1. Reframe Anxiety as Excitement 2. Don't take advice from someone who's life you don't want 3. Don't take criticism from someone who isn't in the arena 4. Relationships are rarely healthier than your self-esteem (be comfortable by yourself) 5. Don't be afraid to be bad (nor cringe) 6. Boundaries are bridges, not walls (have the hard conversations) 7. Respond, don't react (practice emotional regulation) 8. When you are upset, don't text, don't tweet, don't kill yourself (is her mantra during crises) 9. The answer is probably simpler than you think (check if you meet your basic needs) 10. Don't underestimate 15 minutes a day (compound interest of your actions is powerful)

"Gaslight yourself into success" is the solulu to my delulu

Rule 8 reminds me of what one of my friends once said to me, "Emotions pass, actions resonate."

#8 My mantra: 1) Does it need to be said? 2) Does it need to be said now? 3) Does it need to be said by me? I started asking myself these questions during online interactions, but it works in the real world as well.

I really dislike the "Never take advice from someone whose life you don't want". There are plenty of people in my life who are wise, kind, and honest, and give great advice - and usually it's the people who have dealt with a lot of tragedy, bad luck, poverty, loneliness, etc. What's more important to do is to evaluate how someone generally makes you feel day to day, and cross reference that with their personal life experience on the matter. If the person you're dealing with is kind person who has unique insight on the topic, it doesn't matter if their life is difficult or sad - sad people can be wise too. Sometimes, more wise than the happy ones.

#5 I heard a talk about American researchers observing grade school classes in Japan. The told the story of a student attempting to draw a 3D cube on the chalk board and kept failing and kept failing. Then he got it right and the class cheered when he got it correct after several tries. The American researchers were used to the American ethos of rewarding "rightness." The best student is the one get the answer right the first time, quickly and easily. They wrote they imagine the American version of this story that the student is terribly embarrassed and the class feeling the cringe at the embarrassment. They noted that the Japanese students rewarded effort and determination, not "rightness."

When you said 're-frame anxiety as excitement', all I could think of was Jessie from Saved By The Bell belting out 'I'm so Excited! I'm so excited, I'm so scared!' while having a meltdown over her pill addiction. Growing up in the 90s was a wild ride

Anna!!!! Girl you basically raised me, I have been watching you since I was like 14 lol. I am 27 now and graduate from my graduate program this Saturday and I can wholeheartedly say you got me through my teens and early 20's. And inspired me to go to college to study therapy and become a therapist. So thank you! LOVE YOU!

Rule number one hit me the most, cause anxiety has been getting at me for years. I’ll do what I can, thanks for the advice.❤

Rule #9 has been a journey for me. For a long time I had this notion that it was very childlike to have your emotions swayed so heavily by whether or not you missed a meal. "Oh are you grumpy? Did you miss snack time?" And that adults can make compromises in self care in order to attend to their responsibilities and not have a negative impact on their moods. But once I made the connection between my anxiety spikes and my hypoglycemia I've been making sure I have a balanced meal at least twice a day and nuts for a snack whenever needed. When I start to panic I'll eat something, anything and I calm down within the hour. It really is the simple things.

it's so simple yet so satisfying to see the name and picture of the researchers 🙏🏻✨

I gotta say, in today's world using real-life people as examples really proves the thought and effort. I love Anna's positive energy.

The fact there was writing advice in there just makes this even more for me. I always aim to write at least a sentence for my screenplay, progress is progress and that's closer to another episode being done. Also, that anxiety vs excitement is mind blowing, I'll defiantly give it a go!

I love how Anna really thinks about her audience. It’s so apparent with the pace and timing ❤❤ love you Anna!!

Thanks. ^^ I failed an exam yesterday by 1%, so I've been trying to kick myself into a higher gear today. And like, even though I don't watch you regularly, YOU'RE the person I'd take advice from. The miniscule glimpses of your life that you share and that I happen to see had a big impact on me just getting up and doing things.

1:01 Okay I'll not take advice from my teacher..as I don't want a teacher's life.😂 Sometimes, the wisdom of those who've struggled is invaluable.

I just want to say I appreciate you for spending thousands of dollars on therapy and then paying it forward to all of us :)

Thanks Anna, I needed that.

Thank you for your kind words as always, Anna! ❤

Excellent, as always

Im Living My Life Peacefully

this improved my mood

Thank you for posting these videos. I know this stuff is something we should know but it is good to be reminded.

Incredible advice all around. Thank you.

reaaaally love all the advices!

Anna, I like your list. I have "a friend" who needs to read this list and he/she need to take it to heart. None of it applies to me, of course.😁 Things that you might want to consider. (My apologies to the smart people below who have already mentioned the same things.) 1. Consider taking advice only from humble people. Broken people who are humble give great advice. In contrast, if you talk to an arrogant person in your arena, is their advice really worth taking? 2. Consider calling boundaries "draw bridges" instead of bridges. Draw bridges can still be extended as opposed to a wall. However, some situations require a closed bridge, especially when physical and emotional danger are present.

I loved this! Thank you Anna❤

Wow right out the gate with number 1 speaking directly to my tasks for the day, thanks Anna!

These are gold. Thanks

Thanks!

Saving this in my favorites list! I don't put much on there. Thank you for this Anna. All excellent advice.

Thanks Anna for great advice and much needed insight.

you are honestly amazing

Love it Anna as always ❤

All of these are gold

I would listen to your audiobook/podcast very many times

LOVES LOVES YOU ANNA.MOST OF THESE RULES I TOTALY AGREE WITH YOU ON.

So helpful !!!

Thank you Anna.

I bought tickets for Anna's standup in Edinburgh and I'm excitedddddd

Good one Anna! ❤

These rules are gold for anyone looking to enhance their personal and professional life! Especially reframing anxiety as excitement-it transforms challenges into opportunities. 🌟

Hey i dont watch your vids much anymore as im in a better place and have made progress in my own therapy, but i miss your content and think you're awesome and hope you keep helping people like you helped me!!

You gotta love betterhelp continuing the grind despite all the controversies!

Thank you for including the neurodivergent caveat to the difficulty with change. I’m autistic and have difficulty with sudden changes, especially if it’s something I’ve planned and prepared for. I don’t throw a fit or anything like that, but I do feel the disappointment of it very strongly and may need some time to regulate my emotions. Neurodivergent people often get misunderstood as narcissistic or borderline or controlling because we can struggle with things that others don’t, and it can look on the outside like controlling behaviour or manipulation, but it’s usually just coming from a place of feeling anxious and overwhelmed. Communication is always the solution!

love love love this!

Gracias

Rule 10. Don't underestimate the hardship of 15 mins a day. While sustained effort makes for great impact, it takes an enormous effort to make any effort sustained. Developping new habbits is the hardest thing a person can do.

🎉 really good. Thank you ❤

With the 1e she studied people that tried to get excited instead of calming down. And found that reframing to excitement worked better than trying to calm down

Your content rocks 👍🏽👍🏽

the best!

This is perfect.

I’m dying at the intro 😂

I love you!!!!

In regards to #4, I feel like self-esteem improves your relationships. The more confidence and contentment I have, the more I am able to be a good friend and family member to the people around me. When we feel good, the people who love us are delighted.

good stuff

Good stuff

You’re awesome

My favorite was rule #1, but Anna's definitely right about simple things. I had some problems and realized that I hadn't eaten enough. It didn't solve everything, but I felt a little better after I had eaten something.

amen.

Hmmmm good advice

Love the outfit

i love you 😣

3:28 “to be the graceful expert, u must first be the foolish beginner” -wise person (I’m sorry idk Who )

You really do have a beautiful brain, in spite of the fact that I only agree with it half of the time; so, I have decided to follow you once more.

#4 alternate view from therapist Jessica Fern (Anna, you should meet her!) When you say "the first thing you want is be comfortable by yourself." Fern agrees with that for a lot of people. She calls it "having a Secure Attachment with oneself." However! She says at times, we need to practice secure with others before we can offer the gift of Secure Attachment with ourselves. Fern's book PolySecure is the best How-To manual I've come across on Attachment. Even if you're not polyamorous, her version of explanations and lessons and practices is the best I have found. Even monogamous people really should consider it. Fun fact, she just came out with a new book called Poly-Wise. Her ideas on Attachment were meant to be a single chapter in this book. Her editor at the time declared that the whole discussion on Attachment was so important, it needed its own book. So PolySecure doesn't really lean heavily into the subject of polyamory because it was never really intended to.

Beautiful and knowledgeable ❤️

The thumbnail is beautiful Anna❤

Anna Akana is a comedian who made my great female comedians list, but she's more than a talented comedian, she's got great life advice.

5:34 Anna...i feel attacked.

Anna!

Deym number 2 hit home!

Rule Number four is very accurate. Plus, this is something that I knew, now that I look at the ongoing pattern of my past relationships.

Checks: Haven't been on a date since 2015 I guess I am really comfortable with my alone time.

wow this was magic! I was just journaling today on accepting my anxiety, once and for all!!- lol just kidding ;) but yeah, I agree with the shift :)

Good Advice... and I definitely need a little snack. Thanks... do you have one? Or were you just playig with my emotions!? I don't think I can handle this any longer...

1:03 this also works vice versa. if someone comes to YOU for advice or you give advice to someone and they genuinely take it and use it in their lives, relish and enjoy that YOU’RE a person, that someone else thinks, have a way of living life that they want to replicate. and don’t get in your head about it tho lol.

#3 sounds like Theodore Roosevelt speech. “ is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Excellent list, the bulk of which I found instructive. On point #4 however, where I think you might be tripping over yourself slightly, I might suggest you take relationship advice from those in long-term relationships you find interesting in some way. You may also want to avoid giving relationship advice without relating it to your own relationship :) I would suggest that relationships are very often healthier than our self esteme, and are a primary mechanism by which we work through aspects of self. I base this loose view on my own 16 year relationship, and those long-term relationships of close friends. My experience in this area is counter to your own... Which isn't a problem at all, I'm just providing some counter feedback. #7 Respond, don't react, is perhaps the most important item on the list for me, as I can be highly and inappropriately reactive. The importance of my marriage to me provided enough motivation to make headway with that one. I had lacked sufficient motivation previously. The health of my long-term relationship lives or dies on this one. #10 underestimating 15 minutes is probably the item I could make most progress with currently. I need to be learning Spanish at present, and I really need to wrap my head around this one. Love your channel, and more specifically, your pitch is perfect.

Aww ... Bless y'all's heart 🛌 ☕⏳ 🌎 📖 🛐 🌄

I don't know why my brain read the thumbnail as "Topless" for a sec 😐

#3 reminds me of upper management

boundaries 👏 are 👏 bridges! 👏 #1 doesn't work if you have anxiety disorder (and are in an anxious state), but I think this proves the point that you can transform the "bad" anxiety into "good" anxiety emotionally. #2 and 3# are true most of the time, but I see them more as a protection. There's a chance someone has good advice to offer even though they don't understand your situation fully. Or they may be unable to improve their own line in a specific way because of some other factor. You could come to a new conclusion that's inspired by their advice, instead of taking it at face value. I don't agree to shelter yourself from it completely, but yeah if in doubt, trash it. (personally for me this goes regardless whether they're kind or rude, but rude behaviour is a good indicator that they probably don't have your best interest in mind)

#5 is literally my favorite quote from Adventure Time: "Dude, sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something." -Jake the dog

Annna🥰❤️

Thank Anna I can live with all this😅

i love you

#4 is the wisdom of the gods. #10 is so helpful to me as a writer

Rule 1: Absolutely Perfect for someone like me who has an "Unspecified Anxiety Disorder" as a prominent member on my long list of disorders. I'll be doing that in the coming days before I come to your show in Raleigh to alleviate the pressure some of my family have been putting on me to bring the equivalent of a bodyguard with me. Rule 5: Being afraid of being bad has actually stopped me from accepting a fair number of job offers in fields that almost anyone with or without a degree could take on. I've always been afraid of any sort of customer service aspect of any job before I started working at Home Depot (although the customer service aspect is quite minimal for freight shifts, but it's there, and it worked out well in the times I did have to talk to customers after all) I'm also going to use this rule going forward into my future voiceover aspirations. Rule 9: Ironically, due to my night job, I sit in the dark every day in order to keep my sleeping patterns consistent, and it's at a point I'm looking for a new regular side job that happens during daylight hours again. And this is just how I take these particular rules. I'll make a point of working out how the rest resonate with me, because pretty much everything I have ever watched on your channel has resonated with me in some helpful way or other.

I have heard the rule 10. "Don't underestimate 15 minutes a day" a bajillion times before but for some reason it clicked only just now. I mean. 1 novel a year? 1 screenplay a year? You are telling me that if I spend 30 minutes a day I can write a novel AND a screenplay in a single year? I most definitely have an hour to use towards my multiple interests! You know what? I'm gonna try it for a couple years and see how it works out.

1:03 I was really surprised when the paragraph started, 'We live in the age of advice, right? Whether it's like hacks online or our friends offering up personal anecdotes... ' that the punchline wasn't, 'or me!'

Hey Anna, I have a question for you. Among these 10 rules, which would be the most crucial for you? I don't know if you'll respond to this, but it would be nice. All of them are good rules.

I'd suggest a caveat to rule 2: If the person sees no problems with living their life that you wouldn't want to live yourself, then their advice is, at best, coming from a place of having very different priorities than your own, and therefore probably isn't of much value to your own. If the person is self-aware that they're in a bad place and their advice is oriented towards not ending up in the same position they are, though, it probably is worth at least considering.

I love this but I grew up bf the internet. I was a teen bf it was in my home.

I couldn't make it through all 10..."not in the arena" ....

Rule#16. Love thyself, until your cup overgrowth. Love your inner flora, to exude the outer aura.

Hi there

-“THE FIRST RULE..”.😹😹😹-

Queen Akana has issued a royal decree 🎉 huzzah