Such wisdom. I wish I had said it this way in the video.

Very accurate explanation, Kelly. The covert will baffle you the most and by doubting him you will doubt yourself even more.

It certainly is .

Completely on point. My truth is always questioned so that I can't be on top.

Exactly! They lie so much that they believe their lies.

Yes, they tell you what you want to hear so that they fit you into their narrative, which is always shifting in order what they need from you. And when you ask them about, you never get a clear answer because they sidestep, give you wordsalad etc. They are massive avoiders. And that gives you fog in your brain. 🙄🥴 Wishing you a restful evening, Amanda 🤗💕

​@@roxymovie3938Word Salad indeed 🤗

I believe it except in my alcoholic covert narcissist sisters case - she doesn’t even tell me anything that I would even want to hear simply because it’s always complete nonsense anyways. She’s ridiculous enough to not even try to convince me of anything because she already knows she never could or ever will. Typically I get more rational responses and gestures from my dogs than from her.

@Kingdom_of_God777 That's true also. More often than not I would sooner have pets than people! Take care 🙏

@@amandaliverpool3374 Amen to that 🐶and I hope / pray the same for you!

You make sense.

My husband actually said to me these words “it’s all about power and control “

I'd say disown the demonic narc. I have. You must save yourself before you go mad! You don't want to end up like them ♥️🙏

OMG! You described my sister to a T. Always lies about the past and always makes herself out to be the hero when she was actually the most rebellious child. Thank You!

Exactly right. Arguing with a delusional person is pointless

@@dirceucavendish888 Except for the narc, who loves drama and the search for power and control!

Amen and very true. As the other said about arguing with a delusional person - you cannot reason with a completely unreasonable person - and in fact in my personal opinion and experiences is hardly human at all anyways so do not bother communicating with them on a human level. It is absolutely 100% impossible.

I'm greatly pleased I get to contribute to the growth of others. Thank you.

Think of how many are healing from narcissists. Imagine if only that small % of narcissists mentioned yesterday are healed and can face the truth. That is a huge win. The best kind of work to strive for.

These narcissistic individuals do so much damage to their victims, and if the victim is unable to escape, the victim's life is ruined.

Idk tho

I would ONLY wish this on my worst enemy ... the narcissists. This is an angry statement and forgiveness is really for yourself - your healing. A majority of these people will never face the truth behind the wall they've built and the wicked tactics they choose to use and unfortunately will never change.

Excellent assessment! They are hiding from who they are.

I'd agree with this. Problem is that hot potato is a heavy burden for their children. There is near zero openness in my family, it's very uncomfortable

You explained to me exactly what my younger brother has been doing to me ( & others) his entire adulthood. It makes so much sense to me now. Thank you.

Yeah well I’m a 5”3 woman and they’ve behaved nothing short of psychopathic to me. It’s not fair that they won’t carry their own share. And try to displace all their shame onto me. I take the shame for my deeds. Why can’t they?

You so get it, Roxy!

Subtle gaslighting is the worst. I didn't realize it was abusive even if I felt something is wrong. An ex-coworker of mine was very good at this.

@@yukio_saito yes, Yukio, I agree with you that subtle manipulation is indeed the worst. Like you I felt there was something wrong but I did not know why.

@@roxymovie3938 They make you feel you are wrong. In fact they are wrong.

@@yukio_saito Thank you, Yukio. That's it, exactly.

So accurate, Fred.

Exactly. My ex even said he doesn't know what makes him happy because he never felt happy in his life. Sometimes he said he feels empty inside. I thought for a long time it was depression, only to learn the hard way.

Sounds like the Eeore" syndrome. Is what I like to call it. Thedonkey from Winnie the Pooh.

Everything is WONDERFUL! that’s today! yesterday - I feel as though I don’t have any friends left! SO - what to believe when you’re friends with a covert narcissist? neither! The jump from poor me to grandiose successful is so deceptive , just back off for your own sake!

I'm glad he's past tense.

@@SurvivingNarcissism well they fake future build. I now think he had no intention of every marrying me. It is hard to know exactly what his motivations were.

Which is a strong clue that you were right.

Public angel, private demon.

@@SurvivingNarcissism this ☝️

Yes, like we don't exist, or can do no right. I grew up with that; couldn't wait to grow up and move out. I ended up marrying one. We can divorce a spouse, but I got stuck caring for my elderly father which is making me miserable. I need to learn to set boundaries. I hope you are doing well.

I hope you find a way to not have to take care of your elderly abusive father. You owe you peace and freedom. You owe him nothing

Yes indeed, narcissists have to start small and work their way up with each new person they meet, testing you at every step to see just how much they can get away with.

The "little" and "white" lies and the half truths are never ending.

It has been helpful to recall past incidents where I missed a sibling's passive-aggressiveness and sly put-downs. Enlightening, and motivation to set and use better boundaries!

Oh yes! I've been detective lately on stuff from 2017 when I was apparently lied to. More recent my gut led me to question some things more recent & yes he was lying as well as texting some women. Now I look back on those 2027-2019 yrs and question soo many like you. Memories of outlandish things.

I completely understand! After all these years I am still learning of new deceptions! This is all from someone who supposedly cares! It is a huge betrayal. Is it no wonder we go through so much from this type of abuse! Sending you hugs!

The casual dishonesty, and that cold desire to see your squirm....., yes, they come from another world.

I'm so sorry. My son's malignant narcissist is waiting for me to die, as quickly as possible.

It’s impossible to be with someone who lies constantly. If you prove one lie untrue they counter with ten more. My ex left me suicidal.

@@dahliafiend Several years ago I heard that the nicest guy from high school committed suicide. I was stunned, as were many others who knew him over the course of his life. I ran into someone who knew his brother and the reason was that he had been in a protracted custody battle with a crazy woman ....I think NA is linked to more suicides than anyone would ever guess and MH professionals are clueless.

Sad to hear of your story, I found 100% of Dutch Child Protective Services to be covert narcissists. Who thoroughly enjoyed watching my wife and I squirm while they continually extended his completely unjustified removal from home. That was until I intervened and fled with my child and wife to Poland, which has a functioning rule of law.

I agree 💯 % with you . They are creatures . Evil creatures .

Definitely Sub human, an odd variation, a mutation, we need an Alert to avoid them.

I believe this!

They are the satanic virus

Indeed

It's very sad.

🎯💯

I know this all too well. 😢

Most of the time the victim is not believed. I

Yes Angel, you called it when you said the real children are the losers. Many times they don't survive. My narcissist alcoholic father decided he could raise us better than a mother who loved me and my older sister by boarding us out with abusive strangers. My sister became a narcissist and dealt me untold suffering from which I have suffered my entire life from age 3 to 80. They are all deceased now but the damage lives on. I still consider me the lucky one because they all died miserable. As for me, I am a contented hermit. I have found a beautiful peace because when I see a narc now I usher them out the door and close it behind them.

I understand not being competitive. I'm the same way, I just enjoy the game being played with the other person. It's an interesting feeling when your just enjoying yourself while the other person is just dying to win at all costs lol.

@@ruckerbrady8342 There is a difference between being competitive and needing to win at all costs. I've been competitive all of my life. There is a time and place for it. To be competitive is about bettering yourself through competition to see how you stack up and where you need to improve. The win-at-all-costs "competitiveness" is psychopathy, where one will outright cheat and use any other greasy tactic in order to prevail. Competition is healthy. Win at all costs is psychopathy.

Exactly 💯

I think their mouth just makes things up after they feel something, the mouth isn't really clued in, it doesn't know what's going on and just confabulates stuff. It's a bit like Anton-Babinski syndrome where someone who is blind will insist they can see and make up excuses against any evidence that shows they are blind.

Stop fooling yourself. They are 100% capable of self reflection! That's what makes it so easy to play YOU.

@@AllanI3374 When I think of self reflection, I think of it as a contemplative state in which one considers who they are, how they interact with others and why they do the things they do. I consider it a healthy thing that gives us an opportunity to learn and grow as moral human beings. In my experience, that is not what narcissistic individuals do. I’m certainly not an expert though, and I’m open to learning. I hope you’ll take the time to elaborate on your comment.

“garbage in, garbage out.”🪡

So pleased to be on the journey with you! I wish for you the best.

Take care, I was abused in a church by two narcissistic pastors and their wives. The shane, self-blame, ostracism and so on led me to be suicidal, having c-PTSD, los self-esteem and so on. Thank God I know now but I habe to work in myself.

My Doctor can bring, life to great let's be normal, I'm trying,

At last we know now as Yeshua has declared to be protected from wolves in lamb s disguise. I suffer from my own husband and minister that no one can see though I have daid to some about the behaviour. I follow God not him I never listen to his speech after I found out his covert disorder. I know I have be narcissist resistant and I have dismantled much of my own ways so as to enjoy my freedom with friends that he cannot have access in fellowshiping whatsoever. God bless you and press on God is faithful to us ​@@chanteynk7324

My father groomed myself and my siblings since we were kids to feel sorry for him. He was the “cult leader” so to speak. When my mother and him divorced, it forced my mom to move away and go back to school and he didn’t like that we wanted to go with her! He made her life hell and would say things about my mom just enough to made us kids feel angry and resentful towards her. Fast forward to just recent (I’m 32) I had my own experiences with my father, started to study up narcissistic abuse and realize my dad is an abusive and evil man. We have zero contact as of right now. I finally see what my mother put up with! Keep your integrity, and eventually I believe the children will see through the ex husband! 💕

@@Heaveniswaitingforyou Thank you for this; I’m so relieved for you and your Mom! But does this mean your poor Mom went ten to twenty years or more without you and your siblings? Because although I know my own life has value beyond just my kids, I REALLY don’t want to wait more than a few years for them to figure it out. I still have one daughter in school, and I don’t want to miss her graduation. I also know it’s completely out of my control.

@@theladyamalthea oh sorry I don’t think I was clear! We stayed with my mom for most of the time! I went and lived with my dad at age 17 and graduated and then he abandoned me. But I see how that time with him, helped confirm even more why he’s a covert narcissist. I wrote him a letter recently but he could care less. I’ll be praying for you and your family, 🙏💕 it’s so hard when we deal with pure evil! I feel a lot of empathy for you because it’s so hard when the person you married was supposed to be who they portrayed!

@@theladyamalthea Also I wanted to share this memory from when I was 12. My dad and my grandparents emotionally abused us for days before my mom came back from a trip. My dad planned to tell my mom he wanted a divorce and that he was taking us kids. I knew the whole time that something deep down was wrong. I didn’t want to believe that my mom was evil. My mom held her integrity and didn’t yell and scream and throw things like they said she would. She was weeping and said she loved us. It was incredibly traumatic looking back because my dad was cold and didn’t comfort any of us kids the whole time. So this is the part that gets me every time I think about it. I heard a clear audible voice tell me to go with my mother! I believe this was Gods voice. So I did and my dad and grandparents were soo angry with me. But I went with my mom. My dad drained the joint bank account and he took away the car because it wasn’t in her name. I look back in disgust at that. I’m just so thankful that God helped me get strong enough to stop excusing his behaviour! And it took a long time but it happened! And my brother is starting to see some things too. Praying my sister is next. Evil doesn’t win in the end 💕🙏

@@Heaveniswaitingforyou So my husband’s parents paid for plane tickets for the kids to come visit them for a week. I thought, “How nice!” They spent that week grooming the kids and talking trash about me. When the kids came back, all of them were extremely cold towards me, and I didn’t know why. But when we sat them down and told them we were separating, not one of them wanted to come live with me. A bit later, one of my brothers told me what had happened while the kids were visiting. He is the only one who believes me about my husband being abusive. Even my own parents sided with the abusive b@stard. So I haven’t seen my kids in almost 5 months now. I completely agree with you that God spoke to you when he told you to go with your mom, but apparently he didn’t speak to my kids. Or if he did, they ignored him. My kids have come to believe that I have lied to them about many things, that I am seriously mentally unstable, and that I am a danger to be around. I just don’t see how I will be able to convince them otherwise when they don’t want to see me or talk to me much. I text each of them about once a week, but I get ignored half the time.

That's amazing...in a not so good way.

Yes, 🎯 they use trickery and are cunning. They detest the desire for honesty. That is when one first alerts their radar, threat incoming.

Yes, Yukio, you are avsolutely right: when you feel something is wrong, there is something indeed wrong. 🙏💛🙏

I have run into this from four very damaged people, three of whom were very close to me. One is no contact, and I am gray rocking 2 until I die and they are too dense to understand. I just do a verbal 2 step with them for a half hour per week, and they think there is a relationship.

It's best just to listen.

Yes, it's their reality 😮‍💨

It's enough to drive someone crazy. 🤦‍♀️

This is perplexing. My father was not with his sister when they took her off the life support. They asked if he wanted them to wait for him. I don't know if he was told by my mother. We had just returned from seeing her. The hospital would wait for us to drive there the next morning. He said just the other day that he was with his sister when she passed. I don't know if my mother told him that. When he describes it, he describes their goodbye. Ultimately this must be all he can handle? It feels so odd for the family not to correct him. Other family members were there. If he was corrected he might become very upset at not remembering. So is he told or is it in his mind?

🎯 exactly!

I'm of the opinion as I've reached "old" age, that the less you share with other people until you've properly vetted them is the best way to get through life in peace.

And I found those that were the data collectors to bring it back up when most damage could be caused!!

Excellent ❤

@@susanparker9877 Thank you ❤

@@roxymovie3938 👩‍🎨🐕🐕

Yup. The humble-brag.

I think you're right. I had a "friend" that would cry in the "right " situation but it Always felt odd. I was like this isn't genuine to myself. I could tell she was trying to manipulate my emotions. Tears came and went so suddenly after I didn't budge.

Narcissists (in all their glorious sub-clinical manifestations) have a pronounced poverty in their capacity for self-reflective insight. Finding a person on the narcissistic spectrum of personality who can not only introspect -- but actually identify their emotional motivation driving a self-destructive reaction to external stimuli...almost unheard of. To form a thematic connection to his alcoholic father, than express that to you in a way that places him in the negative light...it's being vulnerable and honest (and something that all narcissists share, is their deep loathing for vulnerability and honesty...in fact, most would literally rather die that EVER be truly vulnerable...most can't even be honest with themselves; thus the root of their disorder). That sounds more like your standard addict behaviour. The personal attacks against you are more likely a defense mechanism to avoid feelings of shame in him. (something addicts and narcissists DO share in common) You kinda have to ask yourself: Why would anyone like him would be using substances such as drugs, sex, alcohol etc. despite knowing first hand how those life choices are slowly destroying not only him, but everyone he loves and cares about around him? (acknowledging his first-hand experience with an alcoholic father) It's to escape. To avoid emotions he doesn't know what to do with. That's why emotions are his addiction trigger. Maybe you can see how "Anytime I wanted to talk about how he hurt me" is going directly at his soft spot and thus, invoked all of those (toxic - borderline abusive) defense mechanisms? The human brain attempts to deal with overwhelming experiences by trying to protect us (defense mechanisms). When you do directly at a sensitive subject like that you're cornering someone and demanding they unearth all their buried traumas. Emotional subjects that were avoided so intensely because of a lack of safety in dealing with them directly. Sometimes people choose to self-medicate with a "crutch" of some sort. We call addictions "crutches" because people use them to cope with life when they're really struggling. Eventually anything becomes a habit, but those underlying issues they were struggling with never truly go away. For addicts to do deep stuff like that...they first have to work on healing their lives to a point where they no longer feel the need to use their crutch of choice just to live. For him that sounds like being addicted to fantasy. Fantasies where he's confident, physically desired, charismatic, and pretty much anything but vulnerable and unhappy. Alcohol and stuff are simply emotional devices used to facilitate that fantasy for him. It's ironic how sometimes we can think someone we struggle to understand is a narcissist because they aren't _honestly_ SEEING or HEARING us (because they don't care enough to empathize or seek to understand where we're coming from mentally and consider how things might affect us) -- only to later realize that we in our pain/unresolved issues, failed to empathize with them as we expected them to do for us. While I can't say that "everyone" has narcissistic traits and/or features in their personality inventory (well over 90% of all humans do). I can say that narcissism is present in varying shades and severities in nearly everyone. Is it possible that in the depths of your pain, you may have projected some of your own emotional content onto him? Perhaps because you couldn't get the emotional resolution you wanted and expected from him, so you may have (subconsciously) branded him a "narcissist" as a way of trying to give yourself that feeling of closure? Narcissism is a self-protective aspect of human personality and the mindset tends to take over whenever our deepest selves are psychologically wounded; to the point where we struggle to heal the damage. _(thus narcissistic delusions of grandeur, persecutory delusions, black and white thinking, psychological projections, validation seeking behaviour, using "sob stories" to garner attention and sympathy, denial, blame shifting, rationalizations/justifications, defensiveness, a need to be right, a need to FEEL superior, smear campaigns against a person that hurt you, a dismissive attitude, lack of empathy, inability to separate personal feelings from objective facts, exhibiting increased ego-dysyntonic traits, magical thinking, a fear of being vulnerable, fear of rejection or ridicule, need for approval, silent treatment, a desire to humiliate or lower someone else [aka ego-sadism], self-righteousness, feeling entitled to treat someone badly because you feel personally victimized; thus a lack of remorse etc.)_ I sincerely hope I was able to provide some serious food for thought and perhaps self-reflection on the often messy relational dynamics between addictions and narcissistic personalities.

So much projection and self deception! See you shortly at the live feed! I really appreciate how you encourage the rest of #TeamHealthy.

And this is after 8.5 years? 😣

@@t_nels She left at the end of July 2015. No contact on her side, I tried to contact for a couple months (until I understood), then stopped altogether. Divorce (from her) became final in August of this year. She’s remarried now, I hear.

@@aaronkwolfe I guess there is no getting away from it, as long as your family is involved. It is all encompassing. Even with radical acceptance it isn't going to stop the damage to all. I'm not seeing how to stop the bleeding. It is a very evil attack.

@@aaronkwolfe I know the situation is totally different. How does going NC help in a situation like mine where it's a parent? At this point I feel like I just need to know the hard truth.

took me 22 years as co parent...thinking he was a dick, inconsiderate, irresponsible etc, but worse when i realised last year, he was (as hard to say, as quite confident but) i believe more covert, as to the damage done not just to me as i practically lost everything, but to 'our now adult son, who i feel has been in part, alienated from me, thinking as he got older, he would understand that his father wasn't supportive, caused so much havoc, wasn't there for him, but somehow has been elevated to the good guy???, i am dumbfounded...even now struggling with housing, his lack of genuine empathy, (i am pretty strong) as to my situation...its a killer, so obvious....but reading about parent alienation/flying monkeys it is very sad that people are manipulated despite the contrary...i feel ripped off the bond my son and i had was severed many years ago... I don't blame him as i believe he wanted his fathers approval, love whatever, subconconsiously taking his side, and in a way, despite the past 'trauma', I feel sorry for his father who was an A plus student, decent family etc but hasn't amounted to anything, living in his hole of a place...exhausting to put on this well versed act day in day out...what can you do...pick up the pieces, and soldier on. PS. As i like many have watched, researched this disorder, have been 'unlucky' to have three now NPD...all covert landlords who happen to lease out their 'granny flat', so they too living there...man they're everywhere, now in a space where landlord is decent...like one should be...funny too I think my 'dear ol mum' was too, kicked me out when i was 15....loved her so much, but it wasn't reciprocated...so much damage caused...so pervasive and prevalent in our society...no wonder it is sick.

I'm in your exact situation sir. Well, I'm still trying to get her out of my home.

It took me 30 years to see through an ex-friend is a covert one. 😮‍💨

It took me 35 years to see through the mask of my sister in law whose smear and clandestine bullying campaign almost took me to suicide and still everyone felt sorry for ‘poor’ her. I feel you

I hope your children are doing well I feel your pain

True narc

Pleased!

Same for me Dr C

No, narcissism = dishonesty. But indeed: when is enough enough?! I can tell you from experience going no contact is a delight. I’ve distanced myself 3 years ago. And soon completely. I’m looking forward to it. The most difficult thing for me was the worry ‘what would other people/outsiders think of me’? But that is just the old programming to make me feel guilty and get me back in the place of the scapegoat. Get yourself free. Don’t look behind. Jump into the unknown. EVERYTHING IS WAY BETTER THAN STAYING around these emotionally distorted persons, family or not. You didn’t ask for this kind of family. Why would you stay? Find out what your core values and boundaries are and stay put! 👊🏻

Yep! I had to walk away. Protect your heart and your peace.

I have distanced for nearly a decade - even moving a couple hundred miles away. As the narc in my life now faces fading physical beauty and has begun daily drinking, their behavior has become a non-negotiable. Appreciate your input 💜

Thank you 💜

@@gypsyfaded5907they do, right?! If a person doesn’t deal with trauma it will become harder to ignore it when he/she gets older, because their strength is declining. So also physical can’t get ‘the ball’ of trauma under water; it costs too much energy. My sister has 2 autoimmuundiseases, my brother stage 4 cancer of the bladder and drinking too much as well. All I have to do is self protection to not get dragged into their abyss with them. Great you could physically move away from them. That helps a lot, i presume

Gail, So we'll said. That is it in a nutshell.

That really describes it so well.

She's playing victim

Has she blamed her entire life on you? Mine did. I was blamed for her getting fired, family problems, causing a fracture in the family. Apparently I have this huge power in everything 😂

@@michelerunyon9593 Not quite. I haven't seen her in 14 years as I refuse to meet with her husband who has also been abusive towards me, so it was always two against one. Because I won't meet with him she won't meet with me and has even accused me of bullying him! I offered family therapy but she absolutely refused. Just wants everything on her terms. So I'll probably never see her again. She's almost 80 now. Has bullied me all my life.

And the older they get the worse they get.

Counterfeiters.

And then the Bible says we're supposed to pray for our enemies.😮 How do you pray about the devil yuck!

❤

Why are people trying to be nice to me? They are apologizing and buying my children’s gifts. They know that I hate gifts. What’s the point? I’m okay without being with them or talking to them. I wish they stop calling me and coming over my house unannounced. I am busy doing absolutely nothing. 🎯

You’re quite welcome

So true

You like to play with fire you😂😂😂... Love it, though! Good.

You are very welcome

Therapists are just another con game to a narcissist

You're literally talking about my ex! He would be often saying how happy he is he turnt out this well considering how broken his family was, and how he was so much better person than all his siblings. Constantly complaining how he struggles with his manipulative lying mother. Turned out he was much worse.

@@ivizz100 Seriously, it's like they tell you what they plan to do, but fake disapproval. Maybe to see how you react. You just don't expect people to be that cruel.

That's all John Williams talks about is his son and nephew who he lives with cuz he lost his home got evicted didn't believe the letters thst CAME. - HE came to my house after started a bon fire in my backyard. I think he thought I was gonna have open arms to stay at my house- hell no cuz I was onto him already- fire left unattended came in started arguing with me over something stupid- HE went out I heard a bang got up from. What I was doing. He had pulled my hose so hard pulled pipes apart down stairs- fire spread to neighbors - noone hurt not alot damage. Melted siding. But my neighbors got 15,000$ in damages from my home OWNERS- YOU THINK HE SAID SORRY OR APOLOGIZE OR HAD ANY GUILT?? NO HE SAID I YELLED FOR YOU AND YOU DIDN'T COME OUT AND WHY DIDNT YOU CONE OUT AND SIT WITH ME WITH THR FIRE???WHAT?? I HAD MY OWN THING I WAS DOING. HE CAME OVER AFTRR GETTING EVICTED STARTED CHOIS AT MY HOUSE TRIED BLAME ME. THE FUK- HE A REAL NARCISSIST - AFTER SEEING THESE VIDEOS IIT TOOK ME YEARS TO FIGURE THIS OUT. THR LIES THE LITTLE WHITE LIES HE YELLS AT HIS DAUGHTER ABOUT I YELLED APPLE DIDNT FALL FAR FROM TREEE. HE IS A RACIST SAYS N WORD WHICH I HATE. I CALLED HIM A RACIST AFTER HE USED IT AGAIN- HE LOOKED ME IN THE EYES SAID IM NOT A RACIST WITH A STRAIGHT FACE - MY ARMY GUY WAS BLACK FRIEND SAME STORY DIFF DAY- ALWAYS HAS SAME STORIES NOTING EVRR CHANGES. AND YES HE FEEDS OFF OTHERS THEN USES IT AGAINST YOU IF YOU OPEN UP TO HIM AS I DID I TOLD HIM SHIT I NEVER TOLD NO-ONE ELSE HE USED AGAINST ME LATER. THEN HIS TRUCK FLAT TIRES - HE BLAMED ME. OMG IM 53 REALLY?? NOTHING IS HIS FAULT NOTHING EVER. AND HES IMMATURE CANT HANDLE SERIOUS MOMENTS HE CHECKS OUT- LIES SAID OH MY PHONE WENT ON AIRPLANE MODE YEA OK azz

This channel and other resources will help you. Don't give up!!

Yep!

Yep..and the Sadistic ways they derive their Pleasures from our Pain. Sheer evil.

You are so welcome

Narcissists "are" being themselves. This includes lying about who they are, gradually infringing on your boundaries to see how much you will tolerate, and on and on, until they are being themselves in private with you behind closed doors. They know how others react to their true selves, which is why they need a false mask in public, and why they seek out those who will offer the least resistance and judgement to their abuse, little by little until you are trapped. "By its fruit you shall know the tree." The whole process from beginning to end, for their lifetime. Narcissists "are" being themselves.

@@danielkaiser8971 Yes; it is important to be able to spot Red, Orange and Yellow Flags (degrees of deception and incongruence) in order to protect ourselves.

It’s weird how when we’re dealt with them we’re questionable our sanity! Meanwhile we now know it’s them who’s the Sick Puppy

@@cherobinson6371 I couldn't agree more 💯

It's natural to take on some of the traits of others you spend most of your time with. But if one of them is a narcissist and you are not, you take on things that ultimately make you feel miserable. It's not really surprising, good people with prosocial skills relate very well with each other when they do this, they build each other up. Not with people who are controlling and destructive. If anything good besides a life lesson learned comes out of this, it is probably the fact that once you get away from toxic people and situations and begin healing, you are able to lose the toxic influences and become a better version of your authentic self.

In my experience, at some level they know there is some form of scheming going on, but they are so habituated to being that way, they are beyond the point of caring. Rationalization has completely taken over.