Exactly it's not that she refused him. It's how she did it.

Thank you for this video! Ser Criston is a really complex character and also one of my favourites, so I felt bad seeing people reducing to simply "an incel". That's like reducing Rhaenyra to "a brat" or Alicent to "a Karen".

It's interesting, because to me while Cole may have been attracted to Rhaenyra, but i don't think he every wanted to break his vow. I find their sex scene extremely hard to watch because he seems so conflicted and Rhaenyra doesn't seem to see or respect that at all. Not only does he highly value his honour and knighthood as a commoner, but it would also be a grizzly death sentence as he himself admits. People have said that she doesn't have power over him, it wasn't coercive, and he couldve said no, which is all blatantly false. She's a princess, and while he's a king's guard, he's a commoner sworn to serve him. He actually says stop in the beginning and doesn't reciprocate in the beginning. The proposal came across to me as someone who's desperately built up a romantic fantasy for himself in order to justify to himself what was essentially assualt. He seems to be trying to make it okay to himself, because its not so bad if they're in love and if they run away and get married. And then Rhaenyra rips down that fantasy and wants to continue to use him. I find that so tragic, and after diving deeper into analysing his character he's slowly moved up to be one of my favourites.

The double standard against Cole and the benefit of the doubt for Rhaenyra, by the fandom, is baffling. Rhaenyra whinges repeatedly about her duties to Criston and literally runs from them ('it is because nobody has ever held my position' episode 3, when Cole reminds her she is so otherworldly privileged compared to 99% of the population) then sexually coerces the same Criston despite his verbal refusal and initial unwillingness to participate despite Rhaenyra locking him in, kissing him twice, undressing herself and him, only to then throw those same duties she ignored and complained about right in Cole's face ('I may chafe at my duties' episode 5) the moment she's just ruined him and pushed him to break his vows for nothing but her immediate gratification, not even a real relationship. Rhaenyra can turn him into a sidepiece, her fling on a string, at the absolute expense of his oaths, his honour, risking him being gelded, tortured and executed, and out of utter last resort desperation he proposes an admittedly silly offer to escape and this is what people focus on to vilify him? Rhaenyra had a massive hand in selfishly ruining Cole just to get herself off (of course, after being spitefully used by Daemon) and Cole turning against her is one of the biggest examples of her immaturity and self-centredness exploding.

Rhaenyra even said, she doesn't mind the way they are currently at that moment, this relationship where Criston is not even a lover, just a man-whore of Rhaenyra. That feeling of being betrayed, played with sure does destroy his self-respect, and makes many of his action quite undestandable.

The fact is that Ser Criston wanted to run away WITH Rhaenyra, not without her. The alternative option she offered might not have been particularly ideal in his mind but was certainly better than nothing. I believe it’s possible Rhaenyra had genuine feelings for him, that his love for her wasn’t one-sided. In my opinion if she saw him as just a plaything and not someone she truly had feelings for, she never would’ve offered for him to continue to be her paramour. Also one more point to add, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen a Kingsguard break his vows, because as we all know Jaime Lannister did the same thing. Chronologically speaking that happened much later, after Ser Criston’s time, but still.

Rhaenyra did what she had to do, if they got married a heiress and a commoner it wouldn't work out or end good, not mentioning Viserys I but it would be a huge problem, *Spoiler* in the next episodes she will marry a velaryon prince which also proves the point she can't marry a commoner.

If he can't keep a vow he can't be trusted.

~ The thing is he NOT honorable...they have showed that in many ways! ~

But Rhaynera was 14 or 15 and he was 30 something 🤔

If everyone just did what society expected of them nothing would ever change. How many Nazi war criminals were just doing there duty during the holocausts? It is utterly disgusting what some people consider honorable.