Understanding Manipulation Tactics Part Two

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Understanding Manipulation Tactics Part Two

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Күн бұрын

Dr. George Simon, author of the international bestseller "In Sheep's Clothing," "Character Disturbance," and "The Judas Syndrome" and recognized expert on manipulators and other problem characters discusses why people who've sought help through counseling often don't get the support they need. Traditional approaches miss the mark. Recognizing a disturbed character's behaviors and tactics for what they really are is a prerequisite for making real changes. To do this, a radical new perspective is necessary. Learn more about Dr. Simon and find more of his writings at www.manipulative-people.com and www.drgeorgesimon.com.

Пікірлер: 209

@amelian9677 6 жыл бұрын

I’m grateful these resources exist. The whole “awww, look at that poor, sad, emotionally tortured abuser; deep down they’re really suffering too” crock of shit is so toxic, invalidating, and dangerous for their victims.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

You have to understand the unyielding mindset of the aggressive character. "No" is simply not an option for them.

@juliesunnydaze 3 жыл бұрын

George Simon you find out who you are and who others are when you say ‘No’.

@sandyw1891 2 жыл бұрын

@@juliesunnydaze Exactly - tell them "no" and buckle up! Either they rage at you or they go behind your back and rip you to shreds.

@juliesunnydaze 2 жыл бұрын

@@sandyw1891 yes that is what their relational dynamic is. These personalities cannot handle "No".

@mmmzmz 11 жыл бұрын

Dr. Simon, I can't thank you enough. Through my lifetime I read (literary) hundreds psychology books, everything from Freud to self-help notebooks from grocery stores; but somehow not much really changed. Actually, my life was hell until I found "Sheep". To people like me--scapegoats, neurotics--you didn't just give a tool to survive and manage life but you gave us our dignity. These mornings, I wake up happy and relax, first time in my life, thanks to you. As I said, I can't thank you enough.

@brickerville 5 жыл бұрын

I've been a clinical psychologist for 26 years, and for many years had worked in settings that had a high rate of sociopaths (alternatives to prison, drug rehabs, etc.). At first my approach to sociopathy was the classic clinical kind (like he describes) and it took me a few years to realize that the classic approach was actually reinforcing the problem. This guy really describes well the reality of the situation, which is that the anti-social manipulative bx of the sociopath is instrumental and NOT a defense. The idea that they (psychopaths and sociopaths) bx poorly b/c of low self-esteem is completely erroneous, and trying to treat them by "raising" their self-esteem is doing nothing but adding fuel to the fire... Dr Simon is right on, and some recent research backs this up...

@CusterFlux 10 жыл бұрын

The real tragedy is sooooo many therapists need to be told this stuff.

@melindasimon3027 5 жыл бұрын

The tragedy is the therapist needs therapy 🤔😕🙁

@incognitonegress3453 5 жыл бұрын

@@melindasimon3027 they r ALL crazy

@meta1gear4 4 жыл бұрын

Psychologists too. My own ex-friend gaslighted me for months. How ever the hell she got her degree I will never know.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

Both "In Sheep's Clothing" and its successor "Character Disturbance" should help you come to a whole new understanding about such folks and how to deal with them from a much more empowered perspective. All the best to you!

@gwendolynwehage6336 9 жыл бұрын

As a child raised with narcissits, I remember crying and being upset that my parents fought a lot, they would turn on me for crying, as though I didn something wrong, when they were the ones who caused my pain. I was only about six or seven when this would happen. I was even called a brat for crying when there was a fight.

@viviannamontenegro9071 6 жыл бұрын

Gwendolyn Wehage I’m sorry

@dailybls 5 жыл бұрын

They were the real brats. Such a young age to be treated so unfairly and to be aware of it.

@NerisaFinau 5 жыл бұрын

Ah that package - thank you! Hoping beyond hope - love it and denial together (y) Grief and anguish they love to dish and then They go quiet busy planning their next move while you are cleaning up their last drama with others feigning innocence and ignorance is their middle name - sick tactics then the rage on you for their lack of responsibility and blame shift where you are left like a stunned mullet. Before you have a chance to recover the next 10 dramas are in your face! Sickos!

@kawstar78 5 жыл бұрын

Bless you not your fault at all.

@joec1212 5 жыл бұрын

Well hopefully you grew up with empathy and didn't pass on their foolishness. Sorry you had to deal with that!

@pecan11 9 жыл бұрын

Again, he is SO RIGHT!!! subtly divert your attention in order to keep your attention OFF the real culprit, who is right in front of you!!! HE is so right about "change" and admitting the truth. This guy has it!! As a therapist, i see EXACTLY the same thing. Too much fear on the clinician's part about NOT confronting or challenging is RAMPANT. Its a waste of time and effort and you end up ENABLING the client to remain in the same state and they end up believing they are EVEN MORE RIGHT!!!!

@truthlight4667 11 жыл бұрын

Receiving validation after 13 yrs of ambient, emotional and eventually physical abuse was relieving and heart wrenching at the same time; thank You Dr. Simon.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

So many of your comments are spot on! But I must add, it's not so much they don't know how the world works. They know. They know all too well how most of us think and what we expect. But they set themselves above it and have disdain for it. That's one very good reason to have the law to protect us (at least as best as it can).

@mzmle363 6 жыл бұрын

I so appreciate your understanding and clarity in this subject matter. .. but is it known why these people choose this path? It seems so evil.

@raymeester7883 4 жыл бұрын

What if there no laws or the country is corrupt?

@mamalovesthebeach437 9 жыл бұрын

EVERY therapist needs to hear this! Every week for months I was court ordered to sit with a therapist deemed an "expert divorce mediator/therapist". He had absolutely no understanding whatsoever about abuse despite working in the field for 30+ years. I lived my entire first 50 years of life with my abuse barometer set point far, far too high . . . thank you so much for this talk. I will pass this on to my teenage son.

@mamalovesthebeach437 9 жыл бұрын

Joey Zanne Thank you, I have watched the entire series . . . GREAT information!

@sandyw1891 2 жыл бұрын

The Court system has NO CLUE what this stuff is so who they deem "experts" are just as clueless as they are. Horrible and VERY damaging.

@cleovintora59 7 жыл бұрын

Right on!! all the people that I have encountered that were manipulators played victim

@belovedchild9812 6 жыл бұрын

I read In Sheep's Clothing last week and now I am reading Character Disturbance. Both of these books (especially the latter) are helping me come to grips with my wife's behavior over the past 12 years of being together. She duped me until a few months ago when she went through a very stressful event and her covert behavior became much more overt (She is extremely covertly aggressive). She started showing open contempt for me. She also started to openly insult me then exhibited satisfaction or glee over the insult. In the past, I suspected her responsibility avoiding behaviors and scapegoating behaviors were intentional, but I kept trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Now I see that the behavior is absolutely intentional and she has been manipulating me all along. It's very sad, but at least I understand it now, and I will never let it happen to me again. We separated 2 months ago, and I feel so much better now that I am away from her. I will add that we spent 2 years in traditional psychotherapy with very little progress. When I finally came to my senses, I confronted both my wife and the therapist in session. The therapist refused to acknowledge my reality and told us that my wife had trauma that she needed to work through. I pressed harder in the same session and told them both I felt my wife was doing these behaviors on purpose. The therapist responded by basically asking us not to come back.

@camdenmcinnis7478 10 жыл бұрын

I had an old childhood friend who was a monster, I am grateful I had my experience dealing with his manipulative behavior. Now I study Sociopaths, the art of seduction and famous manipulators & sociopaths. - I never thought I would be grateful for those tough lessons, having these types of people in your life for a short period of time has lifted the veil from over my eyes. I now see the games people play.

@francesbernard2445 3 жыл бұрын

I am grateful for still being able to learn from my experiences too.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the comments, for sharing your experience, and for raising some important points.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

Like everyone, narcissists can learn. But taking new learning to heart, internalizing lessons, and making meaningful changes requires proper motivation.

@marier.245 3 жыл бұрын

Finally !!! A therapist who knows what the heck is actually going on! Thank you!

@elletuppen4844 4 жыл бұрын

What a revelation to understand the difference between the two denials. Thank you Dr Simon🙏🏽

@lorienicholas6490 8 жыл бұрын

wow, this is so enlightening. I can't even begin to count how many times this ploy has been used on me to get me to doubt clear, hard evidence coupled with repeated offenses of the exact same nature.

@marih607 8 жыл бұрын

Excellent comprehensive explaination of the differnece between denial and lying. Thank You!

@dylanesque66 7 жыл бұрын

I can't tell you how much George Simon has helped me in my life

@mcl1313 9 жыл бұрын

The worst thing is to realize after the fact that the person was manipulating you. The damage is done, and there is nothing you can do about it now since you are no longer with that a**hole. It's good knowing that this person is no longer part of your life and will no longer be messing with your head and emotions.... but the thought and remembering everything they put you through is so painful... the fact that back then, while it was happening (even though you knew something was not right and the way he was acting was messed up) you didn't know his true intentions and the fact that they were using you, controlling you, manipulating you. It hurts so much. And the ones who have not gone through it have no idea of the pain.

@MsGroovalicious 10 жыл бұрын

Bravo!! Please make more videos!! I read "Sheep's Clothing" and was truly enlightened. My AA was in Mental Health and was deeply suspicious that many disorders are conscious in nature. I was raised by Narcissists [clinical level] and am triggered by covert aggressive's and can spot them a mile away. My deep frustrations lie in the fact that those who don't know about them believe that I am the one who is delusional or paranoid. In this case there is a wolf. I have one in my study group which is assigned to me for the duration of my studies {14 mos.]. God help me not behave in any way that will cause me to do something very wrong. These people attempt to bring you to wrath. Thank you sir.

@jenniferchen7877 9 жыл бұрын

hey. I can understand your frustration with being the only one that understands, because I experience that myself. my advice is just to keep quiet when around those people. if they don't want to hear the truth, then don't waste it on them.

@MsGroovalicious 9 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your input. Things are better; I've moved on. She tried to ask me to give her the option of discussing the groups issues after I'd arranged to be placed into another cohort, but I smelled her tricks and opted to let her know that I didn't see any hope of change as I'd already been clearly attempting to communicate. God be praised. Thanks for your work.

@bahaitka 7 жыл бұрын

Jennifer Chen the same here. When I start asking myself why people are so thick, I try to remember that I too was fooled three times in my life by narcissists: first sister in law, then a parter and now housemates...every time they send me on a guilt trip for my appropriate and fair responses to their aggression and each time I go trough doubt, guilt and regret until I'm completely free from their company. They support the claim that hell is other people...

@bahaitka 7 жыл бұрын

By aggression I mean of course the attacks on the psyche, i.e. the lies, half-truths, distortions of reality, manipulation, the subtle and less subtle degrading comments, etc

@yahwehsgirl4084 6 жыл бұрын

MsGroovalicious I feel you . My mom was seriously Maniac depressive better known as Bipolar of which i believe as these Character disturbed people are. Like you i can spot them a mile away. Unfortunately these familiar spirits keep getting attracted to me .My ex husband who is now in jail for killing a woman. Then my daughter i had with him is one but, Yahuweh has his hand on her thank God, and my son is one. I used to tell my son you gotta fight son not to be like that. He got it from my mother. My son doesnt come around me because he knows i know the deal. The Lord is good He has told me to speak in my heavenly language and that spirit will someday leave him. Anyway they all have wild eyes. There is no soul there. I spotted in my son when he was born. Soul less. When i was pregnant with my daughter by my crazy ex i had a miraculus spiritual conversion to Jesus Christ. I thought for yesrs that it was just for me ,but Yahuweh changed that childs DNA in my womb while i was pregnant all the while converting me to His beloved son . Iam eternally grateful. Both of them are very sucessful my kids. They have big beautiful homes as most pschopaths are pretty sucessful. The unsucessful ones land in jail. Anyways ive had the misfortune of having several co workers and bosses with this same traits and now i know that they are always fighting you. This what they do. And they want to control you . Especially your thoughts. . They want you to think on days without end how they just manipulated you, keep you in constant defensive mode. and above all they want a confrontation. Dont give em that one. Say what you gotta say in love and move on. But document everything.These people will pull fire alarms just to get the control adrenine going ive the fire dept come out and they love it They are truly ill. As a matter of fact Psychopaths is how mental health was the first started , it was the first detected of mental health illnesses. Anyway dont confront and dont fight, they know what theyre doing and just like Satan they do not stop havent forgot about you, and never take a day off. Theyre trapped inside mental darkness remember they have no soul. They need yours .Ive seen these people leave a long trial of shellless bodies. They are like vampires the bible speaks about whose teeth are like fangs. Vampires love blood, but there is one blood that theyre replulsed by and thats the blood of Yahushua. if you have to go around these people plead the blood of Yahushua over yourself with all the power of the Holyspirit and watch how they react. They are repulsed by it , and wont be able to come near you. Thank God .Thats not to say they wont look for more opportune times but keep applying the blood because their arms are too short to keep boxing with God bless all who read this post. And thank God for the brilliant Dr George Simon. His work will surely last into eternity. Im grateful

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

Skilled manipulators will use whatever tools and aptitudes they have to sway others. And it would definitely be a concern, especially if it weren't acknowledged upfront as an agreed upon technique for fostering positive changes, say, for instance, as in a therapeutic context.

@notbrendon 10 жыл бұрын

This man deserves more credit for his sense of humor. Just an all-around great video

@francesbernard2445 3 жыл бұрын

Some things are very hard to have only a sense of humor about. So why bother trying to have a sense of humor during times like that while they are happening? There will be plenty of time to do so later starting at say an Irish wake. Unless of course there might be some people watching who always refuse to have a genuine sense of humor about anything including how small children have the ability to appear like they are in denial all the time when often they are not at all.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

A spectrum of character disturbance, with slight to moderate character deficiencies and impairments on one end to serious "disorders" of personality and character on the other end. The spectrum includes many character types, including narcissists and psychopaths. All of this is outlined in the book "Character Disturbance."

@auramyna3099 6 жыл бұрын

I agree, I see externalising as a concrete red flag. If someone's mentality is that "everything is someone else's fault" or "everything's my fault but I have no control over fixing that", then by default you're going to be their projection screen.

@wordivore 9 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad you recorded these videos. I just got a Christmas card from my mother with a note in it I thought was manipulating but despite the trigger I wasn't sure. After all I was groomed a lifetime to accept her bullshit. This video and the part one of this of one, helped me to understand better that it was indeed manipulation. I thought she was before but couldn't explain how. Your explanations will help me accept that my mother is an emotional manipulator. I think I'll use the gift card she sent me in that same card to buy your books. Thanks.

@christinehaigh9807 7 жыл бұрын

I can't believe that we have to accept their abuse and bullshit tactics. It's just so wrong! And if you call them out on their bullshit they deny it all. Nice, eh!

@oliveolson7021 5 жыл бұрын

Christine Haigh Yip, I hear ya!!

@thirdeye9106 6 жыл бұрын

Well, thank you ; you certainly nailed it for me with the description "character disturbed individuals". That's it! I needed to hear that said in those words. ty again and again!

@hardrok312 5 жыл бұрын

Way to go Dr George Simon. Great video. I love how you used the The Word as as a reference also.

@love83forever 11 жыл бұрын

They make you feel dilutional, and they usuaally have others who will side with them too.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

Everything about my "hypothesis," amply reflected in all my writings, regarding aggression, assertion, and disciplined, purposeful willfulness is completely in line with what you're saying here. My work picks no fights with strong wills, per se. If you look closely at what I'm really saying, you'd find it to be true that the unscrupulous will to power for its own sake and unprincipled, unprincipled, and destructive (as opposed to constructive) aggression are always toxic.

@ElvinJones1981 10 жыл бұрын

Thank you, I had up until now harbored the notion that an abusive member of my family may just be recreating reality in her mind or exhibiting some kind of denial pattern. Generally the better 95% of my judgment assumed she was just lying. Yet the bizarreness of the lies made me think maybe there was some kind of complex psychology behind them. This video has helped me to discard such rubbish. She is not insane. Rather, she will say what she has to because it is a war game to her. "All is fair in love and war" they say. But when verbal warfare is the M.O. for achieving one's desired outcome, it is clearly not fair; namely because her rules of engagement are not the same for the non-socially-ass-backwards types. So a good step for me is calling a spade a spade. She is not in 'denial' she is lying. End of story.

@sallyleads7037 5 жыл бұрын

Wow you have been there. It is hard to not think that the person is genuine, especially when you love them within a family unit, not speaking marital partners here. It hurts, but when you do not react, sit back and say nothing, you watch the triangulation forming of others around. You want to help them, they need to learn the lesson direct, ten you cant be blamed again! sad but true. The games people play, it is best to stay away. Goo luck

@TBellaDotka 6 жыл бұрын

I knew this wasn't good partner for me, from day one, but I wanted to be loved and belong somewhere so badly. ...

@hannahwang1818 4 жыл бұрын

Dear Bella, I hope you are okay. It really gets tough with loneliness and needing love and belonging. Everyone needs it! But some sources are just not it, and will be destructive. I hope you are well and happy. There us fullness of Joy in the lord

@SenaTheOne 7 жыл бұрын

Dr Simon, you have no idea how this is so helpful for us who are living or working with these sort of human being. I am watching every single video, would be appreciated if you can give us more how to protect ourselves with setting up the boundaries and limits and how to enforce them in the safest possible way for both sides

@renico123 4 жыл бұрын

O my lord, therapists that are waiting for people to come out of denial???? This is a typical example of people who think that they know it all because they read some books in school. To be a really understanding and good therapist much more is needed. Its called intuition and sharp observation and MOST of all: INDEPENDANT THINKING, no matter what dogma has been preaching for centuries! People who are asleep you can wake up, but people who PRETEND to be asleep you will never able to wake up, greetings R form the Netherlands

@darlingtonboobam4107 8 жыл бұрын

blaming.... shaming... and name calling.... playing the victim.. Denial... what it is.. and what it isn't..... awesome thanks for the video..

@francesbernard2445 3 жыл бұрын

Weird about how it works. Expecting someone to play the victim as a scapegoat or being in denial about how long you have to live while being scapegoated.

@MustardSeedish 10 жыл бұрын

Yes! This is so true. My husband used this tactic and would often change history. It would really distorted my reality for years. Once I became aware of this form of intentional emotional abuse I told him that I knew what he was doing and to stop it. He stopped.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

You're more than welcome. And thanks so much for the kind words.

@lolkajo123 9 жыл бұрын

your voice is very soothing.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

You're very welcome. I'm glad you found validation in my work.

@carolashlee8002 5 жыл бұрын

I have read so much on narcissists after leaving a very abusive relationship. I have just stumbled on your you tube and you make so much sense. In my current relationship I was having an issue with his porn activity, we both went to a couples councillor and had an agreement about what he will do stop it. I discovered he was still doing it and this is what I experienced. Shock, horror, how did that get there ?not me I swear. I was dumb founded and said do you really take me for a fool ?

@RegisteredNurse926 4 жыл бұрын

Your red shirt is appropriate as well as the issues of aggression being the highlighted issue of your talks through the modality of manipulation. Red symbolizes the root chakra and survival instincts. Well done, good sir.

@j.p.200 4 жыл бұрын

Very informative, thank you.

@eprofengr6670 7 жыл бұрын

I really love the book, "In Sheep's Clothing", by Dr. George Simon. ----- Good clarification on different types of denial in this video. On a related complex situation of likely, or suspected manipulation, and complex deception from someone who is actually a mental health professional, there are some concerns and important questions. So, these questions are in this context. Has anyone come across a psychologist or psychiatrist that they highly suspect they are a sociopath? If so, what were some traits and actions that you noticed? I have met one, which I only realized later that he was likely a sociopath, but even at first I had an uneasy feeling about him, and how he seemed to encourage a dialogue of vanity, in which he was vain and seemed to expect me to talk in a vain way. Also, based on his horrible actual work of his profession as a psychologist, he appeared that he may really enjoy fooling either other people, or even himself to respect him as a psychologist, even though he really is not, which was made clear by his avoidance of using specifics, and not following ethical codes of conduct for psychologists. Later, he was also putting down other doctors and mental health professionals, even though one in particular is much more credentialed than him. Anyway, if you have come across anyone who actually works as a mental health professional, but may actually be a sociopath, please share your observations. ----- P.S. : One of the better books on the subject is The Sociopath Next Door, www.amazon.com/Sociopath-Next-Door-Martha-Stout/dp/0767915828 ; and in that book the author gives some good practical advice and considerable caution. One advice she gives is "Question Authority!". I do not necessarily agree with everything in the book, but overall it is very good and helps drive further analysis in a subject often overlooked.

@c.t.8856 Жыл бұрын

I wish my former martial therapist would have been a student of Dr. Simon. He ended up traumatizing me when he believed my abusive husband's interwoven tactics. Thank you Dr. Simon for helping me have clarity about my experience.

@abby495 11 жыл бұрын

Yeah.Been suffering from these odious people for almost a year.One is borderline, other is narcissist.I see how they take advantage people.Therapy focuses on changing my part in it which is giving them time of day or giving attention even looking at them.I've learned so much about these creeps.I've realized to that I don't care if they live or die.One of them has excessive disruptive talking.With more assertiveness I will learn to manage better.Thanks for being here and posing about the topic: )

@x0xpamx0x 5 жыл бұрын

Denial is the #1 culprit for many, including myself!! 😢

@moniquevamado 8 жыл бұрын

Such a great in depth explanation of the way these people operate.

@SuperCelliott 7 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video. I'm going through this with my mother. Setting boundaries is one of the hardest things I've had to do

@vanesaradayoung7099 Жыл бұрын

This is why no contact has saved my mental health

@armanb6065 3 жыл бұрын

You are a Genius Dr George Simon. Thank you for your work and helping people by protecting. the truth.

@kerryry3791 4 жыл бұрын

I feel like i am in this agony. Denying myself of the pain people put me through and having to watch them and see their ugly bullying to me.

@Ebvardh 10 жыл бұрын

It's weird. I always knew my parents were very manipulative with me, but I never had words for it. I can see my own manipulative behavior.

@Corbyloc 5 жыл бұрын

I just burst out laughing. I was “done...game over” for thirty years. I believed he lied because he cared about me....he didn’t want to upset me with the truth. Where were you when I needed you?

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

A deal is in the works, but not yet finalized. Keep checking with Audible. It might be later this spring.

@StLennyBruce 10 жыл бұрын

I'm on the edge of my seat here and the video cuts out at 3:37 for about thirteen seconds. Very curious

@menow1650 5 жыл бұрын

i love this guy. So true, it doesn't even matter why they do what they do and they are not in my life for me to change them ; they are there for me to change me to my healthiest , happiest life.

@jlwdm 9 жыл бұрын

my life changed when my ex-wife moved on, she went looking for others that ate it all up, she was always the victim, the great majority of therapist don't know they are used by these people, judges are easily fall victim, I know because I lived it, people that manipulate don't value relationships, people are made to be used.

@nanettewatkins7310 6 жыл бұрын

Finally! Finally! Finally! Life changing! I feel as though I just may survive and thrive! Married to a very clever husband for decades now. It all makes sense-finally!

@starmckel8671 10 жыл бұрын

It's really frustrating, not being able to purchase your book(s) w/o detection. But thank you for your videos! They are invaluable in my current situation.

@cloversands 11 жыл бұрын

My mother-in-law always does this! Always makes excuses and blames others for her bad behavior.....she NEVER takes blame for anything.

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much. I will add you to the list. And so sorry about the late reply.

@chrystalmcatee6224 5 жыл бұрын

I'm afraid my dad is being manipulated by his boss on the promise that they(dad and 5 others)will own a million dollar business once it's up and running. The problem is it's been 3yrs and still not one paycheck, not 1 dollar have they gotten. The boss gets them all excited and says the checks are here this time or on their way but it never happens then they just go on like nothing and keep working. This broken promise happens every 2 months or whenever they get upset enough that the boss moves things around again like something is gonna happen and gets everyone all excited but it always falls through. He even had papers that said the amount they will get this time but they got nothing. I'm afraid My dad(&the 5 others) are being manipulated lied to and I'm afraid brainwashed because he just keeps working and never getting paid under the guise that when they do its gonna be millions. It dosnt even make sense and it makes me sick. We dont hv much money and dads 72yrs old. Hes spent his life savings to get him through and he lives on SS only & he cant work much longer and I cant hire a private detective. I dont know what to do cause I've tried to point it out and its caused an argument.

@EscapeFromCrazytown 5 жыл бұрын

I wonder if your dad won't give up on this venture because of the fear of leaving the group and missing out if the windfall comes. He might think he could be the only one to miss the reward if he leaves while the others stay. This seemed to be how Bernie Madoff was able to steal from so many willing people. They thought they were missing out if they didn't "invest" with him. So many lost everything. Turned out that the ones who walked away saved themselves. Maybe you don't have to hire a detective. Just start Googling as much info as you can about this guy and the business.

@mzmle363 6 жыл бұрын

Powerful. Insightful. Truth.

@christinehaigh9807 7 жыл бұрын

We all know that they're aware of their wrong-doing but they act like they don't know what we're (the abused) talking about, they just glare at us!

@MT-tx7bu 4 жыл бұрын

This is a scene from my life. I bought your book, "A Wolf...." I have a sibling who is a master manipulator and extremely aggressive. The excuses, yes! Always an excuse to why they were acting horribly and then, the denial. It's exhausting. Why do they want to fight? Whats the reward in that?

@92359hg 10 жыл бұрын

Wow thank you so much ... I think you just helped me to help myself !!!!!!! Refreshing perspective thank you for the new view!!!!!

@karenbonnici6204 6 жыл бұрын

So when my husband says, I never said that, or if he attacked me verbally, and denies it, always saying that I am too sensitive, maybe I'm not crazy?

@heathercarpenter6706 5 жыл бұрын

A really good example of this behavior is blaming the other woman or man involved with your partner

@aloysiusdevanderabercrombi470 Жыл бұрын

Yep

@gashingantaheant9263 8 жыл бұрын

you're brilliant.

@hksabek7035 7 жыл бұрын

dr simon you are one of the best ...... thank you

@Flitalidapouet 6 жыл бұрын

You are amazing, its incredible that after 40 years of these discoveries, traditional therapie is still working with Freud and Young paradigms.

@carrad123456 5 жыл бұрын

Beautiful explanation on denial

@ileniab.s.2318 6 жыл бұрын

Brilliant explanation! Thanks...

@nelcentric 6 жыл бұрын

How does someone Change Their behavior, When its was Their Intention To be Tactical, Or War Like From The Beginning? I could Never Address this, or any subject matter, and expect any results. Except A Blame Game Argument. It also seems to be a lot of Work. Is High Blood Pressure connected with this Type Of Behavior? Will they hold on to their beliefs Till they Heart Attack?

@SummersOath 11 жыл бұрын

Hi Dr. George! Your information answered my prayers and validated me and much more! Thank you very much for sharing your research. I haven't even read the book yet, but I plan to in February 2013. Please add me on your seminar list, I am telling every friend I know about you and your information!

@lisasays6174 10 жыл бұрын

Interesting thoughts; I'm curious what you'd think about a hypothetical situation involving scapegoating and if I've misunderstood what scapegoating is. Person A is a manipulator and Person B is manipulated; person B blames them self, and is under the misinterpretation that her defense is actually an offense and that this offense causes person A to defend rather than the way offense and defense are described in part 1. Now, because she doesn't recognize the initial offense and can't see the manipulation, she isn't sure what has caused her to react. It's clear to her, however, that person A is involved. She may suggest if person A hadn't done xyz, she wouldn't have reacted. Does that make her a blamer? Video 1 seems to confirm her, but video 2 seems to make her the manipulator.

@auramyna3099 6 жыл бұрын

Lisa Says IMHO, if Person A is making a subtle action that nobody else can detect and then claiming " :o OMG why are you starting crap?/overreacting/You got all emotional and crazy over something you imagined!/You're implying all kinds of terrible things about me!/Forget your point, let's talk about the way you reacted and how it made me feel!" then person A is consciously manipulating and Person B will probably over time become more disorientated, fall into victim role, lose enough sense of self and reality to be able to exit the situation and by default use complementary but futile emotional maneuvers to get themselves heard. Technically, "I wouldn't have reacted if you hadn't done X" is counterproductive and not owning one's own choices. Technically, nobody can make us feel a certain way, and it's kinda irrelevant who made the first offense because person A might've been reacting to preconceptions based on something person B did, and vice versa back into the beginnings of history. It's relevant that person B brings up a topic and person A immediately derails it to their topic. Once you get to the point of realising Person A is baiting Person B in plausibly deniable ways, in order to shame their reaction (and prove to others that Person B is insane), then it becomes clear Person B shouldn't try to reason with Person A any more as it there's nothing productive that can be gained by pointing out to a deliberate manipulator that they're deliberately manipulating. In that case, Person B is having the conversation out of a sense of being wronged and wanting the other guy to feel bad. On the other hand, it's also possible that Person B's belief that Person A has done something wrong is based on misinterpretation or what they believe they're entitled to.

@anubischick 6 жыл бұрын

Apparently when they talk to folks in a coma the person DOES hear. So she is not in denial. The people telling her "they cant hear you, they cant feel you") are

@georgeksimon 11 жыл бұрын

BTW, on of the chapters in my first book specifically mentions the benefits of tenacious patients who "fight" hard to survive their ordeals.

@Tager253 Жыл бұрын

you sir are genius, brilliantly stated

@DeanRendar 4 жыл бұрын

Jordan Peterson recommended catching them 3 times on that lie and present it again as proof they know they are attempting to manipulate out of you and therefore they absolutely cannot and will not be trusted for their deceptions. With my experience with too many social acquaintance types, just 1 instance done for petty or shamelessly self serving instance is all i need to suffer through to realize, this person tries way better in other circles, they must truly overestimate my capacity to be oblivious to swindlers with a charming facade, no thanks, forever.

@johnlutz6854 10 жыл бұрын

Please show more examples. I have a difficult time understanding some of the concepts. Thanks I like your work.John Lutz

@sararichardson737 4 жыл бұрын

Re-visit. I too had difficulty hearing /understanding/seeing the concepts but 3rd time around, a couple of years later I understand clearly

@AnnaMishel 11 жыл бұрын

Hi Dr. Simon, Are you planning on converting "Character Disturbance to audible version. I have been listening to "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing", and every time I listen, I get more out of it. Hope you convert "Character Disturbance" also.

@zbyszeks3657 Жыл бұрын

Interesting and valuable. Thanks

@francesbernard2445 3 жыл бұрын

In 1974 when my grandparents were going through the death of the head of the family, my biological grandfather at age 69 or so who was born in Germany before moving here before the 1930's with only conversational English skills, after it was discovered too late that he had a slow growing tumor in his brain that was at that time inoperable; while in hospital he was caught once saying the rosary just before he shoved it back under his pillow. As the tumor kept on growing he could no longer talk quite as well. Because he was born in Germany and maybe because the German language was his first language he learned as a boy when on his death bed when I went to visit him was speaking in a language I could not understand my grandmother had to translate for him when he was trying to speak to me. My grandmother had a diploma granting her the right to be an interpreter for Germans and English speakers here. When he died soon after, when the results of the autopsy came back the person who did it said to my grandmother that he noted that my grandfather's body except for his brain at point of death was just as fit as any man in his 40's maybe because he had worked as a farmer all his life until death. Times sure have changed. Denial for sure plagues all of us. Being in denial is not easy for any of us. However there is something else to consider besides being in denial about the ability to recover losses fully after a major set back almost all of the time. For example why and what would father Robert Spitzer have to gain, like avoiding his emotional pain for awhile, when he is often regarding a lot of people in their hospital beds in much the same way as the old woman in George Simon's example was when speaking to a dying person with far less functioning brain activity than they had before?

@aloysiusdevanderabercrombi470 Жыл бұрын

What?

@xrisku 8 жыл бұрын

Wish this guy has been my marriage counselor instead of the woman we went to, who heaped the entire failed marriage on me - I'm not saying I'm perfect, but he's the NPD or I'd argue ASPD. I'm the CPTSD'd codependent who is now emotionally and physically exhausted after 2 decades of emotional and financial abuse. I am so HAPPY I am out of denial. It's been extremely painful, but it's better than keeping those rose tinted glasses on my nose.

@Wazuhuzu 8 жыл бұрын

Good for you :) Hope you'r doing better!

@angelafalsetta4309 6 жыл бұрын

Okay, I have both of these videos...One and two. Great informative break through. I wonder if I may find more from this fantastic writer particularly Narc Family Dynamics/Unit! TYSM!! that denial seems a form of gaslighting!

@eaumartineau7890 5 жыл бұрын

Reminds me of the Freudian, a cigar is just a cigar. So in other words there's a big distinction between a liar and denial. And on that same line of thought would it be appropriate for a therapist to go behind the liar and why is he or she a liar? Doesn't it go a little deeper than that?

@ter8413 8 жыл бұрын

what u say is true however faith can be seen as denial I was told I would never get out of bed yet I go to classes now my health is still bad but I'm walking and still here some cancer patients same thing...

@MartaWyngaard 4 жыл бұрын

Yes, SIR!

@TheElegantZoe 7 жыл бұрын

Dr. Please help me, I have escaped an ENTIRE family who went so far as to use my own child against me to scapegoat and try to make me look crazy. What do I do now? I have the same symptoms as PTSD I need advise and therapists only re-traumatise me!

@amelian9677 6 жыл бұрын

Zoe M I know this comment is a year old now, but I’m sorry for your situation and I hope things have worked out for you. I know how the re-traumatizing sucks.

@cmsbeth 5 жыл бұрын

Your child was probably a victim of Parental Alienation Syndrome. Narcissists are exceptionally good at manipulation of their children (your children).

@sallyleads7037 5 жыл бұрын

Zoe M when you evolve and uncover the truth it hurts. Then you look mad as the entire family (that are all your inner programming and conditioned response from childhood), alienate you. This is a very lonely place to be in, police, social workers and child caring professionals do not get this cohesive control stuff. I do think they will in the future thank goodness. I can only suggest seeking out help for yourself and children, do not give your family any of your energy at all, they have taken enough already. Good luck to you.

@0bserver8-2-7 7 жыл бұрын

⭐️Excellent ⭐️ Thank you!

@hygqueensav 4 жыл бұрын

Immensely enlightening!

@melmckenna4599 4 жыл бұрын

You are very helpful!

@freeformb 11 жыл бұрын

George, have you ever experienced cases where manipulators use advanced techniques such as NLP and conversational hypnosis as influence techniques and if you had clear evidence of this would it concern you to a greater degree than simply lying or telling half truths etc?

@sallyleads7037 5 жыл бұрын

Therapists and social workers, police and welfare officers at schools or courts are working in a mine field of character disturbed individuals and they are hoodwinked by these manipulators and do not understand this stuff. I have studied co-dependency and psychosomatic conditions for many years. I was giving up a few years ago, turned to mindfulness and then an event that physically brought me to my knees was when I discovered the truth. Witnessing domestic abuse, uncovered and spoke about to late. I would go on to add that I think suicides are not that either when close family and friends are character disturbed, outwardly wonderful to the rest of the world, are around victims. I leant when I was hoping people were mentally unwell, giving them the benefit of doubt as I love them, the hurt hurt and denial or distraction I was kindly thinking, but denial is not a factor with these individuals. A DA unit running a self help course I attended, said to select a vulnerable person from many, to ruin items belonging to that person, in anger destroy your stuff, never their own, to make that vulnerable person look bad they project a brilliant story-albeit only to a few, who repeat and judge, it is a planned and on purpose, not an illness of the mind that can be fixed unfortunately. Love them but had to let go...…..however, in public I have cut them off at a sad time, or I have cut them off as I'm ruthless, whatever cap fits their story for that time in question. I love them and send love to them, reeled back in for another round.....nearly then they did something instantly one on one with others not seeing in the background…...no thank you. I have not blocked them or banned them from approaching me, they just dont because I have sussed them. Got the black eye to prove standing for my truth was not an option I had.

@joserogelioledezmaescudero4381 5 жыл бұрын

hello, i love yor book abot manipulators , it's really insighful, and these videos are kinda complementary, where can i find the complete videos?

@theresamurphy6554 3 жыл бұрын

My couple first manipulation episodes I was in denial bad! I didn't wanna believe especially from the ppl it was coming from now I'm a pro at seeing them head on lol & exposing them but that can be very dangerous Bec some well most like to hurt u