If a woman gifts you her disrespect. You as a man gift her your absence.

When my ex and I would fight I would aways come back first and offer a "hug of conciliation". Without fail, she would reject it and choose to remain angry. Fast forward 5 years, nobody is hugging her these day. Her anger and sadness is no longer a me problem. Thank God.

If a woman disrespects you she is telling you , she over it.

All I have to say is respect goes both way no matter what ur gender is.

I love how she quotes the ENTIRE verse in context and not just the part of “wives, submit to your husbands”….but that husbands need to LOVE their wives (as Christ loved the church) - meaning that husbands don’t just boss their wives around and they need to listen

She just said something that struck me! Women being out of pocket because they feel unloved. So they act up and then they expect you to give them a hug which is not a natural response for a man when someone is disrespecting them.

There are like fifty books about this love/respect relationship dynamic, thousands of pages. She just summarized it perfectly in a 30 second clip.

Major facts. I try to suppress those thoughts best I can but every now and then it slips out. But when I’m giving him his peace and keeping busy around the house and he’s giving me reassurance and intimate attention all is in perfect harmony 😅 I just gotta remember that when he’s being distant or nonchalant usually it’s because he’s focused on the next goal and can’t afford me that much attention. Recognizing that is key so instead of getting antsy, you can just use that energy to do something for him. I.e. make lunch for the week, laundry, ironing, whatever

An ex girlfriend of mine used to try to get me angry just to see if she could get me angry, she wanted to be confrontational all the time, she had no respect for me and this behavior escalated until I finally told her that we were done. That was the best decision I ever made in my life.

A Lot of men are just sick and tired of all these games and abuse. This is why many of us are staying single, keeping our possessions, keeping our self respect. To put it simply... it's no longer worth it.

As a woman, it's me that blows up. It's usually tears. I'm not one to respond with "nothing " when my man asks what's wrong. I tell him and address my feelings. You can only do this so much. I've addressed, and they didn't listen. It's always "baby, I'm not feeling enough love, I would appreciate more affection at night. More intimacy as well. " once I've said this over and over again, and nothing changes, that's when I end up blowing up. I don't ask for much, just love.

She hit the nail on the head 100% the problem is in today's world everybody wants to be the top g, and nobody wants to humble themselves for the greater good of their relationship.

“When men blow up, I feel like we should start asking ‘what did she say’” 🏆

If she thinks highly of the Kardashians, RUN!!!

Whenever my girlfriend and I argue (which hasn’t been much) we always talk things out and after we talk it out and hear each others perspective we always say that we’re sorry and that we love each other because we know that it’s usually never a big deal in the first place

Respect is earned.

An Italian man told me over a decade ago, you can have 10 men around a table for dinner that all despise each other, and the meal will pass without any issues. But you can have 10 female friends around a table for dinner and you can guarantee a squabble is coming. I was in my 20s then and it didn't mean much to me, but now at 45, I see it all the time. He was 💯

I would never marry someone who doesn’t respect me, or marry someone I don’t love. Both qualities are required from both spouses.

Absolutely right. There’s a Yin and Yang in a marriage. You’re in a state of balance where you complement each other. There is also an equal and opposite reaction when that balance gets disturbed. When respect and love gets neglected it’s going to cause each person pain, until one or both decide to correct the balance. Let’s say a husband is having a hard time at work and is neglecting his wife. In time she might end up doing the same thing when he gets thru his stress. A cycle would begin of this back and forth. If the husband realizes they’re drifting, then starts taking steps to show his love, the wife will (either knowingly or unknowingly) reciprocate. That cycle breaks and balance can be restored.

The problem is the quote "men need to be respected and women need to be loved". Both men and women NEED and SHOULD be respected and loved.

This is why long marriages seem to work so well. We have figured out what to waste our energy on, and being right is not one of them. Giving up, and giving in become so easy that we seem whipped by the other. When in truth, we choose to get along. We have learned each other's quirks, likes and dislikes and just choose not to fight about that which we know serves no purpose other than to upset the other. I want my husband to be happy with his choice. I am happy with my choice, so I want him to know and feel that. 34 years so far....

I learned this before even getting married... everyone is all about how is this relationship benefiting me but never how can I benefit the person I love.

My husband and I agreed to hug after arguments to reaffirm our love. We argue, but it also need to be done when it's over. You can't keep those negative feelings

Men would rather be respected than loved.

Yeah if I feel disrespected I'm leaving the relationship. I don't tolerate disrespect from anybody and I'm certainly not going to share the same house with somebody who doesn't respect me 🤷‍♂️

She gives away the game: I *feel* unloved. Nothing's changed but your feelings and now you're in a cold war with your husband.

The one who cares less always controls the relationship

If you ask that you get called a victim blamer. But once people started asking “Well what did Rihanna do?” it all turned out be a much more mutually abusive. Accountability isn’t blame. I always ask who/why/what/when/where, which was included in an English lesson…in school…in second grade.

The moment she feels she can readily “do better” is the moment that no amount of good advice matters. It’s over. Even if there are kids and property involved, it’s over. Chad slid into the DM‘s months ago and it’s been over. There will always be a Chad. When Chad gets bored, he will pursue anything that’s even average attractiveness for fun/sport (multiples at once) so no marriage is safe anymore with the Internet the way it is.

This is true. Mature women naturally submit to love. Immature women don't respect being loved.

My girlfriend and I have "breaks" when we are fighting. Fighting or having serious discussions about things we feel passionate about are extremely important for us to learn about the other one, finding compromises and grow as a team. But sometimes, when it gets too much at once we have a "break", take a step back, and just cuddle because we know we always talk things out and even if we aren't at that point yet, we certainly will be. So all gud and love

I pray I find a woman who can set her ego to the side as easily as I can

Just keep in mind: when you hop off, don't expect the other person to reciprocate immediately. Just because you remove the reason for being angry, does not stop the feeling they are experiencing. Emotions have inercia and it can be frustrating for someone to take away your right to feel angry and it does not stop the fact that you do feel angry. Don't jump back in the cycle just because they shoot down your olive branch.

You can't love someone if you don't respect them.

Remember guys.. This is a women's advice

"Let me explain why we get to disrespect you" go on I'd love to hear 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sad that people don’t understand what it means to show grace anymore. They blame others first before looking at themselves, because they love themselves more than others.

If you show love to a women, while she has no respect for you, your values, feeling or boundaries. She will never give you your courage back.

You ain’t gotta like me but better respect me

My husband and I have been together for 24 years. It's called picking your battles. Most things are not worth fighting over. Whenever he does something that I could easily get angry about, I stop and ask myself how it would benefit us to fight about it. 99% of the time, it won't so I let it go.

My ex told our friends I was "reactive" One of HER friends asked "to what" Made me think about everything differently "Don't start none, won't be none" As soon as they can't get the desired reaction, they get bored and move on to less suspecting targets.... fortunately

It’s a reason why communication is so important in a relationship. Share everything with each other ❤️

The “well what did she say” is the one. WHAT DID SHE SAY?!?! She crossed all boundaries, that’s all you can say.

Dr Emerson Eggrichs has fantastic talks about love and respect. I listened to them before I got married and I’m certain it has helped me stay married for seventeen years. My husband and I have never shouted at each other, and though I have often been worried my words may have come out wrong or hurtful, he says he’s never felt disrespected by me. We women need to consciously and intentionally watch our words, our tone of voice, and our facial expressions. Men need to watch their interests and their actions. All of these things should be used to build up our spouses.

"you know why we disrespect you right" because you know we can't do anything to you

It used to be asked, "What did she say?" I do.

This was the most brilliant wrong logic I’ve ever heard in my life

Imagine coming home from a graveyard shift to take care of the family all for her to say she don’t feel love and starts disrespecting you…

Not with me sunshine. If I mess up, I say sorry, I own it. If you mess up, I'll make you own it too 😂😂😂

That’s call learning how to communicate , if you have to disrespect me I don’t want chu

She’s 100% right. When my husband and I finally figured it out and “hopped off” our relationship improved significantly.

You said it. When you feel unloved, that feeling is totally subjective, and depends on a lot of things you got during the day, week or month, not on just an act of your partner. But when you disrespect someone, that is normally an act or a ser of actions, objective actions you say or do. That is a big different and is just an excuse to be felt unloved.

Before u date a girl, plz make sure to go interview the ex bf/husband.

So basically it's... If I do something bad, it's because you made me do it. The female no accountability movement continues 😂

Love and respect are completely two different things. Men and women need BOTH! Not one or the other.

The problem is, typically one person in a relationship is aware of an issue "I don't feel respected" / "I don't feel loved." but instead of acknowledging it, they or you decide to play passive-aggressive games, which only makes things worse. Why not, instead of being distant, ask your partner, "Hey, are you alright? You've been distant/angry/disrespectful/etc. lately. Is there anything I can do?" Because childish actions only result in childish responses. Source: Being 44 with a 22 year year marriage.

Most women in this generation disrespect men EVEN BEFORE "AN RELATIONSHIP" Gets STARTED GOOD !!!

Some people would rather keep a fight going than to stop that fight and give each other a chance to maintain peace. Communication, listening and being understanding is what's most important in all relationships.

The difference is the love will always be there when they need it and they be throwing disrespect all over the place

My husband got confused. I have always respected him...35+ years... he didn't understand loving me. I didn't need him to cuddle around all the time, I just enjoyed his presence, conversation, company... Spending time with him...I like to cook for him, etc...

Damn good breakdown. I always try to apologize to my wife even when it's small stuff. I don't believe in letting things fester plus I hate drama.

Men, just call out your woman on their shit......and if they don't want to take responsibility for their actions, leave them......tf?

Some men be doing the disrespectful shit and then wonder why you dont show them respect Respect is earned

Amen! My Pastor says that in any broken relationship, there should be a Redeemer! Whether it's family or spouse there should always someone who brakes that cycle or it will be a never ending story where history will continue to repeat itself!

Yes. This is actually very true. Once the honeymoon period ends its a gradual loss of love and respect in the relationship.

Let me get this straight. Not only does she not love you, she's actively disrespecting you. Sounds like she's the problem. It's hard to show love to someone that doesn't show any love back. It's even harder if that person also disrespects you.

If she’s not a submissive and feminine woman she’s always gonna disrespect her man ..time to go

I’ve experienced the opposite. When I told people that my ex was physically abusing me, I was asked what I did to provoke it. So, I think this is a dangerous and socially detrimental idea.

I get bratty sometimes too. Blame the Irish/Sicilian/Native in me!!! But I told my husband to give me a spankin and it will make me change my tune 😂

She should just have her own podcast. Consistently giving grounded well put together views.

Wow all these years . This makes so much sense . So simple . She disrespected me because I didn't show love . My mind is blown .

Making alot of sense. Addressing a common situation and giving her take on it without being disrespectful. This is how a debate/ convo should go.

Wow. That made me think and look back my past relationships

I think we truly undervalue the importance of respecting both sexes. For instance, I as a woman do not respond in kind to disrespect and I tell my husband to lead with respect. You cannot love me and disrespect me on the same instance. And i cannot disrespect my partner and claim to love them.

Give in. She has priority over so many things that could happen to you. Women can be a jewel in your life. We as men need that protection.

Women who give disrespect just haven't had any guidance their whole life. My wife was one of em. Extremely angry and hateful. All she knew was what she was told. Showed her how I love and how much I value respect, 5 yrs later she's completely different. Gotta be a man and teach your family. "If we're meant to be we'll end up together" dumbest shit I've ever hear. Fight for yours yall

Every time I tell anyone they always tell me to talk to them about it, but they don’t realize me talking about it makes it a problem, but me not talking about it is even worse. I need a mental break 😂

Ladies are the ones who are supposed to be submissive. When the man "hops off" as you say, he yields, submitting to her - and she has even less respect for him. The few times I suspected I might have been wrong in an argument with my wife, I approached it like this: I'd tell her that if she wants me to hear her out, she needs to tone down the disrespect. I'm not customer service at Best Buy who doesn't care, I'm your husband with a vested interest in the relationship. Show me you as the wife also has a vested interest in the relationship by giving my your data without all the emotion and make wrong attached to it, and then I'll listen. Clearly this is important to you; show me that it's important enough to suppress your animosity long enough to get the point across. After listening, I'd ask clarifying questions as needed. If she's right, I'd acknowledge she's right, and we'd go with that. If she realizes she's wrong, she'd yield. If we are still at an impasse, the final decision was usually still up to me, which meant in most cases I would override - but there were exceptions. For example, if the argument was over handling an issue with health insurance, she worked in that field before becoming a stay at home mom - unless I had compelling cause, I would yield disagreements in that area to her. There's always the final line, which I almost never needed to resort to: if you don't like being with me or my program, there's the door. No one is forcing you to stay. The above is a representation of how I approach conflict, at least on my better days. Secret: vet the woman's values before you get into a long term relationship. If your values line up fundamentally, such conflicts will be few and far between in the first place.

Facts! That's some good advice bc some people be to prideful yo. Lol that shit cute in the early yrs but once you get passed like 25-30 range you grow out of that quick! It's too petty and life to short for all that bs negativity. Lol

This was probably the best perspective from a woman’s POV I’ve ever heard

“When I don’t feel loved I get disrespectful” oooorrrr… you could just talk to your man about it and BAM!! Problem solved

Problem is that a man can sit still, do nothing, say nothing, look at nothing and be peaceful. A woman needs to feel something, so she goes out of her way to generate a feeling, triggered by something or someone external, doesn't matter what it is, as long as she gets to feel something. Hence peace is broken.

She’s on Point It’s called the crazy cycle A man don’t show love then a wife won’t naturally show respect And it’s vice versa

"The mature one moves first." Emerson Eggrichs

In my experience, she goes out of her way to make me feel unloved and doesn’t respect me

Absolutely 💯 its a vicious cycle. With my mental health I have a bad habit of getting into my own feelings and blowing up for no reason. Ive been with my fiancé for 8/9 years and it has been a road of ups and downs but once we figured out communication really is key and me getting the help I needed to understand my emotions helped tremendously. We go through different things everyday and sometimes we forget to look at what the other person is going through and become selfish in our feelings❤

This comment section is so sad. Communication should come from any gender. If they can’t do that they need to work on themself. I have plenty people of both genders in my life BECAUSE they have insight and humility. Met plenty men and women who can’t communicate appropriately and those people need to grow up.

That's actually a pretty good one for me to stop on and think about. That explains alot why my ex got so disrespectful. I thought I showed her enough love.. when it was over I remember her saying "I didn't know you loved me that much" hmm 🤔

Honestly, you disrespect men because you don't want to understand what you want as women, I think. What you say contradicts what you want.

All i heard was, "Even though I initiated the disrespect, I'm too petty and childish to be the bigger person "

She's explaining two people who are children trying to be adults

Guys just don't get married. Ever. Period. I promise you'll be much happier and healthier if you focus on money and meaningful friendships

She is just spitting facts!!! It's so hard to be submissive when I don't feel appreciated or heard!

This went over most people's heads...she's not saying only women should respect men she's saying that when it comes to discourse in a relationship women show disrespect as punishment and men withhold love as punishment so if men show women love and women show men respect neither will lash out

She was spot on with what she said

The second I don’t feel respect, I am out of there. Why should I be somebody’s rock and somebody’s source of love and validation if she can’t even respect the man she’s with?

She just said it… it generally and mostly comes initially from the woman “feeling” unloved. Feelings are perceptions and perceptions are not rooted in reality. So she “feels” unloved and disrespects. We as men are not responsible for how they feel. So no matter what we do or say, we are at the mercy in a relationship to the “feelings” of a woman, feelings only she is responsible for. It’s a no win situation.

Bill Burr had a comedic piece on that in his "no reason to hit a woman" bit. He said, "Why is it they never asked what the woman did, but it's always what the guy did. Fireman don't just drive away from a fire, but they investigate to see what started it. Even hockey has two minutes for instigating!" 😂

Sounds like a lot of BS could be avoided if the woman just said she felt unloved

Once a man gets disrespect, he loses his love for the woman. It's nothing you can "hop off".