Shan your openness and transparency has been SO HELPFUL in making my decision to have kids. The whole story about how it's all rainbows and roses is such a one sided story and unhelpful to making a good decision.

My uncomfortable thing to admit is right after I had my baby and was super stressed I asked myself, “did I make a mistake?”

For me, I think the hardest thing about being around kids is that they have absolutely no social intelligence. So, they’ll insult you and then giggle about it when you just sit there silently processing. And THEN, you have to teach them why what they said was mean, and in the process you’re dissecting all your issues that they pointed out 🫠

My uncomfortable truth is that I know motherhood will change me, it will change my life, and will change my priorities. I love who I am today and who I am becoming, but I am willing for all of that to change to accept a child into my life. I might feel some regret when I become a mother, so I'm doing my best to enjoy who I am today so that when I look back on my single, child-free time, I can say I enjoyed it to the fullest.

That baby look just like Jared!

Not related, but I love the way Shan slips in sponsorships so effortlessly in every video without fail 😂. Love you Girl and thank you for sharing your experiences.

I know this is a small detail but thank you for saying “parents or people who hang out with kids”. I relate to so much mom content bc I spend a lot of time with kids & I often feel excluded by mommy content lol

My uncomfortable truth is I'm a mama of four girls 17 to 6 and I'm still waiting to get that feeling when I wake up that I'm a grown-up I'm their mom instead of feeling like when is their mom coming to pick them up 😂💙

Shan this is honestly why I've come to admire you so much over the years. You say what most people aren't willing to say & I have even felt triggered by what you've shared at times, yet it only makes me become more real and honest with myself ❤❤ I definitely believe that motherhood is a time for community so I know someone will find comfort in this xx

Great Video! I raised 4 children, I was a young mom. I love it more than anything I have ever done! AND.. everything you said is 💯 Parenting is also the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Now they are all flying from the nest, driving cars, moving to different states, getting married.. etc. and it is a whole new level of hard. It’s letting go and trusting and finding myself again as the new version of me. Thank you for all your honesty, it’s helped me so much accept many aspects of my life, past and present.

SO MANY uncomfortable truths, where do I start 😂 pregnancy is the pits. My 3rd was the hardest cos I had my other two kids to still care for. Also, as much as I love my kids, they push my buttons like no one else. Just when you think you can control your emotions, you get into a shouting match with your 6 year old because they’re not listening to you. It’s such a rollercoaster!

My uncomfortable truth about parenting is that I truly dislike sharing my food 😂😂😂😂 especially when they are eating the same thing I am. Now I see how my husband feels 😅

Watching this video while nursing my 1 month old. The first one is SO TRUE. I’m on maternity leave, exhausted, and losing my mind. We are stuck in the house, in the cold, our circle of support is small because I don’t want him to get sick.

That baby look just like your husband lol

YES. The air pod saved me when my son was colicky for 6 months! It was my saving grace to sanity.

Thank you so much for this me and my husband are currently expecting out 2nd bby (2 under 2) I found out I was pregnant when I was 8 months postpartum. And I’m sooooo scared! And not too excited about my pregnancy this time around. This video means alot to me. I absolutely love the transparency

Wow Xya looks just like her daddy

Yesssss to all of these!! I find them all relatable and so true, especially the first and last. I would sometimes feel like I was going mad with boredom and then my kids would blink in a new way and I was like OMG my heart is exploding with love. 😆😆

I’m not a parent yet but your videos assure me that it is possible!

For me the most uncomfortable truth is that for the rest of my life I will be coping with the fear of my children getting hurt. Right now it’s mostly scraped elbows and knees, but as they grow up they’ll experience all kinds of hurt emotionally or physically that I will not be able to protect them from 100% and that thought keeps me up at night and probably will forever 😅

As someone who wants to be a mom one day in the near-ish future, videos like this are invaluable insight imo. Thanks for putting this kind of content out!

Parenthood can be grueling as hell ! But it's so beautiful as well. I look at my kids and I'm like wow. I made them. I'm a mom. They're so sweet and beautiful.

I've avoided small children for so long that I am now afraid to be alone with them. Fortunately, my partner is willing to give me a chance with his daughter. I've met her once and so far so good. Here's to giving it a shot. AND thank you once again Shan for being so open. I've been watching Steph Anya LMFT as well and her style is quite helpful as well. But back to Shan, I recommend the Game of Desire every chance I get it helped me immensely to get to this point, and here you are again shedding some light on the very topic that's baffling me currently. AND thank you soooo much for including the language of people who have children in their life.

Okay, This second child is the twin of Jared. Ryu looks more like Shan & Zy was not whining in the beginning she was cooing and talking and wanting to have a conversation😌

Thank you so much! I’ve been on the fence for so so long and decided to be child free a few months ago. I still obsess over pros and cons and I find the conversation so fascinating. I find the whole “don’t ask women about kids” troupe to be the exact opposite of what we need to do. Which is TALKKK to one another about what it’s really like.

That AirPod hack is everything. My 20 month old probably thinks that it’s a part of my body at this point. 1:49

Sometimes I can't wait for bedtime! I a 15month old daughter and she's a little handful lol. Plus I work full-time. I'd never change being her mommy but the quiet me and hubby get at night is priceless 🤷🏾‍♀️😅🥰🥰

After having my first, i realised that my kids could never love me like i love them because yeah i love my mum but I’m OBSESSED with my kids. I guess that’s how it should be… love goes forward.

My uncomfortable truth is my daughter resents the fact that I was overprotective and that she missed out on a lot of experiences because of MY fear. Even our psychologist told me that teaching my daughter to pick herself up after getting hurt is more important than protecting her because one day I won't be here anymore. If she doesn't learn the skills to be resilient, she will hate me even more everytime she gets hurt. We can't control what happens to us. Can't protect our kids from everything. It's just our job to teach them how to survive through the toughest of times and get back up.

After years of being subscribed to Shan (since I was in high school) n now being a new mom I think Shan has been my hormone monstress 😂😭❤️ love u

I laughed out loud at the “she liked it”😂. And as I have said before. I love the way you approach topics. Your opinions may or may not be (conventionally) unpopular but I never feel negative while hearing you explain. It seems logical, understandable and even eye opening without dissing popular or common opinions. Idk if it makes any sense. Just that I feel seen and understood even when listening to you talk about the exact opposite of what I believe in or follow. Love your energy. Love your style and love your kindness.

I've been saying this so frequently under your videos but I love the transparency 🖤 always.

i’m an aunt and i love. Only. being an aunt. i get to be the best aunt in the world and that’s enough for me. i’m open to my mind being changed maybe i’ll meet someone one day that’ll make me feel different but until that happens. if that happens. i’m good. but i love your transparency on these topics.

I love how real you are. Thank you for being brave enough to discuss taboo subjects

Imagine your mom being Shan? How amazing is that? Thank you for the work you do. You make me want to be a mom in the most Imperfect way.

#UncomfortableTruth Being a GREAT MOM is easier said than done. It is a TRUE labor of love.

Love you Shan! You a real one!!!! Your girls are lucky to have a real and authentic mama to look up to!

I love that you are always honest with us

My uncomfortable truth is: I’m not more happy with kids. My life before kids was just as good. Now I have to prioritize differently, but life is still good, this is just a new chapter. I miss horseback riding, driving Mc, alone time with my fiancée. This isn’t a priority anymore - but I know time goes by very fast, and the things I miss will return to my life when the kids are bigger. My girls are 1,5yo and baby girl is soon 4weeks. Babies are a blessing for sure, but it’s not just pink clouds and sunshine, and that’s ok 💕

Can I love this video 10 times?! Gosh, that is the truth. Since being a mother I found one of my truths are “I love my daughter so much but I’m soooo exhausted and burnt out. As soon a she wakes up from a nap it feels like she pulls all my life and e very out on to her. I went through a coffee espresso faze just to keep up. 😅

Shan I think you are a great mom

Thank you for making videos that are open and real about your experience with parenting! I'm exploring whether my future includes being a parent and it's truly SO difficult to get any useful content for my life decision making!

Love the editing of this video and thank you SO much for sharing this!!!

Thank you for this 🙏🏾🌸

All facts!!! I'm guilty of the pinch and I feel horrible anytime I do it 🙈😪

I love the candor you have and it helps me wrap my head around eventually having kids

Violence is not the answer but it sure feels like it sometimes

As an aunt I can say when they’ve totally went bananas you have to meet them where they’re at and succumb to their way or the highway. There’s no meeting in the middle once they’re in baby Jack Jack mode. You’ve gotta throw your white flag. Negotiation is out the window. But I love them. And when I’m way from them too long, I miss them exhausting me 😂😂

Soooooooooo great and honest. Hugeeeeee thank you.

I have a personal love hate relationship with bed time. I hate the process of getting my 15month old to just lay down and go to sleep. But I love the hour of quiet time I get before I go to sleep. 😊

My uncomfortable truth is that I didn’t feel that instant connection with my baby until around the one year mark. I wanted to so bad but it just wasn’t there. I loved him of course but it wasn’t what I expected.

I hope that you and your family had a great Christmas 🎄

I love this newer evolved version of you that you share with us 💖✨🌸 Thank you for continuing to bless us with your content. 🌟 Every video is undoubtedly loved and appreciated 🎁 Take care

I just appreciate you so much

THANK YOU FOR THIS

Im the same with the ear pods . Sometimes I disassociate😢 But at least I recognize it now and try to teach my baby and have conversations here and there

Thank you for sharing your truth. I can't relate to alot of what you have experienced but I know it's your experience. My thing is sometimes I'm touched out and just don't want my children or husband to touch me anymore. Something I did when my first was 1yo that might help other parents that have some of the same experiences as the video is I took a positive parenting plan (triple p) course. It explains alot and help you learn a different way of communicating with your children. It's helped alot and I try to rewatch it every year.

Love this and can 1000% relate

Amazing thank you!!!❤❤❤❤❤

Awwwwwww this was so beautiful!!!

So true! EVERYTHING!!!

Awwww your newborn baby girl Xya look so adorable....all I can say about babies & toddlers just enjoy every adorable moment because once they become preteen & teenagers you gonna miss when they just like too cry and be hold ...lol 😂 😆

#SameBihSame From one parent to another, thank you for your transparency ❤️

OMGGG YES! The emotional roller coaster that parenting is… is freaking hard at times! Haha

Loved it! super relatable..I have a few recommendations, first for hair loss I used natural aloe vera, I peeled the plant and blended the inside, pass it through a strainer and the liquid you get after can be added to your shampoo, conditioner, gel etc, and second, I recommend you listen to bold new mom with Jody Moore, she is great, and I'm sure you'll relate and get her coaching, her tools are the best! 💗

This is so REAL 👏🏽 my son is 10 months and I’m hanging on by a thread 😵‍💫

Haha I love this. Sometimes if my daughter is really annoying me I frantically tickle her to get my anger out in a ✨kind fun way ✨ 😂😂

Thank you for sharing baby Xya! #same 😅 young mother of four here but wouldn't trade it for anything. Keep being the amazing mother you are Shan! ❤ My uncomfortable truth: people slowly stop inviting you places because you become this family pack 😅 As if my husband can't watch them for an hour or two once every other month 😅

Watching this swinging my almost 4 months old around because he’s having a moment 😏.

I'm in a different stage of life. My adult daughter has been married for 4 years, and they have been struggling with infertility, as did I. So, I'm divorced, empty nesting, and may become a grandmother by the time I'm 50. C was born prematurely 6 weeks after a serious MVA, and while I was still 7 weeks early. I was left with a TBI and debilitating injuries. She had a stroke in utero. Unable to remember that I was married, pregnant, or had, had a baby, it was a challenging time. My ex was abusive. He took a new pastorate; this placed us in a new church, community, and state just before C was born. She had a lot of health and feeding issues, apnea, and her monitors weighed more than she did. She was to be fed for 45 minutes every 2 hours, and she had to be upright for 45 minutes. A cycle that took 1.5 hours to complete and had to be repeated every 2 hours left us terribly exhausted. We went through a lot!!! Was it hard? 🤔 YES! Was it worth it? 100 percent!!!!! I feel like I reacted to the gift of a surprise puppy/ESA and "parenting" in much the same way as described here by Shan. I feel like I had a special needs baby dropped off at my home without any supplies. I have struggled with some resentment. Finding out that I wasn't told anything true about her made everything worse. I was going through a lot at that time. But even in situations like this, little is all good or all bad. I am trying but always feel as if I'm not good enough. I feel like a terrible dog mom. The thing is, I struggle with that feeling as a parent to my daughter as well. I will look into attachment styles. C is an amazing young woman! This is through no credit to me. She did it and is doing it on her own and with her husband. No one is perfect. You will make mistakes. You will learn and grow with your child(ren). If things get to be too much, reach out to a hotline, your OB, your PCP, call 911, or go to an ER. Never shake, pinch, bite, or spank your baby. Baby blues is normal. Postpartum depression isn't uncommon, but you should be evaluated and treated by a professional. It isn't shameful to struggle with one's mental health after having a baby. It doesn't make you a terrible person or mother. If you're worrying that you're a terrible mom/parent, then ironically, you probably aren't. 🫂 💜

As a 1st time mom of a breastfeeding 8 month old, thank you.

Shoutout to Audible! I was using them until my local library offered Hoopla to the residents. I suggest everyone inquire about it. It’s literally the same thing concept in an app but it’s free thru your local library

i’m still watching but can i just say your transition to speaking about audible in the beginning was sooo smooth LOL whatever they are paying you, tell them to up it !

Something I didn’t expect out of parenthood- I have a preteen and I’m more afraid of his judgment than most other people, I feel more vulnerable with him when it comes to not wanting him to diss the things I care about than other friends and family. Only since he’s been old enough to have an informed opinion though.

Everything you're saying is the truth 💯

I'm so happy I love hanging out with my son. Yes his kids shows do get boring but I love playing with him probably because I didn't have a playmate as a kid so I love experiencing the activities and games through his eyes. I want him to look back and have memories of us playing together, something my parents didn't do with me.

I thought that bay was a doll until it started crying lol.

I feel you on that incognito iPod trick!

Xya looks just like Jared lol. Straight face and all

Shan, THANK YOU for this video. I paused at the truth about wanting to pinch them and laughed for a good minute. #samebih for all these.

Glad other people think that babies are boring, I thought I was just a bad mom for thinking that. Generally, my son is a diamond and a blessing. I can't see my life without him.

Relatability and cuteness on 1000

Immediately #1, as a nanny, YESSSSS 😂

*slaps my leg at pinching admit* 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I am you... YOU ARE MEEEE!!! Especially with the airpod (earbud for me) it SAVES MY SANITY

It’s funny because as much as you’ve shared about your “struggles” with parenting, I’ve always thought to myself “Yeahhhhh but she’s probably phenomenal at it.” Thanks for being an honest gyal. Lol

I cackled at “I don’t care”

THANK YOU FOR YOUR RARE HONESTY.

I don't have kids, but I helped raise my niece and nephews and #samebih My niece and nephews are pretty much older teens to adults and it's all still true.

Baby was done when you said we have nothing in common. Like, excuse me 🤨 I though we were a vibe. I feel betrayed🥲 and here I am being cute for you video🙄😒😮‍💨 sis same no shame everything you said was the absolute truth a mom of 5 and my #uncomfortabletruth is my anxiety cause me to shut down communication and music is my saving grace.

Love you

#UncomfortableTruth If you have multiple kids, you definitely have a favorite.

#samebihhhhhhhh❤😂 Happy New Years y’all prosperity, happiness and health in 2023!!!!!

Yes the air pod!,,, 🙌🏼 and wanting to pinch haha my baby son is 4 months and I love him deeply but he did wanna go back to sleep and screamed and cried for too long

My teenager and tween have brought out a level of petty in me recently that I thought I'd abandoned years ago 😭

Shan spit out a little Jared clone ❤😂

My uncomfortable truth is sometimes I don't want to put my kids first and I want to be selfish.

The uncomfortable thing for me about Parenthood is that i have to remind myself they aren't trying to upset me and keeping calm and not yelling.

You’re doing great Shan lol seriously. Also a lot of this is highly relatable.

Omg somebody looks like their daddy! Too cute!💗