Does anyone else really enjoy Coach Lee's delivery? The clever and impactful pauses, the varied pacing, the expressions and sometimes the sarcasm that can be seen in the eyes. Coach Lee, you could be a fantastic actor!! Thank you , thank you for your knowledgeable, comforting and life-altering videos!! They are soothing to the soul... ❤️

Someone somewhere is searching for u in every person they meet

At first your ex only wants the hard opposite of you, more richer, more athletic and more scarce. However over time they'll want your good qualities in their rebound too, and when they realize they cant have that, their regret begins to arise and intensify

Limerence is 100% legit. I've witnessed it with my own eyes. It ALWAYS ends.

When you said “I’ve never felt this way before,” I fell in Limerence with you.

I’ve experienced limerence twice in my life. I’m currently going through the second experience. Knowing what it is helps a lot! Knowing it will pass. Now I can forgive myself when I think of him, I can accept it and move past it. Limerence is one of the worst psychological experiences you can go through as it wrecks havoc in your inner world and ruins your identity and image of self. But now that I’ve named the beast I can control it. It doesn’t scare me anymore. I’m blessed to have experienced this with comparatively minimal damage I have to say. I pray for healing for everyone going through this experience.

I've been learning a lot about limerence in the past eight months. My husband of 19 years left me for a young girl he met online. He initially had an emotional affair, and I found out. He then flew across the country to meet her so he could determine if it was real love or an infatuation. He came back, having slept with her, claiming he was in love. This was after having only "known" her for a month. He became so cruel to me, and I was a complete mess. I tried to make him move out, but since we own a home together, he stayed for a while. During that time, he continued to be with her, making it clear to me that we were done. He would walk around the house Facetiming her in front of me. He knew how much it hurt me but did not care. He talked to her almost 24 hours a day. I have never seen anyone so obsessed with a relationship in my life. Eventually he moved out one night without ever telling me he was leaving and never said goodbye. He moved her across the country to be with him. He's 42 and she's 18. It's like he's a different person. He has pushed every single person in his life away because they are not supportive of what he's done. What is interesting is that before this, we had an amazing marriage! We were best friends doing everything together. I do not understand how it happened. He even said the thing that you said which is, "I have never felt this way before. She awoke things inside of me that I thought were dead." He then began to rewrite history on our relationship, saying that he'd been unhappy for 15 years. He started bringing up stuff I did almost twenty years ago that apparently he held onto this whole time. I know it is a bunch of BS and he has to rewrite history to feel less guilty for his actions. I tried to tell him that this relationship was not going to last but he will not listen. I do not think you can reason with someone who is in limerence. I think they have to go through the entire event and only when they "wake up" and enter reality again will they see the destruction they've left behind.

I have experienced limerence and it is so emotionally draining, you really do not feel like yourself in this state. The obsessions over that person become so overwhelming you legit CANNOT function and have a normal life. If you are struggling with this please get help. Thanks for another great video Coach Lee

I have literally binged watched you for almost a week. I am going to give lots of advice about breakups now cuz it WORKS!!!! You are the Best Coach Lee🙏🙏🙏🙏

I never respond to videos .... but this video really opened my eyes and made me see a lot of things clearer thank you

All these videos are doing for me is making me realize the guy I thought I'd do anything for is now someone I don't ever want back.

You are an angel! Sent by God for a broken-hearted girl like me to listen to for encouragement. Please make more videos. I need to hear from your advice everyday. God bless u! 🌹

I think my ex projected her limerence on me. Now we're broken up since a month ago. We were together for five months. She said she had been feeling a decline in feelings towards me which she couldn't explain, because she knew I was good to her. I packed my stuff and left immediately. I texted her in the first week after the break up. Nothing clingy, but just to measure the temperature. She replied things were probably better this way and a few other usual clichés. We both had come out of a long relationship/marriage that had ended some time ago before us. Our relationship was short but very intense, fun and sexual. I saw a lot more in her than she in me I guess. Lost all hope by now. One month of no contact since our last text. I think I was her rebound. Something I didn't want to be. Stay strong, my fellow dumpees! Self-worth above everything. At least staying in no contact gives me some selfrespect which I will take with me in the next relationship. And that selfrespect I owe to Coach Lee.

This is honestly one of the best videos you've made, very informative. I entered a relationship with someone leaving a marriage, was told "it was done for a long time". We had an awesome first two months, then finances, then medical issues, kids, cats, moving her out of house and into her own apartment (actually that was first DAY, then things went fast). 7 months later, done. I can see now this 'limerence' in her. How it faded, how she was lost. Understanding and learning is all that will get you through your heartache. Cry, as much as you need. Remember the good times, but do not disregard the bad times. "Fate" ... ha, I still believe, regardless of whether we get back together. It was worth the journey. (edit: 6 weeks, cry every day, still function, still eat. Time has really made me think and it's been tough, but damn I actually needed this space)

I had been enjoying all the videos until this one. This one has caused confusion for me. I had been with my ex for two years. He is a widower and retired. I will retire this year. I was the first person he became serious with after the death of his wife of 40 years. He had been dating for four months when we met. During these two years we have had great moments, got to know each other so intimately and although we are older we could be so giddy at times, laughing so hard sometimes that he and I both would cry while laughing. I was crushed last Friday when he told me, he believed we were on two different paths and he was breaking up. He stated in his earlier years he was always an "asshole" and wouldn't breakup face to face so this was hard for him. We met at a close by restaurant to my house. As we exited the restaurant, he held me in his arms for several minutes because I had began to cry. I wished him well and hoped he would find what he was searching for. He kissed my cheek and said "goodbye" as I was getting in my car. I have not spoken to him since. It has been 5 days. Coach Lee was my life saver 2 nights ago when I found his videos. I had not been eating or sleeping much at all due to all my grieving. That night I listened to Coach Lee about the stages the "dumper" goes through - THAT gave me some hope that I would be okay. Now after seeing this I feel deep sadness again and question was what we had limerence or was it real love? I want desperately to believe it was real love. If a younger person reads this, you may be surprised that senior citizens go through the same feelings as if we are in our twenties, thirties,forties, fifties or sixties. Some ways I think it is much harder for us since these are supposed to be our golden years.

I've binged watched the past 20 videos of his. This has lifted me so high

This video hit me pretty hard. Just thinking back through everything. Almost hurt to listen to. But I needed to hear it. Thank you.

Coach Lee, let me say that everything you said is truth nobody explain the way you do, trust me, you are the best coach ever I heard here.

Coach Lee, I told all my friends about you since you are so sincere and you really understand what people go through.

I listen to your videos everyday, and I ALWAYS feel good about myself knowing I'm doing great without him. You have done sooo much for my mind & heart...Thank you for being YOU!!

Wow!!!!! I wish I knew about this before I got married after only knowing each other for a couple months. Now we’ve only been married a little over a year and in the middle of a annulment!!! Thank you coach

My ex wife is going through this now. I fucking hate her.

My ex definitely seemed to be addicted to the chemical highs and thrills of pursuing new things and diving into fantasy relationships or so on. Not quite sure if that would be limerance, or maybe our relationship itself was only running off of that (lasted about 5 months), but the moment things got too stressful (without telling me) she abandoned me and rapidly replaced me. If anything I feel sorry for her because she's basically just being a slave to easy escapes and rushes that are fleeting. And maybe I was just being used as an anchor or crutch - I guess I won't know unless we talk again. But it's helped teach me quite a bit and it's what eventually led me to these videos to have a better understanding of what might be going on and what happened. Life's rough and it can be all too easy to just try to run away from adversity or stress and pursue emotional highs to feel good and push those stresses aside. But part of the beauty of real relationships is that you get to co-op run through life together with a partner, and you don't have to rely on fleeting temporary highs that often come with terrible crashes and lows. You can go through those lows and still have someone supporting you, and once you get out of the tunnel and back into the light those highs will feel even better for enduring the hard times. Sucks that it seems a good number of people just don't really learn unless they crash and burn in their pursuit of chasing constant highs.

I was dumped after a 17.5 year relationship. He said he didn’t feel the same about me but I had a feeling there was someone else as he had written a poem online about her. I confronted him and then he dumped me the next day saying he didn’t feel the same about me anymore. No sorry no nothing. We loved each other so much and had such an amazing chemistry and have both been through hell and back with life stuff such as cancer, deaths of parents etc. I have found the break up so hard and felt like ending it some days. It’s been 2 months since the break up and today I found 2 poems online - he has been dumped by her. I never truly thought 100% it was someone else. I can’t believe he could have ever done that to me. The poems are so beautiful and show how much he loved her. Every single bit of pain has come back today I feel so betrayed and so alone. I feel so unloved and that everything was a lie. I started to get to a good place and now the pain is back 100 times worse. How could I get someone so wrong after 17 years. I feel so utterly heartbroken.

Thank you, it does make much sense now, I thought to be insane... just in limerence... thank God!

My ex got married after we broke up 3 months. But he still asking about me to some of friends. Lol haha. I stayed no contact. Because i know he married just to hurt me,and I know he still wants me to chase him. Never! But I still watching you here Coach Lee,I love the way you speak. So handsome and smart.😊

i hurt my girl, and we broke up 2 weeks ago- it was long overdue, and i know that we were the first love and were together 3.5 years... but we are not right for each other anymore. anyway, a friend told me that he saw my ex leaving her uncle house with another man just 2 weeks after we broke up! i was so calm because i now realize she is the kind of person i suspected that would do this- i told her that i know that- and was very collected and calm- and i just had to know if there were a chance she cheated or started it before we ended things- she told of course not. but it doesn't matter- after i knew this, i realized i don't want her back, ever, because she is not thinking clearly when she is hurt- and that is the main reason leading to the break up. after all this- you have to know where you are- i mean take your time... don't let your feelings get the best of you! only after you have taken time for yourself- then its time to decide if you need her in your life.

Mind blowing video. I’m pretty sure after watching this that I’ve never been in love and have only experienced limerence.

I can relate to this video so much! Thank you so much Coach Lee! I love your videos and i binge watch your videos everyday! As every words of this video matches to my situation right now. It hurts a lot when you were saying all this Coach, but that's the truth and I have to accept it. I will never take her back if they sleep together. I'm still loyal and not sleeping around. I have way better options than my ex right now but I honestly loved her with my everything and if she can do it just because of the dopamine shit addiction then I too deserve someone better than her obviously. If she ever contacts me and if I ever get to know that she got married or is sleeping with him or have a life with him in the future and eventually if she wants to come back to me for whoever I am, (I survived a suicide attempt for her) I'm going to send her this video and will be done for good. Hope she finds her limerance and dopamine shit somewhere else. God bless you. Thanks for opening my eyes. 🙏

This is 110% true its mindblowing.

This arrived right on time damn. Good job well done Lee.

Oh, wow... I think this is what I felt for my ex... I was addicted to him and spent WAY too much time w him from the moment we met...

Now the real question : Is it worth it going back with an ex that had intense Limerence in the past ? Meaning it can happen again ? It's way too scary...

I’m in Limerence with Coach Lee

Hi Coach Lee You hit the nail on the head with this video. My wife of 17 years was planning with her LO to leave me and our 2 young children. 9 months later she is still obsessed with him but it is slowly wearing off. It takes huge resolve and committment and understanding to stay with a spouse in this situation. Always play the long game if you can. Stay calm and try not to be reactive if you can. Thinking of limerence along the same lines as addiction helps to get you through. They will say terrible hurtful things to you that may seem unforgiveable but if you truly love them hopefully you have the courage to go on. Thanks Coach Lee

I struggle with limerence.... I had begun to believe that limerence was this terrible defect in me that I needed to get rid of... Thank you for letting me know that the limerence itself isn't bad~ It's what I do with it that can be good or bad. Thank you for helping me better understand it and its purpose.

I think my ex is going through limerence. We broke up about 2 months ago because she started having "feelings" for someone else. She felt extremely guilty for the breakup and now she's a month in a rebound relationship. I know that in our time together we loved each other, I have strong hope she will come to her sense and come back.

Man is all over it yet again! Coach Lee has the key to sanity.

OMG, this is really what's happening to us for 5 months now. I quit and started with No Contact for more than a week now. She's in LIMERENCE. I'll just patiently wait while improving myself.

So glad I watched this before I even possibly find out my husband is going to be "in limerence" with someone else. I'd probably go nuts but thanks for telling us viewers we're no match for it and we just have to back off and work on ourselves :-) I don't think smart contact will work on our situation as we have no kids and I don't really care about his "properties". My family has my back :-) Again many thanks!!!

@coachlee This video was painful to watch yet I thank you for being a much needed therapist in my life. I'm now questioning my entire relationship. I thought it was true love, love at first site, my soul mate, the love of my life....but now I'm feeling that maybe I was used as the limmerent. And here I thought I was doing all the right things by applying the no contact rule. My heart is literally broken into a million pieces all over again. 💔 I wish so badly that I could have just 1 personal coaching session with you!!

He can keep her. No thanks.

You can't know if you truly love someone until you have had time apart. You might think you want to love someone because your attracted etc, but you know you love them after time apart and feel the hurt from possible loss. Why exes come back to a long term relationship. Taken for granted.

best coach ever, I have learned so much and got my friends hooked on his videos.. keep it up coach Lee.

My ex in 7 years is in Limerence now and when he wake up one day he will never find me . I will never ever get him back. Thanks to the Father Almighty our Lord Jesus Christ and thanks to your videos they helped me a lot in crossing this rough and uncomfortable road of life. I believed his limerence would end very soon, I felt it.

The first time someone has explained limerence that I've seen and it is what I've been going through but even after my breakup. The label helps very much. It's a thing!

Finally! A video I was able to relate to. Although never knowing the correct terminology for it other than stubborn/rebound. Thanks Coach Lee.

He really captured most of my adult life. Just knowing what limerence is, will help me so much in the future.

Coach lee...u r talking about my husband of 18yrs right now. I hav been watching u faithfully since I found ur videos. He was an addict when i found him. He was looking for saving when i found him. He was married for 10yrs then & was falling out of limerence & coming off of hard drugs & looking for his way out. Insert me, at work..we started talking. Now, we hav been together for 19yrs & married for 18 & hav been seperated for a little over a month. He has always said me & my 3 kids saved him. In those 19yrs this is the 5th time he has done something like this to me...this is the 3rd time involving another person. I belive now after watching this is becoz when things get tough he is looking for that high again. Plus, he is bipolar & add/adhd. I still want to continue to work in our marriage...18yrs is a ling time to throw away. Ppl throw marriages away too easily nowadays & get divorced. But i refuse to b the scapegoat for him anylonger! I just PRAY he dont file. Id like to take ur coarses..but i am disabled, currently refiling for disability & hav no money. He has moved out. So alls i hav is these videos & the insight of what they r bringing me. THANK YOU FOR MAKING THEM & the counceling i am getting on the side (due to the fact i found myself at a weak point with depression & was close to hurting myself over all of his mess), but between all of this...i am becoming ALOT stronger & knowledgeable. THANK YOU AGAIN

“He looks like he’s been beaten in the face with a shoe.” 😂😂

I wish I had coach Lee on speed dial just so he could talk me down when I feel myself start slipping backwards

When you realise you were the limerent object haha hurts :')

I'm the first viewer! Love your videos Coach Lee. They've helped me so much. God bless you!

Went thru this with his 2 yr affair in 14/15. His limerence cost me a great deal of heart ache b/c he would come back, tell me he wanted to give me the love I deserved, tell me he never wanted to see/talk/hear from the OW.....short time goes by, he screws up in his lying/hiding and I found out he has reconnected...AGAIN. He couldn't let the fantasy go. We separated in 17 b/c I wasn't healing fast enough...not long into that...he meets a new woman at a bar, she's from out of state so they are texting/calling constantly. He and I have a wonderful weekend at a B&B, trying, I thought, to put it back together, we get home and 2 days later, I found a hotel reservation, it wasn't for me. Then, in 18, he left, filed for divorce, again, because I was struggling so much with self esteem, trust and believing we could work it out b/c I never felt he was with me b/c he chose me. I just happened to be here and it was effortless to him. In fact, I felt that I was the one on probabation. All this while he is telling me he loves me but is not in love with me. In Dec he agreed to a legal separation instead of divorce(I had felt he would use it as a hall pass), he said, let's take it one day at a time. Rough holiday season meant he spent some time without me/my family so he was telling me he loved me, spending time with me. Come Jan, when I wasn't available for our date, he went out and met another woman, waiting until the judge agreed to the separation and he jumped in and he and she had over a thousand texts in 2 wks time on top of phone calls and seeing each other. I found out b/c he sent a text to me that was meant for her. I thought we were taking one day at a time to see if we could make it work out. He says, we have been apart since last Apr, what I do in my social life is none of your business. I am legally separated and I can see whomever I want. I replied I am STILL YOUR WIFE, YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. We took a trip out of town to see our son.. The new woman and he could not stop texting each other. This was OUR weekend..but she made sure she was injected into it. I believe because he told her that I did not want the divorce so she was going to be sure we didn't get too close. He told her he loved me but can't live with me. She is divorced. Says she just wants companionship, hates sex. But, he can't seem to stop thinking of her so hearing this message made total sense. So when we got home, he said, as he was getting ready to leave after dropping me and my baggage off, that his doesn't have to be our last trip, that he always cares about me, has my back. I said, as long as there is another woman, this ABSOLUTELY our last trip. And don't call me anymore. No more dating. I have been trying to use the no contact but he is constantly reaching out. I just answer his texts/phone calls with as few words as I can but at the same time be polite. I have no initiated any contact myself. I know him, right now, he is angry about me being like this. He wants it HIS way. No more!!!! I can't keep allowing him to play this limerence thing and not make me a priority. We have been married for 44 yrs. Some boys never grow up I guess. So, yes, I am letting him fail at his own hands. Oh, and he is going on a retreat where he is on team and supposed to be helping other lost men find their God, find forgiveness...Hypocrite!!

Holy shit! I've never known that this was a thing! Wow! I believe this is what happened to my soon to be exwife. My mind is blown away right now!

All that you said coach is on point... My ex wife is in limerence stage right now with the other guy. It is true, she does not listen to logical explanation. I keep on saying that if that guy is so great, he would not have seduced you knowing that you have a husband and kid. But she is like an addict. Keeps on protecting the other guy and as if he was better than me. She even had the guts not to see our son for a week now (she dumped me by the way just less than 2 weeks now). It is trully an addiction. I hope the tides will turn soon...

Wonderful to knowledge myself on the meanings of Limerence, I never heard of the word and I have experience the definition of Limerence early April 2019, and let him go, NO CONTACT! He needed to find himself and so let him be, let him be, yes the Limerence object. I didn't make a fuss and said goodbye, no need to lower my standards to his selfish needs, I let him go honoring my worth with respect! I will never compete with another woman or with Limerence, that will be selfish on me, Never! I moved on to higher vibrations of loving me first and foremost!

I saw many videos of people considering themselves experts and picked up thousands of views.. but you sir as if you have some kind of magic..up to the point very precise and very deep..Thank you sir for the golden words coming out of you in your videos.....

Fascinating. Great video. I think I am just getting out of this chemical high. Never really had it before, totally describes my bad behavior.

My ex is in rebound relationship.I watch your vedio.i am so powerful now .you give so much experience for me.thank you coa Lee.

Brilliant information once again. Thanks so much, your videos are very helpful!

My wife lost her job for over a year and she felt so low when she found another job she started having feelings for this man that is married and now she said that she is done

I think that there is nothing wrong with limerence. This is natural and needed. A part of that complicated thing we feel as humans. And I think it is the most amazing thing you can feel. Ah I would give anything to feel that again. But you need to get this feeling from somebody who is equally invested in you.. that somebody who is right for you.. Being aware that you are in limerence is so liberating. You get to be in control of how you feel and gain the clarity of why you are feeling so strongly for someone when that person is not right for you. You gain the strength to take a step back and eventually let go of that obssession and addiction.

Coach Lee...you are always so on point. I don't have any relationship issues (because I'm not currently in one🤣) but you clearly know your stuff. You are such a great resource for so many!! Kudos to you!

Now I finally understood what's happening to me.. thanks coach Lee 🙏

Great clip . I’ve heard about it but never paid attention to it’s content 😆 now I’m more knowledgeable about the subject . Thanks a million coach lee. 🥰

I told my ex i was still in love with him after 3.5 months of no contact. He told me he was with a new person. I have seen her social media page and she constantly posts about him being her soulmate, etc. He began dating her IMMEDIATELY after we ended things, even while we were still texting. He began seeing her. and was "in love" within a month. I don't know if this will last or is a rebound, but I truly believed this man loved me beyond measure. I guess i miscalculated. Although when I asked, he denied being in love, only said he wasnt sure how he felt about her. We made it through possible limerence and I truly felt we were truly in love. Even though we had to break up due to circumstances, I had hope that he would work things out and come back to me. Instead he began dating this woman within what seems like a week. Rebound or limerence. It's a mess either way.

beautiful eyes and great advice

Hi coach! Could you please make a video talking about “Getting used to a relationship and how can I fix this if my ex break up with me for this” I commited the big mistake of get used to mine and accidentally started giving each day less and less attention and love to my partner, I was so secure with my relationship and so distracted with other things that I didint realize that I was hurting her with my indiference until it was too late. For what I’ve seen, this also happens to a lot of people on relationships. Eventually she break up with me, she said that she loved me, but that she was too hurt and sad to continue with the relationship, and that the best for her mental health was to end with it. She said that she needed time and space away from me to recover (she asked me to not to communicate with her for a few months, and she deleted most of our Instagram pictures together, however, she didint block me, she said that she was not going to do that because she was not angry with me, but that she was very hurt), she also said that she wanted to experience other new things in life, and that she feel that she cant do them with me... Im devastated.... I really love this girl, and im feeling very guilty for what I was doing to her, the most painful thing is that I didint even realize it until it was too late 😞 I really dont want to lose this girl... We are both 19 years old. Now it seems that she’s enjoying life without me... she started hanging out with new people, started going to a lot of parties, she got a new hair colour, started doing new fun activities, and even has kissed other guys on partys... However, she also has said to other people that she misses me and that she thinks about me... it seems like she’s in a internal struggle, where a part of her says “move on with this new fun life and people, this guy already hurt you a lot” and the other part say “but you still love this guy...” I think because of my attitude she lost most of atraction for me, but all this time together (almost 2 years) and the fact that I was her first BF still make her want me in her life. The last time we talked (3 weeks ago) she said that she’ll like to reasumme contact with me when she feels ready for it, but that she’ll need months before that happens... After 1 month of NC (I started NC 1 week after the breakup, after 2 or 3 days of begging and pleading), I got an anxiety attack, and tried to reasumme contact with her by asking how she was doing, but that only caused her to start crying and saying to me to leave her alone, that she was still not ready to talk with me, that she said to me that she needed months before that, not just a few weeks, and that she was doing great without me... I’ve been in NC since then... Thanks you a lot!

This is what it is.... now i understand why is that so... all true... now im staying away..

We've had 3 years of relationship but replaced with someone she have met for a month. Now I see her exchanging I love yous in twitter. I just dont know why she loved him already. Im just thankful that im not alone in this. Thanks coach.

My ex is addictive to anything, and yes he loves to make me sick with jealousy, drinks to the point of having a stroke, that was 31 years ago and he got married to a vodka drinker woman. Maybe they are meant for each other.

Wow... I learn so much watching ur videos thank u! 😍

My ex cheated on me with a guy that had less to offer her than I did, physically and emotionally. Couldn’t make sense of it and still fully don’t, but feels like this is the best explanation.

This is exactly what my ex went through. He told me his feelings "weren't as strong as they used to be" and that he lost that "spark". This was both of our first relationship, but I think he set his expectations to an unrealistic point in that believed these emotional highs would last forever. Our relationship was founded on friendship, which I feel makes it more real. When he broke up with me, he still wanted friendship-but I declined a month later after tolerating him messaging me like we were friends.

well here is my situation. I did the 3 months no contact. Today I got in touch with her and found out she is dating someone already the past two months! this sucks, my heart just shatter in million pieces😔

Wow I’ve had two like this over years. They are in love with getting to know someone new it’s incredibly painfully to have endured this thing. They wine and dine spoil you and make them fall in love with them. Both did drugs ie coke, weed, pills I’ve since found out 😲😐😳🙄 they where kinda addicts. It’s a real thing they make you feel so incredible but then fade you out when you fall for them....literally.

Oooh yeah!! This is the exact relationship ma ex is having right now!!! I ask him if he loved him and he was like yeah and his willing to die for her, all I did was to encourage him to run after what he wants coz I really ran out of words!! I was shocked!!!but he keeps giving me mixed messages and besides I love him so am in no contact now but he keeps coming to ma work place to check on me and I got to pretend that am fine but am dying inside, coach Lee, thanks for training me!! I may lose him but am not gonna lose myself running after him

I have loved her since I met her in church in 1994. After her abusive marriage and bitter divorce, her and I began seeing each other off and on for 8 years. No matter what, it’s true love between us but our relationship is totally broken badly.

Coach Lee, I have a very important question that I hope you can answer. All the signs of limerence seems to be very closely related to what people deemed as "falling in love"... How do we differentiate between limerence and love. I now suspect the strong love I feel for my ex was limerence and not love.

Coach Lee thank you so much for this video.. It made me feel better And also make me realize that maybe my ex experience limerence to me.. And then fade after a yr.. Thats why he said he fellout of love

This is how I feel about this girl that finished me back in May...

So they're right. They are really falling in love. Just because they're married it doesn't mean they are not falling in love. If he breaks up to go with his lover, he may marry her. The stats say they won't and if they do it won't last, but I don't see why? If they met someone better for them, it doesn't matter if it's limerence or love. Limerence is how we all start relationships.

This video really helps me to understand my relationship with my cheated hubby.Thanks Coach Lee.May God Bless yr work.

Thank you ..a great channel...a great service and you are so on track

Omg 13:11 my wife said the exact words ! This is my life ! The hurtful things ; it’s pure emotional abuse. Doesn’t care about our daughter just says “she’s fine if we divorce “

my ex broke up with me three days ago. some history : she was sexually abused her whole life by relatives and married a guy who turned out to be a meth head and used to abuse her too. I met her and we started living together and we basically lived together for 4-5 months. slowly she started falling in love with me and would tell me no one's treated me like this in my whole life, which I suspect is true. she shared things with me she hadn't with her sister, who she's closest to. I got her a job and started helping her with her studies and gave her all the comforts of life she could ever desire. slowly she started having psychotic episodes and one day up and left for her place. she kept asking me to come pick her but she wasn't allowed since her parents got very concerned. I backed off. she called me three days ago and we were having a good conversation. then she started crying and said she had lost the will to fight. then said it's over forever. she texted me immediately after that to thank me for giving her so much respect. I called her sister yesterday and asked her how she's doing. she told me she's doing much much better and focusing on her studies. she said that for the first time in her life she deleted her whatsapp which she hadn't even when her husband was abusing her. My friends tell me that it's ultimately a good thing for me to be without her but I'm completely in tatters without her. she's extremely stone cold when it comes to decision making and I'm pretty confident that she won't reach out but then again I don't know. what should my game plan be now? NC is a given but should I try to move on or wait? I truly love her and honestly I'd give up everything just to be with her again.

If you have addictive personality you can go from relationship to relationship

Wow!! I had forgotten all about this term. And it's so true.

My ex bf as of two days ago just learnt how time consuming and physically demanding washing and drying his own clothes is.... He left me for someone he was with from over 10 years ago.... I told him he doesn’t know her but he thinks he does... he hasn’t admitted it but I think he thinks he loves her.... yeh our relationship was in a rut but we hadn’t even attempted to sort it out... I just feel like he jumped the gun. I think he may be starting to see... we agreed for a long time and discussed it that limerence feeling was evil and that relationships always end because people just throw stuff away without trying to fix them like relationships. We were both resentful of a society that treats everything as disposable... I reminded him of this conversation... I might be getting through, he’s at least acknowledging that we talked about that. I’m gonna give him he’s no contact but he’ll be back in a few days (we live together). It’s been really difficult... sometimes I just have to come home to cry... it’s a release.. he hates hearing cos he feels bad... so he should, he betrayed me in the worst way possible.

It all makes sense to me now. Thankyou!

I had no idea about this until I watched the video. On a different relationship matter, I was ghosted by my woman at the end of January and I have to say that the spell she had me under (limerence?) was broken. I was suddenly cold turkey. Ten weeks later I'm 'clean' ;) There's no going back now if she reaches out. Ghosting is the methadone of limerence.

I wish my Therepist would’ve explain it this way to me! I have a “dopamine deficiency”. I “ trauma bonded” with a man 20 yrs younger! Over a year together after spending over $20,000 he tells me he just wants sex, no kissing anymore, & see others. Go back to my husband who’s been doing EVERYTHING to get me back right? WRONG! I love my husband but now feel NO chemistry anymore. What I feel is heartbreak over a douche bag. I’ve done EVERYTHING you say not to do over the last few mths. What I want now? For that guy to want me back SO BAD and have the self respect to say, no thank you. I’ve been applying what you’re teaching. It’s been 7 whole days of no contact. I’ve cried everyday. I asked my husband to watch you & he is. He ordered your break up kit too. I wish he would’ve done no contact in the beginning instead he told me he’d wait for me. I don’t feel anything romantic after a great relationship of 26yrs, 4 kids & 3 grandchildren. WHAT is wrong w/me Coach Lee? Pls help

If my husband was hit by limerence I'd not stop him from his own choices. I beg no one to be with me.. I'm not really confident but I do love myself and I'm great with boundaries and no bs.. if he wanted another, I wouldn't want him regardless.. I'm far too mono minded... He wants some one else, begone....

"you can't compete with limerence". That's exactly what I did. I've been with my ex for 4.5 years. We had amazing times together. There isn't one thing we didn't do together. Of course, we had problems here and there, she had a kid, I had one.. Things like this. Then over some arguments, we decided together to break up. No fight, no scandal, no nothing. After 2 weeks she got with an acquaintance - totally different than me (not a bad guy anyhow, just totally different than me). After a month she told me she's happy, and she had more with him in one month than she got from me in 4 years. I didn't answer to this. We had no contact, sometimes she was writing to me about how amazing and special was everything between us... During this time I didn't say and I didn't ask a word about the guy or about their relationship. I'm just waiting, to see what's happening. But Sir, you are so right when you say that you can't compete with limerence... And I'm not even trying.

This is why I excersize as much as I do. That’s how I get my high. Get a high and a dose of dopamine from something that lasts and there is never a loss, but only GAIN: energy, a tight body , clothes fitting amazing, being fit and healthy.

this video is one of the most useful

Attraction, infatuation, obsession and limerence are terms that are not altogether clear. Perhaps a sliding scale can be drawn between them in order to distinguish what might be normal or expected in a courtship phase and what is dysfunctional. My understanding of limerence is when "love" exists mainly in one's head, divorced from reality. In literature and films this can be seen in the infatuation of Scarlett O'Hara for Ashley in "Gone with the Wind" where the guy is already taken and the fantasies of Madame Bovary which in the end turn destructive to everyone. The film "Adele H" shows how stalking can be part of this process. The whole premise of the TV series running for years, "Bold and Beautiful" was based on the high of falling in love, repeated ad nauseam until all possible partners and combinations were exhausted.

Eight years, and I’m still in Limerance. I am the dumper and on Day 28 of NC. I blocked him. He emails me every week because he knows I’m weak around him and wants to keep himself forefront while I’m trying to get past this feeling. For me, it was love, but I think he’s in Limerance but won’t leave his current relationship. Moving on…

How to stop limerence, how to get rid of it , I know it's destroying but I still go after it , how to come out of it