This series needs to come back. Come back hard. With a vengeance.

The, "man banging on the door to stop the horrible music" bit was priceless. XD

"Kicked a bloke once, he didn't like it, so he stabbed me" Sums up 80% of the gameplay in Sleeping Dogs.

The sound effects make this game sound like KZfaq Poop: The Game

2:23 That's what Hell sounds like.

That Ninja Master applause sound is the ZX Spectrum beeper equivalent of going "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" to make an applause noise.

4:22 "This may be the only game music in history that seems to be constantly interrupted by a neighbor banging on the wall to try and get the music to stop." Or maybe it's just the first recorded use of Dubstep in history.

Oh my god I actually cackled when you said “we can use the power of cheating” and showed a picture of Milli Vanilli. Lmao

the ninja language apparently to this ninja: AIGHHYE RHOOUGCH. RHOOUGCH **nuclear explosion noise**

The amount of joy I feel when you cover terrible old video games is at max level and still somehow rising

2:24 Well, if anything describes the sound of the apocalypse, that will do it.

For a brief, wonderful instant I though Ashens had made a new Terrble Old Games... then the ugly, cruel reality hit me in the face without mercy.

The white noise as the "audience" sounds like something you'd hear as a screamer or during a horror movie based on a haunted glitchy video game

4:08 "That's the look of a very bored and tired man, somebody who is thoroughly sick of what he's doing, who is wishing he was anywhere else." Oh, so it's the look on my face at work every day.

* menu music plays* *SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM.*

Just had two revelations: 1. This needs an HD remake, with a bullet time mode. Can't be any worse than the last Double Dragon game. 2. If we had that many "Ninja" games today, we'd have trademark lawsuits all over the place. Those were the days...

Please bring this series back Ashens, pretty please.

7:03 "There are no words." - Yes there are! Mission completed!

That intro is amazing! I love the mini-ashens that dances around the screen xD

6:46 "using the power of cheating" and shows a picture of Milli Vanilli, I died 😂

The loading screen picture makes the ninja (oriental hero) look like he's crying for how bad the game is going to be and he has to be the one on screen for us to get mad at.

You should do more of these. These are actually what caught my attention to watch your channel in the first place.

"Weapon: Hepatitis" - WTF

The Ninja master crowd is scary.

I really like this series, almost as much as your main one, you're much better at showcasing bad old games than most other youtubers who've tried. You should make more every once in a while.

I am 41 years old and I still miss Crash. Fantastic magazine.

I love at 2:34 the one star rating, even by 1986 standards.

This whole terrible old games series of videos is one that I keep coming back to, they're just so entertaining. Shame Stuart won't pick up this format again ...

I love these TOGYPNHO videos. I wish he'd make more of them.

I remember these.. more of them please!

Mr Ashen, I truly have to say I have been a follower of all your great video releases on youtube. I was born 1980 so I can relate to most of the retro videos you release and I love the odd tat videos also, everytime I visit youtube I always see what you may have posted first. Fantastiche!

I enjoyed this so much, highly entertaining. 52%

Ah. A great episode, but I would so want to see Ashens make a new episode of this series.

6:41 : "WEAPON: HEPATITIS" ಠ_ಠ

2:23 audience cheering sound effects courtesy of Merzbow.

I really like these old game reviews, I find the history interesting. Keep up the good work!

Laughed so hard when I heard the crowd noise, haha so funny, sounds like a 8-bit death metal growl! Groovy.

The "neighbor banging on the wall" synth effect makes it sound like an Atari Teenage Riot song.

One hit deaths in a beat 'em up? That's bullshit!

I remember watching this episode a long time ago. One day I tried to find it again for the 'neighbour pounding on the wall' part, because I found it so funny. I could never find it again, so thank you for uploading it here.

Those old computer game sound effects are just classic. I once installed "Star Trek: 25th Anniversary" on my old Windows XP. The intro song sounded like those KZfaq videos where one or more printers are used to play a song - only so loud and obnoxious that I could swear the game was trying to either fry my PC or my brain.

I am so glad to see this series return to your channel. I have enjoyed past entries and hoped for more to come. Excellent indeed! Thank you.

4:27 So it seems this game inadvertently invented dubstep.

It wasn't a neighbor banging on the door, it was actually a premature attempt at dubstep.

That music was hilarious :) bang, bang, bang!

I wonder if the 'TRON Software' name would have been a trademark issue. 'TRON' is actually a BASIC command meaning 'TRace ON' - it caused the computer to print every line of BASIC to the screen as it executed it. It was a debugging feature. Both the software company and the movie are named after the command, so not infringing each other (?).

The crowd applause in Ninja Master sounds like Merzbow, which incidently is great stuff to play at full volume to wake up and quickly evacuate unwanted hungover stragglers from your house sleeping on your floor and couch from the previous nights festivities.

"...by using the power of cheating..." Very good.

Once again you had me laugh out loud with this terrible old game Stuart. :D Oh and 'A Fitting Punishment' should be how you end each episode. ;) Oh and the 'Dracula guy' looks a bit like Venger from the 80's Dungeons and Dragons cartoon for some reason. :D

These games seem really creepy, Imagine being awake at 2 am, playing Ninja Master for the first time. When you beat a level and the crowd "Applauses" i would personally shit a brick

Tapping as the Ninja walks...I thought you weren't supposed to hear Ninja. :P

It is interesting. Ninja Master is at least in part based on a very short lived tv series called The Master (released on VHS as The Ninja Master) starring Lee Van Cleef as an old Westerner who is a Ninja who has escaped his clan to try and find his daughter in AMerica whilst Ninja legend Sho Kosugi plays his old pupil now sworn to kill him for daring to leave the clan. I know it is inspired by the show in part as the theme from the tv show is heard on the intro screen of the Speccy version of the game. TV show was naff and lasted a mere 12 or so episodes before being canned but its an oddity all the same. Sadly neither game is particularly good.

For the sheer humor and terror of the thing... Ashens needs to buy out all the rights to this game, and release a version of his own. I'd buy it!

I like that those crazy ninja eyes came in at 4:20 in your video... He's definitely stoned, but I think the intent was to make him "oriental"...

the ending killed me with laughs

that super racist first blurb at 7:19

I love "Terrible Old Games"

WOULD YOU KEEP THE BLOODY NOISE DOWN? I'M TRYING TO SLEEP IN HERE!!!

Always something entertaining from Ashens! As always, thanks!

PLEASE keep doing these videos!! terrible old games is my fav series on ur channel

The opening title sequence and soundtrack to Terrible Old Games sounds like a Crystal Castles track.

Last night my little sister was taken to the IWK Emergency room, we entered at 10:20 pm And left at 2:33 today. When we got home I didn't bother to go to sleep, because I was watching Ashens.

Oriental hero theme music = still better than dubstep

Dauum, i was browsing ashen's channel and then this pops out of nowhere xD

make more of this!!!!

terrible old games is begining to be one of my favriote youtube series!:D

Oh shit. Just got back into retro gaming and bought a few 80's machines I remember from that era. Looked up my database and I do own this game .... Can't wait to play it :)

i lost it when you killed the final wizard boss in two hits after all that fruitless effort with the fucking cobra at the start lmfao

Wow..this makes Dark Souls look like cake.

3:50 no, but apparently, Ninja was. I heard somewhere Brits got Teenage Mutant HERO Turtles, hence Oriental Hero...

'An Excellent Punishment'

You deserve WAY more exposure. You're awesome.

I may have said it before but this is my favorite of all your intros

Oriental hero is a, poor man's kung fu master

The crowd applause from The Ninja Master sounds like something that Merzbow would produce.

I love the intro to this this series.

That title music has a pretty sick gabber beat ngl.

Oh i remember this game! I had the commodore 64 version though! Good times!

I love this series, great to see it getting more episodes!

I just realized your 8-bit intro music sounds so much like Cystal Castles, That is a very good thing indeed. Nice video for such a horrible game.

1:30 look how sad the sphinx is. I wonder what's troubling him.

Ashen throwing shade at Milli Vanilli 25 years later

These are great! Dr Ashens, please make more Terrible Old Games!

Sweet! More crap I've never heard of. Call me a loser or what have you, I love seeing this kinda of things. Here in the west we were mainly console people, So these older PC games are something we never really saw. Thanks Mr. Ashens! Love this stuff.

YAY! I was waiting for this when I saw Night Walk!

Oh god, the ending made me choke on laughter.

I've always found those thudding sound effects that are in the title screen music for this game to be somewhat impressive. I really don't know why.

I love these terrible old games I have never heard of.

This is by and far my favorite Ashens series.

anything ashens upload is worth my time.

The people need (and demands) more of these reviews!

IMHO that bassdrum has quite nice punch to it. It would go nicely in some gabber styled music.

Love your terrible old games series Keep doing it

OMG that crowd! Funniest thing in a long long time haha

4:35 Bwha hahahah! Oh man! That's line made my day!

I think the most fitting end for this video would have been The Silver Skull calling you and telling you to keep it down.

The 'applause' of the spectators wouldn't be out of place in a horror game.

Omg that crowd noise is like someone funneling spiked ball bearings into your ear

I lost it when he said " the worlds fastest paper aeroplane"!!

Ashennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns! Moar video now chop chop!