Ask Nick - He’s Choosing His Family | The Viall Files w/ Nick Viall

Рет қаралды 15,734

Ай бұрын

Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode by responding to our previous Ask Nick’s comments. Then we get to our callers…
Our first caller is wondering if she should tell a coworker about his girlfriend’s affair. Our second caller feels like her boyfriend goes mute around her family. And, our third caller wants to move, but her boyfriend wants to stay close to his family.
“You’re literally talking to a version of your boyfriend right now”
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Пікірлер: 102

@Ryanh1010 Ай бұрын

Caller #2 is exhausting lol when she told Nick he was her first real boyfriend and he was like "Ya i can tell" i almost spat out my drink 🤣

@Infinitewake Ай бұрын

WE MISS TIMESTAMPS

@angelicadeguz820 Ай бұрын

caller 2 is driving me crazy and shes not even my gf. lol. clearly she doesn't want to be with him.

@nk47100 Ай бұрын

The valley girl voice is out of control

@rtidball5650 Ай бұрын

Exactly so bizarre

@Sadiekroll Ай бұрын

I disagree with Nick's "Not All Men" take. Men in general benefit the most from the patriarchy. At the same time, it is also a known that men suffer from patriarchy. Eg: Toxic masculinity. Saying that women should change their mindset and respond in a way that is "within their control" misses the point of the systematic oppression women face under the patriarchy.

@sheerinazhari6930 Ай бұрын

Exactly. Like when were men as a majority willing to listen and discuss with us? Even in this podcast !! Nick is not really listening to Leah... not that he is a bad guy but it just shows when men have an opinion, they do not really listen with the willingness to change their perspectives. I have amazing men in my life who are not "bad people" but time to time they do the same thing as Nick is doing and because of how they have historically been treated, they do not question themselves.

@Sadiekroll Ай бұрын

@@sheerinazhari6930 I agree! I see where Nick is coming from, but I can easily see men choosing to fix this issue rather than blaming women for it. I think men holding other men accountable would go further than anything women could do to fix it.

@Luckygingerslots Ай бұрын

Doesn’t nick want his daughter to be surrounded by good men? That will only happen if men hold each other accountable and right now all I hear is excuses from Nick.

@seven92023 Ай бұрын

Oh please, women are the queens of excuses.

@jadamc Ай бұрын

Nick's take on "not all men" is so undeniably ignorant. Feels like a waste trying to even explain to him because in his mind, he's always right.

@meaghan492 Ай бұрын

Nick needs to listen to Leah and actually LISTEN, not wait until she’s done speaking, so that he can continue on with his “not all men” spiel

@xmorgancx1 Ай бұрын

She was really starting to get into the systemic oppression of women and it went right over his head. I’d hate to be a woman working for him.

@tonibrooks9719 Ай бұрын

@@xmorgancx1 Because Nick has to know everything and be right about everything. He is so annoying.

@bubblebritney Ай бұрын

Caller #2 just feels like she’s trying to find any reason to dislike her boyfriend lol

@acd1168 Ай бұрын

She thinks she can do better which is fine but don’t torture the guy. Don’t string him along

@SaraPratt-kt4xp Ай бұрын

LOL agree!

@Luciekayb Ай бұрын

She doesn’t even like him 😂

@ldpsvede Ай бұрын

Yes! I kept thinking that all she’s doing is complaining about everything about him. Why is she with him? It seemed like she was trying to create big problems and issues from minute things.

@brennakali1996 Ай бұрын

Thank you thank you!!!! Someone had to say it

@Soph2000_ Ай бұрын

Hello, I usually don’t comment on anything but I have been listening to Viall Files for over a year now and in the past couple months I have noticed the quality of ask nick episodes (which are my favorite) decline. Idk if the callers can be screened better but they are coming across as very annoying and are only calling in to get attention or have nick validate their own opinion. Take the 2nd caller in this episode, her problem really just boiled down to she doesn’t like her boyfriend very much and complaining about him. Close to 30 minutes were spent on her and the conversation just went in circles. I feel like where nick used to be able to delve deeper with caller he is not able to do that cause the callers are so surface level. I also miss when Nick had Amanda that offered a contrary opinion to his. I feel like the quality of the ask nicks were better when Nick had Amanda who was able to act as a foil to his opinions and advice. Just food for thought.

@sab72794 Ай бұрын

I have felt like this too! I used to love the ask nick episodes (been a listener for several years). I’d get so excited for Monday mornings and I’d turn on the podcast first thing, now they just frustrate me everytime I listen. There have also been a lot of callers lately where they’re calling about an issue that has nothing to do with them (caller #1 for example or the caller a few weeks ago with the friend who “was having unsafe sex”) and I hate those calls because it’s not actually a real problem to discuss.

@lyndanmendoza 25 күн бұрын

I agree! I was on maternity leave from March to June and I started binge the ask Nick episodes a week or so ago and a lot of the ones I’m noticing it’s not as good as it has and will fast forward a bit because the conversation goes in circles.

@soussoub7704 Ай бұрын

Caller #1 it's basically Gossip . Don't get involved people .Work and go home .

@meaghan492 Ай бұрын

The point Leah is trying to make to Nick in the beginning, about the overarching misogyny that’s baked in to so many layers of society, which he kind of demonstrates in real time by failing to really take Leah’s perspective under serious consideration - is I think the part that continues to elude Nick (in recent West and Ciara takes, etc). That women have to be responsible for the their own fulfillment in their relationships, and their own happiness - and they also have to be held responsible for men’s unhappiness, held responsible for tolerating disrespect, and held responsible when they won’t. It’s frustrating because I think Leah is encouraging a more empathetic view across the board of everyone’s POVs, while Nick seems to insist that women are always more to blame for relationship and societal issues than they want to admit, when I think any reasonable person can see that toxic men constantly blame-shifting their own lack of character onto women who bear the brunt of all emotional labor - is more the actual core problem.

@ameliaazer5846 Ай бұрын

*I hope they read your comment on the next episode. And instead of automatic rebuttal I hope he voices that he will sit with this for a bit.

@rtidball5650 Ай бұрын

I agree with him not all men are the same and they shouldn’t be lumped all together!!! the men I know are amazing maybe you got dealt a bad hand of men from great grandfathers grandpas fathers stepfathers brothers husband guy friends son nephew

@blakeclancy7741 Ай бұрын

I feel really sorry for the boyfriend of caller #2....

@jillianphoenix3270 Ай бұрын

Omg that second caller 😂 she’s looking for any excuse to dislike this guy. Just break up with him!

@bahnaanahmed801 Ай бұрын

Is Nick really boiling down the systematic oppression women have experienced over centuries to their dating patterns??? Lmaoooo the jokes write themselves.

@Urmomlovesyoutube Ай бұрын

No he’s not… he’s just saying two things can be true at the same time.

@sydneybharper Ай бұрын

It’s actually so annoying making this podcast unlistenable.

@princessjenn93 Ай бұрын

I wish Amanda was still on the show to discuss this "disenfranchised men" topic with Nick. Because yes, Leah was trying so hard to articulate her point but Nick can always breeze past this new set of household members...Why does Nick keep referring to young boys as incapable of processing complex social systems? Teenage girls learn directly or indirectly about these topics at 14 or younger. We don't have to make things simpler for men so they feel valued and respected...respect is earned.

@peidan86 Ай бұрын

Because he was butt hurt in the past by his exes. That’s why he thinks he and all men are victims. He’s a cry baby.

@xmorgancx1 Ай бұрын

Nick missing the point yet again. He says “yeah I agree with both statements” and then shows that he clearly does not agree.

@xmorgancx1 Ай бұрын

Also…women are not just facing terrible men they are dating. They’ve been treated like this by fathers, friends, employers, strangers etc.

@SaraPratt-kt4xp Ай бұрын

LOL RIGHT?! Literally again, doubles down lol

@elisemarie105 Ай бұрын

We live in a patriarchy. Women finally fighting against it and making progress makes weak boys feel inferior and wronged, thus hating women more for their own shortcomings

@hilatukurian9717 Ай бұрын

Nick sounding like what-about-isms for young impressionable boys-- same could be said for girls.. except the stakes are beyond hurt feelings that involve physical harm/death at rates similar to grown women ... The stakes aren't the same

@Luciekayb Ай бұрын

That intro was giving “all lives matter”

@katfire4 Ай бұрын

That's exactly what came to mind

@tonibrooks9719 Ай бұрын

OMG Nick! Read the comment section and see how most people never side with your views or opinions. It is you with the jaded mindset.

@lanerzzz123 Ай бұрын

I don’t think you understand the definition of sexism, Nick….

@Infinitewake Ай бұрын

Right I think he was defining stereotypes and generalizations not sexism lol

@Luckygingerslots Ай бұрын

He is proving the point that men are the problem because they don’t hold each other accountable. It’s so annoying.

@ldpsvede Ай бұрын

Caller #2: break up with your boyfriend. You’re just not that into him. Caller #3: break up with your boyfriend. He’s just not that into you.

@marianjones4398 Ай бұрын

this should would be so much better if nick actually knew what he was talking about and could be bothered to read a book

@nafafonafafofo Ай бұрын

Why is Nick asking Lea what the feedback is like? He should be reading these comments himself!

@tessasunshine20 Ай бұрын

Nick is doing his best to alienate his female audience lol

@swtdi40 Ай бұрын

Bad things are currently happening to women everyday! Women would rather face a bear than a man! That isn't a joke. We need a round table

@andreegodbout868 Ай бұрын

First caller. Mind your business. She's not your friend, she's your coworker.

@sab72794 Ай бұрын

At the end of the call when she says she hasn’t really talked to her lately I was shocked lol like why even have this call 😂

@peidan86 Ай бұрын

⁠some people have no life and crave attention

@shelby6144 Ай бұрын

If you don’t want someone like your introverted dad, you shouldn’t be dating that man lol. I’m introverted and I know he’s def introverted. We don’t like small talk, and we do think conversations go well when we only say a few words, laugh here and there and acknowledge what the talkers are saying. We are awkward, not rude because we aren’t talking. I will talk forever to people I’m close with, it’s way harder to create small talk with people when you aren’t passionate about a random subject. He might get sort of comfortable with your family but still won’t talk their ear off. It is what it is, he isn’t being rude he just won’t ever be a talker as an introvert. Also, my job requires me to be friendly and talk with customers and it’s WAY easier to turn it on.

@carlykathy Ай бұрын

First caller at 27 mins

@anastasiagebhardt7311 Ай бұрын

Thank you . I hated all of 0-27 min talk 😅

@laurab5849 Ай бұрын

I’ll save everyone some time. Caller #2. Break up with him.

@laurab5849 Ай бұрын

Caller #3 too

@juliethillbrand4134 Ай бұрын

Caller 2, Just break up with him, you don't like him and he's not your person.

@Hannah-gu5cv Ай бұрын

Caller #2: I have a different view point on what this caller had to say. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years now, and when we first met I was extremely shy and introverted. And my boyfriend is a loud Italian guy who can work a room. Everyone says he could talk to a brick wall. But over the last 8 years I have dramatically became more and more extroverted as time goes on. He completely brought me out of my shell. All to say, that some people can just be a slow burn. Not necessarily always the case but definitely something to consider rather than just being like he never is gonna change

@nikkiblais1124 Ай бұрын

Regarding the conversation about young men at the beginning, I think we’re missing several things here, while I agree that we need to treat young men better you can’t have this argument without acknowledging this stomach power and patriarchal influences of play and that the argument about women potentially doing the same things or needing to be treated the same as men is ignorant without acknowledging those details. Furthermore I think it’s important to acknowledge that women have to handle men like everybody should handle a gun, you don’t know if a gun is loaded just by looking at it, so for safety you assume that they are all loaded, it is the same thing when it comes to men, not all men are awful and dangerous, but we have to assume they all are for our safety.

@michelleriggs2571 Ай бұрын

Caller 1 - Do not get involved and distance yourself. No good will come from offering unsolicited advice. Caller 2- just break up, you're not that into him. Caller 3- You sound like you might be the problem. Why would he move from family and friends? Break up. Also if you don't like his family, you never will. You're not getting any younger. Move by yourself and start a new life.

@AS-gf8io Ай бұрын

Happy Monday!!

@madibailey7392 Ай бұрын

Second(?) caller’s boyfriend sounds exactly like my husband!! He actually had selective mutism as a kid and was always shy and introverted. He talks and jokes around his friends but he actually doesn’t have that many friends that he sees often. He’s always had a hard time with my family, but he’s gotten better over the years. He doesn’t like talking to me on speaker phone when I have someone else in the car 😅 but with me he’s quite chatty. We’ve been together 7 years and for a while it did bother me but I took a patient approach and it’s not really an issue anymore. I’m an introvert too though.

@melissagallant Ай бұрын

Can you please add chapters to the 'Ask Nick' episodes as well, even as basic as caller 1, caller 2 ect..

@assyrianprincess3 Ай бұрын

For caller #2: To put it bluntly, you're looking at this incredibly shallow. Here's a piece of advice that my mother gave me. Finding your person is not about marrying somebody exactly like you, it's about finding someone that makes you whole. If you married a man that that is exactly like you I guarantee you you'll end up killing each other. It is important to have differences that help complement each partner. I am also Italian and a big talker and my husband's pretty quiet. My husband is also a very good listener and he's very good at reading other people. At the end of the day, it's not a requirement that your family and friends hang out with your partner. It absolutely broke my heart that she said she never wants to be with someone like her dad only because it's hard for them to go out and be social. That is so horrible! If my daughter meets a guy that's quiet I don't care if he ever says a word to me as long as my daughter is happy and safe and he's got a good job and he loves her to bits. He'll be my son.

@hilatukurian9717 Ай бұрын

Last caller sounds like BF is in an immigrant family ..& he's not into you

@jillp7655 Ай бұрын

where are the time stamps?!?!?!??!

@maydaze5934 Ай бұрын

The best way it was described to me was not all men but most men and from there you can decide where the men in your life fall. Also Nick has been a dad for 3 days and is suddenly an expert on women dating men like him.

@Alyson542 15 күн бұрын

Last caller needs to find someone who isnt as family oriented. Its not fair to her bf that she wants him to move away from his family when hes clearly very close to them. If my bf asked me to move away from my family, Id think 1) he clearly hasnt picked up on how much my family means to me and 2) if he does, he clearly doesnt care

@MilenaPassage Ай бұрын

bring back mango Altoids!!

@biancaopala99 Ай бұрын

As a woman I agree with Nick's stance....we shouldn't lump all men or all women into one category

@heatheraggus7501 Ай бұрын

My interpretation of what Nick is getting at is that young men are being labeled as the problem purely due to their gender and it's not entirely unlike what women have historically suffered from. It's not a systemic problem but boys are certainly feeling vilified for things outside of their control. And then they are getting angry (right or wrong) and turning to the only people who will listen to them - other angry young men. And that's also a problem.

@swtdi40 Ай бұрын

I honestly think women's issues can be traced to how we were raised as well. Read the 1955 Good house wife's guide. I actually had a guy I worked with print it bring it to me and tell me this is why I wasn't and would never retain a man. I said I don't need to

@ritak6329 Ай бұрын

Caller #2, sloowwwww down girl. It’s hard to follow when you are trying to get your point across. Also, you need to work on active listening. Nick was trying to give you advice and immediately after you would say, “yeah, and also…” Clearly you are looking for someone who is an extrovert and not an introvert. Let him go…

@theBoringL Ай бұрын

Girl is taking for three people ...

@ritak6329 Ай бұрын

@@theBoringL it’s insane. I don’t know how nick has the patience.

@theBoringL Ай бұрын

@@ritak6329 she started the call by saying she was trying to see if he would " fix his behavior." He's an introvert. There's nothing to fix. And I had to stop at some point cause of a headache. Girl will talk someone into a stroke

@ritak6329 Ай бұрын

@@theBoringL oh yeah I gave up after a while!

@swtdi40 Ай бұрын

As a Mother of grown children you can raise children instill values. Then remember you have to let go, pray and let God!

@tarenmiller4178 Ай бұрын

I completely see what Nick is saying about men and women, and I think a lot of people are missing his point. Yes, throughout history, women have been systematically oppressed. Yes, this oppression still occurs today. BUT, there are ways that men are oppressed/targeted/attacked as well, whether people want to acknowledge that or not. Like Nick said, I do feel like the overcorrection of the patriarchy has been creating poor attitudes toward men and their value. I can see how young men easily feel disenfranchised and dismissed. There are major problems affecting mainly women and there are also major problems affecting mainly men. It makes me uncomfortable to hear the way that some women talk about men. I agree with Nick that two things can be true at the same time - there are actions from both men and women that deserve criticism, AND both genders are deserving of support and encouragement.

@DanielaPrimus Ай бұрын

This comment!!!! I agree so much with this insight. It’s like people only hear what they want to hear.. he acknowledged multiple times that both scenarios were true. Also, caller two basically proves his point

@peidan86 Ай бұрын

No, caller 1, this has nothing to do with you. Don’t listen to Nick. Get a life. Get your OWN life. She has no interest in your opinion. And by the way, you aren’t perfect either so maybe work on yourself. For example, why you’re so nosy about other people’s business and have nothing else to do or work on yourself.

@katherinesosa3897 Ай бұрын

I think nick fully respects women and truly understands women’s history, I think he just kind of has a “rough” way of explaining the harsh reality that yes boys can be really be harmed and probably are right now from the “all men suck” campaigns. I don’t think he’s trying to take away from women’s pain.

@katherinesosa3897 Ай бұрын

I also think that he’s even hitting on this topic not even for the betterment of men but both the benefit of men and especially women

@swtdi40 Ай бұрын

I agree with Nick there are misbehaving men and women. I have seen women take decent men to the mat for no reason. I have had my heart ripped out many times. So I agree it has to be about my choices as well. So we need to reflect back on ourselves.

@hannahconnaker5635 Ай бұрын

silent listener here, i just want to say thank you, about the “two things can be true at the same time” I think society creating a divide between men and women definitely hurts our future and as a woman, whos father is a deadbeat and i was raised by fantastic independent boss woman! I do struggle with wanting a man in my life and also like “i dont need no man” mentality 😂 and i just think its refreshing because i have bothers and me and my mom have tried our best to be there for their emotional needs but we are more nurturing and they never had a father or father figure to look up to so i do have to balance and acknowledge their manhood and be encouraging while also acknowledging the hurt us woman have endured and they are more then receptive, sometimes better than others. But anyways! Just thank you i find myself to keep setting boundaries and expectations for my new relationship with my boyfriend and myself and as a couple because i only want to continue to grow and evolve. With my brothers im always asking and encouraging them to think of what kind of men they want to be in the world as never having a father to look up to, thats what they can control! and having their sisters point of view as a woman and my mother who have endured a lot, and they have seen it all! So i think asking that question while also hearing their experiences as young men navigating this world is how I approached this and my feelings and even resentments or triggers that come up towards men. So anyways! I definitely see both sides and have experienced a world of hurt from both sides! And two things can be true at the same time! thank you for having and confronting this conversation!

@marlynmatias8349 Ай бұрын

Nick Respectfully this ain’t it. It confuses me that such an emotionally intelligent man doesn’t see the error of his ways. You double downed on this and I really don’t think you get it. To put it as simply as I can- Yes it sucks that the younger generation of men are paying for the “sins” of their older generation BUT this issue is not for women to solve or to soften THIS is the moment where men like yourself and other men respond to this by holding all men of all generations accountable for their actions and teach them how to be a man, a whole man that is emotional intelligent and never afraid to show all of his emotions. There has been disservice to men for decades telling them to toughen up, not cry, be brave etc when we should have been telling them it’s ok to be soft, to cry and to not know. This was perpetuated mostly by older generations of men and passed down. Now it is time for men to fix these mistakes and teach young men how to be men. Please stop blaming women for men’s bad behaviors. We are tired and still fighting for our rights to our bodies and literally fighting for our lives and protecting ourselves from men behaving badly. Stay Blessed and please hear people out in these comments and maybe invite a guest perhaps a man and a woman to discuss this who have more knowledge in the subject. You can part of the solution Nick. Respectfully Marlyn

@rtidball5650 Ай бұрын

That girl is so jealous of the dudes family she is just wanting to move him away from the family that’s the only motive

@rtidball5650 Ай бұрын

Why is that girl with that introvert boyfriend she doesn’t like him she is immature and cringy

@swtdi40 Ай бұрын

OMJ....I completely agree with Nick on this subject we need to have the conversation

@luna-rm9ui Ай бұрын

Wow the amount of people coming for Nick because he has his own opinion and is genuinely caring about certain topics is ridiculous like he said he's just respecting both sides but also has his own thoughts and opinions people need to get over their themselves we don't all have to agree on everything

@acd1168 Ай бұрын

You should have Professor Scott Galloway on your show then. He talks about this stuff (disenfranchised men).

@SusieBeiler Ай бұрын

I really appreciate you, Nick, speaking up about this issue with men. Both genders need healing. That's clear. It's important to talk about what's going on. I thank you for subjecting yourself to criticism about such a sensitive topic!