Why Do Attractive Women Date Losers?

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10 ай бұрын

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@GuppyPal 10 ай бұрын

This happened to me. Girl I dated and was happy with suddenly left me for a guy who was objectively WAY worse than me. She had abandonment trauma and low self esteem and said she felt anxious and on edge being in a relationship with me because she felt I was too good for her, even though I didn't feel that way at all. Horrible thing to go through. Try not to take it personally. People like this need therapy.

@trickydicky7868 9 ай бұрын

At the end of the day, its not your issue. Shame that the girl done this to you, but its up to her to address her issues and insecurities.

@johnferreira2231 7 ай бұрын

Beats having her get with a guy you think is above you. I remember dancing around a room in front of my two friends when I found out a recent ex at the time was dating this one guy who’s a loser. She downgraded in just about every aspect and it went on for quite a while. I know it’s toxic but I just remember all the things she use to love about me that she was 100% missing. Use to faun over our height difference, this dude was like an inch shorter than her, knew she thought about me every time they embraced. Still remember her younger sister and her got into an argument(they’re crazy) that ended with her sister posting a video on her Snapchat making fun of her relationship with a gnome. I was dancing like a lizard lmao. Now had she gotten with some 6’6 built black dude? I would’ve been broken💀

@jeffreyburney6161 6 ай бұрын

It’s nothing that you’ve done is just that as a person no amount of therapy is ever going to help her. She’s just terminally that way it’s best just a step back and let the streets have her. don’t get in the way of the streets taking its due because it could take you too. It’s obvious that woman belongs to the streets. that’s when you go on and find a better woman and forget all about her because trust me she’s done forgot about you

@shakey3306 5 ай бұрын

@@trickydicky7868 nonsense

@shakey3306 5 ай бұрын

@@jeffreyburney6161 lol dude you're such a butthurt, apparently he triggered your traumas lol

@Courtney-Alice-Gargani 10 ай бұрын

Some women like fixer uppers and losers are a perfect example of that. She wants to fix him so she can feel better about herself. Like she is playing a mother role. She likes to nurture in their relationship.

@drip369 10 ай бұрын

Which is understandable but women used to be taught that they can't find people and it is true, people do not change cuz I'm at the core they can improve and move forward in life but that is only by their own choices, yet women will still stick around for a guy that is going stale or falling backwards unless she's the 90% that have backup dudes in her phone

@Shah-of-the-Shinebox 10 ай бұрын

That shouldn't be the basis of a relationship.

@Leoo117 10 ай бұрын

@drip369 It's not understandable at all. People only choose fixer-uppers because they are avoiding their own problems within themselves. It makes them feel good to fix someone else. It's like a drug that they use to avoid their own issues. Women AND men do this. It's a human issue that we have to humble ourselves and self-reflect to overcome.

@MikeyP109 10 ай бұрын

That doesn't even remotely fit the definition of nurture.

@pastelmoon9118 10 ай бұрын

yes but sad reality is that no one can fix another person.. they must do it themselves in order to be happy with someone

@TSierra 10 ай бұрын

Exactly! We have to define “loser” and what it means. A lot of women nowadays think a loser is somebody that makes like 90K a year lol

@cheyennesmith3365 10 ай бұрын

90K a year is reasonable in the vast majority of the US. The only places where 90K is barely livable is in the big cities. Most city people live in their own little worlds.

@britneyt9253 10 ай бұрын

What about someone who’s 25 who doesn’t have a job, but is trying to find one but hasn’t been accepted by employers? Would they be a loser or give them a chance?

@edgarcarrillovazquez8576 10 ай бұрын

A guy who spent most of their free time playing video games and has a lot of figures of Warhamer 40 000 is a looser???? (I am describing Henrry Cavil)

@hotpockets69 10 ай бұрын

@@britneyt9253if you're unemployed, you should be focused on getting a source of income rather than dating. At some point y'all need to grow up and get your priorities straight.

@coolguyconnor 10 ай бұрын

@@cheyennesmith3365$90k a year is far above the average income anywhere in the US. Quality of life on $90k will vary from place to place, but you aren't struggling on $90k anywhere. It's far better than "reasonable".

@PRdude 10 ай бұрын

I once heard about a girl who went back to a guy who proved to be a jerk, after she had dated a better guy. Things like that used to frustrate the living heck out of me, but this guy explained to me that girls like her just don't feel worthy of guys with stability. Your reactions to that guy's statements were priceless by the way.

@drip369 10 ай бұрын

This is why people need to understand what daddy issues are with both men and women because if women find comfort in a traumatic environment, we're fighting to be alone is the only way to calm down so of course they don't understand comfort in a safe environment because their mothers didn't allow them to have a father or their mothers are as bad at picking men as the daughters now are because of the mother. Women complain about abuse so much but it's the single mothers that are raising abusive men and abusive women that need to abused each other and just to avoid all that stuff I always wrap it up until I know a girl's schedule so I know I can trust her that she's only with me even if I'm not only seeing her

@AntoninusPius100 10 ай бұрын

It's really not that backwards and complicated. It's not that they don't feel worthy. It's that the guy with stability is boring to her. He doesn't exhibit needlessly reckless and risky behavior daily. He doesn't hang around people she considers cool, he doesn't have enough clout for her. After she's dated those types of guys, she won't want a guy who doesn't get her emotions going with reckless and risky behavior, isn't cool enough or doesn't have enough clout for her. Which is why it's so important not to date a girl who's been with these types of guys. She'll never be satisfied with a stable lifestyle. Before I date a girl I always ask about her dating history because it is probably the most important question to ask.

@excripto1 10 ай бұрын

I guess we don’t have to work so hard and be lazy and still be successful with women

@nikinpatel6305 10 ай бұрын

this is true. happened to me. but realized she wasnt on my level and she needed some serious time to figure herself out.

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@MessageInABottle869 10 ай бұрын

Be aware of women who talks about they want you to be emotional available, in many cases that means that she want you to be available to her emotions, yours don’t really matter.

@theotherguy_91 10 ай бұрын

My man

@jagwheelproductions8802 10 ай бұрын

💯

@devilsadvocacy 10 ай бұрын

And, is a sure-fire ticket to the friend zone

@sloanmagnum5009 10 ай бұрын

Exactly

@FischerFan 10 ай бұрын

Sounds just like my own mother! She spent her life dwelling on everything negative and everybody else's problems. I grew up listening to a lifetime of problems that I did not cause. For her, that was okay, but if something was ever bothering me, it was always, 'Oh well. You can't let that bother you.'. Same old sexist double standard. I guess marrying an alcoholic at 19 years of age can really mess up a woman's mind, not to mention her life. Well, after I moved out; my former sister-in-law told me how much my Mom 'misses her youngest son.'. I just said, 'I DON"T want to hear about it!'. This is why, more than 25 years later, my mother has never set foot in my residence. I am FINISHED hearing about the lifetime of problems she brought on herself.

@gosple2 10 ай бұрын

"Looks get you in the door, character keeps you there." - Courtney Ryan

@mikhailabdurrachman2443 10 ай бұрын

Translation ; there's no hope whatsoever for the short ugly dudes, got it.

@KaiserBP 10 ай бұрын

Without looks, you won't even be given the chance to show your character

@rainzoomm 10 ай бұрын

Question, if you don’t have the looks, but have great character, how do you get in the door??

@gosple2 10 ай бұрын

@@rainzoommWork on your looks. Given enough work, your looks will improve and, in turn, your confidence will as well. Don't lose hope.

@tidefanyankee2428 10 ай бұрын

A person can get attention on looks, but looks alone won't KEEP that attraction if you turn out to be a horrible person, unless the other person is a masochist. In normal people it's the personality that keeps the attraction going, but looks are usually what opens the door. You have to be attracted to the other person....chemistry matters.

@garypierce7380 10 ай бұрын

When I was in my 20's there were ugly women, total strangers, who treated me like a dog, and beautiful women who were in the category of 'nicest woman on the planet', who treated me great. Some people are holding a grudge against everybody and some are just nice people who are nice to everybody...you can't assume anything according to looks. I think there's a stereotype that good looking women are stuck up and homely women are so nice because they've been there and understand.... not true.

@syttorak7629 10 ай бұрын

This is not even an Opinion. It is actually a fact. Good comment

@nykia31 10 ай бұрын

Well said. A lot of guys make the mistake of assuming that attractive women wont talk to them..when often, they don't get approached near as much as the guy would think (Ironically, for that very reason). I've gotten to know a lot of very attractive women, who are among the most genuinely pleasant people that I have ever met.

@keithgraham9547 10 ай бұрын

IMO, there is a correlation between attractive women and intelligence. This isn't a 100% correlation, but there is a very strong correlation between unattractive and stupidity/damaged.

@iggypopisgod9 10 ай бұрын

When I was in my 20's there were ugly women, total strangers, who treated me like a dog, and beautiful women who were in the category of 'nicest woman on the planet', who treated me great..... Always pay attentionto how peoplei interact with service workers...tons of insight "Hot" girls can be very superficial...even when they are "nice" it often is sn act....

@jkaugust3586 10 ай бұрын

or possibly stupid damaged people just become "unattractive" once you clearly see through them. @@keithgraham9547

@NoOne-vc7ct 10 ай бұрын

Always remember: What women say they think they want is often times completely different from who they actually go for and what actually makes them attracted to someone.

@urlauburlaub2222 10 ай бұрын

No. But if you live in a solipsistic space for the special talented, honesty and commitment is found somewhere else besides what you say to fit the narrative.

@TheNacho1717 5 ай бұрын

@@urlauburlaub2222so in other words you’re describing a fool who lives in an unrealistic reality, and who possesses 25 sex toys? So sad and lonely.

@drjohnsonhungwell5115 10 ай бұрын

Reminds me of a woman i dated for a short time who ditched me for a loser .....I recently saw their mugshots in the local paper for theft of services,. ....He doesn't work or even have a car .....they go everywhere on foot or hitch rides . LoL 🤣

@drip369 10 ай бұрын

Availability and toxic attention

@IntelligentEating 10 ай бұрын

Defo

@excripto1 10 ай бұрын

I guess even as losers we can still be successful with women. Goes to show I shouldn’t work so hard in life and be lazy and still get a girlfriend 😀

@drip369 10 ай бұрын

@@excripto1 if you don't mind being abused. I'd rather be admired by multiple women at once than to be exclusive with a trauma victim trying ti traumatize you

@CourtneyRyan 10 ай бұрын

Hi Joseph!

@Coyote-wm5op 10 ай бұрын

I’ve taken the last two years to figure this stuff out. My father was a narcissist and caused me to have low self esteem and be filled with self doubt. I was attracting narcissistic women throughout my 20’s and early 30’s. I’ve reversed a lot of that the last two years. There’s definitely truth in “you are what you attract.” Recently I was talking with a woman that definitely finds me attractive and I have no doubt I’m better than her ex on every level. She chose to go back to an abusive ex that isn’t going anywhere. I think she has very low self esteem and is also a bit toxic behind closed doors.

@sloanmagnum5009 10 ай бұрын

What you think is better about your self doesn't matter to anyone else, especially a woman. Only YOU think you were better than her ex.

@CourtneyRyan 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing this! Hugs to you!

@Coyote-wm5op 10 ай бұрын

@@sloanmagnum5009 actually it does matter what you think about yourself especially to women. That’s what confidence is but there’s a fine line between confidence and over valuing. It’s very common for ppl with low self esteem to be attached to their abusers through trauma bonding.

@sloanmagnum5009 10 ай бұрын

@Coyote-wm5op you clearly misunderstood my comment. Because everything you said is irrelevant to what I was saying.

@Coyote-wm5op 10 ай бұрын

@@sloanmagnum5009 being black pilled doomer and gaslighting isn’t going to help you in life. Enjoy.

@Herozonex200 10 ай бұрын

This is the young girl phase. Even in highschool they go through that phase. Also the men that date those women are bad boys. Women go with the bad boys in the first place because they think the good guys are too boring or not fun. Then when they hit that wall in their 30s, they're gonna hit the wall where they look unattractive, the bad boys dont want them anymore, she's going to go find good guys that she was supposed to be doing in her 20s. The thing is, the good guys that were probably in the friend zone or rejected, they've gotten way better and they're in their prime. They're getting their money right and getting their passports to find someone who is way better

@mamc1986 10 ай бұрын

Get rid of this "friend zone" idea, it's an act of intentional/unintentional manipulation on the man's part. Sometimes the women know this, and they string the guy along on purpose anyways. The thing you need to understand is that if a woman doesn't like you, she just doesn't like you. It means you have to move on and stop wasting time on her.

@fredsas12 10 ай бұрын

@@mamc1986 "Friend Zone" is a female strategy, nothing to do with the men on a whole. Women like to have men on the back burner who give them attention. I.e.: the Friend Zone.

@viviennedunbar3374 10 ай бұрын

Let’s be honest a lot of it is that they are the young guys in high school who actually have game and know how to seduce and talk to girls. You may think he is a “bad boy” but one on one with a girl he really knows how to talk to her and charm her, make her laugh and flirt etc. Plenty of men admit that they had no idea even if a girl liked them in high school or were very self-conscious talking to girls. Some teen boys/young men may have little going for them in the eyes if their male peers but they DO know how to attract women. Plenty of high achieving, great guys just have no idea how to approach girls. Many girls are also inexperienced socially and romantically and so can be very charmed when a guy shows a lot of interest in her and tells her how beautiful she is etc. Also many very attractive girls never get approached. Men may be surprised but often only very confident men will ask a very good looking girl out so sometimes these girls end up with losers who are socially confident.

@SystematicMechanic 10 ай бұрын

i have a different take on this and its that these so called Bad Boys aren't always bad they just don't care about rejection or offending her. He doesn't SIMP or put her on a pedestal. while most other guys are too afraid of rejection to even go talk to her so of course she's going to pick him. And he has no problem dumping her if she starts acting bad. Most guys would just put up with her because she's super hot. Biggest problem i see is a lot of guys are scared of rejection and also assume hot girl are already in a relationship.

@Sp3z 10 ай бұрын

@@fredsas12 works both ways tbh. It's not great moral to date many people at once, so need to put alternatives somewhere while they wait.

@oliverpetroski4205 10 ай бұрын

Its her own fault. She choose to accept him, while at the same time friendzones some solid dude who has a (legal) job, showers every day, can make her happy etc. I've seen it thousands of times and its like they never learn. And when the sh*t hits the fan they cry on tiktok and such wanting for the friendzoned solud guy to come and fix her problems. Except, by that time she's in huge financial loss, has a loosers child(ren) and the solid guy has found someone else. Just a few examples from my town: Two women. Both in relationships with their solid dude each. First one left him to chase a ahole with gambling issues. Now she does not have a house anymore, she even owes money for rent and is about to get kicked out. The second woman, friendzoned that solid guy who would have loved her to heaven and back, just to chase a drug addicted scumbag. Now all of her money goes on drugs for her jobeless looser boyfriend who also beats her up on regular basis. They both freely choose those loosers, nobody forced them to do that. Its their own fault.

@user-sx5fn8yo5s 10 ай бұрын

Your beta male simp 💯

@Albemarle7 10 ай бұрын

We all see these same stories.Women see stabilty is super dull. They see danger as exciting. In fiction marketed to women, the male lead is aways a killer or rebel of some type.

@gamingnews8834 10 ай бұрын

That's right Oliver, their responsible for their actions.

@user-sx5fn8yo5s 10 ай бұрын

Your the loser you can't get the girl and he has her . Make it make sense

@mrquick6775 10 ай бұрын

If they like getting they azz beat, hey I love it! 😂

@veganmunsterweare138 10 ай бұрын

Toxic is when they can’t let you go but won’t treat you right either Attachment is the root of all suffering

@TRC19999 10 ай бұрын

Depends on the definition of what a “loser” is. A loser can be a guy who only makes 80k these days

@SRAANG01 10 ай бұрын

ONLY $80k?!?! Most people don’t even make $50k!

@garypierce7380 10 ай бұрын

$80 K in my area is a pretty well off guy.

@keithcourneya4900 10 ай бұрын

Or make 130k a year and be 5'8🤣

@The4Tifier 10 ай бұрын

Median salary across the US is 60K, and that’s including the 1% I the figure. And most young people make around 30-40K a year.

@matthewnikitas8905 10 ай бұрын

I don’t think income is the only measurement of whether a person is a “loser”. Even then the definition of that term is up to interpretation based on your own subjective opinions and personal beliefs etc.

@bengreatorex502 10 ай бұрын

'You have to heal the parts of yourself which make you choose the wrong people...' This is one of the best channels on YT. This could help a lot of people, or at least those willing to listen.

@CourtneyRyan 10 ай бұрын

You’re so kind, thank you 🥹

@zaynevanday142 10 ай бұрын

PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE get that straight 🔥

@CalmKitten184 10 ай бұрын

People can change, but they need to work very hard to not let their old habits resurface. There is redemption for everyone at some point.

@philmccloskey1013 10 ай бұрын

I’ve been interested in hot girls in the past who ended up being either interested or dated loser guys who are part of this whole ghetto slang culture. As soon as I saw who they were dating or interested in I knew right away I screwed up & dodged a bullet.

@viviennedunbar3374 10 ай бұрын

Unfortunately this can be another way some men show leadership and swagger which can be sexy to women, confident men who are providers (even if the provision is through crime) will usually find women. This is why successful drug dealers and criminals get women. It’s not because they are “bad boys” it’s because they look after women emotionally and financially (unfortunately through illegal means). They are leaders in their field, unfortunately that field is crime.

@MikeyP109 10 ай бұрын

What dies slang have to do with being a loser?

@mrquick6775 10 ай бұрын

@@MikeyP109Racist tend to type in riddles. But what he’s describing is white girls (esp pretty ones) who date BLACK drug dealers!! 😅

@coltonsimms763 9 ай бұрын

@@mrquick6775I've never met a black drug dealer in my life. Not one. All white. What were you saying again? Idiot

@coltonsimms763 9 ай бұрын

@mrquick6775 nice try though. #racebaiter #virtuesignal #ignorant

@codybain6788 10 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for mentioning the traumas thing! That's what 90% of it comes to. You'll be amazed how much healing childhood trauma helps confidence

@user-sx5fn8yo5s 10 ай бұрын

That's an ugly guy excuse

@josephstevens9888 10 ай бұрын

"Looks get you in the door, character keeps you there" very wise words Courtney!

@Dayinthelifewmimi 10 ай бұрын

Dude, by looks she doesn't mean an average looking guy. She means a 8 - 9 guy. Get it through your head.

@genovasquez8361 10 ай бұрын

with out looks you cant even get a one night stand

@SigmoidConMan 10 ай бұрын

Courtney, you have no friggin idea how ever so grateful I am for you posting a video covering this subject! I once had someone who displayed genuine interest in me go on six dates with me one summer only to leave me for a drunk bastard whom she has been leaving and getting back together with thinking she can change him.

@JasonMarshMusic 10 ай бұрын

Been there, done that.

@garypierce7380 10 ай бұрын

She likes that drama... you are truly blessed.

@jamesofla9697 10 ай бұрын

May I ask, how old was she when she did that to you? And looking back, did you overlook any red flags/flaws about her that that could’ve told you she wasn’t right for you?

@SigmoidConMan 10 ай бұрын

@@jamesofla9697 We were both in our late twenties. As for red flags, she would keep postponing dates since it took her at least two to three tries to make up her mind on when to go out and she brought up her ex every time I saw her.

@blastechee-3546 10 ай бұрын

You dodged an asteroid explosion then.

@oemj7147 10 ай бұрын

He might be a loser by some standards but is also a beast by other measures. Every "loser" who gets dates has an edge. The man with the lowest success in dating today is the decent, quiet, regular hard working guy. They could call him the invisible man.

@justacoginthefkery 10 ай бұрын

Thank you!! Maybe the guy someone else considers a "loser" is the guy who simply treats her with respect without putting her on a pedestal, acts like a gentleman, has good communication skills, not playing games, isn't partying everyday, etc. I went on a date recently with a so-called average guy like that. Had a group of other guys walk past & one spouted off loudly "I guess how he landed her... money" while the others agreed. As though there was something wrong with us being on a date. It was an insult to both of us really.

@gc4644 10 ай бұрын

90% of all "good guys" are invisible to 80% of all women.

@frno1073 10 ай бұрын

Do you feel invisible?

@V0ltron 10 ай бұрын

Because when they're younger they're going through their "fling" phase. And the good men are all taken by the time they finish playing around then they complain about no man wanting them, in their late 30's and 40's.

@Nick-cw9my 10 ай бұрын

there are plenty of attractive women with loser partners well into their old age

@timallen643 10 ай бұрын

There are a couple possibilities, he could be the rebound, he could be the bad boy that her parents didn't want her to date, she may love him, but thinks she can change him and make him better. She could also be like the initial interviewer said insecure about herself so her insecurity shows in the person she's with and some guys do the same thing.

@Comeback180 10 ай бұрын

Many of them claim including teenage girls they want a kind, loyal, nice, genuine and committed guy who puts in the effort but the next thing you know they dated a man totally opposite of what they wanted. Then that douchebag will give her less attention, manipulate her, cheat on her, be a playboy, act like a narcissist. She'll cry be heartbroken then start looking for "Mr Right between age 25-30. They are less desirable getting closer to 30. Cycle repeats again and again.

@D1G1TALSYNAPS3 10 ай бұрын

The wall

@ATLBraves1992 10 ай бұрын

Couldn’t have said it better myself

@alecbaq4818 10 ай бұрын

I am so happy that someone FINALLY addressed this topic. I have seen so many gorgeous women go out with trash guys and I never understood why. It made absolutely no sense to me and it was extremely frustrating, but the answers you gave here make sense. In fact I have heard these explanations before but I always had trouble accepting them. It is true that looks can be deceiving and you never know what it going on in some ones life or mental state. Thank you Courtney for finally addressing this.

@mrah2423 10 ай бұрын

I'm getting seriously put off dating atm due to the amount of low quality women who just want fun. So I'm just going to work on myself.

@drewred9308 10 ай бұрын

Totally agree Courtney! I’m in my early thirties and when I was growing up, I felt like people had a broader and fairer definition of what a “loser” was; now people just seem to equate it with what a person looks like, at least on first impression. But for real, do most people think if someone doesn’t look good but is educated, smart, good morals etc, that that person is really a loser and someone who looks great but isn’t smart and is a total dooch is a winner? If so, then modern society really is in a bad way.

@justacoginthefkery 10 ай бұрын

No joke! I don't understand ppl anymore. "Women only go after the money wielding Chads & that's bs!" to "women only date losers & that's bs!" So if an attractive woman dates a guy who is deemed less attractive than her, she's a problem. If she dates a guy who has a decent income, she's a problem. I recently went on a lunch date with an average-looking guy because he seemed like a cool guy to spend time with. I like his personality, we have good convos, he's respectful. We're out ordering lunch, a group of men walk past, one says really loudly "I can guess how HE landed that one... money". The others laughed & agreed. Tbh, I consider my own looks on the average end so I wouldn't even consider myself out of his league or anything. It was seriously an insult to both of us as though he's not "enough" to land a date & I must be a gold digger. We can't just be 2 ppl enjoying eachother's company?

@drewred9308 10 ай бұрын

@@justacoginthefkery I’m sorry to hear that, people like that are so boring and annoying! I live in Australia and I would say, for the most part, people aren’t that overtly insulting, but some definitely are, while others tend to express their prejudices in more subtle ways. I would consider myself an average or maybe slightly below average looking guy - if you’re measuring attractiveness in a purely objective sense - but because I live in a trendy beachside inner suburban area with a lot of above average attractiveness people, and because my red hair and fair complexion (no freckles at least, haha) make me stand out, I do cop quite a lot of crap from people in a more low key kind of way, i.e. whispers, people making comments after I’ve walked past etc… and it’s something that was hardly an issue for me until my late teens/early twenties which has gradually grown worse over the years, which is very frustrating at times, and definitely not how I envisaged my adult life being. Despite that, I’ve still being able to tick most of the main “boxes” in other areas of my life, but in some ways I feel as though I’ve “failed to launch” on account of the issues with being accepted for my appearance, which I actually received quite a few complements for in my younger, and I think it was made worse by the fact that social media first started taking off around the time I left HS, which was also the time a popular show came out in Australia which led to a large increase in anti-redhead sentiment, which I guess goes to show the impact media and people’s perceptions can have on individual preferences, including which sort of conversations and comments are considered socially acceptable.

@justacoginthefkery 10 ай бұрын

@@drewred9308 lol ppl in the US have ALL the audacity these days. I 100% agree that social media has greatly impacted human behavior & perception. All in the worst ways! The last decade there's become such a huge focus towards measuring success or human worth on material & such shallow things, instilling hate & fear amongst ppl for the slightest of things. There's actually 20 yr olds feeling like total failures for not being able to make 100k immediately after graduation, not having thousands of social media followers, etc. Why? Because of what they're constantly fed by the so-called "gurus" & influencers. It's bizarre how far down the hole social media has taken us & I'm so ready for ppl to start waking up to the damage so it can be addressed & fixed. The digital age has done nothing but make ppl delusional about reality, more judgemental & antisocial.

@libertycosworth8675 10 ай бұрын

Another great video Courtney! I especially liked you adding this to your narrative: "If you are approaching dating with this mindset or placing value on things that don't actually contribute to a healthy relationship - it's probably not going to end very well for you" - this one of the deeper truths of many interpersonal relationships, and you nailed it here. 💪👍

@elliptical29 10 ай бұрын

In my experience, I have known many women who openly stated/admitted why they date or have relationships with loser type guys based on the following: 1. She thinks he will change, and has the potential to change and be a better person. This one is especially true when women stick with the same guy for even years and years only to get themselves badly burnt in the process. 2. She likes a guy to always have control over knowing he will not have the money/finances and resources to live his own life and do the things like pursue hobbies, interests, see his friends and family that is independent of her. 3. She is into the same things he is into, like drugs, alcohol, and wants to live his kind of lifestyle and wants to avoid any responsibility like pursuing a career, having a family, living up to expectations as an adult. 4. She likes the chaos and drama of having a guy who is unreliable and unpredictable, so even if this causes her distress, she secretly enjoys having lots to complain about and be the centre of attention.

@nickcox1408 9 ай бұрын

Yeah....about sums it up

@dontokoi30 10 ай бұрын

Being the special snowflake who melts the badboy's mysterious icy heart has been a cornerstone female fantasy forever. An earnest and polite man will be viewed as dull and not a challenge, simply because his communication and intentions are clear.

@J_C838 10 ай бұрын

Courtney, your take on this is gold! I really appreciated your deep dive on this too! Thanks for such great content that focuses so much on self improvement, and healthy relationships! You’ve seriously helped me navigate this dating world with so much clarity!

@xon1co 10 ай бұрын

People who understand others as winners or losers are the worst. I've won and I've lost. When you win everyone wants to be your friend, when you lose most don't want you around. In both life circumstances there will be people who are there when you win and when you lose, those are the people that matter, the rest is just for fun at best although personally I don't even like to hang out with them because I think those who like to hang out with you only when the going's good suck bigtime . Everyone will lose somehow in this life, it's when you lose that the greatest characters are formed, how you act in defeat will teach how to be an even better winner and when you win you will know humbleness and compassion with those who have lost.

@Vegaswill714 10 ай бұрын

One of Courtney Ryan's best videos, IMO. Great job. The last few minutes, the summary, are priceless. One thing I would add is that all women and all men are individuals. We are attracted to different things, one woman might be attracted to athletic guys, another woman attracted to studious, or smart or artistic guys. There are certainly many women attracted to "bad" boys, but it is absolutely not 100%. The trick is to find a lady you feel attracted to, who is also attracted to you. Courtney is right on target when she tells guys to work on improving themselves to attract the kind of woman they want. Go back to school, go work out, take up a new hobby or sport. You never know where you will find the love of your life, it is truly a random thing. Guys, the thing you need most in this game is perseverance.

@justacoginthefkery 10 ай бұрын

Well said! One guy might decide another is a "loser" for all kinds of silly things from income to his car or looks. But, he may be the guy treating her with respect without putting her on a pedestal, making her laugh, have great communication skills, be loyal, resilient, hardworking & overall a quality partner for her. It's not up to others to decide who a woman should or should not pick. Same with men. It's also insane to me how it's "hot women only go after money-wielding chads" or "hot women only go after losers"... but if an attractive woman were to date an average guy, that's somehow a problem if someone else deems him a "loser" or "not attractive enough for her"? Make it make sense?! I'm seriously tired of this shallow, judgemental society.

@TheBoomBoxGuru 10 ай бұрын

As hard as it is to admit this, that last statement you made hit me in the chest like a brick!! I've recently allowed myself to get to a jealous point and I don't like it. I know that I'm better than that and it's not something that is normally apart of my personality. I'm glad I clicked on this video because it opened my eyes to the fact that I'm allowing a negative trait to consume my mindset. Now I can quickly correct that error and focus on what is most important, which is to improve myself and get to the point in life where I want/need to be.

@smallworld707 10 ай бұрын

This was deeper, more exhaustive, and more insightful than I had imagined. Thank you!

@smallworld707 10 ай бұрын

That's what she said. Badum Tss!

@cymbergan 10 ай бұрын

This helped me understand three of my experiences, put together. Courtney, thank you for sharing your thoughts on women who are unsure of themselves and us guys who need to know when to “walk away.”

@deltapope1 10 ай бұрын

Both attractiveness and being a loser is both based on perception. What if the so called attractive women doesn't perceive herself as attractive, and she doesn't perceive the guy she's dating as a loser.

@TomNook. 10 ай бұрын

BINGO

@CalmKitten184 10 ай бұрын

Perception is key to so many things.

@LITTLEDANCERSADHU993 10 ай бұрын

perception is reality@@CalmKitten184

@danwarner7816 10 ай бұрын

Rule applies now but in education no 😅

@liptongtr 10 ай бұрын

Nah in my experience the girl definitely knows she's objectively attractive, I'm not sure if she's sees the boyfriend as a "loser" though even though he can't even hold down a job

@bittersweetindustryexecutive 10 ай бұрын

I think by making this video Courtney just graduated KZfaq school. (Topic, different perspectives, depth, nuances, showing compassion, pertaining to men AND women, her presentation was ace). One of the best videos I've seen her do. I think a lot of it has got to do with what society thinks is a loser vs what a person thinking for themselves thinks is a loser. Sometimes things like peer pressure can cause someone not to follow their heart because there's this generilized idea that society has instilled in us that someone must be a loser because they either have ... or don't have... So I guess becoming a person that thinks for themselves is important here. Cheers!✌

@CourtneyRyan 10 ай бұрын

Oh you are too kind! 🥹 thank you!

@syttorak7629 10 ай бұрын

Couldn't tell you but honestly I'm really sick of seeing beautiful women get treated like shit while I've been single for 10 years. I mean we all know life isn't fair in general. But this whole thing with women acting like fools, and then blaming us because they can't find a good man...? It really needs to stop yesterday.

@pastelmoon9118 10 ай бұрын

it is their own fault for staying with person who treat them like shit. They need to take responsibility of healing themselves and also learn how to notice early signs from possible toxic and abusive person. Will prevent same case happening again

@mrquick6775 10 ай бұрын

If they like it hell, I love it.. 🤷🏻‍♂️

@thomasdee1980 10 ай бұрын

I know what you mean. It is fustrating, but ultimately her choice. The problem though is that either she is damaged herself or else she loves playing the martyr as a lot of women love the attention they get from being in an unhealthy relationship (especially as they can play the victom and therefore pretend that all the issues and problems in the relationship are their partner's fault). Either way, she is best avoided

@SartorialisticSavage65 10 ай бұрын

Teehee Natural selection.

@Steve0904 10 ай бұрын

Can I just say as a new subscriber that just found this channel today I really appreciate the real talk that you come out with on this channel, and that you don’t seem like the man bashing type. Also you realize that some men can be slow to pick up signals or that women are in fact complicated sometimes. I hear so many women these days saying all encompassing stereotypical type stuff like “men are a bunch of assholes who needs ‘‘em anyway” etc…and I just think those women haven’t found the right person yet (and it usually happens when women are among their friend groups so you only hear one side of the story). Some men are assholes but that’s another story. Anyway long story short I love the tips and your collabs with other girls, and I think this channel is a breath of fresh air. ❤

@rusty2811 10 ай бұрын

Your perception of this is absolutely bang on! I just plain and simply love you

@jonsmith9728 10 ай бұрын

thank you so much courtney, i've had a long time of relationships going south without actually figuring out why the woman I was dating were ditching me for guys with "unhealthy" habits and characteristics lets just say, this makes complete sense

@Wlodixpro 10 ай бұрын

I recently dated a girl most guys would rate a 5 on a good day, but since I am not fully driven by my primal needs, I gave her a chance because she seemed nice, I vibed well with her... at the beginning. The more I got to know her the less similiraties we had, I am ambitious, I train almost every day, while she is the complete opposite - not much going on, not big dreams, no discipline, very lazy. I used to be a fat loser with insecurities some years ago and I think that maybe because of my lower self esteem than it should be I opt for less than I actually could have, because I am just grateful for anything honestly. I overlooked her flaws even though now they seem like huge deal breakers, a walking red flag, but since I had never had that before, I was just grateful that I have something , ya know? Well, because of the lack of similarities between us and huge red flags within her (which took some time to figure out) I broke up with her because the more I gave her (my time, my feelings, my money, my attention), the less she respected me and the less she was interested. I am trying to be the best human I can be and since I am somewhat of an empath, I just felt the lack of interest and respect towards me and simply told her about it, just wanting it to be fixed. Well of course it went not as I expected, she basically threw a tantrum and my speech went over her head, she wasn't trying to listen to me and fix our issues but instead blamed me and kept disrespecting me even more in that moment. I am not a loser anymore and I highly respect my time and sanity so I just said "ok fine, I cannot see this going any further" and decided to break up. This wasn't a long relationship but It was pretty much my second one ever, and the strongest feeling ever (Im 23, rather mature), so I was very thankful it happened at all. This literally happened 2 days ago and Im kinda sad and dissapointed that this had to be so short. She didnt even try to fix our issues, after i proposed a brake up she just happily said "good", so I guess she was lying about the feelings she had (she would lovebomb me the whole time and praised me to everyone she knew very early into our relationship - I know huge red flag, but I enjoyed it because I had never had that before - nobody seemed to care as much as she did). Thankfully, because of my past I take a long time to develop a strong connection (but when I do its super strong), so I don't really regret it even though I cant stop thinking about it, and also I dont really miss her, just miss the good time I had and the potential future we could have. It hurts a little, but I am thankful to God or the world or whatever that it happened. The conclusion though: Look for a girl with big boobs, because If she has a shit personality, at least she had nice boobs. If she has big boobs and nice personality, then you are a lucky bastard and found a wifey.

@spankeyfish 9 ай бұрын

Better a short crappy relationship than a long crappy relationship.

@jasonhurst8599 10 ай бұрын

Your point about looking beyond a person's looks (or other surface level attributes) and consider their more deeper qualities and/or issues is why I think and feel that how much you truly CARE about the specific person should mean a lot more not only overall, but even moreso to where you should rank on their list of possible "partners". Not only that but if you truly do care ABOUT the person - and are attracted to them - you shouldn't "toss them aside", or lose interest just because they may have a few issues. If you truly do CARE ABOUT them, you would want to try and help them work through their issues - or at least try and be supportive and understanding. (Especially since no one is perfect themselves ). As long as your own personal safety or well being isn't in jeopardy. So overall CARING ABOUT the person should mean a lot more than it generally does.

@506thparatrooper 10 ай бұрын

Very comprehensive discussion of a complex relationship pattern that does not provide a simple, one answer to this important question. I would emphasize your warning to men and women both to ask oneself why I am attracted and/ or attracting such a person(s). Slight modification to your saying that captures some of your : "Good looks may get you to the front door but only good character lets you enter." or "Good looks that got you in the door, might also show you the door!" Great discussion and insights. Thank you!

@orionschroeder9401 10 ай бұрын

Beauty shines from the inside out, whether you’re speaking about men, or women. Our society/culture/social media has set a perception of what is “attractive”. What one person finds attractive in another, may NOT be attractive to another. Happiness comes from within, it’s what you share with others, in terms of positive energy. It’s nobody’s job to “make someone else happy”. If you truly want to find someone who is “beautiful” look for someone who has good moral family values, honesty, trust, and loyalty as the keys to building any successful relationship. Love, and respect go hand in hand with those in any personal relationship. Thank you Courtney for sharing this video today, cheers!

@orionschroeder9401 10 ай бұрын

@T-elegram.RealCourtneyRyan I DO NOT use T-elegram.

@VideoGameRoom32 10 ай бұрын

I know a woman who dated a loser and the bigger the loser he became the more she fell in love with him. Interesting. She's also a loser. When he gave he roses it was a huge turn off for her.

@gc4644 10 ай бұрын

Women are just sooo fd up, sometimes they make absolutely no sense with zero critical thinking skills..

@cbennett6093 9 ай бұрын

I had a 25 year old tenant who was a loser- womanizer, unemployed, abusive to women. He treated women like his cars- used and abuse, throw away, get another. I have been married for nearly 30 years to an attractive woman, inside and out. Therefore, being old school, I was befuddled as to what I witnessed, as physically attractive women came and went often to see him. A younger friend explained his take on it- these low value/low self esteem women want a lesser guy as to not outshine them. Said womanizer has long since been evicted and is in prison until next year for beating up his girlfriend. She is still with him. SMH.

@nobodysperfect06 10 ай бұрын

One social meet up group I attended lately, one of the guys there told me he sadly didn't get his very first girlfriend until he was 30, while he is happy about having a girlfriend now, he still gets kind of depressed and bitter and resentful over having been single that long. Feels he didn't grow up having a normal youth because of being single that long. Causes him to envy and feel resentment and feel bitter when he sees couples out there younger than him. He has the mindset that he feels if he had been born a woman at least an average plain-looking woman, then there is a guarantee he would not have been alone or single that long. Since women are always guaranteed attention or dating options because for all time women have always been on the receiving end of sexual attention. A lot of guys hate and resent how nature and reality dictates that men have to make the first move all the time and be the initiators and do the pursuing but unfortunately there's no other way. Yet people think men still have the better end of the stick in the dating world than women do, especially when men are far more likely than women are to be single that long, be alone or single longer, or to have a lonely journey, yes men and women each have different difficulties or different issues to deal with but being alone or single later than normal is normally never an issue or never a problem for women. He says he feels angry and mad whenever people and Society say that he should feel grateful that he has a girlfriend now and that he has no right to feel angry and bitter that he was single and alone that long. Or why get angry and upset about what didn't happen in the past. Well he has a right to feel how he wants to feel and my situation was not much different from his

@thiacari 10 ай бұрын

Many of the women that are virgins until 28-30 (I know a few), are because they feel so shy, overwhelmed of the dangers, not brave enough to face dating, too sensitive to negative feedback, uncomfortable with their body, society tells them they don't match beauty standards. These women in their 30s start gaining some confidence, find good friends that introduce vetted quality men. Are these women bitter? Bitter that the society, together with her personality type, caused her to not have a partner when she was young? Should she blame men, for not having a sensitive great guy proactively reach out to her and treat her gently enough to gain her trust? No, these women are usually happy, they found a man and get babies and are happy they never have to date again.

@rodolfomorenoiii135 Ай бұрын

With women are different compare than men. Society is the main factor what doesn't allow us to be at ease. When Society sees women single they consider her as an independent women that's working on herself. While Society sees men as single they consider them as gay and losers.

@JohnnyinCLE 10 ай бұрын

Pretty good and comprehensive analysis, as always. I agree, that I couldn't fairly assess what "loser" means, if the topic can be ambiguous. All I know is that when it comes to dating, that I care most about her character, her heart (will, ambition and caring), and her outlook in life. While who I date is pretty attractive, I can't say that looks measure as highly on the scale of desires anymore for me. Cleveland has a lot of attractive women, so that might be part of it. But if a woman is sweet, caring, has strong conviction, and is, at times, selfless, in the way she treats others? That's wifey material there, folks. At some point? If you're like me? You already make enough income to not care about what's on their resume, what's their net pay, nor what's her suffixes. To me? A winner is a good person, who tries to make their home and world a better place, for themself and others around them.

@TheSaneHatter 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for calling out the possibility of "jealousy" in the TikToker's tone; it was the first thing I thought when he started talking. And while I don't know how many of the dynamics you mentioned that this crosses over with, let me throw out anohter, possible factor in a pretty woman's chocie to date someone "unseemly": Ugly Duckling Syndrome. Someone whose looks matured late may not have grown up thinking of themselves as attractive, and so it shows in their selection of partners. After all, research shows that many of us seek out, and may even be happier with, someone as attractive as we are. Howuiever, we can also guess wrong about who that is, and an "ugly duckling" type can have their vision particularly blinded.

@richard381able 10 ай бұрын

I am 62, so have a lot of experience in this topic after 3 marriages. I am an average Joe, but successful and I dress well. The way I dress usually starts the conversation that results in the first date after a long initial talk. I can spot the golddiggers right away and leave them behind. I now have three women that I date between the ages of 24 and 42. They are all great ladies and I am blessed to have them as friends.

@oldkayakdude 10 ай бұрын

If you learn anything about a woman's past relationships it will reveal her patterns that will reflect who she is.

@gc4644 10 ай бұрын

Usually the train wreck types will always tell you "it was the guys fault".

@lawrence31415 10 ай бұрын

I should probably get one of those "Loser Loser" whistles from SpongeBob if I want to step up my dating game! Happy Sunday, Courtney and Fellow Viewers. Remember, always aim to be a WINNER! :)

@mem1701movies 10 ай бұрын

I met SPONGEBOB

@lawrence31415 10 ай бұрын

@@mem1701movies lol, maybe one day I will meet someone who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, ... who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this KZfaqr who met SpongeBob 😂

@user-kt6bk9cb8w 10 ай бұрын

@@lawrence31415hey so I have a girlfriend and me and my girlfriend hugging and my girlfriend was putting her hand on my lower body what does that mean

@donaldmackerer9032 10 ай бұрын

Once again good job Courtney. At times you are a voice of sanity and Common Sense in a world that has run amok through social media. It's good that you're trying to put people's feet back down on the Earth.

@pastorearl180 10 ай бұрын

Are you describing your relationship? Experience is always the most insightful lesson. I admire your honesty.

@joebeta1837 10 ай бұрын

Three reasons: 1. Women love drama. 2. Women want what other women have/want. 3. Women love tough guys. I'm a good person myself. I work hard, good ethics. I have my own home. I have a full set head hair, no pot belly. I earn my pay. I'd say I'm not ugly. I've always been curious what my coworker boyfriend/husbands look like, and they're all tough looking. None of them look like me: a good, kind guy.

@rsbcenter 10 ай бұрын

then dont be a puss

@thiacari 10 ай бұрын

Depends on the personality and profession of the women! I'm in construction and I love nerdy booky guys! Engineers often love teachers. Business entrepreneurs end up with sports instructors. Maybe the women who love your type are not in your industry?

@sachinmistry1 10 ай бұрын

I would describe myself as a nice dorky guy who treats others well. I'm short and friendly looking. I think women generally want someone who is tougher and more masculine. This is probably why I'm not as successful with dating.

@thiacari 10 ай бұрын

@@sachinmistry1 There is research that women with higher estrogen (short, emotional, big eyes, small nose, high voice) tend to be attracted to men with more testosterone (tall, strong jaw, proud), and vice versa. Then again women that are more balanced in their feminine/masculine body and brain type (wider shoulders, bigger jaw/nose, quiet confidence, less make-up oriented), end up with more balanced men (smaller jaw, less competitive and aggressive, ability to discuss and negotiate, no great height difference). This might be nature's way of balancing. So instead of wondering why some girls go for other guys, try and find the girls for you! You might notice that their personality type also suits you better, with less drama and jealousy. (I'm the sporty ambitious type and men kept telling me no one would like me, even my pretty face couldn't save me. Gradually I started to recognize the type of men that do like me. After that life has been easy! High testosterone men bring out my competitive nature, but lower ego guys bring out my nurturing side. I can fix things, talk about work, don't have to wear heels. Balanced guys join me in our mixed soccer games, share childcare duties, no ego rants or getting aggressive for nothing... Balanced guys are the best!)

@sachinmistry1 10 ай бұрын

@@thiacari Oh interesting! Those are great points to keep in mind. Thanks!

@kenrickbautista6141 10 ай бұрын

I really wish there's a woman out there who's just as wonderful and good as me. 😔

@pace1195 10 ай бұрын

I'm certain there is. The chances she feels the same about you is pretty small though.

@kenrickbautista6141 10 ай бұрын

@@pace1195 unfortunately

@SyndicShadow 10 ай бұрын

I'm sure there are plenty... question is, will you take them when they pop up?

@kenrickbautista6141 10 ай бұрын

@@SyndicShadow yes

@SyndicShadow 10 ай бұрын

@@kenrickbautista6141 well in that case you're set

@kay88188 10 ай бұрын

Another great video as always. How I thought about it was by first defining a loser in society's eyes as someone who is mature, responsible and who follows the rules and is "boring" and then a "non-loser" as someone who is popular, parties a lot and does not care about much except having fun. Then I'd say attractive women date the losers because they end up seeing that Mr "living on the edge party 24/7" is simply not going to cut it in the long term where building and raising a family happens.

@lucasespinola4810 10 ай бұрын

I always wondered why I see women with losers, and I like to believe I'm a pretty stable person, and I'm like why is she with him? But when you said that they could be a loser themselves even if they are good looking, and to not compare yourselves and to look in the mirror, brought clarity.

@davidacer4291 10 ай бұрын

She can have the thug/bad boy. I wish them well and keep it moving. When I was in my mid 20s I had a girl say. “Dave I can’t be with you cause I’m not used to being treated right.” Translation… SHE AIN’T SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO ME. When girls talk about thugs and bad boys she is describing what she is sexually attracted to.. As a guy Ive always dodged the bullet cause they end up 300 lbs, cheated on and alone…

@SkullyTheDeadSpartan 10 ай бұрын

This channel is a breath of fresh air, man. Seriously, it is.

@ryanhebert2374 10 ай бұрын

My standards for an ideal woman is the following. • Attractiveness • Common Ground • Independence What I care about is a good quality woman. Someone who’s beautiful, down to earth, loyal, kindhearted, and etc. I don’t care if she’s rich and wealth and money is not important to me beyond what is necessary and that is how it should be. Too many times throughout the course of relationship history the importance of money is widely overstated and exaggerated when you get into a romantic relationship with someone you’re not in it for the money you’re in it for the person that you’re spending the rest of your life with. It’s no different than a marriage, marriage these days is more often treated like a contract as opposed to a spiritual union between a husband and his wife in the presence of God.

@justacoginthefkery 10 ай бұрын

Here's something I'd like to point out that came to mind: the idea of "she's out of my league" or "she must be stuck up", "she's probably a 304" = "why bother trying" so no one does. "Don't compliment women because you don't want to feed their ego" or even intentionally putting women down because "they need to be taken down a peg". This all comes off as both verbal & nonverbal social feedback of "you're too ugly to date". Humans rely on social feedback to understand where their place is in the world, whether they need to adapt or continue what they are doing. So what happens? This all becomes a narrative that sets the stage of what her options seem to be which then sets the stage for who she dates. She may not compromise on character, but she will compromise on looks or other superficial things. Isn't that what men want anyways? For women to not be delusional & not aim higher? Where's that line between "pick better" & "lower your standards"? If women want to date a certain type, they're wrong & delusional & deserve to be put down. If they choose to date down, they're wrong & deserve to be put down. Where's the line?

@drip369 10 ай бұрын

2:57 yes men are ranked by their looks their status there sociability and their morals where women are ranked based off of their face, and the body is either bonus or passable. This is why it's important to spend plates and to get to understand how to look for red flags and green flags so if you find a hearty that is terribly wrong for you, she isn't like material and not girlfriend material, either recreational use only, and if she's got crazy eyes, DO NOT have recreation at your place; DO NOT let her know where you live

@garypierce7380 10 ай бұрын

The only ranker that matters is you. Stop letting strawmen in your brain mess up your life.

@justacoginthefkery 10 ай бұрын

Ppl like this make me sick to my stomach. If you use ppl for so-called "recreation" you aren't deserving of a good partner yourself. No better than a good digger.

@ChrisW1019 10 ай бұрын

Hi Courtney, what are some characteristics and qualities I should look for in a wife and future mother to my children? What qualities and characteristics do good women look for in a future husband and father to their children?

@codybain6788 10 ай бұрын

Watch how she treats others. You want a girl that's kind to the server, family, friends etc.

@Albemarle7 10 ай бұрын

They are not lookin for a future untill the wall hit. Some not even then. All that matters is the short term thrill, and the Primal Femail Fantasy.

@infinitymfg5397 10 ай бұрын

@4:35 A person can be "kind" and "nurturing" and still be drawn to losers because they themselves are broken. This is the whole 'dating a project' or 'I can save him' scenario. Something in his poor character resonates with her. I think that this is where a lot of women let themselves off the hook; it's almost a trope at this point.

@jbernal682 10 ай бұрын

Gosh Courtney. Love your advice. You're so wise.

@MrBlue3rd 10 ай бұрын

My first Girlfriend I had in high school was heavier than me and I questioned often if I was attracted to her. I was the prize to her and was often being showed off to her friends. I had the wrong mindset about it where I thought "a girl likes me and I might as well take advantage of it." I should have said no because I know I could have done better.

@garypierce7380 10 ай бұрын

In what way could you have done better....found someone who wasn't obsessed with appearance?

@renznetwork 10 ай бұрын

@@garypierce7380 He's saying that he could have done better by dating someone he was actually attracted to. Would you want to date someone who questioned whether or not they were attracted to you? Would you want to date someone you weren't attracted to?

@garypierce7380 10 ай бұрын

@@renznetwork I guess what I'm saying is she was more concerned about looks than him. He should've dated someone he was attracted to based on more than appearance and a sense of obligation.

@MrBlue3rd 10 ай бұрын

@garypierce7380 I didn't have the sense of wanting to pursue her and she made the first move. I just took advantage of the situation as I didn't think I could do any better.

@timothygibney159 10 ай бұрын

We're men. We are supposed to date down . Only women date up. If she finds you a winner her hypergamy won't kick in and she won't wander and cheat of disrespect you and take it out on you why she had to settle

@IntelligentEating 10 ай бұрын

Attention. Their currency

@drip369 10 ай бұрын

Attention: currency for losers Praise: currency for good girls

@bobtimster62 9 ай бұрын

One of the saddest things I've heard from people, mainly guy friends, is "Even a bad relationship is better than no relationship". Trust me, no, it isn't. Been there done that. The best piece of advice a friend of mine ever gave me was, "You're incredibly upset now. But when you look back twenty years from now, you'll realize that it was fu**ked up. And you got out of it".

@yehudabarnett7575 10 ай бұрын

You’re so smart! I love your content! I stayed with my ex longer than I should have because she was so good looking…that and the whole trams bond thing. Not going to lie when a woman is great looking men are willing to overlook a lot.

@Pendragon501 10 ай бұрын

I look at women with this general rule of thumb (because it seems to be the most accurate). The more attractive the woman is, the worse her personality it.

@Cee_Eff 10 ай бұрын

Because that loser is "hot like her", has "the look" and most importantly, the "hot chemistry" that is critical for a good healthy relationship😂

@user-nz8ml2jr1w 8 ай бұрын

This is quite possibly the best video I've seen on this topic. I'm glad you posted this!

@Seraphus87 9 ай бұрын

This does help explain some of the inexplicable relationships which I have witnessed. It also helps me see how superficial I am, not super pleasant, but worth realizing.

@NeilHaeger-mb4mk 10 ай бұрын

Courtney, you have such a calming voice:) To me it is 100% about establishing in your own life, what is acceptable and unacceptable character to yourself and lead by your own example. How one chooses to dress, look, etc. etc. is also in ones control. So make No Excuses and be all You can be:) Social Media as a whole has seriously tainted the reality here, with things such as love my body as it is. (just an excuse for making being overweight okay when 90% one can control it) Being overweight is not healthy. The entire "Woke" culture of what is a man and a women and so much more. I know that Social media as a whole has destroyed the foundational values of many Americans as they have no accountability over what they say or do or how they act. This creates a fake society and empowers others to think they have more going on than they really do. I use to teach psychological warfare in the Marines and if I applied that knowledge to where I would want to destroy a society...... "Social Media" fits the mold perfectly. As far as a good man dating or wanting to marry a women in America? I must say that in the past 5-10 years, the overall value in what a women brings to the table has fallen sharply. I have found when traveling around this great world of ours, that European, Slavic countries and others are in fact now a top choice for men wanting a good value women. Hence this new Passport Bro's thing. 😂Continue the interesting videos and best luck to you Courtney :)

@sharperminds4315 9 ай бұрын

The scuttlebutt among my sons' age group and friends was that if you wish to be in a happy marriage, find and marry a good Asian woman. My eldest (now 34) married a cute intelligent Vietnamese woman and he's very happy. My middle son (32) is engaged to a Vietnamese PhD student. Others of their friends have also married Asian women. Given the over-independence and narcissistic tendencies of the typical American-culture raised woman, I totally get the desire for marrying a non-American woman. Good tip on the Slavic countries as well. Having spent a year in Japan and being of mixed European / Oriental descent, I am more familiar with the Asian countries. And yes, American society IS being destroyed, willfully and intentionally. We are late down the road.

@carromboard3451 2 ай бұрын

Great advice! I think also some women get to the point of desperation and they need to be with someone. As you said, it is so important to build those virtues that you want in another person and work on them yourself. This is likely to attract the same types of people.

@christopherparbs 10 ай бұрын

I found this video quite interesting. I think if we all keep in mind that beauty is in the eye and mind of the beholder, we also need to start objectively stretching what that means for each of us in order to agree, internally on whom we're attracted to. Attraction on variying levels is key but if you think about a relationship like a structure you can ask yourself...do I only care about how the outside looks or does the foudantion need to be solid. The outside will ware and tear but the foundation will be hard to crack.

@Carlos-ln8fd 10 ай бұрын

Oh great point at the end. If you want to watch a movie about a guy that thinks of his romantic rival as "a loser" only to realize that he's projecting all these negative qualities on him out of envy I'd recommend Crimes and Misdemeanors. It's so good!

@ericwheat9540 2 ай бұрын

I was in a fantastic relationship and my wife of 17 years and 11 months ended when my wife died. I’m now ready to try and get back out there. I’ve been alone for 6 years and some women have tried to take advantage of me because I won’t move that fast. I still think it’s better to take it slow.

@akman7826 9 ай бұрын

Honestly, I find this video a great eye-opener. It gave me another side to how I view my past relations with women, and it's a lot of food for thought for me to reflect on.

@BALHAM69 10 ай бұрын

Happy Sunday Courtney 😊 Nice dress ❤ Hopefully i find the online booking i need for something tomorrow 😅 Almost at 600 thousand subscribers now 🎉

@CourtneyRyan 10 ай бұрын

Hi my friend!

@Googleistheantichrist 10 ай бұрын

I knew a very attractive, smart girl who was dating a guy much older than her when she was in high school. She was very shy and withdrawn and alternative. I think she had low self esteem. Jodi, I hope you got better in life and became healthy and happy

@MrMichaelSir 10 ай бұрын

"..... but.... she's hot.." 😂. That was awesome!

@nickdevlin3072 10 ай бұрын

Love this and agree this video a 100%, should make a video explaining the difference between standards and preferences, cause ppl mainly women get them mixed up hard! 👀👏

@andrewpena9041 10 ай бұрын

The problem is that I'm not attracted to obesity. A woman can be kind and generous. If she's obese, I'm not interested romantically. I'll be her friend, treat her super kindly, but I'm remaining celibate till I get married. I want to be with someone I'm physically attracted to if I'm going to commit myself to that person for eternity.

@rogersnick17 10 ай бұрын

You're channel's such a blessing.

@toasterpastries5811 10 ай бұрын

*As someone in college right now,: the vast majority of the hottest girls flirt and date (sleep with) the dumbest, least motivated deadbeat thuggish guys who don't do their homework, don't have any knowledge, and are the party-crowd bad-boys. It honestly amazes me for the following reason:* Girls even tell me I'm cute, highly intelligent and knowledgeable. I have muscles because I lift weights. I'm confident, well-spoken, and well-mannered. But I just can't get the same hot chics that go for these alcoholic street-goons. I can't compete. I don't get the same reaction. I'm flirtatious and charming but I only get the average and above average chics. The hottest girls date the guys with the worst grades, least amount of knowledge, and treat them like crap.

@Nick84525 10 ай бұрын

Since I had the police called on me from a woman just because I complimented her on what she was wearing and being nice I am done with American women

@andremotivation6561 10 ай бұрын

He's dead on! Thats why I can't when some of these guys, even some "redpill" men give women these number ratings just based on looks, your subconsciously putting them on a pedestal that dont deserve to be on, most can't live up to simple standards anyway.

@mikeokeefe9396 9 ай бұрын

Great video! Physicality is fleeting. Character and integrity should be the motivating factors.

@verbadum2298 2 ай бұрын

1:01 i wish i was told this as in middle school so i would of moved on from every toxic chick in my teens in 20s very quickly

@Harikejn 10 ай бұрын

I have no comment on this video. Not because that I don't want to say, it's just because, all what is told here is one big truth. Thank you very much pretty lady.

@blastermaster5039 3 ай бұрын

This actually reminds me of Gigguk and Sydsnap, both of them are youtubers too who, comparing the man to the woman, does make you question what she saw that made her attracted to him to the point they eventually marry. But then you saw Sydsnap and Gigguk are totally in sync with one thing that made them bond together - watching and having fun talking about anime and manga. And with that, you kind of understand why they're happy together all in all, which in turn makes me happy for them.

@indifilm 10 ай бұрын

A few of these have definitely described my past relationships.

@alanlee8590 10 ай бұрын

These so-called "losers" are often good with women. In particular, they know how to give them emotional roller-coaster, drama and unpredictability, something that a lot of women, especially women with issues or taurmas, love to experience, or even get addicted to. By contrast, all nice guys tend to provide are sense of security, care, peace and predictability, which, in the eyes of many women, are boring, hence the notion "women love bad boys".

@rsbcenter 10 ай бұрын

just dont give a sh t, that is all

@cheyennesmith3365 10 ай бұрын

A lot of the time the guys who claim to be gentlemen are usually not gentleman.

@jlrob85 10 ай бұрын

My 10th grade Health teacher 23 years ago who was a super babe being only 24 at the time said sometimes when you see a very attractive girl with an average dude is simple......he simply talked to her and asked her out.

@andriidanylov9453 10 ай бұрын

Thank You Courtney!

@dhanrajmohan701 10 ай бұрын

Public comment..God bless you ms Courtney ❤. Sharing your knowledge and inspiration with everyone. In any relationship between two persons needs trust and respect and care and commitment..feelings and memories and emotions and love . Kind words and loving words brings real happiness.

@harrylong4941 10 ай бұрын

issue of people with an abundance of self esteem is a bigger problem ( huge egos) thinking they “deserve “ the world but don’t believe they need to provide anything of substance