Top 5 Funniest Jokes from "Cinco" Jim Gaffigan

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Күн бұрын

These are the top 5 jokes from my standup special Cinco! Let me know down below if you agree with my order! PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.
BEST of / FUNNIEST COMPILATION
Animals bit.ly/AnimalsCompilation
Fast Food bit.ly/FastFoodCompilation
Jesus bit.ly/JesusComp
Clothing bit.ly/JGClothingCompilation
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
Stores bit.ly/JGStores
Catholic bit.ly/JGCatholic
Drinking • Best DRINKING Jokes | ...
Disney • Best Disney World Joke...
Japan • Best Japan Jokes | Jim...
HEALTHY & HAPPY Gardening
INTRO bit.ly/HappyandHealthy1
CORN bit.ly/HappyandHealthyCorn
THE PALE TOURIST
Asian American (Full Set) bit.ly/JGAsianAmerican
Florida Man (Full Set) bit.ly/JGFloridaMan
Ontario vs Quebec bit.ly/JGOntario
Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuperstition
Canadian Map bit.ly/JGCanadaMap
Tapas bit.ly/JGTapas
Moose bit.ly/JGMoose
Tourists bit.ly/JGTourist
Halifax Donair bit.ly/JGDonair
Rodeo bit.ly/JGRodeo
Drake Story bit.ly/JGDrake
QUALITY TIME
Marathons bit.ly/JGMarathons
Horses bit.ly/JGHorses
Lying bit.ly/JGLying
Dog Birthdays bit.ly/JGDogBirthday
Cold Weather bit.ly/JGColdWeather
NOBLE APE
My Wife's Brain Tumor bit.ly/JGBrainTumor
Massages bit.ly/JGMassage
Pope bit.ly/JGPope
My Least Favorite Doctor bit.ly/JGWorstDoctor
UK vs US bit.ly/JGUSAvCanada
CINCO
Morning Person bit.ly/JGMorning
Fish are Gross bit.ly/JGFishGross
Steak is Manly bit.ly/JGSteak
Hiking bit.ly/JGHiking
Idiot Abroad bit.ly/JGIdiotAbroad
Easier to be a Guy bit.ly/JGBeaGuy
Big Family bit.ly/JGBigFamily
OBSESSED
Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddingsyay
Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
Seafood bit.ly/JGSeafood
Bath vs Shower bit.ly/JGBathvShower
Can't Stop Eating bit.ly/JGstopeating
MR. UNIVERSE
Vitamins bit.ly/JGVitamins
Whales bit.ly/JGWhales
Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitnessGoals
Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomebirth
KING BABY
Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
Waffle House bit.ly/JGWaffleHouse
BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPocket
I'm Korean bit.ly/JGKorean
Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoingNothing
Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutToDinner
Cake bit.ly/JGCakes
Vegetarian bit.ly/JGVegetarian
SUPER OLD
Manatee bit.ly/JGManatee
Glasses bit.ly/JGGLasses
MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org tinyurl.com/y5fwmpb2
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast bit.ly/JGToast
Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Pizza bit.ly/JGPizzaLGC
Pasta bit.ly/JGPasta
Hot Dog Fest bit.ly/JGHotDogFest
Meatball Parm bit.ly/JGMeatball
Peas & Corn bit.ly/JGPeasandCorn
Mikey Takes Over bit.ly/JGMikey
Oatmeal Soup bit.ly/JGOatmeal
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlates
Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChickenFilet
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKansasCBBQ
Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBaconWrapped
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHotPocket
Spaghettios bit.ly/JGSPaghettios
Liverwurst bit.ly/JGLiverwust
Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Fluff bit.ly/JGFluff
Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
Garden Veggies • Eating from Jim Gaffig...
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
My Kids React my 1st 1/2 hr Special • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Fee (99 cents) donated to TheImagineSociety.org.
JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
St.Louis Pizza bit.ly/JimEatsTheWorld
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlate
Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolishboy
Spain bit.ly/JGSpainJETW
Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
PALE FORCE w/ Conan - • "Pale Force" - Jim Ga...
CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine • “Greetings from Quaran...
My Kids Ask Covid-19 • "MY KIDS ASK: About CO...
Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation • Jim Gaffigan CBS Sunda...
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600

Пікірлер: 192

@kristenisreal 2 жыл бұрын

Jim Gaffigan, the most underrated comedian.

@danield679 3 жыл бұрын

Only Jim could have the creativity to find humor with leaves dying and pine trees mocking them. So funny!

@joeyzuber117 2 жыл бұрын

That is literally one of the funniest things I've ever heard him do..... I just commented about it on another clip....Raking them up, telling kids to jump in them, and then burning them. I actually felt sorry for the leaves

@nallab3607 Жыл бұрын

2 years later and he is still funny 😉☺️

@trishcooley5810 Жыл бұрын

Brought by Patagonia but made popular by Eddie Bauer.

@trumql Жыл бұрын

Him and Michael McIntyre. Check out his bit about spices being abandoned in a cupboard.

@montanaelkwhisperer1744 2 жыл бұрын

"Wanna go outside?" "It's closed" Extra funny in 2022 after two plus years of lockdowns and isolation.

@stefs3460 3 жыл бұрын

Like carrying around an empty suitcase 😂

@davegenther6877 3 жыл бұрын

Jim can make anything funny. It’s a unique gift he has. He’s like a midwestern Seinfeld.

@ericscaillet2232 2 жыл бұрын

A class above though.

@natev1956 2 жыл бұрын

@@ericscaillet2232 I agree, although Seinfelds my favorite all time show, as far as stand-up, Jim wins hands down! Seen him live, superfunny 😁

@linshanhsiang 2 жыл бұрын

Nope. Jim is WAY funnier than Seinfeld.

@seven471 Жыл бұрын

Don't insult Jim

@mistym.8480 11 ай бұрын

Can't wait to see Jim and Seinfeld on tour together in Chicago! Got my tickets!

@jen3800 3 жыл бұрын

Mr Gaffigan, I just want to tell you how much your work means to me. You always make me smile and I need that now. Thank you. Have a great day!

@iammeandyouaremeable 3 жыл бұрын

I have 3 kids under 4y/o and busy processing all my garden produce right now and Jim is like my coffee. THANK YOU, Mr. Gaffigan❤

@stoney139 Жыл бұрын

WAIT……WHAT???!!! 3 Kids under 4, are you kidding me???!!! And we did this BECAUSE……….???😮😮😮😮

@alayololslol5424 3 жыл бұрын

This guy is on another level.

@johncesario4942 2 жыл бұрын

I get out of bed at 5 am to feed cats then go back until 11am...I need 💤😴

@myishenhaines1706 3 жыл бұрын

Wanting to blame someone for the weather....so true! Lol

@robertkirkendall2010 3 жыл бұрын

Back when I owned a pickup truck I became very popular when friends needed help moving, even though my truck was only a little Mazda B2000 with no power.

@nichenetwork9817 3 жыл бұрын

I ate a truck once. Hertz.

@allenpatton2919 2 жыл бұрын

Even now in 2021 youre still helping me through hard times. You were my mom's absolute favorite comedian that always made her day. In her last days you STILL had her rolling. You STILL keep me laughing just like you did her when we got to watch you both together when we still had her, youve helped me by making me laugh through some hard times even to this day Jim. Thank you. Your humor heals. I love showing you to friends - Jim is definitely a hall of legend comedians. The man can make any generation laugh and only those people from i think theyre called al... Al que da something dont enjoy him. *shot*

@itzelmayoral729 3 жыл бұрын

Jim i think you are the sweetest man on earth. My favorite part Is when you thank people for watching. You came to my hometown once (Querétaro, México) and didnt come to see you. I reagret It now. Big hugs to you 😘

@debracastro7163 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for all your wonderfully funny videos. God Bless you and your love ones.

@sideshowtink 3 жыл бұрын

Hilarious! I did almost spit my sip of brew out when you said 'I have 5 kids and they just carry me around' The pick up truck thing was so funny. And the donuts. LOL This was stellar!

@Ender7j 3 жыл бұрын

The Cracker Barrel reference was spot on 🤣

@bntaft5133 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Jim.

@allisonr9607 3 жыл бұрын

I love the Altra hiking shoe ad immediately following the hiking segment 👍

@vallileone3015 3 жыл бұрын

You are richly blessed. What a gift!!!

@frankho99 3 жыл бұрын

The leaves bit beats everything 👌 everything

@296jacqi 3 жыл бұрын

17:11 My favorite stand up joke(s) EVER by anyone. It’s so beautiful the way the leaves DIE.

@clivewells7090 3 жыл бұрын

Your pic makes you look half Ferengi..! X

@asolano 3 жыл бұрын

That voice @3:48... I bet Jim could make a killer John Malkovich impression if he tried.

@gdhayes2761 3 жыл бұрын

“Everyone who owns a pickup never picks anything up.” Ain’t that the truth. This one gets me cry-laughing the tears of a clown.

@sonnyburnett8725 3 жыл бұрын

Or drive those pickup trucks with four wheels on the backend, mirrors that hang out to the next lane and raised up like a semi truck and looks like it’s stored in a nasa clean room and always driven by a little old guy.

@sillyme2846 3 жыл бұрын

@@sonnyburnett8725 😄 it's called a dually

@klimtkahlo 2 жыл бұрын

@@sonnyburnett8725 short man syndrome. The shorter the man the bigger the pick up truck! And they drive that crap in the most densely populated neighborhoods where there is no parking! I could strangle them!!!

@drummergirl495 3 жыл бұрын

I’ve watched you for way too many years and all I can say is...thank you for the laughs and you should have a million subscribers....🥰

@TheMrwipple 3 жыл бұрын

Great stuff, Jim. Stay motivated - because you motivate us! Thanks for the laughs!

@hummingbird1999 2 жыл бұрын

Good morning you always make me giggle in the morning thank you ☺️

@MohammadAlabed 3 жыл бұрын

I watch all ads because Jim is awesome and he deserves all the support :)

@sonalpandya2770 3 жыл бұрын

Jim!! Thank you, you made me laugh out loud again. You are genius!

@joeverrechia7383 2 жыл бұрын

Laughter is the best, and so is Jim.

@debz6110 3 жыл бұрын

Ah Jim, This shelter-in-place would be so much more unbearable without your contribution of fun!!! Thanks man.

@jamesbarbato2192 2 жыл бұрын

Jim you are my absolute my favorite comedian! Thank you for making me laugh for so many years. ❤️

@bababuyiekaban7942 3 жыл бұрын

Jumbo, you need to welcome hiking into your life! 🤣

@karlbaschal3245 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for giving us a bit of sunshine and laughter. My husband and I truly appreciate the jokes. You are very kind to do that for everyone.

@misfitsanddreamers 3 жыл бұрын

You are hysterically funny

@geminiecricket4798 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 a true gentleman.

@ericmelto7810 3 жыл бұрын

Real people that get up early on Saturday start drinking early on Saturday.

@shanks4391 3 жыл бұрын

Yup. Crack a beer, mow the lawn

@annioutandaboutvintage2285 3 жыл бұрын

A man for All seasons!! Hilarious!

@philipberthiaume2314 2 жыл бұрын

I haven't had a donut in years, after watching this video, I actually feel like having one. Maybe tomorrow :)

@streetrodexpert Жыл бұрын

Love Jim, laughter 🤣 has me in tears from him..Anthony

@asdw3d Жыл бұрын

Best comedian ever!

@nathanpowers8313 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing the magic!

@bfkennedy 3 жыл бұрын

Jim is the best! 😂❤️

@suebrown3465 3 жыл бұрын

Only Jim can give fall leaves personalities! Another great video❤️

@francescaa8331 3 жыл бұрын

That was a fun way to start my day. Thank you.

@plutobeliever 3 жыл бұрын

As a kid winters in Pennsylvania were pretty brutal also..."...ahh, the foliage..." LOL

@wilclark2272 3 жыл бұрын

When I was 14 my mother and sister and I lived in Boulder, Colorado, behind a Dunkin' Donuts, and at night my mother would make me crawl in to the dumpster to retrieve the bags of day old donuts and munchkins. And..., my father was the manager of a Burger King in New Mexico and would bring home the old burgers and fries before they were about to go in the trash. My sister and I grew up eating garbage and now have eating disorders.

@Ladygaga4047 3 жыл бұрын

Brilliant

@bookbwitched466 3 жыл бұрын

Addendum 🌲 I really have been doing the laughter therapy. Today, my neighbor called my daughter "Is your momma ok?" My Fab daughter told this snoopy old gossip that I am seeing someone and having a wonderful time! Then she called to see why I was laughing so much. Guess I've been hitting the Gaffigan more than 20 minutes a day. Maybe I'll throw in a passionate moan or two, set a timer for the best moan of passion timing, my reputation is set forever...can I get an Amen!! Lets do the Dance of Joy!! Practice for a better time in America! Be safe, everyone, Google Laugh Therapy and settle down for the most fun attitude adjustment ever, Gaffigan style.🌲

@WilliamFHenry 3 жыл бұрын

If you ever did go hiking Jim, maybe you'd run into the Bushman; not quite as bad as confronting Jason or even Freddy, but I'll bet you'd respond quickly to the impromptu 100 yard dash! You would be moving so fast, Sasquatch would be jealous!😆

@auberjean6873 3 жыл бұрын

Oh Jim. When people asked me how I lost the weight I needed to lose I tell 'em the Jim Gaffigan diet. You can't eat when you're laughing! Thanks Jim!

@aftersexhighfives Жыл бұрын

Fun fact leaves are always those colors it's just when the tree stops giving the leaves nutrients that it stops getting the chlorophyll that makes them appear overall green. So him screaming "oh I need chlorophyll" as the voice of the leaves is extra funny because it's scientifically funny.

@thedeekabides 3 жыл бұрын

"Can we go outside?" "It's closed." Heh. There are viral jokes in here

@stereoroid 3 жыл бұрын

“Viral”. Heh.

@wilclark2272 3 жыл бұрын

Talk about being prophetic. "Outside's gonna be closed for at least six months, and no, you can't have any of my spicy ice cream." LoL

@wilclark2272 3 жыл бұрын

@@NukelearFallout If I have to explain it to you you won't get it.

@wilclark2272 3 жыл бұрын

@@NukelearFallout You're funny. 😁

@wilclark2272 3 жыл бұрын

@@NukelearFallout Good for you. And you can stop replying to me now because I've lost interest. Can you still see planet Earth from a-top your pedastle?

@tomo.3678 3 жыл бұрын

A stellar compilation as always! Thanks Jim! ☘☘☘

@MadamFoogie 3 жыл бұрын

It was 38º and rainy here today, and I feel like someone pulled the rug out from underneath me. Meanwhile, the entire west coast is on fire.

@ThePHYL 3 жыл бұрын

MadamFoogie ....oh I wish we had rain here in Arizona....i think it’s been 6 months since we had a drop of rain....we look forward to the monsoons, but this year we haven’t had one, weird....well if we lived through the year we had 122 degrees we can live through anything

@MadamFoogie 3 жыл бұрын

@@ThePHYL The hottest it ever got here in my lifetime was 116º. But I didn't have air conditioning. To compensate, I took two box fans, and taped a bedsheet to the edges of them, one at the foot of the bed and the other leaning on the headboard. Made a makeshift wind tunnel. Just spend the whole day in my windy little bunker, drinking ice water and reading novels to pass the time. That was a rough summer.

@josephyork4175 3 жыл бұрын

People that get up at 6AM are the kind that like to hurry up and wait.

@grandmanatalie 3 жыл бұрын

I used to have a hot pink pickup with a roll bar. It had one bumper sticker that said mean people suck. I was cool for a quick minute.

@chatsagain 3 жыл бұрын

A good human

@sybillestahl8646 3 жыл бұрын

I bought a second hand pottery wheel for just fifty dollars, because all the other people who were willing to pay more couldn’t get the heavy unwieldy thing into their cars, but I have a brother-in-law with a pickup truck. Thanks Keith!

@joebykaeby 3 жыл бұрын

This is because I just commented about how I had forgotten a lot of the Cinco jokes, isn't it? Ah Jim, you sneaky dog. You know me so well.

@corinnemcmillan8681 3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely hilarious!

@Michael-s2p3p 3 жыл бұрын

Great stuff, thx!

@jimgaffigan 3 жыл бұрын

Glad you liked it!

@rhondapohlman509 3 жыл бұрын

Oh yeah Saturday morning...can we go outside? Its closed! 😅🤣😂

@WilliamFHenry 3 жыл бұрын

The winter time is hard for some couples. The guy's thinking about the cold and then remembering the last time she used his legs as a foot warmer. Then she's thinking about how delirious he gets from the cold weather when he asks for a special CPR... Oh the winter time blues!🤔

@atgb143 3 жыл бұрын

I fancy a donut or two right now. Last time I had one was when you posted the donut compilation few months ago. 🍩😋 The midwest and east coast have the best fall foliage. I got to see and enjoy it when my mom and I went on a trip/vacation years ago. 🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂😂😂😂❤🧡💜

@ishy78ishy 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks Jim !!

@JohnDoe-dh3xc Жыл бұрын

Jim so awesome 😂😂😂

@WilliamFHenry 3 жыл бұрын

Weren't you on an episode of the Simpsons one time Jim? If not, that'd be cool. You could have a donut eating contest with Homer and then the both of you could save the world; two dreams coming true in one episode!🤣

@crumpingtons 2 жыл бұрын

He was on Bob's Burgers, fyi

@mistym.8480 11 ай бұрын

I think he also guested on Sex and the City. I think he was the guy that Miranda dated who would take a s*** with the bathroom door open.

@jeannecraig8552 Ай бұрын

You’re wonderful! Thank you.

@rebekahboyer4519 3 жыл бұрын

Remember, ♥️Dolling; you are wOnderful; don't let the Vampires persuade you to insert demoralizing 'Political', A-Hem! 🤣 embeds ~

@waterbender9939 3 жыл бұрын

What kind of car are you renting? Blue. Is that four or six cylinders? Blue.

@37Raffaella 3 жыл бұрын

Jim....next time you come to Madrid or Barçelona..I will be sitting in the first row!!! Remember this...

@tonybramham5184 3 жыл бұрын

these vids are really enjoyable....

@darinsingleton3553 3 жыл бұрын

Hey, Jim. Thanks.

@kemarisite Жыл бұрын

When I was 18 I went hiking as part of a weeklong group trip in northeast Oregon, at the end of July. We got SNOWED OUT IN JULY on the second day. About leaves: "I'll just set them on fire." Or, as a Congressman said over 3 decades ago when flag burning was an issue, "My constituents can't even burn LEAVES."

@billydrumskin777 3 жыл бұрын

I could listen to Jim read the paper. Not that he would because it requires reading. Lol We need more Heath Horner in our lives.

@almaalma3871 3 жыл бұрын

I when to Wisconsin In December and I almost Die. My god I never been exposed to such of cold 🥶 People in Christmas 🎄 time when to Ice Fishing 🎣 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

@doogalloonni 3 жыл бұрын

You have some great writers... I understand they have 5 kids- They're gonna need good senses of humor!

@Sunset553 Жыл бұрын

I think it’s him and his wife. Yeah, good humor well written for stand up

@Brighton_evans 3 жыл бұрын

Wasup Jim (pls reply) you are so funny and I listen to your specials all the time. Don’t stop what you are doing because I want to meet you one day

@michelletavakoli 3 ай бұрын

Sometimes in mild snow depths / winter temps it’s beautiful to walk in local trail parks during snowfall or right after.

@cynthiap1927 3 жыл бұрын

Carl the leaf😂🍁

@WHR0306 2 жыл бұрын

How do you never use cruise control? I'd die without cc!

@sp-vf3cu Жыл бұрын

Lol - outside is closed 🤣

@ab-zo6jt Жыл бұрын

RAM though!!! I'm not a truck guy but I'm pretty sure it's Ford's slogan.😂

@Jane-nt3vy Жыл бұрын

Can we go outside? Its closed 😂😂😂😂

@ARichardP Жыл бұрын

Instead of towing an aircraft carrier I only see you going to Cracker Barrel with your pickup truck. Lol

@j03thesquid 3 жыл бұрын

16:50 Colorado in a nutshell.

@SarahVincent2023 9 ай бұрын

Hi Jim, I’m hard at work expanding your fan base with everyone I know. You’re doing the work, really, just wanted you to know you’re appreciated! 😁

@Emeraldcity70 Жыл бұрын

"Let's Invade Iraq!"- Oh Jim, my cure for depression.

@nickisnyder3450 3 жыл бұрын

In phoenix those summer jokes wouldnt work....we dread it, hate it, hide inside for it

@ThePHYL 3 жыл бұрын

Nicki Snyder I live in Arizona also and what happened to the monsoon this year ?? It always comes by now........ oh remember the year we had 122 degrees....

@Budley 3 жыл бұрын

My honeymoon dinner was at Cracker Barrel. Yep! and I drive a truck. Was he talking about me?

@erikcal9097 2 жыл бұрын

I get up at 4:00 a.m. every morning so really hate me.

@terrimewdasher8956 3 жыл бұрын

We love winter and fall here in the south. Summer can go to hell lol

@jameswoolford2698 9 ай бұрын

Nice clean humour ❤️✔️🔥

@rpowarz 3 жыл бұрын

52 people can't count to Cinco😂🤣

@FamBAMiLee 3 жыл бұрын

FOLIAGE! When the leaves meet their demise!

@rattified 2 жыл бұрын

Jim you could live ANYWHERE, why New York City of all places? Get a house in NC on the beach, go live on the battery in Charleston, buy a ranch in TN & fill it with animals....