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Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child. This especially applies to narc mothers.

Anything that starts off with "Your Narcissistic Mother...." has my immediate & full attention. 💀💀

“ She hated you from the moment you were conceived “….. I felt that…. And I agree.

To have a narcissistic MOTHER is the Nr.1 toughest place you can have a narcissist in your life. (especially Covert because you are boiling like a frog with her until you realize. and nobody understands whats going on and people dont believe you when you finally come to understanding) My warmest greetings to all who have had same situation.

I now know my sister and mom were cruel because they were jealous.

A narcissist traumatized person who survived will remain energetic, strong, resilient and can stand any storm whether financial or physical storm anytime anywhere on earth.

A decade later after I went NC, I still live rent-free in her head. Had to get my lawyer involved after she would defy his cease and desist letters, sending “well-meaning” cards around the holidays (some birthday, huh?), stalking my new address/es, etc. All the chances I gave her, the wiggle room, second chances, etc. … no more. She physically abused my father even stabbing him with a knife. Then she thought she could control me well into my late teens early 20s. Packed my sh!t and left. And only NOW does she claim to be “sorry for all the hurt”. Pffft… apology not accepted. The fact she violated my boundaries after I got out of there only gives me MORE incentive to keep her blocked, deleted, and OUT OF MY LIFE.

I had a narc mother and 2 wives. Learning lots about how these losers function and how to keep these monsters away.

I knew something wasn't right with my mother, my senses picked it up as a child. As much as I tried to relate to her, nothing worked. Of course I thought it was my fault. This feeling of not being good enough made it difficult to make friends and have successful relationships. My journey has been tough but I'm proud of how strong, resilient and resourceful I am. But I think I avoid emotion because I can't really feel and don't cry. Thank you Danish for your helpful and insightful advice 😊

my first manipulator. children have no built in defense against manipulation.

Thank you Danish. My mother was a malignant covert narc.my brother was the golden child. She died last april at the age of 91. Im free ,finally

You are correct, my mother was narcissist, I experienced all as you explained. Now I am 58 and no contact with her. Yes I am very strong. Now I am almost healed and healing. Thank you very much.

She got away with a lot and continues to not be held accountable for anything.

She is often telling people that when she was pregnant with me, it was the most difficult pregnancy she has ever experienced out of my 6 siblings. No wonder I feel unsafe in this world. I deal with anxiety, lots of fear and I have attracted many people like her.

Yes that voice, programming. Worse is the energy, the dark harmful intent to keep you suppressed, degraded, destroyed.

A narcissist mother tortures her own child physically, mentallly, psychologically, emotionally exactly the same way the spell " Crucio" does in Harry Potter.......

My mother to a "t". I was dating my future husband at the time, and as a freshman in college ,she told me "I was no daughter of hers and she never wanted to see me again." I was crushed for about an hour and a half, then the inner resolve rose up in me and I said,"well, if that's what she wants, that's what she'll get!". So thankful my husband didn't drop me like a hot potato. She confronted him once to no avail. Without her help, I graduated college and then went on to dental school. The thing that amazes me most is her lack of remorse. She successfully alienated all 5 of us kids and never knew any of her grandkids, told my older sister none of that ever bothered her. I did go to her funeral and was amazed at "what a wonderful person she was."

Yes, fifty five years later, and especially after her passing l often hear her voice inside my head with her favorite phrases: "Don't ask me for help, no one ever helped me! If you don't like it, get out! You can't keep a job! You dont do sh!t!" and etc. 😩 Thank you, Danish for this video and for all your successful efforts and videos that contribute to my understanding of narcissistic abuse and continued healing. Thank you for your unwavering support, and for being a beacon of strength and hope. 🙏🏼 Sending You Love & Light. 🥀❤🌈☀️

my whole family is my first bully. not just her. there are 2 parents in a household. they both hated me. the whole family hated me. thats the way it was then, maybe still now. hate the child that ties you to a monster. even tho you were there to create the child and went willingly. and lets not forget the older sister who also hated me.

This was very insightful and encouraging. For 50 years i endured my mother's bullying. It took another 15 years for me to understand she was a narcissist and by then she had been dead for that amount of time. Even now, with this understanding (which I did not have then) I still wonder how I muddled my way through it all.

She for sure was unpredictable. I’d come home from elementary and then middle school and look in the windows to see what kind of a “mood” she was in. When she would beat me and say to my brother “if you cry I’ll beat her harder.” Well no wonder he (who was taught to be the Golden Child ultra narc) and I have a trauma bond.

Yep. At 19 I got married to someone who could/did back my mother down. What I didn't know was that he, too, was Also a narc. THAT pattern Stuck! All the main characters were narcs! I'm 85. NOW I'm learning HOW and WHY this happened. THANKS, Danish! Your videos show me Truth! It IS a relief to know 'how and why'... Because I thought I've been so awful, so penitent, so guilty. I AM an okay person! Wow.

My step sister has a narcissistic mother, and she doesn’t even know.. she kind of admires her, but her mother is ruining everything😕

Yes, I carry the voice and I am 64 years old. Don't hold the baby, just prop up the bottle in the crib, introducing me as her sister, never home to provide dinner, called dirty words and wished she never had me, wished I died, laughed when I cried, etc. I'm just now facing this truth. Danish, you speak with such sincerity and your words hit me like a brick. Somebody finally gets it.

Yes, Narcissistic (in my case Covert NPD) mother is the worst enemy. The person who envies you and secretly hopes you fail because of her own inferiorities. Have to be very strong to step over it raise and develop regardless. Only those who have experienced know the amount of EXTRA inner POWER ⚡we need in comparison to people who grow without such masked inner enemy.

isnt there a man in that dynamic who just lets it happen? who doesnt lift a finger to protect the child so he doesnt get the narc's attention on him... its never just one unless there is only one parent.

My narc mom abused me for 60 years … yet I still took good care of her as she got old & sick. Now I’m dealing with multiple stress related illnesses & trying to finally heal.

Thank you for this. My mother cursed the moment of my conception and then cried for the nine months she carried me. I was a baby that rarely cried which I think is telling. Despite being resilient, I am very weak bc I've developed MS. I wish I had known about NPD years ago. She still harms my life at 55! What an evil and unnatural personality. Sadly my sister has the same NPD . Running the gauntlet between these 2 disagreeable people my whole life is cruel and the other two members are enablers.

It has been 1 1/2 years since I went No Contact with my narc mother and her 2 Golden Children/my siblings. She is 89 years old and I tried, I really tried to tough it out until she died and hang in there until then. But I couldn't take it any more. I have not felt this fantastic since I was 4 years old which is the last time that I remember my mother being kind to me. I am nearly 65 years old.

Every child needs parents that love and adore them, to be the center of their love and devotion. Lucky child. To have a mother who just adores you and wants your joy and well being , ❤❤❤

I have narcissistic mother and I have a lot of insecurities, fears and trauma. I am very depressed and not strong at all, even though I stop having any relationship with mother long time ago. 🤷‍♀️

I remember having panic attacks from my narcissistic mothers' abuse. I turned to God from an early age and he helped me. I am now rebuilding my life and I still call on God almighty to help me.

Even just the title of the video hit hard Danish! First bully and first abuser.. who destroyed a part of my soul I'm still grappling for!!

Having a narcissistic mother is unreal .it’s literally the worst kind of mother ever to exist. Even the word monster isn’t enough to describe her

You described my life as if you were there.

She would flip between being the nicest person ever and putting me on a pedistal to rage. She told me on an almost daily basis how ashamed she was of me and made continual veiled threats to abandon me. This after she kidnapped me from my father at age 3. As an adult she was welcomed into my family and began trying to turn my kids against me - I realized this is exactly what she did to my father before taking me. That's when I started trying to learn how to deal w this and discovered NPD. Your work is so on point brother. Thank you for providing this channel. ❤

Even as a father of 3 kids, I still hear my narcissistic mother's voice in my head! Though, I have told her its over between us. She prepared me to become a narcissist's magnet in my adult life. Guess what? I married someone exactly like her because I did not know what narcissism was then. It's been 3 years that I heard about narcissism and I have been learning and healing ever since.

Right at the end, you struck steel... I've always been the problem, no matter what I became later... ...well, it was never good enough, it seems...🤔

I talked to my therapist about the difference of myself and my other two brothers. I was the ungroomed mess. They had the support, and I was left to myself.

There is also this weird situation in some cultures where the uncle/aunt is a Narcissist and your parents won't do anything about it just to keep peace. The Narcs will get invited to all family events and your parents ask you to "adjust". That's being low key flying monkeys for the Narcissist.

It took me the 2020 pandemic 😷 for me to FULLY understand what I went through with my narc mother.. she was my first bully 😊 now I bully her lmao she never protected me, or stood by my side, allowed another bully (Caroline) to treat me the same way.. She was neglectful, and abandoned me. She kept me in the garage, threatened to leave me stranded, dumped food on me, verbally, emotionally abusive, gossiping.. compared me to others. My childhood was the female form of the Nightstalker… the movie Ella Enchanted is the PERFECT movie on narcissistic abuse.. and the experiences I’ve had with it in life. 😊

Yes , my narcissistic mother was my first bully, she used to do Terrible things with me to control me , i remember when i was 9 years old she once rushed to a terrace pretended that she is gonna suicide if i don't respect her basically if i don't listen to her..but she pretended this to me & my younger brother so many times but she never did anything lol😅 but those incidents left me in a deep fear & self hatred.

Every time I hear an affirmation in a psych video, in my head, It's always followed by. . "And doggone it, people like me."😂 ( Saturday Night Live skit reference)

My mother confided in once me that soon after I was born my father was in the habit of saying to her. "If you do not shut that kid up then I am going to give her something to cry about." She finally left my prone to be violent father only after all 4 of her children became adults when her life was in imminent danger if she were to stay with him while he was starting to show signs of alcoholic dementia. She chose to do that while wanting his financial help contributions to our upbringing. I cannot say for sure if any of us would have survived at all while being cared for by only our mother who had only a grade 6 education and training in how to be a seamstress while there was no chance of her succeeding in runnning a couteur dressmaking service here in this city only 3 years after this city got declared no longer on a frontier. Her sharp tongue was hard to live with too sometimes while everyone outside of our family beieved she was like a saint. I do not judge her.

For the last week I've been going through a hard trigger episode. I'm still recovering but your channel really helps ❤

Sweet Danish, please accept this compliment in the most purest intentions ever. I am probably old enough to be your mother, so I’m not being inappropriate in anyway. I just wanted to tell you you have the sweetest most most gentle soul I think I’ve ever seen on this platform ever. we share a similar story sadly but it helps me to feel very connected in like a weird kinship way with you not weird, but you know what I’m saying. I hope you do. Lol ~ .My point is I wanted to tell you how beautiful I think you are ~ I just think you’re absolutely a beautiful angel but on the inside there’s such divinity in there and I just have such an appreciation for your beautiful, authentic and vulnerable soul sharing, and helping so many people. Thank you sweet young man. Thank you thank you thank you and I’m sending so much love to you and I am wishing for an abundance to gently reign across your life and all of your loves for the rest of your walk on this earth. I wish you abundance, joy, and healing and safety, and feeling of comfort and feelings of Utter laughter from the inside out. I hope all of your dreams will come true I know they will. I know they will, because we do not experience this severe contrast that we do if we didn’t come here to be the people that experienced it to dream in the new existence that’s coming due to the law attraction I just want to send my love to you. I am also a Libra and I’m very wordy, so please forgive me. ❤️🙌🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️🙌🏼❤️

I actually had an aha moment when you said "your mother hated you when you were conceived!' It hurt but it's only because no one ever put it that way before and it's the truth! I still ask why I had to have a narcissistic mother, why me?? What did I do to deserve this inhuman person giving birth to me? To torture me, hurt me and leave me feeling hopeless and abandoned throughout my childhood and today! 😢Thank you for opening my eyes to things I never knew. Hopefully I'll understand it someday. Excuse me because now I need to cry. 😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

What's bother me is that still it's taboo talking about why you had to leave her, your whole family and the whole town to get away of her grasp and circle of abuse. You are not only your family outcast but also a social misfit. I have hear narcissists telling me without knowing me well and just one interaction that I was abused. They know it. They can smell you. They just need to read your body language. It feels like a curse. She told me once, I was the first one to learn how to walk (my legs looked like if I was born riding a horse, curved unnaturally) and I knew that was because I knew I had to rush my growing up in order to get some needs. It's been a lifelong torture and I'm not healed yet. Maybe I won't ever be completely healed due to my age but at least, nowadays, I can hear or read "mother" or "family" without getting triggered and look completely like a nut case. Anyway, my life has been hell and she sat me down for failure in all aspects of life. That's why I can't find, safe people and safe relationships, neither with men or women. I hope there's a hell because she deserves one of her own and be all by herself because that's what she is most afraid; being alone. I know it's not over even if she died, she recruited my siblings and others to finish her dirty job.

Yes I survived but my relationships with others was difficult. Sadly I didn't know how to judge characters and married a narcissistic man, however I got the strength to divorce him.

She still ruins my life to this day and i'm 33. Of course i'm still foolish enough to let her into my private life.

Not my mom, her sisters and mother were my first bullies!

My mom used to say ,even when I was a child, she got some thyroid issues because I was born and that I am guilty for it. If I point out her own cruelity and stupidity then ofc she gets freaked out

Almost 80 years old, I no longer hear her voice, but I do feel the emotions that voice instilled in my body from memories of her in my second year with the birth of my brother.

My mother always told me that I was a perfect baby when I was born (unlike the horrible disgusting daughter that I am now as an adult) . She says that I was a perfect baby because I did not require any attention and that I could just entertain myself by laying in the crib by looking at the ceiling. Please, just take a second to think about what she is saying. I had a dad that beat me up in the most horrific sense you can imagine (head against the wall, breaking my nose, etc) while my mom was watching the scene every time right behind him. This has been a painful journey but I am 90% recovered. I am 30 years old. I have a very successful career in finance. I have amazing friends that will kill for me. I am the happiest and anxiety free I have ever been. Everyone who went through this, please don’t let the evil to break you. You are good and kind. Don’t let them win.

My mother has actually told me, on multiple occasions cause once isn't enough, that the day the doctor called her (1969) to inform her that she was pregnant with me, she slid down the kitchen wall (with the phone in hand) in tears completely devastated. That'll make you feel wanted and loved, huh. 😢

Ooooh it all applies to my mother-in-law!!!!!!!

Still healing, thank you ❤

Yes. How can a child be mocked for crying after their mother made fun of their weight? Anorexic until I was 18, I weighed 89 pounds, at almost 6 feet tall, and was still bullied by my mother for being "fat", while she weighed 400 pounds.

My mom literally left me for the dead. I always felt like she was competing with me and she was super jealous of the love me and my dad shared too.

this is true, Danish, truthfully I was feeling a bit panicky this morning like I felt like I was teetering on the edge sort of *emotionally.......due to my situation that I have not been able to escape *yet........and the comments and your vids helped me to right my course again, realizing why and what it's about...........to induce fear and trauma......so thank you. will be coming back later today and watch more.........God bless all..........keep healing!

i have given up on healing i have 60 years narc abuse. i am trying to understand it so i can forgive and move on. i am 66 i might have 20 years left. it be nice to know what happy means

Forty-eight years of my narcissist mom sucking the life out of me , oppressing me and preventing my freedom from her and life of my own , I have survived her emotionally abusing me for twenty-five years , it's been living hell and I knew it but I didn't know what I was stuck in that is her responsibility to be held responsible for incurring on me

My mother and my elder sister both are narcissist person

You are exactly right in all of this and I’m so happy that you have turned the abuse and negativity around to saying we are resilient and amazing for what we have been through. Thank you so much, Danish. You have made my day better and brought the sun to me and a smile on my face. Thank you for what you do. 😊❤️❤️❤️❤️

I recently contacted her because my ex's mom had passed on. She was trynna make conversation with me but I told her I was busy and excused myself. My sis is a narc too. Any surprises I attracted a narc later on in life. But thank God these people have been kicked out of my life. Amen

"God was taking care of you, all along the way." Many times these words - in books or spoken - have come my way. And always it feels good to look back and see the help that came my way, strengthened and gave me hope. So the resiliency could develop. And it is a gift now, to see it!

May God be continue to be your guide and protector always. Yet another spot on informational , uplifting and motivating video to get people to recognize the issue. You give hope to so so so many people that healing is possible . Thank you Danish 🌈🌈

Some of my very first memories are screaming ‘mom’ whenever I got scared. And I soon realized my mom didn’t care. She wouldn’t even look at me to see what was happening and I noticed… I remember thinking why do I call her when I’m scared and trying not to say ‘mom’ . I couldn’t, it was involuntarily. I felt ashamed. I was just 4-5. I practiced not to call her. It was hard but I ended up just screaming when I was scared instead of screaming ‘mom’. Now when I think about how I never spoke up and never told her about predators that were abusing me as a child, I can forgive myself. Cuz she probably wouldn’t have cared or would’ve blamed me for it.

Thank you for validating our experiences Danish. We should be grateful to have made it and survived. Having a narcisistic mother is the most painful and challenging experience a human can be faced with.

The sadness comes from what should’ve, could’ve been but wasn’t. Thank you for sharing your experiences Danish; it helps to know we are not alone.

Oh yeah I still hear the voice. I can remember the curse like it was yesterday. You’re ugly, No man will ever want you and you will never have money. It was those three things because she said these things consecutively so I call it her curse. We were in a car, my step dad was driving and me and my brother were in the backseat. It’s been 2 years No Contact for me. I’m 52 years old and yes I wish I had done it sooner. Thanks Danish

A truly healing video to hear, thank you! As a teenager she told me I would eventually realize the old truth that my enemy was me. She was wrong about that. She created layers of complication and challenge that never had to be. How does one take out their bitterness on their own children? You have to be extremely broken.

Ive been a victim for nearly 42 long journey of my life...im blessed thai i survived in this journey...im happy to announce here that for the past one month i passed the test ...i come out stronger no longer d victim of my narcst mother.

We lost !! And that’s that. We need to swallow our pride and cry our hearts out and get over it. To hold their grip they won’t even let us cry. That is defeat for them

Yeah, that makes sense. Wow! I'm not sure how I actually made it out. Oh man, I didn't really realize that she hated me from the moment of conception. She never even had any prenatal appointments. She had gestational diabetes with me, and my eyes showed that damage to the optometrist. I have no idea how many health conditions i will have in the future. Ugh....

my mom held the fact that I depended on her over my head. she knew I had nowhere else to go. she even told me to my face that I have to put up with however she treats me because I have no choice. now Im 27 and people can’t understand why I prefer being an adult over being a kid. as a kid I was completely helpless and powerless. as an adult I can think, do, feel, and say what I please. and yes, I know there are consequences and responsibility that comes with adulthood, but those outcomes of my actions are now up to ME, not up to her. I got my power back.

Thank God for these videos and people/guides helping me & everyone else who've gone through this to heal. Actually HEAL. A start...It's a journey. A very long and brutal one for me, searching for answers. Being stuck, confused af, feeling extremely broken, burdened, worn down. CPTSD etc. The whole NINE. Thank you Danish for these videos. I've watched sooo many vids related to narc abuse & Danish and Jay Reids are my holy grail who can detail what i've experienced word to word. Bar to bar. God bless you Danish

The most helpful book I ever read was about just that. "WILL I EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH?" by Karyl McBride. It held the key to everything. From there, it's been down the rabbit hole non-stop...

My mother's bullying was so severe that I can barely remember the first 12 years of my life. Thanks for describing the pain and affirming it. I don't think I can afford your workshops though. I am properly triggered though.

Spot on! You have incredible insight.

Thanks for telling us that we are strong. Those parental interjects are vicious. Every time I have an interaction with my parents I come to videos like this. What is that telling me?

100% Correct. She used to beat me up when i was few yrs old.

I am weeping listening you here the deep, hidden truth. Thanks very much for your such nice healing speeches.

I suspect my narc spouse's mother is a narc of some type. He often described her as a bully and tyrant. I believe my narc spouse didn't fall too far from her narc tree.

I was born two months early in 1977 and technology wasn't anywhere close to what it is today so I almost died and was a sick child and still have problems and my mom still abused me. When I was a teenager she was talking and she had that evil narc smirk on her face and told me that I was crying when I was a few months old and I was getting on her nerves so she threw me through the air and I hit the bed and bounced off to the floor and she tells me the story with a smile on her face. I got away and went no contact on 2018 and things are a little better but I still have daily struggles. When I left and went no contact she told my sister that I wasn't there to pay her bills anymore I should have just died at birth. Thank you for your videos they are really helpful with my healing journey

Danish, you are brilliant in describing our first bullies - the mothers - terrible and terrifying.

🥺 narcissistic mother is a biggest trauma... She is not a mother devil of my life

Your videos are such a blessing to me. Your kind words are almost too much to bear.. Coming to the realization of my mom being a narcissist is freeing me. My trauma responses have defined me and given me a false identity for too long. I now see maybe I'm not defective. I was going through hell which resulted in severe anxiety and depression. There isn't anything wrong with me....All of those words I hid inside and it ate me from the inside out and made me hate myself. I repeated the cycle with all the men I dated and the one I've married. I'm glad I can see the evil now. It won't hold me captive forever.

I haven't agreed with some of the things you've said in other videos, but this one is spot on. In fact, it is my belief that when a woman does not want her unborn child, stress hormones flood her body.and the baby can feel it.

Yes, I was hugged by our cleaning lady and asked how my day was by our cleaning lady … I was very nervous as a child when I knew our cleaning lady was there that day … a great big hug, lifting me up, a big smile and asking me how my day was, was so alien to me .. it was totally unknown to me otherwise my entire youth And yes the beasts of the forests did find me

this is such an empowering ministry... you are so specific and verbalize this all too common problem.... if you can identify accurately a problem... chances are you can help us move on in a big way. God Bless your work and expand its influence.

I felt like she was my bully. Thank you for helping me and others feel like we've been heard.

I realized this when I am in my 40’s. I didn’t know what was happening with my mother. I thought since she was single mother raising two kids by herself made her like that. She was a bully and tell all relatives bad about you. She lie to me and get lots of money from me. She made me hate my dad and now he is no more. She makes my friends hate me. She made me get away from my high school sweetheart. I still have that hurt. But I forgave her and keep a distance now. Even now she is a bully but I am strong to ignore it.

Great video, Danish! You're right about that inner critical voice being a protector/persecutor we introjected from the abuser. I started using Vanessa Lapointe's kind and firm strategy to start training that voice to become an inner cheerleader. I tell myself "I hear you and know you're trying to help. We don't speak to ourselves that way anymore. We have better strategies now. Let's try (this) instead." and try a new encouraging phrase. I also try to pay attention to any negative scripts in my head, then audit and edit them to be more encouraging. That way if I notice the old negative script running, I can switch to the new healthier one. Thanks so much for all you do!

This is THE MOST IMPORTANT VIDEO so far!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I don't think it made me tough. I think it made me the weirdo. I had 'bully me' printed on my back. I've always felt like a freak.

I did have a narcissist mother. I fought her all my life. I won. She pushen me away since I was 3 months old, because I was a girl and not a boy. I raised myself . Nobody cared ,when I was raped at 15. She laughed about it. She suffered for eight weeks in intensive care. Then she passed away. I was angry at her for years .

My husband is a narcissistic and his mother is one too. She was cold and cruel to him. His view, the world is out to get you., not safe.

Thank you for this video!