Ways And How An Ex Tests You After Breakup

Рет қаралды 143,545

Жыл бұрын

Get the Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach.com/ebk. Learn ways and how an ex tests you after a breakup and what you should do about it if you want to get back together and reunite with your ex. If your ex is testing you after a breakup, it's important to be aware of what's going on and to respond in a way that feels healthy and appropriate for you. You don't have to engage with their tests if you don't want to, and it's okay to set boundaries and protect your own emotional well-being. It's not uncommon for an ex to test you after a breakup so be aware.
The reasons why an ex might test you after a breakup can vary, and the meaning behind their behavior will depend on their specific motivations. Here are a few possible meanings behind an ex testing you after a breakup:
1. They want to see if there's still a chance to reconcile: If your ex is testing you after a breakup, it could be because they're hoping to rekindle the relationship. They might be looking for signs that you're still interested in them or that you're open to the idea of getting back together.
2. They're trying to ease their own guilt or anxiety: Sometimes, an ex might test you after a breakup because they're feeling guilty about the way things ended, or they're anxious about how you're doing without them. They might ask you questions or try to initiate contact as a way of easing their own discomfort.
3. They're trying to manipulate you: In some cases, an ex might test you after a breakup because they're trying to manipulate you. They might be looking for ways to control your emotions or behavior, or they might be trying to make you jealous or insecure.
4. They're trying to stay connected: After a breakup, it's common to feel a sense of loss or loneliness, and an ex might test you as a way of staying connected to you. They might be looking for ways to maintain a relationship with you, even if it's just a friendship.
In general, if your ex is testing you after a breakup, it's important to take their behavior with a grain of salt and to trust your own instincts about what's best for you. If you're uncomfortable with their tests or you feel like they're not respecting your boundaries, it's okay to communicate your needs and set limits on your interactions with them.
SUBSCRIBE To Coach Lee!

Пікірлер: 630

@Rob-qs3xx Жыл бұрын

I was in a six year relationship. My gf left me for some dude she works with who was married with 3 kids. I have been in no contact for 4 months now it did not work. My advice to you all work on yourself move on stop thinking about the other person there are millions of people in the world. The person you thought was specal is not trust me. You built that image of them in your head. Thats not who they really are i promise. If they loved you they would not have left you and treated you like a stranger. Head up chest out move on.

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

Exactly!!! Also, unfortunately, most breakups and cheating happen with people the person works with or us in a close friends group. Sad world

@HaleBoy80 Жыл бұрын

Best comment

@wickylopez8867 Жыл бұрын

My did come back and she did apologize. But to your point, no one should sit and wait.. Act like they are truly gone and work on yourself, like coach says.. hope your in a better state..

@craigjefferson452 Жыл бұрын

I’m going through the exact same thing except it was a year and 7 months it hurts but I’m pushing forward

@thebestpossiblescenario2002 Жыл бұрын

I mean this isn’t applicable to every situation, for you since she left you for someone else sure the best advice may be to move on. A lot of us here made mistakes on our part and hit our exes breaking point where they felt they couldn’t deal with certain things anymore. If there is a decent chance I don’t see why not to wait a bit and see what happens, either way you shouldn’t be jumping into a new relationship immediately post breakup so I don’t see the harm as long as you’re making positive changes in yourself during that time

@Alex-wt9nf Жыл бұрын

“When trust is broken the history don’t mean shit” I truly believe that.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Alex007, it depends on what she did. If she cheated, I totally understand. Be good to yourself.

@theway-hadarekh3571 8 ай бұрын

You don’t deserve someone who comes back. You deserve someone who never leaves. You don’t deserve someone who loves you only when it is convenient for them. You deserve someone who loves you no matter what. You don’t deserve someone who treats you as their backup option. You deserve someone who makes you their only option.

@angelinadenisenko7396 2 ай бұрын

Needed this!

@tyleryoung306 Ай бұрын

As romantic and self soothing this comment is, it doesn’t actually reflect reality. My grandparents have been married since 1958, they’re the best of friends and lived a happy fun and fulfilling life. After 2 years of dating, my grandmother broke up with my grandfather. They didn’t talk for almost 3 months. And then they both went to the same party, and they saw each other and talked and realized it was half my grandma, and half my grandpa that contributed to the break up. They reconnected, and got married a year later. I know many married couples that did this as well. They’re all still happily married. Now the couples that broke up more than 3 times, and had a lot of volatility, where they never gave one another the time to process what was going wrong, and what they were each responsible for, and still got married all ended up in divorce. For the ones who had never broken up prior to marriage, half of them divorced. Sometimes it’s because they barely knew one another before getting married, sometimes it’s because they got married too young.

@dhanushv9753 Жыл бұрын

60 plus days no contact. Coach Lee you saved me from lot of things. I became stronger. went to gym .gained confidence. changed my job ,place probably everything. i am thinking now that my breakup is a blessing

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

It most likely is

@danscott2059 Жыл бұрын

100%

@sorryIdontGetIt Жыл бұрын

I dont love my ex anymore. The sad thing is once there was me fighting for a dying relationship, now it’s no one so the love we once had is officially dead. when time has passed, you just dont care. No hate, no love, they are just irrelevant to you Edit: I forgot to mention that a few months ago I still longed to my ex. Coach lee helped me a lot. You will come back to yourself. That’s the really the one feeling I feel. You will recall that once you were happy without them and you will go back to that person.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

sorryidontge, I used to feel that way after my relationship broke up. I actually gave up, but I started going out with my friends, and I picked up a hobby. You will be fine. TIME is a great healer! Big hug for you..❤️💙⚘️⚘️👍

@walkertranger5746 Жыл бұрын

I wish I could get to that point

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

Yup. Indifference. That's what happened to me. Once enough time passed and your mind rewires it self after reflection and healing you realize it's not so bad anymore and that much better can be had moving forward.

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

@@walkertranger5746 takes time and effort. It cant be rushed

@Kmahersh01 Жыл бұрын

I think this happened to my ex too. I waited too long to come back, I thought he moved on. We went out on one date after 3.5 months of bc but I was too open with how I missed him, but other than a breadcrumb text every 4-5 days, it feels like he’s over it and just enjoying that I came back and just here to feed his ego. Now do I send a text that I need to move on since its clear reconnecting isn’t going anywhere or do I just disappear back into no contact. I’m guessing I just need to move on and put my energy elsewhere. It’s hard not to get sucked into the crumbs. It’s confusing because technically I left him, but it was because he wasn’t sure about a future after 4.5 years together. I’m confused on my role of dumper/dumpee. In the past he put the effort in to bring us back together, this time he is not putting in the effort. He did initially with suggesting coffee and dinner, but I guess I was too eager and lost his interest. What is my best next step?

@ceeze9923 Жыл бұрын

You’re right. My ex offered my friendship. I said …” you’re out of your mind. There’s no way I’m being your friend.”

@JuliusSP1 Жыл бұрын

what did she/he say?

@ceeze9923 Жыл бұрын

@@JuliusSP1 she didn't say anything. She just looked at me. 🤣

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

CEEZE, never be friends with an ex! It doesn't work.

@harolddasynth795 Жыл бұрын

I won't be a friend to a woman who dump me...

@numbandintheend Жыл бұрын

I should’ve done this. Save myself so much grief.

@jackjacky8105 Жыл бұрын

immaturity makes me walk away forever, don't have time for little kids.

@reneekoffeeatwood3386 Жыл бұрын

My ex came over to me yesterday and asked does he have to keep making efforts to be friends😂 After dumping me we can never settle on friends! Boy Bye!!!!!!!

@lme5010 Жыл бұрын

Coach Lee…you have been my go to beacon of strength since the beginning. I respect & follow your advice to this day. NC for almost 7 months. He pulled the friendship card, called/texted with nothing direct for months & still likes my posts. I just continue to just work on me. Whatever is meant to be will be. But with NC, I walked away with my head held high so that his last memory of me is one of strength & dignity as opposed to a sad, weepy begging mess. Fist bump 👊🏼

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

Why are you even still associating with an ex thriller social media? That always seems strange to me

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

LME, when my ex and I broke up, I immediately got off social media. It makes no sense to me at all for him to see/watch what I'm doing. It's over!

@RTSBone 7 ай бұрын

Could you please explain what you mean by "called/texted with nothing direct"?

@BoiledOctopus Жыл бұрын

5. Acting like nothing has changed. This is the EXACT thing that is happening with me at the moment. Broke up with me, we had an AMAZING relationship (her words), and she keeps texting, saying 'she's cracked' after only a few days. I'm responding in a timely fashion, but giving her nothing. Taking back control, irrespective of whether she decides to come back or not. Acceptance of the break up is crucial and that understanding that your ex will never want to come back to you. Go from there.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Boiled Octopus, I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you. It's excellent! It has strategies for every situation. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

@insaneboy1234 Жыл бұрын

It's day 26 of no contact. The worst thing that happened to me after breakup was that there was no shoulder to cry on. My brother and sister who never loved someone in their lives laughed at me and made fun of me while I suffered in silence. I miss her like hell but I can't do anything 😔

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Elijah, you're doing a great job by staying NC. TIME is what you need. You have to get out of the house. Go out with your friends, pick up a hobby, and try to meet new people. That ALWAYS helps. Like I said, it will get better. Good luck to you..♥️🌷

@shreyansjain7905 Жыл бұрын

All strength to you brother. Today's my 13th day of NC. Hurts like hell, ik! But have patience she'll contact you. Stay strong. We are in this together. 🍻

@isabelfernandes1967 Жыл бұрын

Day 19 of NC here !! Come on !!! We can do it !! Strenght for all of you 👏👏🌹

@DewieStewie7 Жыл бұрын

Then get your shoulder here

@Shiprats Жыл бұрын

Day 4 of NC slow but steady

@modernman7576 Жыл бұрын

I was in a 3 year relationship and she gave me the friendship talk and I did actually see it as an insult. I simply told her I wasn't interested and went straight up no contact. If you put in the work to be in the starting line up don't accept being put on the bench.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Modern man. Good for you! 👍

@Rob-ck7td 8 ай бұрын

How’s no contact going for you now ?

@Rob-ck7td 8 ай бұрын

Did she ever put in the work & finally come clean?

@modernman7576 8 ай бұрын

@@Rob-ck7td nope

@Rob-ck7td 8 ай бұрын

@@modernman7576 smh, keep ya head up high man - you don’t deserve that

@kryptoniana9489 Жыл бұрын

When i moved on and decided to getting over my ex she texted me... I ignored her, but this experience showed that If i ever experience a harsh break UP... All i need to do is calm down and wait If the person is worth our love. My english is a little rusted Sorry for that

@myle6749 10 ай бұрын

I really like that your videos get straight to the point without a super long intro. It makes me want to watch more of your other videos and to even watch the same video multiple times.

@flaminggaming5295 Жыл бұрын

Hey coach lee! When I thought all was lost, and I was beginning to throw in the towel and lose hope, she reaches out. After 3 months of absolutely zero contact. It is through watching your videos daily that I found the strength to keep away no matter what, and it worked like a charm! The conversation is casual at the moment, just like you said it probably would be, but we shall see what happens! Thank you for giving me strength!

@RealCoachLee Жыл бұрын

Stay strong FlamingGaming!

@frandifrandi Жыл бұрын

@@RealCoachLee Hey Coach Lee, I'm in the situation where we broke up 7 months ago, we kept our communication going, I didnt know about NC yet. In the past 7 months there were times she reached out to me, showing that she needed me (mental health episode that she has), I was there for her and then breadcrumbs. Most of the time I reached out to her. The reason she broke up with me is that she wants to have her time and space to find her ownself. Just 3 days ago, i was frustrated and reached her, pleaded for chance. Do you think it will still work, knowing that the fear phase has passed for her? I feel like i've missed the chance.

@JustLIkerapunzel Жыл бұрын

@@frandifrandi Wow.. The fact that she reached out due to mental health problems just shows how selfish she is and how little she cares about your feelings as she knows you were the ome who got rejected. There is no reason for her to want you back since she still gets your attention and support on her terms. It's finally time for you to go NC! First of all IF you want her back, that's the only way as she has to first lose you to see your value because she would not have left if she saw you as someone worth sticking around for to begin with. Second of all: As someone who does have mental health issues with phases of depression - I really recommend for you to go as well NC for your own sake! You still invest your mental energy into her while you're not fine yourself obviously! You can't poor from an empty cup! You don't habe much to offer until you actually start to focus on yourself. And by the time that you invest into yourself and your well being you might start to befriend the idea of dating someone without mental health problems. You don't need to be someones rescuer. Educate yourself about a secure attachment style and make it your priority to become secure

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

@@frandifrandi IF you want her back, I would definitely get Coach Lee's Breakup Kit. It's: myexbackcoach.com/ebk

@KirboTurbo18 11 ай бұрын

Any updates?

@kalvin-xp1ns Жыл бұрын

Thanks to coach lee ! You have been my rock . My wingman in my darkest days. Your videos take away my anxiety and heartbreak

@RealCoachLee Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind words Kalvin! I'm sorry that you're going through this. Stay strong!

@AreiosSeraph 2 ай бұрын

Coach Lee never ages.

@shawny979 Жыл бұрын

Coach Lee you nailed it! I was tested. He took me around and around, before giving up and the final discard. Mine asked for Friendship and I said No.

@parastoofarmani6065 Жыл бұрын

My ex reached me out after 9 months of NC he apologized me for every bad things he have done to me , he said he missed me and my voice, and after this conversation he didn't text again. He is just watching my stories in silence.

@voidwalker9223 Жыл бұрын

So reply wtf

@kagamitaiga9167 6 ай бұрын

So you didnt reply? He thought it was useless to pursue anymore

@Yennie97 9 ай бұрын

This channel has helped me so much. Not in the sense of getting my ex back after he broke up with me, but a few things: - knowing what’s going on in his head. A huge amount of my anxiety came from not knowing why, what happened or what he is thinking through this process - reinforcement of no contact!! I think I would have messaged him back if it weren’t for your emphasis on the importance of nc - knowing that one of two things will happen: my ex may come back, or he may not. Either way, it is for the best and I will be happier than being in a relationship with someone who I am wrong for & doesn’t want me in the same way These things have helped me to gain perspective and begin to detach. They have also comforted me in my darkest moments. Thank you for all you do coach lee 🙏

@kerryngai6640 6 ай бұрын

Wow, you nailed it. My ex of 30yrs insisted (yes insist) we become friends after our divorce. I was so hurt by how he treated me the 2yrs before our divorce. He made me feel disgusted about myself and then wanting to become amicable which really confused me. In the past, we had parted and i fell back but not this time because ive come to realised he's not just a cheat but a serial cheat. It hurts but i am proud of myself by saying no this time.

@CoachKen Жыл бұрын

Testing is a consistent part of them coming back - don't let it trigger buyers remorse or over pursuit - try to take it as confidence that NC is working and stay strong

@MissSarahGM Жыл бұрын

Does calling for my birthday a year after the breakup, and disappear again for months, is part of dumper's testing? I decided to not wish his birthday because I don't want to signal he still has me.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

@@MissSarahGM Good for you, Sarah...👍⚘️

@MissSarahGM Жыл бұрын

@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you, it'll be hard but I can't pretend we are friends as he has not reached out in months.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

@@MissSarahGM you're doing a great job! I am very proud of you...I was in your situation at one time, so I know it works. 👍

@kishaweatherspoon8045 Жыл бұрын

amen doing this now💪🏽💪🏽

@1newwoman07 Жыл бұрын

This man is god sent! Trust the process

@jillransom8991 8 ай бұрын

The part you mentioned about them contacting with small talk as if nothing happened really resonated with me. Your comments on this clarified to me how to handle it better. Thank you.

@RealCoachLee 8 ай бұрын

Jill, I'm glad to hear that. Do you have my Emergency Breakup Kit? If not, here is a discount code that takes 25% off the price. The code is 2A53FC. Just go to myexbackcoach.com/checkout/?level=1

@johnsmith1034 4 ай бұрын

You don’t respond that’s how you handle it

@powerhousemethod Жыл бұрын

Buy the kit!!! Totally saved me!!! Leveled me up hard!

@lopakadiego6358 Жыл бұрын

speaking facts. can't fall for any tricks. leave an EX in the past where they belong and move forward.

@MDDR-io7nh Жыл бұрын

11 months of NC after 22 years together. He's been with someone else all this while. Its definitely over.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

MD DR I would say it's over. That's a long time.

@suzyben1984 11 ай бұрын

You donno how much i respect your advices, everyone is giving the narcissist devil speech and encourage us to leave without any rational explanation, you are very logic and realistic.

@Amberhope835 Жыл бұрын

Thank you coach Lee for your knowledge and wisdom, for your time and valuable advice. I absolutely believe in no contact rule, it works, if only people are patient and believe in the healing power of time. You’re the best 🙏🏻😊

@John-lc1uq Жыл бұрын

When someone dumps you and they give you that bs line about "still wanting to be friends" what they really want is you to be their "Emotional Tampon ". Thanks but no thanks...

@aliarsenal6136 Жыл бұрын

I told my ex that there is no way we are going to be friends. I ignored him twice when he spoke to me. I think I hate him for the betrayal but I still like him a bit. But hopefully time will heal

@walkertranger5746 Жыл бұрын

Coach Lee You are phenomenal! Coach Ken too! I’ve been listening for 2 years and you hit the nail on the head every time

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Coach Lee is the best! He literally saved me years ago, and he taught me a lot. I will ALWAYS be grateful to him.

@hilo5901 Жыл бұрын

Right! The work…great point! Consider the work.

@sanyahragland-oj5od Жыл бұрын

I came here for the advice but your eyes caught my eyes and your eyes blend in with the background so well ocean eyes🌊👀😊 thank you for the advice ❤

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

GREAT VIDEO LEE!! 👍

@user-hi8ig6me4t Жыл бұрын

Why would you want ex back they cheated on you.. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with my ex ignore them block them move on so many people in the world.. why settle for less.

@shivatecs Жыл бұрын

Coach Lee, I love you man!

@Tailionis Жыл бұрын

Friends never work. Just leave. They won't chase u. Move on. It is what it is. Accept it and cry for a while until u r numb and than someone else can do it again to you

@shawnsweet2349 10 ай бұрын

I needed this video right now Coach Lee

@xcoachkim Жыл бұрын

This video was timely and I like the points you address Lee, very relevant for a lot of people in the FB group.

@r.maelstrom4810 Жыл бұрын

Is there a Fb group?

@xcoachkim Жыл бұрын

@@r.maelstrom4810 Yeah, it's here facebook.com/groups/coachleesgroup/?ref=share

@RealCoachLee Жыл бұрын

Yes at m.facebook.com/groups/1634946860211229/

@dimitargeorgiev3049 Жыл бұрын

Hi Coach Lee thank god that you are on this earth and thank you for the efforts you are making for all of us broken hearts! I have been of NC for two weeks and my case is this..she dumped me and the reason for this I think is because I left her many times because her attitude was narcissistic and selfish but every time I came back because I told myself she's young, she doesn't know what it's like to love and so on, and because I love her madly, of course. The last time we saw each other we had a fight , again because of her attitude towards me and she accused me of not understanding her and leaving me. Our relationship lasted 4 months and was very intense. My question is, will no contact work in my case, yes ,she left me, but I'm partly to blame for that too. I watch your videos every day and they definitely help me get through the situation, for which I am infinitely grateful, God bless you and courage to all!

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

Man, you basically answered your own question. You're being gas lit and used by a narcissist. Why would you want her back? Why would you want to be in that type of relationship? You're not in love, you're trauma bonded to an immature self centered vindictive narcissist. You even said shes really young so I dont even wanna know how that whole thing is working out or why you're in it in the first place. You need to run from her an never look back. Let her go. You're literally wasting your time.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Dimitar, if she left you, let her contact you. I'm not sure she is a narcissist, but if she's acting so erratically, she could just be confused. DON'T contact her, and if she keeps treating you this way, go NC...

@Therobbijamesshow 4 ай бұрын

Thanks for this video - explains so much when it comes to her texting after she broke up with me.

@RinChan-qq9dx 9 ай бұрын

This was so relatable

@Matt-st5ty Жыл бұрын

I didn't know what no contact was so started the journey late, but can vouch it's worked in some way. We broke up around Christmas, I found Coach Lee a couple weeks after this and started watching his videos. She had reached out a couple times and we were talking, she offered me friendship, we met up a couple weeks after for a chat and I told her I wasn't accepting the offer. After 30 days of no contact she's reached out to me, I kept it short and light, joking around, she's said she hoped we can get back into being in each others lives/she misses me etc. I feel like it's too pressuring to ask in what way or to remind her I'm not accepting friendship and would only consider a relationship between us on some romantic level. I guess I just go back into no contact for now and see if she messages again some time.

@karenjohnson5976 Жыл бұрын

How's it going now?

@Matt-st5ty Жыл бұрын

@@karenjohnson5976 She hasn't contacted since, I'm over a lot of the hurt and although I would consider something with her in the future, for now I am now enjoying focusing on myself. I'm decorating, hitting the gym, planning a couple trips with friends, planning on learning to drive and getting some therapy sessions. I still hurt sometimes but I can feel myself healing and I'm less hopeless and lost.

@mnhyti Жыл бұрын

Brilliant Lee top notch.

@Rambo4President 9 күн бұрын

She doesn’t have my social media, she doesn’t know my friends, she can’t even see my profile pic on WA. No stories to like, no family she could ask me about. Nothing. I always made sure she could only reach out personally and not to someone else. This is the best thing you can do in a relationship!

@pankajpayal1638 8 ай бұрын

Thanks for this information

@stevetodd9581 4 ай бұрын

Your videos are legendary

@erikhofer5285 Жыл бұрын

I’m going to go through a few of the videos i commented in the past. But i want to start here because it’s weird how this update played out. So me and my ex split back in early October. The relationship we had was pretty good but towards the end it was rocky. She split with me because she felt as if the relationship was fake. I begged, pleaded, paragraphs all the mistakes you could think of. I broke NC a few times after and i think i called her too 😭. I had enough of sticking to something that was ghosting me and not even giving me the light of day. Left her in NC on Dec. 20th and claimed my power back. So now today i see that she’s liked a post on my social. It’s just SO weird this i just viewed this video last night and boom here we are

@amy7478 Жыл бұрын

Your advice is so helpful! Have you ever considered making a podcast? Would love to listen to your advice during my daily tasks 🤩

@RealCoachLee Жыл бұрын

Amy, I have a podcast. You can find it at podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coach-lee/id1570309869 or open.spotify.com/show/1iSf252EmiGi1ER0nazkl1 or coachlee.podbean.com/

@amy7478 Жыл бұрын

@@RealCoachLee Great, thank you!

@sophiastella212 Жыл бұрын

@@RealCoachLee omg. How did I just find this out.

@royromero5329 2 ай бұрын

5 weeks and she wants me back, i told her it could be a possibility but let’s move slow and see what happens, I let the conversation die, now she’s liking all my post

@norswil8763 2 ай бұрын

How’s the progress? Great news, I’m hoping to get to this stage sometime soon🤞

@lexlovesfood19 Жыл бұрын

Hi Coach Lee, I appreciate your videos. I know during no contact, you said we shouldn’t ignore our ex, but I ended up begging for him back and he got upset and said he didn’t know what he wanted. The final thing he said was that “he wanted space and would call when he was ready to talk.” I feel like he thinks I will always be there and want to get back together and doesn’t fear losing me. If I pick up when he calls then that will further prove that. Should I just ignore the call to create that fear of loss?

@isabelfernandes1967 Жыл бұрын

You are great ❤ Thank you ❤

@danielozga8436 Жыл бұрын

Lee we need more videos!!!

@sashaharvey1963 Жыл бұрын

Yes, @Coach Lee it brings a certain calm and peace listening to you

@danielozga8436 Жыл бұрын

Sure. U are s great man. I cant express how much u helped me.

@sidd-wc3vr Жыл бұрын

I've seen red flags from the beginning of the relationship but always tried to deny it and make myself believe, he just has a short temper and that's all! He is not a bad person he just gets too angry and talks shit. If I beg, everything will be fine! I was in complete denial that it was indeed a toxic relationship! Always starting arguments from a very little thing, every arguments ending on breaking up, saying everything comes in his mouth, always taking note of little things and burst them all of a sudden, everything was abnormal! He even directly told me "don't expect 50-50 rights. I have 100% and you have 0. If you want to stay you can, if you Don't, your road is open." I stayed with him so It's my fault! Now I want to get over him so badly! I just realised being with him was thousands pain but without him is only one pain! And I can't betray myself and hurt me again.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Sidd. Stay away from him. He sounds very toxic and narcissistic! I know, I've been there too!

@numbandintheend Жыл бұрын

I would’ve given anything to watch this 3 months ago and should’ve implemented it.

@SaarLeestMee Жыл бұрын

Coach Lee can you maybe add a bit info on when you're already after al these break up fases. Contact all the connection and caring treats but still not committing or taking that leap even conversation is tricky cause it might loop back to them thinking you have an agenda or such I do not I have a life a hard one I don't have time for this but we're a year further and I still love him so do want put in some correct effort and communication! Thanks a lot, also for your channel. Grate Belgium

@javaristurner6146 Жыл бұрын

I knew it was best that my ex and I never spoke again after we divorced. She would have NEVER EVER stopped trying to get back with me. And/or she would have resorted to manipulative behavior when she realized I wasn't going to acquiescence to her desires for rekindling of the relationship or even friendship. She attempted to do this via text because I refused to speak with her on the phone after our divorce. Ultimately I chose to change my number altogether so she didn't even have this avenue of reaching out. Furthermore, it relieved me from even having to see her messages and efforts to continue trying to manipulate me.

@herenjim2849 Жыл бұрын

Iam a widow but still in school to finish my study...but my ex still disturbing me .. I live your coaching my brother... I'm a Papua new guinean

@Lovelylife8447 Жыл бұрын

Almost 2 months no contact. Short, LDR (2 hours apart)… but I had more feelings for him than anyone I’ve ever met. We had a deep connection and I was excited for our future together. He ended things abruptly and with zero/vague explanation. I’m only commenting to get it off my chest. I’ve cried everyday for the past two months (I feel so foolish for letting myself allow him to hurt me) and my emotions have yet to stabilize, but I have to keep going. I understand, that he’s probably not going to come back and I’m not even sure what I’d say to him if he did. But thankful that God is always working and has a plan for my life. He is always good, even in the storms!!

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

He either found someone else or got back with an ex. Trust me

@unkn0wnr0ckstar Жыл бұрын

I feel this.. we are strong. Hang on girl!!! ❤❤

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Beth, it sounds like he lost attraction for you. He probably met someone new, or is seeing an ex. Give yourself TIME, and do not contact him. Good luck to you always. ⚘️

@davidpeterson9930 2 ай бұрын

Two weeks after the breakup and NC, my ex sent me a package of sentimental things like letters from years ago. She included a note that said "I'll always love you xoxo i'll remember our best." Also sent a text saying how she'll never need to contact me again and she wont block me in case I ever need to reach out. Recognized the bait and kept silent. Thanks coach lee.

@v-feathershillvfh563 Жыл бұрын

I was broken to pieces,my good muscles fades and i turned into Bones when our love is fading..and she seems enjoying it. The best part is "Now its my turn,She cant hurt me anymore unless she hit me with Guns & Tanks"

@guillaumearnoldlewis7380 Жыл бұрын

After 4 weeks no contact she messaged me, very upset. Mad because I did not reach out. I got excited and tried to rekindle. Two days later she says that she doesn't want to be with me. That hurt so bad. 😢😢 I was doing so well for the past 2 weeks.

@hannahdavis9560 Жыл бұрын

I don’t know how to not be friends while having positive interactions while co-parenting while trying to get him back

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Hannah Davis, since you're co-parenting, you both should be kind to each other, (casual), and keep it civil. It's hard when one of you is still in love, but you must show the child your attention. God bless you both.⚘️

@NJR1221 8 ай бұрын

Just move on and work on yourself. If they come back they come back, if they don’t, just forget about them, life goes on.

@sidd-wc3vr Жыл бұрын

Coach, I know you get a lots of comments every day. Don't know if you will notice it or not. Last year at this time he ended our 5 years old relationship and I went on no contact for 1 month. Exactly on day 30 he did came back and we started the relationship again. But to be honest instead of getting better, the relationship got worse and worse day by day. He left me 2 weeks ago! But now I don't know if I want him back or not. Maybe I Don't cause I'm realising I was in a very toxic relationship. Now I want to move on so badly but it hurts! He broke up with me saying "You are my dog and I'm your owner so you have to listen to my order". Of course after this words my self respectless gut also doesn’t wants to be with him anymore. Now I need your help to move on.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Sidd, Follow your GUT FEELING...HE'S TOXIC. GET AWAY FROM HIM ASAP!

@karlosx8 Жыл бұрын

I moved to Canada from the UK for my GF of 3 years, she left me 3 days ago. I'm now alone in a studio apartment with no friends and a job I hate doing WFH for the VISA to be here. We did everything together. we played video games, watched anime, went camping, made it through covid long distance. but being here we grew apart and I pushed her away because of work stress and anxiety, I wanted to save the relationship but she didn't in the end. the day after she dumped me I had a final call to tell her I don't agree, I think we're amazing together, begged for one last chance, but I respected her decision and she said she just wanted to be friends. It's day 2 of NC and I'm in so much pain. no eating, no sleeping. everything reminds me of her. this is the hardest thing I've ever been through and I hope with everything I can get her back, but it all feels so hopeless. I appreciate your videos coach lee, I basically have them on repeat. they give me a bit of hope in this incredibly dark time

@lessthanprogaming5506 Жыл бұрын

I feel you man! 3 months into my break up now, after 10 years of what i thought was an amazing, loving relationship, then she just left me like i was a shop she was bored of being in, the pain is so hard, i went through the no eating part too, got to a point where i thought i was coping but had a really down weekend 2 weeks ago, had a bit of a break down for 2 days! I hope you heal my friend! I hope you find yourself and live your best life! Onwards and upwards

@karlosx8 Жыл бұрын

@@lessthanprogaming5506 same to you bro, I'm in a slightly better place now but it's still super hard. hope you heal and move on to better things man, sorry to hear about that

@pyro.x Жыл бұрын

@@karlosx8 are you doing better? I’m in the beginning stages of this

@karlosx8 Жыл бұрын

@@pyro.x so much better, stick with NC. it works

@herenjim2849 Жыл бұрын

God bless you its working on no contact..a chemistry student at University of Papua New Giunea... Thanks...

@lachlanjacques5917 8 ай бұрын

Day 1 of no contact starts today. I just failed my last test tonight.

@salahuddinmuhammad3251 7 ай бұрын

often exes are exes for a good reason. There are reasons to leave, break, and move to move forward. share time with those that are good for you. If one knows their self-worth, rebuild they rebuild their lives. It is freeing.

@Meyouletsgo Жыл бұрын

5- was there I got mad when they reach out like nothing happened I had questions so we got into argument and fight !!!

@luismongemora2190 8 ай бұрын

Starting the no contact method today. We broke up and she is with a guy now.. working on myself and just waiting to see what happens, but I can definitely say that I have nothing to lose now and all is to be won

@kyoungbare Жыл бұрын

ALL SOOOO TRUE....

@DanielRivera-hi3gn Жыл бұрын

after my ex told me she needed closure a couple weeks later she texted me and accused me of stalking her because i wasn't communicating with her and she said i was acting weird

@donnaquinlan6530 11 ай бұрын

I’m messing up so bad I have this attitude that I’ll show them they didn’t hurt me but he did I’m hurting myself by doing good

@ncfire51 Жыл бұрын

I think true love and I mean really true love never completely dies, you can't turn feelings off like a light switch if they are real, patience is hard, hope is a double edged sword, I refuse to give up on the one I love even if it takes 10 years, sleep is rare, you see things differently, being broken up on your bday by text hurts, and understanding is something that I will never get, but it's the best diet ever I am down 40 pounds

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

Let me guess, this separation was recent?

@ncfire51 Жыл бұрын

@@sloanmagnum5009 yeah January 1st

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

ncfire, to lose someone you love so much is very painful. A lot of people, including me, have been there. My best friend was TIME..I started going out with my friends more often, picked up a hobby, and read a lot. I noticed that I began to feel better as TIME went on. I want you to realize that doing these things will HELP you get your mind off things. Take care of YOU! GOOD LUCK ALWAYS.!⚘️

@ncfire51 Жыл бұрын

@Jann Lewandowski Thank you!! And I know you're right I have been through break ups before, but this one just seems different it's like I am stuck in quick sand

@r.maelstrom4810 Жыл бұрын

When coaches say that every breakup is different, not only is that true for every person experiencing them, but within each individual too. I've been in love and broken up other times before, but never felt like with this last girl (a girl i've met many years ago that i've always liked, an ex who, yes, came back).

@craftlover9702 Жыл бұрын

Excellent!

@CL-sp2yv Жыл бұрын

PART ONE --- Hello coach Lee, - I wonder, why would my now-ex-girlfriend ghost me, and not block me? I had a 4-year long-distance relationship with her. She is from Nicaragua (but now living in Spain, working there illegally as a nanny for a family...) while I live in the US. ---CONTINUES>>>>

@davethechosen 7 ай бұрын

Ex broke up with me and almost instantly slept with another guy. While I was still living there too. I blocked her on everything and went no contact for 2 weeks. She ended up calling me out of nowhere from a different number balling her eyes out. She misses me and wants me in her life but doesn’t want to get back together. I’d never take her back after everything she’s done but it’s all just so confusing

@dmil843 5 ай бұрын

Good for you, man. She did you dirty. She doesn’t deserve you. You should move on with your head up.

@lola7368 Жыл бұрын

My ex left about two weeks ago, but has offered friendship which I’m so upset about.😢 I’m the worst as I keep trying to talk to him, and because I live in one of his rental houses he knows I’ll always be there! I’m having such a hard time and crying everyday! When I see him I am controlling myself in some ways, but I also get angry with him. He’s telling me there’s no way he’ll come back and to hold onto the “L”. Losing him! It’s so painful and when I cry he gets more angry telling me,“there’s never one day that can be normal with you!” Yet when we talk and hangout he’ll call me “babe”, or the cute nick names he’s given me throughout our relationship. If I try and sit beside him and or hug him he’ll tell me no, you’re not aloud. And says sorry you just can’t!💔 We have been in a long term relationship over 10 plus years! Please tell me what to do, cause I don’t want to lose him 🥺😞

@LINHOSPECIAL360 Жыл бұрын

Go no contact

@kerrymillar1267 Жыл бұрын

I feel so bad for you, I’ve been in a similar situation. You need to focus on yourself and let him go. He obviously wants to be around you, he’d probably regret it pretty quickly if you left him alone. But move on for real and leave him alone.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Lola, let him go! This is for YOUR own sake. Take care of YOU...Good luck. ⚘️

@Afternoon99 Жыл бұрын

Hello coach. I broke no contact about 4 times within 2 months. I want to stop thinking about what I should have said because I said everything that needs to be said. I explain to my ex that it’s not only me who did wrong in the relationship. I told him I apologize for what I did and I want him to realize he is not perfect as well. He said there’s no reason to talk. I wanna stop the thought of convincing my ex. I have said a lot and I don’t wanna take it personally again because I broke no contact too many times.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

After Noon, This time, STAY in NC....Also, I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which is fantastic! It has strategies for every situation. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

@Ryuhayabusa.7 Жыл бұрын

Coach Lee, what is your advice for someone that has been through some pretty heavy abuse and abandonment issues? My ex and I have had 2 falling outs, we reconnected 2 weeks ago, and then as of 2 days ago she broke it off because when she gets stressed out she has a meltdown and doesn't think straight. She's a total sweetheart when we are on normal speaking terms, but a very cold person when she's overworked, overburdened, and stressed out. What do you recommend? I have done NC before and it worked after 4 days, but because it ended after 2 weeks I am fearful to get back into it. Should i do NC this time around for longer?

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Isaac Reaper., since you ended it, stay in NC until you get yourself together. Take time out for YOU....

@Ryuhayabusa.7 Жыл бұрын

@@jannlewandowski5540 I did NOT end things with her. She’s broken up with me twice. As of 2 days ago we’ve been split up. And as of 2 hours ago she said she was going to move on and didn’t want this anymore. However, she’s said that at least 20 other times, it makes no sense. She changes her mind more times in a week than a normal person would in their lifetime.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Reaper, go NO CONTACT BUT STAY NC LONGER! Make sure you don't call too soon. IF SHE DOES IT AGAIN, I WOULD PERSONLLY MOVE ON! This back & forth with her is a game. I would leave her and tell her to play games with someone else!

@una-kw2hl Жыл бұрын

...thanks coach I learned a lot..in your video .I do have attachment issue ..I'm the one who broke up with him. But he never ask why or ask to fix it. It's my 3rd time i tried to win his back.. because I felt I'm at fault.. but what happen he blocked me. 😂

@lifeisbeautiful9463 Жыл бұрын

Hi Coach Lee

@RealCoachLee Жыл бұрын

Hi! 👋🏻

@lifeisbeautiful9463 Жыл бұрын

Its been 10 months now that i am in no contact. I blocked my ex for 7months and then when i unblocked him he suddenly deactivated his account. This is our 2nd break ups. What should i do?

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

@@lifeisbeautiful9463 Who dumped who? If you dumped him, contact him. If he dumped you, HE has to contact you.

@donnaquinlan6530 11 ай бұрын

I wander what a good relationship looks like

@xtants10 Жыл бұрын

My ex broke up with me…..and less than 2 weeks she been out to clubs every week. I should keep up with no contact rule 💪🏻

@karlosx8 Жыл бұрын

stay strong bro

@os3688 Жыл бұрын

Not the type of girl u want anyways.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Sysensesz, stay strong 💪

@caru5457 Жыл бұрын

Hi Coah Lee. Ive been watching your vids ever since my gf of 7 months broke up with me a month ago. I applied NC after 2 weeks of begging and pleading. This morning, I woke up and saw an unsent message from her. Should I not ignore this?

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Caru, YES, IGNORE IT.

@stefanantonic8687 Жыл бұрын

Coach, it’s been a couple of weeks of NC, I really feel like she’s moving on, do I stay strong or do I reach out?

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Stefan, STAY STRONG.💪

@user-tn9qw5qc7b Жыл бұрын

3 weeks no contact, been watching these videos non stop, I went no contact the day of the break up. I just found out he started contacting my friends, not to ask if I am okay, but because he wants to stay friends with them. Possible bait ? he has not returned my house key. Again bait. I starve him of my attention this time.

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Daniela Jessup, I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you. It will help you immensely. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

@nesrinvural3800 Жыл бұрын

Over two months since we broke up. He hasn’t done any of these so time to erase him from my mind

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

2 months is a very short time but anyways, yes... erase them

@Jus-Too-Smoove Жыл бұрын

17:24 “A SOCK” not even a pair of socks 😂😂😂

@rosemalone27 Жыл бұрын

But having a friendship meant a lot to ME. And they kept saying they weren’t ready and I was trying to respect it but keep them in my life :(

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

H-2h, friendship DOES mean a lot, however, when a person thinks a friendship will lead to a possible relationship, that's when it can become painful. Waiting for someone who only considers you a friend can be very hurtful to you.

@Sigma2323 Жыл бұрын

Coach Lee and anyone reading this, I went out with my ex for 6 months, biggest emotional roller coaster of my life, and all of a sudden she breaks up with me out of the blue. I was confused for so long until 2 months after breakup, she posted on FB that she has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and Bipolar 1. She posted about how she hates it and she ruins every relationship. Have you or anyone had experience with this?

@simintabriz6784 Жыл бұрын

I have been there. Please and please for your own safety stay away from people with Bipolar and Borderline disorders.

@Sigma2323 Жыл бұрын

@Simin Tabriz I used to watch these videos about getting ex back, will she come back, why did she act this way, etc. Until I found out it was her BPD and that literally explained my entire 6 month relationship. I realized she isn't the normal type of ex gf. This is a whole different dimension of an ex

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

You're supposed to avoid those people. Also, the individual with personality disorder are usually the LAST to find out they have it. Its usually obvious to everyone else

@shawny979 Жыл бұрын

@@sloanmagnum5009 You're so right. I discovered my Ex has it during the Breakup. Twisting words, lying & denying something he knew he said, Manipulation, stringing me along. Etc.. I felt like I was in a twilight zone.

@scottdavies4744 Жыл бұрын

I feel for you. Had the same thing happen. She broke up with me 4 times. Yes I know I was stupid. At the end she admitted she was bipolar. Move on I know it's hard but you will be so much better for it.

@italiancapo7 Жыл бұрын

No contact never works to get her back. It only allows you to walk away with some dignity.

@Originalman360 Жыл бұрын

FALSE, just say it didn’t work for you!

@MsJM0923 Жыл бұрын

I told my husband whom I separated for five months now. I told him, "I am a little disappointed, but thank you for telling me the truth. What is in for me to being just friends with you? If you keep bringing up your break up with your GF and continue to remind me what I did. I guess we need to stay away from each other. This is the best for both of us." Do you think what I said to him is okay?

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Joyce's home kitchen. You were right. I would go NO Contact with him. You don't need/want him as a friend, just move on. Good luck to you! ⚘️

@richardgarratt9497 2 ай бұрын

I wish I had done this , couldn't help myself

@moh502 5 ай бұрын

You're a saint

@whoismorenoz7111 Жыл бұрын

I saw my ex when I was sitting in my car she drove by and went to a store and ik she saw me and I pretended that I didn’t see her and after she left and came back around drove really close to me to and later she texted me saying that she saw me and was thinking about stopping and taking to but that it wasn’t a good idea because she would miss me more

@sloanmagnum5009 Жыл бұрын

She merely had a moment. Trust me, it means nothing in the long run. She just wants to make sure she has power over you. Do not entertain her at all

@whoismorenoz7111 Жыл бұрын

@@sloanmagnum5009 yeah maybe she has a lot of moments then because sometimes she texts me randomly and then she doesn’t text me for like a week and she Come to my job one time and then 30 minutes later she texts me and it’s very confusing and annoying 🤦🏽‍♂️

@joantheresecruz9474 Жыл бұрын

Question. she dumped you and then when you meet, you or her suggests that you two hook up and agrees. is that ok? how does that play a role in the getting back together? esp. if you have not yet discussed about getting back together.

@Katy.98 Жыл бұрын

What if my ex initiated no contact? He said that it would be best to just get some space and think about things (stating that it shouldn’t be considered a break only though). Does this already count as no contact or does the real no contact start only after the time that my ex suggested? And what if he reaches out to me after that stated time? Thank you very much!

@jannlewandowski5540 Жыл бұрын

Katy, do the NO Contact for at least 60 days. Wait till he contacts you.