Most men on this thread are genuine in trying to fix themselves and their marriage. It’s so nice. Faith in men resorted. It’s actually possible. I have lost hope that my husband would try any of this. I’m the only one rowing while he’s shut down in every possible way. And he says that staying composed and silent takes courage. No. I don’t buy it. What takes courage is what you’re all trying to do. Hope all of you get your wives and families back. You deserve it.

Me and my wife is separated for almost two months now and she moved out, we've been married for 8 years now and have a 3y old baby girl and 5y old little boy, at the beginning she said that she wants a divorce, I fought desperately to get her back with everything I have and decided to be the kind of man that she wants me to be, two weeks ago she have decided to give us another chance and we had the time of our lives together, then suddenly she have changed her mind again and told me that we are moving to fast and she needs some space and time to think, today she told me she doesn't feel the same anymore and wants to continue with the divorce, I'm so heartbroken. I still think there's hope with God's help and I'm willing to do anything to win her back. Thanks for this video, I'm definitely going to follow this steps and maby a miracle will happen.

We were separated 5 years after she could not live with my mental abuse, screaming and depression. We stayed in contact. During that time, I improved myself. I remained patient with her. I went over to visit with her permission. If I noticed something that I could help with, I offered. I replaced light bulbs, washed dishes, and changed out furnace filter. We walked. Never did I seek sex. Trust me, sometimes leaving her, I cried all the way home, even after years gone by. But then I simply sent a "Thank you" text and wished her good evening. Eventually, the topic of divorce came up. I was resolute and said I would not consider divorce. I asked her if she would consider joining me in that resolution. She agreed! I continued my program of recovery. I changed and never sought to critique her. First we met at recovery meetings. Eventually, we went together as she regained trust and saw I was really changing, whether she be with me or not. Eventually, she moved back home.

My wife just left me and I’m devastated. She is one who wants space in confrontation and I’m always one who wants to fix right away. I told her that through the separation, unless it’s an emergency, that I promise I won’t contact her and will give her the space she needs. It’s only been 2 days and not reaching her is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do

The best way to overcome pain is to let go of the things that you cant change.keep your eyes on God open up your hearts to him. he heals and he fills that void in your heart.the lord jesus christ wants to give you his true pure love thats the real love you need. i promise you when you allow him to enter your heart you will be complete healed. you will never feel the need of anything to try to fill your heart. he is the most important puzzle to your life.pray to him. start building a relationship with your creator. open up to him from your heart no empty words.

This is the most true and correct video I've ever seen on relationships

26yrs together,the last 7 months has ripped me,shredded my heart more than anything ever in my life I love my wife,more than any person in the world I never thought this would happen to us Thank you for your advice Everything you said "she says" is exactly what she says to me I think the rest of your advice is accurate if that is.. So I'm going to try this.. Truth is I'm a good man that makes mistakes,I wasn't born a husband or a dad.. I had to grow up and try to do the best I could.. only I feel like I failed I hope this works She's my best friend,I love her dearly

this video should be at the top of the list with the mpst views. thnkyou jacob i have been following your site and the messages in this video for 10 weeks. while i still have a long way to go before my wife can see herself being bck with me i have followed your guidance in MMR and MSS and i have made rhe biggeat changes in my 37 years of life and my wife has acknowledged and admired the changes which was unexected for me to hear within a couple of weeks now its just up to me to be consistent over time. thankyou so much

I like this video, my wife said the same thing "I'm not happy (her) because your not happy!" she said the guy I married (17 years ago) just isn't there any more...I had become complacent, moody, grumpy and rude and not giving a poop about them (wife and daughter) spent more time on the computer playing games then time with my wife and daughter, we stopped going out, dinner dates, date night, weekends away, sunday drives and all that stuff (looking back now...I wasted so much time doing NOTHING and just being a grumpy asshole) I use to go out camping, 4wding, hunting (never really killed any thing just wasted a lot of ammo!) going out with mates (boys night out), it all stopped when our daughter was born, my wife suffered with a few medical conditions after the birth and major depression kicked in....so what i like doing got put on hold...then just stopped.....that got me shitty and it all started going down hill from there, ALSO 1 other thing I DIDN'T take into consideration was that 2 people can do/see/experience the same thing and both get totally different experiences and emotions from the same thing, so just because she didn't see and get what i did from said experience, I would tell her she's being silly or stupid...It was ME that was being silly and stupid as I was only seeing my side not hers...in 14 years very rarely did we see eye to eye on anything....I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN ASS.

My wife and I have been separated for four months and it's destroying me. We have kids together and i want to make it work, but i think she doesn't anymore. And im starting to lose all hope and faith in us. One minute shes willing to try, the next shes all confused. She says it's not another man, but i honestly don't believe her.

I am going through the first few weeks of a separation and this advice has helped me immensely. The nauseating sickness feel in the pit of my stomach and the fear of the future have been unbearable. I now have some sensible direction and no matter what the final outcome is, I intend to get back my self esteem back. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Actually the best video I have seen on this topic

Clean up my side of the street. This video is really all there is to it. Regardless of outcome i need to bring the best man, husband and father i can to the table each day.

Thank you for this video. I will do my absolute hardest just to be with my wife again. 🙏

It's hard to do what you're saying but I will try. I'm so broken right now.

This is real great advice

By far one of the best videos I have watched concerning this matter. Two major keys 🔑 were “I’m a regular guy just like you” and he didn’t try to sell some “fool proof plan” to get your wife back.

Thank you so much for this. This is what I have seen but the debt you went in with such a short video made a big impact on my thinking.

Wish i found this video months ago, my wife left almost a year ago now & there been times when i thought she wants to come back but has told me some of things they say in video but she wont give me the time or energy still

Thank you so much for this video. If she's going to leave me, she's going to be leaving the "best" me.

My wife said she needed at least 6 months of separation from the marriage and at the end she still wanted a divorce and always talking about moving forward with the divorce. Everytime she speaks on it it just makes my stomach turns. Just the thought of her not being with me puts me in a bad place. I’m tryna get my life together without her but some how she always end up in my mind. I know I have to let her go one day cause I’m not the violent type of person. I just can’t see myself without her.

i really appreciate this video thanks i will do it. i have discovered that this separation has given me an opportunity to be a better man for my wife and i will win her back.

My wife moved out 20 months ago it took me 13 to 14 months to figure out how to fix myself to be a better person. I believe it’s too late she’s filing for divorce. The paperwork is in....again I wish I could’ve fix myself much quicker but I had to do and take the time to fix myself ....I just pray that someday she’ll forgive me ...I wish she can see that it takes time ... and not just a quick course correct but a course correction permanently

Thank you so much

I got my spouse back 😍 😍😍 😍

What to do when we both live in different states

This guy is prolific. I hope I can make it happen

This is the best video for this out here luck guys

im going through a separation right now.. this video is such a help. it has inspired me to become a better and more complete man. no matter the outcome i hold this video and the book an amazing blessing thank you

I want so bad to get my wife to come back. I feel so helpless. Im heartbroken over this shit. 17 years ive done this.

Wow, exactly my situation

my relationship to a tee thanks for the advise, going to put it to work and pray for the best, I love her so much

I’m currently re building my marriage with my lovely wife and I’m using the law of attraction and Jesus to work everything out. Basically what I’m doing is giving her space listening to her needs and not smothering her like I used to oh and most importantly thinking positive and visualizing what I want and feeling grateful and thanking god for what I have now. So try this and trust me you’re going to be happy because I used to be miserable but not no more thanks to what I’m doing!

I'm willing to take anyone's advise if you ever read this. My wife of 11 years and I split up this morning. She cheated because I stopped giving her love. The sad part is we have 3 toddlers that are my life and I want to win her back. Ill do anything to.

Iv spent a lot of time watching various videos on KZfaq about relationships and separations. This one speaks to me the most.

She has said 3 out of the 4 things word for word, and has been skeptical, and angry. I'm currently in step 3 and she's been coming around. Keep it up this really helps.

It’s been 5 months of pain

Thank you so much man...keep on uploading such video..really like ur video. Anybody reading my comment I pray for all of us to have a peaceful marriage life ☺

Great advise. Going to start using your steps today

What happens if by doing this when she left she thinks oh he's great now that we are separated why would i want to go back into if its so great like this?

Excellent excellent video and strategy. I have already began implementing the steps and I know that it is going to take time. Thank you so much.

How do you play the line of giving her space or re-courting her?

I’m about to leave hopefully temporarily as my wife has asked for space and time, has filed, but is keeping her options open after 22 years. I am trying to find some positive answers as I prepare to leave

I’m m going to try this thanks I’ll be getting that copy tonight

Damn my wife has said all of those things. Plus this explanation is the best and it's hard but it can be done.

Pray for me! My wife of 9 years moved out and we're now separated. We still talk and text a little and as much as she allows but she seems to be done with our marriage. This has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I'm to blame. Gonna try these steps.

God bless you! This is exactly what I'm going through. Been married for 14 years now and I had addiction issues. We decided that we'd try and separate for 6 months so that I could get off these meds and regain my marriage again. Well that was in April and it's now October 15th. She needs more time so I signed 6 more months here at my apartment. I've begged and pleaded with her (after sobriety) but she is just done. I know that begging/pleading is the wrong step now so I've made a stand to not communicate unless it has to do with our son. She was very thankful for that. I just don't know what else to do but focus on going to the gym or walking/running to get my mind off things. Thanks so much for the video. It is so correct and I'm thankful for it!

1st thing is to pray Trust God And Wait Yes I agree with these 3 plus one ideas I am putting them into practice My wife has moved out Asking and filing for divorce. God has a plan.

I have been separated for 4 weeks now and I have watched 100’s of videos to try and fix things. This one hit home the hardest. It is everything I needed to hear. I will follow these steps and rescue our marriage! Thank you for this great video.

gotta try man thanks

My wife left over 2 weeks ago and I haven’t heard from her at all. Her dad called and said she wants a divorce and I can’t see the kids right now. ???

But what if she started seeing someone a month later when we were living together. I made alot of mistakes but i love her. 13 year relationship and separated 5 months. Is there still hope for me to have her back?

What happens if the husband has left the wife for good and determined to give divorce to his wife. Not communicating in any form. Thanks

I'll say a prayer for all of you, including myself, that your wife come back to you. I am following these steps and she see's how the changes make her life better because we are still living under the same roof, in separate bedrooms. I understand many of you may already live in different places from your wife so it may be harder for you to show her, but just try to figure out what you weren't doing before; what she felt was lacking in you, and show her that it's not lacking anymore. For me, one big thing was domestic duties. She got tired of me sitting on my a** while she cleaned the house. Since I still live in the same house I can show her the changes I've made in that area. But, what this video says is true. I have been doing this for 3 months and my wife still calls it "your on your best behavior". She doesn't trust that it is a true change, only an act to win her back. She has said everything in this video and felt everything this video says. She told me that she was angry when she saw me cleaning the house, and asked why I couldn't have started doing this years ago. I don't know how long it will take for my wife to realize these are sincere changes in the man I am. All I can do is continue to show her and pray that she has an ultimate change of heart and comes back to me. I hope this helps some of you.

God bless you brother for what you are doing. I really needed this video. Thank you.

Will this 3+1 step help your wife to come back if she wanted separation due to not instigating sex very often where she acts like she always instigates it first🤷 then wants to claim I didn't show her any affection much.

I’m going to get her back I will!!!!!

How do I show my wife the changes if she moved to her parents and she wont respond to emails or phone calls

I've been going through this seperation for 6 months now. We still haven't divorced but I have not given up. Even though she might have or atleat says she has. I have changed my ways but the rebuild trust has not. I have alot of work to do but I'm not giving up

This has to be by far the best advise I’ve seen so far on getting my wife back. I have watched and read SO many other things on this topic. This is the most concise and understandable I’ve seen. Fingers crossed it works!

Ok so my wife has moved out and is living with her new man. But we still have lunch and can talk whenever i ask for a lunch date, she has even commented about leaving later on in time and moving back home to her native country. So if we can still talk/have lunch etc there is still hope dont you think. If there wasnt why would she even want to be around me and discuss things with me? I am curious on your opinion. Thank you

4days now finally stopped Trying to chase her

This is extremely helpful 😁😁😁🤝

My wife & I have been separated for 7 months now but we live in the same house ... she said she wants to be single & move out ... she felt like she missed out cause we been together since we were 10 , what do I do & we have a 4 yr old

What do you do without sexual intimacy,or release while doing this? Doing all these things but being alone in a cold bed

I gave it my all ... 25 years of faithful marriage, struggled to pay 4 years of college for my daughter, had a series of 3 heart surgeries and lost my career due to illness ... just to find out this week that my wife has decided to move out with my 21 year old daughter and start a new life without me ... I sit alone, empty, lost ... I never knew a human could suffer as much loss as I have in one lifetime and still draw breath

This is honest. You can try all you want, but if she wants out it’s over. If you wanted out, wouldn’t you leave, if your hearts not in it, and your wife changes to keep you, 9/10 you ll leave regardless.

She wants out completely. Shes already moved on. Seeing someone else, go out on dates and completely confining in him about our relationship. We still live together and I'm thinking of moving out, but she feels im being selfish if I do so. Any suggestions or ideas?

I’m going through a separation my wife of nine years. The last five minutes of this video is literally spot on with my circumstance. The entire video is pretty spot on too like every bit of this will help. Period I hurt her pretty bad and she’s definitely going around talking to other guys which crushes me but I did it to her so I can’t really blame her. The only advantage that I do have is she still lives with me and is probably going to be unless something happens for the next two years so I have a great opportunity to be around her to show her that I can physically and mentally change. By going to the gym working out with a friend are used to do bodybuilding so it doesn’t take me long I know exactly what to do your outward appearance helps out a lot because not only does it boost your morale and your confidence especially around her but it also makes her take notice I’ve packed on some pretty good pounds in the last few years so her seeing me pretty buffed up thin and looking good walking around my shirt off she’s gonna notice. That takes care of the mental aspect and morale aspect number two she’s always complained about how I don’t spend enough time with her and our son because I work long hours and when I get home I kind of wanna do my own thing and lay around. Since she lives with me this is a great opportunity to put aside the stupid things that I like to do with my free time and focus more on my wonderful son doing things with him. And spending more time with her even the little things count they get noticed to. Things like when you get home from work help her cook in the kitchen clean up afterwards, help keep the house clean it’s not just her responsibility it’s yours to help do laundry. Little things like this and also helping out in other ways they take notice you absolutely have to be on your a game for as long as it takes. I am terrible with cooking but with her going to school two days out of the week for the next two years I have a wonderful opportunity to be able to learn how to cook because she works nine hours a day then hast to go to school for her degree and if I cook for her that’s a big thing because she sees me learning and doing new things that I never did. The key to it in my mind even though she says the relationship is completely over with doing things like this she’s going to take notice she’s going to see a huge change and it might take some time to regain trust and other emotions. Instead of chasing these F boys around all the time she’s going to get tired of it and she’s going to eventually notice what she has at home. The key is to not fail not even one time because if you do it was all for nothing maybe you’ll be able to start over if you’re lucky. Meaning if she takes the time and asks you to do something you need to take the time and get up and do it it’s a simple as getting her a glass of ice water if she wants it or knowing when she wants it and having it ready. From the small things to the big things you have to be on your a game and do not fail. And if it takes eight months to a year or longer you Gotta do it it all just depends on how bad you want her back. It’s really hard for somebody to just completely turn the light switch off and not have any feelings for you. I have three key things that I listen for and try to see if she’s going to say it. These three things are I need my space, I need time, and I don’t know right now. There is also a fourth one which is I don’t know what I want right now. I watch for these things it gives me hope in the drive to do everything I said above because the sooner you can start doing it the better if you need to go to counseling do it try to do couples counseling don’t force her to go but it will show that you are willing to take that step to fix yourself don’t talk about it be about it. Occasionally maybe not even once a week ask if she would like to go out to dinner as a family if you have kids or maybe even one oh one or maybe go see a movie. Case in point my fiancé wants to go see a specific movie and I’m going to offer to go with her. The big thing for me is I don’t want to stick myself in the friend zone. She says I’ve always been her best friend and that she loves me which is great but at the same time you don’t wanna get yourself stuck in the friend zone because you know how women are and you’ll never get out of it. It’s been seven days since me and my fiancé have split up it’s going to be a long hard road for me because what I did was pretty bad and it hurt her. But I am fully confident even though she’s like stop trying, that if I do this because she’s not going to expect it I feel like it would actually work. In her mind I’m going to keep begging her to come back which I have done for the past few days now that stage is over, now it is time to start the very long hard process and once she starts seeing it she will think as usual it’s not going to last very long couple of weeks maybe a month but I got a stick with it I got a stay strong if she’s on the phone talking to another guy in the other room and I can hear it even if it’s in a sexual manner I can’t allow it to hurt me or to stop me. A lot of people think I’m foolish for all of this and she just let her go I was never taught to give up or to quit I was taught if you want something you got to get it and you got to work for it there is nothing in this world that is ever just hand it to you! And I pray to God that this works. My prayers go out to everyone that has to stumble across this video and for anyone that might possibly be reading this long message my heart goes out to you and I feel what you’re going through. Strength comes from within and regardless if you believe in God or not he is there and he can fix anything you have to let him in to do it and you have to fully let him in. My heart goes out to everybody stay strong mentally and physically

Wow it’s like the guy read my mind but makes sense. I agree separation is a horrible feeling.

She left to her parents and her mom forcing her to leave me forever i dont know what to do i begged her that i will change but she wont listen, she took my daughter too, i cant sleep in my room cause all i see is her face making fun of me please help?

HAS ANYONE ANY IDEA WHAT THE WIFE IS THINKING WHILE SEPARATION IS GOING ON?

God says for what is not built upon my word will self destruct.

Ok thank you information and hoping that my wife will not leave me.....

Fuck brother for not being a professional in this field you sure gave me a hell of a lot more insight and information then some of these so-called professionals ever have.

Hello everyone 👋

What do you do if your wife has blocked all communication from you?

Great video and it is spot on... thanks

I have been spiraling our of control for sure. we have three babies and it is so hard seeing her.she has actually been telling me to get my self better and healthy. I have noticed that when I am having a good day and active and motivated she actually acts totally different towards me and like she used to but that lasts a day. this video has helped so much. every word is exactly on key point and has slapped me straight in the face. thank you so much.

I'm on 5 weeks and I'm a mess

I agree with most of these points. But a husbands job is to love his wife and take of her to the best of his ability. If your wife is unhappy, there’s nothing you can do to make her happy. IF, she’s unhappy because of herself and nothing you’ve done

Thank you Sir this helped a great deal, really appreciate your videos.

I wish I would’ve seen this video few years back.. 🥲

He never met my wife

Ive done the fist step but she thinks that im not interested in the relationship anymore because i focus on what i can control 😔

Thank you so much Steven for you information, it's provided me with the strength to carry on fighting for my wife and I, marriage.

I really just want to talk to someone about what’s going on

100% agree

What will I do sir. If we are far from each other I'm here in Saudi and my wife is in philippines

Unfortunately I'm in the very 1st steps of separation with my wife of 11yrs and i have to say that this is the truest think I've heard so far it's actually freaky how on point it is thanks for the quick lesson i will follow this religiously

Is that usefull for my wife? She left me because of other man.

I just have to say WOW!! This was spot on with what I’m going through. I am glad I’ve found this video. Will definitely take these steps to see my best outcome 🙏🏾🙏🏾. Thanks once again. Just downloaded the pdf

Minute 7:41, I have heard that... Disappointing 😔

TRYING TO HELP THOSE PEOPEL WHITOUT A VIDEO IN THIS WORLD;) STAY SAFE

What if you've lost trust in her with her actions. And she has demonstrated that she will seldom take responsibility to make things work, expecting the "Man" do go out of the way for her time and again

My marriage is almost at the end my wife that I weeded eight months ago she saidshe doesn't want the marriage again and we are not staying together she in Europe andam in Africa I need advice

I freaked out for the first week I really hope once I apply this now it will work.

I need help. My wife emotionally left me. And does not trust me at all.

My girlfriend’s husband keeps using these tactics on her 😑

Hello I want to know if this will fit my situation she left took the kids but we still talk a good amount we still friendly still hug still kiss and we even set aside Sunday as a family day when she comes over Saturday night ( we end up having sex most of the time ) then we go to church do family stuff and have dinner Sunday night express she goes with her mom she has even offered to help me co-sign on a apartment if I ask her will she come live with me she will say maybe and we will see once it’s time to get the place some days she wants to hang out some days he seems non interested anytime I ask her about us it’s never a no it’s a not right now or maybe but I’ve stopped asking her those things she doesn’t shoot down anything I’ve asked she always asking me if I’m ok if I need anything or any money she even signed us up for this marriage class at church Im kinda confused some days she seems like she doesn’t want anything to do with me and others it’s like she never left I’m just not sure if I should go the separation route since it seems we have pretty good communication most days of the week ( been together 10 years married half of that 4 kids with a high likelihood she could be pregnant now ) the 1st time we had sex after the split she asked after do I think we should use condoms I told her I don’t feel the need and I, not fucking anyone else she said ok but then I decided to buy some for the next time she would be over she came over I had them I offered to use and she said no hopefully this all makes sense I’m rambling at this. Point