Comment down below where you are watching from (Let's push this algorithm) 😎

I always thought in a healthy relationship we discover depths and faults in each other. Not so with a narc: the more you know about them, the more they hate you. You’re not supposed to figure them out.

If the Devil can't get to you, He will send a Narcissist. TRUTH!!

Narc weaknesses : 1 Addicted to false self 2 False narrative 3 Impressionable 4 Thin skinned, labile moods 5 Reliant on others

Yes please who lack self worth and respect. They are unable to achieve success …and are jealous of people who have WORTH!

I say, run away when you have the chance. Confrontation is not only pointless but dangerous.

When I finally couldn’t stand it and wrote a long text telling him how he hurt me and how I thought he was narcissistic, he blocked me and told me he didn’t trust me. He didn’t like that I saw through him. I’m now a threat, to exposing him for who he is.

The only thing that seems like it could help is having the Narcissist fear, legitimately, being publicly shamed and called out for their behavior.

But they can never be ashamed or feel anything because they just dump you and head away...no truth, no depth and no justice. He tore out my soul.

I left the narcissist and when I held them accountable for their lies, using certain tactics, their true self showed! So true.

Richard, I just realized that because I had an experience with a narcissist this was a big gap that I was missing in my personality to be able to deal with the world now I’m a completely different person. I’m so strong now I feel so adult and courageous.

When he was caught red handed cheating and others were witnesses to it....he broke a 10 year sobriety and had to go to rehab. In his 30 days he was FORCED to look inside with intense therapy, no drugs, no alcohol and no family. He came home a different man BUT then the mask when back on and he returned to who he was. I left him in May. It's been such a painful journey but I know there will be a light at the end

If you want to go through life with kindness and compassion, you have to be willing to defend yourself often when the jackals come out.

Telling people to give up hope on a narcissist that they can change can sound bad in and of itself, but actually can save someone from wasting so much of their life on a person who will only continue to cause damage and wreak havoc month after month, year after year whilst waiting for the change that will never come.

the one in and out of my life was frighteningly dangerous, his anger came fast and furious like throwing a flame onto alcohol, he was capable of anything in that moment, then it would pass, these people are unpredictable and you need to be on your guard at all times.

Once you see their patterns they really don’t seem that smart

9:13 pointless trying to get them to wake up… tried marriage counselling with mine. Made it much clearer that it was time to leave.

Do the thin skinned narcissist always have “health issues”? I can’t get over how many health issues this person had. From nasal passages being clogged to gout, and heart burn. If I ever said I have some health issue like I’m really tired or a pain somewhere (which was rare) within minutes or hours without fail he came up with some problem himself. It was like he always had to be in pain above me, the attention was all about him. It was exhausting, I felt more like his mother than his gf.

Am listening to our Richard from a nice village in Lorraine, France, where thousands of mirabelle (plum) trees are blooming everywhere in the countryside just now 🌸

I absolutely agree that our current societal 'norms' have created the conditions that allow narcissistic behaviours to exist largely unchecked. My ex-boyfriend was a classic case in point - he much preferred his online life as it allowed him greater control & manipulation over others than his real self ever could 😥✨

I agree: it takes a village not only to raise kids, but to keep parents accountable.

For the algorithm! Richard is the only coach, that wants you to actually get to a point where, you no longer watch his videos on narcissism.

This perfectly describes what I experience and see in a ‘friend’ after many years of self-education on the topic Finally free No chance of being hooked for a third time No chance It took co-dependency training and assessment and a commitment to self-differentiation My mother is a narcissist addict Wasted many years trying to help her Grew up and just found new narcs

With the birth of social media, people don't have to deal with this nonsense anymore. People are happy just having their cell phone and no human interaction.

I am just learning about npd and am shocked that the person that says they love you can be so cruel. My stories are exactly what all of your videos say. They truly never think they do anything wrong, and lie lie lie even when the truth is in their face. It’s painful because I wanted to be loved so much that I looked past all the negative behaviour for years.

Wow! This guy really goes even deeper than I understood before. He really hits the nail on the head.

I'm listening this from my soul

I've noticed they've used my good characteristics against me, they would say I don't have any to me,but they've use my empathy against me,its funny how they know your not a bad person, but continue doing horrible things

"Human needs aren't being met, BECAUSE we've succeeded as a species" is a truly profound and real statement. In addition to a great resource on dealing with toxic people, you are a philosopher too, Richard. Keep up the good work! Watching from Canada.

Absolutely, they have created this world around them that they really believe is real. But it is all in their head. Their flawed connection to reality leads them to understand the world only on their terms. They get frustrated when you don't submit to their world view, because it shows your strength and their lack of reality. They envy your ability to live in reality and manage the issues that come with life. They cannot accept what challenges them. It is like watching a petulant child having a fit. To a certain extent, they are annoying.

Richard, you, BY FAR, are the BEST source of information on NPD that I have come across and the level of understanding i have been able to achieve thanks to you has been a blessing and a lifesaver

You just described the entire police department I worked in. Needless to say they destroyed my life and livelihood.

The more I do the more useless I supposedly am and the worst I'm treated but I know the truth. I'll be free some day.

Brilliant! I have learned so much from you. I know you must get tired of narcissist videos. I'm so fascinated though. I've been out of my relationship for quite some time. However, I'm still so mind blown by the happenings during the relationship that I study narcissism. I also study myself and consistently work to improve. Your blunt videos have helped keep me strong and persevere through it all. Thank you!

6:30 Narcissistic mortification: if that small window of opportunity opens, of the narc's total collapse and abandonment of all support and flying monkeys, they may be open to seeking some feedback or therapy. But my experience showed me it's like a rubber band. The awareness is temporary. It stretches enough to self-soothe and but snaps back to their normal.- MAGAville, Pennsyltucky

The narcissist in my life is from South America and his family is very tribe like and I noticed over the years that they support his narcissism. They are not allowed to talk about feelings or it’s not supported

I just want to say THANK YOU!! I have been seeking help with my trauma bond for years!!! It's been HELL on earth. With that said, I just started your course on getting out of "trauma bond," and for the first time, I felt like I was on the path to recovery! Words can not express my gratitude towards you!! You are truly amazing!!!

Narcissism, part of our culture? Definitely!

I have been surrounded by Narcs my whole life including my parents and have become quite humbled by them because of multiple attacks! I originally thought they were tricksters but your description of the behavior patterns and their self has changed my understanding. The tactics are bazaar and your video has clearly explained why.

Wow Richard you hit the nail on the head, in a tribe there are many care givers so it would be hard for a child to without love/warmth. I’ve got avoidant personality disorder and growing up my mum literally did the bare minimum for me. She had zero interest in me and was physically aggressive towards me if I tried to bond with her. I learnt to stay well out of her way. Yet it was like this weird world where we were so isolated in London with so many people surrounding me that could have stepped in and provided me with a loving caregiver but my experience as a child had been reduced to just my mum and siblings because of the modern day set up. People need community and I’m proof of that. Not all of us are blessed to have functional parents so we need the extended family to step in and provide support. The state is supposed to be that safety net but they fail children and vulnerable people time and time again. What I would have given as a child to have someone hug me after school. The sad truth is I know there are good people out there who would have but I was out of reach and sight to the rest of the world. Thank you for bringing these topics to light 🙏🏼

Tribal, or small communities, are a natural way to live. Narcissistic personality wouldn't develop because the trauma would be lessened.

Thank you Richard. Remember thinking before the age of 10 and then after the age of 15; wanting another family to bring me in to be their own.

Being in lockdown during Covid with a grandiose narcissistic spouse who besides manager also is an artist, was a true f*cking nightmare. I always thought he was depressed because he missed his admiration on stage, now i know it's called narcissistic depletion. 🙏🏻

I'm listening from New Orleans LA, US :)

One of my narcs would sleep for days whenever they felt they weren't getting what they wanted from their supply. Another would rage and "punish" others for not going along with their plans for them. Sick, sick people!

I was with who I suspect was a covert narcissist for 4years. He always played the victim, always someone out to get him etc. It has been 4 months since he left me and I now realise that I knew basically nothing about him. We never lived together, cause my parents lived with me as my mom was very sick. She died last year Oct., I became depressed and between him, my grieving dad and my kids, he started complaining I wasn't paying enough attention to him. My explaining my depression, my other responsibilities fell on deaf ears. He didn't try to help, or actually showed much empathy. So he started a month long online affair with a woman on the other side of the country, while still telling me he loves me until the day before she packed up her life and moved with her little daughter to live with him. (Think she has issues too). From what I have heard his personality has done a 180° degree turn with her, suddenly he is in incredible debt etc. It just boggles the mind🙄

Seems it is rampant in all tribes great or small. Cain and Abel. Cant escape it. Only accountability and morality helps.

Unfortunately my mum is a narcissist and she doesn’t love me. Explains, exactly why I have been depressed and disassociated for years and haven’t managed to get better. 😞😖 she’s been subtly emotionally abusing me. Onwards and upwards I guess, no contact from here on.

Michelangelo’s David used as an image of the fragmented narcissist? A character who represents the literal opposite of the narcissistic personality.

Man you're good! You described my ex that took me years to 'See'. I look back and think 'damn, am I stupid' but at the time when that occured I had allot going on with much limitations to resolve them. Now I look back that I was meant to go through that as a life's lesson. Life is like that, you repeat lessons until you get it right. And when you look back you will be proud of what you went through and learned from that can Help others.

i dont think im narcissitic but i do think i have attributes/tendencies like most people do. grew up with both sides of my family being narcisstic. i knew at a young age that something wasnt right but couldnt ever really put my finger on it. i knew that the way i was raised wasnt right and made a vow to my self that i will not treat my kids the way i was nor the people around me. i do want to better and understand my self as i do see some of the things mentioned in your videos actions of my self. i really appreciate your time and efforts that you put forth to educate.

I totally agree, it truly does take a village to bring up a child. If we have no where to turn for what we need those needs go unfulfilled, and that leads to a messy head!

Most people don’t abandon the narcissist as they usually have people surrounding them since they present their false self to most people

Watching the adolescent discontent and sideshow of an adult, an ex, after they've been called out on their undiagnosed NPD...shocking

the second part of the video is golden! the human psyche and emotional needs are not adapted to the modern lifestyle. we evolved to live in small, close-knit bands. watching from Germany 🇩🇪

Thank You, Richard! You are speaking truth.

You are helping so,so, much!! Watching from Indiana. God Bless you🎉

Watching this from Somerset UK 👍 Thank you Richard 🙏💛

Loved this discussion! Well done Richard and thanks for your dedication and research🎉

I’m learning so much from your videos, Richard. Deciding right now which course of yours to take first after being discarded a month ago. I’m actually stunned at how much this hurts.

I always love the perspective you bring to the table.

I ABSOLUTELY loved your commentary after. I love the way you view a lot of things you spoke of. I agree

Truly informative and enlightening. Thank you.

Always love the way you do these videos with such wisdom.

I am pretty sure that my ex is both covert and grandiose. Within our relationship, he'd act like he was the smartest man alive, I and the children were beneath him. He'd talk to me as if I was incapable of doing anything on my own. But with others, he would be very humble. He'd act like the victim, tell his family that I was emotionally abusive, that I trapped him, that he does everything, and I do nothing. Any sort of criticism was met with hostility. He'd idealise any new person that came into his life, bosses, acquaintances, members, and leaders of a religious organization we used to be a part of. Literally, anyone that he liked something about was idealized. Once he saw some flaw with them, he quickly dropped them and ghosted them. He did the same with me. When we first met, he idealized me. As soon as he saw my flaws, I was devalued. He presented this false persona of being humble, kind, helpful, the victim of circumstance, and the black sheep of the family that no one wanted to talk to. He would pay for others when he first met them (even if we didnt have the money to do so and without talking to me about it first), when we first met I had to put my elderly dog down and couldnt afford the cremation costs, my mother refused to lend me the money for it, so he offered to pay. I accepted and he held that over my head when I tried to leave him after he'd become emotionally abusive. He told his family that I used him for his kindness, that I was emotionally abusive, that I'd trapped him by getting pregnant (despite our children being planned and he was the one that brought up us having kids together first and how much he wanted to be a father). Everything I'd say or do was eventually held over my head. He deflected, projected and in some instances simply lied in order to look like he was a good guy who was trying to be a good father and partner despite having a partner that treated him horribly. In reality it was the other way around. He once told me that he was so critical of me because he was very self critical, that I didnt deserve respect because I wasnt a respectable person, he would hone in on my flaws and insecurities and make fun of me for them. When I pointed out his flaws he got mad, he got so mad. He made sure I was wholly dependent on him, I had no money of my own, everything was in either his or his parents name, I wasnt allowed to work (he threatened to sleep with someone else, and take the car I was using from me), whenever I would try to leave he'd take my car keys, my phone, my bank cards, anything I'd need to be independent. I had nothing that was my own. Everything revolved around him and what he wanted. My wants and needs were unimportant. If i voiced any concerns, feelings, opinions, I was told that I was too emotional, I was always looking for something to be wrong, I had no idea what I was talking about, I made him miserable, I simply couldnt be happy. He often told me it wasnt on him to validate me, that me seeking reassurance and compliments was annoying him. Every time I started to pull away he'd act wounded and hurt, and do everything I'd been asking for, only to devalue me again once he was sure I was reeled back in. Trauma bonds are vicous in so many ways. Your entire perception is warped, there is nothing outside of the narcissist, you lose your sense of self, your entire identity. It took me a couple years to realize that and gather the strength and courage to leave.

Fabulous video.....very much enjoyed the content. The ideas put forward are thought provoking. Thanks.

Good one! Useful. Thanks.🙏🏾 Listening from Germany Cologne 🧚🏽‍♂

This is one of the most important videos l have seen. Thank you Richard this is so true.

This was helpful very enlightening. Thank you for putting this out.

NB, Canada 🇨🇦! I’ve learned so very much, thank you for all the wonderful knowledge. Indeed knowledge is power! Ty

I only started to watch your videos recently as I just escaped a narcist just after my boyfriend for over 20 years died who turns out to be a narcist as well. It is all very clear to me when I speak about their attitudes, much less when it comes down to my attitude for over more then 20 years. I ve watched 100 of videos about this subject but I have to say that you have a very clear and sincire way of expressing yourself and I totally agry with your points of view! I am really impressed by who you are and the way you try to help people because you really do! Respecfully yours.

Watching from Finland❤️😍 Amazing video thank you so much🙌‼️🙏❤️🥰

highly recommend the unplug-course. let the misery and drama end and start to be human (again). ✌️

Thank you for the work you do and the effort that you give in the process. Brilliant Conversation. I believe, just as you pointed out, the power of numbers in small groups forces accountability. Not everyone has Integrity. I say this out loud quite a bit, that if there had been a third party present in the majority of arguments regarding morality with family members, friends and significant others, those disagreements would have ended much sooner, and with less resistance. Exceptionally less gaslighting for sure. Unfortunately my dichotomy always has me feeling sorry for the aggressor because I realize it is in fact not their fault, but a trait that has either been passed down through generations (and/or) caused from trauma. This has always led to giving eternal forgiveness, yet always being the only one to ever apologize.

I have been looking into narcissisms for last couple of weeks and how can I change this of myself . I need help , I often find that my ego just builds up as self defense , my mind is going on auto mode , this is damaging my relationships , so I found that mid level people pleasing works . I am scared of feeling important to someone and make them disappointed , so they would trow me out. My upringing was just trauma after a trauma , until I left home after I decided to leave at age of 15.

Listening from Chicago ❤❤❤ you ! Thank you !

I actually understand what your saying about them getting off on reactions,much appreciated 😎

Hi.Thank you...And OH DEAR''For the affected ,and the ones beiing affected//What a mes..My gentle love to you all.

We LOVE you Richard!!!!!! Thanks for all your hard work and sharing this info with us and helping us deal with these people.

Watching from New Zealand 🇳🇿

I found this video very informative about NPD .Thank you so much for explaining very clearly and which is scientifically correct.

Yesterday I watched Talented Mr. Ripley and now watching this Richard’s summary

Thank you very much for your work and compassion!

One of the best at talking about NPD . This information is GOLDEN

The person I know could not and would not watch horror films; ride roller coasters; and slept all throughout the day. Now I know why he was so exhausted...all the lying, living a fake life and hyper vigilance made him really tired.

Great video! For me there was nothing to find out, I could tell all of this already, from the very first interaction, however long ago it was and even when somebody starts to lean into developing a narcissistic personality if they weren't one before. As someone who grew up very quiet, being observant is like my middle name. It's effortless and very easy to read people, good people and bad. I have had my fair share of narcissism directed my way and everything you said is on point. I see them watching and copying me even though they act like I am insignificant. However much they think people rate them, I know they believe I rate them way more way more than I actually do, and that is not at all. The very decision they make to obsess over you just to hurt you shows that you are all they think about which is in itself, ironic.

You are so wise!! Amazing insight and spot on!! ❤

Great content video Richard!!

Hello from New York City🍎

You're an amazing person Richard, I'm incredibly grateful for the content that you've been producing. I previously thought I was going insane and that the whole world is out to get me type thing but now that I've become aware of narcissism it makes all the sense in the world. They are the energy vampires people talk about. I think it is brave of you that you are outgoing about your sexuality, I personally don't think it's a matter of black-and-white gay or straight type scenario that there is a huge spectrum of different sexual preferences and dispositions. I consider myself mostly heterosexual, but bisexual under specific conditions. But I have found it not an easy thing to be on but about or share with people without misunderstandings or something like judgment. You're a great man and I'm grateful to have come across you and your work. It's funny that I get the impression that these narcissist or not even human and the same way I am if that makes sense. I am an empathic sigma infj so to me these a narcissist sociopaths and psychopaths seem like literal demons

When we were in Versailles we went up the baack stairs from the farden, and he asked where the vench eent in- a orop from the nivue "Desirëe" from Disney😊

Watching from Canada!

You're a beautiful soul btw. Watching from NY

Oooo I connected and have a label for the thin skin hysterical aspect for my narcissist now.

Great video. Very true

Hi Richard! i am in Porto. Thank you both for bringing the vision of what we could learn from the sense of community of many indigenous people and how that relational glue supports both the group and the individue.

I find all of those truths you bought out(& I have experienced them) hheartbreaking...I understand we need to really get to know someone now....But very deep within me,I feel sorry fir them and their twisted view of others... And I am in massive debt as a disability pendioner( physical)..,was physically abused...But because I know 1 was narcissistically parentally abused...and the othe literally abused as a refugee...I just feel for them... And ,No...I no longer have contact with either,but I care... I still care in the sense of what made them the way they are... It breaks my heart... I forgive 100%.. But yes..keep away.... Honestly this planet needs healing... Thank you...I apologise about spelling errors...It is spinal damage..I actually can spell well... Thank yourself and all others for the work you do...😊

NZ Rasta here ❤️❤️💛💛💚💚

اخوة بالرضاعة ❤❤❤ I’ve lived in Saudi and this man is 100% on point

watching from california!