Even if it wasn't, it still was. Brilliant.

Review “the one” with Jet Li and Jason Statham

After recently discovering your channel, I now have a new internal monologue for movies and things that piss me off, or in particular when I need to call someone an idiot. Also for when things are awwwwesome!

@@Jesus-jq5zw Why shouldn't someone get some money for work that they do? How do you know this person doesn't already have a job? Wouldn't you like to make a living from your passion? I get that your passion is being a twat, but I hope that brings you joy, even if it doesn't bring you financial security.

@@Jesus-jq5zw Enlighten me.

Oh god Seagal as a Gandalf-like wizard in a robes with some goofy golden thread pattern on it that looks like a 80s chinese dragon jacket and a bunch of totally-not-hobbit "little folk" midget actors (because forced perspective film techniques require too much planning and cost) that follow him around and he's always dropping bon mots of wannabee Tibetan Buddhist wisdom on as he hits ninja turtle orcs with his staff.

@@whatisbestinlife8112 😄

I lost it in a review of one of Seagal's newer "films" he used a stunt double to stand up from a chair. Like it shows seagal talking sitting in a chair from the front, then the camera moves behind him as he stands up and it is clearly not him because the person standing weighs about 50lbs less.

@@whatisbestinlife8112 Phenomenal. This guy gets it. 👏 Fantastic name and profile pic, too.

...and Seagal was sitting while casting some badass magic sh*t.

"But i saw you in the movie. You were..." Then he puts his index finger up to your lips and goes, "Shhh." Then goes back to sipping.

"Look, I got this picture on my phone, right here." "Listen to me you little shithead..."

Better script than the movie

If you were to say the same thing to Uwe himself, he'd try and convince you that his movies are the answer to all of mans problems and he should be given a Nobel Peace Prize and be named ruler of Earth as compensation. From his interviews and public appearances, dude seems like he has his head permanently up his own ass, where he has an Imax sized screen so he can watch his movies on a continuous loop.

LOL, I can TOTALLY see it in my head!

I get not caring but how can anyone *hate* LoTR??

@@CephirDay it's super meh and overrated

@Bzake Yo momma an L opinion boii

@Bzake It's ok son there's still time for you to get diagnosed

@@sp3cialed1 overrated:D it is masterpiece. It is book that literally started fantasy as we know it and till this day nothing compares to it.

He was a trader and traveled to China in early life

Fantasy =/= medieval times

@@N1tr063nFr05trhym3 This "fantasy" takes place in medieval times, dipshit

@@N1tr063nFr05trhym3 fantasy is medieval times plus dragons and magic

@@cisafrulli "medieval flavor" is the maximum I can concede

Ngl, id watch.

Me too

DU U VERE VIGS

😂 😂 😂

I'd watch that.

And it's based off of a video game (loooooosely)

The medieval Europeans did have their own martial arts, you know. We refer to them in the modern day as "HEMA" (Historical European Martial Arts).

​@@voidgodsWhat video game?

@@Username_59009 Dungeon Siege. 1 and 2 are great, one of my favorite ever

@@voidgodswhat game? Lmao 😂

they cant because all plot its not a copy of it.

Made me burt out laughing 😂

Q QA​@@attssir

yep, except they were all has-beens, i dont think anyone of them made a single movie after that.

@@KronStaro How dare you call Jason Statham a has been?? He's very much a still is

​@@KronStaro ah yes, because Statham, Perlman, and Liotta haven't had a dozen movies each since then...🙄

It’s insane. Academy award winners , nominees. Film legends. It’s crazy.

Absolutely insane. It's genuinely a terrible movie too not even just bad directing or writing THEY aren't good in it. What did uwe have on them? At that who gave that man 60 million late in his career of crap.

I give it some out of ten.

Yeah, and he's a simple farmer. :D

How about the terrible plastic surgery on the king? Before they had plastic surgery

How knights fight is also called Martial arts

Not to mention being raised by people wouldn't really know how to fight beyond possibly being in a brawl.

The King and his magical powers should tell you it's a fantasy movie. I don't think historical accuracy should be an issue.

I was half expecting him to start driving his car. He was just the Transporter with a sword.

The only thing he changed in his career was his attempt at an american accent but all it sounds like is an english guy trying to do a bad american accent

Except in the old guy ritchie movies

Hes the british version of the rock

I was waiting for a scene with him driving in an Audi

That was incredible

That wasn't so bad either,i can imagine the huruks using their own as ammo for the catapults. It's just shooting them on the trees that is incredibly stupid

Uwe boll somehow always gets that done. Usually its just one or two named actors that you can put on the posters. Like Udo Kier, Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Meat Loaf, and Ben Kingsley in Bloodrayne, J.K. Simmons in Postal, Don S. Davis, Udo Kier (again), Emanuelle Vaugier and Ralf Möller in Far Cry, and so on. And his non video game based movies do pretty well. He won best international film at the New Yorik International film and video festival with Darfur, Got nominated for a Leo Award for They Wait and got best special effects at the New York City Horror Film Festival for Seed. So he can make decent films if he tries. But this movie has the benefit of a villain where the actor notices how bad the whole thing is, decides to stop giving a damn and just to have fun. Ever seen the D&D movie? Jeremy Irons owns every scene he is on. Or Alan Rickman in Robin Hood. If you cast a good actor as the villain for your shitty movie, be prepared that they notice and just go over the top to make it at least memorable. Or look at the Doom movie (Not by Boll), you got Karl urban and Dwayne Johnson in the leading roles and a soundtrrack by Clint Mansell. That and the FPS scene towards the end make it absolutely worth watching at least once.

it was a tax scam

😂😂

It was so Harry Potterish

@Telleva Uwe Boll gives another meaning to "Bollywood".

Or Steven Seagal playing Forrest Gump.

I was embarrassed watching Ray Liota (RIP) in this movie “terrible scowl” Uggghhh that line. Spot on with your post though.

And this is how I learned Ray Liotta was dead.

Perlman? 😂😂😂 Terrible terrible actor, not to mention offensively ugly and woke to the point of derangement. He's enough to kill any film. Or franchise tbf.

@@Bobby.2000 Hellboy was good

@@SchlaftaterNrzZz hellboy was wank lol

" I have nazi gold." - Uwe Boll.

@@jopalm3649 well played.

Tolkien has no shame

Believe it or not, one of Uwe Boll's crazy fans once tried to convinced that Boll's Dungeon Siege film was a better movie than Peter Jackson's "Lord of the Rings".

@@ElvenRaptor better at sucking definitely

I never understood why he makes movies period.

I would buy the DVDs of all of his movies if they had special features with documentary recordings of his pitch sessions and storyboard ideas. Must be incredibly unhinged and nuts

My understanding is that it's mostly a tax and investor scheme, kind of like the Producers. If Boll ever made an actual hit, he'd be ruined financially.

Well, its not just him, most video game movies has almost nothing to do with the original game, they use some characters and they change them.

@@lisaturtle933 Tax loopholes, he uses government funding to make bad movies and get rich while doing it.

I figured everyone had fun making this garbage. It looked like it. I'm pretty sure uwe is self aware

this explains it all 😄

Yeah, I unfortunately watched the first sequel with Dolph Lundgren. And as bad as this flick is, "Two Worlds" is much, much worse.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

The late Ray Liotta, may he rest in peace, was PERFECT as an Italian gangster. I can't say the same when it comes to him playing a Wizard.

What games?

@@bloodangel19 Dungeon Siege.

😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅Best Comment..

Wtf does that even imply? This movie sobered you up?

😂😂

No dinner or booty guessing.

When you hear Hugh Jackman when he isn't trying to be vaguely canadian Wolverine and he lets out his aussie accent. Or his theater and musical experience. There is something about theater actors that makes makes them a presence in movies. Possibly because they know how to emit emotions with body language and voice because there are no closeups on the stage. Which makes me sad that we will never see a an X-Men musical adaptation with Hugh Jackman, Patrick Steward and Ian McKellen

I had a similar experience with his film far cry. My buddy and me were literally the only two people in the screening room. We had that whole huge hall for ourselves and we had a great time, when we realised the movie was shit we started popcorn fights and such, laughed trough the whole movie. A lot of scenes were just too ridicoulus to be taken seriously. It was such a bizarre experience.

Sounds likw when i saw "Saw 2" in theatre. It was soo dumb i was lmao.

This was the movie that showed me what a hack Uwe Boll was

How does this guy get to make so many movies and even get some famous actors in them ? All of his movies sound absolutely horrifying.

It is just bad.

It's a stinker...but falls short of the dumpster fire that was Battlefield Earth.

That's the feeling i got watching it

And self immolating turtles! The movie had so much potential.

It's bad. My friends and I watched it, there were some moments where we laughed because they were so stupid, but not enough.

U forgetting scream!

@@Wolf-bz6kq You forgot "Hackers"!

@@hashtagunderscore3173 and scl punks

Wing Commander. When you're cursed to be in 2 bad video game movies, fuck.

Okay, Wing Commander isn’t a masterpiece by any stretch but it’s better than any of Boll‘s VG-Flicks.

And leather was a thing in medieval times. Even long before that. It was extremely expensive, much more expensive that fabric-based gear, but if you're basically the king's court wizard you can afford that. And somehow it totally fits into the movie. Not because it's thematically or visually contemporary, but because it is not. The actors bring in all their different accents, the monster costumes are super cheap, we have clearly east asian-inspired martial arts, the whole thing is a hot mess, so the leather jacket fits perfectly into this amalgamation of chaos.

I don't know, but I want to. I looked for an answer on IMDB. Didn't find it, but I did find this: "Kevin Smith and Juliette Lewis were filming Catch and Release (2006) on an adjoining set and came to visit the neighboring production. Burt Reynolds said he saw them steal two boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts. But the rest of the cast didn't mind because they much preferred Dunkin' Donuts." Those 3 sentences are more fascinating and entertaining than the actual movie.

@@Mattastrophic1 What sort of sick degenerate prefers Dunkin???

As well as John Rhyes-Davies, Ron Perlman, Matthew Lilliard and Kristianna Loken.

I am so down

@@SpaceIce If he does invite u to a fight.....Knock him TF out bro!!

@@3rdworldgwaming467 Any time any place

@@SpaceIce just a reminder, Uwe can fight. Can you?

The movie was good.

Scooby Duke.

Thirteen ghost too

😂😂😂

I felt the same way. How could a movie that achieves this not be Oscar worthy? This is the smoking gun on the awards shows being rigged :(

@@johnsebok3555 This was the moment that made me stop and read the comments to find someone else talking about this. The movie has to be a troll, right? Everything up before that could just be a really bad movie concept. But that's just trolling. She literally had no purpose. Why was she there? Why? It's purposefully bad, right?

@@FS4SS maybe she had a role during the film but they literally scratched it lol. Like really bad planning? Its totally possible, everything in that movie looks half planned at best. Like the random leather jacket given to the wizard XD. He has to look both cool and bad, ok lets give him a leather jacket.

​@@FS4SSThey can't show everything she did. Maybe she gave great BJ's or made a mean bowl of chili.

@@FS4SS I think because she was played by kristanna loken. I have a suspicion that Boll had a crush on her.

or they were really hard up for a paycheck. if Boll had managed to get Morgan Freeman in this dumpsterfire, it wouldve been simply cuz Freeman was bored

he managed to get Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen and Meatloaf for Bloodrayne

@@richardhockey8442 That literally makes me nauseous 😫

He has a lot of money. That's how.

The same way he did a crap ton of movies from games IP: German government money. Gets the money every year, gets it done, next!

I'm assuming some kind of blackmail was involved.

The movie being forgettable is probably one if it's biggest strengths. It means it isn't so offensively bad that you keep reminding yourself of how bad it is.

We Need Answers!

Please provide answers!

@@qpeocn Well, this was an ex girlfriend from long ago that did costumes. I recall she mentioned the days of rain we have here in Vancouver created massive mud pits that she had to deal with. It didn't sound like anyone had fun there. Uwe Boll's movies were all made here somehow and for some reason. The best is the boxing match he had with a movie reviewer that crapped on Boll's filmography. Uwe punched him out for real on the set of Postal. It's in the movie.

@@frenchyroastify but somehow he makes alot of cash with those movies...

@@df71091 I heard it had something to do with some German tax loophole and investors. He then proceeded to make his cinematic video game versions in the manner "Springtime for Hitler".

Ever hear of that "Hollywood Curse" where actors die after their worst movie like how Phil Hartman died after Jingle All the Way and Raul Julia died after Street Fighter? Liotta is lucky he survived this one.

Raul knew he was dying, he made it for his kids they loved the game and he just chewed the scenery like a starving dog. He was the best thing in the movie.

@@Mattastrophic1 worst is yet to come lmao

Bah, "so bad he's good" is a much better description. Love this movie and Liotta is one of the best parts.

@@julesmasseffectmusic The best thing by far. if the SF movie has any entertainment value even to this day is because of Raúl. His delivery on the line "For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday" both the line and the delivery are worth of "the godfather part 2" and an Oscar or something, that have no business on being on SF xD. He ended his career with a turd knowingly, just because he wanted to work in something his kids loved before passing away. But instead of tainting his legacy, by the sheer power of his talent and charisma, he polished that turd until it became one of the greatest "so bad it's good" movies of all time. Shooting the SF movie, with a full on coke JCVD on it, and coming on the other side being even a bigger legend, that's class.

i'm not sure it is if you are a serious actor. i don't think i would want to be famous for being in shit movies.

@@skoda10 well those SERIOUS actors might be that but they aren't too smart. You may as well just take the money and then when you have enough you can produce your own super serious earnest movies.

Soulless dribble from a soulless dribbler.

@Greasy Bumpkin Which no-one will watch. Because you're known for Uwe Boll movies. Genius.

@@Ceaseless_Watcher nice cat

Please tell me you've watched them after all this time lol...they are really good definitely a great binge franchise...

@@ThatDorkyReviewShow Hm? I was quoting something SpaceIce said in the video.

Yeah this looks like an awful movie, especially with the director they've chosen. Though I'm confused as to how he sees alot of these events here as pointless.

lol

All a matter of perspective isn't it. Well done

It's a really horribly movie, place don't make yourself watch all of it.

You left out how the Duke is played by Shaggy.

Shitty Directors are dime a dozen now. In fact, all Hollywood has is bad Directors now.

He's ruined so many games, i am glad he's no longer making films.

@@sycorez did he ruin postal?

@@anaveragehumanbeing8511 Probably his best movie (based on a game), and even that is middle of the line. Still doesn't negate what I said. He ruined so many games. I'm glad he's no longer making films.

Nah... they just fixed the loophole that made his movies generate a revenue whenever they bombed at the box office!😆

I saw it in theaters @~@ and it is worse. Oh god.

My favourite is "Postal"

Yeah, I feel like this, Postal and House of the Dead are probably his best video game movies. They aren't stupidly cheap, they have decent acting, they have decent fight scenes. They aren't good movies, but they are enjoyable movies. Don't go into Dungeon Siege expecting Lord of the Rings. But if you take it for a mediocre direct-to-video fantasy flick and don't think about it too much, it can be fun. I genuinely enjoy the Expendables movies, and that are stupid movies. Basically "what if you like 80s action movies and had infinite money" They are pretty much pure fan service and don't require any thinking. But they are incredibly fun to watch.