Do not try to speak about this to anyone that has not been through it. It will be extremely invalidating.

Married to a covert narcissist for 32 years. Lightbulb moment occurred about two years ago. Took me until November last year to leave. It has cost me my home, my children, my pets, my friends, my income, my health - mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. I'm now on medications for extremely high blood pressure. Living with my elderly mother. Seeing a counsellor every week, who told me recently that I still have a long way to go. I'm 61. It's very difficult to start over at my age. Narcissism, especially the covert form, is evil and destructive. It has even left me unable to trust anyone. I used to love being with people. Now I avoid social situations like the plague.

They avoid, " accountability " like its a plague. Truth is like poison to them

No contact is the key to happiness.

Wow. You are one of the few who actually discuss how DANGEROUS these non-people really are. It’s NO JOKE - they ARE dangerous.

Wow. It's important to never give a malignant narcissist the benefit of a doubt. And any sympathy given to a malignant narcissist is like having sympathy for the devil.

This experience has left me permanently suspicious of anyone who appears to be any kind of ring leader.

Narcs are vampires. They will feed off what makes you human for as long as possible. If they realize that you know what they are, they will throw all their little vampire tricks at you at once for one last feeding.

I pray Father God over all of us dealing with Malignant Narcissists. God alone is our refuge.

Yes. DO NOT TRY TO CONFRONT OR EXPOSE THEM. I learned this lesson the hard way too. There is nothing to be gained from doing this. Plan your escape quietly and do whatever needs to be done once you are out and a safe distance away. (There is no such thing as complete safety with these folks but the farther away you can get, the better.)

Only the ones who have been with a narc can understand how perfect they are with changing your mentality. A true torture that would break anyone

I can tell when people are lying. People aren't as good at lying as they think they are. I just play along and let them think they are fooling me. They will continue to lie and get tangled up in their own lies. Watch them explode when they realize they screwed up.

Unless you've experienced it, it is hard to believe. Someone will literally pretend to hate what is good about you, wreck you with negativity, then mimic all things good about you, all the while telling people lies about you saying you were acting like they were actually being. Unless you have experienced this, you would have a hard time even writing a sentence like the one you just read.😢🙏🏽

This is WHY I lived it out for 45 yrs. He died!!!! Thank God, for my freedom. And my Adult Children are whole, healthy and still close to me. Only by God grace could this have happened. Starting over at 71. Thanks Jill!!❤

Yeah, they are crazy. As soon as they know you figured them out they will do everything to ruin your life if you confront them

When it comes to the smear campaign they are absolutely vicious! It's very hard not to respond as people treat you like you strangled their mother, but that's the challenge set before us. It can be a very lonely experience but remember there are many of us having to deal with this evil. You are not alone.

They may threaten to harm themselves. Pity Party is another tactic, they'll cry, emotionally manipulate to get you back. They're truly messed up.

Ill never forget his smirk. I was with my covert narc ex for 8 years, only fully escaped 2 years ago and I'm still traumatized by it all. When i told him i was leaving to a womens shelter because i had noone left in my life who was willing to help me, he gave the most deliteful smile I'd ever seen him give. That smirk revealed a lot.

My mother 100%. A thief, a chronic liar and even her grandchildren know she’s the centre of every drama as she starts it when she’s bored. 65 years old but acts like she’s 12 years old it’s completely insane to watch

I really would like to thank to my covert narc ex-wife for all those 18 years "worth of friendship and loving marriage". I want my 18 years of my energetic youth back. 😠

The we’ll never admit the truth.

10:34 ... My girlfriend was married within a year of our relationship ending... Never waste time on anyone that does not respect you on a daily basis ... Life goes by too fast to be put LAST by a lover ...

Such an accurate description of the narc demon's tactics! There is no way you can be normal or forget having these tactics used against you. All you can do is learn, heal, pick up the pieces of your heart and soul, and move on. 💨

This is exactly what they do Jill, you are SO accurate with absolutely everything you say. People would not believe just how vindictive and disordered their minds are ... it's an extremely horrendous time for the victim. They definitely want to totally destroy your life in every way they can. It's hell on earth. They are terrible people, once they realise the game is up and you've seen through them. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Thank you for putting this information out there. ❤❤❤

I have so many narcs in my family. I had to move far away and rebuild my life with the new knowledge I have. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just as soon as we get away from the narcs!!

True, narcs intuitively pick up on the energy shift of others when someone is pulling away from them. They will question them by asking "what's wrong, are you okay? or say things like, you look angry or sad". Some wil go to the extent of commanding you to smile. I've had this happened to me.

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it

I can feel their fake tears coming down. Excellent Job Mrs. Wise!

As you say, a mental ward, a prison or a cemetery! That's the truth of what they want for you! It's so very Sick and shocking that a person who has put you through hell already has this agenda. Please be careful all you women out there, that have ended a relationship with a narcissist. 😢

Wow! Each and every behavior were spot on. Fortunately, my husband died and it ended. But of course, he left my daughter and I with bills and problems.

I divorced most of my family 20 years ago because of their narcissism.. now, my goal is to outlive them all!

If you go through the comments there is a distinct pattern that victims of narcissists refer to their abuser as being evil, demonic, possessed & being spiritually vile because they're genius's at bringing out the primitive & dark self destructive side to our inner self. A narcissist's selfishness & need to control while also appearing to be the martyr will make it absolutely necessary that they stoop to a level that they lie in court , lie to the authorities & lie to anyone else in your life & then sit back & revel in the tormented behaviour we exhibit when their "use & then abuse" tactic gets force fed in our face. That's why even though we know deep down that the narcissist literally wants us to suffer from mental illness , lose our freedom , or have us be so overwhelmed with despair that we die , we have to remind our selves that the narcissist is nothing more than a obnoxious infant in an adults body that has no redeeming qualities & by continuing to take care of ourselves & genuinely continuing helping others (it's alright to take some time to heal first & get some personal positive momentum going again if necessary first) the narcissist will fail at making us into our own worst enemy.

Very true. She left me without the kids, house. She had no issue just kicking me out of my home. Heartless is an understatement. Now I got her to let me stay in the garage while I find something. It was good seeing my kids again.

My ex wife is 100% this . Everything you said, she did. I never thought I could allow myself to be used and abused as much as I was. I’m still trying to get my life back. And trying to maintain steady contact and communication with my now grown children has been a challenge. She fully used me and then used my children as pawns in her game. She told me “I will destroy your life” and other such control tactics. I tried to get away from her in the beginning too. She pursued me , seduced me, locked me down and tried to ruin me. And still my children’s well being and best interest are all I’m concerned with . I am 54, good looking, and have a career. However I will not date at all until I know my children are fully grown and in solid shape. My life turned tragic when I fell under the control of a covert narcissistic psychopath with tendencies of manipulating people and using violence or virtue signaling to get her way.!

I went through all of these things with my ex. Thank the Lord that He rescued me from all of that garbage. I am blessed now with a wonderful husband for almost twenty years.

This woman is so on point. She just literally described my 8 year marriage. She left me penniless and turned my son against me.

Narcissists are the children of two devils, two vampires, or any combination of the two.

Mine unfriended me on Facebook,then a week later blocked me for good measure. I didn't even let them know I knew.

They are pure evil

He's already dead in the eyes and hearts of our children, and I did everything possible to prevent that. He brought this on himself. If God is with me, who can be against me?

So accurate! 💯 Viewers listen carefully.

I am exactly going through the end stages of the goal of these people. I have had every single thing that you’ve talked about done. In a mental hospital, prison or a cemetery… all of the above. They exhibit 💯of these characteristics and believe that is what I deserve. They are stalking me even here in my social media sites that I follow. I’m isolated and they are still trying to achieve their goal of me being in a mental hospital, prison or a cemetery. I was homeless for a year and managed to pull myself up and secure ( tenuous) employment and a place to live. I’m so grateful for a few people believing me and finding therapists like yourself here. Anyway thank you and your followers who share their stories with us…

Hold your ground!! My friends turned into his flying monkies. I still held my ground!! It was a tough ride. I cried in private .... but i got through it. Physically bullied Car window smashed Smear campaigns I got everything thrown at me! Armour up your self worth!!

This is exactly what we're experiencing with my sons girlfriend. Shes controlled, manipulated and isolated my our son from his friends and family, and now that we're close to getting him out of the relationship, shes a threat to our family. Her MO is to report families to social services with false allegations. Our life has been an absolute nightmare since she's come into our lives!

Leah, I was in the same type of situation as you, only it was my father, who was a malignant narcissist. I lost 25 pounds being his round the clock caregiver when he had a terminal illness. I was gentle, kind, patient with him, and I did everything for him. He died 15 years ago and I haven't recovered yet from his abuse. He had hundreds of ways to hurt me and make me look bad. He told my 43-year-old nephew nephew, also a narc, that I was hitting him (not true), the nephew then called Adult Protective Services and I was investigated for "elder abuse"!!!!! Of course the case was closed when they found out what kind of person I really am, but the damage had been done, because the nephew and my father's narc 82-year-old "girlfriend" told everyone in town that I had been investigated for Elder Abuse. I was with him 20 hours out of every day when he was sick, I'm the one who drove him to all of his doctor's appointments, to dialysis three times a week, cooked for him, etc., etc., and I was in the house making his lunch, when I heard him on the phone telling my cousin who had called from out of state, that he hadn't seen me for years, that I had moved, and that he had no idea where I was. (She had asked about me.) My father got some kind of sick joy out of imagining how I would feel when I discovered things of mine missing. I have been looking for some precious photos of mine that had been in my personal photo albums for years. Just last year, 14 years after he died, I went to England to visit cousins of mine (I live halfway around the world in Washington state), and over in England, they pulled out some photos that had been in my photo albums, that my father had sent to them years ago, photos of me and my friends, and photos of me when I was a happy little girl. My father had taken a lot of them and sent them to various people around the world, without me knowing it, and I don't know who all has my pictures. These were all pictures that no one else would be interested in, my father just wanted to steal something from me. I have NO photos of me as a child, he got rid of all of them. He knew that my mother and I had been close, she had died 14 years earlier, and he got rid of every single photo of my mom that he had in his house, without me knowing it. She was also abused by him. I feel like I want to write to as many people as I can think of, that might have my photos, and ask them to send them to me. He sent people pictures of me and my friends to people who never even knew ME ! I want my pictures back. I have my father's ashes, he was cremated after he died, and I feel like taking a ferry ride and giving him a "burial at sea". It's an hour long ride across the water to another town, and I feel like taking all of his ashes in a plastic bag, going to the side of the big ferry, leaning over the side, and just letting all of his ashes fall into the water and out of the bag (I wouldn't let the plastic bag fall into the water). It's salt water out there, so the ashes would eventually get washed out to sea. I don't think my father really cared where he ended up after he died, but he thought that he was going into a niche at the cemetary where my mom is, the person he abused for 48 years. If I decide to throw his ashes into the water, and I pretty much already have, no one would ever know, as no one in 14 years has asked me where he is "buried", except one friend of his, that was 13 years ago, and I just never answered his question, and he didn't pursue it. Also, I checked, and giving him a burial at sea would be totally legal. It would be my way of getting him out of my life, not that the trauma of his abuse is ever going to go away. This one man who wanted to know where my father is buried also wanted me to send him my father's military records (I don't have them and have never seen them). My father was in the Marine Corps for only two years, and his friend wanted his military records, because apparently my father gave him the impression that he was out fighting in the Pacific Theater during World War II. His friend told me that "he must have seen a lot of fighting, because he doesn't like to talk about it much". I said nothing, but I thought, "Yeah, my father doesn't like to talk about being in World War II and fighting in the Pacific, because HE WAS NEVER THERE!!!" He never did any fighting, in fact, he never left the continental United States! I kind of wonder if his friend wanted his military records to see if my father had been telling him the truth about being in World War II. Malignant narcissists! They are so hurtful, dishonest, and mean. Heaven help us all. 😢😢😢

You have just described the last 16 years of my life. I am very concerned about my safety!

I have been watching videos and trying to learn about this type of person for about 8 years now. And I must say this is one of the best videos I have seen on narcissism. It's amazing how much they are all alike. They all do basically the same things. It's insane.

Not a mistake to expose a bully. Wishing you well Maxwell

To the extent of saying : "No one is going to believe you"

My weirdo new coworker was being icky nice. Offering his home to sleep at because he lived close to the job, trying to buy me lunch, and fishing for compliments. I distanced myself and he didn’t catch the hint he asked me out. I told him no I dont want to ride on your motorcycle, he asked if I had boots to ride so he could take me to a restaurant his friend said was nice. I told him no and walked away. I went to my car and he walked up to my car and said we can take his car instead. I told him I do t want to go nowhere with him in any fashion. He said I was only trying to be nice. Next day he brought me food and a valentine card. I told him I don’t want it. He ignored me and started describing what he cooked for me. I yelled and said I don’t care I don’t want it, leave me alone. He said don’t be like that. I told him he’s being creepy I don’t want nothing from him. He walked to his car. Then came back to my car and told me. He doesn’t date his co workers and he was only trying to be my brother in Christ 🥴. He then said he hopes I get the help I need😩. I reported him and that was the last day he worked with me.

My narc is withholding my daughter from my court ordered weekend parenting time and I have to video record our in person interactions for my protection against false accusations.

Yes they can sense an energy change, i've been pulling away and lately my husband has been questioning what I am doing

That is absolutely correct..When they can no longer control you the Will control how others see you!!!💯🤞🏽

My narcissistic mother did all these things to me. I would give this video a thousand likes so people can be aware and learn how to protect themselves. I sending people to this video! Much love to you, Jill. Thank you!

This deeply resonated with me within the first minute of the video. “The reality is, narcissists and sociopaths are acutely aware when there is an energy shift within us, or when we start to pull away. Even if we are trying to make it seem as if everything is fine, they can usually tell.” Narcissists are particularly astute at noticing when individuals begin to grasp their manipulative ways. This heightened awareness stems from their accustomed expectation that others will unquestioningly submit to their desires and viewpoints out of fear. They figure out that their deceit and manipulation are falling flat when we no longer play along, make excuses for, or tolerate every toxic thing they say or do. Even if we start speaking up a bit or sharing our thoughts instead of blindly following their every word, they take it personally. They are overly sensitive and notice even the smallest changes, interpreting them as attacks. If they can't immediately put you back in your place, they see you as an enemy.

I feel sorry for young men today that are going to get married to a woman that is a covert narcissist. He thinks she loves him, he thinks she is going to be loyal, he thinks he picked a good one, like I thought. Once the amount of babies she wants, the mask falls off. She starts cheating, disappearing and preparing to get his last dime by using the family court system. He does not know what a covert narcissist even is. He will learn the way I did.

Thank you❤ you’re an inspiration and true warrior!

I am sick of their shit!! I called it out!!

I thank Jesus i am away from my husband (working on divorce). My son is a narc as well and these points are on point. May God continue to give us wisdom, support and favor❤.

Jill knows her stuff this is a very dangerous time to be in protect yourself and your sanity at all cost don't play into their games I truly hope that blessings love and light finds it's way back into the lives of those who have endured these kinds of horrible and heartbreaking things from people. great video Jill.🌟❤💞

Wow Jill. You are totally spot on! So many of us targeted exes have gone through everything you so very articulately highlighted. Your videos are very helpful and validating.

Wow! You are spot on with everything. Your words touched my soul. I'm going to take heed to ALL your recommendations. God is using you and your story to save lives. Thank you!

Thanks to your advice and that of others , I carefully planned my exit, left in secret and went dark , communicated solely through lawyers . This protected me from his threats and intimidation. Thankfully no children were involved, and because of his carefully crafted business and social reputation he did not try anything illegal. However I wasn’t totally spared , his smear campaign was viscous but I survived that .

I have a narcissistic sister who has destroyed my image so much in the minds of our relatives that they all think I am a monster and a murderer. Finally, I just got away from all of them.

Thank You so much, im currently in a 11 month ongoing divorce process from a covert cheating coward, its very clear he wants me destroyed. These people are ruthless, if they are even human!?? 🤷‍♀️

I'm smiling because I won and she lost. My mother failed to make me a victim, crazy or dead. My brothers are not as lucky. Best thing is that it's been 5 years and I know she's declining. She has over mortgaged her house for the 5th time and as I'm no longer available to help with her finances, she will probably lose the house! It's been 6 years of no contact but I believe that others may start to see that I am not the abuser. I am the successful one. Actually, I don't care anymore what they see. Including my father who is just waiting to die. Good luck to them I wish them all well. I'll be over here being a survivor. 🏝😎

If she jokingly tells you that you are so eas to be portrayed as the bad guy because you wear your heart on your sleeve, then believe her. She will and probably has already been laying down seeds with relevant people to smear you in the future. Its not a joke. She will. Betray you

Exactly what my family of origin did. Thanks for all your help, Jill ♥

That last part about permanent address: I direct all of you to watch “The Invisible Man”. It’s required viewing for all of us!! We MUST outsmart THEM!!

🔥🎯incredibly succinct Jill ❤ People heed these words, if someone throws shade on another's name, let that be red flag you need. They fight dirty, run!

WOW! All you said was 110% what ive experienced, heard and felt.

This is true. It is unearthly badness.

Holy smokes... these traits didn't hit close to home; it is home! This is my life 😢

Wow! This is spot on!! Exactly everything that I went through with my ex husband when I left him. I got my life together and better than it was, and managed to get cleared of all allegations eventually, and survived, and the kids have disowned him. But I still have a dreadful reputation from his smear campaign. It’s unfair because it’s all lies.

100% accurate .The stages are exhausting and I’ve been through it with two female relatives. When you are a sensitive and caring person, they hone in on your positive vibes immediately. The second time I really kept my distance but the hovering didn’t stop. Both of these narcs have never had successful relationships or married. In both instances the goal seems to be wanting me divorced. My lightbulb moment came when both tried to go after my kids asking for their phone numbers. Just mind blowing. They follow these stages to a T.

Sooo on point! I am 12 years on after leaving him (alive thankfully) and still I can't trust anyone enough to have a relationship again. Healing is slow but I am getting there. Thank you for sharing your wisdom... unless someone has been through a narc, it is impossible to explain or understand it.

So much to comment on here. Everything Jill says here is absolutely true. I found one of the most amazing things is that the NARC tells everyone about HERSELF when she is telling them about "things you did". She could take everything that she did to me, and tell everyone those are the things I did to her. Nothing she did in eight years of illusion was more confusing to me than that. Nothing she ever said or did pulled me more out of reality than being blamed for things that she did. Amazing. I paid all her bills, and she would come back at me as if she was the one who was "being used"...and on and on...the NARC is a very whacky and evil entity. Run away. Thank you for all you do Jill!

My dad hated that i could show any empathy for my cat. He was terrible to the cat. He put her out when it was below 0 F in winter in Montana. My cat got the last laugh she pissed in his snow boots.😂

I am just coming out of this and discovering what happened. I even tried to get myself committed to the mental hospital . They kept telling me my symptoms were physical. I am beginning to wonder if I was drugged. I almost lost my life .

Thank ypu so much. You really explained this clearly. Lots of imformation. Wishing you peace .

Every single word is what I experienced with the 60years old textbook narcissist its really mindblowing accurate. I always had in mind he might be a narc during our 5 years relationship so I was prepared for the lightbulb moment and ended the relationship immidiatley by acting mental ill, depressed and not good enough for him knowing when his toy is broken he will go looking for a new one. It is a quite safe way to leave so I can recommend thus. They will smear you either so what.

My mum has been with my dad so long he doesnt even need to use her as a flying monkey. She does it automatically. Nearly 60 years of emotional abuse and she still thinks he has angels flying out of his butt. I dont blame her as its simply a survival technique on her part.

I suffered under 4 narcs....husband: his mother: a so-called friend: and my father........all wanted to totally destroy me.......but finally I survived, and now understand the pain they put me through was because of their sickness and not mine!

Wow! I’m going through this right now! I guess I made a mistake calling him out & I’ve threatened to expose him many times! That’s when I saw the devil! And what was said at the end,…is spot on! Mental ward, jail or dead, that’s his goal! Fml🤦🏽‍♀️ 28 years of marriage, going through a divorce, and turned my 3 daughters against me! I’m definitely at rock bottom!

I've been dealing with the worst type of Narcissists. One that is also a feminist. The toxic feminist that dislikes men.

My sister in law, who just married my youngest brother. Called her out by saying to my brother to tell her to learn some moral compass

Yes, I am in the middle of reaching out to my doctor this very week for help and councilling, this is one hell of a real night mare.

Yes, they hack into your devices. Yes, they want you to know. I do regret the day I ever laid eyes on them. So, I guess they win.

This cycle describes my entire childhood. I saw through my mother from a very young age. I would stand up to her, call her out and try to reason with her from the time I was four. So things were hell for me but I keep doing even knowing that it made things worse because it was the right thing to do.

Story of Ben Hart's first marriage. Poor guy, but a total boss for always staying positive and real and never letting anyone beat him down

I wish that I could like this video again! Because everything you said is true.💯 This is exactly what happened to me, and when I ask him to leave, He beat me up and broke my toe.🤦‍♀️ Best advice I could give is be careful when you leave them, Have a safety plan. The narcissist never likes to be abandoned. 😢

This is most definitely 💯 right on. 👍 Thank You for all your support and encouragement and enlightenment. 🙏♥️

I'm going thru right now

My mother in law is a maligent narcissist. She has gone full circle and is now back to the love bombing stage. I didn't realize it gets worse the second time around. Luckily she lives two hours away and can't drive. She accused me of taking my last job simply so her son would not be able to spend as much time with her. I sometimes had to work on the weekends. He would cut his time short with her, to spend time with me on those weekends. I loved that job and what I was doing, it had nothing to do with her. I got laid off and now I am trying to get a remote job. I want to do the remote job work on a cruise ship so I can be far way from her. Its interesting she had a couple social circles and pissed them all off so now none of them want to be around her. In fact she has to pay her "friends" in the neighborhood, to spend holidays with them when we are not available. Yet I am the problem. I am the only one that has had these bad experiences with her. Its all in my head..

Geezus you just described my father and my family of origin. I am trying to get away from them all. I’m quite sure my inheritance will be gone very soon. Could he at least leave me something for my therapy bills? 😔

This is 100% a narcissist summed up in less than 20 minutes. I told my mom- "I know I always talk about and try to explain what a narcissist is so watch this one video and you will completely understand what I mean. And anytime you come across a person who gives you a bad vibe think about this video because even if there is a slight possibility they are a narcissist then you need to remember this video and get the hell away from them ASAP".

Boy are you on the mark. These people are such master manipulators that they can make your life a living hell. My experience was bad, but I wasn't entangled enough that the narc could completely finish the job. It was shocking and way over the top given that it was a casual aquaintance. I figured it out and said no and meant it and yes, the narc knew I knew. Certainly judges, lawyers, the police, psychologists and other professionals need to be educated about this, but they're so sneaky that I have little faith in people seeing through them. Now I think I would go by external signs, like involving third parties.

Every thing. Even with a date and often a time of day

It’s amazing how you described my ex. that’s why I divorced him and yet no one believed me, lost lots of friends because of what he said about me. You just said the life I lived for over 10 years, lots of gaslighting too.

The exact accuracy of this video is 🤯 it all happened to me this way with my ex.