Theoretically, the idea that the mermaids don't eat fish themselves is flawed, especially given that the sharks try to eat mermaids. That would imply some sort of food chain. My theory is that the fish we see in the movie are simply some sort of upper class of fish. The lucky fish, who were accepted into high society for their amusement to mermaids. I think there must be a slum somewhere just outside atlantica where all the mermaids just go chomp whichever poor fish family they'd like. And THAT is where Ariel sends Eric to fish. The sea above Atlantica is protected but fish all you want of those guys. Fuck those guys! They can't even play the conch in the undersea orchestra!

If you think Disney's version is terrifying just look at what they changed from the original: Her tongue is cut out, when she walks/dances it feels like knives are stabbing her feet, the prince tells her she is his second choice for a bride if he does not find the one who he thinks saved his life (what a dick), she almost stabs him through the heart in order to become a mermaid again because he does not love her and therefore she will die, but she loves him too much to do so and dies instead (merpeople can live for hundreds of years, she is only a teen), the seawitch cuts off all of the sisters hair in exchange for the dagger (she is defo a total sadist), merpeople don't have souls but she can gain one after hundreds of years if children are good - if they are bad then another day will be added to her time. But it is a beautiful story of love and sacrifice! Disney's has Triton's love and sacrifice at least :D and of course some great songs! Toei animation's version is very faithful to the original if anyone is interested in another beautifully animated version of this story :)

The kitchen scene must've been like being in a SAW movie for Sebastian.

It's not weird that he has so many daughters... fish lay eggs

When I was a kid I thought Sebastian was French...

I lost it at 'damp'.

Posiedon should have stepped in to discipline his kid; Triton got waaay out of control.

I think the most terrifying part of the movie itself without even having to look that hard into it is just showing the French chef cooking the fish. Like, we don't know for certain what Ariel will or won't do about eating fish or convincing Eric not to, but just the idea that Disney was fine with children hearing a funny ditty about ripping the bones out of creatures you've established to have souls, desires, and lives is bizarre.

It's always weird when some animals are intelligent and some aren't. I was watching Dora with my niece and all of the characters have pets. Even the talking animals have pets that can't talk. That's like slavery or something. Also why can Goofy talk and where clothes but Pluto has to sleep in a dog house and where a leash?

Wait, music is illegal but if it's his daughters singing about how great he is it's ok?

did anyone notice that the king is overprotective of Ariel and she can only talk sense to him... and she looks very much like her dead mother?

7:50 I think in the sane way hyenas we're outlawed in lion king, sharks might have been outlawed in the little mermaid

Read the original non-disney one...now THAT is terrifying😂😂

I always assumed the concert was Ariel's equivalent of a debutante coming out into society.

I was shocked to turn on auto captions, and find that... You speak clearly enough that YT gets almost everything right, more than enough to be clearly understood. Holy shit, Daniel "The Maniel".

On top of all that, I'm going to assume that Eric inherits his kingdom (he does, in the 3rd movie). That kingdom is going to be ruled by a pair of teenagers, one of which is brand spanking new to the entire concept of the human world. That's a terrifying life to live for that country.

I can't hear the name Sebastian and not think of Black Butler...

(4:33) _"..falls in love with literally the first human she sees up close."_ It's funny that nobody seems to wanna point out that *_Tangled_* has a similar problem :p

King Triton first born girl is the royal heir, notice her crown.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT ARIEL EATS!?!? Ive thought about this. If she eats fish, she is eating her subjects and friends, if not, then she is jepordising what is most likely the main source of income for her new kingdom. (if the queen doesnt eat fish neither do you. youre all vegetarian now got it?) If she eats seaweed then why was she putting her food in her hair? and why do none of the merpeople seem to eat any of it? Or have seaweed farms or something? there cant be enough seaweed in that one part of the Ocean between France and Germany or wherever the fuck Ariel is to feed an entire population of merfolk. So do the merpeople eat Humans? like in traditional folklore wherein sirens use theur songs to lure sailors into the sea and to their deaths and then eat them? If thats the case then Eric is screwed. but I dont think it is. SO WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE EAT!? ALSO! HER BRA IS LITERALLY MADE OF SHELLS! And we know the clams and shellfish are alive because they sing and dance and shit. So... is she wearing the Corpses of dead fish? Is that a warning to other fish not to fuck with the royal family? Maybe I can answer my own question here, Maybe, just maybe, The Law system in Atlantica is not much different than our own; maybe if a fish kills another fish, the sentance is death! And thus, I must conclude that Ariel eats Criminal fish that by the laws of nature did nothing wrong, so she eats her subjects. (Unless they have pizza underwater or something... but any human food would be soggy so I dont think so.)

Daniel you are so fucking awesome. "NEVER PAST DANIEL!"

to be fair to Triton, it is mentioned that land people mass kidnap and kill/eat his subjects (fish). So for him, walking in on Ariel's collection of human things would be the emotional equivalent of you finding your kid's ISIS memorabilia.

Here's something fun - it was supposed to be included in the entrance song but it made the intro too long, but Ursula is actually Triton's sister who was banished from the palace and consequently the kingdom for being a witch and wanting to wrest power away from Triton

"it looks damp." "ur in the ocean... wtf are you talking about?" lmao

So when Triton gave her legs, he had to manufacture her genitals and reproductive system too, considering she was fish from waist down, so yeah ... that's a bit creepy. Unless he only gave her the legs, meaning the someone will be extremely disappointed on wedding night.

Your foundation must match your neck

Don't Triton's seven daughters represent the Seven Seas or something?

The song the daughters sing is for a concert Sebastian composed. It was supposed to be the pinnacle of his career or something, haha. Not a daily thing. Loved the video!

5 Ways 'Little Mermaid' Is The Most Terrifying Disney Movie - goo.gl/hIGZjz Ariel and Eric decided to get hitched after three days, during which no conversations took place. Kind of a wobbly start there, guys. Watch the whole thing right here! #itsavideomfers

This guy could pull off some seriously awesome Chris Pratt cosplay.

Dan promised in this episode to keep doing these until he dies. I wish so badly that were true.

Concerning the part about the heated drinks, instead of fires, the ocean has something called geothermal vents. I believe that we see them in or near Ursula's lair, and it's very possible that Triton or Sebastian also use geothermal vents in order to heat the drink that you mentioned.

Oh come on back in the day royal sixteen years old girls marry other royals without even a first date and never loved them. At least Ariel kind of thought he was cute

1. you're too cute 2. never knew that there was a "prequel" 3. I always thought Eric's kingdom was danish because Anderson (who wrote the original story) was Danish 4. I always wondered how that statue got In there 5. I wondered why Sebastian had a Caribbean accent 6.dont know where but when I was younger I thought I read in a book that ursula was trident's sister. 7. "back in the day" people had arranged marriages, especially European royalty. so that whole 3 day scenario isn't so far fetched. 8. When ursula age those sea anemones, it always made me feel sick. that was probably the part I hated out of the whole movie 9. right-- how come the dog doesn't speak? ?!! 10. and why is there both a parchment and a painting under water that don't disintegrate? ?? Questions questions. ...

Another wierd thing about the kiss the girl scene is that sebastian tells Eric her name is Ariel but with his accent it sounds like "Ah riel". Eric instead of repeating it as said changes it to fit his own accent and says "Air riul" which makes no sense if he assumed that sebastian's voice was actually his own mind.

"How's it damp you're in the fucking sea" 😂😂

There was a prequel??? Sigh

Alright here we go: 1) they weren't middle school concerts. Ariel is the youngest and she's 16, well in high school age. In the original story, the sisters were one year apart, which puts her oldest sister Aquata at like 23, that's post-college, not middle school. 2) Pretty sure it wasn't once a day, wasn't it a celebration for something? didn't they say in the film? eh don't remember, moving on 3) Triton is not the one making them sing the song, he didn't come up with it, most likely Sebastian did. 4) Idk what land monarch you live in, but generally women are allowed to be hiers of thrones in most monarchs, even back when the story took place, especially when no male hier/son is present. Therefore it will be by birth order and Aquata will be queen when Triton dies. Plus they established that women are equally capable of using the tident which is the symbol of power over the seas 5) Pretty sure mermaids work differently than humans, I mean, these girls have weird hair colors and all, so probes it's common to have that many kids? 6) Hate to break it to you, but that's how marriages worked back then, especially between monarchies, it was more like a business deal. And people married as early as 12 or 13, 16 isn't even that young, like come on, you can drive, and most 16 year olds today are dating anyways. Ariel was lucky that she got to marry someone she liked, or at least thought she loved,when a lot of other princesses/princes of her time are married off to poeple they've never met. And back then dating was most likely not the culture norm anyways. 7) Makes me wonder, what do merpeople eat? Sea weed? maybe but what's their source of protein? I think it's safe to assume that they eat fish too. Kinda like in the human world, how some animals are perceived to be intelligent friends to human and precious little pets while others are slaughtered and eaten and no one bats an eye. 8) The shark was kinda just a criminal, a gangster all most. Just because you rule the 7 seas doesn't mean no one's gonna break the law. 9) Prince Eric did question the voice source, he even turned to look, and looked perplexed when he saw nothing, but decided to try the name anyways. That's all the holes I can poke for now. Nice vid btw, it was very entertaining

to the fish issue: sea creatures eat fish... she wouldnt have a problem with a seafood diet.

They had a kid. Melody. Let's please talk about that movie!

Am I the only one that loves when Cracked talks about the sins of Disney movies?

Wait... did you say clod? CRYSTAL CLODS

Cracked is reposting these videos now. Newcomers to Cracked are falling in love with the Golden Age crew like I did 10 years ago, and it's making me feel confused feelings.

ariel also eats fish. for crying out loud, mermaids eat sailors too.

I hate that you said that no 16 year old has ever made a good decision. looks like we know who gets his information from buzzfeed.

It's bad enough Ariel was willing to betray herself and be with Eric which she barely knows. I mean seriously she willing traded her voice to Ursula so she could have legs be with the first human she sees which is already a recipe for disaster. There are several things wrong with their relationship. Even as a kid I could see there was something seriously wrong with their relationship but being so young I obviously didn't understand it entirely. Trident is a idiot for letting his daughter choose to be with a human that only sees her as a object

I was obsessed with the little mermaid growing up. I wanted to be one, sing like Ariel, and I drew 35 mermaids with different tails. Than I grew up and realized that Ariel was a spoiled brat. Triton had anger issues and caved in at the end giving his youngest daughter legs and a pretty dress! I agree with everything, EVERYTHING you said! Ugh I forgot that she was 16. That makes everything worse. They should've left the Hans Christian Andersen version alone. It was about the little mermaid and not about her dad and his issues ( like Finding Nemo is more about Marlin, his dad) I want you to rip into this movie longer!! Scuttle is crazy..that's his deal.

1) marriages of love are relatively new, the kings are making moves 2) fish eat other fish just as mammals eat other mammals. serving flounder at a mermaid wedding is akin to steak at a human one.

If you're counting the prequel then surely you must count the sequel in which Ariel\Eric's relationship is going rather well. Also most fish eat other fish, and any warm blooded creature as large as a mermaid isn't going to survive on kelp. I think she'll be fine with piscophagy.

I can answer the heated drink one... There are vents under the ocean that are very hot, we must assume they were using them. Since, this is the case, they wouldn't know what a fire be, since it couldn't exist there, although lava may and does at times. And there is a large group of Corkscrews collectors, BTW. So in that Ariel was correct and part of a long running collectors society.

There is actually historical evidence to why Arial and Erik’s marriage is doomed. British men visiting China would meet a woman and they would marry; once the woman learns English, their marriage basically fall apart and she hopeful returns to China and meets a man she actually liked.

"It looks damp." "You're in the OCEAN."

Your rant about ariel being sixteen and not dating isn't accurate once you consider the time period. Given they are on a sailing ship, i'm thinking 17th century. Most royal daughters in that time would have been married off asap, if not betrothed and would have been lucky to have met their husband before the wedding, let alone 'dating' before hand.

I always thought the Little Mermaid was a little messed up, even when I was 8 watching it. I was like this as a kid watching this and was thinking Um that seems mean and unwarranted of the dad.

Can I just say that Triton is from Greek mythology which means that he's not even technically in charge of the sea... Poseidon is so totally pissed at him im sure, since Triton is Poseidon's son. Just saying y'all

According to some early drafts of the Little Mermaid, they were going to have a montage with Ariel dating mermen.

Hate to break it to you, but that's how marriages actually worked way back when. You married this person you never met before because your parents told you so and then you shut up about it.

i dont think mermaids and mermen would care if we eat fish even if they have feelings, like humans we could eat animals like pigs and cows and chickens which might have feelings but we would still eat them, thats just nature. hell certain country's eat dogs, DOGS, and what does tell you?

Point about the fish eating, technically since all things under the sea EAT eachother except seaweed itself and other platlife. Ariel being higher and bigger on the food chain should be down with eating some kind of sea life. Fishes, clams ect. Flouder included. Unless she's like the whales that eat plankton, but she can't be because she has TEETH, so physically it's established her body is the kind that hunts and eats meat. Technically disney can't show Ariel eating fish, while talking to her fishy friends, but she really would be a fish eater.

I'm 16, I'm watching this video. Was this a bad decision... eyyyyyy

"It looks damp in there" "You're in the ocean... what the fuck are you talking about?" Just the way he said it was pure gold!

I'm 16 and I agree with the statement that 16 year olds can't make good decisions 10000000%

My head is breaking. Anime has screwed with my perception of the name Sebastian. Fellow anime nerds will know what I mean.

So the conclusion is that Ariel might become a female Hannibal Lecter?

uh what about Joan of Arc, she was sixteen and she led the french into battle then help them win!

Like always good points you got there, it's still the 2nd best show on cracked.

"the show i will keep doing until I die" I wish. I miss you, Daniel. 😭💕

Ah, well. That Ariel is 16 and that she only has known Eric for three days isn't actually an issue since this is.. what? The Middle Ages? The 1700's? Either way, during this time 16 wasn't an unreasonable age to marry (it is actually possible that it was pretty late - how come none of Ariel's sisters are married???) and arranged marriages wasn't unusual, so three days together is a pretty long time. But still, you've got some points, especially about Triton (but I can only assume that Attina or her future husband is his heir/ess). And yeah, Flounder is actually pretty smart.

This is amazing. Do a part 2 of this.

I never liked this movie. Even when I was little I thought it was stupid that they're instantly in love with each other without ever having met and that the prince dumps her for another girl just because he likes her voice.

Oh my godddd I miss DOB - this channel has regularly been my fave and I’m glad to see it on its way back

So my question is, assuming they let the fishing continue as well..... the people have to eat. If they catch one of Ariel's sisters, can they cut off her lower half and eat her. Or, would that be cannibalism?

the sharks are under water hyenas. "Ariel, everything the Sea touches is your kingdom. Except those guys, Fuck those guys."

Crystal Clods.

7:20 Yellow Diamond: *TRIGGERED*

Flounder was always my favourite character

I was muttering "Atlantis" under my breath the whole video. Thanks, Daniel.

Dan, you are the funniest one at Cracked, hands down. And that's saying something cuz there is some deep talent on the team. Anyway, your writing is incredible and your delivery impeccable. Keep doing the show forever. I want to gather my grandchildren around my hover chair and demand they tune their neural implants to the DOB network because President Dan is delivering another State of the Humor address (which is what you change the name of this segment to in 2042 when the original title is outlawed because people with OCD got offended, but you're actually the real president you just don't want to change the laws for your own ends because of your benevolent nature, which has led to your approval ratings being the highest ever recorded, peaking around 139% in some states because the people insisted their votes be counted twice because you are so beloved). Keep it up.

To be fair, there's just this vague transition between Triton giving Ariel legs (and that dress - I wanted that dress *so* bad when I was six) and the wedding - there could have been some indefinite courtship period that they left out. Presumably Triton could easily turn her back into a mermaid if it didn't work out.

"You absolute clod..!" *grins so much* (it's a Steven universe reference if you don't get it.)

I completely agree with this video about Triton. He's a psycho who bans stuff he doesn't like for whatever reasons, hated ALL Humans over the accidental actions of a handful of them, blows up anything he doesn't like, unjustly imprisons anyone who disobeys him /even his own daughters/ and then stupidly hands over his kingdom to the sea witch Ursula and putting all of his subjects in grave danger of being killed just to keep Ariel from being turned into sea weed without considering that Ursula could just kill Ariel right afterwards which she tried to do. Triton could have just killed Ursula to undo the contract made between Ursula and Ariel, that would've fit his personality much better, a psycho whose a fierce lion when protecting his daughters from beings like Ursula. Instead, he acts stupid at the worst possible time and for all of his stupid and unjust actions, Triton isn't fit to be king and should be deposed. Seriously, why do Disney movies constantly produce these glaring plot holes that even a child could spot? The Disney movie writers need to go over their movie scripts better before production so they can catch the plot holes or at least find a way to explain in the movie just WHY the characters make such dumb decisions or do stupid things.

When did they say the concert was a daily thing?

"Is his inner monologue always in a thick jamaican accent? - Oll de thyme!" Laughed so hard at this! I will never be able to look at Prince Eric normally!

I rewatched the movie a couple weeks ago, and never realized before that Ariel was kinda bratty at times

Cracked. As in the fractured remains of your childhood hopes, dreams, and memories.

I was distracted by the green screen/side of your glasses

It came out in the novelization that Ursula was a member of the royal court, but her desire to usurp Triton got her banished. In the musical, they are related.

You reminded me of the words in a Johnny and June Carter Cash song: “We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout… !”

#3, Eric and Ariel's marriage is saved because Eric loves eating fish.

this literally has nothing to do with the video but god damn I hate the Pringles ads.

0:12 Sadly he didn't keep doing this show until he died. He's a writer for Last Week Tonight now, which is nice, but I miss seeing his face, especially when he makes a joke he likes, but he knows the audience might not value as much as he does

Ariel is so pretty.

Sebastian's the one that made the musical as a one-time honor to Triton

WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD OF THIS CHANNEL!!!!! THIS GUY IS HILARIOUS!!!!!

Ever just look into Daniel's neck line, the abrupt transition to red, glinting under the hot lights of the set. I think sinful things about Danny Devito in the wee hours. End plate, yes

Random question, but does he have makeup on? If so, it's a bit on the yellow side.

I'm pretty sure Scuttle's “deal" is hand puppets.

Anyone else distracted by how mismatched his face color (most likely due to makeup) is to the rest of his body?

"the show which i will keep doing until i die" RIP DOB

"is his internal monologue always in a thick Jamaican accent?"