My take on live and let live is - if everyone wears blue, don't attack the person who wears orange. You can be interested enough to ask why they wear orange and they can ask why you wear blue, but in the end, you can both wear the colour you choose because, live and let live.

For me, “Live and let live” means “Don’t force your own opinions and beliefs down someone else’s throat” You wanting to understand something that’s not what you believe, is actually quite refreshing; you’re wanting to understand it, not CHANGE it so that it DOES fit your beliefs. And that’s why I love you! 💕😘

Live and let live means tolerance to me. I'm happy to talk about issues, I'm keen to put across my point of view and understand others, but ultimately I'm not going to force someone into my way of thinking.

Or maybe "live and let live" simply means "don't go around interrupting and butting into other people's business if they don't ask you to and aren't hurting anyone, because you likely won't change anything 'for the better' and only piss somebody off"

Talk about it maturely, if you're curious, but don't force anything on anyone. Simple as that

Live and let live is less about "shut up" or "mind your business" and more about "don't judge". There's a fine line between being curious or wanting to understand, and judging behavior and circumstances. I happen to believe that we as a society have a right, sometimes an obligation, to judge behavior. It isn't the same as judging a person and who they are as a whole, but people equate it to that. That's why we hear a lot of that particular phrase, especially at a time when marijuana legalization and other vices are debated.

I say that not to shut down conversation but I feel adults have the right to live their life as they please as long as they are not hurting anyone. And yes it is fine to try to understand or have questions about someone's lifestyle that is different than your own. I don't get open relationships either but it works for others. I'm childfree so my lifestyle does get questioned..allot. People ask questions and pass judgment on me because I have made the decision not not have children. It doesn't affect or impact anyone but myself and my husband. Globally I'm not bringing another mass consumer to the world. And yes..I'll have a discussion with anyone who truly wants to know or understand my lifestyle. So for me..the statment..live and let live..is me accepting someone who thinks differently than I do.

I would love to sit down and have a great conversation with Mayim. 👏❤

I feel like 'live and let live' is something said when one feels like what's happening isn't a curious intrigue, but a judging inquisition. I'm all for 'live and let live', but only if the person I'm speaking with is for it, too. It's a two-way agreement. If I let you live, but you don't let me, that's not 'live and let live', that 'live and let someone else step all over you and decide your freedoms for you'. (Can you tell I'm a secular Jew living in Israel, feeling threatened by the new laws just passed? No? Oh, okay.) People who say 'live and let live' are feeling like you aren't letting them live, which is why they are reminding you of it. They say 'live and let live' because they feel judged, or attacked, which you obviously didn't mean, Mayim. It's fine to try to ask, to understand and come to a realization that you still don't agree with it, just make sure that all sides are feeling respected and not attacked.

Mayim I love that you make wonderful videos that elaborate on significant topics

I often think that 'live and let live' is misued. I conceptualize it as a form of acceptance rather than of non-engagement in other people life. I too believe that it is important to have conversations about 'troubling' issues, because words and deeds do matter. However, I always respect other people's opinion, except when it leads to socially dangerous behaviours, and that for me is to 'live and let live'.

Perfect explanation. We (my partner and I) personally are happy to let people live their life the way they want, however, if people are not willing to have adult conversation without shutting them down, being comical and dismissing the subject or even just answering "you don't/won't understand" you might as well not have any conversation and this is a problem. People are open to believe and enjoy whatever they like, but certain people cannot get so defensive if someone is honestly questioning how their hobbies make them happy, or something controversial. Having an adult, balanced conversation is the best way to discuss something, my partner and I do it ALL THE TIME! It's brilliant!

I do say, live and let live quite a bit. Not because I want people to go away, but because I want to stop hateful comments about things that don't affect them on a personal level. Like hateful comments about abortions or gay people getting married. A person getting an abortion or an LGBTQ couple getting married should not be looked down on with hateful comments. Live and let live, right? There's a difference between having questions and wanting to understand and just hurling out hateful comments. In other news, I shave because I have really thick dark hair on my legs and not shaving causes my legs to be painful when I wear pants.

I agree completely.... these things need to be open to discussion... respectfully but openly

Brilliantly said! My father always taught me to "think outside of the box" or like there wasn't a box ... to ask questions no matter the subject ....to learn and educate myself because no one has all the answers. I love your videos and how you state your opinion, ask questions, talk about things that others might not do. Thank you for this video!

Yes! Now the next time somebody tells me I should think less about the impact our behaviour has on society, I'll just show them this. Love your channel! ♥️

I love that you are talking about the issue of women feeling they have to shave their legs (or even worse wax them), I completely agree. I would love it if women understood their, our, bodies are beautiful as they are. And I think 'live and let live' is a weird comment cause it can mean so many things. I think you are always respectful when you talk about these things.

I believe we are responsible for our own actions and accountability for our actions. I also believe that we have a responsibility to each other.

"...Doesn't allow me to wonder, ask questions, & to try & understand" Well said! Yes, we can't "remove ourselves" from the problems of the world. Thank you!

You have a point when people are using "live and let live" to shut down a conversation, but people generally don't. They say that to highlight that although you might disagree with someone, they still have the right to hold and apply their belief to their life as they see fit. I think you're missing part of the point.

My personal favourite is 'whatever floats your boat', by which I mean that I am accepting the fact that we're all different and that difference is normal. I can't get involved in the intricacies of every situation, I don't have the desire, I don't have the time and yet I want to remain a peaceable, responsible human being who respects other human beings in all their wonderful, quirky brokenness. So, whatever floats your boat :-)

Did you know that mayim was actually mentioned in Big Bang theory before she joined the cast. In the physics bowl episode Rajesh says “You know who’s apparently very smart? The girl who plays TVs blossom,apparently she got a PhD in neuroscience or something” Also bear in mind this was mentioned before sheldon having a relationship with a girl

Wanting to learn and explore more about a certain matter and topic has nothing to live and let live. Caring about your friend about being intoxicated with alcohol is not about live and let live. Live and let live is not an excuse/reason to not care. Live and let live means if someone decides to live their lives a certain way that doesn't directly impact someone else negatively, you may inquire to gain understanding, but you don't judge or attempt to stop or persuade them that your choices about your live is better.

Brilliant! I teach HS English and it is nearly impossible to get a debate or discussion about ANYTHING going because everyone is afraid of offending people or being labeled as an -ist. It is extremely frustrating!

People should have a voice no matter who does or doesn't agree. It makes a good civil argument with valid points without hostility. I think making the videos you stated that you want to make, you should do it. It'll give people an option on what they think is best for them. People should have choices. Not forced to do what society thinks

I agree with much of this. And I can see from your examples how Live & Let Live can shut down important discussions. My first reaction to hearing that Live & Let Live isn’t great was to think of my religious family. I WISH they would live and let live. They’re not happy until they can legislate discrimination against gays or anyone that doesn’t fit into their religion. In the case of zealots who feel it is their place to punish and hide others for being different... well, they should aspire to such a humane sentiment. Mayim, you’re AWESOME! I love your work and love your kind soul!

I saw a huge amount of editing went into this presentation. It turned out very well and I appreciate the effort. This is a debate I've had brushes with in my mind a million times and have come across a lot of the points that you made. To put these points together in this short presentation is brilliant and was timely and much needed. Thank you and bless you.

WOW!!! Love this!!! You say this so well....I know you understand this....but I live around so many people that just judge all the time....and when I try to engage in conversation....it is then judged as well....the worst thing anyone has ever told me is this: "You shouldn't feel like that"....and that was in response to a deep emotional thought I exposed....to only be basically laughed at and then pissed on. Thank you for this! There is hope!!

I think most people say live and let live, when they think someone might be being judgemental or too nosey. I do that. But, I would never say this if someone is harassing others, or endangering themselves and/or others. I think it's about balance. Sincere and lovingly spoken questions are probably okay with most everyone. 💟

My problem with not letting people "live and let live" is that the person doing the interrogation almost always comes at them from a position of judgement. 90% of the time, the thing the person doesn't like is something that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with them, so why should the other person submit themselves to a conversation they may not want to have? Why should they have to entertain that person's interference? For example: someone doesn't like that I'm gay and genderfluid. It's their perception that this is a problem. Why should I treat it as if it was a problem by justifying it to them? Whether that interrogation comes from a good place (genuinely wanting to save my soul, for example) or a position of judgement is irrelevant. Does that give them the right to interfere? I don't think it does. The only time I feel it's acceptable to question someone in the way you imply would be if someone is actively hurting themselves or another person. Cases such as self-harm etc. But things like polyamorous relationships? They're not hurting themselves or anyone else, and therefore it's no business of mine. Different story if they choose to share. Then I'll have that conversation. I'm certainly not going to approach them about it.

I fully agree. I feel the same about the phrase "let's agree to disagree". It gives people the ability to not take responsibility for their actions, thoughts, and opinions. And it stops our ability to have open and honest conversations.

I have had “live and let live” said to me by co workers and always noted it was a conversation ender. Conversations are good and not for an argument it’s info gathering and useful not useless. Thanks Mayim

I believe we are responsible and accountable for our own actions but....we should also be aware of the people around us,and if they need help or advise we should allow ourselves to do this. If everyone was to say oh live and let live what sort of a more horrendous world would we live in,as the world we are in now isn't exactly good because people don't have the back bone to stand up and give there points of view across. Everyone just follows everyone else like lost little sheep.

I have the same thing. I’ll ask questions to understand someone and I’m labeled a hater. I’m not. I just want to know WHY you think that way!!

So wonderfully said. I am a person who speaks my mind, who post meaningful things on Facebook but always get the response of Live and let live or ignored. I live in a place I dont fit in and due to artificial conversations I just end up being a hermit or the comedian. I miss deep conversations that get you thinking and inspired. Thank you for sharing!

Thank you! I have the same issue with people who say we make a problem out of everything nowadays. I couldn’t figure out why I had such a problem with that. It is the same mechanism. It shuts down the conversation.

Live and let live actually means agreement between persons, groups, nations, etc., leading to non-aggressive co-operative behavior. Live and let live pretty much describes the Libertarian standpoint as well as self-reliance. You wander into abstract territory at 0:45 when you say that you worry about the impact that polyamory will have on human reactions but (of course) you are unable to describe possible harms or how they might happen. It's clear to see the impact that religion has on your thinking, akin to a holistic idealism which reduces the individual to society and puts strict limits on the personal. In making value judgments it's easy to rob others of their freedom and autonomy. Ask yourself if you are truly prepared to accept their reasons when they give them or are you looking to change their minds.

Could you do a video on the difference between race, ethnicity and culture? About their differences and where they may overlap? Because I feel like many people get them confused. Or even religion is in the mix sometimes because it's such a cultural thing. Such as I ask someone what ethnicity they are and they respond with, I'm Jewish. Not that that's not an acceptable answer but I find myself a little confused because I though that was a religion. Is it both? I'd love for you to give me an video on these topics for me and anyone else who might me confused. Thanks and I love you Mayim both for you and Amy. 😊

Loved this. Conversations are so important. It also reminds me of how some people misuse the quote, "am I my brother's keeper?" They think the scripture is backing up the "none of my business" attitude. But, the quote comes from the bad guy in the story--the man who has just murdered his brother. Whether you believe the bible is about God or just an important collection of mythological stories, the point of that story is that when we ask, "am I responsible for knowing if my brother is ok?" The answer is, "YES".

True depth comes from dealing with the REAL deep seated issues that sometimes, we ourselves are not willing to face.

On point. On fire. Couldn’t agree with you more. 👍🏾

That's a really good point!!

The way you explained "Live and let live" came as a total surprise to me. As a very empathetic person, I've always considered "Live and let live" closer to the saying of "Treat thy neighbour as you wish to be treated yourself" (Or however it goes, English isn't my first language). To me, it always meant to not only mind your own business, but to do so with an open mind. It's the first time I've thought that maybe me seeing the saying that way is probably my own philosophy (of caring for, looking out for and loving people unless they intentionally do you harm) colouring how I viewed it. Very interesting.

Really well explained and I cannot agree more. I don’t want to change people, but if there’s something I need to change, I want someone with a good intention to let me know what I am blind about. This is called self growth. If our bad behavior is cancer cells, we surely don’t want it to be ‘live and let live’. The difficult thing is life is full of complexity, where can we draw the line on responsibility? It boils down to self-knowledge or how much we are willing to understand ourselves.

'Live and let live' is a sentiment I feel we should all strive to live by. But it should only apply to things/situations that are deemed positive and healthy. If something causes physical, emotional, psychological, and/or spiritual harm to a person, animal, or the planet, it should be taken into question. For example, if someone dislikes black coffee and you love it, live and let live. Someone hating black coffee doesn't hurt anyone; it just makes their preferences different from yours. However, someone saying they hate black *people* is a racist concern, and common sense should dictate that it's an issue that needs to be addressed. Of course, we should always think critically and we should always ask questions. But once we do and a situation is deemed non-harmful, we should let it be and let people live their lives. I think what the real problem boils down to is when people disagree on whether something is actually harmful or beneficial. As Mayim brings up, the concept of open-relationships is kind of a mixed bag. You can see how someone can find nothing wrong with such a lifestyle, whereas someone else might have concerns over what social and sexual implications such a lifestyle can produce. When it comes to controversial subjects like these, it's good to question and hash it out in civil debates. Otherwise, we'll never come to an understanding. As well, to not question is to stop learning, and learning is something we should never stop doing.

❤️ I love your videos! I discovered you from my favourite show and I'm so glad I did!

Mayim thanks for elaborating on these difficult subjects. You are very informative.

I think you are one of the first people who have talked this tactfully and have used an argument that would make sense to anyone with an open mind regardless of personal views. Keep doing what you're doing because even though I don't agree with you sometimes, I always enjoy listening to your perspective and watching how you keep dialog alive.

I'm totally watching this with unshaved legs, and I'm Greek, so there is your visual.

True, but let's give weight to the context. I'm fine with the discussion of leg shaving, but it doesn't have the same life altering heaviness of alcoholism. Fair enough?

Totally agree with you. Hate it when people say "Live and let live" to shut someone up. especially when in fact, this quote only means: do not judge people based on their choices. nobody ever said anything about not discussing, not asking, not being curious and opinionated.

100% Never stop learning and stretching your mind. To me live and let live is not a conversation ender but a reminder that although I may not choose or agree with the life choices of another it is not my place to judge them (with of course the exception of those who are harming another being, then I have a duty to intervene). As for leg shaving, I find leg hair itchy but pit hair just hangs around.

Its all about how you phrase things. Its one thing to ask the questions and start a conversation its a whole other beast to start off sounding like your judging and condemning whatever the topic is. Just take a second look at your phrasing if your true intent is to start conversations.

In this society, people are not supposed to express whether they agree or disagree because it may or may not offend others... I just try and avoid people, surround myself with cats, books and tea because people are too sensitive..

I really like your perspective on the notion of "live and let live". I am one that uses that phrase too often only to avoid confrontation. It's a wussed out way of speaking my truth! The thruth is that I often question things, and outright don't agree with certain behaviors. Thanks Mayim! I just learned something valuable!

right on! :) no one wants to have a conversation anymore. they just want to either A: do wrong no matter what that is or B: not be challenged to actually think, care, open up.... "dont talk. just let me do this/say this/think this/believe this without being challenged to change or think or see something new.

You look Great!

A good example of an instant when "live and let live" doesn't work is about the environment. You can't really live and let live when people are destroying the one place in the universe where we know we can live and it's the only habitable planet we have accessible anyways.

I really appreciated this. It’s important to have the dialogue and to care. While some, I believe are saying “live and let live,” meaning, agree to disagree there are some that utilize that phrase to shut down dialogue. I love hearing others care enough to inquire and seek understanding. Thank you.

I love your concluding definition of "live and let live" because thats what I believe its about, its not about shutting up or not beeing able to discuss something, its about accepting other people's life choices, especially if they don't harm anyone in any way, but accepting doesn't mean your not allowed to ask or think about it ..it just means don't judge

I think you confuse accepting with approving. Just because we accept something doesnt mean we approve it, we can accept something and still try to change or improve it. It should rather be considered as a state of mind without resistance to the present moment. We dont judge yet we still can change or influence what is happening right now.

Hello, Mayim! You're very talented and beautiful. Don't change ❤

You are so refreshing! These are the kinds of conversations I use to have with my husband. You inspire me to try and revive that part of our relationships.

I totally agree with you!! You can learn much more from asking questions. Keep up the good job.

What's a "grockite(??? spelling) what's groc?

Me: watches this while depilating legs Also me: ...I think this is worse than shaving. Also also me: Sorry Mayim. (I know you're not judging. Why do I do it? I just hate leg hair :D )

Yup. It's another aspect of our continuing struggle to balance personal freedom & social responsibility.

Love your videos , I am one of those people who question every thing and love to get deep in conversation about many topics , I feel like very few people agree to talk and say live and let live , it’s not my business or that doesn’t effect me . I wish people would question things but not argue. I try to see things from different perspectives , your video made me feel I’m not alone thank you .

OK. Let me put it this way, and let's use the leg shaving example. You don't bother shaving your legs or armpits. I've read this in a couple of articles about you. That's fine. That doesn't bother me. But I often do shave. I like it. If we get into a discussion about this, and we can't arrive at a point where we have to agree to disagree on this...that is, if you're not willing to "live and let live" when it comes to my body hair...don't be surprised if I feel like you're trying to be a bloody control freak (which REALLY pushes my buttons) and I get *exceptionally* angry and say something like this: "Mayim, dammit, it's *MY* body and I'll shave every hair off my body, including my head, just to PISS YOU OFF!" This can be anything at all. How about veganism? You're a vegan. But my husband and I both eat meat - hell, I'm anemic and I have to eat it or I'll end up in the hospital and I don't think you're willing to pay my medical expenses - but if you start shaming us for eating it, then what's likely to happen? My husband, for one, will go get a plate of fried chicken or bbq spare ribs or a big juicy hamburger or whatever, and EAT THE F*CK OUT OF IT at you just because it makes you angry, as a way of shoving the point home that *he will never give control of his life over to you.* Do you see that the perception here is one of "you are trying to control me on this topic" and people WILL resist that VERY HARD? I guarantee you would be highly appreciative if Hubby and I just took a "live and let live" approach to such things as your practice of tznius and veganism. We have no interest in attempting to bully or shame or force you into dressing all hot and sexy, or into eating meat. This is a two way street, after all. "Live and let live" is a safety valve that de-escalates some hostile situations. "Live and let live" can be the thing that prevents people from either becoming estranged, or coming to blows, or even shooting each other over something really stupid. Something that isn't worth shooting another human being over. You get the idea. Give it some thought.

"Live and let live" is a thought-terminating cliche. Society is full of them, and it's infuriating.

This is similar to how I feel about the phrase ‘let’s just agree to disagree’. It shuts down the conversation, and stops any possibility of conveying further meaning. I far prefer to ‘continue this another time’ so that we can come back and maybe with more time and experience on a topic we might still come together and learn things, perhaps change perspectives.

Yes yes yes!!!! I have a friend that I have healthy, stress free discussions and debates with. We have an understanding that we cannot get upset with each other if we don't see eye to eye on something. We feel so good and energized after one of our discussions/debates 👍🏻

Mayim, as usual, I am so with you. I will quite happily discuss and explain anything. I think a lot of people are unwilling to because they are insecure in their decisions and so when questioned, they feel like someone is trying to make them change how they do things.

I agree with you so much here! I think it is really important to let others live as they see fit, but I also think it is so important for all of us to engage with one another to understand each other better, and to work together toward a better society. We can't do that if people are always trying to silence others because they are uncomfortable talking about the important things.

Honestly, I have always been a "live and let live" type person. However, this video brings up a great point. Understanding the world around us is very important. If we don't question people's actions, we'll never move forward as a society. I can understand why people would think that telling people how to live there lives is not okay. But we don't have to force anyone to do anything, we just have to remember to question it when necessary.

I agree that getting a better understanding helps remove fear, lead to acceptance and better society. The problem here is that it isn't often about accepting people's choices and becomes more a conversation about why they are making the wrong ones based on our views. Asking why someone in an open relationship and questioning it's impact on society already has a negative tone to it and that can be very well why the conversation is being shut down. It is not what you are asking, it is how and if people feel they are going to be judged then they often won't give you the time.

Happy I found your channel. I value and appreciate the courage to claim intellectual veracity beyond the preconditioned constructs we've often been preconditioned to just accept.

Spot on! I bring up my in-laws animal neglect and always get a shrug along with "just ignore it" and "we love them, everything's fine" its so frustrating as they see ME as the bad guy *eye roll

I also find so much value in trying to understand ideas or concepts that I don’t agree with or fully understand. I never really thought about how the “live and let live” attitude could really hinder that. This is a great video.

I had never thought of it that way before. Thanks for making me do so.

You have answered one of the most disturbing thoughts i keep having when faced with critical situations.. whether I should care, take responsibility or just live and let live.. thanks mayim

Mayim, I was actually asking myself a very similar question just the other day. There are things happening in the world around me and I was having a conversation with someone the other day about it and they were asking me why I care what other people do and I could not properly articulate why I cared. This helped so much. Thanks I don't want to change anyone but It does matter

Wow, that's a great point. I never thought about it that way, bit you're right: we should be curious and take the responsibility of discussing and understanding things that may have a real impact on people and society. Respectful discourse is probably the better way to approach controversy.

I am such a fan of the way you think! I can just imagine having a conversation with you! Thank you for your honesty, genuineness and being willing to talk about some challenging topics!

As the person that causes awkward silences due to talking about "weird or too personal" topics i appreciate you saying this. Its hard to feel engaged with those around me when they bury their heads in the sand.

I think it's good to have uncomfortable discussions but the " live and let live" is a good way to provide tolerance and understanding. I've always thought that way regarding many topics I didn't understand at the time or didn't have the opportunity to talk about. Relationships, religion and pro choice arguments have always been the topics I say live and let live with but I'm not shutout from talking about it. I enjoyed the topic of women's shaving there legs I haven't thought about it that way before. You are great!

You, otherworldly articulate lady, have explained exactly what real tolerance is. Suppressing questions and civil debate does nothing to bring us forward as a people, but stifles us, and is turning our misunderstandings and divisions into societal chasms.

I don't live and let live. I also feel dialogue is essential for understanding and growth. I'm not always great about getting that across and am often shut down when I try to ask about the reasons someone thinks differently from me. I personally enjoy being challenged since I have often been shown the loopholes in my thought process. Thanks for putting this out there!

I love this and other videos you have put out. I don’t agree with everything but I think that it’s important to have uncomfortable conversations and while we may not always agree we can all grow in our lives by having these conversations.

Wow...I never thought of it that way! With all the opposing opinions and beliefs people have nowadays, my motto has been "live and let live". But the way you talked about it made me question that.

I have dated somebody that hid from me for a year that he was a polygamist and finding out really hurt then a couple of his friends try to get together with me and convince me how it was a good thing which quickly backfired on them and I ended up getting bullied by them even more so I totally agree with you for liking me is definitely not something that is what I would accept nor want to see for anybody that I loved and cared about. I feel kind of nervous and scared about sharing my opinion on it but it feels really refreshing to know that someone like you agrees so thank you and thumbs up

You are awesome! I had a live and let live attitude about life at one time until I moved from my hometown to another small town and noticed a lot of differences and similarities

I agree with what you’re saying and it’s important to discuss what’s moral and what’s right, but I think it’s also important to keep in mind that it’s important to accept people even if we don’t agree with their choices. Love your videos!

There are so many things I could say but...Thank You! says it all.

I appreciate this so much! These kinds of conversations are the best! So many progressive revelations can be had during open conversation held in a compassionate and loving space. I get tired of small talk and superficial inquiries.

Hi Mayim, I enjoyed your blog and they give me ideas I've never thought of. Thanks for keeping it real.

Thank you for your open and thoughtful videos. Much love to you.

Absolutely agree. Great video. I am a to each their own kinda person but I have questions and want to understand things that are different from myself. I believe the more we talk about things in a caring open way the better we are at co-existing.

I can relate to everything you said. I am also a curious person. I love to ask questions, discuss but not to the point of making myself right. People think I stress myself out by involving my mind partially. This video you made just explained what I think!

I completely agree! Weve become super complacent in order to appear non judgmental and open minded, even at things that challenge our values.