I stopped. I have energy, my mood is better, the bags under my eyes are all but gone, my skin looks better, my head is clearer, I deep-cleaned and then completely redecorated my flat with the money that would go on drinking and takeaways; floors, walls, decorations, furniture. I set up 2 fish tanks, I'm having actual fun swimming and riding my bike with my son, playing music. Best of all, my relationship with my son has improved, I'd see him on the weekend before, but his mum went the other way with alcohol and other addictions, so by turning my life around, I was able to take him full-time, before I could barely care for myself and blamed it on my spectrum disorder, now though, I'm managing to do all the things I thought I couldn't, it was not being autistic, it was drinking then and other drugs before that. Seeing the difference in him, how much happier he is, he has fun without substances, that is the example to follow, let your guard down and be more child like. The way mushrooms reminded me I could be, innocent, curious and excited by the wonders around me! The only thing I will take now is occasional mushrooms harvested in the countryside when he is with his gran, not even cannabis or caffeine! The only drug that reminds what being a child feels like, so I might understand the one that I love!

Hi... Im only 8 years late to the conversation spot the paddy😅!!! I used to use the original Dermablend years ago, I've had a make up trial and it was awful and immediately all I could think of was DERMABLEND I' would LOVE your advice on Dermablend should I use the 3D or regular I have combination skin and texture for sure. But I'm worried the SPF means flashback in pictures? But I also know some foundations can have SPF and not give flashback but I just don't know SOS w3dding is in 2 weeks 😅🤞❤️❤️x

I love how you answered the last question! So inspiring 🫶🏻

This vid is what I needed ❤

Sounds really tough and I can relate to your journey. Sucks it takes years to heal :( People don't usually understand excercise is a stress for the nervous system for us with this kind of problem. Can really tax hrv and make everything worse as hou said.

Those sweet baby toes at the end could change my mind!! I have two daughters aged 22 and 14 so quite a gap between them. My youngest was born when I was 30 and I too experienced the dread of being labeled a mother of AMA (advanced maternal age). There are many, many times when I wish I had one more because I would have loved having another daughter or changing it up and seeing what a son was about. But for financial reasons and time constraints we just couldn't do it. You guys will make the best decision for your family and we will just come along for the ride when you let us. 🥰

When my grandparents were married in the 60s my granddad was in the RAF and later he was in engineering. While my nan was gone with their children he put money into a separate retirement account just for her and gave her housekeeping money and then money cash that she could either put in her own bank or use as she pleases with no questions. Are men doing this today? Probably not very often. I was married 9 years and had no account or money of my own, I wasn’t on any of the credit even though I was the one that made sure bills were paid on time, I even had my access to a vehicle and education limited. The only reason I was able to get education was from grants and swapping childcare with a friend when my husband was deployed and couldn’t control that. Since my divorce 6 years ago I have gone on to get my masters and now I’m remarried (to someone else!) and I am working on my PhD. While I only work part time and not in my field of academic expertise yet, I have made it clear I keep my own bank account. My own cards that I carefully manage. My own truck and car which I paid off before we met as well as my own camper trailer that is also paid off. Those are a security net for me- I lived in the camper trailer before and would do it again. If my husband leaves me or passes away, I have a backup plan. I want to raise our young children (blended family of my 2 sons, his daughter and 3 daughters together) and be home but when they are older I have my credentials, credit score, and personal savings. Women. Don’t settle for not having security. If a man loves you he will have no problem with this and will want to make sure you are with him because you want to be and not because you have no money to leave.

Sense and sensibility people. 1. If your man is good to you and deserves a woman who’ll treat him good and come home to a peaceful space, then why not live the traditional gender role lifestyle if you can afford it? 2. With the feminism movement started in the late 1800’s, men these days are abundantly clear about the way women should be treated, and the consequences if they don’t comply with modern societal, moral and legal requirements. 3. Women need to learn to choose men better if they’re that worried. 4. If something happens, that’s what insurance is for. 5. Women should still be educated. 6. The gender roles shouldn’t necessarily mean that we’re reverting back to the way things were, it should be about how we adopt modern sensibilities into modern gender roles. So recycle an old idea, but infuse it with modern sensibilities.

Well, in the 50’s who scrubbed the toilet anyway?? 😂😂😂😂😂 someone had to.

Oh god Mel I love you so much!

Sweet Mel, I think you should work with people in real. I will miss you but I also have an idea. You might hate it or it might not work, but maybe it does. I have friends who I only see every half a year maybe you can instead of doing monthly vlogs do half-a-yearly vlogs and also a q and a. So you’d just film throughout the half year edit and publish it. Then to make it more of a conversation, we can ask questions and you make a sit down video answering those and then just do the same half a year later so about four/three videos a year. That should give you a lot of time. Off course the algorithm would hate it and I don’t know what it will do with your income, the ‘people job’ should probably generate something as well. But I’d be here for it! It would take some getting used too that way we could still see you and you could still hear from us. Or maybe quarterly. Lots of options!

Sauerkraut is amazing with a Buddha bowl of to put in some Korean veggie pancakes or a salad! :) or even on a hamburger

Do you use cleansing oils morning as well as in the evening? Also what about face wash in the morning...Would you recommend only cleansing oil in the mornings rather than only face wash? When I say 'recommend', I know everyone is different, but is that what you do and have you been doing this routine for long and what sort of benefits have you seen with it? Edit: also can you do a daily makeup and morning wash routine, your skin looks great, have you continued the peels (for the acne scars, because I can't see them really).

I’m sorry, but I’m 43 🤣 and I’ve never done anything

How many of you have been maids or janitors or maintenance man or woman? Say you are a maid in a hotel. How long would it take you to clean 4 or 5 rooms? That includes scrubbing the toilets. Women back in the 50's cooked from scratch and washed clothes and dishes by hand. The problem is too many women see housework as drudgery and slavery. It should be something you get knocked out the way in 2 or 3 hours and then the rest of the day is yours. And if you telling me it takes more than that to clean a house (even less for an apartment) then you are full of .... If you got kids same thing. Again, your problem is you work around and on the kids' schedule. No!!!!! You need to train the kid(s) to eat and sleep on your schedule. Women have raised 5, 10, a dozen kids with no problems in terms of completing tasks and keeping the kids fed and sane. Anytime anyone start whining about how it is so much harder today than it was in the 50's is well... just whining. The problem is today's expectations are so much higher, which in and of it self is a good thing. But reality steps in and keeps trying to tell you these expectations are not just unrealistic but delusional.

yay i'd missed the vlogs! inspired me to slow down and be phone-free for the day. and the snicker bites look so good it made me want to try them despite being slightly allergic to peanuts hahah

Maybe I should just accept that I have BDD and get on with living. I try to avoid mirror checking the best I can. It helps. I have to avoid a couple of guys as they are triggers. They trigger my BDD. They pick up on people’s vulnerabilities and use it against them for power and control so I’m not the only one who gets it ….I pray for perseverance in this life

We look good for our age because we watched our parents get cancers cut out of their skin... We wear sunscreen 😵‍💫

Great video.

Do more of these please! Feels so comforting, wish I got along with my sister the way you two do! ❤

Hi! From Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada, I am about 40% Irish and 50% Tahltan also 2% Mohawk or Ojibway.

I just found out I’m pregnant and it’s tough to wade through the sea of extremely opinionated parents online to find people/experiences that resonate with me, but just as I was getting overwhelmed I stumbled upon one of your videos and I thought, “omg a reasonable, chill momma of two. I think she’s a safe space for me!” And now I’m fully down the rabbit hole of your content and I’m hooked! Thank you for being you - you’re helping this new momma-to-be feel a little less anxious ❤

I saw this video years ago when I was in a really bad spot and I remember crying so hard because I related to the toxic relationship you had described and I didn’t know I needed to leave, but more than that I remember crying because you were happy now and in love with your best friend and I knew I needed that too and didn’t know how to get it. I’ve returned to this video to say you inspired me. I made the huge scary changes I needed to make and now I’m in that happy loving place years into dating my best friend as well! Thank you!

My husband and I have come so close to separating since having our kid (nearly 3 years in). We're still struggling and in couples counselling but we're just struggling to find the energy to put into relationship. He also wants to do a dance class together

I just listened to the whole video while having my lunch and taking a long walk :) i want to say SO MANY THINGS but I’ll just say thank you dearly for all of this! It was just so refreshing and nice. It felt like having a friend share their thoughts on life ❤please make more of these 😊

i have BDD since 13 and it only has become worse. Im 17 now and everyday of school is a torture. If my hair or makeup doesnt turn out perfectly (which is pretty much always the case) i often have at least one breakdown a day where i have to pause lesson to go to the "toilet" to just cry because it is SO exhausting I physically feel the impact of my mental health. I hate that because without BDD I would be a 1000 times better at school instead of nearly failing every year because I cant focus on the lesson. Its hell. I have been to therapy for nearly two years now and its just getting worse.

I love these kind of videos! Deep topics are my favourite. Best wishes <3

Love you and this channel. Hope you never leave us. :) Just listening to your voice makes me nostalgic.

This whole comment is from the part around 33:00. Respectfully, it is a hard disagree from me in regards to your driving instructor's opinions on self-driving cars. This is said as someone from N. America. Not to say that they aren't coming, but with the cost of cars superseding most people's incomes, people have been looking to used cars at increasing rates. Added to this is the American cult of independence where to be a driver who is in control of a car is seen as a point of power within many demographics. Self driving software is also nowhere near nuanced enough because it cannot predict the unpredictable--ever try driving in New England? People drive like maniacs there and the roads have such poor and inconsistent signage that it would be a nightmare for AI. Also, frankly having self driving cars would limit people's ability to skirt the rules of the road and most people wouldn't take kindly to spending even more time in a car because they can't go over speed limits (sad but true). There's so much more that goes into that but honestly, full self-driving individual cars, unless mandated by the government, won't be the majority in the U.S. for at least 40 years, if that.

I took a look at your instagram and am absolutely horrified by your stance on what you just call "Gaza." You don't care a whit about what happened on October 7th or ever since to Israelis/Jews. You are clearly an anti-Semite and it's vile. You throw a sentence (maybe one for every 1,000) about not supporting anti-Semitism, but you actually are an anti-Semite and promote anti-Semitism. It's grotesque and uninformed. And trying to analogize to whatever happened in Ireland? Come on, these two things are not the same. You would be brutalized in Gaza because you are not a Palestinian MAN. You should care more than this as a woman and a mother of a girl.

We need to bond over MAKING the food. My roommate and I use to make a chili every weekend in the winter. It was not great but making it with her is a dear memory….we ate it with grilled cheese or chips so ya know, not healthy. But we bonded over making it. My daughter loves making cookies. She loves eating them too but I think the cooking is what she really loves. Let’s bond over cooking healthy foods with our loved ones.

As a fellow mom: Do you want a third child, or do you miss your children being babies? Because they all grow up 💚

The relationship talk was really helpful, thanks for sharing. My partner and I don't have kids because I'm disabled. Similar situation though with him working 12hrs a day 5 days a week, and I'm constantly home because my health has been declining. I've found it hard to deal with the resentment of having to do everything around the house solo on 4-5 hours of sleep each night, and varying levels of chronic pain and exhaustion each day. Especially because developing multiple chronic illnesses by my late 20's has been a lot to process emotionally. I'm constantly faced with the realization that my life is nothing like I had imagined it would be. Not comparing is great advice though. I constantly remind myself he works hard for both of us, but sometimes emotions don't care about logic. I'm still working on communicating how I feel in the moment.

Mel I wrote notes to comment as I’ve stop started as I’ve got two little ones too! And I always watch and want to comment but by the time I’ve finished, I’ve forgotten / busy / IYKYK! And I know you know 🤣 So! Take my words with a pinch of salt / just my thoughts / they could be wrong! - I’d personally try not to play into the propaganda about being vegan for the planet, while yes reducing or eliminating animal products from factory farms is essential, if your belly LOVES yoghurt, then don’t replace it with a vegan one - there really won’t be one that does the job (real proteins, fats, not processed etc.) For a more planet friendly version, looking for yoghurt from a dairy farm that practices “regenerative agriculture” or “biodynamic” farming (Rudolf Steiner) is amazing! - Have you heard of seed cycling? Super great for hormones apparently (links to our menstrual cycle!) - the seeds you’re eating are probably great for your hormones and female reproductive health. - I’ve been neglecting my nutrition so much. So just watching what you eat for breakfast has already inspired me, especially as it’s so doable (quick and throw together!) I’m lactose intolerant which is paradoxically annoying as my husband is a goat farmer. So not sure what I’ll replace the yoghurt with as I don’t have good vegan options here in Romania. - It’s so good you’re laughing through your workout with your little lad. I’ve tried and I get frustrated even when I promise I won’t, so now I just do it separately which means I barely workout! You’ve inspired me to chill dafuq out and just have fun with it. Anyway. I’m inspired to try again as it’s a mindset and they’re our beautiful angels who just wanna play! If I make it a fun experience then he’ll associate exercise with POSITIVITY, and that’s what we want right! End of notes for now - will re watch your videos once me boys have grown and I have more “time” :)))

the dangerous part of dieting that a lot of ppl go through unfortunately is that you don’t know when to stop

hey i also had two years this is the first time ir elsted so much, everyone else is talking abt ten years or something or ‘looking really sick’ i looked normal at my worst times where i would litterally eat half a piece of fruit a day

If it is MS, you should stop eating dairy food... I have and I have found that eating dairy makes my tingling area worse

Buy chickens. Best thing ive done these last few years. Never have to buy eggs again and chickens are hilarious.

I thought you were 23....❤ I think you're beautiful just the way you are❤ I got filler over 3 years ago and my lips and a few drops in my cheeks. The lady who did me said I didn't need very much and not to come back more than once every year or once every two years. My financial situation has changed since then and I no longer have extra money for things like that. But I am okay with the reflection I see in the mirror. I will not be going back for treatment❤ I love your honesty your transparency and your sweet spirit🎉

now days you can get a degree online while you kids are young

I really like and appreciate your take on a lot of things though not agree on all :) .

LOVE this take and the nuance you provide! I will say, I take my son to 'nice' restaurants (depends what you consider a nice restaurant but not mcdonalds, food courts etc) like wagamamas, pizza express evening meals, zizzi and independent cute hipster cafes. I refuse to think that a child existing in a space that isn't a designated space 'for kids' is an annoyance or a burden. If we imagine the conversation being about an adult with tourettes or someone with verbal stims it'd be much less acceptable to refer to them as annoying and shame them out of certain spaces. Obviously expensive 5 star restaurants are different as you're paying for a certain standard of experience but if they have a kids menu, I'm going 😅 we wander round, look out windows, etc whilst we wait for our food and even run around outside if needed. When the food arrives he eats/makes mess (which we clean up) and then if he gets bored/finishes before we do then we bring out special toys and books that he doesn't see at home, so they're a novelty. Doesn't work every time and sometimes one of us is pacing back and forth whilst the other is eating and then we swap but I think exposing your child to these experiences and sharing quality time as a family which isn't just the kids running wild, over stimulated parents and mediocre food (lots of cheap places do good food but I adore wagamama specifically). I do think this is such a hugely nuanced topic though and everyone's kids are so different! We've been doing meals out since he was a very young baby and yet to have one where he was a massive disturbance.

Fantastic video, a lot is very relatable and I wish I was as organised and proactive with my self care 😅 I’m saving this to my “health” folder to rewatch as needed 💚

100% agree on your religious/spiritual views! But ALSO, you spoke my feelings so well, I’ve really been struggling with the stonewalling and I thought it was just a me problem. I related a lot to the resentment in the relationship despite knowing the logic. I started crying when you spoke about telling your partner you miss them. I do believe it’s very hard but I think the communication that comes from those hard moments make your relationship stronger. I love this video, thank you!

I have been having the next child debate myself. My only child will be 9 soon and I never wanted this big a gap, but life happens. I know I will regret not having a another. At the same time I’m so anxious about giving up what I have. It’s so scary, but like you, I need to be okay with the unknown. Anyway, thanks for being honest.

I grew up and raised kids in an era where domesticity was not supported or encouraged unless you were very wealthy. I would have loved to have someone to say “making a home is a worthy pursuit.” And it wasn’t a soft, easy life. You’re basically doing the work you’d be paying someone else to do. This was a great video looking at it from all sides and I would agree we need to get off women’s cases and just let them be, career or home focused. We really can mind our own business.

I have been living with low upf for almost a year now. It is literally the best thing I've discovered for myself in my life. I used to follow a raw food diet in my 20s for about 3 years, and I am amazed at how much healthier my attituse to food is than it used to be back then. I can still eat upf snacks etc if they come up in a social context, but I have no feeling like I'm missing out the rest of the time, I love eating home cooked foods, they absolutely do taste the best. So nice to hear you talking about it. I do still eat a lot of carbs though😅 I have gone back to making my own sourdough and I add a tonn of seeds and various flours to it

Although splitting tasks between husband and wife based on who's best at what (or who knows how to do what) could work while you're both in good health, what happens if one person gets sick? My parents are in their 70s and my dad retired about 17 years ago because of mini strokes. He recovered quite well, but hasn't lifted a finger around the house since - I think mostly out of that 1950s-raised mentality that certain tasks are "female only." In the last few years he's been getting mildly senile and very out of shape so he can't do any repair or car-related tasks, which means my mother has to do everything. Every day she makes his meals and serves them to him, then does the dishes and cleans, shops for food, pays bills and taxes, takes both of them to appointments, etc. He could help with dishes and cleaning - he's physically capable of that, but he doesn't want to because it's "women's work" - He's never cleaned a toilet or cooked a meal in his life, so he doesn't know how and is too old to learn. My mom can't do the car repair tasks (she never learned those), so that's up to me and my brother, along with heavy lifting and stuff of that sort. My point is, everyone should know HOW to do all household tasks, whether they end up doing them regularly or not. A guy shouldn't have to call in a female relative to change a diaper or do a load of laundry or feed his kids if his wife is in bed with Covid. No wonder women usually get the kids in a divorce - from what I've seen, even among most younger guys, they are totally unclear on what needs to be done to keep their kids alive, let alone thriving. They don't know how to call the kids' school or how to pack them a lunch or what time to pick them up from school. And women often let their husbands deal with all house repairs and car problems. What if he gets sick or injured or even dies? Do you know how to change the oil, or at least know that it needs changing occasionally? Do you know how to buy the right antifreeze (if you live in a place with cold winters)? You don't need to prepare for divorce necessarily, you need to prepare to be able to survive if for some reason your husband/wife were incapacitated.

Yes more vlogs i love them my daughter is 2 and its nice to see another mom my age go about her day

Would definitely love to see more vlogs like this! Love all of your videos but this one was really relatable as a mum of a 2 1/2 year old and someone who has been unwell recently I’m finding it hard to re-centre myself…this video has been a reminder to slow down and accept that I’m not who I used to be/don’t have the ability to do everything I used to be able to and that’s okay. Thank you🩷