I agree I only work one job but I don't have kids if you teach yourself to live on a tight budget and live alone that works too if you live in a large city then you won't have to deal with anyone but yourself you can spoil yourself that way if you find a room that's clean but affordable and never have to have anyone in your business ever again..I know sometimes why people want what I have its because some of them have no clue how to obtain it themselves because there so caught up in there emotions and over shopping that they started neglecting all there bills and debt but if they worked a job and lived alone this can sometimes attract wealthy men too because you didn't exactly excel but your not so stupid that you would sleep outside just to save money or work three jobs. When do they have time to sleep even?

Well said

New subscriber. Love your content, style, vibe, bestie phrase.. so beautiful! The big resistance I’ve always had to bring my own dream girl, is all the toxic examples of entitled arrogant materialistic women throughout my life. So my associations with being this are all so so negative. It’s still a big block. I’d love if you could do a video on this issue. . That’s why I’m so happy to find the channel of an intelligent, sensitive beautiful girl, someone I can admire and connect to.. giving this advice. Thank you.

OMG that is so true!!!

or you will never feel appreciated by him! even if you know youre enough

True true true ❤

THAT PART!!!

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

EXACTLY

MAN PRINCESS 😂😂😂😂😂

Done

Man princess on the pea😊

He's saving up for his dream girl.

Speak a fact right here girl! I had a glow up over the summer and suddenly all the guys want to slid to my dms, like blockity block them😂. My glow ups are for me not for your attentions

🔥🔥🔥❗Truth spoken!

All women have beauty. Don’t buy into beta male lies.

They're not ready for this conversation 😂. Women get cut by lies, men get cut by the truth.

Ikkkkkr

Or: you better walk alone than with a fool😊

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

yall are eating with the quotes

I like that, short but loud

I ❤ that I’m going to memorise it

It was good you were honest so then he could be honest.

Yup, I said there is a communication problem, he goes on to not to do ONE THING to make it better. Boy, bye!

Well done for walking away ❤ You deserve the love you seek and I hope you find it not only in yourself, but in a loving man too. ❤

It’s preferable when they say it straight. It’s when they give you a riddle to solve with fake promises wasting your time and sanity.

Mine said the same thing! Then has a girlfriend the day AFTER we broke up from our 5 yr relationship

🙌💯🔥🔥🔥💯🎯

Exactly!!!!

It’s men who don’t believe they need to adapt and actually provide a good quality environment to their partner.

Word

This is not true. Nice guys finish last. It is the chads and tyrones who are married!

Omg what, that's WYLD!! Would he tell you mean things when you asked for money? He would never offer?!?!

What happened after?

@@deadinside8781 I quietly saved up and separated almost a year later for related reasons.

@@sparklyunicorn5431 He would never offer and he was one of those ‘nice guys’ who would passive aggressively help you and hold it over your head months or years down the road in an unrelated argument. He did call me gold digger twice for expecting him to get out of his low paying job because HE was pressuring me to have his kid. Like, little boy bye. No legacy for you. ✌🏼

@@deadinside8781 I separated shortly after.

woaw! please repost this message everywhere possible so that more women see it... I have also been lucky with generous providers in my happy relationships. The unhappy one was the ONE where he had nerve to say it costs him to come to visit me...and he started the relationship, loser. But your guy is a King, sis.

@@mpch6298 i mean yeah I wish more ppl knew what they could achieve but I don't think reposting will do it lol ppl may think it's spam. On top of that i believe in the evil eye so I want to keep most parts of my relationship private 😌

Wowowo that great ❤ This kind of men everyone deserves 💅😇

yess girl i love it for you, that is a true generous man! Myself I'm 20 and I struggle with the concept of a provider man and what should I require, cause I don't want to be unrealistic, especially as this concept is rather new to me... So thank you for setting the example for us!

Girrrlll if you don’t marry this man!!!!

Beautifully put ❤

💯

I got laid off recently and my ex still wanted me to pay 50/50. And low cost activities that I planned weren't enough. Made me feel like shit, but I realized, he was just an unappreciative asshole.

Yup

Friend zone. Yes! Thank you

Exactly- it says “I’m not going to break my back to make your life easy!”

​@@Lafemmefutileit's says you are Not Worthy of effort on My part. And goes downhill from there. No sir.

Not 70% - 30% split, more like 90% - 10% where the woman does most of the labor (emotional, physical, parental, administrative).

That’s right! He couldn’t stop spending money trying to make her happy!

Even his daughter is spoiled rotten, fyi.

SpongeBob thread #2!💀😂

IKRRRR

Also be careful if you live in a common law marriage place. Red flag if he starts calling himself your husband or of the blue.

@@TheActualRedYes, I agree ☝️ I went through this! It was a fake marriage!

Why? What are the legal liabilities?

@@sunfish4095 In regards to living in a place that allows common law marriage, it can be worse for victims of domestic v!0lence because their @buser uses common law marriage to trap them, even though it’s not a legal marriage, if that makes sense to you.

@@MillennialMountainMama Yes, it's very important to differentiate between someone who is actually confident, competent, protective, charismatic and has true leadership from an abusive, insecure, narcissistic and controlling person. They can easily be confused with one another and present the same on the surface. One is weak false masculine and the other is healthy authentic masculine.

Mind you she can refer to her "boyfriend" as a man though.

He has so much time to cheat on her He's also very likely spending money on other women

tbh it's just a word, and if we don't hear anything else about her values and thinking it's wrong to make presumptions

@@nalbinalbii888 nah nah she referred to women as Females yet males as men. If you're gonna degrade us to gender then go ahead and be uniform with it. If you use female you better use male as well. It's kinda strange that I've never heard "males" being a commonly used term anywhere despite them shoving their noses everywhere....speaks a lot🤷🏻‍♀️

@@itshazzybee yeah true

Me too ! At least I never fell into the same trap with a man and have no kids yet.

Same, raised to ask for nothing, doubt my own perspective, be no trouble...... and they judge me for being long term single. I'm lucky that'svhow things panned out

Yea i want to be alone :)

damn

That's not even possible in my case. We are having two weddings as we are an interracial relationship. One wedding in the UK and one in Nigeria. My fiance asked me to marry him twice once in front of a castle and once in front of my parents. He had to ask for permission first. My fiance loves me sooo much its crazy. I'm getting the dress, the fairytale Everything. This guy doesn't sound like a good guy. He basically just married her to shut her up.

​@@tessy28Nigerian here. Girl, I know what you mean.😊

My ex was this way. When I had no money in my bank account due to registration fees for my car, he wouldn't give me a single dime. My boyfriend now will always pay me back, with a little extra, if I buy him something he asked me to get for him. I work at a grocery store where only myself and my spouse can get the discount, so if he wants something, I have to buy it for him. But he will reimburse me, no questions asked except to confirm if the payment went through. Generous men will always win out.

That’s essentially what happened to me, my ex husband is a brokie rich boy

You will definitely have one like that. ❤

So I guess we just pay attention to how they face struggles and challenges that arise. If they make it your problem [to solve], b1tch & moan and would rather you struggle with it alone instead; because it’s beneath him. He’ll sap you of everything we’ve eagerly poured away to him. He neither has nor wants to offer anything in return. So I guess we’ve become ‘the helpers’ the knights in shining armour and they’re now the damsels-in-distress-with-daddy-issues, ‘the helped’. who we’re expected to save and protect; and want to reproduce with?! The glass has been shattered and my mind, blown!

I would like to know more about your time as an 18 year old fetus.

She didn't have him "well trained," he's not a dog. If you respect a man in a feminine way he will tend to repay that in a masculine way.

​@@bluegoose777 agreed.

This comment. Yes. When my mom was younger and was with my deadbeat "father" she was working for him, while he was drinking, smoking, bets (losing lots of money) after i grew up he started beating us, had lots of affairs even with my godmother (i know its disgusting). Now he s with someone else in another country, i visted him back in 2017 and i saw how much better he treats his new woman compared to my mom, she calls him out on his bs also, his money is hers, her money is hers. That was a wake up call.

Also i have lots of trauma and i dont want ever to get married or have children. It sounds like a nightmare to me personally

Amen to that about he's spending it on someone else! I literally had an ex who took his own damn sister on a shopping spree and spent like a grand on clothes for her to level up but never offered to take me on a shopping spree.

@@KL-un8sf what makes you think I’m giving the losers in the trenches the time of day haha

When a date goes bad I have sometimes just paid the whole tab myself, followed by immediate blocking. Just to show the cost of one plate of food is not anything to make a deal about, I don’t gaf. Plus I don’t like the attitude if they think in”owe them” something for literally the price of a plate, gross.

50/50 BS = Abuser

Girl this is literally like a verbal punch in the face 😮

Im the same but not with men, with friends... So many toxic friend stories however Im doing better lately as I cut off the toxic ones

We've all been here....SOOOOOOOO GLAD that the age of ♒️ is the age of INFORMATION EXPOSURE 🥰🥰🥰🥰 FREE ALL THE GIRLIES!! ❤

Me too, with both ”friends” and partners. So grateful to know better now

So accurate! Have to guard our precious, feminine energy and reserve it for those who are worthy of us and have been properly vetted

WE have a portal between our legs 🧘‍♀️ the Divine Feminine IS the Oracle to the Goddess 💜

His daughter Pearl was spoiled too and was never afraid to ask 🩷

I ❤that you used a SpongeBob reference here! You are so right though!

😂😂

And his daughter pearl

BRO I GOTTA SCREENSHOT THIS, THIS IS SO TRUE

💅🏽💅🏽

I need that on a t-shirt. 🥺 Future spoil girle merch?

​@yohanna3600 she's got it on merch. I bought the sweatshirt ❤

This is my life motto ❤

I 2nd the spoiled girlie merch 💕

For real! Another lesson too is to protect your womb if these men have not proven themselves

Oh yes! I have been there😢

Princess men will drain you dry. Don't give them any more than you already have. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. Don't go down on a sinking ship.

Yes exactly. I've always said this abt those who want SAHW/M's. If you expect the beauty standard, you are also expected to give her the allowance to maintain it. It offends so many of these types of men who simply want a maid to go 50/50 on the rent.

To make things worse he invests/spends on the woman he cheats with.

​@@Mary-tx2eb if man is not wealthy then he must give all income to wife and she gives him an allowance from it. My opinion.

Yes! Thank You! 👏👏

BESTIE WAKE UP

Oh, MANNNNNNN, my ex husband would oohle women in public and then tell me he just thought *I* would look good in that dress, etc. The week I met him, he asked me if I ever wanted to do something with my hair. He complained about the “potato sack” clothes I wore the whole time. But, babe… do you think there was EVER any money for me to go clothes shopping? Shoe shopping? Please. He desired a woman he couldn’t afford, and settled on me.

Gross 🤮

Yes 🙌

Yesss OMG! Girl I sleep somewhere around 7 hours per night and when I work from home, which is 3 days per week, I always take 1-1h30m naps. I do that on the weekends too. And it feels so good. I can’t imagine excluding naps. Sleep is one of the most important and impactful part for general wellbeing and health, outside and inside.

And those men will cheat on pickmeisha with a Miss Ogre so don't bother

@@namkia205 Miss Ogre?

Honestly it doesnt really matter, any man that treats women that are less attractive to him like crap is disgusting. Even if he treated me like his dreamgirl I would be appalled.

Okay

Can a dog be good too? 😂❤

Thank you for your message

Cats are awesome ✌️

Love that you were there to be a life line for her to get rid of that bum and extra stress. Me and my twin sister are like that for eachother.

A lot of ladies don't understand that making good decisions for yourself isn't always pleasant and you don't always have to be happy about a decision you make especially if it's for the right reasons. Make the decision, accept it, don't look back and move forward.

Honestly it’s just having self respect. There is no tutorial imo. In the moment it feels bad but it’s not going to get better. Feelings aren’t logical, they attach to what’s familiar. When ppl understand that it’s easier to take the move(s) you need to make.

There is a book "women have all the power, too bad they don't know it".

Definitely, I’m actively trying to shake off my desperate, people pleaser, nervous energy. Even tho I’m technically a triple threat. I have no idea how a confident woman carries herself and asserts herself in everyday situations. Like how does she respond when someone calls her beautiful? How does she elegantly decline seggs after the first date? How does she respond to sexist ‘banter’ from male colleagues. How does she harness her feminine energy when the cheque comes, to allow him to show her if he can step up or not. does she slowly reach for her purse. Or maybe show genuine surprise & confusion at the idea of 50/50 being brought up? How does she show she’s thankful when men do give her what she deserves? Like I’m getting it, but whenever I try to imagine how me, as a spoiled girlie would respond & conduct herself I can get over the ‘coming across as a heartless b1tch’ thing. Or should I just allow myself to get comfortable with that uncomfortable, possible consequence? Would love if Elle roll played a ‘spoiled girlies in the wild’ series, for us neurodivergents. Her tiltok reaction clips & examples help a lot.

Yes please ❤

❤❤

Omg that’s awful! I wish people would learn from these mistakes of others sooner and ourselves so we can live free and empowered! My husband jokes that men are good at only a few things and lifting heavy objects for women is one of them. He says “bzzz bzzz yes my queen!” 🐝 👑 and goes and lifts the heavy water bottles etc for me 😂

Me and my sister had the same exact experience with my mom! Its so messed up! Im really happy that I found Elle's videos, she's amazing at teaching women like us to value ourselves

My biggest fear :( I'm so sorry

Wow you literally described my exact situation right now.... Even down to the teaching 4 daughters (4 other useless boys) to be completely and utterly independent mean whilst the boys rest in their feminine energy and are encouraged to pursue what they like... to be useless in the house and not even do the BBMLE jobs such as taking the trash out or any heavy lifting. My father goes to his one job for a few hours then rests for the entire day whilst my mother scrambles around working multiple shifts per day (which she uses to pay 99% of Everything, no pennies left for her own self) and still taking care of the household and employing her "girls" to do the same as well... household duties, helping with rent/bills, providing mental and emotional support, assistance with paperwork/ emails/ car issues/ house repairs/ Literally any issue that arises in the house, tending to every tedious need (even the BBMLE things that my father should and could but would never do for her such as massages, gifts, dinners. Like what!!) SO Yeah basically my sisters and I are not only co- parents's to my mother and her 5 other dependants, but we are also co-husbands who fill in the void of her Severely BBMLE, manipulative, guilt-tripping, soft-hearted, easily triggered husband... Lovely.. I'm so grateful that I discovered people like Elle and Shera7, and also just like you I will not be making the same mistake as my mother. I'm a spoiled girlie who is now in full receiving mode ready to receive.

agree

Lol. I love that "receiving" and "feminine" are linked here XD As a girl myself, I never ever don't want to receive anything from any man just because I'm a girl. I want to work for and get everything myself. Or together with him, if he is a good person. And i don't feel any less feminine because of that. And girls that want "provider"... you are hurting yourself. Istg they are the ones that always end up miserable in life after some time

​@@palloravis395 honestly it depends on how to define provider, some men are narcs and after they manipulate you, insult you, etc they start giving money.. But in usual sense if a guy likes you then he will spoil you.

@@palloravis395 girl I described men that are feminine and always want to receive and those characteristics I don’t like in men. But if you like those characteristics in men go for it. Everyone can choose what they want in a partner 🙏🏻

@@user-uv9vw2ps1v It seems to me that in my previous comment I did not describe the kind of guy I like? The whole point of my statement was that girls should first of all focus on their own development, and not expect that they will always be saved by a prince on a white horse who will provide them with everything, because sooner or later they will end up miserable. I was also amused by the juxtaposition of the word "receiving" with something feminine

i got an even better job during that time and i have a feeling that my out-earning him also struck a nerve. i'd never worked with other men until then and the office space showed me what it was like to be around REAL men. they're quick to offer help, they dress well, and admire my abilities without feeling inferior. it was so refreshing and that definitely woke me up to how much better i can do. my attraction to my ex went downhill after that. i always initiated everything anyway. lost nothing, gained everything 😂

Better late than never ♥️♥️

Plus she is so stunning and he is just so.... whatever. idk her personality or life but we usually expect men dating women that pretty to openly adore their wives, he should feel like the luckiest man in the world. I have never cringed so hard at a relationship test before, I can only hope for her sake it is staged.

And make that an enthusiastic yes!! This was so sad for her. Jeez

Men INVEST in what they VALUE!

🥹 thank you for sharing

Red flag was a quote he made like you can have 3 affairs but after that it's cheating such a vile man

So happy for you. All love ❤🎀

13:49 you better say it 🗣️ ❤ This spoke to my inner being! Nothing less, I want what I want ❤

if you guys have no babies together and are not married - consider leaving.. For real.

They swear they hate strong independent women and Love feminine women until the bills come along

thank you🤎

I know right . I cringed so hard when she said that

It's not selfish to fulfill your needs. 😌

yes!! Maybe 2024 is inviting her to start anew - new job, new home (when she walks out on her crappy ass bf!) and new people around her, whether or not a new boo...

Sometimes the best self-care is to get a job that not only pays your bills it covers debt repayment and future savings a really really good job and doing whatever it takes to make sure you qualify for that that to me screams self-care the loudest

thank you!!

@@ncar2160 Yayyyy!!! ❤️

Everyone should be full of themselves in that they live a fulfilling life and this person says “entitled” but all we ask is for respect and dignity as human beings. My husband actually cleans around the house and has provided for our household - we invest my income for our future. That’s wise, not entitlement.

​@@ncar2160she's teaching women to stop being strong and independent. She's teaching women to become more feminine

@@schuylergeery-zink1923 True, as woman we should not have to ask for respect as a luxury item in relationships

Is it entitled to kill the cycle of poverty.? 🤔

@@StephanieWitmer-iq5pv Nah, not really. But I finally learn that I deserve respect and kindness which is something men do not give when you are a placeholder. So that is something that took me ages to learn and it really change my life for the better. I am alone but I am not begging for the below minimum.

Do shadow work - don't date until you get your self-esteem up, because predatory men sense insecurity and low self-worth like a shark senses blood in the water 💧

@@briskettacos Absolutely, stop dating two years ago after long relationship ended by text and him moved with his dream girl like the next week. They are married now. Good for her in a certain sense, she probably had that energy. These two years were full of me taking accountability and trying to at least be self aware of my pick me energy. I do not plan to date ever againand plan to go to therapy soon to overcome loss of motherhood (I do not plan solo parenting). Plus I spend time with my sis and other younger women and I do not shy away on telling them my mistakes and issues as a warning signs. My sis learned so much and her friend too, her friend now got a guy who tells her she is the dream girl.

Your self esteem and self belief sounds very low. You need to accept yourself for who you are first and understand that it's perfectly fine to want what you want in life. I wish you the best ❤🤞

@@tessy28 I still have some of my pick me energy, so best way to live for me is get rid of dating and romantic love and pursue self awareness and accountability. Even if I don't end with my personal dream, I will be healthy and not further traumatised. One day I will be okay.

thank u bestie 🥹

For me it's because she's able to recognize and verbalize the intersectionality of patriarchy, sexism, weaponized incompetence and the coloniser mindset of men, and how women can see it for what it is, and learn to take advantage of that f**ked up system anyway we can! I always KNEW/FELT deep down, there HAS to be a connection with all of THAT!!! But I didn't really know how to connect the dots myself! This knowledge journey has been just amazing ❤ And I just wish more women understood what she's talking about!!! Like while they're still girls in highschool!!!

So true, and more than just a dating coach. I'm married and have a great husband But still struggle with My self steem ( You know... Reasons) and Elle does help me with that

Same here

This point is so so true. Whenever I'm just out with my kids I'll throw on sweats or whatever comfy clothes and no one says anything to me. When I go out with my husband...I wear nice perfume, a little makeup, fix my hair, a bit more stylish outfit (nothing fancy tbh) and the looks that I not only get, but my husband gets are VERY TELLING. Most times we are out at least one man will make a comment to my husband (not to me) about his "beautiful family" and how he's a "lucky man."

best of luck to you, Ria! GO for what you want and stay true to yourself! 💛

@@AmericanDreamer Thank you so much 🙌🏼✨

oh man!!! That would be awesome!! Sadia is so popular these days, seemingly " exploded" out of nowhere! Yeah, she is very charismatic in the way she poses herself and speaks, almost hypnotic, but I m worried is there certain pandering to "Bros" that's going on or something else...

@@AmericanDreamer yes majority of her clients are males and all of what she says are not evidence based and speculative. Very harmful!

Like; in one interview she said; females cheat more than males; and she doesn’t understand why women demand financial compensation or support after divorce; and that if women leave the relationship; they should not expect any financial support!!! Men loved it and made her a relationship coach idol! 😅