I don't think we split the bill (just) because we are cheap, we also feel the responsibility to pay for ourselves. As a woman I would never expect to not have to pay for something. It's not just dating either, it's really uncommon for one person to pay for dinner or something for a whole group in general (unless it's a parent or something).

It’s funny how honesty is a culture instead of just a way of life 😉

Most dutch boys aren't romantic. I love my boyfriend very much but the concept of romance is unknown to him. When I told him all I wanted for valentines day were some flowers he put them in a big black bucket, set them on top of the kitchen counter and when I came over he said: 'ow your flowers are in the kitchen'. That the gesture of him opening the door with the flowers in his hand, handing them to me and wishing me a happy valentines day would have made it a lot more special for me was a mindblowing concept. Because the end result was the same right? I got my flowers, so what difference would it have made? And it's not like he just didn't care. He actually got really nice flowers from an expensive florist, but romance just seems pointless. Dutch guys are also very practical. You can't reach something from the top shelf? Ofcourse they'll help you. That makes sense, they can reach it and you can't. Are you waiting for a guy to open your door? You can wait for a long time because they won't. You are closer to the door than he is, if he wasn't there you would be able to open it yourself, so that means you can open it right now. They aren't rude they are just very practical thinkers. Ofcourse I miss a bit of romance sometimes, but I love that Dutch guys see you as a strong and independent person and don't treat you like you are incapable of taking care of yourself. EDIT because I still get replies on this post: my ex was a cheating bastard who never actually cared much for me. I'm happy to inform you I'm in a way happier and healthier relationship at the moment.

For me splitting the bill just makes sure the guy doesnt have any expectations for a next date or something else. If I dont split the bill I feel like I owe him something. If I am dating for a longer time we tend to pay in turns.

I'm Dutch and the idea of getting married before you've moved in together is totally crazy to me. What if you move in and you find out you just don't work living together? I'm so glad my SO and I are already living together because I know that when/if we get married it will just be more of this and what we have now is great. Getting married first seems like such an irresponsible risk in comparison.

A good way of viewing the saving culture in the Netherlands is: you have a guy who is focussed on the future. More importantly he's probably preparing for a future WITH YOU. So you know he's serious about your relationship. It's a form of reliability.

I feel like splitting the bill isn't even considered as feminism because it's so normal. At least I've never thought of it that way 😂 It just seems fair. *SPAARRRR REKENING* yass

I dated a (dutch) guy ones who paid everything for me. I never asked for it and honestly hated it. Not only because I could pay my part, but he also used to hold it over my head. Like "I bought this for you, what are you going to do for me?" This even ended up in him wanting sexual favors in return. Needless to say, that relationship ended horribly. I'm now in a long term relationship with someone who is just equal to myself. He'll sometimes pay for me, I sometimes pay for him. We live together and are indeed unmarried with two happy little children :P

Mannn im from Serbia and my boyfriend is Dutch, and guess what? We like each other we moved in together and im 25 weeks pregnant hahaahha lol we were laughing so hard when you started talking about babys and ring 💍😂

Just came back from the netherlands...dated dutch men before. Its true...honesty is key. Not always something you want to hear, but transparency is appreciated

Splitting the bill, or paying for your own meal, also means there is no expectation or pressure to 'pay the guy back' by intimacies you don't really want. It's about equality and independence, but also helps to allow both to draw their relationship lines where they want to on an equal footing. Once the relationship is progressing well, if one of the couple earns a lot more than the other, you can discuss if you feel happy for the richer one to treat the other to something extra special and costly. This also means that if the couple are on an unequal financial footing, it's important to start out on less costly dinners, so the less rich person does not feel unduly pressured (either to pay more than they can afford, or to give out compensation in other ways).

Ik ben elke keer zo blij als ik zie dat jij weer een video hebt geüpload!💕❤

There is something about the empowered Dutch culture that I like (I am Dutch) but Dutch guys also, generally, have no idea how to be a gentleman and I think that is why I gravitate towards foreign men. Finnish first and now American, in these cultures men are more celebrated for being men and women for being women. I can pay for myself and do so but I love feeling like ''his girl'' and taken care off and it makes me feel that way when a men takes charge. The ''I can do it myself'' attitude of Dutch women has certainly a backlash

Haha I don't feel like not marrying before kids is something that people purposely want here. But I do feel that there is no social pressure to do so anymore (except for within the more strict religious communities in the NL). In my experience some people don't really see marriage as something that adds to their relationship. Or, they don't get married (earlier in their relationship) because of the matter of money: they rather spend their money on a house, travelling or a baby and maybe do it later on when they saved up again (or earn more money as they're older) With the going Dutch in my opinion it depends in the dating fase: some guys like to pay, some are fine with splitting. When they become a couple, they usually are equally contributing financially. A lot of couples here in the NL have both joined and separate bank accounts. I think in general splitting bills is something we do over here also with friends and family, for example over dinner: hence the app "Tikkie" 😉

I would say that most people I know of move in together first, then they get married (or register a partnership, this is getting increasingly popular as well) and children usually come last. However, as someone in my mid 20s, I do notice a lotttt of couples my age don't want to get married at all (ever) and when they do, most women don't fully take their partners name anymore, they either add it to their own or just simply keep their own name.

The thumbnail said "SASS" and I hot it💛 love your video 😚

My boyfriend is a Dutch man and he never lets me pay

First time watching you & I loved your personality ! 😍

Been married for over 15 years. Everything you say is true. About paying for a woman... it used to be accepted that being treated was a clear sign of expectations for the future. (I'm trying to stay polite.) Modern women - and men, for that matter - tend to not want to send that kind of messages. Dutch men know this.

I just found your channel. I'm two mins in and I adore you.

Laughing so hard at this video! Absolutely love your channel x

I’ve been in Amsterdam for a few weeks and Spaghetteria is one of my favorite places to go!

When me and my boyfriend started dating, the person who had more money was the one paying, and the next time the other person would pay. We did split the bill a lot too, but sometimes it also was a thing of who can afford it the most. If it's equally distributed over multiple dates, its pretty fair too.

Hi Joey, hope all is well with u. I really like watching ur videos haven’t u realized that u should rather be a celebrity than a vlogger.😊 Watching here from UAE but I’m moving to the netherlands soon.

hey! i'm from Texas and like yeah theres some small country hick towns that are still like "yeah get married before moving in blah blah blah" but I live in Houston, one of the biggest cities in Texas and it's very much like any other urban city and majority of people live together before marriage. Honestly it's becoming less common to even get married at all or very much in the later 20's or mid 30's is more of what I'm seeing now. Anyways, like the vid! love your energy!

I am Dutch but I never dated a guy who wants to have children before getting married. I never knew that its a Dutch thing🤔🤣🙈😘

I think it makes sense to wait to get married before you even lived with your partner, because that's when you get to know each other best. Love your video's btw 😁

I love you Vlog! very informative!

Why would someone even want to marry someone they have never lived with? You don't know yet how your dynamic would be when you run into each other all day...

Love you and your videos!! Could you make a video about your experiences in other cities? Like on het 'platteland f.e.?

Im sticking with my Dutchie also... daarom im learning his mogelijk taal 😁 He earns more than I do, so he understands that our splitting of bills are not always equal and he knows that I’m still building up my savings. And he appreciates that. Im a casual type of gal but i did ask for a flower on my birthday ( being straight forward 😆) In the Philippines marriage is a must and comes first, so we had the Talk about it . He knows it’s important to me and he is willing to grant? ( grant me marriage? Hahahah ) But I now understand that it is better that we live together first so we can adjust, especially me to his Country. Anyways I’ll be away from all the society’s pressure of settling down since I’ll be living in Holland. That’s more like it 😁

This is an amazing video and it’s so true! We split the bill because we feel like we have to take care of ourselves in like everything. I’m a girl and I always expect I have to pay for myself, that’s just how I learned it. (And sorry if I made any grammar or spelling mistakes😅I’m not that good in English)

Thank you so much for the tips and comparison because I am chatting online with a dutch, yes I seen everything you said but did not see him in person. Yes all differences i' their culture make sense. You are right! I liked all your vlog thanks and share more for a filipina like me who agreed to meet him there by getting a work. Yes a saver means they set a plan for it? Good job it's fun listening to you!

My Dutch boyfriend pays for my meals and I asked to pay for myself but he said no he wants to. I really like it he's romantic! He does have a big thing for saving up but I never felt like he's not sweet. He always is considerate and listens to me.I did specify to him that I want marridge before kids and he agreed! So maybe it's not about all Dutch guys.

Love the 5 o’clock beard♥️

I do recognize myself ( female) in all five of your points. So true.

I really like your vlog Joey 👍🏾 ❤️

The splitting the bill thing was in my time ( i am 53) something out feminist moms taught us. If you pay yourself the guy wont expect any (sexual) favours. So the relationship starts at an equal basis. Now of is just normal.

We don’t always have babies before we get married. That depends on the person. It is however true first we move in together, then we get married

Marriage last is not something I recognise, really. It is true that people live together first over here. But then marry and then getting children (very late).

I'm from a orthodoxe Christian family and culture her in the Netherlands so we are also not used to just go and live together. But I indeed see it happen a lot if I look outside my culture

What's your best saving tip? Love your videos ❤

I love casual restaurants and paying for myself 😂

Joey's Matchmaking Services!©️

Thanks for the explanation 🔥

We will meet first dating with my dutch boyfriend. Thanks for all advices🥰💚💚

Moving in together is normal here. My parents had no problems at al with that 35 years ago. We married on the same day we met. Ten years later. I now have a granddaughter but no married children. All fine. :)

These are so freaking true my ex is Dutch man and these are what I exactly felt

You are amazing 😉 Just discovered your channel today and I absolutely love your vibe ❤️ #SUBSCRIBED

On the first date my now husband paid the bill when I went to the toilet. So we never really discussed who paid what. And when we were together at firat he paid more than me, because he already worked full time and I was a student. And now we are married, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I do not recognize the wanting babies before marriage. I think the option for it is there. But there are also just people we do not want to get married. And most people in my area seem to prefer to get married before buying a house and/or wanting babies. I think it depends per couple off course. I definitely wanted to be married before children and my husband just had not really thought about it. He lives by the day.

My fiance does pay for everything cos I still don't have work at all but sometimes when I offer to pay for groceries he won't allow me 💛

I'm dutch and this is how it went for us. We dated (long distance) and after we knew we really liked each other and sort of knew we wanted to be together for a long time (till death do us part) he moved in with me in my rental apartment. for us that is just also a test drive of the relationship where you find out about your ability to be able to live together and still love each other and how you communicate with each other on a daily basis. and after we thought everything was going well and we didn't want to murder each other we decided to go buy a house together. And for that we got a partnership because it just makes things easier to deal with and we would be eligible for a higher mortgage (not having to explain our relationship or have to defend it to be able to get a mortgage). We know we love each other but and maby one day we will get married because we also want to celebrate our union in a non practical way. But before that I expect a well thought of proposal that is romantic. Cause I also want to be wooed every once in a while ^^ Generally people do get married either because they want to and think that is something special or when they have kids because it takes care of all the legal stuff as well. ofc people generally do it because they love each other as well :)

Haha, fine that you and Nick saved for a house Joey, for as long as i now i allways had some small savings in a little bin for .'.you never now' . Some times even a view euro's ,bud i have to got some . And for a new topic? Can you try something about the different dialects ? Groetjes aan Nick!

Joey you are so funny!

You are so charismatic. I like you so much!!!

Very expressive 👍🏻

my dutch ex was not honest at all... he was telling girls that he was single for a year while we had 3 years living together

I think this is al so true! Als a dutch woman I totally agree and think these things largely apply to dating a dutch woman as well. Though getting married has become a bit more fashionable lately.

It's living together and then either marriage and maybe kids or kids and maybe marriage. Or just stick with living together without kids and marriage. But the "samenwonen" is the most important step.

I'm a traditional Dutch guy. If I take my wife to dinner than I'll pay. We do not have children and we are married. We have nothing with jesus. She works full time as a kook. She pays for groceries and clothing...

We Dutchmen are taught from a young age by both our parents, family, surroundings, educators/schools and Dutch society in general that girls/women⬅including trans women (yeah, we really aren't interested in your thoughts on that btw) are equal to us and should be treated as such. Opening a door for someone if he/she/they has their hand full sure,...if the person is less mobile or elderly, definitely, if it's a sudden rain storm of course, if that person just enters right after you duh normal behaviour, but not just because she's a woman, she's got perfectly fine working hands and arms herself right. We Dutchmen don't like women that hold on to antiquated "values and ideas" on how men should act around them, definitely not if they want to be seen as modern and equal at the same time,...that is not how Dutchwomen are brought up and we expect that from foreign women aswell. And this behaviour and set of thoughts go's trough the Dutch culture like a red line in a story. Ethnicity isn't a thing either here regarding relationships,....nobody looks twice if an interethnic couple is out and about living their lives in the Netherlands. It might be huge in the country of your origin,...it might have all kinds of historical negative connotations,...not here in the Netherlands and we appreciate it if you keep it to yourself.⬅when in Rome. Religion is seen here as a privat matter,...so don't preach and we won't ask either. Never talk about money,...it's a huge faux pas in the Netherlands,...don't be flashy either, we absolutely hate that and won't be impressed, quite the opposite actually. Splitting the bill is a sign that we see you as equal, not some delicate little flower that needs us men to hold your hand and provide for you. Women that are into that stuff shouldn't date a Dutchman and check their priorities irl too btw xD.⬅can't have it both ways, yes Dutch directness. 👍-up on the video Joey.

Maybe it's old fashioned, but I think it's normal that the person initiating the date pays the bill.

Honestly I'd say marriage before baby but they're probably about the same. And definitely move in with each-other before marriage, just seems super obvious.

our first date was a walk around museumplein with vlaams friteshuis vleminckx to fill our stomach lol

id say everyone splits the bill just bc its considered normal and its what everyone does, when ur a teenager n u go out to eat with a group you probably don’t have enough money to pay for everyone so you just pay your part of the groups meal? if that makes sense, like it’s just something we’ve always done

Toen ik opgroeide, was er een reclame op de TV van Sire. Een slimme meid is op haar toekomst voorbereid. Die kan je ook terug vinden op You Tube. En over SPAREN, ik werk al vanaf mijn 11e jaar na school. In de vis (haring en uien) en ik moest van mijn ouders altijd 25% SPAREN van wat ik had verdiend. En dat doe ik nu nog. Ik was 22 jaar toen ik mijn eerste huis kocht, en 23 jaar toen ik trouwde, dat is nu 20 jaar geleden.

I love you joey 😂♥️♥️hhhhh i m laughing so hard

The best part is, I would never date a Dutch guy. Not because I’m racist or anything, I am just a simpel lesbian. But I do like your video’s tho, they’re awesome!

I think honesty goes kind of hand in hand with the directness of Dutch people. I'm Dutch but have been living in Australia for the last 4 years. If I'm being direct with someone, I'm very conscious not to do it in a rude way, but even if I tell a guy I don't like something, don't want to do something, or give my opinion in the nicest way possible, they usually don't take it well haha. I used to feel really weird about guys paying the bills, but now if I go on a first date I let them pay 90% of the time. I offer to pay half, but usually, they insist, and I don't want to make it awkward by starting an argument about it, and I do appreciate the gesture. Personally, I don't necessarily feel the need to get married, but I do want kids, so I would see myself having kids before getting married. I don't think it's necessarily the norm in the Netherlands though. I never actually dated a Dutch guy, eventough I'm Dutch, so I can't really compare my experiences to that haha

Honesty in Dutch is similar to Middle Eastern culture. So, I can relate since I'm Jordanian.

"Because you'll have your grandma at the door and all of your uncles and aunts knock your door and saying: You are sinning!" :))) Joey, you cracked me up! :)

Fill your face with plastic LMAOOOOO

You’re so funny!

I have never split the bill on a date, never would except the proposal to do so (not that any woman would and mean it...). I've never heard any of my mates or colleagues did split the bill(and got away with it). And my old folks would slap the shit out of me if they'd found out I let a woman pay for her dinner. How the F did 'splitting the bill' became known to be a typical Dutch thing then??

There are also a lot of dutch people who decide to not get married at all. It is still a striking difference for me to compare america , Kentucky and the south mostly cause i lived in Kentucky and my boyfriend is from the south, and the Netherlands in age they get married. It still baffle me that people marry each other while still in college only knowing each other for like 2 years. Here we have a way of” if you are meant to be together why on earth rush into an marriage. That is also why we move in together first, cause do you really know a person before you move in together. All the young people i know who are either engaged or married are all Americans, not a single dutch one.

You right...my bf is almost like that what you describe about dutch men

Watching from Philippines ❤️

Most people do get married before they have children. But no one sees a problem if it happens the other way around. (Or just don't marry)

I do agree with the savings and baby before marriage part 😂 My fiance have more than enough savings yet he don't want to order that lekker Chinese meal cos it's a little bit expensive 😂 Mijn lekkerding is already asking for baby even though we're not married yet 😂😂😂 his friends did that as well 😂

De rekening delen geeft ook een bepaalde 'onbetaalde' rekening die mogelijk verwachtingen of een soort schuldgevoel creëert waar je (nog) niet op zit te wachten. Zeker bij een eerste date...

I am really traditional i will always pay for a women out of courtesy but will never force it on her.. I want to give my lovely wife everything but she is real dutch and says doe normaal .... So i need to really buy things for her...

When I clicked this vid I was thinkin this was just gonna be very stereo typical but ye, this is just true lol

I like dating Dutch guys, but then, I'm Dutch :). As for fancy restaurants, I'd be surprised if there is one in the whole country where you'd be looked at weird for wearing jeans with your nice shirt! And as for the marriage last thing, at least we have the proper committed relationship in between casual dating and marriage!

I just love dutch guys.most of them are romantic and if they love they mean it.am from Kenya.still 20 .but looking forward to date a Dutch guy.

Hi, Joey.. Greetings from philippines, my name is patrick. I have question, its been 1 year i meet a dutch man in social media like instagram and up to this day we feel happy to each other and we updated what we doomg everyday. I feel i like him.. my question is im confused he always sent me money here in philippines every month is it normal for dutch man?

Actually I think this isn't just dutch guys, it's girls too. And I think the whole splitting the bill yhing is motly a way to say I respect you. We work for our own money and don't need to be taken care for, we dutch women are very proud of that.

I love the Dutch!

Rekening rekening spaar ... 😂😂

My Dutch guy wanted to get married soooo soon. We had only been living together for five years and didn't even have kids yet!!?! Seriously though, we got married after 7 years together and people thought it was a bit soon

I have my Dutch man who spoils me. We are working on moving me and my son's to The Netherlands. 😁😁

I think splitting the bill has to do with equality

How can you not love your savings account.

I never pay bills throughout dating.

yep.. we only got married when i was pregnant , because that was the handy way to go for the children to have the same last name as the dad . and automatically makes him the dad. Not so if you're not married

Im dating a dutch guy but i never pay bills, with allof our dates, btw im asian living in holland

Lol i never paid one bill in my life,men always did,i wanted to though,but men normally wanne pay,now i donno if its difrent nowadays cause i am already married for 30 years.

splitting the bill has one purpose only , the women does not want to be in debt with the guy . lets say you are on a date . and the guy has to pay all of it. and there is no next date. that would be nasty for the guy, and the women might feel guilty. and still goes on a date with him because she would feel guilty again. by paying both half of it. even if the date doesn't turn out great, nobody has to feel guilty. atleast this is my way of thinking.

I never split bills in restaurants, if you want to eat with me,, eat my lasagne at home.

Savers are Keepers 😉

hun, we stan the stache...