NOTIFICATION SQUAD: MOIST WITH ME. Favourite Engrish example in the video? There's certainly a fair few to choose from... And a big thanks to everyone that stopped by for my 30th birthday live show on the Abroad Perspective channel! For those that missed the mayhem, you can watch it here: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/la2DeNmbqN-veZc.html I'm thinking about using the second channel for monthly live shows, having done it twice this year and enjoyed it both times. Keep an eye out!

Got shirt in China that says "Live in such a way you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot". Words of wisdom.

Chris Broad Physical age: 30 Mental age: angry and jaded 70 Sense of humour: 13

My all time favorite has to be the package of jerk chicken which was labeled "Chicken Rude and Unreasonable."

I'm in tears over the phrase 'business boy'. I can't help imagining some grown man being so excited at his first job and proud of being a business boy

A friend of mine spent a year teaching English in Japan and brought back a T-Shirt that read "Peanut Butter Motherfucker," which is glorious.

There was a food once that on the tin said “tastes just like grandma”

There’s a Japanese brand of energy drink called Pocari Sweat, which alone is odd to English speakers, but the first time I visited Japan there was a large ad near my hotel with the words “I love to drink sweat” printed on it.

Here are a few I saw: "Slip Carefully" on a sign put on a wet floor. "Erection in Progress" on a construction site sign. "Precise Dwarf Bravery" on a t-shirt "Religion Free DVD Player" I think they meant region free "Ladies and Men. Toilet time is divided. Do not make a mistake"

West: "Let's use Asian languages as decoration" East: "Let's use Western languages as decoration" Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

A friend shared this gem from a company orientation: "Some hand job training may be required."

I love these, my wife is Chinese and they do the same thing in China. My mother in law had a jacket that had `DEAD INSIDE` written on it in huge letters. That really cracked me up. Or the `no tossing` signs in malls are also priceless. Just makes me smile every time haha.

A book of phrases my dad saw in the 1980's had such gems as "The wine is good but the meat is spoiled" (the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak) and in the chapter on pick-up lines...."May I place my tongue between your lips" (so polite, oh my!)

My brother bought me a shirt from Japan that says: "Take your time. Dry a cat."

I bought a notebook that has “THROBBING MORNING” on the front of it. Along with a picture of the Eiffel Tower.

I haven't been to Japan since 1992, and was so delighted to see that the marketing english was still going strong! Please don't ever change.

I have listened to JPop most of my life and have become so accustomed to odd English phrases that it rarely phases me anymore. I often get asked, “Why do Japanese lyricists put English into their songs when they don’t really know the language”. This video confirmed what I have long suspected, “Because they think it sounds cool.”

One of my favourite English mishaps is a Chinese sign for a lawn that reads: "Do not disturb! Tiny grass is dreaming" which I just find strangely adorable!

I bought a planner from daiso because the cover said "CHILL it's only chaos"

I recently had a CAT-scan at my local hospital. The huge machine was a well-known Japanese brand, with Pokemon instruction characters on a video screen and a young female voice giving instructions in English with a heavy Japanese accent. Apparently about when to hold my breath and when to breath again. I have a hearing loss (20%) but couldn't wear my hearing-aids during the procedure. I must have miss-understood them, as I held my breath throughout the 3 minute scan. When the injected contrast solution took effect, I couldn't hold it any longer - and shouted "Help". Where-upon a Code Blue alert was called and a team of doctors raced-in from the nearby Emergency Department. I was OK and went home later. The hospital is now reviewing their CAT-Scan procedures, to include prior briefings for patients - about how to handle the procedure and what to expect - without Pokemon characters with Japanese accents ! (Andrew (71) in Darwin Australia) .

I used google lens to translate the Super Dry kanji and it literally says "Bad weather company"

There's a sign in my sharehouse here in Japan that says: "In under no circumstances are pets prohibited" LOL

"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands." Can't fault the English there >

10:43 “Is this a pen? No. This is a STAPLER” has the same energy as “This isn’t a song, it’s a sandwich”. I now have Psychostick running through my head like an abandoned lamb.

My mum bought for me three shirts from a makeshift shop near my house. One shirt says " SAVAGE", another shirt says "REALIST" and the last one says "To be continued..." I still keep them to this day.

My friend went to Japan and found a shirt that said "I do drugs" on it. That right there is how you get selected for a random search at the airport back home.

In Switzerland there are four official languages. They once sold butter that was correctly labeled in German and Italian and said "Swiss clarified butter", but the French translation said "Butter to fry the Swiss"

It's the same with French language. I laughed a lot when travelling through Japan, looking at "french" stores names. They were always badly spelled or didn't actually mean anything. 😅

"For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry." Ah yes, this quote has helped my neighbors and I. Not only did di they lose weight, but I also saved money by eating their food. Only trouble was, not trying to disturb them whilst they slept.

Chris, you've owned that shirt for quite a while now and we all know you've grown very attached to it. Admit it

in the early 90's Pepsi had a tough time selling its brand in Japan, they eventually found out the reason why. one of the old sayings in America was "Bring your soul to life" which in Japan and China translated to "Brings your ancestors back from the dead"

I'm wiping away tears, I'm laughing so hard. Sir, you are hilarious!

When I was teaching in Japan, I bought a mini-disc recorder. The nice lady also gave me a blue cloth bag to keep it in. On the bag were the words, "We make them for whole human beings" I also remember seeing a Japanese guy wearing a T-shirt with the words written in plain English: "F&C# ON"

"Is this Krusty Krab?" "No. This is a STAPLER."

My personal favourite: “You can’t drink all day If you don’t start in the morning making your friends and family more interesting.”

I always love it when non english speakers walk around with shirts saying "slut" and other offensive words, it's clear they were to lazy to even do a google image search. I bought some pajamas from Lidl with kanji on it. I went through a whole damn dictionary to make sure it actually meant "calm like a river " and not something else, even if I'd never wear those clothes in public.

Chris. We NEED A PART 2 of this video. Or make it a monthly series. This is one of my favorite of your videos.

Imagine walking down the street in London with a shirt saying "has high functionality" with that amazing "let's adventure" hat

"Fuckin sale!" Well, they made it quite obvious that it was a sale, didn't they.

This is brilliant, I lived in Japan 30 years ago and saw signs that said things like "I feel coke" but I could never explain it to my friends and family (when I got home) in a way that made sense until now. Making the popcorn and sending out the invitations.

Omg that cutting board is hilarious. Bellow the English sentences they translated it into Portuguese and it actually makes sense. How did they get the Portuguese right but the English wrong? 😂😂

In quarantine there's no tour across Japan or love hotels, there's just Chris and his humour, and that's good enough for me.

"As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands." *looks down* Well I'll be damned.

How about this: in UK a grocery stores chain used to put "Need help? Ask a member of the staff" on the shelves under the prices. Also in the condoms area.

Very wonderful! I do enjoy these "mistakes in translation" videos! Especially when they are accompanied by a generous dose of irascible British humor! (Or "humour" as you will!)

I saw a t-shirt with music notes and the text: "Make some noise, crap your hands." Yeeeeah...

I remember the last time I went to Japan to visit my mums family, one of my cousins was wearing a shirt that said in big bold letters across her chest "I f*ck everything!!!" They didn't understand why I couldn't stop laughing at this.

I got sad when this video ended. Most entertaining content I’ve seen in a while

ナイススティックは70年代からある古いパッケージのまま残るパンです。私は大好きです。

“Moist with me”? I’ll do no such thing! 💀 💀 🤣🤣🤣🤣

If your first tattoo isn’t “Family Mart Chicken” then you’re a knob

You are bloody brilliant!!! Hooked on your videos!!! Keep them coming!

Very entertaining video. I'll watch more of your stuff. Thanks.

"Moist with me" is totally my new favorite pick up line 😂

Naaah, my favourite is still the one in the english coursebook. A: "Is that a dog?" B: "No, that's Susan."

Also completely! Many years ago at work, we'd enjoy technical documents sent to us by our Asian customers. The accompanying sales brochures were typical loaded with gems like you shared here. The one that stuck with us and was reused over the years was the summarizing statement "Also completely".

Thank you for making this vid. I needed a good laugh today. Keep working that 'high functionality'!

" Laugh, and the world laughs with you: weep, and you weep alone. CREATIVE STORAGE " - from my small box I bought in japan

What are you on about? You always wanted an amateur housewife in your kitchen.

Narwhal: "Moist with me." AiJ: "I'll do no such thing."

The content of your video is hilarious, BUT you also delivered it so well. Brilliant work!

"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands" Yes, I remember when I was 15 and I just had a terrible day at the basketball court. As I tried several times to make some shots with just one hand, I kept thinking to myself "man, I wish I had two hands like the other kids. I'd be making so many shots". Disappointed, I went home, holding the basketball under my arm while grabbing my backpack with my hand. I came to the door, put everything down and grabbed my keys in my pocket. Weird. The lights were out, but usually at this time either my mom or dad would already be home. I shrugged and turned the key. As the door creaked, I heard some noise come from inside the house. I couldn't quite place what the sound was. Whispers maybe? I tried to find the switch with my hand and nervously cried out "hello?". Once I reached the switch, the lights were on, even though I didn't press it. To my surprise, all my friends and family were there and in unison they yelled "surprise!". I was in complete shock. I mean, it was only August, my birthday wasn't until 4 months. There were balloons, cake, everyone was dressed so nicely whereas I was a complete sweaty slob coming from the court. They hugged me with big smiles on their faces as my face showed confusion. Behind them, a gigantic banner rolled down to show the words "CONGRATS, YOU HAVE TWO HANDS!". And suddenly it all came to me. I had heard about that, my parents always told me my body would change with puberty, but I'd never expected that I'd get an extra hand. The world of possibilities flashed in front of my eyes. I wasn't gonna suck so much playing basketball or even videogames! Typing on a keyboard was going to be smooth sailing now. Even now, as I write this, my eyes water as I remember my Hand Reveal Party. It's such a special moment in any kids life.

"Before knowing, someone started caressing my hair." That's just a tagline from The Grudge.

man, I just realised how close this guys humour is to ashens I would kill for a ashens and abroad in japan colab video

The problem is often using the wrong collocations. For example “ the extremity of luxury “ should be “ the lap of luxury “.

"As you grow older you will realize you have two hands." I will definitely use this when someone asks me to do sth they can totally do themselves.

"Is this a pen? No. It's a stapler." Probably the funniest Japanese marketing I have ever seen in my life.. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Haven't laughed so much because of a KZfaq vid, the nicestick bit absolutely killed me😂

Thank you you tube algorithm Loving this and subscribed Glasgow, Scotland

"As you grow older you'll discover you have two hands" is the first part of a longer quote attributed to Audrey Hepburn. The whole quote reads, "As you grow older you'll discover you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others."

because Japan doesn't have "L" like we have in romaji. Living in Japan I found a shirt that had glow in the dark print. they claimed on a tag it had the ability to "grow in the dark"

Thank you for sharing. When I was in Japan I was so confused by their English marketing and though it was the funniest thing. Now it all makes sense!

I just binged a BUNCH of your videos, and every time I think "oh, cool shirt" - it is THIS one XD You really put it to good use, love it XD

My favorite ever was my 5 year old student wearing a t-shirt with the words 'Mable's Whore House'

I saw a t-shirt with the print: “GO TO IT! MIGRATORY BEAR. GO TO IT!” Still wondering what that was meant to mean...

I went to Japan in 2019 and, as a French, I picked a lot of misuses of the language. We call it "franponais"; contraction of "français" (French) and "japonais" (Japanese).

I’m so glad I found yours and Charla’s channel!! I especially love these types of videos. Chris you are hilarious!!! I’ve been binge watching yours and Charla’s vids. Keep it up! Cheers from the USA!

This is how Chris will survive his 30's, just waking up every morning and using that hat to give himself the self encouragement he needs, that he is indeed 'special everyday'.

My friend bought a mug that just said "Have a good"

This video was so freaking funny, i couldnt stop laughing, my belly and cheeks hurt from the work out!!! 🙌 😂 Thanks for sharing man

Laughing is healthful. I roared. Your delivery is what made it so funny

I bought a Deodorant that talked to me like a therapist, and yes this whole paragraph was on the front: We try to have an enjoyable time but it doesn't always work that way. There are times when you accidently get stuck into incidents that isn't your fault. You are likely to encounter into these incidents when you become older. You can be positive if you experience joyfulness and happiness in your everyday lives. I hope you have a wonderful day.

it should be written "Soy Sauce: Reckoning of the Cream Cheese". Its the third entry in the much accleaimed Soy Sauce franchise.

The fact that Nice Stick! 👍has a hot pink background makes it so much better.

Oh my word, I laughed all the way through 😂

"Is this a pen? No. It is a STAPLER." That's just absolutely hilarious to me.

When I was in Japan, in an airbnb in Kyoto, we had a sign that said "Please disturb the neighborhood" - we were supposed to keep quiet in a residential area :p

We stumbled across this video first thing in the morning and ended up laughing. Thank You a great way to start the day.

So entertaining! Thank you

Who can't honestly say they love the taste of nicestick.

A few of my favorites when I was there. "No eating or dirnking" "No smorking" A guys jacket that read "Sunday you bastard"

I love the flower duet song from the shower part

Oh man... I haven't laughed like this in quite a while. Thank you so much! I guess I need to be redeemed redeemed before I can continue my afternoon :D

“‘Moist with me?’ I’ll do no such thing.”

I lived in China for a while, my favourite Chinglish translations are: 1. A supermarket that in Chinese was called "Local supermarket with home grown food". In the English translation it said "Local special product supermarket soil yourself". 2. On a reastaurant menue they had locally grown mushrooms, English translation "local bacteria". 3. On a sign entering a park it was written in Chinese "making fires in the park are prohibited", the English translation "don't catch on fire!".

Reminds me of when I went to a Thai festival near me, and I saw a bag with a fabric that had a series of owls on it. What was off was the text between the owls which simply read; "Sample_Text_Here". 😂

Lmaooo Nice Stick I saw this when I was over there and took a photo and now it has a special place in my album

I had a T-shirt that said "SWEAT BOY MILK"

My favorite was a soap that said "Bathe F*cker" to this day I still can't find it again, but I want it to be my exclusive soap so if anybody finds it let me know.

"Nice stick" ! That is my favorite snack! I'm glad you love the taste, too, at least!