I’ll only have an apple all day and when it reaches 5pm sometimes I really give in. I binge and binge and say fuck it. Then I feel guilty and cry and try and throw it up. It’s not a choice, it’s really not. If I could eat normal I would

honestly myfitnesspal is SUCH an ed mood

What if you don't want to get help because the fear that everyone will over react , I don't want to end up in some hospital when it's not that serious I'm not anorexic

I go through stages where I eat so little and lose so much weight sometimes eating nothing and then stages of eating loads and idk thought it was normal

“You’re too fat to be starving yourself.” -My parents

100 to 300 calories a day so it was pretty obvious idk why I’m watching this

i just fasted (didn’t eat anything) for 36 hours and i never fasted that long. i have horrible hunger cramps, but i still don’t eat. this disorder is no fun, and if i was able to „just eat“ i would.

I’m not underweight but I have very disordered eating. I count my calories and have a daily limit set for myself🤔 I have always said I never want to be underweight and make myself ill!!!

At school I ALWAYS have my arms around my waist and ive lost 55 pounds in 5 or 6 months. today one of my teachers said "you're getting really skinny, is it on purpose or because you don't feel good" I'm not sure what she meant by that last part, but I still see my 210 pound body, I actually see zero difference even though I KNOW my waist is 10 inches smaller, I look in the mirror and see the same person. I've had 4 people tell me I got "skinny", but my bmi is 11 pounds overweight. I started at 213, 5'4 and now I'm 156

My friends always yell at me if I don’t eat, even if I’ve just binged. It just makes it worse

A few years ago the same thing happened me to, me and my bf moved in together 6 years ago and I used to cook amazing rich food for us I put weight on not much, but I started to be obsessed with food, I thought I was in control of it but it started again this years and now I have an ulcer which I really think is cause I starved myself, hard to talk about this because I'm ashamed but it's scary how easy it is to be obsessed with being a certain weight.

This video has made me realise I have a problem, the thing is I'm a healthy weight, and my bloods are fine, and some days I feel I'm in control of this so I don't think any dr or anyone would take me seriously. On another note, your makeup here looks absolutely glowing! That foundation, what is it!!!?

I think I have an eating disorder but it has nothing to do with my weight. I'm an extremely skinny person just by genetics. When I was younger I would eat all day. I would rarely go for an hour without eating. But then my family started making fun of it. they un-knowingly started this. now they still tell me that I eat too much on days I don't eat at all. They're too busy telling me I'm eating too much to notice I'm not eating at all. I was going to have a mango the other day and my older brother saw, and he told me to stop eating. This was not the first time, but it really did get me. for a few days I didn't eat. I know that it shouldn't affect me, but it really reverbrates. And then I'm told to eat during meals, so I eat too much, until I start sweating and can't eat anymore. I need help, but I'm sure there's no-one else like me. If you know someone like this, please tell me. I need to know.

I just ate a 200 calorie pastry thing and it literally tasted like card board... why did I do that😭

Great informative video Melanie. Don't forget that a lot of boys/men suffer with these same issues. Lots of pressure on them to look a certain way (cut, 6 pack abs, guns etc.). The advertising industry has a lot to answer for. Your doing great work btw.

You're skin looks just amazing! What kind of foundation did you use for this make up?

This is an amazing video sweetie loved it.. I have a degree in nutrition and I understand what your saying about misinformation out there.. I hear the most stupid comments regarding nutrition xxxx

My eating thing is pretty much, when it's bad, I restrict my food as much as I can without people noticing. And then I'm just like "why am I doing this I'm the only one who cares how much I weigh" so then I eat normally or binge a lot. And then I go back to restricting because I'm terrified of going over 200lbs. It's never really done anything though, I've never lost much weight, only gained. Although I'm starting to lose weight now which makes no sense because I'm currently in the "eat whatever I want whenever I want" part of the cycle. I've been trying to only eat when I'm hungry tho. I was exercising a little before bed for a while but I stopped that bc I was scared of getting found out. I need to start again. The messed up part is that I want to get worse. I want to be tiny, and I'm not tall at all so my weight can potentially be really low. I want to keeping losing and losing until I fade into nothing. Idk why I'm sharing this but yeah

What if youre a vegetarian for ethical reasons but get referred to a recovery clinic, will they force you to eat meat even if why youre doing it is for the right reasons?

Great video. I'm a UK Dietitian & try to promote healthy relationships with food.. The 80/20 rule for me :) xxx

I'm\was orthorexic I've up and down moments but I finally think I'm recovering.. you're really motivational!! ily

omg i love her eye colour

I went through recovery last year and today I finally got up the courage to post a video about it to my channel! No one should have to go through that I'm fully with you 💯

When I was 15 I went through a horrible phase of refusing to eat any carbohydrates at all, and weighing myself after every meal (sometimes even more often), and feeling terrible for every pound gained. I also did 50 sit ups a night and other exercises. Despite all this I still couldn't believe my body was anything other than horrible, and refused to go outside for days at a time, because it was too hot to wear jeans and I couldn't stand the thought of showing my "fat" legs in shorts. I'm 18 now, and looking back, I only now realise that I had a problem at the time, which thankfully did not develop into anything more serious. I hope people watching this video who notice any similar habits in their own lives will get the help they need and stop themselves from becoming as unhappy as I was.

You don't know how much you've helped me begin to sort my life out. Thanks so much Melanie :) God bless you. Xx

FANTASTIC video! I have so much respect for you for making these. We need to use our voices to raise awareness, not only for eating disorders, but for confidence issues in general. So many people feel inadequate and less worthy, most often because of something in their appearance. Everyone should know that regardless of their flaws, they have a right to be confident, they deserve to have positive thoughts about themselves, and they ARE enough just as they are. My motto is, "You don't owe beauty to anyone."

Melanie you're such an inspiration to teenagers especially teenage girls! You should be so so proud of yourself, Thank you so much for opening up about something that's so personal and something you went through yourself! I've gained so much respect for you for just having a youtube! You're one of my favourite youtubers now and I honestly can't thank you for talking about stuff like this! Thank you so much X

Do you think you could do a video on helping friends who have eating disorders?

This video was exactly what I needed. I watched your introduction video as well and it's actually startling how much I can relate to almost everything you said. I've actually struggled with Binge Eating and restriction for almost a year now next week and it's extremely hard to think about all of the time I've wasted thinking of food and what may happen if I eat a cookie, or go to dinner with friends and order something that isn't salad. I want help; I need help. Your video has truly inspired me to seek out that help and I cannot thank you enough for that; I really believe that one day I'll truly be happy in my own body and confident in my own mind. You're a beautiful person Melanie!

Thank you for doing this Melanie. I suffered from an eating disorder in my late teens/early 20's. I was far too thin and on the brink of being admitted to hospital. Then in my mid 20's my weight went the other way and I gained SO much weight in a short amount of time. I'm now in my late 20's and am finally happy with my body. My eating habits have changed drastically, and I exercise daily. And I no longer weigh myself. I've never been happier.

I've just found your channel and watched some of your videos and i have to say that you are such a brave and great person. I have been struggling with an ed for five years now and i can tell it's not easy to talk about it like you have done, i admire you for that and i also agree with you in pretty much everything you've said haha, people have to realize this issue is serious stuff, it's not like 'i want to be thin' it is much more than that and it makes you suffer so much.. Someone who has never been through it really can not understand everything behind that 'i want to be thin'. Keep doing it so well, i really hope young girls and also boys who watch your videos take you as their role model, i wish i had seen this video five years ago, you are absolutely LOVELY! 😘😘😘

Love this! I am going to try to send this to as many of my friends as I can, because even if they don't watch the whole thing it will still get more money going to BEAT!

I would just to say thank you for this video a few years ago I was over exercising to the extreme, cutting my portions and binge eating so i felt like i could relate to this video so thankyou. But more to my point earlier this year my best friend was hospitalized with anorexia she was starving herself and over exercising; her heart started to fail, her brain matter shrunk and she was going through depression she has struggled a lot since she has come out of hospital and every meal is a battle for her I shared this video with her and she told me later that she cried while watching it. You are such a positive inspiration for her and many others that she can make through this time in her life and still have look great afterwards

Thank you for making this video Melanie! I have recently tried to get help with my binge eating disorder and love the fact that the symptoms you have listed are affecting me less and less :)

Its crazy how many youtube bloggers have very similar experiences, e.g anxiety, depression, social anxiety etc. I have been dealing with post traumatic stress disorder and pretty much all of the above the last few years.It has affected my attitude to everything and changed my life in many ways, it's all an everyday struggle but it's also teaching me about who I am and accepting how I got into this way/pattern of thinking. This video really touched home with me as I have had very similar experiences when it comes to eating, I am still dealing with how I think about food. I agree that the media and internet does nothing but criticise anything that doesn't adhere to what they/we believe to be the "ideal". Fair play for braving a subject many young women wouldn't dare speak of, hopefully it helps others. Continue what your'e doing, you are doing the Irish proud :-) x

Thank you Mel for posting this video. I've been looking forward to this one since your last post on the subject. You\your story is scarily the same as my own!!! It is an everyday struggle! My life consists of calculating my calorie intake and burn, using fitbug and several other apps. I think of nothing else!!! Constantly on the scale, anxiety/depresdion and OCD to boot!! So Mel, you've inspired me to seek help (even though I'm petrified of change!) I need joy in my life again. I look at you, seeming to be so happy, and I want6 the same for myself! So, thank you for giving me the courage to battle what's ahead. I so appreciate you, and all you're doi g to help those in my shoes. I simply adore you! Huge hugs, Jennie

you are so brave girl! wish the best for you! xoxo

Deadly video Melanie! You should be so proud of yourself for sharing the story of what must have been a very difficult time for you in order to help others

Melanie, you inspire me so much. Not only did I start working out 3 months ago after watching one of your videos. You are a true role model for every young girl out there, keep going!

I absolutely adore this video and completely admire you for having the bravery to talk about this. I personally have never had an eating disorder but always struggled with food as I've never had much of an appetite and have spent most of my life underweight. Even now sometimes I'll eat because I should and not because I want to. And topics and videos like this are one if the reasons I'm so interested in nutrition and am studying it at Uni. Love this! And you dear are amazing! Much love!

love this mel!! its amazing how far you have come nearly 100k its crazy!!

I don't have an Eating Disorder but I am a supporter of Eating Disorder Awareness and I have even donated to the ED Foundation in my location! And on September 7th, I am taking part in an ED Awareness Walk! Anyhow Melanie, this is a great video and it's very nice of you to reach out to those who have an eating disorder. All the best to you now

I have such a similar story to yours! I love your videos about healthy eating and healty way of thinking, just because they are so positive and you focus on the importance of health and happiness, instead of being necessarily skinny, like many do. Thumbs up, you're doing such a cool and inspiring job, for your self and others. I personally would love more videos on this topic and on related topics, like anxiety ,or food recipies. LOVE for ya girl !

Oh Melanie! I love this video! I remember when I started high school I had such bad anxiety where I would just not eat anything for days at a time. Thank you Melanie for sharing your story with us xoxo

You girl, are simply amazing. I just adore you and all that you do. Been where you were and slowly getting to live the life I want and deserve. Xxx

So much love for this video Melanie! x

so happy for you, girl! thanks for this video!

It's so lovely that you'd post something like this to help other people :) x

I feel like I have the behavior but I'm really not skinny enough to say I'm anorexic ( 115 lbs)

This is fantastic Melaniie, you articulate everything so perfectly! I had anorexia and ended up as an inpatient but I'm so glad that I did because without doing that, I'd probably still be practically starving myself to death and it did save my life and I'm also living proof that things can change and it doesn't have to be like that forever. I then developed binge eating disorder and went to an outpatient clinic which actually didn't help at all but managed to find the balance myself and now feel that I have the best relationship with food that I ever have. Thank you so much for doing what you're doing, so inspirational and helpful. Love you xx

so much respect for this video and you melanie! I'm currently in recovery from anorexia bulimia and its no fun! you helped so much xx

Thanks for sharing your story! such a great vid! I lovee personal vids like this!

Such a great video Melanie, & a really healthy message to be sharing :-) x

I'm so happy you are making these videos! I was beginning to think that it was normal to constantly think about calories from the moment I woke in the morning to bed at night. At only 5 ft 1 I was told that I couldn't never afford to put on anymore weight and that has always played on my mind! I think a lot of girls feel that "oh well I don't look anorexic so therefore I don't have an eating disorder or no one will care because i don't look sick". But constantly worrying about what passes your lips, really affects the quality of life etc so I think this video has been so important because you touched on so many different areas of eating disorders and will be the first step to recovery for a lot of people watching. I know that I personally am going to work a lot harder to love the girl I see in the mirror :) X

This video convinced me to go get help for my bulimia. I can't thank you enough xoxo

You're so brave to speak about this Melanie xxx

Such a great video as always, love. I think the tips and information you're sharing is going to help inspire so many people to stop and take a look at themselves and see that they are beautiful the way that they are. Definitely right about all of the misinformation out there. With sites that provide "internet self-diagnoses" etc, it's easy to just brush aside the need to see a real doctor and face the real issues. We need to talk about this more and spread the word so that people won't have to be ashamed or scared of seeking help.

Hey Melanie. Thank you so much for telling your story and really using your audience to say something worthwhile. I was REALLY interested in hearing about some of the tips you had on how to lose weight in a healthy way both in mind and body. I know I have obsessive thoughts so I've stopped weighing myself entirely and I'm just taking it one day at a time. Thank you so much again!

I went through this when I was younger. Now I've gained a good amount of weight and I'm trying to lose it in a healthy way, but it's scary to think it could spiral out of control again. Thanks for sharing. Awesome video!

I had an eating disorder that started when I was in 6th grade I struggled throughout my junior high experience I lost a Ton of weight eating nothing, and working out all the time now I'm in high school recovered and I admire you making this video first to raise awareness and then second of all sharing your story I love your videos

I love this :) So inspiring! you and so beautiful and I'm so glad I have found your channel! x

I can relate to this video in so many ways!! SO much love xx

Great video Mel :) I love your channel and the message you give. Last year I became wheelchair bound due to a spinal cord injury and as well as my self esteem taking a huge hit, I started gaining weight because my calorie needs and ability to exercise have dropped so much. I've started becoming obsessed with calories but this video has really made me rethink how I've been thinking about food - I'm definitely going to stop calorie counting and focus more on being healthy. Please do some more recipe/snacking idea videos! :)

~Melanie you are such an insipiration to me! My skin and my whole life has improved since I found you! Thank you for your videos, keep doing a great job and stay strong (and beautiful and funny and amazing) :))

I have all of these symptoms...

Hi Melanie I started eating healthily about 4 months ago bc I was sick and tired of feeling so rubbish and binge eating constantly! So I decided to change, I ate in moderation, worked out a few times a week and thankfully overcame my binge eating!! I only recently realised I've become obsessed- all I think and talk about is food and I won't eat anything unless it fit my macros/calories on my fitness pal 😭 I was ready to crack I couldn't even sleep at night so, yesterday evening I deleted mfp!! I cannot tell you how free I felt today and how clear my mind was 😊 I'm only 17 and I know the exact calories in an orange for example and realised that wasn't right... I lost weight I didn't need to lose and now I'm dangerously close to being underweight so I'm glad I've realised now before it becomes too late I'm never going back to counting calories/macros it was controlling my whole life 🙊 I'm ready to move on from this dark part of my life... Thank you so much for this video xx

Thank you for existing, and making this channel

Omg Melanie your like my role model seriously, thank you such for this video!😄 you're really beautiful inside and out, I've been having struggles with an eating disorder and I just hope I can stop worrying about my weight and food and enjoy life like I used to.. Thank you and love you! 💕

Melanie, you are an inspiration. I admire your bravery, being able to talk about this... It's something we don't hear about as often as we should. I'm happy to say that I definitely don't have an rating disorder, but I answered quite a few of these questions with "Yes, I used to do that" Last year, when I was 14, I went through a dark time. I was obsessed with losing weight- I knew that the year before I had been 6 st 11, but now I was over 7 st and I didn't like it. I worried about food all the time, I was constantly looking up ways to diet on the Internet, and always thinking up ways of losing weight without anyone noticing... It got the better of me, I was always anxious and I began fighting with my family. And then, one day, I began to realise that what I was labelling "healthy eating", "a good diet" was potentially dangerous. It was hard to stop, but when my weight started fluctuating, I became scared. Like you, I was binge eating; so I made the decision to stop. I knew it was stupid. It was hard to learn to love my body, but now I'm 15, 7 st 5 (I think- I haven't checked the scales in a while) 5"3 and happy. Even in the times I don't love my body, I try to accept it. Now, I try to eat healthy and exercise regularly, but I allow myself treats (although sometimes too MUCH treats). You're so strong Melanie, and you are one of my role models :)

Hi Melanie I have been browsing your channel and really love you and your honesty and humour. This video touched my heart as I have been struggling with anorexia nervosa for years. sending you so much love and p.s i'm from Ireland aswell

Just scrolling through youtube and found this! This video really helped me, new sub!

I don’t know why, but I kinda want anorexia. I don’t know why and I’ve been slowly starving myself for the past 2 months and I haven’t gotten smaller, I only want a smaller frame. I don’t know how to stop, I want to try to stop starving but I just can’t. Help me.

Thank you so much for this. I believe I have an unhealthy relationship with food. Especially the part about being out of control & not being able to just eat 1 or 2 of something - I always "have" to eat the whole box of cookies and then go off the rails and order a large pizza w/ fries, fried chicken, more sweets and just eat til I feel sick...then I'll be so strict for the next couple of days, feeling guilty about eating something like a banana. I really do use food for comfort and go overboard with it. I appreciate your balanced approach to health. You're great

I can relate. I also have had an ED and I studied psychology some at Uni. I am now a few weeks away from finishing my masters degree in psychology! I think you made a great point about how everyone has a different healthy weight for their body. I wish more people understood that! Thank you for sharing this info and helping to connect people to resources. x

Oh my god Melanie this is such an amazing video! So helpful really helped me to understand about food and realisation that I might have an eating disorder aswell.

Great video Melanie! Please do more of these videos please, I think it is so important! I struggle with "loving my body" as I have quite wide hips which always make me look fatter but I am really going to try to change that and follow your advice!! You look amazing in the video! Although I love your fringe, you still look great without it! :D

Really interesting and insightful video - my worst habit is comfort eating (chocolate is my biggest weakness) and also comparing myself to others, like, constantly. Watching this really inspired me to give myself a talking to and hopefully break these habits, so thank you very much :) Glad you're doing well xx

Your skin is looking incredible, so radiant and glowy! Love your vids gal! x

You know what though girls, feck it I'm 5"2 and 10 stone and I'm happy out xxxx

Your makeup in this video is AMAZING .... I loooooooooove it veeerrrrrry much ...

Thank you for making this. I'm currently overcoming a binge eating disorder. I've started making some videos as well. Would love to chat more! Glad you're doing well these days. Xo

I needed this. Thank you

I know this is a little off topic but you look just like my best friend, who lives in a different city and this was one of the reasons when I subscribed. (I miss her so badly). You`re such an inspiration and your videos helped me to get motivated. I want to thank you, again, so much for what are you doing and I hope you will do more videos like this one because it surely helps a lot of girls. Hugs!

Hey Melanie! I've watched some of your ED videos and they're really good and true to reality! I have a few on here too(not as well presented though). You spoke about Anna Saccone doing an ED video wayy back in the day. I was on YT at that time too! Us Irish need to stick together like!!😁

This video is amazing ❤️ .. I have an eating disorder and this inspired me to get better xxx

This made me cry

Your videos are so inspirational, I'm so insecure about my body and have recently been struggling with binge eating due to a few months of stressful dieting. I find all your videos do helpful and I'm delighted to have someone to relate too, I have streatch marks from gaining and loosing weight excessively and was wondering if you have any tips on trying to help hide them. Thanks so much for sharing all your tips, your videos make me feel so much better xxxx

Thank you so much for this video

I have so many of these signs... I'm 36yo although I'm within my healthy weight, I always struggle to find my balance and go from super healthy to eating junk, until I start gettinga couple of kilos (like 2 or 3) and freak out! then I stop a start working out and dieting for like 3 months, then I get "tired" and demotivated and the cycle starts again. I was vegan for 6 months but couldn't do it anymore and suddenly just all the meat I could.:( I have a 2yo boy and noticed that this relationship with food got worse since the birth... I was diagnosed with post natal depression when he was 6 months and still take medication for it. I've been watching a lot of ANA MIAs video and I know I'm not at that point, but I know it's not normal... I do what you said all the time about checking if my "rolls" are showing up, specially at my work. I'm 1,59m and 52kg. I know the weight is healthy but I strugle in finding the balance. Lately I have been eating one fruit a day and the rest is carbs or fat, and if I eat 2 sausages then I wouldn't eat anything else for lunch because it's already "enough" calorie. i confess sometimes I just want to starve myself to losse the fat around my belly (which I know it's specially normal after pregnancy, but I can't seem to accept this) but I can't be sick because I have a son to care for... And yes I freak out just to think about being fat or having a disease that would make gain weight or a medication. Well, don't know why I decided to write this, the video is old and probably nobody will read it. I haven't talked about it with anybody, but I do get angry with my husband if I'm binging (what I consider binging) and he is looking at me like "wow, you will eat more?" I tell him "what? Let me eat" then he says "but later you will look at your belly and say you are fat" and yes I do that a lot. He never judges my appareance but the opposite, he alwas complimments me. Funny thing is that in the past month, I've been worried about getting weight and I just want to eat the foods I "shouldn't" then I feel guilty but I can't seem to have streght to exercise, and fat doesn't go away without exercise so I think that's why I then a feel guilty for eating badly. I can see the cycle :/. thank you for your video. It's the first one I watched from you because I came to my recommendations (as I mentioned, hve been watching lots of these videos)... I will definitely watch more of your videos. Just adding one thing... I used to love baking and making sweets and cake decorating and had started a home business, but I've stopped doing it and I always say it's because I have no time taking care of my son, but the truth is, is that I'm afraid to get weight because I must try everythig I make And I do like what I make, so yes... I know that's why I stopped doing because I'm afraid Ican't control eating my baking goods and leftovers etc. And The other day it just came to my mind that when I was in the univeristy (like 15 years ago) I was always loosing and gaining weight and I remembered I used to use laxatives for some time. And I a few other times in my life, but I haven't done that for more than 5 years I think. I see young girls or friends much bigger than me and I can't underdtand why I'm not happy with the way I look... I don't know why I'm telling here all of that...

Since I turned vegan for the animals I have really struggled with feelings towards myself and my body. I have 'good' and 'bad' foods and won't eat any carbs all day until dinner which I'll have a normal meal. I will often binge on fruit in the evening or eat a whole massive packet of raisins or loads of chocolate etc. I hate being so up and down but am terrified of putting on weight. Should I ask my mum to go to the doctor or would that be over dramatic? I'm not sure if this is normal or I have a problem. I am starting to doubt why I am vegan- I would hate to eat meat etc but I feel like I do use it in order to avoid 'bad' foods. I'd really appreciate any advice thankyou xx

Thank you mel :) your truly amazing

Amazing video, Melanie. Really necessary for Irish girls to have someone to relate to.

Your skin looks so good!

You're a beautiful person! Great video :) xo

Melanie this helped me so much! Basically I went through a really tough time with full blown anorexia during my freshman year, and I still haven't told anyone. I like to think I've recovered on my own and yet I still stress about food all the time, and I'm at a semi-healthy weight? still thin and miss periods alot. I don't know if I'm bad enough to seek help seeing that I've been much worse.

Amazing video baby :) x Hope it helps lots of people :) x

I literally didn’t even click on this video. it just appeared but alright I’ll watch this

I like this topic!!:-) quite new and interesting for me. And your makeup looks wonderful! can you tell me the product you used for your lip and cheek?

do some healthy cooking tutorials pleaseeeeeeee :( i love u you inspired me i'm on the other half of the earth i am from saudi arabia and thank u just thanks i needed this for a while when no body in my country seemed to care or talk about this because it's not common and i struggle with it. its just so awful to feel that way and you make it much better and how easier to just clean your mind your words so powerful thanks i love u :(

Omg, i use to be obsessed with healthy lifestyle too.Sadly i know what are you talking about. I hope this video reach more young people who struggle with eating disorder. :))