask this especially in the context that body dysphoria is not overwhelmingly strong in my case. But the euphoria of experimenting with myself by crossdressing etc is definitely very strong. What should be my next steps? Kindly suggest.

Very helpful

Great video as always , really look forward to what you have to say . I do view my transition as my choice , not my choice to feel the way I do but to seek out help I would call my choice to better my life . Also I really can't get my head around the pick n mix approach to transition , that must be a headache for doctors

Hi! I star si my possibilty to change my gender! After 45 year's I hope to get my HRT after do my laboratory results! Next week go to do and my therapist will check the results in 2 weeks from to day ! No more fear and more happiness for my life! Thanks your video's help me so much and help me to be more confident!

Hi Dr Z! I love your videos!!! They are the first point of contact for me in my trans unveiling. My biggest fear in even starting to think about taking T and surgeries etc is that i would loose my singing voice, which took me 30yrs to master.... Im a bisexual transmasc afab person and im a singer... if transitioning means that i wont be able to sing Shirley Bassey and Aretha Franklin songs then im stuck in a female body... Lol ...i do grieve over this conflicting factor daily... But it's less bad if im lost in the music in the moment...

Thank you so much for this video!! I am non binary and I think I fall mostly under the 2nd and also a little of the 3rd category. I have a consultation for top surgery in June, and although I think it will be the right decision for me, I can't help fearing that I might regret it at some point. I think I may postpone surgery for another year if these fears continue, and give myself more time to feel sure about it.

Just remembering my fears and I was remembering my fear on how would people react to me, would I continue to still be alone and always alone for the rest of my life. Even though I have made some new friends, from a dating and relationship aspect, I am still very much lonely and my fear is that because I am working on bettering myself and making me happy that I am also going to die alone. So just the fear on how would people react to me and still feel that fear and then it leads to me being lonely even more. Thanks to the pandemic, the fear of being so lonely has amplified a lot more

All of my fears for the most part about transition in the beginning were related to external factors like fear of how people would treat me, whether or not my wife would want to stay with me, etc. In my heart I had very binary desires for what I wanted my body to be like and how I wanted to live, but coming out again and the expense of various interventions and fear of stigma kept me from transitioning for a long time. Once I was willing to deal with all of those consequences in order to do what was best for me I started my transition and have not looked back. I had plenty of other stuff going on too, internalized transphobia and stuff relating to manhood and masculinity but that stuff wasn’t what kept me from moving forward. It just came up over the course of the last year as I have been dealing with things.

How I cope with the fear of losing family when coming out is letting my colors shines at home and then put some inspirational music, or affirming phrases that I am what I am going through my mind to help stave off that fear. And most of all, I keeping hoping that my family members will be more open someday to the possibility that I am their sister/daughter in a male body.

Hi DrZ! Another on point video as always. It probably deserves a follow up with other top fears of transitioners. Just curious. among all of the fears with transition, does the fear that you won't get any changes with HRT come up that often? Thanks.

Rude intruding on Dr Z and her 1000 followers plus on KZfaq during her informational session. May need to put sometype of sign outside the door, the Dr. is in session. Wanted to ask, are there gender therapists, that are also transactional analysis trained? Great video by the way, like always Dr.Z🙂🙂

I transitioned in 2000 my biggest fear was losing my parents and friends as this was something I hid. I did go forward The relationships I gained were much more than what I lost. I was working the theatrical apprentice program and had to go to work completely dressed as female I had a wig on everything I had make up on her female clothes on. I was scared that I might get humiliated people might harass me I was just scared all around, but I did get a few of those confirming fears. In theater when I went to work I was mortified my legs were noodles I didn’t know what to do I was sooo scared but the people at work said we’ve been waiting for this for years (although I never told them until just a few days before this incident) we were just right there to support you on the other side of the closet door it was so reaffirming in my transition. My heart just glowed it gave me the strength to go forward not to say I didn’t have a bad moment but there were great people that loved and supported me early on. I am so blessed

This is unrelated to the topic of gender but I absolutely love your taste in jewelry. Very simple and beautiful pieces you have.

I did it! I spoke to my doctor today, I got referred to a counselling place, and I filled out the form! Done and done, right now at least I have NO FEAR at all. I am completely confident in my decision, when I spoke to my doctor today it was in naked frankness and he was nothing but encouraging. Have not talked to f/f/work but not worried at all; this is my life my decision and I am not going to deviate again. Doing this, damn the torpedoes.

My 2 main fears have been: 1. That I’ll always look like a woman even after hrt and 2. That “the grass is always greener on the other side” and life as a man will be harder than life as a woman which would make me regret transitioning.

Can you make a video on how to deal with patents that are scared of see there child transition? Your videos always come right when I need help. Thank you

Yes this is true!, i like your hairstyle ,you remind me on my art history teacher! xD first two fears are real for me.. :)

I'm most afraid of my partner breaking up with me when I start HRT. I've heard transition is very difficult for relationships. I love my partner and I hate the idea that my transition could cause him suffering. I'm also afraid of being ridiculed, or having to explain what nonbinary is to sceptical people. And employment, whether I'm going to be less employable. It's hard enough looking for jobs. Actually I've got all sorts of fears. Happily I've got my first appointment with a gender counsellor in a few weeks!

My fears are all about the external consequences of transition. I generally present as the gender I was assigned at birth when at home, because if I was more full-time or underwent medical transition, it would probably lead to my marriage breaking up, and the consequences of that (e.g. custody and support of kids) would be so complicated as well as painful that it's hard for me to see how it would not be worse than trying to straddle two gender roles/presentations

I always start with fear one, and then I overthink it and start to doubt myself to where it morphs into fear two. Add a fear of change that manifests in other ways away from gender. I'm a mess.

I'm in the process of watching your blog about your background and just wanted to tell you that I really like you because you are open and honest. It's really refreshing to see someone who can understand and objectify other people individually instead of grouping us all into a single category. 👌 For instance, I have gender disphoria, yet I'm not transgender, I cross dress, but not necessarily for sexual arousal, and I'm comfortable with my physical condition. I've fantasized about being female but never actually pursued transitioning. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your blog. Bye for now, Collin.

I hate the just take your time signal because it is the same as - you aren`t trans you are cis you will forever not have place and will feel something is off

If you're 18-20 and feel unsure and scared if you'll be happy transitioning, can I give you some insight? I'm 31, I started medically and legally transitioning at 29. But I knew I was trans when I was 19. And I have regret around how long I waited. There were good reasons and I respect my past self's choices. But I wish someone had told me how I would wish I could relive my 20s as I am now. I might have made some sacrifices to make it happen sooner. Good luck.

Almost all of my fear comes from fear of the unknown, I'm afraid of how others might treat me, if I might lose family, if I might never find a partner. I have spent my entire life trying to conform to the expectations of others because I'm amab. I live in a very small, traditional, community. I knew I was different growing up but that fact terrified me. It sounds bad but I hid and ran from any and all things, even the tiniest behavior, that could be perceived as "girly" because the idea of being hated scared me far more than acting that way made me comfortable. I don't know if that makes sense but I know I can't do it anymore. It's gotten to the point where if I keep doing that, I know I'll never really be happy. So I know this is what I want to do. If I was given the option to press a button and instantly turn into a cis woman and could never turn back there is no hesitation in me saying I would push that button in a heartbeat. At this point, as I'm sitting here nervous to schedule an appointment to start hrt, my biggest fear is being able to eventually pass. I know it's not a requirement, or necessary to be valid, but I have a mental image of the woman I want to be and I am terrified of never meeting that expectation. I'm 26 years old so I know there are things about my body that are at this point irreversible. I'm scared that this image is out of reach for me. I honestly don't even know if I am making any sense right now. I don't even know why I'm writing this comment, I'm not even publicly out. I really don't know, but I just found your channel today and have found the videos I've watch from you very comforting. So thank you ❤

Fear #1 I had but was able to work my way through it (and, yes, I had a lot of loss but never that which was most important to me, like my child). Never had Fear #2. My core fear has always been about whatever transition I'm able to achieve won't be enough to alleviate my gender dysphoria. My basic transition was "done" 16 years ago and I continue to have that fear and still have dysphoria (but not as bad). I'm thankful for the distance I've come and grateful for the resources I was able to put together to transition but I still, in many ways, feel "less than" and a second-rate transgender woman... not a woman. Yeah, yeah, some people are fine with that but I'm not. It is what it is, it's far better than never having transitioned but it still often feels inadequate and as though I'm missing a life I never had. Still working on it.

I was thinking about this last night 😅

My fear is about how people will treat me as a queer guy. I was AFAB and even if I am cis passing I am worried about how I will be treated for being a queer/non-conforming man because I want to wear feminine clothing. I guess I may find myself in crossdresser territory where I only express feminity in safe spaces. Now I can express feminity in public but I get misgendered as a woman. 7 weeks on low dose T and I really want to increase the dose.

I have a danger signal fear of violence towards me.

My gender therapist told me that it’s clear as water that in trans and yet I’m still so doubtful in myself

Dr Z thank you for your informative video. As a M2F person that I am now start g hormones 3 are my biggest fears. 1. What problems am i going to have relating to job finding. 2 When I will get old how I am going to feel... And am I sure, can I trust my brain.. Maybe I ll regret it... But then I go out as a woman and I relax and feel that everything is OK.

One or my concerns is like atm I don't have genital disphoria, but it's not uncommon for new disphorias to crop up during the process. And it's like I don't have disphoria with it atm, but if I end up needing to go on blockers inorder to progress due to limitation because of my T which could be artificially low atm due to a number of other things. Then I could find myself with something that barely functions and being distressed by that or just feeling it's not right altogether as I could have just been ok cause u know, boy, bod. I'd at that point be in a real crossroads situation. Ontop of that if I feel that way a year into my HRT, I'm like 2yrs away from having something I feel better about and can use or I have to go back to masquing that disphoria again but I don't think that works once u have the language to express it.

Like many others, my biggest fear was, what if I'll be an ugly woman or just look like a man trying to be a woman. Now 14 months on HRT I'm seeing a more feminine person looking back in the mirror and I smile. It's been a long time since I saw a smile in the mirror but now I can say I'm liking how changes are progressing.

Have you ever heard about "Cis OCD", which is the form of Trans OCD, but among trans people? I think it's a really interesting theme to discuss)

my biggest fear is socially transitioning and then wanting to go back... i really hate feeling dysphoria and im trying very hard to accept my cis female body but no matter how hard i try, i always keep questioning if im lying to myself or not. i cant feel comfortable wearing anything other than clothes that cover my whole body and i cant stop thinking about my gender identity even if i try to not think about it. i dont know what to do and i cant go to a psychologist because of covid... so my question is: is there a way to get rid of my dysphoria and feel comfortable as a female??

Really the only fear I have is not being able to find work after being in transition for awhile. Also my therapist brought up I have a really deep voice but I’m trying to work on that. Having a deep voice for the rest of my life would be bad and scary. I always have had dysphoria over my voice ever since puberty.

Dr Z, could u speak about theories like Autogeniphilia? how is it seen by the International medical and psychological community?

well since I am new 30 days in on hormones my biggest fear is number one I'm on Medi-Cal and bottom end surgery scares the crap out of me I don't know how good of a job is going to be done because of what will be paid by the state top end surgery I'm not worried about I'm trying to go natural they say I can't get more than a b cup that's fine with me it is what it is but I know it's going to be about a year or so before I can even think of surgeries and trying to get my doctor to send me to a psychologist so I can get the reference I need my doctor already said that she would give me that but I have to have both it just seems like it's going too slow for me but it is what it is thank you for the video this helped

As someone who’s realized now that’s I’m transgender(I always knew) is I’m afraid to because I’m deadly afraid of not being able to pass. I’m 40 look very manly(unfortunately) and live in a red state. But I’m in a damn if do or don’t situation.

I worry about being accepted into the world of women. I get "yes ma;amed" quite a lot and get asked "girl to girl" questions or comments, although I;m never quite sure how to respond. For example, have a nice winter coat, and a woman will often say, "I love your coat". I usually just say "thank you", but the way the situation unfolds, I think I could do better. (I'm still workinh on my voice, although I think that it's passable.) Perhaps, "it is a pretty coat, and no animals were harmed". Any other suggestions?

I've taken folcalin- dexmethylphenidate (meth without the amphetamine) Through elementary school for 4 years, constant hallucinations and the feeling of "mind control drug" in effect, when the DSM changed I went cold turkey with my memory not recording much over the next year, withdrawals? I felt like I was "running the gauntlet" around 16 with hearing of there being others at that age taking hormones There's an intense feeling about not having an quinceanera, a special party that celebrates young growing into maturity, I've cried twice about it tonight, first in sadness second in happiness at the notion of still being able to get the multicolored dress that needs me 😊 My concerns are intrinsic with how Ive heard about people having intense regret then removing themselves from the planet . . . Wer'e all clad from woman flesh I have a therapist who received a certification in the gender therapy, Thank you Go make a beautiful day, Dewit!

Idk why, but one thing I fear the most is my sexuality. I’ve struggled so much with this and am just finding out that it’s okay to be attracted to women only. I wish I would have known this sooner, bc it would not have conflicted with my gender identity and make my transition a lot easier. Still struggling but I’m more conscious of it 🥰 🏳️‍⚧️

If you are a boy it is normal to go through a phase of confusion where you question everything... as a parent the worst thing you can do is tell your child to fully embrace it and he or she should transition as soon as possible. There are countless stories where the child becomes of adult age and seriously regrets it. By than it is too late. Instead of embracing any gender (there are only 2 fyi) at 1st glance we should be considering mental illness and possibly the right steps for gender dysphoria. I pray to God you haven't sent a child to their death simply because of one's selfish believes. Help these children be clear of confusion and not affirm a phase.

33yo binary trans woman. My fear is almost purely about rejection, which has sadly been proven valid in many cases. I know this is the right path though, and the only time I doubt it is when I'm feeling rejection from others. I have essentially no fear of regret. Also, somehow I've always been very sure that I had the ability to endure transitition. Maybe it's because I'm very comfortable with change. I also have a very stable and secure home and work situation. Because it was easy to identify that all my fear was external, I've moved very quickly. I started hormones 2 weeks after I got over the fear of admitting that I'm trans, came out soon after, and I'll have SRS 1 year and 6 days after starting hormones. My fears of surgery are all about how my family will cope with my recovery period. I'm curious if you've seen others with such a lack of internal fear.

I do have a question I really hope you might be able to find the time to answer; How can I tell if I'm gaslighting myself in to being trans, rather than actually being trans, and is that something that someone can do to themself? I hope to start speaking to a therapist soon, but the UK NHS is notoriously slow for transgender folk. A small context, I recently have been to therapy for unrelated things and it's fractured my self image somewhat, making me face the parts of me that I aggressively repressed, combined with a very poor memory of my younger days I feel like my life was headed towards a bit of a surprise twist of being trans, but I can't rely on my memories, and I fear I'm gaslighting myself because it could be the 'easier' conclusion than what the truth may be. Obviously this is all bigger than a KZfaq comment and I'm not expecting you to type up a full in depth response. I hadn't seen a video on your channel discussing the idea of gaslighting one's self so I thought I'd ask if you had any thoughts on it. :) Have a great day :)

The only real doubt in my mind is about my face changing into something I won't like. I've known for years that I'd love to have a male body (planning on having top surgery and if science progresses enough probably bottom surgery), but the idea of T changing my face into something I won't recognize or like at all makes me doubt about taking T altogether (I'm guessing part of this fear also comes from never having a "pretty face" and knowing how sh*t I felt when I was considered "ugly" in my teen years)

Which type of fear is the fear that the hormones aren't going to be enough and that you won't pass? Or that you will be perceived as androgynous when you identify as binary? Would that be some kind of opposite of #3?

Does insurance cover the use of SERMs for non binary transitioning? Hips, breast, skin, emotional/ mental, and face changes are what I want but I don't want my face full feminine where as I'm good with everything else (sans genitals atm) and I know SERMs are used in menopausal women whom don't want all of the effects of estrogen. I'm also aware that SERMs are highly customizable. So if I get to a point where my face looks "perfect" to me but I'm still developing other things I don't want to shoot pass it because well I forsee being on Estrogen for a long time. 😅

If a transwoman wants to get rid of her beard and get a higher voice, there is voice lessons and laser surgery for that. So if you are an AFAB transnon-binary and you want beard but not a deeper voice or a deeper voice but no beard then can't you just get FtM hormones and then get voice lessons or laser surgery? Wouldn't that solve the problem?

....sometimes...the thought of transitioning..disgusts me...at the same time..I would rather be a woman...also I always revert to the thought of..even if I did transition..I wouldn't be an actual woman...anymore of a woman that I could be..I am embracing being a man...as some women want to be men...thank you..this is a good video.

I'm afraid to watch this in case I haven't developed one of the fears yet.

please make a video on how to know if I'm kidding myself to have dysphoria, i am discovering myself as a trans man and I am not at peace with me, I'm using google translator right now and my english is not so good soooo......I'm very desperate

I fear family things now. I did fear regretting hormones, when i first started thinking about them about 5 years or so ago

I have a fear of not becoming a beautiful girl or a fear that mabey am just crazy or overthinking abt this ( though i have all evidences in my self that proofs am girl ) but still being scared of not being one well am diagnosed of being a trans girl already am scared that my family won't accept me this will make things harder on me i guess that's it so still not sure what do do with those fears 💔