This is a re upload of an older video. I've tried to improve the sound so hopefully it'll be a bit louder.

Interestingly, in some cases, flying monkeys are narcs themselves and assist their fellow narcs. Also, based on my personal experience with flying monkeys, they are just as worse as the narc and extend drama and misery for the victim.

"Flying monkeys is lying monkeys." Best thing I have heard today.

I didn’t realize how bad abuse was until I started researching Narcissistic abuse

Integrity, authenticity, assertiveness, self-respect, boundaries, no contact or low contact should starve the flying monkeys and their ring master. Thank you for your help and support Darren.

Flying monkeys usually will not ask you about the lies told them by the narcissist. Instead, they assume it is true and start watching you to see how you react almost like they're watching a movie and have popcorn. Or they will start making fun of you and laugh whenever you walk by or whenever you are in the same room as them.

I have to remind myself that it is not my problem that other people are fooled by the narcissist

I sometimes call them "narcissists by proxy," Darren. In my experience, they have far more disappointing than the narcissist.

Shut them down and live your best life full of fun, love, laughter and true friendship.

Just deal with them like you deal with any other criminal. - Yes, that mostly means, keep your distance and don't engage. If you make the mistake to talk with them, assume that everything gets recorded. - regardless if that's legal in your country.

I’ve done this more than once. Just staying calm and let them unravel and break apart. It’s so satisfying.

Silence is golden, and it works. Great videos! :)

I found the best way to handle them all is to cut them all off...it can be that simple. You end up finding out this idea of "everyone thinks so-and-so about you" can only to a specific group of people colluding against you. Chances are you probably know you need to cut them all off to be free.

They can destroy your life using these misguided people. The sociopath depends on your socialization, on your sense of decent behaviour. If you don't want to talk to them (for example), the flying monkeys are employed to help make you look insane, bad, etc.

This guy's brilliant. Soothing, relaxed and concise manner.

Thank you for your list of suggestions in coping with these misguided people. I have changed my opinion regarding politeness. I now belive that the teaching of social norms is a piece of our problem. I believe that I must always behave with civility, but I am reassessing the need to "be polite" with wicked people.

I regret talking to my enmeshed brother so much. I thought he would mediate. But he just went back to my parents and told them i was mad/bad/angry. He never said "all she did was tell you that you hurt her." It's too late to respond. I reacted. I know what really happened but it's tòo late.

Lastly, the narc wouldn't have power if flying monkeys didn't support them. It would be interesting if the flying monkeys naturally gravitated towards the narc's victims. Now, that would be refreshing. The naive flying monkeys should use discernment before taking sides with the narc to avoid abusing the target

One of my breakups ended with all our friends taking sides, even when I told them not to. One of them was actually what I thought was a friend of mine, and she sided with him and rejected me. very hurtful especially because of the surprise. Life goes on, I met another man, I left the city and I settled elsewhere. Ten years later, she called me to apologize for her behavior. She wanted to come back into my life, and of course, I refused. What good is a friend who betrays you when you need her the most? She just proved that she was never on my side and all the time I spent helping her when she was in the same situation was a waste of time. So you don’t have to talk to somebody you’re going to leave anyway. When you take sides in a breakup, you actually tell the person that you reject "I will never be a part of your life again". Don’t expect a return, and if you’ve made a mistake, accept it and learn your lesson so you don’t do it again. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one who loses someone worthy and helps someone unworthy.

Eventually, you don't and you can't! Sometimes they're more hostile/ toxic than the narcissist In the long run. BECAUSE ALL BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER!!

My biggest hurdle in trying to find a therapist that can help me recover from being raised by a psychopath is finding someone who doesn't justify the inaction of all of the grown ups that I grew up around. Every therapist I've tried has tried to make me the peace maker with all of the family members who didn't act. As if, no one in my family knew how dangerous my mom was to me. I need to take the high road. I need to be the forgiver. I need to start healing the relationships. Somehow, all of the therapists I've encountered thought my initiating the fixing of the problem with my mom's flying monkeys was the key to my recovery. This video in general gives me some peace, some brain calm about all of that. But there was one statement that stood out. When I was a kid I might have wondered how they didn't see what was going on but as an adult, I recognized comments from all of them that revealed they did know and just chose not to help me. The statement 'Chances are they knew as well' was such a breath of fresh air. It literally felt like a cool fall breeze had blown through my summer heated mind. I've been at the point of allowing those relationships not to burden me for a few years. It's not been easy. Having a knowledgeable grown up reinforcing my current process is a great respite. Thank you.

"Not my circus, and not my "monkeys"!!!

Thank you for for your advice, it's of great help. Unfortunately I do react and I need to stop, but I find this behaviour extremely frustrating

All these videos on narcissism are my stepson to a tee. I told my wife we will never live in the same town as he does, thankfully he lives in New York and we are in the Midwest. But if he ever moves here. I'm moving . I can't imagine being in our 80's and having him around...

Yes, thank you, this video was very helpful! One thing I've found with the coworkers (who are nobody's boss) that are constantly trying to control with questions like "...Did you do this...did you do that?", while you're busy trying to do your actual job; is to respond with a question, like you said. "Why do you ask?". Inevitably they respond with "Because I want to know!". At which point I just look at them and say "Interesting...". This seems to make them back off.

Absolutely .I have done this. I have held my dignity and integrity. However I will tell my story the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I suffered so much oppression that I have to share it. I have to warn others about these Narc tendencies and have them awaken to the trauma they are suffering. There are already flying monkeys in the world gossiping and back biting. I don't honestly care what is said or concocted in my name. I find decent people will make up there own minds. It's all the subter fuge and deceit and Plausability that the flying monkeys manifest that is produced and directed and scene set by the Narc they actually are in the web and in the Narcs spell and I will always be open and honest about the most dreadful experience of my life.

Thanks Darren, this is great! Yes, keeping ones integrity. Don't feed them. So much wisdom in everything shared here.

This is exactly what I needed to hear today as I just had an incident this week. Thank you for the validation, particularly the "they'll say you're ghosting." They *have* accused me of worse, so what's it matter that I'm not responding? Safety is priority.

I have a malignant narcissistic mother and a covert mother in law. Both matriarchs. I left my mother ( no more abuse for me) and she finally stopped interfering with my kids and husband. Now my MIL is still working on me. She wants to be in my business all the time. It's tiring to undo this generational pattern. I know in my case, it stems from Victorian England. All family members are put in competition with each other to see who is the best and gives the most to Mum.

Love the examples of questions and the suggestion to do ask questions as a management strategy!

I love the quote: "Flying monkeys are lying monkeys". Thanks for the video.

If I can I just cut them out completely, go no contact like I do the narcissist, they're not worth the hassle, if they're willing to be ignorant or cruel they are not worthy of being in my life.

Marvellous. Truly. 13 years on. Targeted, and I approached the situation just like this. It is a lot to work through. My integrity is intact. It has hurt. It has disappointed. It has lost me ‘fun time’ opportunities. It has ‘cost me friends’ (or were they friends?!!!! No, I have now understood). I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. But now, I feel, I wouldn’t change a thing. It actually has been more hurtful to experience the flying monkeys than the ‘abuser’ The abuser is dead. Flying monkeys continue. I’m me, and I’m intact. Praise God.

Thank you Darren for explaining it so eloquently and clear to us. I have starved the narcissists neighbour of supply, she has since moved overseas and has left a trail of crap behind, ie flying monkeys in my block.None of them speak to me anymore that I don't care as they aren't my cup of tea its what they are doing banging talking outside my balcony leaving dog faeces and it goes on!!! I try and be up beat but sometimes it's just so hard to keep up beat all the time. The trouble is what's coming next. The women narcissists has been knorring away at me for 4 long years!! How they are allowed to share this planet with us humans baffles me greatly!!

I just filed for divorce. His narcissist momma and 2nd exwife are flying monkeys lol. Blocked, deleted from my life. I deserve better than that!

4:34 - "Recognize when you're being provoked. Chances are you might be accused of having nothing to say, being hardly or whatever..so THEREFORE they must be right. you're being distant or whatever. You're ignoring them. blanking, or ghosting them. REMEMBER, YOU'RE ALREADY BEING ACCUSED OF WORSE! So be consistent!! Be assertive, not aggressive." Agreed! This is where you can grey-rock or challange their BS without becoming a "PET ROCK." *Kevin of The Royal We channel came up with this concept on a 'Grey Rock Is Stupid (How To Grey Rock)' video--and I think that video and this one of the best ones I've ever seen about the grey-rock concept (and I watched hundreds of hours of these videos as I went no contact one by one with my family of origin of the last few years). When to grey rock or not the grey-rock depends on the situation, for me. PS--I think it's really good that Darren talking about in this presentation how you do have to be assertive without being overly aggressive because some videos almost recommend laying down and giving no reaction being the end all/be all and I don't always agree with that.

The narcissists won’t reach out & apologise but they use these Sheeple (flying monkies) to retrieve you.

5:57 This is the most important thing. You can't have a rational conversation with some people completely loyal to narcissitic people. You have to realize you can't make them enforce boundaries or assert themselves for their own protection. You can't do it for them, either. They have to stand/leave and do it on their own.

So odd, I wish I had know this 20 years ago when my narcissistic wife had suffered narcissist collapse and was in the psych hospital. She trained the nurses, the drs, her attorney, relatives, school principals, neighbors, and even recruited the Child Protective Service to believe that I was an abusive monster. I feel like I was alone against an army. I was lucky in the end because all her claims were baseless and the children and I were freed of her toxic abuse. I wish that some healthcare professional had recognized her for what she was and my family didn’t have to go through that enormous strain.

I found you channel today, thank you for the information on how to deal with Flying Monkeys & The Narc. These people are hell and I have been dealing with them for years. It’s amazing how they always win people over by their disgusting lies. I have lost a few family members which has caused a great deal of pain for me, however I do realise now these particular members are lost in the Narcs web of lies so I have had to maintain a strict boundary. I have struggled how to treat these people & there is so much I want to say to them, but I know how I would look to them & others. Your advice sounds the most sensible of ‘ Keep one’s dignity’ so I will follow your advice & thank you very much for your wise words. 🙂

I wish i had understood this long ago. It would have saved my ear drums and nervous system. You present this very clearly.

1- Ego-Monsters Suck. 2- Flying Monkeys Are Suck-Ups. 3- Victims Have to Change Their Own Behaviors So Their Lives Won't Suck. Got it. Thanks, Doc. ✌️

I think the narc needs the flying monkeys and will try different people looking for the ones who will jump in. It's partly because the narc exerts so much energy creating the scenario that it's just easier to go along. Also, they get a nice bonding experience, united by having a shared objective. They don't care about the narc really and all these alliances will prove to be fickle. I hope exiting the scene takes all the fun out of it for them. Those are not people I want anything more to do with at all.

Can you make a video about how to deal with the pain of having a narcissistic mother, how to get past it

Flying monkeys are lying monkeys 🙊 😂 love this! Thank you 🙏🏽 ❤

I don’t think quickly on my feet, so my response to questions from the monkeys about the N is either complete silence or wait two seconds and ask “So how about those Mariners?” (local baseball team) They get the picture.

I recently found your channel....subscribed on the spot. You have helped me tremendously. God bless you!

Thank you so much for these very thoughtful videos, they have really helped. By the way, your remark in another video about unfairness being a major block to getting over this treatment was brilliant - just knowing that helps enormously.

This was very helpful! Thank you for your insights. I can see clearly the roles that family members play now and it affirms how I have been proceeding. Don't feed the monkeys or the beast! Doing so is a self-esteem wrecker. Thank you!

Brilliantly explained

My side of the story does not matter. I’m not explaining myself to anyone. But it’s good to know, they are no longer welcome to sit at my table.

Thank you so much.its helpful 🙂. They get rewarded by narcissist for gaining supply on their behalf. Boundaries are key 👌, protect your peace 1st.dealing with a lot of these currently.

Listing the ssential points is very helpful, thank you so much. I get to see my entire take away out of your video, in seconds! Helps the mind clouded by trauma...

I want to thank you so much for your insight, this has helped me tremendously beyond words. Will be putting this into effect right now.

This is very helpful, thank you!! Very clear so that a lay person, can comprehend and identify.

This is the simplest explanation of flying monkeys I've heard. Thank you. Love your accent 😅💜

You have nailed it Darren. Spot on! Thank you 🙏

It’s been ver6 helpful..Thankyou Darren

Thank you for very helpful information. I totally agree with your sensible advice and appreciate your wise approach.

Beautifully talked about in a very calm and concise manner... Thank you. 👍👍👏👏🙌🙌

This was perfect!! Thank you.

Your info is great. Thank you 😊💓

Great advice. Some 'flying monkeys' are being misled, are honest, and I pity them. I wish they could be saved, but they have chosen the side of the abuser against the abused. Unwittingly they are victim blaming. Their bad.

This was very helpful. 🙏🏻

Another great video as a substitution for therapy. Thank you

Good analysis and suggestions Thank you

Perfect advice. Thank you...

Great advices. To get to where one is prepared to keep constituted will usually be of greate use. How ever, many need help against dealing with situations where accusations of appearing too passively, or of being passive due to low empathy, is used to harm them by gradually tearing them down. One will under a long range of conditions not have the liberty to break out of such conditions where institutions appointed by government are involved. At least not without risking bad, or even the worst possible consequenses. This costs vast amounts of suffering within the societies it occures, as truth could be that when dealing with people on matters involving professional possitions and ranks this could even be involving what is practically determinational rights. Then claims may at worst even be seeming to be appearing as a result of an individual keeping well constituted psychologically, which as it appears from my angle may be all that someone needs to create an in fact unavoidable hell. Building oneself into a character enabled with defence against evil mindsets of narcissistic kinds is always a must, not the least on the path to be of good use as an indipendant and free person of a human being. In a reality containing possible or even probable misuse of coercive measures, though, it seems that due to the count of involved losses of just personal constitution, and no doubt also of suicides, developing advices for survival above the obviously missed wreck, or even above the not that impossible corps, where measures would be the very hardest to accept as true parts of reality, will actually at some point become a must on behalf of not that few. I might actually add "what ever one might think," but then again, as some few to my knowledge have said, "what would be the point," which indeed is a part of the equation the way I've got it in my mind. Advices of the kind sought to by Darren Magee are nevertheless of good use to everyone having to deal with simular measures to those he uses as examples, and I'd hate to be interpreted as in any way underestimating their value. Even while some would still miss advices where also physical means are involved, in particular where threats of such measures are used, bearing in mind that there may be no such thing at all as simply calling the police, or a lawyer, or anyone else, the kind of mindset adviced to by Magee will take a person longer then what otherwise might be the case, as having worked with preparation and with self confirmation while not being under forced influence tends more often then not to leave a way back, somehow, allthough there are examples of even this constituating only a partial truth. We only have the tools that we have, and those defending a tough reality are not few. Cruelty might still be a thing often seen as more or less commonly hated. Alas, even cruelty is by some loved as a part of plain schadenfreude, or otherwise involved with envy, or with a so low level of empathic abileties that profit makes it an option, and combinations are in no way what this conserns prohibited what reality concerns, what ever the law might otherwise suggest. We're often speaking of a sort of adhesion where matters involving hidden cruelty are likely to create tragedies, in particular where people considered to be of lower ranks are facing it, but there are also cases where people are thought to be "more durable in relation to serious measures", the way I happen to remember it expressed. "Lower ranks" by the way if I may, is by no measures to be read as "of lower value", even if one may not always imply "quite the opposite". It's been said to me by indeed experienced people what such measures involves that the last anyone should do is to presume misunderstandings not possibly to be part of many, if not most, among conflicts, but said on behalf of the involvements relevant here, presumed to involve at least narcissistic mindsets, if not even what is or borders to sisiopathy, my own hopes for that claim is practically shreaded, being myself somewhat shreaded or not.

Wonderful advice!

you're a gem! thank you

Thankyou. I can attest to this being the best way to stay sane in the face of the craziness. It helps to hear you say it to succinctly :)

Twenty mins after being released from jail and presented with an order of "protection," narc was texting me, and his friends driving up and down my street yelling out their window at me. I was outside doing yard work but if I hadn't I wonder if they'd probably try to break in, as he tried 3 times after. So I think those were flying monkeys?

Great advice....Ask them a question back....give them nothing....

Very true thank you for this advice much appreciated It

A Flying Monkey is also an evil narcissistic abuser that like to hunt the victim they also want to suffer and die.

Thank you so much! this was so helpful!

So helpful!!!

Thank you Sir, So very helpful, God bless you!

Excellent information!!

I thought Agents of Narcissist was a great name for a band but it doesn't roll of my tongue.

My God,have you met my mother?!! Actually,count your blessings you haven't and never will. Spot on

Really great insight. Thank you.

So helpful!!!!!! Ty!

Good video, brilliant!

This entire video is 100 percent true. OH MY GOODNESS.Emotional blackmail is out of control.

Great video!

Evil woman who wanted to destroy me stole my clothes shoes jewelry and career work too. Her skin went translucent and I saw the demon there. I was warned 3x in my mind in white letters CON, CON, CON. These people are so dangerous.

usually they just make up that you or someone is flustered or bothered even when they aren't, they believe their own lies its amazing, that they need it to be true so badly that all they have left is to buy their own bs and you can't talk them out of it and there's no point.

Very helpful indeed, and I do enjoy the informative tone of your videos. My younger golden child brother is a terribly naive flying monkey, some of the calls in the 2 years leading up to cutting contact were quite nasty and you could see him trying to navigate through following our covert narcissist mothers distortions and bidding, and trying not to come across as clueless when speaking to me. There were no winners in these conversations. But you could see he was becoming more and more entitled, and more preloaded with distortions when he'd call. In the end I cut contact by blocking them both, no explanations, nothing. I just blocked them and moved on with my life. You cannot defend this sort of abuse without distortions repeatedly coming back.

GREAT CONTENT! please consider getting a mic I would love to listen while I do things around the home, I have 2 dogs that make noise lol

I did exactly everything mentioned in this video. Wish it was uploaded much earlier

Another huge thing that's being done to me is accusations, something I'm supposed to do to stop the harassment, yet it's secret,only the community, buisnesses around know all these things, I'm a bad person, but everything is so secret no resolution, except to confess my whole life of course,it's just an excuse to keep control,people would not believe what's been done,it's just highly unlikely, which is how they get away with it,coercive control is what it is,using my support system, family,and work mobbing anytime I get a job,and people lots of people support this because the smear campaign, but they won't confront!Why does this make sense to people? It's very clear to me .

That's right...the narc 👿🤥 and flying monkey 🐵set up to blame, they set up to accuse, they set up to make me a problem, they set up to fleece, they set up to set the scene to neighbours, they set up to use me as a cover, they set up to use me as a scapegoat. Wow!! 😝🤔🥴😵‍💫☹️😢😭 Thank you for sharing and educating.

The trouble is narcissists often have unwitting stooges through whom they operate to control the wider circle. These unwitting acolytes are often 'paid' with praises, threatened and cajoled in equal measure - then unceremoniously dropped once they no longer fulfil their purpose. The narcissist may even attend their funeral and make out what great and valuable friends they have been - then move on to other targets ...

Been binge watching you videos. Really good stuff. Grew up with a sibling who I realise fits all the descriptions of a narcissist. Is there a way they can be healed if they goto confession since they never admit to anything they do wrong? Always playing innocent, justifying their behaviour and playing the victim and tearing ppl down in the process. Can you also do a video on the Gospel for today on Judas? Today it's from John 12:1-11 From a psychology point of view how would you classify Judas? I like that saying from Star Trek you dropped in the video on the altruistic narcissist: Bandits who twirl their hair are easy to spot but villains who clothe themselves in good deeds are well camouflaged. Traitors wait for the right season to flourish, to sow death in the name of virtue.

Thank you so so much. GOD bless you .

What wise advice.

Excellent!

Thank you very help full 🙏

Thank you.