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Relationship,friendship,family... Stand up for yourself!!

Sisters your value is not in your education nor cash value- those are your assets. Your value is your self love, pride, inner strength and resilience. A man can not give you that- he should have his own before you even open the door to entertain his company.

This is done in the most subtlest of ways and it applies to everyone. When you fail to establish or allow someone to violate your boundaries.

RUN!!! IT WILL ESCALATE!!!!!

Once they get comfortable disrespecting you, it won’t stop. And the bad treatment gets worse. Best to get out and don’t turn back. Learn what you like and what you won’t put up with. Stop giving them asshats so many chances. Be prepared to walk away if the situation come to that.

You have to love yourself & know your worth. That's where it starts. I've been there, done that. Lack of self respect causes a person to overlook & allow mistreatment & abuse. Protect your heart, your peace, spirit, body & energy.

Thank you. I need to get the courage to walk away. I'm doing most of the work anyway. I'm getting older, my kids are practically grown and I want someone to share my life with. Yet I don't need someone to treat me like I can't find another love or think I'm desperate.

I had a relationship with this guy years ago and we connected back so I just wanted to be his friend and only his friend. The reason why I wanted to be his friend is because he had a great sense of humor. We laughed and had a good time. So when he and I started talking again he said something to me that was outta line so I told him, ok buddy this will be the last time I will call u. Nope u will not disrespect me any form or any way. Absolutely not. There go the sense of humor out the door.

Codependency is a real thing. I had to learn how to be single and enjoy my space and time; breaking social norms to find and completely be happy. Emotional health is sequential in being truly happy with and in your life. Appreciate the words and love stopping by to hear great content. Peace my brother!!

You have to remove yourself from those that do not value you, even his you love that person. Please pick up and move forward, you'll be ok. In time you'll be grateful you did.

Congratulations on your engagement! One day, maybe you and The Ebony Star Network could do a live stream talking about black love, relationships, economics and family.

Your happiness comes first

Extremely true, Shumake - stop it dead in its tracks!! Do not let anyone waste your time, mental health, and/or good years in a relationship with someone that is physically and/or mentally abusive. If you allow the abuse to begin, it's more likely to never end, and the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave, due to possibly developing an attachment to the person over time and mistaking it for love. Always choose you first and leave as soon as possible! Thanks a bunch Shumake!!

Thank you for this video. I had to learn this the hard way but I learned. Patiently working on myself and my purpose while waiting on my husband. Also your skin is gorgeous.

GED men controlling PhD women. Get out sis.

Let rotten people go! I could cry at the thought that my husband was in my face the whole time but I was too busy dealing with somebody rotten to see it.

No matter what money or success one has, Low self-esteem can be present. These women you are talking about dont need your advice...they NEED THERAPY! Please direct them to the nearest therapist so they find some sanity and healing.

If you are looking at this because you have an issue Google "Narcissist" - this issue is so much bigger than drawing boundaries.

Any physical abuse leave him! He needs therapy and anger management. Leave him!

That’s mature reflection.

Congratulations on your engagement handsome but power is in the tongue 👅 be careful of the things that u manifest. The universe doesn't kno what ur heart believes only the things that u say. Outta the heart the mouth speaketh so watch what u say.

One thing I do not believe in is being STUCK anywhere, especially in a relationship/marriage. One is never stuck, they are just too afraid (for whatever reason) to walk away. After awhile, people just become volunteers to their own demise.

It's amazing that even at this time in life for me after the loss of my husband and starting to date again i appreciate all of the great reminders of how to appreciate myself as as a woman thank you again for blessing me with your thoughts and words may God continue to bless you and yours

You know what.. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Straight on uncoding..the "mansplain", is good. When we as women stand in these spaces you're talking about they call us masculine. . When really fact is. ... It means we've had a stable man in our lives who 1 has no motives in his conversation. 2 is happy and 3 just being honest and speaking game. The flip side of what you're saying is the gaslighting from some men...who talk soooo much mess about women, but really aren't Deserving of a Wife. Congratulations on you're engagrment!

Straight facts. This advice is going to help me so much at work. I'm dealing with so many passive-aggressive people. I need to start addressing my issues with their disrespectful behavior right when it happens. Do you think it's possible to change people's perspective of you when they feel you are nice and passive?

Some women and men dont like to be alone..so they will put up with anything from a man just to say they have somebody

GET OUT NOW!

The only way for people to know how to treat you, teach them by showing them what you won't tolerate...boundries!!!🛑🚫

Ten years....twenty years...thirty years (whatever) walk away before its too late. Your dignity and morals and sense of self should know a situation is toxic asf. Do the work, rebuild yourself to attract the energy you want, and then write down/pray/meditate for what you want. And then work on another area of your life until your significant other arrives.

The police are my best friend, I have their number on speed dial. An ex is not allowed back in my presence, if a man throw a shot, I’m throwing one right back’atcha. I don’t want to be around people who don’t respect me.

Congratulations 🎉 on you all’s engagement!

You are so deep and real. Glad to have found this channel.

You're the uncle I never had. Thank you for the advice. Just saying this applies to friendships/ any relationship too. Thanks again Shumake! :) You honestly helped me in a way you don't understand.

Get out sister or brother.

Run fast don't stop 🛑 life is so great.

I can relate to both situations..I've been with mine over 25 years and is not married and the same thing he's cheated, comes in whenever he feels like it and say whatever comes to his mind with no regards of my feelings..I'm to the point where my everyday mission is to get my money up and move on..

Thx & That’s right 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿I do not take people for granted & I don’t wanna treat people cruel either Therefore I treat people the way I wanna be treated !! If a MFK trying to chk my temperature he will get burned 🤷🏿‍♀️. I’m too kind & too loving to be played by a fool or to be treated like one 🤷🏿‍♀️🙋🏿‍♀️💜

Thank you for this needed, important and resonating message. We teach people how to treat us. Respect and love yourself. Set boundaries and do not allow anyone to disrespect you.

If you are in an abusive relationship leave now. Take your ss card , important documents, a few clothes and go. The same man who told me he loved me was the same man who threatened to cave my scull in. It's ok to be single. Peace is worth more than gold.

If he cheats he’s gone! Get rid of him!

What a powerful message...love this👏🏽

All facts 💯

You know you telling the truth Brother!! I had to learn the hard way also Sister!

Just found your channel. It is good to see many of these topics being covered. I appreciate the perspective from a man of God. I can see you are still growing spiritually as those of us who are followers are. I would one day like to see you cover a very important topic that has not been covered. Physical, emotional, financial, mental abuse from a woman on a man. This topic has largely been hidden and swept under the rug because of the shame factor that exists for the stereotypical sexual statistics that exist.

You give me hope every time I catch one of your videos.

Women are and can be both financially successful and beautiful..... Come correct!

I believe that no one deserves to be treated like trash. No matter if you’re busted and disgusted; human decency calls for respect. Hurt is hurt 😞. But the unfortunate truth ,in my opinion , is many people who see themselves as busted and disgusted do stay 😞 because someone is willing to be with them in such a sad condition of life even in the abuse. However, I do agree that if anyone that thinks enough of themselves to work hard to do better for theirselves should also feel worthy of getting or keeping a partner that is like wise. But hey🤷🏾‍♀️ there are actual people out here today that like being treated like trash. Let those abusers be forced to seek out what they are💕. Love your channel 🙌🏾

I think the woman who man blames her for him cheating wanted to break up with her and she basically made (aka begged or connive in some way) him stay. When someone wants to leave you, please let them go.

Well said and explained. There was a elderly man that we known but he passed away a few years. He told us growing up as a teenager if someone in your life if they do not have interest in your matters or vice versa it counts for both ways. It's not sign to walk away or keep accepting what you permitted to take place in your life. Love thy self and your self esteem for real...👍🏾👍🏾💯💯💕💖💖✊🏾✊🏾

You are so right! Thank you!!

Congratulations on your engagement! You are walking the walk and not just talking the talk. You are a very wise young man 💯

They deserve better , they need to get out of the situation 💯

I think it’s because we still look down on single women( especially now with the social media relationship culture, men shaming single women on the internet, women making “single and lonely” videos, etc.). It’s getting better out here, but let’s be real, humans are pack animals. Most don’t want to be alone. I’m not saying put up with BS but we do treat people in relationships/long term relationships (especially women) with higher regard than a single woman. Like even if the relationship is trash because she said she’s in a 5+ year relationship people don’t ask any further questions, but if she’s single 5+ yrs, it’s like she on trail for murder. For the most part( I’m not saying all people respond like this..) I think it’s beyond her just having low self esteem. It is a status symbol for women to be in long term relationships or to just have someone period.

Congrats on your engagement❤! She's a blessed woman.

Wow! I just saw a random video from a black Dude on KZfaq jaxxn talk about narcissist men! He described the exact same Man U talk about here!

Thank you brother great video 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Shumake this video is so timely. This happens in relationships, with family and in friendships. Something happened to me this evening as I am writing and I recognised a few things previously but let it pass convincing myself that I was not a convenience to a friend who got married about four years ago. However, tonight was the straw that broke the camel's back and I realise that the relationship is no longer mutual but on her terms.

Great advice and well explained from your and my experience cause it's what you accept and never be the second choice in life for nothing and especially when not giving respect to each other period. Thanks for sharing Shumake great video and take care.👍👐👐💞💞💖

THE LORD HAS BEEN SO GOOD TO YOU ,HE HAS BLESSED YOU WITH SO MUCH WISDOM TO EXCELL AND BLESS SO MANY PEOPLE LIVES

Dang! I thought I was doing wrong by cutting folks off as soon as they eff up, but if I go by what you say, I'm golden. Getting rid of them just opened the door to the blessing I had coming. ;) As for sis whose dude tried to choke her out (did I get that right?).... Pls tell her that a hot iron worked for me, but anything she can grab could help. Tell her not to fear hurting him, or that he'll hurt her if she does. He doesn't fear hurting *her.* Thanks brotha Shumake, and congratulations!

This is sad. Unfortunately, women will suffer for years before she leaves the man. I think I got it, by ways of being introspective and honest with myself- just a practical view. If mistreated, some women will hope that the behavior is temporary and will improve with time. So, they are mistreated 90% of the time and 10% receive manipulated good treatment. The women then sees the 10% of a sign that things can get better. She will crave for that 10%, ignoring the 90%. There is also an ego part. The thought that this person does not really love you, maybe painful to accept. How can he not love me, when...? or if he leaves, he will find someone else to love and my years of investment will be thrown away?. So, here are some suggestions, questions or things to think about. 1. Say it. This man does not love me. Say it, even if it hurts. Then, believe it. 2. How many more years am I loosing? How many more years do I have before me to experience happiness if I stay here? 3. I can be happy by myself. I have value, and prefer to be alone, than to be devalued. His words don't have power. What he says about me is a lie and he does so because he wants to control me. He studied me and knows my insecurities (then go back to #1. He does not love me). If necessary, only if necessary. Replay the incident and take time to feel the words he used against you. Don't think about your part. Just replay the words again and feel it. 4. Look at the him. Really look at him. See how he looks at you. Is it with disgust, anger or scornful. That my dear is how someone , who does love you, looks at you. You now feel like you are less, based on those looks, right?. Be honest, would you treat someone you love they way you are being treated? If its been 1or 10 years, do you really want to give this person more of your time? Your tears, Your worries? If someone else gets him, how would that affect you? Will you feel angry, because he will be giving someone else, something you deserve? When was he planning to give you that love? Should you have awaited to see? My Dear, that's control. No one denies love to those they love.

truth!!

Congrats 🎉🎉 on your engagement. I wish you every happiness. Keep doing great!!

Believe it or not some men are not easily controlled by women being beautiful as an excuse for a woman to disrespect them but that’s a rare few. I think some men need to start having more of a backbone when it comes to how women treat them.

You are very wise young man, keep it coming... I’m all ears!!!

I'm sitting thinking if they are intelligent they wouldn't still be there, a lot of people compromise their own happiness cause why, I said it before scared of being alone, we put up with anything, it's a wrap class dismissed

Sounds so familiar I'm glad I got out of that situation took years but I'm out

These are very Toxic relationship!!! He will never love and respect her, because she doesn’t love and respect herself!!!

Sound words 🙏

Congrats 🎆👏👏 so happy for the both of you!

So true 🤍🤍🤍

You Can't Teach Grown Folks Nothing... Because The Brain Is Already Set And Is Formed... People Do What Is In Them...You Just Have To Move Accordingly...

Congratulations on your engagement

Be a wife after you're exclusive with someone.

Hey now. Relationship Coach!

Congratulations!🎊🎉 🖤

All Day!

Can you please bring some clarity around what you meant when you said “be a wife before you’re married”. I’m just afraid that a lot of these young girls are going to interpret that as you telling them to get on their backs and cook and clean and do a whole bunch of stuff for the guy to prove their “worth” to him. I personally understand the message you were trying to relay to them, but I’m worried about the young girls who might think you’re saying something that you’re not really saying. I’m certain that you have their best interest at heart. Thank you 🙏

💯🔥

My Husband's quote to the children were. "Ain't no hair that long or di---k that strong, to get trampled on"

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

💚💐💚💐💚💐💚💐💚

Simp-ly mind boggling! Smh being in a "bad relationship" is 100% your own fault... PERIOD!! TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY!🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️🤔🤔💯

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