I hate it when you feel bad and people are like "well how can you complain there are people who have it way worse". Yeah sure that's true, but my feelings are true as well.

"We have a lot of gayness here" I love it.

Calling out how "body positivity" has been co-opted and its political intent ignored while still supporting body confidence and bikini pics was ON POINT and most people don't dare say it for fear of being accused of hating on body positivity.

the camera angle change is MY FAVORITE. I love you Jessica

Re the body positivity co-opting - I also feel like "self-care" has been co-opted. Self-care isn't something people with disabilities and/or health issues have a choice in. I don't spend all weekend in bed because I'm lazy (despite what my family says), I do it so I can get through the following 5 days of work and earn that paycheck I need because I have to be my own support system. Self-care isn't about indulging in a mani/pedi because you've had a stressful well at work, it's about actually caring for yourself so that you can function. /hottake

Everytime the camera angle changes I feel like she's roasting me even though I didn't do anything and I love it 😂😂👏

"We have a lot of gayness here." Dare I say, iconic.

I love this 🖤 It reminds me a bit of Jameela Jamil's "body neutrality" take, where she doesn't love or hate her body - she just doesn't think about it. I've went through a lot with my self image and loving my body is probably not a place I'll ever get to, and I felt guilty about that. Especially when people would say "how can you love someone if you don't love yourself first" or "how can someone love you if you don't love yourself" and that's SUCH a downer. I love people just fine, thanks, I just don't always love me. And that's okay. I treat myself as well as I can and that's what matters at the end of the day.

i feel like so many people don’t realize that you don’t actually have to love your body 24/7

what's also really difficult is when you gain weight due to medications you're on. losing weight when you're ill is more socially accepted than gaining weight because gaining weight is *always* seen as your own fault for having not enough willpower.

I love how you said "and if there is no end that's also fine" 💕 my depression is chronic and I had it since I was very little and when people ask me when it's getting better or what thing I could do to just stop it I could scream because it's now a part of me it's not going away and people should not expect me to be cured one day 😣❤

i quite like the body i have. nice curves and all that, but my problem is - i don’t like that _i_ have this body. because as a trans guy it just doesn’t fit me! it’s just not me. and i know that i’m not the target group of this video but i have to say this somewhere.

Holy crap I needed this today. It is damned hard to love my body when it's holding me back from all the exciting creative things I want to do... Or even getting the house cleaned.

I've always found it puzzling how there's that one question about body image on mental health evaluation forms. Like, I may hate my body, but that's not related to my mental health. And it's not like you suddenly just magically fall in love with your body at some point, by realizing all the positive parts about it. I mean, you don't suddenly fall madly in love with your neighbor, after living next to them for several decades without being interested in them at all. Not liking your body also doesn't automatically mean that you neglect or harm it. Just like you can be kind to people you dislike, you can be kind to a body you dislike.

This video was extremely comforting. As a side effect from medication, I've been rapidly gaining weight, and it doesn't always bother me. But sometimes it makes me physically uncomfortable like when none of my clothes fit properly anymore or I see yet another new stretch mark or when I physically heavier. I'm all for body positivity which is why when I feel uncomfortable in my own skin lately, I've felt guilty about it. But like sometimes I just need to say "I'm gaining weight and I'm chubbier than usual, and I'm not always comfortable with it" and not be discredited with friends going "noooo, you're beautiful, you look fine" like thank you, but I still feel uncomfortable. So please don't invalidate my feelings.

"It's okay to not recognize yourself in your body" really resonates with me. Thank you for this wonderful interview!

"Feel your feelings" would be an excellent mantra on a bracelet or something! like a little reminder that it's okay to feel how you're feeling. thank you for all your wonderful content, jessica! :D

I think with people with chronic illness the rhetoric is usually that we have to fight our bodies and beat them into submission, beat them into health. But the way I see it is my body tries it’s best every second of everyday to keep me alive and instead of looking it as the enemy I look at it as a comrade that wants to live and grow. bodies need help not a battle.

I hate my body most of the time and I usually feel really guilty about that. I was a dancer for 16 years and all my plans and dreams were in that so when I had to stop if felt like a betrayal. Now I'm dealing with my body not responding to treatments like expected and feeling angry at my body for not working, angry at myself for not being able to make it work and angry at the doctors who act like I'm somehow being difficult on purpose! I had body dysmorphia before I got sick and it feels like I'm never going to be comfortable in my own skin. It's nice to hear someone say that it's okay to feel like that.

i just adore the angle changes when jessica throws in a little sassy remark 😂😂😂

Between my pain, my obesity, and my gender dysphoria, being comfortable in my own body is one of the rarest things. Actually liking it? Once in a blue moon. So I like this standpoint u have. Sometimes, not liking ur body is ok, you don't have to feel ashamed about it.

The amount of work you’ve put into forming your voice is unreal. It’s a beautiful voice, too.

Sometimes I wish I could thank you, Jessica, in person for how many times I watch your videos and they inspire me or cheer me up or just let me know it's all going to be ok, your one of my biggest inspirations and I can't wait for next week's videos 😊💛

Love this. I'm definitely not loving my body because of chronic pain and weight gain and I'm frustrated that I can't lose weight because I'm always sick.

Side camera Jessica is my FAVORITE Jessica 😂

I focus on treating my body in a loving way rather than how I feel about it’s appearance and ability. Whether I like it or not, it’s the only one I’ve got so I need to treat it well.

"Just because something is happening to our body, it doesn't have to change who you are"... You cannot even begin to realise how powerful that sentence was... I went through my first hospitalization in my life and changes in my body (inside and out) a few months ago. And I still struggle when I look in the mirror... I don't feel like myself anymore... But my friends keep telling me I'm still there, that the real "me" is still there, beyond the scars and changes. Thank you for this video.

I sometimes find it helpful to think of compassion instead of love. I can have compassion for my body even when we're screwed up and hurting.

"Feel Your Feelings"! What a fantastic & insightful quote! I’ve never really stopped & thought about how often people (even random strangers) in my life tell me to "Cheer up, Stay Strong, Keep Fighting, Hang In There, You look beautiful no matter what, Be Happy because tons of people are much more ill than you", etc. I know that they say things because 1: As you & Meg were saying; they don’t have a clue what it’s like to live with chronic illnesses/pain & fatigue. So instead, they revert to the easiest thing they can; reciting every positive motto they know😂! 2: Sometimes they are embarrassed & feel guilty b/c they are healthy, full of energy & have a head of beautiful hair. 3: Social norms kind of dictate that if you see someone who is upset, you should see if they are ok. However; a lot of people worry that if the ask someone if they are ok, they may end up hearing that persons life history & some of our stories are A LOT for a normal person to take in!! We all know they mean well, but I absolutely understand what Meg said about finding people through social media! I send everyone to Jessica’s channel because I felt I was losing my mind (I had already lost control of my nervous system in many ways) & someone commented back to something I had posted on a video that she had the same thing I had just been diagnosed with & knew NOTHING about!Dysautonomia.....one word that turned my life upside down & here was someone who actually understood what I felt. The weight of the world lifted off my shoulders as she pointed me to other places like @thespooniesisterhood on IG. So in a way Jessica, by deciding to start a channel, discuss these topics openly & honestly, build up our little JKF Club family, respond to comments, etc: you basically saved my life (you absolutely saved my sanity😜) & I know that I am just one of thousands of people who feel the same. So thank you & thanks Meg for reminding us to feel however we feel at any given moment. Much much love & hugs to you all 🤗💜🦋🥰!!

As A Trans, I have a lot of feelings towards my body... And it's a whole lot of nothing. I do not love my body for many many reasons, but I rarely hate my body. There are aspects that I hate. But as a whole it is a meat suit I don't really care about. I want to (hence the pursuit of medical transition) but right now I don't love my body.... But there's a list of things I want to do to fix that. Also feeling feelings is hard in a world where people constantly tell you to "chose to be happy" which means "shove your real feelings super far down until they fester into worse anxiety and depression than you're dealing with now"

Community is so important. Social media has kept me in touch with people from all over the world. Thank you for being someone who helps end the loneliness.

I've always said "my body is trying to crush my soul" but I use it to carry around my personality, so i decorate it with tattoos and bright coloured hair (when it's not falling out) or wigs . I love my spoonie online friends because they give me tips and ideas on ways to keep sane and good humour in this bag of bones 😊

Yeah. I've really struggled with watching my friends move forward with their lives while I'm stuck in the same place I was 4 years ago because of my mental health.

had a bit of a revelation whilst watching this video. When I was 14 my body started falling apart, and I've had a bad relationship with it since then. I'm now in my 50s, and I still don't love my body. I don't love my body (have good warm feelings, like it). There are many good things it can do, like give awesome hugs, express love, make wonderful things, allow me to work and earn money. There are many things I can't do, but some of those thing are down to how I treat my body. I've been a comfort eater, and I weigh far too much, and this puts a great strain on my poor body. I'm going to physically love, care and nurture this body. I'm going to help it become a better version of itself. It's going to get good food, exercise, rest and attention. I'm going to look after me.

Jessica, you say you're not leaving your house - and I kind of know what you mean (nor do I if i don't have to, not due to physical difficulties, long story), but you're travelling a long way. You may not know it but ever so often you're visiting Nykoping, a small city in Sweden. All due to social media (and to your wonderful personality of course). You're actually the reason to why i've started wearing make-up again, especially lipstick and I feel so much better. Sounds silly but it actually makes a difference even when I'm out walking the dog. Thank you!

Am I the only one who says hello to the screen when Jessica says hello lovely people Love your videos they always make my day Is it just me It’s me just me Ok Edit: this is the most likes I have ever gotten and this comment was just to try to make people smile 😃 love your videos Jessica

I often switch between moments of body positivity and dysmorphia because my disability so being able to hear your perspective on it, its something I need to remember

This and Special Books By Special Kids today resonated. Do love this part of the internet.

I'm genderqueer so my feelings towards my body aren't always the easiest and I also happen to have hip dysplasia and it definitely sucks. I get dysphoria but I remind myself that my body is fine, it's even good looking for the most part but it's just not the right body for me. It's not my bodies fault that it has that one faulty part and also doesn't goes with my brain and how that works. I don't hate my body, I try to be nice to it and be patient with parts that don't work and just try to find peace with what I have and maybe be able to change a bit surgically I can't live with. I definitely hated my hips before I even knew I have dysplasia there, they are just wide and not up to my androgynous standart and then I also found out that they are really weird internally and cause me pain but they still work and carry me places. They are doing their best.

When Jessica said she hadn’t thought about what her body looked like until she got ill at 17, that made me feel weird about the fact I’ve been stressing over mine since I was like 11!

Late to the party but this really hit home. When I got really ill at 14 I went from spunky teen to someone who can barely feed herself, my hair was really all I had left that felt like "me". It really hurt when the nurses at the hospital tried to convince me to cut it short because it inconvenienced them. I know, it's just hair, but it meant a lot at the time.

I needed this video so much today. 😭 I have a chronic illness called CRPS (among with many others), and recently its been effecting me so badly that I have had to be put back in my wheelchair after months of doing so well. I have pain every single day and it varies all the time. I can be in a normalized state with low level pain and able to do things. Within seconds I can become violently ill with nerve pain beyond some peoples wildest dreams. On the McGill scale its actually the worst pain someone can feel (bones breaking, unexpected childbirth, etc). It burns, aches, stabs, swells, turns your skin gray, makes your bones feel broken, etc. For years I have been sick (I became disabled full time when I was 19 I'm now 24). My new accessories became either a cane, walker, rollator, or most commonly used... my wheelchair. I was doing SO well these last few months. Unfortunately with bad weather and a bad medicine change recently (at the same time I might add), I'm back in my chair and have been bedridden for 2 days straight now. I have been sick for years but I've actually been crying because of how much I hate my body right now. Regardless of how many times I have been down, this time has bothered me greatly. I feel like I should kinda be used to it by now but I feel like I never am. So seeing this video has made me feel better about me feeling this way. I have felt so guilty at how much I have been hating myself, knowing others could have it so much worse than me or I'm being to harsh on myself. I feel like when people develop a chronic illness, no doctor or person can prepare you for how much everything changes excepually a person's mind and how they think. Affects how someone plans events or days, how you feel about yourself or view yourself, etc. Only time, love, and self acceptance can help, along with healthy coping tools. For example I also enjoy wearing vintage clothing and dressing up. Nothing makes me feel more beautiful then having red lipstick on with a vintage dress. Even if I feel bad, i don't have to look it lol But seriously Jessica, thank you for all you do. You change peoples lives and give people like me so much hope. ❤

When I saw the title, I clicked at the speed of eczema and alopecia areata

Ngl, this video was kind of triggering my ed... but I love that people can find positivity on this message, and I super don't want to take away from that.

This reminds me how I can fool myself when I only take in how people physically appear. It's important to let others tell me how they feel, rather than me assume they're 'fine.' Not everything is visible.

This really helped me remember even though I dont like my flabby mum body, it still functions as it should and I have no ongoing health problems. Which at the end of day is more important than what my stomach looks like.

The most powerful thing in this video, for me, is your and Megan’s point that your feelings toward your body aren’t static and it’s normal and okay for them to change. I don’t have to say “I love my body” or “I hate my body” and feel that way forever, or even for the whole day. I think I get a little trapped in the thought that I dislike my body (when I’m feeling negative about it) and start to think that I always will dislike my body, but that’s not true! You two are absolutely right that how you feel about your body can change multiple times each day, so it doesn’t pay to feel guilty about not liking your body, since your feelings may change quickly anyway! ❤️

Social media isn't inherently bad. It's the platform owners who decide to sell the data we've given them or otherwise use it for theirs own gain.

💜 this hit me- having a definitely not positive day about my body. I just bought my first cane for EDS and honestly? I’m so scared to go out into public with it?? Why? I wish I could get over the anxiety. I’m finding myself saying ugh “just push through! So what if your leg falls out of your hip socket! Just drag it like normal!” Got a MRI done of my lower back and hips and alas- there is wearing and not to mention (I’m sorry idk why I’m venting here I’m having a day) the Rheumatologist was like see you in a year to see how it’s “deteriorating”. 😓 no offer on giving me something to help me walk nothing. She wants me to go to a geneticist for an official dx (because she doesn’t have the legal credentials I guess but doesn’t doubt I have it) but it costs 600$ for an hour appointment- and they don’t take insurance lol. I just. I hate my body today. Thank you for the video!! 😭💜

The outside of my body is quite great. But the inside: chronic illnesses, frequent infections, pain, fatigue, constant derealization makes me often hate it.

I don't think I can even fully articulate how helpful and amazing this video was. thank you.

Just found this channel... Jessica should be declared a national treasure.

This is such a great message! You’re still you even when you don’t love you, it’s a moment, you’re not alone and that’s just gotta be okay.

Today I'm really disappointed in my body because I'm too tired to go out to my art group and to knit & natter. Friday is the highlight of my week, when I get to go out and have lots of positive interaction with lovely people, I get to be creative in company, show off what I've done while housebound the rest of the week, etc. And it's ok to be upset with my body for taking that away from me. The very fact that I'm tearing up means that I'm far too tired to leave the sofa. This morning, I feel fat and slow - and this isn't my fault. I'm feeling my feelings. Thank you for being my company today, Jessica.

I love this message. I really struggle to love my body. It's nice to hear someone say that that's okay. 😊

hi Jessica! I just wanted to tell you that your videos have become one of my main forms of self care when internalized ableism is kicking my butt. thank you for all you do

i am loving this like to dislike ratio, there’s no dislikes even after 3 hrs

I'm currently in the worst recurrence of my chronic depressive and anxiety disorders that there's been for a long while, and it's wrecked my self-esteem inside and out. Looking in the mirror is tough some days so I really needed and appreciate this video today. Thank you!

Thank you for talking about Hodgkin's disease!!!!! I could definitely relate to the connectiom between hair loss and self-image, especially since I was used to getting so many compliments on my hair. I didn't feel comfortable going without my scarf for several months until my hair grew out to a certain length because I have a somewhat angular face and was worried I'd be mistaken for a guy. People around me would be like, "You don't need to cover it up, you look fine," and I would think something along the lines of, "It's MY head, I get to decide." Even six years cancer free I still wear my hair long even in summer because I associate me having short hair with me being sick, plus I just like the look better. On the flipside, when I was growing my hair back out, it started growing in ringlets until I got it trimmed. People would say how gorgeous my hair was and I would think, "If you only knew what I had to go through to get this hair." Though I have to admit it did look fabulous and I was a little sad that it lost the effect with a few more trims.

This very much reminds me of a lot of body positivity posts that say things like, "love your legs because they're strong and hold you up! They've taken you so many places! Love your belly because it helps you eat so many delicious things! If you can't love the way your body looks, love it because it works!" and I'm just sitting here, disabled, thinking about my muscular atrophy, wheelchair use, and malnutrition thinking no. My body doesn't work. If it doesn't work and I don't like the way it looks than what do I love it for?

This came at a perfect time for me, was really struggling with my body and pain and my body not doing what I’m telling it to lol. Really started to hate it and myself. So thank you!

Love your videos Jessica your voice is so calming and you always make my day Edit: I swear I’m crying just because Jessica liked my comment 😀 You really made my day thank you

"i dont love my body id trade it inn a second" wow i think that most monrings. thakn you for saying that. it ok to hate ur body thanks for that message.

I personally have had my own struggles with gender identity as well as cerebral palsy, i hid my transgender for 48 & 1/2 years and am now embracing my gender identity , however you are still aware of both the stigma attached with disability as well as transgender people, even as a transgender lesbian female I still have days where I hate my body.

I needed this. I had an eating disorder for eight years, and the only thing that saved me was the fact that my body was functional -- I could backpack, and I could bike, so even if I didn't like the way my body looked, at least I could do awesome things with it. Then my body started to break down -- complications of scoliosis -- and now I don't even have that. Getting "permission" not to love my body, no matter how much Dove tells me I should, is powerful. My body and I have agreed to coexist, and that's good enough for me. There are plenty of other things about me worthy of my love.

I m extremely depressed and insecure about myself in many aspects.odly enough my body its not one of those things. I like how i look(even if i cant recognize myself in the mirror sometimes because i disassociate)i loved this video a lot.

Absolutely loved this video. Found your chat about navigating guilt so affirming as that's been a prominent feature of my experience with cancer that I'm still struggling to shake off, but I don't often see it talked about. And, related to hair loss, I really liked your points about not needing to love your body. There is a lot of surface-level messaging about "feeling confident with no hair =" and about how "your hair doesn't define you", but the truth is we live in a society with certain norms and existing outside of those when you are already in a very vulnerable/isolated position is difficult. Thanks for this video

Even though I'm neither disabled nor chronically ill as far as I know Jessica really helpes me because I have a huge anxiety about getting ill but she calmes that because even "my worst nightmares" wouldn't mean the end of life because it is reality to a lot of people and they still carry on and live lives worth living.

This video is everything that I needed today. I will admit that I fall into the "I don't love my body" category. I've never had a good relationship with it due to my medical condition wreaking havoc, and even with a kidney transplant eight months ago, it's still a daily battle for me to get out of bed and do things because *surprise* gaining 22 lbs in 8 months is not doing my small frame, messed up spine and gut any favors.

Thank you, Meg, for talking about a nuanced topic that's easily misunderstood.

There's been a weird spin on body positivity where people are shifting from "Love how you look" to "Your body is useful so love what it does" and as someone with chronic illness, neither of those really resonate with me. Sometimes, my body isn't aesthetically pleasing or useful and having people insist that I be positive regardless is the Most Annoying.

I have been subscribed to you for a few weeks, and totally separate from that, started a weight loss journey. Today I was literally posting my first video about what I am doing and about some issue I have with body positivity. I happened to click on this video while I waited for my video to upload, and I am so happy I did. This helped me put words to what I was feeling that I didn't say. I am in a place where this video was just what I needed. Thank you.

I love the way I look, but sometimes I really hate my body. I suffer from chronic migraines and it’s hard to love my body when my head feels it’s about to explode from the pain.

Feeling my feelings was very important lesson I learned in high school. That feelings come and go, but if you trap them there by not letting them in and allowing yourself to experience them, then they get stuck and won't leave and eventually overwhelm you and send you to hospital... meanwhile in the present, almost all my feelings are negative and it sucks. Also I dont feel like I'm coping well with my illness. But it's fine. 🙃 It's all good. It will pass and I will be fine.

The message of the video was very meaningful to me, allowing myself to feel my feelings instead of rationalizing them away. I have a non-normative body and it can make me feel 'othered' and depressed. From personal experience negativity feeling about ones body has isnt always bad, in fact, its driven me to be healthier and take care of myself more than I used to.

Talk about good timing, Jessica. Just had most of my brain tumour removed, off to Oncology tomorrow for first time to discuss Radiotherapy plan and stuff to get rid of rest. Best feelings sent to both of you

I’ve only started the video a few minutes ago, but thank you for this. I really struggle with my appearance and how I deal with my body every day, so this is really helpful to have. Your videos always make my day, so thank you!

The part at 1:12 Jessica...you are a savior I’m feeling heard, understood, and sympathized with and I haven’t even finished the second minute.

Thanks for bringing up the origins of the body positivity movement! That gets forgotten a lot.

This is something I'd watch up for a pick me up for my body image

You are both an inspiration to me. While I have not had Cancer I do suffer from depression ,anxiety. and low self immage. Thanks for making me feel better about me.

Thanks to both of you for acknowledging that it’s not always possible to love your body especially when it’s changing due to illness and making this video

It´s so important to know the differences between bodypositivity and bodylove!

relatable, my balanced middle-placebetween love and hate for my body is just acceptance, my body as aseparate but inalienable characteristic of me, in bad days we fight but whether i want it or not we go to bed together and wake up together the next day, whatever happens then does under the knowledge that try as i could to ignore it the sooner we reach enough neutrality to cooperate with each other the better

This felt so calm, important and genuine. Really loved this❤️

I absolutely love you neclaces 😍💖✨

I've been in bed with pain and a migraine since yesterday, and I really needed to see this. Thank you for your videos Jessica. I can't begin to explain how much they've helped me.

Thank you Jessica. I appreciate the message. Often these days we are shamed for feeling negatively about our bodies. I was waiting for you and Meg to discuss the loss of trust in your body and how you live/d with it - when that young the sense of immortality is so strong but usually unconscious - being faced with a serious illness slams us into the fragility of our flesh.

Thank you so much for making this video, I have fibromyalgia and endometriosis and it's really hard to love a body that's out to get me. Thank you for being so kind and sharing your experiences

I needed this video. I've been real down about being ill and not being able to do what I feel I'm supposed to do. You always remind me that I'm not alone and that my feelings are ok. Thank you.

I really appreciate this video. I sometimes feel like I don't belong in my own body so a lot of body positivity stuff just makes me feel worse, especially since I never hear about people who have the same situation as me. It's nice to hear other people feel similarly. Thank you, Jessica! :D Edit: Also, glorious transhumanist future when!!

This is such an amazing and powerful video!!! I hope millions of people see this! 💚💗💚💗💚

I had the same experience, I’ve lost a lot of weight because of an undiagnosed health problem I started having a few months ago. What hurts most is the people in your life telling you you need to gain weight when its impossible to do right now

THANK YOU. Accepting your body is important, loving it is great if you can, but it's still okay to exist with a human body you don't love and don't want to show off. And it's okay to not believe you're beautiful, because it's okay to not be beautiful. It's not okay to treat people like there's something wrong in their heads if they don't run around singing their own praises all the time. life is easier if you can accept yourself, but accepting yourself doesn't necessarily mean unconditionally loving every part of yourself. Sometimes you just make up your mind to work with what you've got.

This is something I needed. ☺I had times where I don't like my body because of surgical scars on me (one of them look like I have been in a knife fight. LOL), but I call them my battle scars. I am glad you both say it is absolutely ok. ☺

Strong message, amazing ! Thank you Jessica for your videos. Merci :)

This, this, this, this, THIS!!!!! I needed this today as I'm crying over so much pain throughout my joints and GI and head.

I really needed this!

Your videos are so necessary. I struggle with a lot but it’s unbelievably comforting to hear it spoken by someone else. Thank you 💚

I have been WAITING for this!! I needed this!♥️♥️♥️