If words and actions don't match. RUN

Take the word Love and replace it with Use 😢

They don't love you for you. You is a person they love what you do for them and what they get out of you

When I found out about this womans number I that he said he didn't have, he said he hadnit because he didn't know what was happening with us and she was 'company'. I was absolutely gutted and the thought of him being with her made me sick to the stomach. I've had to make my own closure, and I firmly believe that once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat!! 🍒

This is so me for 54 years of marriage! I was married....he never was! Divorced June 16, 2023 at 70! I pray I will know REAL love before I die. Get out! Do not stay frozen like I did. Best of luck and sincere prayers to others who are trauma bonded. I was like an indentured servant while he sat home cheating and porn watching! I believed his lies. Smooth talker, can be charming and everything looking good til it doesn't! Diagnosed sex addict and narcissist 2 years ago. Holy Cow! I was with him since 17! He was 3 1/2 yrs older. I left a high school sweetheart for this! Four children and my belief in forever families kept me locked in. Recently learned of affairs throughout marriage including 3 of my "best" friends. People WATCH YOUR BACKS!

Jeez I lived this for the last 2 years!! 20 days no contact and it's getting easier finally 😊 Every teen should watch your videos!!

The challenge is they're actively hiding it so it takes something obvious for you to even know. But, I'm a firm believer, when you know, you go because let's be clear, my soulmate would never cheat on me. He wouldn't risk it. We're confused initially because someone with an adult body is saying adult things but they have a child's brain regarding relationships and emotional processing. Plus, their behavior is pathologically sadistic so it's a slow suicide to remain with a malignant narcissist. In Ben's words, "There's not a person out there who can say I love you and still cheat on you." Exactly! 💯 Choose you. Choose love. 💞✝️❤

3 days prior to moving in with the new supply, he texted me he love me always ..smh sick

Love is a Verb... ❤

Yes, this happened to me so many times. Biggest mindf##k ever. Thank you for clarifying this.

Narcissists throw that word around way, way too much. And with anyone that they need something from. I love you to get sex, I love you to give me money, I love you to believe my lies, I love you to not abandon me... Love only should describe deep feelings and endless joy for someone. But, no, not for a narcissist and do not EVER expect them to learn what the real meaning of it is. That word is the golden ticket to them to get what they want out of people in this life. Don't believe they feel and can give you the real meaning! Never, Never, Never, Never, Never

Y’all. This man asked to marry me. I said no because he will ask and then have a woman in his bed the next morning and act like he never said it. He said he’d prove it and asked if we could take a trip together the next day. I went to pick up his daughter the next morning and there was a woman in his bed! I stayed calm and left, respecting the woman. I let her sleep. Lol. But when I came back and she was gone I tried to talk to him and he kept playing like he’s sleep. I grew a cup at the wall and told him all he had to do is LEAVE ME ALONE. Do what you want but leave me alone. He cussed me out so bad. Told me I was lying. Said he never asked to marry me. Said I was crazy. I threw a shoe at him and told him he could go to hell. I turned to leave and he picked me up by my neck, dragged me out the house and literally threw me off the porch and on the ground so hard, I almost hit the neighbors house. Then he called people and said I hit his daughter. His family cut me off. I was so traumatized. We were BEST FRIENDS. Before anything, we were supposed to be friends. I cut him off though and I never looked back. His guy best friend died and his children were so worried and asked me to reach out to him so I did. And he said he loved me and that he would call so we could meet and talk. I said ok. But I knew he’d never call. And I knew I’d never meet with him or speak to him again. And we haven’t. It took me a while ti even get out of bed after that happened. I’ve never been so hurt or so betrayed in my life. I’m great now. You can get through this!!!!!!

My husband says that he put me and our kids as the priority while he has been sleeping with other women.

Or they suggest having a baby, tyen dump you 2 months later for no obvious reason.

I just found out today baby #2 is on the way, at least that I know of; thank you for your page- it’s helped me understand some!!❤

Ben can I ask you why a narcissist don't know there a narcissist but are scared of getting exposed. So if they don't know there one why they scared of getting exposed.

So helpful. Amazing. Thank you.

Ben, love your content it has shed so much light on what I am going through. Can I make a suggestion tho, can you change he into they/their as my experience is with a female narcissist. I find the “he” off putting. Just a footnote. Thank you again for the information, insight and understanding of the person I am dealing with.

Narcissist always say the love you.because of controlling situation.my narcissist text me and says she loves me all the time.what I have done?I discarded her 4 times in a row.Make her feel that. She is in tears all the time.all I do is sit back and watch her feel what I feel.Narc free guys.i am strong enough. You should do the same way😂

Words don’t mean anything, men will tell you whatever if they think it will make you stay longer, words don’t cost anything, so why not? That’s why you should ignore words and look at actions instead, all saying “I love you, while sleeping with someone else” means is, I want multiple sexual partners.

Well done, very helpful, thank you!

Thank you for your insight.🌸

In regards do I believe his words or do I believe his actions always go with his actions because if he says he loves you? That is a verb you act love if he doesn't show you love and his words don't match his actions big red flag.

My narc is female but this is identicle. I see a lot of the same behaviours in multiple people who were abused when young. Are you open to telling me if that is something you expierianced ? Did what the traumas you expieianced create the thought proscesses? If so Have you looked at the events and what they told you about you that was not true? Im an survivor of an long on and off relationship with a covert . And studying psychology. Looking to undestand more about my expieriances and what creates this mindset in a human. Being empathic along with things ive noticed ive seen and felt both the truth and the pain projected on to me. It is amazing seeing inside the mindset. Thank you. I had thigured out most of it. But this fills in blanks. Big time.

America has became a sexually depraved society unfortunately …..men are the ones who do it ….you said this in one of your videos ….I have learned about sexual fantasies in men and it’s pretty down scary ( DSM style )

All this but I think people get too hung up on their personal definition of cheating. And you have touched on this in other videos. It doesn't have to be physical cheating, or even emotional cheating. It's that deep betrayal that actually causes the dissonance, which can come from lying, or other repeated deceit other forms of abuse such as financial, watching them abuse others which takes them out of the character you thought they were or they portrayed to you. Honestly I think for me, physical cheating would have been easier to digest, as opposed to the erosion of daily drip of offenses that I was constantly uncovering. I think it's that drip (lie) drip (missing money) drip (another lie) drip (find out about taking advantage of someone else while they are portraying that they are a good upstanding person that can cause relationships drag on for decades based on false substance and ultimately cause cptsd and gad.

Hi Ben, I truly thank you for your channel on this extremely important topic. My question is; Is it safe to ask the narc their definition of Love without getting into a battle?

Misogyny