👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Happy for you ❤️

Happy for you

I broke off my 14years friendship..."they said I just harrassed myself by talking to them, they were never bothered about me" If there is no selfworth we should always move on. U deserve much better than u give. Future beholds greater opportunities and happiness. Don't give up❤❤.

Iam also

So that friend is bad no matter what?

I don't think simply asking if your friend is toxic means that it's true. I think everyone should ask this of every relationship they're in. That does not automatically make every relationship toxic, it just means you're willing to examine the all relationships you're in.

I agree!!! I've been friends with this female since college. I always knew she had her flaws of being uppity and condescending at times but she had my sense of humor (which is hard to come by) and liked to party just like me. So it didn't bother me too much back then. However, now that those days are long gone, I noticed how much her ways really bother me and I get angry at myself for the times that I didn't put her in her place, especially while in college. This is especially true since the pandemic because I've had nothing but time to really reflect and be in tune with my true feelings........and my feelings towards her are that I'm happier when I go long periods of not talking to her. I actually have been cringing when her number comes up on my phone for the past decade. I don't know how to completely end it though because she was there for me for 2 very major things that happened in my life. For one of those things, if it weren't for her my entire life would have gone down a really dark parh. So she has some good qualities but the bad ones seem to always replay in my mind. Also, as we've gotten older, she's not as bad as back; probably because she has been humbled by falling on hard times financially and being dumped and disrespected by so many men over the years. Maybe her hard times are her karma. Plus, I'm the only person she confides in about these bad things, so maybe that's God's way of letting me see her get payback.

Yes! I feel toxic when I'm with that friend, if the person makes me feel like this isn't a good sign

Needed to read this... thank you 🙏

They only need your cash to spend!

Thats because they weren’t your friends they were your coworkers. Whenever something big happens like job loss that’s when you find out who your real friends are.

❤️🧡 You got this! It hurts, but it truly makes us stronger, and helps us choose better in the future.

Should have saw the signs, I been caught like but once I started noticing she was funny when I asked for some things I knew it was time to give her the boot

I experienced the same thing But, when people come into your life, i think that we have to make an assessment asap and understand that we have "friends", but most people are probably "associates". Therefore, we can safely treat and respect each category of relationships for what they are. This way we can avoid getting hurt by the "associate" who really isn't your "friend". And, by making your assessment, you can avoid the narcissists as well. We have to realize that people have the right to be an "associate", one who doesn't want to go any deeper, regardless of how much you do for them. And, we have to accept their right to make that choice concerning you. Ugh. That hurts but that's TRUTH. For some, your I. Q. is what they cannot handle. Instead of embracing your talents and giftings, they envy and resent them in you. The Bible speaks of covetousness. Some people want to have your talents but not do the work that gains the respect that you have earned. Essentially, some might want or wish that they are YOU! Sounds crazy and it is crazy but also TRUE. And, you are constantly frustrated with their behavior. Sometimes, you can't see it or if you do, you do NOT want to believe it! The problem is that there are MANY people like that who are "low level thinkers". They will NEVER accept you even if your I. Q. isn't that far from theirs. So, this is my suggestion: Don't boot EVERYONE out of your LIFE. Instead, right down the individual's name (in code). Using the list provided here and any other info you have, make an assessment and determine if this is a friend or not. Do this with everyone in your life presently and as you develop relationships in the future. Now, treat everyone according to their individual categories. That's it. YOU have to do this fo YOU. This way you won't get into arguments, or experience disappointments, for example, with an "associate" that you assumed was a friend. Society is more and more selfish today. That's why TRUE friends are hard to come by. But, when you already KNOW somebody is really an associate, then YOU set YOUR boundaries to protect yourself. You may be around that person frequently. Just remember it's really a cordial relationship that's superficial and not deeply personal because they may OR may NOT be there for you. This is why cutting people out of your LIFE totally isn't necessarily a good thing. They just might come through at a time when no one else can. So, see it for what it is. Set YOUR boundaries to protect yourself. And, enjoy the associates in your life. When a true friend does surface, don't cut the associates off. This is LIFE. It's not perfect because people aren't perfect- none of us are. Now, the narcissist is a different story because in certain relationships with them, it can be hurtful and even dangerous. So, keep a mile long distance with that person. I hope this helps. GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY!🕊🛐🕊

I agree!!! I've had a lot of time to relect on my friendships since this pandemic and it's refreshing; yet a bummer to realize what I've known all along...........that I should've cut them off or at least, check them on many things that I let slide. Also, since I always had a small circle, I realized that without them, maybe I never really had REAL friends. IDK. One of my friends is this female that I've known since college. I always knew she had her flaws of being uppity and condescending at times but she had my sense of humor (which is hard to come by) and liked to party just like me. So it didn't bother me too much back then. However, now that those days are long gone, I noticed how much her ways really do bother me and I get angry at myself for the times that I didn't put her in her place, especially while in college. This is especially true since the pandemic because I've had nothing but time to really reflect and be in tune with my true feelings........and my feelings towards her are that I'm happier when I go long periods of not talking to her. I actually have been cringing when her number comes up on my phone for the past decade. I don't know how to completely end it though because she was there for me for 2 very major things that happened in my life. For one of those things, if it weren't for her my entire life would have gone down a really dark parh. So she has some good qualities but the bad ones seem to always replay in my mind. Also, as we've gotten older, she's not as bad as back; probably because she has been humbled by falling on hard times financially and being dumped and disrespected by so many men over the years. Maybe her hard times are her karma. Plus, I'm the only person she confides in about these bad things, so maybe that's God's way of letting me see her get payback.

@@moonsyoungestsun6550 Yeah, none of this is easy. What I realized is, regardless of whom is in our lives, you can always have healthy boundaries, and it's never to late. By doing so, you put everyone around you in a predicament, to decide if they want to be in your life or not; in the end, the healthy ones stick around and the ones or are unhealthy either adapt or leave. We can base what people do or have done for us in our lives, but this should not determine how important they are to us which foreshadows or enables an unhealthy relationship. ; just because people may have tremendously helped us or even turned our life around, doesn't mean we should do anything to give back and nevertheless allow anything that is unhealthy. It's never too late to tell someone how you feel, and this is all it is. People can't handle this, and all we're doing is trying to be honest. But realize by doing so you are giving yourself permission to be your best version, what is true to you, and you do so responsibly.... which they may not realize....nor you.... that this is the healthiest and best way to contribute towards what is right. None of this is to have to do anything, we all find our comfort zone, but it is to realize that if we focus on our heart, how we feel, how can this ever be wrong? Healthy relationships are born out of discomfort. Not to say you must put yourself in uncomfortable situations, but it helps to know that it's ok to "let-go" once you realize this just isn't your cup of tea if the tea continues to be bitter and resentful, negative and unpleasant, there's only so much sugar or honey that can be added, and at the end of the day we know what kind of cup of tea we have. Allow discomfort with those who will be wiling to work with you, and you can do the same with those who aren't, but you will see the difference. It is truly an unhealthy relationship when we enable what feels wrong, make it seem normal, and make it seem like it is ok; healthy people work through this not against it, nor enable it.

Thanks!

Thnx

I gave up just before she got there evidently.

@@withgoddess1119 It’s good info! Give it another try when you can. :)

Yeay!!! Be happy and enjoy the lightness!!!

I have a similar problem. People love me until I want to have a deep discussion about life and how confusing certain things are to me. It's amazing how fast people run when they are asked to be supportive.

i hope you are doing good beautiful sending love and happiness from a stranger❤️

@@BelCantoLari I love your positive take on it!!! I just started getting into being my own best friend after I realized how much my so called friends disappoint me or just get on my nerves. We're in different states and when I'd talk to them I'd feel exhausted and need several weeks or months to go by before talking to them again. So I can imagine if we were close by and doing things in person, how exhausted I'd be. So I figured that since I seem to be happier by myself than when I talk to them, I should go with that feeling and do more things with "me". Sometimes having a circle of friends is not what it's cracked up to be.

I think many people have no clue how they "come across" to others. Relationships are "equitable", give and take. If people do not realize the basic aspects of friendship or relationships, this is on them. Some friends are ALWAYS right, no matter what. Many do not accept any responsibility for mistakes or oversights made. Sometimes, you find yourself the only one calling them, and they never call you - unless they want something. Maybe it's different for guys ? But I might think this is true for most people.

Your attitude is exactly why I spent most of my life putting up with abuse. Of course there are toxic people. Lots of them

@@loriolson1143 I understand where you are coming from. I have met a lot of people and few of them became my friends but when I look back at the people who I thought were toxic were mostly using their defense mechanisms. That is not to say that I would want a friendship with them but I wouldn't call them toxic. Out of all the people I have met, only a small percentage could be labelled as toxic. I don't know, maybe I just got lucky with having great people in my life. I have seen the best and the worst of people. Most of us lie somewhere in the middle. In my comment I never asked people to put up with abuse. I asked them to take initiative and communicate and if it doesn't work then to end the friendship since it is useless.

@@doctorartphd6463 Well, that is exactly what I said. If you communicate properly and even then there is no change then it's time to end the friendship. There is a difference between ending a relationship and labelling a person toxic. It is a very big word. We need to be very selective about who we call toxic because we are not perfect and that can lead to false judgment. I have seen people label a simple behavior of being assertive and I mean truly assertive as toxic just because they would rather be a pushover . Toxicity is a very subjective word that is why we need to use it wisely.

@@sirmadam8183 thank you. Aloha 🌺

Slowly cut off communication until everything becomes silent. Or if you’re brave enough and wants her to know that you CLEARLY want nothing to do with her anymore, just tell her directly and never look back or respond again.

Going deep to me means: exploring traumas of the past and goals for the future, talking about not just the good things that are happening in life but also the struggles, engaging in conversations about "taboo" topics like politics and religion, disclosing bad habits or pet peeves, holding each other accountable. Basically opening up your heart and sharing insight into who you are as a person, instead of staying surface level and sticking to small talk topics like TV shows and the weather.

Hi I often say To know me is to love me. I too am great at having and keeping aqutansis. Now that I love , approve of myself am good . The friends I do have has taken the time to love me enough to stick around and as a result I have forged 3 deep lasting friendship one of them so happens to be my daughter, yes , you can develop close bond friendship with your parents , child , children , siblings in all. Friends are not limited to strangers or non blood relative. Perhaps you do have more friends than you count. Those who loves you enough are ENOUGHT to count as FRIENDS

in the end, you have to face it all alone. don't show your deepest self. no one cares and thats alright.

You can turn on subtitles

I can understand, and disagree with your opinion. Maybe your brain is malfunctioning.

What???????

🤨

That's mean