I felt the same way, what helped me is deciding for one week (or whatever time period you’d like) to just call myself lesbian- it doesn’t have to be to someone but just to yourself and see how the label makes you feel and if u become more comfortable with it. For me the first day I was like eh I’m not sure but by the end of the week I was like nope I am a LESBIAN and it feels great to finally have a label be comfortable, in the past I’ve called myslef bi/pan/straight/ace and nothing felt right like gay :’) 🌈 hope this helps!!

I hope that you're well

@@dianaz.3428 right!! i also first assumed i was straight bc i never thought abt anything else and i didn’t realize that it’s not normal to obsess over girls growing up well have a crush on them etc i assumed it’s normal to feel that for women or that it was normal for me at the age of 10 to watch girls kissing girls videos and feeling a type of way abt it. and i always needed a label so for a while i said i was bi and last year i thought i was bi w a 90-95% preference for women since i never dated a man. since i never went out w a man. since i never flirted w a guy i knew irl etc nor have i ever crushed on one unless i just found them attractive and then said “i will now crush on them for a month or two” n i did it without even knowing it. i mistook the only crush i had for liking men when in reality i missed the attention one man gave me and i grabbed onto another guy that reminded me of him just so i could get over not getting attention. if that makes sense. so lately i never asked myself if i did like girls or not i always knew i did to some degree i had to and have to ask myself if i actually like men or if it’s just what society expects me to want. simple comp het yet so annoying bc i want to feel comfortable in being a lesbian but the feeling of never being able to date a woman bc i’m a femme that likes femmes makes me think i won’t have a chance at falling in love or ever having any sexual relationships. and i want sex and it’s weird how my brain would rather have sex w men or date some guy just to fill the void of being lonely rather i actually have those feelings for him or i have that feeling solely when i get the attention of a man. it’s frustrating really. i always mistook the anxiety i felt around men for butterflies and i thought it was normal. but clearly when i grow up making my female dolls scissor before i know what sex is and try to make out w this big bratz doll head for hair styling that i had and looking back it’s very clear that what i feel women is different than for men. but i never got to express that ever and i do feel like i miss out on having the experience w a man and maybe i should just wait for a girl but i feel like if i could be w a man that it would help me understand my feelings better. i want to have sex w a man just to be sure that i don’t like them or do tolerate them. i wish it was easy but i rly do like the lesbian label but i still am told i should be hopeful bc “maybe u just haven’t met the right guy” so i won’t be too hard on myself and i would rather try it out to know for sure if there would be a change of me LIKING being w ONE specific man.

@@kay-cm3lw thank u i love u

@@okidgaf7643 I want you to know that your experiences are valid. It seems like you're too hard on yourself. I want you to go with what feels right. Also, a reminder that you don't need to be with a man once to know that you don't like men. Sometimes, you can just know without having any sort of experience with a guy/girl/pal. Just a bit of advice that helped recently after coming out as lesbian, is to look into the different types of attraction. There's aesthetic, sensual, emotional, romantic, sexual etc. It's easy to say that you find a man attractive and immediately put that attraction into the romantic attraction category. I wish you the best of luck! You're so very loved. Please take care of yourself. Amazing things happen to amazing people, so I hope that you can be and become the best and your most authentic self. Stay safe :))

You don’t deserve to be in any relationships/situations that feel like a chore or make you feel horrible. ❤️❤️❤️ sending love and rainbows 🌈 🦋🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈😘

LOLed. I 100% agree lmao. No sandwiches for John. But Jenny......... ~smirks~

@@CourtneyTheExplorer I am a lesbian how tell my mum and dad ???.

@@michellelohde8683 you don't have to. But if you do want to, I would recommend dropping little things at first like "oh my friend is gay" or "that celebrity just came out" or "Hey would you wanna go to pride with me?" That last one is a little forward and something you'd probably wanna wait til you KNOW they're not homophobic. If they ask if you're gay, think about how you'll respond. Good luck, you got this 👍

@@amandasunshine2 I AM ENAGED TO MY PANTER MAYA SHE IS 45 AND I AM 35 SHE IS BEST .

@@michellelohde8683 but did you tell your parents?

I had faceless desires I want love and marriage Love and marriage to what I thought was a man any man no specific man the compulsory heterosexuality document talks about that on the other end of the spectrum.

Of course you couldnt give him a STRAIGHT answer😗

Had a little daydream then about making a film of your experiences ✨ 💕. .....

@@milliewienhart5051 aaaaggggghhhhhh I thought the same !!!!!!!!!!!! 😮

DHDHDHGSJKXH SAME since i was gr 1 to like gr 5 i always chose a boy crush 😭 i also said a lot of stuff about how "women are just prettier than men" to my parents before i knew so that should have been a sign although i wasnt even a decade yr old when i said those i just thought of them as pretty in a "bestfriend way" (it was very much NOT in a best friend way)

thank you so much for this comment

So happy for you ❤

I'm going to try it out too :)

Currently, i'm close enough to something that you call non-binary lesbian! Idk but i'm still searching for it though

@@selinao9933 i came out as lesbain age 22 my dad and mum was shock but apcet me now they helping planing my wedding to my girlfriend Maya .

@@michellelohde8683 that is so great I love that for you ❤️❤️❤️ congratulations 🎉

I grew up in the eighties and early nineties with no Internet so the only research or reference points on lesbian culture was available from the local library or word of mouth ! The first book I got my hands on with lesbian content was such a discouraging tome called the Well of Loneliness by Radcliffe Hall. A few hundred pages of build up before the crushing disappointment of 'then she took her and kissed her as a man'. There might be a pub if you didn't live out in the sticks, that hosted a monthly gay night, probably with cheesy drag Queens! So association's with the L word were generally women wearing dungarees and Doc Martens , short spiky un -dyed hair with a face screaming no make up! Desert Hearts on video tape was about as close to Bette and Tina as we ever got ! We didn't even know femme lesbians existed! When I was in my teens I was so unsure about the word I can actually recall saying 'I'm not a lesbian but I fancy you ..........!!!!' ( Oh the shame ! 😳)

I just don’t like the feel of the word… it’s not negative stereotypes. I mean I use it when talking about gay women, but in coming out to people I say “I’m gay.” I also just don’t like having another word for women. I see no need for it. I know there are others who disagree vehemently (and would try to tear me a new one and say I’m anti-feminist, but I popped out of the womb a feminist).

This might be my favorite comment ever. lol I feel you on all this. Keep doing what feels good and things will fall into place. Sending all the love and rainbows ❤️❤️❤️❤️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

@@CourtneyTheExplorer HAHA awww this put a big smile on my face :)))) the online community is always so wonderful THANK YOU COURTNEY :)!

im dying at this comment lol. you just described the rollercoaster of my love life for the past few years. ive been consistently searching for a girlfriend but then meeting men who end up liking me, but usually due to my changed behavior around them and then i look at the situation from an outside perspective and realize how i dont want anything to do with them and they really are attached to me. its bad and weird and its stopping now bc i kept flip flopping about lesbianism out of uncertainty, but i havent been uncertain about liking women. i have only been uncertain of men.i also resonated with gender envy with the men i seem to like. sometimes i view them like woah i wish i was like that. a heap load of sexual/emotional trauma did not help this equation, but the ruh roh in this comment also made me smile. i hope ur doing well fellow human :)

@@isabella-ee5us woooof, yeah. I feel. it's crazy how even when you date them you're not given the answer, i always thought it would be so black and white, but ig it never is. hahah, hope everything turns out. sending luv

Well that's compulsory heterosexuality. Comp het is a the cookie cutter for sexuality and love and intimacy so when you in any way diverge, like being gay, not even being attracted to people at all or being in a threeway relationship, it's all not comp het

@@angellovex5860 And yet people understand what being gay means, but are mostly confused or in denial about asexuality.

YESSSS love!! So happy for you!!!! xox

@@CourtneyTheExplorer FYI: I'm big strong knuckle draggen white boy!!! LOVE women KNEW it from a very early age NEVER dated a man

@@hfactor6429 lmao. cheers

Like a sort of bingo, yes you have at least the half of the masterdoc points, congratz! I have no idea tbh and it terrifies me :)

It's just a journey, try not to put pressure on yourself I'm 35 years old and that's my best advice I'm still questioning and went through masterdoc. relax don't put pressure on yourself to put a label on if you identify as bi now and it changes later that's okay hugs update: I haven't labeled myself officially, except maybe gay lol and have been on my first date with a woman.🌈💄

felt literally everything in this comment 😔 like straight relationships in tv and books are enjoyable but straight porn is,, nah

Except I don't feel attraction to women either.

I feel the same way

yes!!

hahahah tehe

RELATABLE!

😂❤️❤️ lmao sameeee 😩

@@CourtneyTheExplorer lol I’m back the cycles real lol 😂😭😂💕

I have figured out that my body is bisexual in that my pheromones pick out both men and women as suitable mates, but that I’m homo-romantic. For example, with men I always feel a bit odd, with women I feel at home, with men I’m not really interested in pleasuring them (what a chore) but with women I’m very much interested in pleasuring them. And when I picture myself in the future, I picture myself with a woman. Once I realised all of that, I realised I never wanted to be with a man again (and I’ve been married to a man who was a great lover who almost never wanted the focus to be totally on him). However, if I were someone who was okay with one night stands or friends with benefits I could see having sex with a man (and so understand lesbians who do), but I’m not that person… hence, the realisation I’m never having sex with a man again even if I find him sexually attractive.

Maybe you are asexual or a demisexual or have a different libido than your ex parteners? You can ask yourself how would you feel about having sex with a woman or if that is sth that you would see in a relationship. Best of luck in figuring it out!! I know it's confusing as hell

lol same

aw yay!!!

Read the master doc. Can't stop crying

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Yes.

@@CourtneyTheExplorer Perhaps cuddling time as well heheh Sorry for moving too fast with this, annnd thts why im single mom ahahha...Purrrrrrrrrr

@@CourtneyTheExplorer Sooo wht was ur answer hehehh....Meow

@@CourtneyTheExplorer Also, i might have an attraction towards u each time i se u. Is tht strange??? Ugh 😍😍😍.....Meeeooow

Oh but you don't have a problem with the label "bi" but the word "lesbian" triggers you!?

for other species it's true too

Bruuh india isn’t a different planet, humans are actually really similar to each other in a big picture, nature🤷‍♀️

@Ripley Walters-Giblin the doc is dangerous, specifically to young questioning wlw, do not spread it, please.

@@blackandwhitethinking how is it dangerous???? It helps plenty of people figure out they’re lesbians, or helps confirm that they’re not. It changed my life because I related to nearly everything on there, and it helped my bi and ace friends realize that they weren’t lesbians. I understand that there’s plenty of biphobia, but the masterdoc really really helps lesbians and I don’t understand why you would keep people from wanting to understand themselves.

@@KazKindred613 ugh really

Are you a man? Lol

@@darkhorse7460 LMAO