Single parents understand commitment better? WTF? Why are they single parents, then?

Finally! This is the first video I’ve seen where someone had a rational, mature outlook in what it’s like dating a single mom. That says a lot about your character too.

I'm in a long term relationship with a dad. I'm child free. I struggle a lot :( I cry a lot. resentment and thinking of everything I'm missing out on hurts

having kids doesn't automictically make you mature. A lot of parents are more immature than their kids. These divorced parents like to use their kids to get back at each other.

there's a lot of issues but they are also just people that need to be vetted properly. just because a person doesn't have kids from previous relationships doesn't mean they're relationship material. great tips.

Being a single parent doesn't mean more maturity. Was married to one and I'm more mature then him and his kid combined. Left that toxic situation.

Only rule for dating a single parent if you have no kids: DO NOT

Being a parent doesn't necessarily mean one understands commitments or is mature.

Being a parent does not teach somebody commitment.

That was great advice. Ask the questions. Are you emotionally available? Do you have time to develop a relationship? That’s straight to point...

Another question to ask yourself is if you can deal with lack of boundaries when it comes to the kids. They are a priority, however they need to understand the world doesn’t revolve around them all the time. Kids crawling in bed with you? Set boundaries. Kids interrupting your conversations? Set boundaries. The truth is, relationships (and marriages) don’t last if you aren’t making each other a priority.) If you mention the lack of boundaries, the response is “Don’t tell me how to raise my kids”... (code for I’m not sharing that part of my life with you, and you’ll never have a say in anything having to do with the kids) That is BS. I’m never dating anyone with young children again.

Being with someone that has kids isnt the hard part. And we have the kids all the time. However, coming second to an ex because shes the mother to one of his kids and he still has feelings for her. Its not the kids. Its his feelings for his ex that he still hasnt got over.

Hot tip: Before going all in with the single mother (if you can) go grab a beer with her ex and see what kind of guy he is. Then you'll get a better view of the situation rather than only taking her word for the reasons he was at fault for their breakup. Then reflect back on what and how she blamed you for in your breakup. Of course, work on your own issues and learn. This goes both ways of course - single-mother/father, guy/gal, he/her.

I just got done with a relationship with a single mother of 2. And I was able to give her all but 2 weekdays and half of a saturday 2x a month. She seemed to want more time than I could give and we werent even married, so I think its also good to know that some people have unrealistic expectations and need to also examine themselves.

I am a single Father of 4. My Girlfriend is a widow with 3 boys. I grew up with a Single Mom The worst feeling I ever experienced was when one of my Mom's boyfriend made me feel like a Burden. Never will I make my Girlfriends boys feel like that. When dating a Single Mom. You are also dating her Children. You have to be a Father Figure to her kids. Otherwise get lost. You have to love her Children Unconditionally. You must also remember you are not their to replace their Father. You are there to be a Father type role in their life with the mind that they have a Father(Not every case). Never speak bad about their Father. That will tear down their self esteem.

Appreciate the content boss, this video gave me that little nudge that I needed that if things never work out between me and the mother period my life technically isn't over.

Thank you David. This was very helpful to hear. I wish I could ask you more questions about my specific situation, but I'm sure you're a busy guy! Much appreciated.

i really dont understand the whole, their kids come first concept, surely they should come first and then alongside of that, your loved ones(Family/partner) you cannot put your kids #1 and sacrifice your relationships with your other loved one's.. in that case, just like you put your kids on top priority, shouldn't you be doing the same with your parents who probably also sacrificed a whole lot and put you first in their lives?? How come that does not happen most of the time.. i think you should always put you first and then your partner and kids come hand in hand, coz it's not fair on your partner to feel like they are the 3rd best, your kids/parents and family/then your partner.. now how is this fair???? I just don't get it. Can someone explain this concept to me.

DO NOT EVER date a single dad or mom. I dated a single dad and will not wish that on anyone I know especially if you are single and childless.

Thank you for this, excellent tips (as usual)!

I love my ex girlfriend I broke up with her this week because Her two year old is very annoying and autistic, I just got stationed in Italy and I’m about to turn 23, I wasn’t ready to give up my freedom/experiences to be with a child that’s not mine. It was rough since we both love eachother

Thank you for this information 🙏 very helpful

Great video David!

Rule 1) Never date a single parent. Rule 2) See rule one.

I don't wanna be a co parent. I need to let her go

My brother is 57 years old and just got full custody of his 6 month old baby...he had a kid with a thirty year old gal who was not fit to be a parent according to CPS. He is really enjoying being a single dad but misses being with a woman companion.

why do you want to be second choice in someone's life. are you that desperate? don't date luggage partners, you will regret that

I’m in a relationship with a single dad with 3 kids. I am having issues with his 6 year old son disrespecting me and the dad is allowing him to do that. Also, at times at feel like I’m put at the very bottom of the totem pole while his kids are placed at the very tip top. I know that his kids come first in his life and I don’t want that to change but I want to be placed at the tip top as well with his kids. His son is very unruly and doesn’t listen to directions when asked to do something. Any advise?

Wish I had seen this video before I started my current relationship! Thanks for sharing :)

That's it ? I want more

I would reconsider that. Second and third marriages have a way higher failure rate than first marriages. Read about it.

There is often a reason why they are single too. A lot of red flags. Having a kid into the mix is just chaos, then having the violent, jealous ex etc and all that drama. Stay clear of single parents or stay single.

yes true, and they are ready to settle down

Basic formula for place is: # of childrens + Ex + # of pets + living parents = your place.

I'm a 44 yr old Man , I've dated single mums in the past and it's had its ups and downs, ive been single for almost a year and very attracted to a younger single mum who lives a few doors down from me, she has been really friendly towards me lately and I'm not sure if she's interested or just being friendly, she very pretty and there is an age gap of around 12 years and im not sure if I should pursue her or not

So you can only be emotionally mature if you got someone pregnant? Wow! That’s seems like a pretty arrogant statement. How about the emotionally mature person who chose not to have children. It is not always being selfish. It’s having the foresight to: Not bring a child in this world you can’t support, financially, physically, emotionally. Or what if you are focused on your career and you know you wouldn’t have the time needed. Or what if you have a lot of childhood trauma and don’t want to pass on your issues to your children. Or what if you have become sick, ill, or physically unable. Are all of those people emotionally immature for making a mature decision? Obviously, ever case is different. The main question you need to ask is why are they single parents, I.e. what broke up the prior relationship? Did one cheat? Was one physically abusive? Was it finances? Was it different parenting styles? Was it growing apart? Was it different values? Did they look at themselves long enough after the relationship to work out their own issues? Or did they quickly find you as a replacement? The truth is dating a single parent is unbelievably challenging! You have to deal with another parent. Another parent that can be unbelievably emotionally immature. That can be bitter. That can be competitive. That can be passive aggressive. That can be a deadbeat. A stalker. A liar. Financially challenged. You are always going to be the “odd” one out. My advice: date, but don’t live together. Communicate clearly. Be supportive but let them raise their kids the way they want. Have low expectations for many things. If you love the person but not someone else’s kids then try to make it work. Have some sense of independence to balance you out. You will never be someone’s else’s kids parent. If the other parent is a complete deadbeat than this will not apply. But if you are dealing with a shared custody situation, one week on one week off, then it can work.

I really appreciate you saying it the way you said. For single mums or dad's, there is no BS, they put themselves and their kids first. And this is so true. But when you try saying that to a person trying to have a relationship, they think you are not no ready to have a relationship.

I love this video

i’m a prek teacher who’s turning 30 soon and have no kids and i absolutely adore the current man i just started dating. We’re both very into each other, even tho he has kids and he puts them first he understands he can’t neglect who he’s dating too and gives me plenty of love & attention. I love kids and want a few of my own. I’ve never dated a single dad so i have no idea what i’m 100% in for. I completely understand and want the kids to be first and a priority i’ve always been from a very young age a family stay at home kind of girl so i’m not much of a go out and travel and have fun person. I’m hoping my values are compatible with being with a single dad. he’s open to having more children as well.

Thank you

There are more single moms than single dads and so lots of these videos are towards single moms. Another thing is its easier for a woman to date a single dad than a single mom. A woman isnt going to provide financially to a single dad versus a man will eventually have to provide financially to a single mom and her kids because she will look at him side eyed after a while. Also in the sense of protection is that a man can handle his baby mama but the single moms baby daddy might be crazy and then hes coming after you and you have to protect your woman.

Dating divorced mother of 2, and i'm currently deployed and haven't met the kids yet. When i return home, we are planning of doing the introductions, and I'm planning on taking her and the kids to the beach (their first beach trip). I'm good with kids (lots of nieces and nephews) but im worried about how they we feel about me, especially during a vacation weeks after meeting them. I know their father has introduced them to his new gf (some 18 y/o) and they are iffy about her, so how do i handle it if they are iffy about me during a trip away where we'll be living together for a week?

Agreed. What about the availability of a single mom/dad to have a relationship? Especially if they decide not to live together? Not having children doesn't make you automatically immature and selfish. That's simplistic thinking, although I can see the point. What I find is that the maturity and availability here is asked from the person coming to the father/mother-child pair, and not from the single parents. Are they ready to make space for the step----? Not always, and that is also immature.

dont do it

I don’t care how many relationships he had before me because what counts is the experience, what I do care is if he has a past “package” that will always live between us which are children, so no thanx.

It is an erroneous logical leap from stating the fact that because one is a single parent it follows that they know what commitment is....that is what they call.. a bridge too far.

Statistics show that breakup rates are MUCH higher with each subsequent breakup/divorce. I don't understand why you think that single parents are basically across-the-board more understanding of relationships, commitment, and value what they have. My ex wife left ME and took our daughter for no good reason, remarried an abusive man, had a second child with him, and then got divorced AGAIN. Now she has two children from two different marriages and -- guess what -- blames it on everyone else. Surprise, surprise. The person I am today would NEVER date a woman like her. We only got involved because at that time I was very young, pathetic, lonely, and coming out of an awful childhood, whereas she was emotionally unstable and getting kicked out of her parents' home. We used each other no doubt, but there was absolutely only ONE of us who actually cared about having the family together, making it work/better, and honoring our commitment -- and it definitely wasn't her. Being a (great) father wasn't what taught me to value a relationship/commitment/etc -- that is just who I am as a person. Having had a marriage and being a dad gave me experience, but experience doesn't equate to being a person who is good at or can be trusted with relationships.

Ask ourselves is it me or someone else honestly because past relationships going to actually snoop around seeing who messing with who

Thank u for this video. You described me as a single parent. That video was too short. I know I have strikes, according to some just for being a single mom. My children made ME a better person. Inviting someone into my flow is a big deal too. Thank u for getting it. We deserve love too.

Love! im hitting a wall ! im 24 (no kids) and my boyfriend is 31 with a 11-year-old, but i feel like im always nagging him for balance when it comes with our time, We see each other for 6 days on and don't see each other for 6 days off. I feel like this is not healthy as we are 2 years and 5 months in . i feel like this is not healthy what do you think is a good balance.

You have to know yourself and your needs REALLY well before dating a single parent of either gender. You also have to have identified and healed your attachment system and core wounds. Here's how to know whether this is right for you: ***Dating a single parent *could be perfect* for what you want IF*** 0) you like his kids and they like- and respect- you 1) always wanted a family 2) are just as capable of loving someone else's kids as you are your own 3) maybe don't want your own kids but would love to have kids in your life 4) intend to continue living in your current city, a close-by city, or at least the same state for the long term 5) are fine with not taking vacations or traveling with your partner for extended periods 6) feel financially secure and have clear financial boundaries around whose resources go to the person's kids and when; as well as how much of his resources you expect to go toward your partnership 7) have plenty of your own interests and activities to fill your time 8) can feel secure in your relationship knowing his kids will always come before you 9) feel secure around his ex and his/her involvement in your partnership via their shared children does not bother you 10) have experience and comfort with blended family situations 11) can balance detachment toward his kids and their primary relationship to their own mother with providing additional mothering and mentoring in a different capacity 12) there are clear boundaries around what authority you do and don't have with his kids 13) there are clear boundaries around how his kids behave when they are in your home 14) you like and respect his parenting style 15) you have gone successfully through the first three stages of a relationship with this person (dating, honeymoon, power struggle) and have settled securely into one of the last three stages (stability, commitment, bliss) -- and if not with this person, you have BOTH gone successfully through these stages in other relationships ***additionally, DO NOT combine your life, finances, or household with a single parent before you have made it successfully out of the power struggle stage of the relationship with them and into the stability phase or beyond*** 16) you have extremely strong, honest trust and communication with your single parent partner and feel safe advocating for your needs and boundaries 17) you have good trust and communication with his kids and they respect your boundaries ***ON THE CONTRARY, Dating a single parent *could be absolutely wrong* for what you want IF*** 0) you don't you like his kids and/or they don't like- and respect- you ***this is non-negotiable- in no instance is it ever okay to proceed in a relationship with a parent whose kids you can't get along with, period*** 1) have goals, dreams or ambitions for the long term that will likely take you out of your current living area 2) like to take extended vacations and trips and want to share those with your partner 3) want someone whose financial resources are exclusively available for your partnership 4) have high needs for quality time and intimacy that will go un-met when having to share your partner with his obligations to his kids 5) have bad chemistry with his ex or are unwilling to maintain harmony with her for the sake of his obligations 6) your financial expectations for how much, if any, of YOUR resources go to his children do not align with each other 7) you feel overly attached to his kids 8) you consciously or unconsciously compete with his kids 9) you feel resentment about his children coming before you or continually suppress and ignore your own needs to make a relationship with a single parent work 10) - 17) are missing any of the above things in the "dating a single parent could be perfect for you" list and are not willing or capable of resolving those things

Wow, and I thought I had problems, good luck with that

My man has all the support from his family except his dead beat child's mother...t his son and I are very close...I want to be part of both his life ...yet I asked him about more one on one time and dates and he said I was asking for too much and that he was more free when we first met before he had full custody...now I'm like how are we gonna grow as a couple???

If you are dating a single parent (and you don't have kids) keep in mind this ONE thing. You are not first: Their child is You are not second: They themselves are You are not third: The ex's needs come before yours You are not 4th: Their families needs come before yours You okay being 5th on the list in a single parents life? People say, don't date a single parent because you will always be "second." In your dreams! If you can get above 5th place, be happy to stay there, because you likely are not moving on from that!

Wow that was an awesome video, I am a single dad raising two little girls and I needed to hear this!

#WIFE #HUSBAND #Children #Mother #Father #Siblings shall I continue ? Need I say more? This how many Agree Spouses R numero Uno 👇🏽

I am a single father myself. I don't think that single parents should date. They shouldn't date at least until the children have grown up and are on their own. If you are a single parent, I don't believe you should bring strangers in and out of the lives of your children. If you end up breaking up with someone that was brought into you and your child's life, you are an adult and will deal with the break up. Your child on the other hand may not understand, especially if they are young and have grown attached to them. This just my opinion.

I'm just not buying it, my fathers on his fourth wife... would you call him a Marriage expect? I would call him a serial quitter personally. Here's the thing, people with kids should stick to dating people with kids and leave us single people alone.

Single mother’s are not looking for a relationship, they’re looking for help. You will find yourself being a babysitter while she’s out for ladies night. Stay safe and sane and just stay away from them.

Try dating a Mum with a son that has Autism and a daughter of 10 going on 16 who acts like the boss and has regular strops. The lad always chats back and both disrespect your property. I love the woman dearly but my god its hard as the kids can unsettle a happy house at the flick of a switch. I'm pretty house proud and to see them trash it is so hard to take. We never get time alone and have the kids every weekend, I'm wondering if it's worth sticking around. I'm 56 and my girl is 43, what the hell should I do as its causing friction after three and a half years ?

Am 30 and a single mum and I would love to date a single father I think it will do us good

I feel like since I have been dating a man with 2 young children for 6 months, that dating a single dad is not for me. I swore to myself that after my last 2 failed long term relationships that I would not be with anyone who doesn't consider me his #1. & that is never going to happen so long as I am with father of the year. His precious golden child from his previous marriage is always going to be #1. He treats his daughter like a princess & is not very good to his son. He treats me like sideshow bob whenever we are together with his daughter. But when its just us & his son, things are wonderful. Heaven forbid I have an opinion that in any way relates to his parenting style or his unhealthy obsession with letting his 7 year old sleep in bed with him. I am always walking on eggshells as not to offend him. I always have to compromise for him, & then compromise some more. It is NEVER about me. & when I try to make it about me, I get told "It's not all about YOU". Well, no shit. But it should be 50/50 about both of us. not 100% your needs & 200% your daughter's needs. What about MY needs?

I like the guy I’m dating. He has a child. I raised a kid already that wasn’t mine. So I know what it takes. I can’t have kids so I like it. But I think he had fear of commitment due to his last marriage. He moves so slow. And pushes me away sometimes but I let him because I know how men work but I’m like how long are we going to go through this. It’s been 3 months. At my age I feel we all know more what we want so we move faster this guy moves like a snail. Or he is dating lots of women 🤣

Youll have to do a background check most definitely. You dont know why they are a single parent.

Their is zero time for a partner in a single dad or mom life if they have kids between age 0 to 30 you will be like a vase onna shelf.....used when flowers arrived and put back when their dead. Friends with benefits they can offer....

Im a single dad 26 with a 2 year old daughter. Im not looking forward to having anymore childrens. Need help with finding a women who doesnt want kids. Ive met single moms but most of them still want more kids but i do not. So in the long run the relstionship wont work out. Any advice anyone?

Haha I’m a single dad whit 4 kids there if u raise ur kids correct u won’t have issues whit that if women or man can’t deal whit kids then u shuld not bother dating the person me I’m not losing my mind at all stay focused an know what u want from ur life

Never chew a chewed bubble gum... unless she is a widow

If they divorced, they didn’t keep and failed commitment.

I don’t agree at all on the emotional maturity of people with kids. Not my experience. And also the view that if you don’t have kid psyou are immature _I noticed it mainly applies to men who their lives with the zero responsibilities for as long as possible and the only thing that may actually sit them down, if they are sensible enough, is a child.

The man has to be kind and caring to you and your kids

Damm bro you need a reality check..

P

single mom

Single parents are Emotionally mature. That's very true

I'm sorry but my ex is a single parent and he was no where near mature r ready for commitment/relationship he was the biggest lier he was just like a 19 year old guy who wants to have fun partying drinking n screwing as much woman as he could, n home boy is 29

Im dating a lady with 2 boys, iv no kids.. iv invested everything. Alls good. But at end it brings you down. It tireing...omg

it's crazy for single guys without offspring marrying single moms.

Yep they need to be by themselves . Im ddone paying for shit or doing anything for either one of them . If you cant commit as a family I dont want to either . Im only good enough when its convenient for you and your 10 year son . I got a child that lost his mom due to overdose SHEVWAS MY FRIENDD and he appreciates me . I WILL POUR MY BEING INTO HIS HEART.

You had a kid at 47? nope!

This guy is so naive it's unbearable.

Im the type of single parent who is empathic. Dont worry not all are toxic

What ever you do never ever date a single mother! Just don’t do it! Just don’t do it!!!!!!!!!

Single mom mean men just dont do it

Don't take advice like : dont date à single parent. EVERY human is different. Is there. Difficulties ofcourse but there are husban and wives who don't have kids and cheat, lie, etc. Your marrying a soul not a resume.

idk this "single w/o kids = 'searching in an inferior way'" vs. "single w/ kids = 'no more bullshit forever'" dichotomy sounds like self aggrandizing wishful thinking from a single dad who still cant make his relationships work

You have children?!

The rule is You Dont Date Single Mothers. It come from smarter and more experienced man Tom Leykis

#BETAMALE 😂😂

Its kinda sad how toxic this comment section is

Rule number 1 Don't date single mothers Its like playing with broken toys Or missing pieces to anything

The best advice is to never date a single parent (especially if it's mom). They are not looking for love, but for (financial) help.

Do NOT date single moms.

Feel heartbroken as I ended it and we had that spark/chemistry but I wasn’t sure if I could go on as he had full custody of his 6 year old daughter, I’m 45 and child free, we were always relying on babysitters and was difficult having alone time. Me and him got on fab and I miss him dearly and I don’t mean to sound selfish re the daughter but I wasn’t sure I could do it 🥲