My (kinda) Sad Truth About Sex After Two Kids

Рет қаралды 146,583

Жыл бұрын

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In this video I talk about my sex life after having my second baby and what I am doing to bring it back to life including: sacred sex practices, working on having foot fetish worthy feet, listening to errotic content, slowing down during sex, working against social conditioning that excludes me from the sexual script, and keeping a secret from my husband.
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Listen to my podcast: Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

Пікірлер: 431

@ipsilonia Жыл бұрын

i LOVE how shan uses herself as a case study.

@grapesyrop Жыл бұрын

frrr

@andrea384 Жыл бұрын

no legit!!

@intellectualsmoke Жыл бұрын

She always does that

@n.o.9506 Жыл бұрын

Yeess!!! And I appreciate her for that.

@ggll5240 Жыл бұрын

Same, I love the questioning that leads to self awareness

@Usernameblankslate Жыл бұрын

I never thought I would see the day when you are embarrassed by a sex joke. I get it though, no one wants to feel like they are the butt of a joke. I’m glad you are so open about your feelings and you are able to reflect on them.

@geonah05 Жыл бұрын

I'm asexual and don't plan on having children but I always value your dialogue on sexuality and just being more in tune with ourselves. Thank you for sharing!

@Usernameblankslate Жыл бұрын

I feel like there needs to more talk about asexuals. I would love to be able to understand how sex is viewed thru that lens.

@LibertyMadison Жыл бұрын

I’m asexual too and I enjoy her content. It helps me understand how others experience the world. Glad to see I’m not the only asexual here 👋

@geonah05 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the kindness yall! Yeah I'm definitely a very sex-positive ace person who finds sexuality a fascinating subject within itself, and thus learn alot when hearing from others. I don't desire to engage in sexual behavior but sexuality is obviously so much more than the physical stuff, which is what draws me to these discussions. I know there are a lot of sex-repulsed ace people who'd rather not have anything to do with sex but that doesn't mean they're against anyone having it lol. I can only speak for myself but asexuality is a very diverse spectrum too!

@andreatummons4 Жыл бұрын

Asexual here too! Love seeing our sexuality mentioned, even if its just in the comments section!

@LibertyMadison Жыл бұрын

@@andreatummons4 agreed. I don’t think I’ve seen us in the comments before. Kinda cool

@megansmith5993 Жыл бұрын

THANK YOU for being so vulnerable and honest. Sexuality can increase after pregnancy but that is not how society views the situation. As women we are shamed for keeping our sex drive, but also chastised for losing our sex life - so our husbands won't "get bored." It is an impossible double standard. So at some point I realized I'll never make everyone happy so I chose to prioritize making MYSELF happy. My husband and I took steps to help me feel comfortable in my body again and we explored our sexual roles, entering into the BDSM community. This only happened AFTER we had our child. Sex has never been better, but we are led to believe our life is over after kids and we can never be sexy/sexual again. UNTRUE!

@leonorpereira548 Жыл бұрын

all of us who have been following you for a while say this all the time, but once more... it's been a blessing to see you transition through so many different life stages in such an incredibly vulnerable way. thank you for sharing, I love these conversations and am excited to see the new ideas that you want to dive into xxx

@annaw8318 Жыл бұрын

💯❤

@andrea384 Жыл бұрын

yesss xoxo

@jonellsequiraxo Жыл бұрын

Agreed!

@blameitonablackstar Жыл бұрын

Put a ridiculous amount of lotion, coconut oil, shea butter or whatever like extra extra and then throw socks over it right before bed. This is what my Asian great aunts always taught me to do on hands and feet when dry and it works for me. Thank you for your honesty and bravery for sharing different sides of your sexual experience. It makes me feel good to know that everyone goes through ups and downs in their sexual journey. Thank you so much Shan.

@anajahramirez8561 Жыл бұрын

as a mom sometimes that doesnt make it on the bucket list

@PrincessOfTheYew Жыл бұрын

My therapist said the most amazing thing: Sprit is just another word for consciousness. So, “spiritual” sexiness is just another way of saying more conscious sexiness. And, nothing says more conscious than taking your time. Seriously, Shan, this is so beautiful and so exciting. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. I’ve never had kids, but I’ve definitely felt like a spectator. And while I consider myself spiritual, I haven’t taken the spiritual sexiness leap. This was very inspiring!

@annafiruzeh4430 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for mentioning this feeling when you experience imposter syndrome in the bedroom. Inspite of not having babies I am there too. Feel unsexy and clumsy, so preoccupied that I'm wrong person, that I can't engage and, embarrassingly, even dare to kiss or hug a person. Thankfully you kindly shared a book name and gave worthy pieces of advice.

@soleravioli Жыл бұрын

I really love how open Shan is about where she is in her life and in her relationships. It makes me as a viewer feel validated, related to, and normal in some of my personal experiences that are similar to that of hers. Most recently in my life (but for some time now), I have not felt very sexual and it’s been a mental insecurity/challenge as I am in a relationship with someone who enjoys sex and feels horny often. It’s been several months now that i’ve felt this way; consistently on birth control, then temporarily off, then back on because I realized it wasn’t the birth control, it was just me. I don’t know how long this is going to last but hearing Shan, a sexual Educator/ empowerer/successful/conventionally attractive/partnered person feel the same way as me makes me feel suuuper heard and seen.

@shanboody Жыл бұрын

Sole thank you for sharing your journey! I hope the person who needs it reads it oxo

@mshannon06 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for talking about this. I’ve had 2 kids the oldest is almost 5 and still struggle with getting into the sec mindset … for me, all of a sudden nothing in my body was sexual, it was to grow and feed, etc. the babies so my thoughts went to and sometimes still go to “sex is only for making babies”

@lmpreston1 Жыл бұрын

They key is getting a regular babysitter and taking time to reconnect. Fatigue is a serious play on self image. Also, allow yourself time to love the womanly you.

@AoifeCRyan Жыл бұрын

I really appreciate your bravery for talking about this and it is such a relief to see what I’m struggling with reflected in someone who I deeply admire and look up to as a sexual being. Thanks for sharing your tips on how you’re going through this season of your life as a sexual being.

@Natalie8o8 Жыл бұрын

You’re so aware. It’s wild how intricate your mind works. I love it.

@purpl3gemini Жыл бұрын

Before having my baby I experienced from spectatoring. While I have yet to be intimate with my partner post baby I completely have no desire and I'm almost repulsed. I appreciate Shan giving these tips and advice. One thing I've always appreciated about Shan is that she's willing to put herself out there.

@MISSMADISONMEDIA Жыл бұрын

This channel is so useful. I feel like I’ve really grown up with you! Please never stop sharing

@monetknight1424 Жыл бұрын

Seriously 🥹🫶🏽

@AstilynnC Жыл бұрын

After becoming a mom, my view on my sexual self has changed! I enjoyed being pregnant because I was wettt all the time. Now, it’s just eh. Luckily he’s begun to up his technique, but I now feel less attractive. I am at my pre baby weight and I’m more slender but I hate my lil belly. Honestly everybody says that I look better NOW but I don’t feel sexy. Listening to erotica is definitely a good tip! I feel like I don’t yearn for sex like I used to. I need to make a playlist because his choice of music for the mood is not a vibe 😅 I try not to be vocal about my insecurities but he knows when something is wrong with me when I become shy. Getting back into dance and moving my body outside of the bed and my baby is my goal! I love and deeply appreciate your transparency 💛

@erinniccoinn1gh Жыл бұрын

i can relate - what helped me come around to loving the post-baby body is that my little belly is a sign that i've gone through the whole process (getting pregnant, giving birth, recovering) and came out successfully. if you think about human history, that's quite powerful. sadly so many people who've given birth never made it to the post-partum phase. the modern sexual economy (and the plastic surgery industry) lies to us about this, telling us we have to look young all the time, but it is simple biology to be attracted to a successful, fertile woman, and the little pooch we get after a baby is a sign of that success and fertility. it's one thing to be an attractive young virginal type... but to recover so well that you have people telling you you look better now as a mother? that's possibly the sexiest thing there is. :) much love

@openranks4519 Жыл бұрын

Stop making excuses

@openranks4519 Жыл бұрын

@@erinniccoinn1gh No accountability. get in the gym🙄🤦‍♂️

@ZARA-to9fp Жыл бұрын

@@openranks4519 if you watch the kids, no problem. But men are lazy and do not want to watch the kids.

@priskruger314 Жыл бұрын

A little belly is sexy tbh. Shapely natural body. A hanging pouch like mine rofl needs to be attacked with all possible force (I hope to learn how to swim). So assess if you want to do something and consider that maybe there is no need in your case because it might not be all that bad. Don't beat yourself up for small things. Pun intended. Lol #Erin

@emiv5342 Жыл бұрын

Thank you! I’m not a mom, but I am your age and often find myself falling into a low confidence/frumpy mindset that’s hard to get out of. This was relatable.

@xmurbef Жыл бұрын

Even though I don’t relate to your exact situation because I’m not a mother, I can definitely relate to the concept of spectatoring. As a plus size woman who didn’t start dating until her mid twenties, I have NEVER seen myself as sexy and even now, I rarely do. This information was SO helpful and gave me ideas to try. Thank you Shan!

@ladyy-bug Жыл бұрын

You're amazing just the way you are 🥰

@nailsxashleighv2266 Жыл бұрын

I love this so much!!!!!! Omg the part about the noises after having a baby… that has bothered me and I felt like I was totally alone in that.. ugh. So nice to know I’m not the only one who has experienced imposter syndrome post baby💜 stellar video per usual👏🏼

@DebtFreeMillennials Жыл бұрын

SHAN. Your video made me so emotional because as you were talking about your situation, it was as if you were talking about me. I have a 1.5 year old and motherhood has changed so much of the intimate dynamics about myself. It’s been a struggle. I feel seen and not alone. ❤

@MaySmithereen Жыл бұрын

I have been a follower for years now - I cannot stress enough how much I appreciate your content, and your honesty regarding sex/ sexual health/ mental health. Keep it up Shan! I'm your ride or die follower!

@FINEGANG Жыл бұрын

Literally I’m like WOOOOW!!! This is EXACTLY how I feel after two kids but could not explain it not even make sense of it to myself as eloquently as you have. Thank you!! ❤

@irisotero6561 Жыл бұрын

❤ Shan is always a vibe & makes me think deeper about myself and, sexuality. Thank you 🙏🏾🧿

@zoehuwi4586 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Shannon for always sharing your experience and knowledge with us! ❤

@ashleyvega8470 Жыл бұрын

You’ve shared such amazing tips for even those of us that aren’t moms but may have insecurities from time to time Thank you for always sharing so openly!

@nadia562010 Жыл бұрын

I had my 3rd and final baby almost 3 years ago and my libido has been almost non existent. I'm pretty sure a lot of it stems from the way my body looks from pregnancy and also getting older(just hit 35 this year). I definitely needed this episode because I was seriously thinking about looking into sex drive medication or supplements...

@faiza515 Жыл бұрын

I turned 35 in August. Girl we're still young

@nadia562010 Жыл бұрын

@@faiza515 I know but I'm on birth control because I do not want anymore children. It's messing with my hormones. Being young ain't got nothing to do with it for me.

@soulseek1563 Жыл бұрын

Lost my libido almost completely 5 years after my last child. I feel like I can’t blame childbirth. I’ve tried so many things and nothing helps. Doc says my hormones are within normal limits. Ugh I’m sad

@nadia562010 Жыл бұрын

@@soulseek1563 I'm sorry sis...sounds all to familiar. I've thought about supplements... currently doing research

@okaygworl Жыл бұрын

I’m so grateful for this Shan! You’re going to bless so many women on your new journey ❤

@manuelawuschek2608 Жыл бұрын

Your authenticity and ability to always stay true to yourself is inspiring. Thank you 💜

@joybanks Жыл бұрын

Another amazing video. The words you said about slowing down felt like a direct message to me today. Even though it's not sex related, I have a daily morning meeting at work. I'm always so nervous and feel embarrassed about it. As a result, I speak so fast and no one can understand me, which I feel like makes everyone think I'm not competent. I end up feeling like an outsider. Tomorrow, I'll make sure to slow down.

@BobHogvall Жыл бұрын

I'm really excited to come along on this journey. Thank you for always being so open and sharing

@cuterthaneva101 Жыл бұрын

Your content is so specific, and I love that because I cannot find anyone else talking about this topic in the same way. Thank you Shan. I’m fighting to find myself attractive, I recently found that little spark in myself again. I am fighting to keep feeling sexy

@juliahall4359 Жыл бұрын

This was so insightful. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us so that we can feel less alone as we navigate through changes. I really value what you have to say and appreciate your authenticity and rawness always!

@lexusgibz2745 Жыл бұрын

Always appreciate the vulnerability and education Shan. Thank you.

@hallmark4 Жыл бұрын

Shan, you could 1) use a good salt scrub (specifically salt not sugar). Just give your feet some extra time and attention as you rub it in on the heels and rough patches of skin. It works to exfoliate your whole body but can help very much with footcare, 2) using oil soap can help soften skin, and 3) raw shea butter can help keep the skin soft. Hopefully that can help with hand and footcare and all of these can be applied pretty much everywhere in case it’s easier if you don’t have to do something special for hand and foot care. Fortunately hand and footcare doesn’t have to be super complicated especially if you’re not one to enjoy all the extras. If you do that (you could also use Vaseline or Aquaphor) and put socks on for a few hours to let it absorb the skin on your feet will likely become softer over time.

@TheDiamondladyone Жыл бұрын

Also, Walmart sells this heel stick that sloughs dry skin. If you venture to a pedi, don’t use the cheese grater, your skin will thicken more. I used the pumice stone, wax, and exfoliating. This helped my feet tremendously. But for home what @hallmark4 said.

@madisonbaxter9906 Жыл бұрын

Put A LOT of aquaphor on your feet and then put socks on for several or hours or if you can, sleep in them overnight. This works like a gem for me!

@mirandanicolas2411 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for being so transparent...I appreciated this video a lot!

@jomahanovo3091 Жыл бұрын

You will get through this! As a mother of two I too experienced this and my only advise is to accept the now you and whoever else you become in this path of motherhood. You got this!

@rachelpinto. Жыл бұрын

SHAN!!!! this is so transparent of you, thanks for sharing! can't wait to hear what you've learned in the process

@yaeljones2346 Жыл бұрын

shan you’re literally the coolest 😭!!

@ramosmalavej1 Жыл бұрын

Been following you for so long Shan and it is so beautiful to see you come into motherhood and balance it. I think as women that sexual part of ourselves is not talked about enough once you become a mother and how deeply it is affected. I will say this having had 4 babies, I felt I got "my groove back" once I stopped breastfeeding and my body "belonged" to me again. I no longer had that mental block. Thanks for the open dialogue as always.

@JessicaAkAAdiz Жыл бұрын

I'm in love with the way you talk/the way you articulate things. ❤️

@ShotaySyth Жыл бұрын

Yes to all of the things! Adding music so you don’t get grossed out by squishy noises…baby monitor so you can feel reassured that the babies are ok 👌. I’ve been following you for years and I’m sorry your struggling but so happy you’ve joined us moms and our sexual struggles..it’s so difficult to be attracted to your partner but not feel sexy during the act. We love you Shan!

@ivetmunoz7326 Жыл бұрын

This was beyond what I needed to hear. I have been listening to you for yours. The expansion of what I have learned from you on sex and knowing and recognizing your own body has been the most influential in my life. I can’t say thank you enough for posting this video. I really needed to hear this. I hope that from this I can continue on learning more about spectoring. I love your honesty, I love your embodiment, I vulnerability, but most of all I love your truth!!!! Thank u 🙏🏼

@_trash.kitten Жыл бұрын

I just had my second and I needed this so so so so sooooooo fkn bad. I listen to your podcast and also watch all of your KZfaq content. But this video got me in all the right ways. I love you girl! ♥️

@freedamnsweetcree7235 Жыл бұрын

I hope that helps a bit. I love you shan and I'm excited for where this next chapter will lead you!! 😊🤗 **hugs**

@EdwardSanchezProductions Жыл бұрын

Shan I love how honest you are about stuff like this

@jamilaellis1328 Жыл бұрын

This makes so much sense, know I see why I stopped feeling like I'm sexually attractive, but now I'm going to work on it, thanks for this treasure 💯

@no-ss8nj Жыл бұрын

I know you don't have time to edit all your videos but I love your editing style, genuinely very funny and personable

@croberts2293 Жыл бұрын

Really appreciate the transparency in this video…these conversations we need to have more off…motherhood really changes things down there

@AishaandLife Жыл бұрын

I enjoyed this so much. I just had my third baby and we’re still figuring out what it means for our sex life. You described so many thoughts I have about being intimate with my husband. Thank you for being so open with us Shan ❤🙏🏾

@alexuswilcox1793 Жыл бұрын

This video was very satisfying to watch. I think it’s because you’re analyzing your personal experiences from the perspective of a more actualized version of yourself than what we got in older videos. It felt less like homework and more like you enjoyed filming this. Receiving education from you, via the lens of your personal experiences, as well as the guests on your podcast and not just the typical academic method of delivery, is where the height of my excitement as a viewer exists. I think you’re doing a great job at fusing knowledge and relatability into your content more seamlessly.

@nadatodo Жыл бұрын

Beautiful that you’re exploring more of your self in this new chapter of life. Often when we are society’s norm and there’s ease, we don’t have to go deeper but as spirits in human form, our experiences outside social constraints allow us to unearth so much more. To break walls, boundaries, invisible and visible ones. To realize our true freedom and anything that limits it wasn’t real in the first place. Bon courage in this exploration xo

@its_nozie1439 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for being open Shan

@MultiDaisy1995 Жыл бұрын

Sorry for leaving three comments consecutively. 😅 I really like the vulnerability & openness that you displayed in your recent videos! It’s relatable & beautiful. ❤

@julissadc6303 Жыл бұрын

Funny that I started following you because of a hair routine you uploaded years ago, thinking i was going to get more of that, and now am super engaged on these kinds of talks

@tatyjimenezr Жыл бұрын

Every word you said!! Thanks!! I needed this!

@Jen-fz8uq Жыл бұрын

shan thanks for sharing this, i appreciate your honesty and these are great tips honestly

@lynnlague2935 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this. So relatable please do more of thisssss

@lanac8318 Жыл бұрын

Ahahahaha Omgggg the cut to you washing the bottle and bouncing up and down with the baby was so good! Great visualization, it IS hard to imagine being a sexy mama when you’re being a REAL mama all day

@ooostarb3rryooo Жыл бұрын

As someone who's pregnant right now I love your journey. Been with this channel for years now. Seeing your evolution and transparency in these videos is such a beautiful experience to witness. Plus, I don't feel alone and I'm anyways learning something new. I believe you'll get your sexy back, well not back but it'll be evolved. ❤️ Much love. 🌹

@andrea384 Жыл бұрын

love you shan! your proactive and empowered approach to like always reminds and inspires me to check in and create solutions etc that will bring about the changes I desire xoxo

@aimeee6775 Жыл бұрын

I love your transparency . It’s so refreshing in the world we live in. Ive been watching for 6 7 years i love game of desire. Our children are the same age. Im trying to get through the same situation

@rhknow8888 Жыл бұрын

You are on your journey and going to find your way to where you feel comfortable and fully okay. Thank you for sharing! Cheering you on.

@toysvoice Жыл бұрын

Great video. I'm 9 months pregnant and connected with sooo much of what you shared. Thank you!

@Ddances222 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this❤. I like how this chapter of your life seems to want to challenge or change your perspective on spirituality. I hope you gain a lot within this journey✨

@CookieFridays Жыл бұрын

This was actually really refreshing to hear from someone like you who I perceive in a certain light, because I felt like I could relate to the feelings you were sharing even though we’re so so different. I just lost my virginity last year and honestly I have barely enjoyed sex, it’s been uncomfortable most of the time, or very awkward. I feel like I can practically live without sex at this point but I’m not asexual. Anyway, while I navigate these feelings, you sharing your experience is actually very helpful, so thank you for being brave to do so!

@islabee94 Жыл бұрын

I'm coming from a good place here..have you considered it my be the partner/partners you're having sex with?

@kcloud1186 Жыл бұрын

This is exactly how I feel too!!

@rebeccay-borotto2090 Жыл бұрын

It's insane that your knowledge is so accessible, and you're helping so many people including myself, I just gave birth to my second child and I'm absolutely getting more in tune with my body. Thank you for being you and sharing true authentic life experiences. ✨✨✨

@gigilina1782 Жыл бұрын

i am just obsessed with your ability to communicate so effectively

@adennega556 Жыл бұрын

I love this woman's transparency and wisdom on her craft lolll its inspiring

@anunez3450 Жыл бұрын

Looking forward to your next vid, as an SA survivor your video's has help me understand myself more and for that i thank you.

@ivysrainbow6735 Жыл бұрын

Omg Shan!! As a mom, single mom like I don’t recognize myself because I have no time for my normal self care routine, I overstand ☹️ I haven’t gotten a pedicure or even tried to lotion my feet or paint my toes like I used to think it was so consequential if I missed a step in my routine now it’s the bare minimum and I relate on the foot thing lol I thought I was the only one.

@noemijoan6119 Жыл бұрын

You're definitely not alone ❤️❤️❤️ the sound thing on the sheets is just awful for myself. It's really such a turn off and still I don't take the 2 minutes to at least creme them 😬😬😬

@annap9222 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so so much for this video!! I’m not a momma yet nor do I intend to be for a while since I’m only 22 but you gave some very insightful tips of how to feel yourself when you’re not really feeling yourself. I was raised super hardcore Catholic so pleasure outside of marriage was a big no no but I have just now recently taken the initiative to explore my own body (because I don’t need no man) and I’ve found it really hard to not feel guilty or shame around the idea. Totally different than the mom guilt but still relatable. Did I download audible right after this video and check out your suggestions? Of course I did and I was not disappointed.

@camillion23 Жыл бұрын

Why did I relate so much to the dry heels😅

@faithmcdonald936 Жыл бұрын

Damn. I love you Shan. Thank you for being real. You always make me feel more human and your so helpful.

@nadiacenteno-alvarado2413 Жыл бұрын

I usually don't comment but I wanted to thank you for sharing. Your "fix your ick" and POV analysis helped me so much!

@go5043 Жыл бұрын

This video made me tear up and has breathed new life into me. I’m also on a journey is rediscovering my sexual self and I feel so seen by that quote from love is political. Thank you so much for your vulnerability 💖

@JC-wk5cb Жыл бұрын

I'm going to add the mentioned book to my book list. I have completely turned into a spectator. I became wheelchair bound 5 years ago and now there's a shame I feel surrounding my wanting sex/intimacy. Prior to my condition, I felt desirable. Now I cant fanthom someone wanting me in my state. I have negative ruminating thoughts and havent sought out intimacy at all in the last few years.

@renaysweetness Жыл бұрын

Love this Shan!

@mrs.tesfaye6855 Жыл бұрын

7 months postpartum and literally was feeling this way so glad I stumbled upon this video

@MultiDaisy1995 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for mentioning the postpartum sex sounds, juiciness, queefs, etc… I have noticed this too. It throws me off SO BAD!

@GaylynLareese Жыл бұрын

You are spot on about the hand and feet thing! Try the Raw Sugar brand whipped body scrub and do it EVERY time you shower. Girl! The baby soft heels. And then always put an oil on after lotioning when you get out of the shower. I’m a dancer and I just became used to my feet being crusty until I noticed it effected how I felt in intimate situations. The embarrassment when they go to do foot stuff and you are unprepared….yikes 😅😬. Hope you start to feel yourself again soon as you embrace this new phase you are in. Thanks for sharing!

@nataliearonson5669 Жыл бұрын

you are brilliant and so thoughtful!

@elle_aye112 Жыл бұрын

I had a very sexual dream last night that was about connection, and how that has been possible in my waking life due to care and affection and respect between parties monogamous or otherwise. A bad experience with someone altered that within me but re-realizing that is still something that is possible has helped comfort that part in my brain, and hopefully within my body. I also was sitting in the bath recently and thinking about how I lost that sexual connection with myself and separating my body from the equation for the first time in my life. This video was really enlightening. Thank you and best wishes!

@marii2150 Жыл бұрын

I'm really grateful for your content. :)

@bougiebeerbxtch Жыл бұрын

I needed this. Thank you 🙏🏽

@lm4936 Жыл бұрын

I’ll add to the Vaseline fix with what an aesthetician told me: first wipe heels with OXI pads (which contain 2% salicylic acid), then apply Vaseline or Vicks Vapor Rub, wear socks to bed, and in the morning, heels will be baby soft. I mean they always come back if you don’t keep it up every other night or so, but it’s also good in a pinch if you want nice heels in sandals the next day. I find I get this problem in the cooler weather when wearing socks much of the time - probably something to do with the friction of socks on skin. So great to see many other solutions here as well. Also, I can so relate to the spectatoring explanation, especially now that I’m getting older and both body and facial skin is not as taut as it once was. My ex was much much younger than me so it became a huge issue for me and I’m sure the effect on my confidence leaked through; so, I agree with you that it is something best worked on yourself and not discussed with your partner until you can find some peace with any insecurities. Thanks so much for your candidness.

@GodLoesUgly Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for making this video, being so open and honest 💖 As a first-time momma, 11 weeks postpartum… I feel so unsexy and weird around my sexuality now. I couldn’t really find the words to explain it or why. It has nothing to do with my partner, it’s all in my own mind. This video has really helped me to understand these feelings better… and hopefully find a path through it.

@estelademariaandemeowonoan8027 Жыл бұрын

Hey, Shan. Thanks a lot for this video. Although I'm a childless person, I enjoyed, learned, and engaged with most of the things you shared. Thanks x100. ALSO, I have horrible dry feet at times, my advice would be to use pure vaseline straight after showering, it helps the moisture from ''evaporating'' quickly. Keeping a vaseline bottle in the bathroom near the body cream or so has helped me to remind myself to use it. Another advice: use 80-100% pure cotton socks overnight after a good foot moisturization, it makes most of the dead skin fall. You will be surprised :)

@luraayzit Жыл бұрын

You are SO good at talking

@audriiiiroberts3030 Жыл бұрын

goshhh, I appreciate you so much 💗 like so so much

@ree946 Жыл бұрын

"Save this feeling for later and reflect on that" love this💓💓

@Miko-qd1qv Жыл бұрын

omg where do get your jewelry from? so beautiful ✨ love the vid too, as always

@SJ-qq6xu Жыл бұрын

Thank you 😢Shan . I thought I was the only one

@Tamar-sz8ox Жыл бұрын

Just subscribed and wishing you the best “ woo woo “ 😂

@wahine02 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this. I just had my first baby 9 months ago and my sex drive has completely disappeared and my self confidence. you have just put into words what I could not. Now to work through it ❤

@jenfripps7025 Жыл бұрын

I believe you should share what you are feeling with your partner because it might help with your journey. I went through the same thing but after my hysterectomy 5 years ago. I would have sex with my husband because I wanted to please him but I wasn't fully into it and he knew. He told me that we didn't need to do anything until I was ready because of the surgery he understood that my body was going through a change that was beyond my control and he was satisfied with just holding me at night. Just like you, I didn't want to put any doubt in his mind but he was truly understanding, now we have the best sex life ever.

@daniellesings5890 Жыл бұрын

Love the honesty

@LindaTinahTV Жыл бұрын

It's nice to hear these open conversations. It's true that how we feel about ourselves inpacts our sexual life.

@carly_mintyfresh6542 Жыл бұрын

You have no idea how amazing it has been to spend time with you this morning 🥰. Everybody has different things. But I have had a top-notch experience with a SFW and NSFW audio content creator on here (and Patreon), AudioGasm 😊. Also, maybe not helpful, but I had the thought of wearing socks, until the heel thing is more resolved 🤷‍♀️🙂. Sending you love 🤗💜.

@KristinaSandnes Жыл бұрын

This has been so true for me too! I’m always in mom-mode, talking and playing with a toddler, being pregnant, thinking about babies, preparing for the life of a mom of two. So getting in the mood is extremely hard. 😅