Wow 🤯

Perfectly said!!!

True. You don't need to ask for respect.

yeah ❤️

Absolutely.I am not even going to lisen to this...apply these 4 rules and they will respect you..imagine.I have to wonder about this man,too..the nerve of it all.As if we care.Anyway,who needs them.

Not All People Not All Men. There are still good great guys out there. Is like Not All Womens are like that so with that being said there are exceptions out there that will change modify behaviors

@@blingblingnelida I think I may have caused a confusion with that comment. I definitely don't think that all men are dishonest, cheaters or liars. Absolutely not. There are so many brilliant men out there. And I think the person has to look into themselves if they keep attracting the cheating type.

@@IEVAKambarovaite correct thanks

True

80% of women, are fighting for 20% top men in online dating (according to statistics). Women need to understand all fighting for "best men" is just trowing themselves to "too good to be true" men. Care less about good looking and tall men earning a lot, with high self confidence, and give a chance to good-enough men with a good heart. I am not talking about all women. Just 80 - 20 = 60% of them.

Facts

❤

Me too 😭

So true😭 I left one city to come to live with him, then later on, he said you shouldn’t have. And showed more signs of disrespect, telling me to clean the flat during the first week of living with him, making me to. Although he was a student at that time and I was working and cooking and baking. He was going to be a pilot, I kept clinging to his future status, but he was younger and so immature with mother issues. He said that he loved me, we had several dates, I decided to come and live with him for a holiday month in my home town, rented a flat, but the landlord said only extended stay for 6 months. I said ok and so started our living. With lots of issues, now divorced. Every time I got ill, he wanted to leave. Said I love him too much, was avoidant, that broke my heart, I distanced myself, in the end he said that I didn’t love him🤦I developed anxiety disorder in this marriage, had lots of health issues, he got tired of it, went to a psychologist and whined her about me. They started to “set his boundaries”, after that he injured my arm severely in a fight. He said he was setting his boundaries. He and psychologist were making the new version of him🤦said that he had worked through his mother issue trauma with me and I killed a man inside him, although before the relationship he was prone to depression and self-deprecation. I lost 5 kilos within 5 months of divorce period. Absolutely shattered. He walked out on me a year after the wedding blaming me for being ill. He did so the second and final time now 8 years later. F... him. We used to be close friends which childhood traumas. Traitor.

@@mstwilight1612 Does he clean too or does he expect only you to be doing all the cleaning?

Agree

Correct. You should only give the other person one extra chance and that’s it. Even then be wary

I totally agree. I gave my guy too many chances and ge disrespected m

That's a g*eat saying to keep in mind.

wow , how did you stay so strong after he was late all the time-? and move forward ⏩ -?

Lateness drives me crazy. I can understand if someone is late once in a blue moon; stuff happens - but not over and over again. If someone is always late, that’s his or her way of saying that their time is more valuable than yours. That doesn’t fly with me. I’m glad you broke it off and found someone else.

@@cak8132no, that’s a very common misconception. ADHD and severe anxiety can both cause chronic lateness. Google “time blindness.” It’s a feature of ADHD. Ask me how I know.

@@calisongbirdrue. So true. Moreover people who are absent- minded and dreamy in a way can be late. I remember I was late even at school just because I was always carried away by some interesting things before I left home or distracted by an exciting cartoon. But, knowing my issue, I CAN be on time, and it’s usually one hour Before the Estimated time of arrival. Going to extremes is another trait of an idealist

I see sense & wisdom here😇

What's your zodiac sign

This is so touching

@@aYhfnfjmnfh Who cares 😂😂 Lmfaooo

I'm in this position rn

Why open yourself if from the start there is no reciprocation?😐 pointless no offense. Make a man be a man. Let them do what is their nature. Make them do an effort. So have a hobby and wait for that man to come.

Narcissist

My ex husband was like that. So sweet to others but nasty to me. Older and wiser women always caught on. More than a few told him off in front of me. They helped give me the strength to divorce him.

Mine too...the world adores him ..but he is a flirt always womanizing young girls...23 yrs of unhappy married life

Yes my dad this while married to my mom - he was Mr Wonderful to everyone else but he neglected my mom and when she complained he beat her! Then he later cheated on her at which time she filed for divorce, then he told people she was crazy and had mental problems! What an ass!!

Jane Are you still with him? I hope not

God bless your marriage... 😂 Will I ever?

Congratulations

Wow :0

Sadly most men treat women differently... Based on what you allow... Bitter truth... And it is most of them that are like that. Just a golden few respect all women

Amen sista✌🏻🕊❤️

There are different types of women. Men who believe in us a sex & ego servants shall get the eye twitch from society. -The world I willfully speak into existence.

Emmanuella Thomas Exactly. Usually a man respects a woman only if she has and shows respect for herself. Not always but usually

@@emmanuellathomas3487 I think it’s also fair to say that men are more action based. So when they see a woman act fine with anything he does, then she must actually be fine with it. The same way women are the opposite and tend to listen to words. “He said he loves me so why was he so rude?” She’s not looking what he did but what he said. A guy hears a woman say “I’m really mad that you’re late” and then she waited the half hour and still tried to act like a perfect girlfriend that accommodates him. Is she really that upset? Does she really feel that way? She’s not acting like it at all. That’s usually why men respect some women and not others. They perceive action as how you truly feel. Not words.

I vehemently disagree with everything you said. First of all... "Judge no one." I truly despise it when people say this, while it sounds all virtuously good-hearted, the truth is that it is impossible NOT to judge people. Not only is it impossible, but it's a necessary requirement to make judgement calls about people, how else are you supposed to discern the difference between those who are good people with good intentions vs those who are problematical people with bad intentions. So, frankly that is a moot hypothesis, and it's a grossly disingenuous one at that. Secondly. "People who respect themselves will always respect others no matter what." With all due respect, that is a horrendously erroneous postulation. People with narcissistic tendencies tend to have an enormous amount of genuine respect for themselves. Some will argue that it is their exaggerated self inflated ego that masks itself as self-respect. Either way - folks with NPD are notorious for being highly disrespectful of others. Moreover, some say that "respect is something that must be earned". I agree with that notion only in regards to the respect that we have for ourselves. You see, every time we chose action over ease, we develop an increasing level of self-worth, self-confidence, thereby earning respect for thyself. I believe that having respect for others, should always be the default. Now it's true that one who lacks personal boundaries invites the lack of respect from others. I think that the key is, to learn respect and honor the complications of other peoples lives. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way that you want to be talked to.

@@KelleyBroussardMackaig speak for yourself. It's very possible not to judge people. It's a choice. If you're still weak at controlling your own weaknesses and insecurities that u must project, because that's pretty much what judging is, then work on it. But don't say it's unattainable. If u have nothing nice to say don't. Another good habit to practice to avoid judging. It's hard work girl so get on it rather than just negating everything lol. Sorry you're still in that negative space tho.

That's naive at best. That's like saying follow the Golden Rule; do unto others as you'd have done unto you. Well, many are sadists and they would love it if you hurt them so their Golden Rule is not yours. Also, many believe women are second class citizens and should be covered from head to toe and it would be disrespectful to them if a woman showed any part of herself, even her face. In their Golden Rule she deserves to be killed if she disobeys. Their religious books tells them so. Same with all the other all male religions - it would be disrespectful to their God if they didn't harm women and keep them "obedient" and under "vows." Also, you HAVE to judge to have common sense. You look down a dark alley full of peeps that scare you, you chose to take the well lit route. You get the creeps while standing next to someone, you make a judgment call to leave. Sooooo many married couples are swing couples, most think, oh you're married, only you two, go to a party and it's chock full of "upstanding" citizens buck naked saying let's swing, you make a judgment call to stay or leave. There are oodles of situations every hour of everyday that we have to judge. Should I hire this person, should I go to this school, do I like the teacher, you judge everyone every single day along with every place, situation and task to be done. Be well and take care :)

This is sooo true!

@@KelleyBroussardMackaig 100% agree. And I’m a guy. A mature one at that. Without evaluating other ppl, plus how we interact with them, we’ll walk blind through life. And be targets for those who are users & abusers. Anyone who says differently is not wise.

Did you state your standards blatantly or did you first observe before you stated your standards?

goood

You see this boundary stating at the beginning of every relationship with safe it more than anything. You get to know the dos and don'ts early and respect it so no problem will arise in future.

wait 5 minutes only! he should be early. not being early is being late.

@@waterloosunset4559 nope. 12o clock is 12 not 11:55. Don't project your values on someone else

called 'future faking', and is a sign of a possible narcisist

Thanks for the advice

I would respond and call him a different name and say take care. Hi Rob, take care. Lol

I agree with watching out for behaviors that suggest those motives. However, it seems to me that your specific criterion is just really confusingly & unrealistically nitpicky (not to mention ableist & likely pragmatically classist, given how many people don't get exposure to or don't intuitively understand whatever social norms & roles you're drawing on ideologies about). :/ I have it relatively easy since people with the female-person version of autism generally catch a break on social skills, & I'm a passably socially likeable person, but I would _never_ intuit this expectation from someone unless they said it unambiguously to me. (& yeah I do get how if you have to ask for a behavior then it doesn't matter because their compliance may be disingenuous -- I relate to this frustrating irony about communicating expectations to guys lol -- but I'm not arguing here that you or anyone shouldn't have preferences like that & care about the behavior ... I'm just arguing that snapping to judging people's motives over it seems really hasty). I mean, do you just expect dudes to magically know that you want them to take that much initiative with proposing a fully formed plan? (To me & I'm sure many others, naming a time & date requires having a prospective plan formed ... I can't just toss out arbitrary suggestions lol my brain doesn't allow for it.) What if they think you might want the question to be open-ended? What if they're used to different preferences or norms? What if they're wildly overthinking trying to ask you for a date & are afraid to come on too strong with it & are getting awkward? Like, yeah, watch out for guys with the kinds of lazy motives you described, the ones who mostly just want the Emotional Support Side Chick/the "at least _someone_ wants me" effect, I TOTALLY feel that one ... But I don't think it's reasonable or productive to use that specific/finite/subjective a standard for slapping that label on someone so fast.

@@ItsAsparageese I don’t expect a dude to have a fully formed plan when he asks me if I want to go out with him, but when he initiates a date and I accept, and he tells me he will follow up with me, I expect him to follow through with it (as the initiator). I saw him on a regular basis at work and there was plenty of time for him to follow up. I later learned he was quite the womanizer. His actions showed a lack of integrity on his part, and my expectations for him to follow up are not abnormal. I am not sure why you are so invested in defending him but a lack of integrity by him does not make me classist. The social norms in my culture would have been for him to follow up since he asked me out.

^

Don't try to gain anyone's respect--I don't think that's Brian's point anyway. He's saying respect yourself and wait for the man who values that in you. The truth is, even if I have a generic respect for everyone because they are people, I respect some people more--and trying to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect themselves is not fun (so I don't entirely blame men who walk away from women who are needy or don't respect themselves). Bad men use a woman's lack of self-respect against her--to get things they have no right to. Good men often just walk away.

S. J. : My ex used to tell me that respect should be earned and not given. I was brought up to be respectful of others. But he wasn't respectful of me. That's why we're divorced now.

A woman needs to respect herself first in order for a man to respect you. It’s not always this way but usually. If a woman doesn’t respect herself with her actions and words the man most likely won’t respect her

@@georgialee6755 it usual It’s but It’s foolish. Why will you respect another man because he’s a man, but can’t give that same respect to a women?

I who

I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree!!! 🤗☺️🌼🤠❤️💯

Well done and well said. I was once in a very similar situation. I’m free of it now. The things I put up with in that relationship always made me upset. He was a different person with family and totally rude and disrespectful to me. I feel so liberated now!

Probably a narcissist dynamic. I saw this in a guy I dated, he was sweet as pie to his mother, but awful to me, and then they turned out to both be narcs who ganged up on me, and they both had a very bizarre relationship that was inappropriate at times, it was crazy outrageous! 🤮 The weird thing is tho, the relationship between narcs is so contrived, surface, and fake, like they are trying to outperform each other and re-enforce each others delusions and lies, idk, I can't explain crazy and I don't want to. Bye bye is suffice enough! P.s. Jesus is Lord and the only way to the father and to heaven and to peace.

You're just honest. Stop making excuses for people. If they're interested and really want to get to know, you'll know who's fake. This applies to love and friends. Actions speak louder than words. You need a plan to take action. Goals are important for self respect. "Life is what happens while you make plans".

I am dealing with the same thing, unfortunately it's my boyfriend of 4 years. We just broke up, but I live in his house, and It's heartbreaking. He proposed to me, just to let me know that his mom always comes first! Well....marry your mom then!

@@MegaMisfit138 i hope you have planned your get away.

You are so on point 🔥🔥🔥

Interesting perspective

It's awful being ghosted. It's rotten. I suspect there were signs. We chose to excuse him/it instead. Sad we have to go through pain to learn the lesson and not repeat. All the best! ❤️

Hope you won't be sad anymore. Being ghosted just proves that man has no moral values and respect for people. Decent men will shoot you a text/ explanation and wish you luck.

@@jp0316 True. It's a sad commentary that ghosting is even a thing, and a thing that's increasing. This shows the decline in the quality of men, and their respect for women. Women who are mothers, daughters, sisters, and lovers.

Check my channel for more relationship advice

... watching this video 41 years ago would have saved me from an unsatisfying relationship. How lucky you are 8 months in & getting the message. Don't cry over that, please!

Exactly what my Mum said and they were right.

Your mother sounds like a wise woman.❤

@@janetblanc7658 thank you Janet. I hear myself often using my mothers expressions. It used to make me think I was getting old, but they were usually wise words. They’re usually given as advice to my adult children when I see them making similar mistakes to mine from years ago. I know they’ll listen but still take their own path.

@@TheSouthIsHot we grew up without much, my mother had lived in Dublin tenements. A lot of hardship. I’m baby number 13. She managed so many things including my stevedore fathers drinking, to a point. Like so many other women. My father was a good hard worker, but gravitated to the bar . Like so many other men. I always felt loved by my mother and father, but my father had mellowed by the time I came along, so as I’m told, ‘you don’t know the half of it’. Thanks Katrina, hope your life is long and peaceful. X

@@janetblanc7658 parents tend to be right with old sayings. Good advice when people heed it. Best wishes from Devon UK

Agree 💯

Really how so?

@@cutie13581 People act differently with different people. So we can't think he's going to treat us the same as he treats others. He may treat us better or worse. It's more important to be really aware of how he's actually treating us. Is he respectful? Is he picking fights all the time? And not carry some illusion that he'll change.

I have experienced this too. I absolutely agree with you!

This!! ^^^. I knew a guy who could be horrible to people in every way. Rude, prejudiced, arrogant, thought too much of himself. However, when it came to his mom??? Oh what a difference! Doting, servile, he thought her and him were the world’s best, everyone else was dirt. I guess because she birthed him?

Well said and true!

I found a man that's changed alot since I started being with him. I kept finding myself questioning if he's a bad man and I should leave but I saw that he was willing to change and he has, but he still does some deeply concerning things.. I'm not sure if I should be afraid and run or if I should stay sometimes. He's willing to grow and he's a good man in many ways so I feel lost on if I should take a leap and commit or if I should go slower.

​@@limeylemon1685 keep looking for clues he is trying hard to change if not his actions always speak the truth. Because people lie with their words. I learned the hard way. I had doubts In the beginning and my gut was right in the end. I'm glad it's over

You don't need help, you need boundaries. Start practising on him and he'll run away and leave you free to meet a good match.

That’s a narcissist. Run far away and go to therapy . You are worth being treated well

You'll wake up one day, and find you've wasted 20yrs on him. You need to dump him, and don't go back on your decision. I can almost guarantee that he'll meet someobe else, and marry her within 2yrs. When a man says he's not ready, he means he doesn't want to commit himself to you. Sorry to be harsh.

Friend zone him

walk away, what you described is my 27 year marriage, totally miserable all 27 years and I know now it will never get better. I have kids, health issues and money problems holding me here; you don't-get out now, do it for yourself and don't look back.

Your not worthless he is a creep. You don’t need this tripe . Who was he keeping secrets from ? His wife !!!!! Be glad you are rid of him

You shouldn't look at yourself in a negative way, just because a guy wasn't good for you. There are a lot of guys out there that aren't good for many of us! Maybe GOD directed him out of your life.

He was probably in a relationship and just scoping out possibilities

I fully agree. The more he dulled and was moody, the more I tried. He used me, walked all over me, and told the kids it was all my fault. Awful. I just wanted to be nice, helpful, etc. I will regret it forever.

Jesus loves you❤️kzfaq.info/get/bejne/rKmfd7eGva6xlZs.html

Absolutely...evil men out there

Your kindness will be rewarded greatly by God. Thanks for sharing der

So true about staring at other women

He is prob a narcissist

So sorry, I’ve been in a similar relationship, I suggest leaving without letting him be aware of it, it’s nerve wrecking experience, to never return, but worth it in the end! You come first! it’s NOT selfish.

lol

I know some good guys. Most of them are happily married men. Their wives are quite happy with the choice they made 30 or 40 years ago.

Pray & trust God that your miracle will locate you at God's time..HIS YES

Yes there are hypocrites men gng to Church...my husband us one of them...

@@janedias1501 so is mine!

😆😆😆😆😆

I had to do that with one of my aunts.

You don’t need creeps.

I feel the same way...🥱 of the 🦬💩

My words: This child will not grow up in a home with a man who thinks so disrespectfully of women.

Good for you! 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

Great

​@Susel its a game for me its boring to have a stable relation ship without no tricks

Same

Take your time, sister! Enjoy having no one but God to answer to. Oh, and paint your bedroom that color you always liked.

That's really bad. He led u on

Did you cut it off? I’m kinda in the same state tbh 😢

I don't know you but I'm proud of you for realizing the mess. I hope you got out and away. All the very best!

@@mergerogue4291 I did

Youths' Frank Talk Therapy With I had a guy lead me on after we dated and he broke up me! On our last date he even told me “ I don’t want to lead you on” Abd what did he later do? Led me on whenever we saw each other out somewhere. It was horrible because I really liked him. He started chasing me four years after he broke up with me but I ignored him as it was just too late. I was so in love with him and felt such a connection to him. IF only he had treated me better and put me in his life.

Jesus loves you❤️kzfaq.info/get/bejne/rKmfd7eGva6xlZs.html

Same

Same here.

You're not doing anything wrong because you're learning. It takes practice. Things don't happen right away so be patient with yourself and keep learning. You'll look back one day and realise how far you've progressed and feel stronger.