Traveller Review

Traveller Review | Ashens

Рет қаралды 353,127

Күн бұрын

I made this for the StickAID charity fest in 2011 where it was shown between live segments. It's never been uploaded to their channel so I'm spewing it out here for your viewing indifference.
Kindly, merchandise-purchasing viewers will notice that this is an HD re-review of an item that appeared as part of a video on my DVD.
Also - this video had to be exactly five minutes long to the second. Imagine how hard that is when you're making it up as you go along in a single take. I filmed about six failed versions where I ran out of time...

Пікірлер: 617

@Firetomysoul 9 жыл бұрын

these were actually used by truck drivers. If you looked at the bottom there is a socket that could be plugged into the truck computer and give the driver info about fuel and cost to drive.

@PongyPenguin 10 жыл бұрын

Oh my god. My Dad was involved in making this. I can confirm it sold more than 12 units.

@MegaAstroTube 10 жыл бұрын

12.5?

@M1n3MC 10 жыл бұрын

12,0001?

@OwenLyne-ss6js 10 жыл бұрын

12.000000000000000003

@dannylagangonzalez6832 10 жыл бұрын

12.000000000000000001?

@PongyPenguin 10 жыл бұрын

Danny Laga My god this comment didn't need five replies of near identical numbers. *dies*

@HighFidelityTrumpetMan 10 жыл бұрын

HEY EXCUSE ME, I LIVE IN LOWESTOFT AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW... Wait shit, you're right.

@CycloneJoey518 3 жыл бұрын

I know this is hella late but yeah i agree and I've been living here all my life help me

@cielopachirisu929 9 жыл бұрын

This seems like one of those ideas that sounds really good on paper...

@Insertmiddlefinger 9 жыл бұрын

Yeah, and honestly, if the execution was as good as the idea, the world would suddenly become a better place... Or something...

@difym37 7 жыл бұрын

Appreciate the subtle pun ;P

@GaMMERKitten 7 жыл бұрын

Cielo Pachirisu I love your profile picture

@cielopachirisu929 7 жыл бұрын

MunecraftNation :)

@anonymoususer7612 3 жыл бұрын

Like communism

@caffeinerage 12 жыл бұрын

In the States (Great Britain 2.0) there was a similar product, only more specialized, sold in the late 80s and early 90s. It was solely what businesses and services were on a particular exit on an interstate. Not only did you have to type in which interstate you're on while driving 70MPH; but you also had to put in which mile marker you're at and which direction you were heading. Then, if you could make out the tiny print on the buttons, it would tell you what was coming up. Just like a sign.

@SZenithLee 12 жыл бұрын

Spent more time than I should looking for info about this device (I love old dysfunctional electronics). To my horror there actually are updated versions for this, you can look for "Lexibook (or Philips) route finder" on ebay. And they DID release new cards for this thing, at least in 1999 and 2001. Also there supposedly are cards for European cities outside UK (such as Paris). The best thing is that "No need for GPS intervention or hassle" is actually listed as a feature.

@Chillius 9 жыл бұрын

Uhm excuse me but in America we don't call them crisps we call them بھیڑ کی آنتوں

@naurunappula1 9 жыл бұрын

Its very strange in finland. We call them haista vittu tyhmä. Translate it to be sure

@Chillius 9 жыл бұрын

YEAH WE'RE JOKING, TAKE A JOKE

@zachbaker6023 9 жыл бұрын

Tasu Sutinen fuck you finns Norway will fuck you up anyday

@zachbaker6023 9 жыл бұрын

Tasu Sutinen nah we Norwegians hate finns

@naurunappula1 9 жыл бұрын

Doctor Celly Why?

@PreallygProductions 12 жыл бұрын

Who wouldn't love going on a roadtrip from Milton Keynes to Hemsby with Ashens?

@BBC600 Жыл бұрын

Now that would make for an interesting video to watch Ashens using outdated directions for a roadtrip.

@thedoctor9808 10 жыл бұрын

Great Britain 1.0 sounds like sounds like an antagonist's plot to destroy the world from some cheesy James Bond film.

@PieGotFace 9 жыл бұрын

Great Britain Great Britain 1.0 1.0 sounds like sounds like sounds like sounds like an antagonist's plot an antagonist's plot to destroy to destroy the world the world from some from some cheesy cheesy James Bond film James Bond film.

@ClockworkOrangeImagination 7 жыл бұрын

“The next 5 minutes” Holy shit, it really was 5 minutes, literally 5:00. Good timing.

@davistoa 3 жыл бұрын

According to the description, it was a MUST for it to be 5 minutes down to the second. Amazing work.

@LordMoku 11 жыл бұрын

We have one of these... my mum still uses it too. Not in the car, mind, but it's a good way to get an idea of how long it will take to get from A to B without having to go onto the computer (as elders are loathed to do). So... it has it's uses, even if it is laughable by today's standards.

@TCWordz 9 жыл бұрын

Well, it's better than printing the instructions from the internet and crossing each one off once you have done it, which is what my family still seem to do despite owning a perfectly good sat nav. And a map.

@PatrickEwen 12 жыл бұрын

Good to hear Aberdeen get a mention. Hooray!

@Insertmiddlefinger 8 жыл бұрын

Great Britain 2.0 "Because sequals suck" "An excellent point"

@caitlinbobete6276 10 жыл бұрын

"Where's Great Britain 2.0? Is that America?" Haha.

@Insertmiddlefinger 9 жыл бұрын

Nah, that is "The Bad Britain"

@allenoddguy8865 4 жыл бұрын

@peterjackson4309 3 жыл бұрын

@@Insertmiddlefinger you taxed our tea

@melvinraflores8242 2 жыл бұрын

Wrong. That's Clownland, not GB2.0

@rwaitwhat 7 жыл бұрын

Ashens: The Family That Buys Odd Electronics And Never Throws Them Away

@joep9688 9 жыл бұрын

"Great Britain 2.0" America!

@harrier331 9 жыл бұрын

lol, hardly. America is more like a side project program alongside the main original project.

@newworldorderservice2312 9 жыл бұрын

***** even though this side project is much bigger and more powerful. Also a superpower of the entire network,

@BeaverIAB 9 жыл бұрын

I would say more Great Britain v1.6 beta

@tannhauserr 9 жыл бұрын

Beaver In A Blender *Alpha

@Insertmiddlefinger 8 жыл бұрын

+Joseph Polette Sequals suck.

@Ovinicus 10 жыл бұрын

I do love living in Britains most geographically ludicrous city :P

@TrapnestShinigami 12 жыл бұрын

"Ancient Laptops" I laughed more than what I should have

@misslead1122 12 жыл бұрын

Your use of satire is quite oustanding and makes me laugh all the time. Spot on ya!

@Broc13 12 жыл бұрын

I like how Seussical all Great Britain places sound. "Hemsby," "Bumbleflumbleburg," "Pippenlickey McShoobietown," "Floobendoopyshire," It's cute. And no, this wasn't an insult, I genuinely like it haha.

@TonksMoriarty 10 жыл бұрын

It'd take you 16h 56min to get from Milton Keynes to Hemsby via Aberdeen.

@killerbee2562 8 жыл бұрын

Ashen you missed a opportunity to quote ghost busters! "The traveler has come!"

@DarkLight753 8 жыл бұрын

I knew a girl in Lowestoft....up for anything. Met her while I was on business. She was gorgeous and she never used to charge me as much as her other clients. But she was the only reason I ever visited that God forsaken place. Damn shame when I gave her a bun in the oven and she went out of business. But I'll always have fond memories of the area and lusty lucy.

@cheatsenabled1662 8 жыл бұрын

I would pay money to have the memory of reading this comment erased.

@cygil1 8 жыл бұрын

+CheatsEnabled Clearly Darklight is a man who enjoys searching for routes.

@DarkLight753 8 жыл бұрын

+cygil1 Lol, couldn't have said that better myself

@TheSpyChecker 6 жыл бұрын

If i had to pay to have sex with a women i'd probably be very, very depressed. Not that i haven't, you know, when i was younger....but once you realise it's a waste of money, and that clubs are just a more fun way to go....not always cheaper, if you count all the pills, coke, and drinks and entries, but you know. Still more fun.

@Daedalus4 5 жыл бұрын

What the fuck brother

@thepokekid01 12 жыл бұрын

@gatsumoro I love watching Ashen's reviews before going to bed. He has an angelic and soothing voice; I think if he ever were attacked by a bear he could shout it to sleep.

@solhamer3502 10 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Cinco!

@Eddyag 12 жыл бұрын

Is that an old joystick port on the bottom of the traveller like the ones on the mega drive/genesis, atari and commodore 64

@MacMashPotato 12 жыл бұрын

you inspire me ashens

@rickydoingtech 12 жыл бұрын

When I tried to watch this episode before, my pc died, going for another try...

@NoProHarrie 8 жыл бұрын

This machine should just say follow the signs to wherever you are going and let that be that.

@DOSRetroGamer Жыл бұрын

This usually fails as your target will certainly not show up on every intersection you come across, unless it's a really big or important place.

@KennyTew2 7 жыл бұрын

An excellent sat nav!

@HandlebarOrionX 12 жыл бұрын

Looks like a home-security system from TIGER Electronics!

@HA1LILPALAZZO 11 жыл бұрын

XD you are right about getting out of Milton Keynes as fast as possible lol

@Omiesalman93 10 жыл бұрын

Oi. I'll have you know that Milton Keynes is only a little bit shit.

@rihardsrozans6920 10 жыл бұрын

A bit shit is a perfect reason not to go there.

@thelolbells 12 жыл бұрын

the popstations thought on sat navs.....gawd..

@oracle5766 10 жыл бұрын

ironically i live right next to milton keynes and own a chalet in hemsby. now i feed special.

@oracle5766 10 жыл бұрын

hahahahaha i have no fucking clue what i was typing

@cockatieltime2259 3 жыл бұрын

When you said lets go somewhere nice and wrote hem i was like noway your going to say hemel Hempstead is nice 😂

@Chillius 9 жыл бұрын

I live near milton keynes, is that bad or good?

@steirabua861 9 жыл бұрын

It's bood

@ft6755 9 жыл бұрын

***** Near milton keynes here too mate, as long as you're not in it you're alright.

@Chillius 9 жыл бұрын

Traitorbagel ah thats good :)

@clarissamcpigeon7857 9 жыл бұрын

***** Milton Keynes isn't that bad. Lowestoft is... best not discussed.

@Chillius 8 жыл бұрын

By the way Milton Keynes hospital only ruined my arm when i brke it, dumbasses xd

@GreekHomer 12 жыл бұрын

OMG it's like I'm looking in to the future :O

@JoepRombouts 12 жыл бұрын

Awesome!

@kjw21411 12 жыл бұрын

Why'd it HAVE to be only 5 mins???

@videogamedude68 12 жыл бұрын

I think I saw a different review of the same product on your Ashenthology DVD? Or am I mistaken?

@TheZagar099 11 жыл бұрын

"Right this second" *ad pops up*

@UndisclosedGuitarGuy 12 жыл бұрын

nice touch to that ending xD

@SolidSonicTH 6 жыл бұрын

Should I donate money to UNICEF?

@takashikamiyama4607 12 жыл бұрын

it's as sweet as an angel's voice

@IanC14 6 жыл бұрын

I used to go on holiday in Lowestoft every year…

@kourii 11 жыл бұрын

it's in miles? how old is that? (Also, I keep seeing the 'm' and thinking metres, which makes for some preposterously quick directions)

@Doellimann 7 жыл бұрын

Like the electronic road books which are used in Rallye events...

@Doellimann 7 жыл бұрын

And I would love to use this old pile of junk today! 😁

@OJANproject 11 жыл бұрын

YES achievement unlocked

@Geraffel 8 жыл бұрын

Soo... How is this thing gonna start the Golden age of mankind? And when will the Fallen arrive? Also Crota and Oryx? What about Atheon? Or does the Traveler need more time? Also I thought the Traveler was some kind of big white Orb...

@andreaoak 8 жыл бұрын

Ha! Good to know I wasn't the only one relating this with the broken traveler.. Imagine if you had to use this rather than your ghost to find your way!

@mattmolloy636 7 жыл бұрын

Stefan Lightle lul nerd...

@SetsuneW 12 жыл бұрын

Great Britain 2.0 is clearly located on Earth 2, the quickly-cancelled 1994 sci-fi television series.

@RAMChYLD 12 жыл бұрын

Kinda reminded me of Google Maps on my old HTC TyTN I back in 2007. No GPS, and you have to manually tell Google maps that you've moved on by using the d-pad on the phone to navigate. It's even worse than the traveller in that if you lost cellphone signal (and that happens a lot back then- what I get for using a budget Cell co), hope your instincts are accurate. On the plus side tho, at least it shows a map...

@ruijipikunitsuku 11 жыл бұрын

Yay for us in Great Britain 2.0!

@ISemiI 11 жыл бұрын

Where can I find 8.0? I'm stuck with 7.5 :(

@ZILOGz80VIDEOS 12 жыл бұрын

please to a review of the apple emate 300

@VREDFOX 12 жыл бұрын

how do i determine the version of my country?=)

@curtmack 12 жыл бұрын

@KamiofMisery And we had a bug with the make scripts, so we can't upgrade.

@specifictubes 11 жыл бұрын

Sounds nice. I've been to Wigan.

@Themaniacnextdoor 11 жыл бұрын

Also, I can image waiting for this to find the route on a strange road whilst a family of cannibals slowly close in on me.

@iComment2k9 11 жыл бұрын

I completely agree with the Lowestoft comment, take me to Hemsby!

@mandygreen6718 5 жыл бұрын

Athens should challenge himself and go on the road put in a destination and only follow it and see if he can arrive at that destination and not cheat by using google maps! That would be interesting to see!!!

@MrScottishGamer 9 жыл бұрын

When i heard the end i had to like the vid

@pferreira1983 8 жыл бұрын

+Mr Scottish Gamer To be honest for it's day it would have been quite effective. The obvious problem is always having to refer to it.

@lolzabubbles 12 жыл бұрын

lol...Ashens....you should be a stand up comedian!!

@NotThatKindOfOrc115 11 жыл бұрын

I live in Milton Keynes and laughed like crazy when he mentioned it, because.. well.. I live In Milton Keynes..

@SoulSalsaSoul 12 жыл бұрын

I had one of these when I was younger and it never failed me, so god knows what was up with everyone else's

@Themaniacnextdoor 11 жыл бұрын

I still use road maps, mainly the Texaco ones.

@onelonelypickle 10 жыл бұрын

Isn't the year 1493 when Columbus set sail? Did you know that when you said that :P

@rtyui136 10 жыл бұрын

1492, actually.

@onelonelypickle 10 жыл бұрын

Well he left for his second voyage in '93 :)

@rtyui136 10 жыл бұрын

Yep.

@Insertmiddlefinger 9 жыл бұрын

Zach McDonald And is leaving for his third in 2034, hopefully he will have learned to navigate to actually reach India this time...

@TamrielicScholar 6 жыл бұрын

And he used this device to figure out where to go

@HarukaLPs 11 жыл бұрын

I use both apple and windows and like them both...

@ZINGRAFLE 12 жыл бұрын

@AviatorStudios :O Divine's praise you kind sir!

@DreadFool1177 12 жыл бұрын

@MASTERLINKX1 The pound symbol. Since he shops at Pound Land a lot.

@IlliterateIdiot 7 жыл бұрын

What year did this TRAVELLER come out?

@IvanovIvanAKrutoi 4 жыл бұрын

This looks like something made in the early-mid 90's, so I'm gonna assume around 1993-1994.

@TheXGamer969 12 жыл бұрын

@MrSkinnyBill There are actual GPS navigation apps if you want "GPS navigation" that work like that instead of "google maps" which is what comes with the iPhone.

@ewandougie 12 жыл бұрын

I live in Milton Keynes... And Yes I do want to get out as fast as possible

@deniskenn 12 жыл бұрын

@LaszeWins just out of curiousuty, what was the joke you made

@manictiger 12 жыл бұрын

All pride is a Ruse. Joy is what you should be after, not pride. Pride's that emotion you get when you're kicked out of the bar at 1AM in the morning with a blood alcohol content of 108.7 and you run up to a cop car yelling all sorts of mess at his windshield...

@vintagestuffguy1998 10 жыл бұрын

Ancient laptops? Dr Ashen, sir, you offend me!

@oldsainttitty 9 жыл бұрын

I agree

@Motordiciton 11 жыл бұрын

I also live in Milton Keynes and its OK for a sixth form student like me. Well, its better than Blackpool at least. Like most places, all the buses I've been on here are late and smell quiet bad. That's due to me not having a drivers license. Oh I can't wait until I get to go to university...most likely in Norwich though.

@ModdedMischief 11 жыл бұрын

Where did you get your information? Answers.com?

@LiviuDragon 5 жыл бұрын

is this a GPS ?

@gwishart 5 жыл бұрын

No. The device has no way of knowing where you are. It basically displays a list of directions which you have to manually step through by pressing the arrow keys. Similar to a printout from a route planner.

@goanimatenetwork3550 8 ай бұрын

@@gwishart😂😂😂

@TheMarioManiac 7 жыл бұрын

When a youtuber mentions the city you live in... Aberdeen.

@clonetrooper75 12 жыл бұрын

Give it a good weathering and you've got yourself a Pip-Boy.

@user9f0j23fj2f 11 жыл бұрын

I come from Lowestoft :

@viper22lr 12 жыл бұрын

@MultiKnifelover What would be considered the south? Are you trying to say everyone who lives below he entire southern equator and who also happens to live in the Americas is bad?

@hitmewithacliche 12 жыл бұрын

Oi! I live in Lowestoft :-P Never been to MK but I'm afraid I agree. Haha.

@Tpavra 12 жыл бұрын

I used to have one of these!!!

@LaszeWins 12 жыл бұрын

@DokiDokiP Yea he is. Thats probably why it made me more sad than it should. It was like our year-long virtual friendship ended that night :P

@TechMikesChannel 12 жыл бұрын

"An Excellent Navigation Device"

@mspenrice 11 жыл бұрын

It puts me in mind of the early versions of Autoroute, on the Atari/Amiga and MSDOS PCs. Except those did at least have maps... and you could of course use them on the laptop flavours of ST and PC, making this sort of thing slightly redundant. Also I just raced it against myself, looking up Hemsby and tracing back to Milton using GMaps (but just my eyes, not GM's own routefinder). Dead heat. Says it all really?

@YodaMan177 11 жыл бұрын

I LIVE IN ABERDEEN...South Dakota.

@cavedweller2000 12 жыл бұрын

@LaszeWins Sorry to hear that Lasse. I was curious, so I read your tweet. Ashens must have been having an off day cos it didn't seem to be that big a deal.

@LckeStudios 11 жыл бұрын

I live in Great Britain v13.3.7-B and I'm typing this with my inner thought processes at the speed of 2.5 trillion Lovecraftian novels a second. Whilst eating taffy. Made of unicorn poo.