It’s true! And in the few times I’ve heard “basic” used as an insult I just think …”okay…so I am like my bad ass female sisters 😌 thank you for the comparison” 😌

Preach Sis 👍👍

Except most of the time it's other women shaming us, not men 😅. I'm masc girl and have been bullied always only by other "feminine only" girls 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Hell even women and girls are shaming others for it, by attributing being basic to being a pick me. Just like they'll say being quirky is being a pick me.

Absolutely! 🙂

Preeeach!!!

That is a great example ! How could’ve I forgotten. Thank you 🙏

We have to be basic enough to not threaten mediocre men, but 'unique' enough to be worth their time. So glad I'm gay.

Institutionalized People Pleasing (IPP).

And I hate how ingrained that is in our brains. I'm a new mom and I'm now realizing that all of the stuff I studied during pregnancy wasn't special, it was just common sense that all new moms are applying these days, and I really have to fight the feeling of "I'm not as special as I thought"

Omg - this. Was wondering the other day why I had so many male friends in high school and early 20’s, and basically none now in my 30s. My friends are 95% other strong, successful amazing women now. THIS is why

@@winkA1 I think from my youth I have 3 male friends left total because they never EVER crossed a boundary with me. The rest proved how hollow the friendship was once I became more "attractive." Hilarious how they think I'll throw out a 10 year marriage because NOW I'm worthy of being a contender to them. Disgusting. However, I've rekindled countless friendships with the women I was afraid to get to know before.

@@winkA1 I had a lot of male friends, too, and one by one, they all tried to be more than a friend, no matter how gay or married I had thought they were. now, I don't believe in male friends. Colleagues, clients, family, and acquaintances - sure.

It is better to have male friends who secretly "love" you than female friends that secretly hate you. A woman's worst enemy is always another woman, believe me.

@@ml0270 neither are your friends. if a guy secretly always wants more, he's not your friend.

Do tell her next time. I am sure she would love it.

You can compliment her on her beauty, hopefully yall can become friends :)

We can communicate many things simply with our eyes. If she is giving you good eye contact when you interact, she probably already knows how you feel towards her. I can sense, if a woman likes me or is unsure or even hostile towards me by looking into her eyes

I have a favorite cashier at my local health food store, actually all the women working there are so kind, but she always gives me a friendly nod and a genuine smile when she sees me entering the store. I think that's her still keeping it professional, but adding a personal touch to the interaction. She doesn't do that to other customers, or at least I haven't seen it

Please do tell her 🤎

No they get a 'boys will be boys' instead

Right! And women are told that the most basic man deserves respect, a relationship with a beautiful loyal woman who gives him children, and a great life in general. I say "basic women" deserve even more. As women we can change our standards and support each other deserving the best.

@@astilachae713 yesss

@@BlackRaven000 exactly. Meanwhile, women are encouraged to shame each other🙄

​​@@reginageorgetownuni This 😭. I was always bullied by feminine girls because I was a tomboy and I assume it's bc they saw me as a "threat" even tho I'm lesbian lol. Those girls seemed like they are feminine solely for male gaze (cs it's seen as prettier) not realizing they're just perpetrating to patriarchy for shaming me. It always comes down to jealousy and validation to get men and it's sad. I don't even like men and they still somehow manage to make my life harder as a collateral damage lol.

Internalized Misogyny or: Open Misogyny or: Consumerist mindset or: Projection / Low Self-esteem Or a combination of the above ❤

Yep I'm materialistic too and couldn't give a fuck either. Love that shit, always will. Oh well.🤷🏿‍♀️

The whole first world is , men just love their toys more like cars, motorcycles , tools etc

I’ve been thinking about how to enjoy materialism in a healthy way, like I enjoy & deserve finer things & experiences in life but at the same time, I don’t want to fall into rat races & capitalism trap.

One of the best content of you 👏🏻

@@kimhuynh1225 Enjoying finer things in life means you prefer quality over quantity. Rat races and capitalism trap is all about quantity regardless of price and whether you need/used/appreciate it or not.

Ok, but I think you missed the point

@@polka.dot. the mistake I made was commenting before I watched the whole video 😂 i get it now, bestie 💜👍🏻

israel be like

I thought she was admitting to being shallow & superficial with an overall lack of depth or substance. Based on her recent videos as well as the outcome here, I was right. But that's what I am here for. Young women at the "peak of the mountain of stupid" who create cults is my fetish "car crash I can't look away..."

Yes I love that saying dance like no one is watching !

Yes! I danced at a performance in a theme park while others were just standing around. Loving it.

I agree.

Yes, exactly. Well put. 👏🏿

Truth. I haven't been basic a single day in my life and boy did they give me a hard time. From the first day of school to the present day, men and women, peers and bosses. Too loud, too extravagant, too confident, too wild,...if people want to criticise you, they'll find something.

​@@Claudia-vn3fb honestly this sounds similar to me. I grew up more a tomboy though nerf guns and water balloon fights.. I never gravitated towards makeup I've probably worn it less than 10 times in my life only for events. I hate the way it makes my skin feel and alway end up touching my face.. 😅 I was the girl that was like I'm not like other girls and had very few female friends but this was after some severe backstabbing... trying to make my best friend hate me, sleeping with my boyfriend by 2 different women one in highschool one in adulthood. Trying to get me kicked out of school... but my male friends were actually the ones helping me in all these situations. Now I don't place this on women but have grown to see it as a humanity thing... The only male betrayal was cheating but I would say the women were far worse in my case.

i love this take

Nobody's competing for males lol not even pickmes.

I mean, wanting a cup is harmless, I agree with you, but what some people were doing to get said cup was less so. There are videos of people storming targets and actually physically fighting each other to get at some of those displays.

I don’t have one…but they sound like a pretty good cup too! I don’t blame anyone for wanting one. I like good cups…who wants a bad cup?!

The worst part, in my opinion, was that some people really did have poignant, thoughtful, essays on the dangerous of social media consumerism. They got drowned out my the ones who basically wanted trash “basic b*tches” under the thin veil of “anti consumerism”. If your video is 20 min of laughing at tween girls happy at Christmas and a 2 min “shopping bad😢” outro, then your message was not in-fact about anti consumerism.

I agree with you - for me the reason it disconcerted me was that it defeated the purpose of purchasing a reusable cup in the first place. The whole point is to decrease the amount of waste with disposable water bottles right? But if that pollution is just going right back into creating cups that are gonna last even longer, and people have stacks of 20 or 30 of them in their cabinets, to me that’s also a form of waste because you’re still fueling polluting the environment with overconsumption. It’s not as bad as throwing away plastic water bottles, but it kinda still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Nah the Stanley cup thing is still crazy, it's pretty ridiculous, basic or not.

Ha ha.. I laugh so hard at how true this statement is. 😂

Exactly :(

So me wanting a pink thermal I can carry my coffee in is basic well we gotta start telling men to step up their Carhartt hats and boots. 😂 Something every gender does. Drink things. 😂

Hm yeah. Considering this, it seems like the best way to preserve my peace might be to contemplate each trend I want to hop on and decide if it actually resonates with me or if I just want to be "in". While also starting my own "trends" doing random shiz that I like even if I don't see anyone doing it. Then no matter which critique I'm getting, I know I'm secure in my decisions and need not defend any of them.

THIS. I'm a masc girl and my best friend is hyper feminine and BOTH of us get shamed for being "basic" etc. for literally anything we do and even when we like polar opposites lmao. It just shows you can't win as a woman 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Not with that attitude💅✨

The truely rich don't dress, people who come from stupid rich type money dress much more casual they don't flaunt their wealth that way . Most those of those influencers are. Faking it

The higher class has never wore clothing that could be sold on stores, less clothes with visible brands and logos. They have their own dressmakers, shoemakers, bagmakers, etc. The new rich who came from the lowest ranks of the working class were the ones who did it. But these are not higher class. They're just ex-poors who hate themselves trying desperatly to cling the social ladder and avoid being put together with the working class with lower incomes, so the higher classes would accept them. But it doesn't work.

What’s funny is every subculture has a version of the basic girl, it’s an inescapable accusation if we give into it.

I'm a masc girl and I got more often the "masculine girls aren't pretty" "You should try dress/this/that for men" Like... Why not for myself? And shaming because I'm "ugly" (from feminine women) rather than "ohh you're the not like other girls type" tbh. People, including women, just perpetrating to patriarchy without even realizing it lol. Pick me's are not just tomboys, in fact from my experience biggest pick me's were overly feminine girls who were feminine because* it's seen as more attractive and men like it more 🤷🏾‍♀️. Imo the healthiest, people are when there's a balance, like you can be both. Same with men.

It's damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Also i went through a different policing. While men were calling women ugly fat or basic i was mainly called crazy and weird

basic women have the capacity to also hold internalized misogyny, u dont have to be best pals with them but i think the overall messaging is that if ur basic and u feel uncomfortable with being basic its ok. ofc being basic doesnt mean being a dickhead to neurospicy people imo

The main message is to accept and be okay with the way you are. You don't have to force yourself to connect with other women when they obviously don't want to connect with you--it ain't fun when you are the only one trying. Sometimes it is absolutely fine to stop trying and go about your ways, while they about theirs.

I hear you girl. I don't know if I'm classified as neurodivergent but close enough. I've felt excluded by basic women and mixed gender groups of D&D nerds so I'm like I'm just an outcast's outcast at this point lol. And I'm old. I was just crying to my boyfriend about how maybe it's just time to focus on solitary hobbies. BUT I think there is hope for us all and just keep trying to find your people, or women who are kinda your people in some ways as general friends can be good too. Sending you good and hopeful vibes.

Same. I’ve had to “study” on KZfaq for years to try to get the memo and fit in. After watching Elle’s channel, I’m opting out. It’s exhausting. I’m unsubscribed from whatever is normal. Fuck it. it’s ok to be basic, and it’s ok to be unique. 🤍

I will also add that an older lady who is my client one day complained/boasted that she doesn’t wear makeup and doesn’t have engagement or wedding ring basically giving off “I’m not like other girls” vibes to me when I sitting there wearing makeup and a lovely Diamond ring I picked out myself and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I was like. Ooookay good for you? I’m happy you’re happy it just seems that it was passive aggressive or she wanted me to agree with her even though I don’t feel that way. You do you but I don’t go around boasting about my makeup or my ring. So I just didn’t really understand the point?

you studied national security law, international law when you took LLB? You seem to be a wholesome character with well balanced interest. Much love

My Bachelors was Global Studies and Religious Studies with a French minor and I was obsessed with France (and particularly their wine and cheese) and got to study abroad there 🥰 For my Juris Doctor that’s when I studied international law bc I wanted to be a diplomat. But I realized I needed to clean up my own backyard before we go making treaties with other countries. Peace begins in your own home and community. That led me to I love what Elle says about individuation and what I see in libertarian principles. I realized that international law was just natural law magnified up to the country level. Each person can be considered their own sovereign/queen/country and every negotiation we make with one another is a treaty, is like international trade in the microcosm. And violence toward one another is an act of war. I encourage every woman in particular to learn how to defend herself against any scale of threat because that’s how abusive (men) have attempted to subjugate us for a long time with brute strength. Then see how that is magnified up with culture and policies in society as a whole. The religious or spiritual side is important - I look to wise teachings from the Vedas, the Bible (Torah, New Testament, Gnostic texts), the Dao de Ching, the Buddha, poetry old and new, anything that resonates with my spirit for guidance. Listen to your intuition/spirit and you can’t go wrong. 💖 And f the people who want to pull you down like crabs in a bucket.

@@schuylergeery-zink1923 I love the part where you mentioned that we are our own authority, I wholeheartedly see that. You're amazing btw. Keep being you. 💎👑

YEAH

Amen! Validating and encouraging!

That's actually solid advice 😂

What are gatekeeper my people

Isn't there led in Stanley? So sometimes being a follower instead so good for you

@@om-nj2hw they use lead in the manufacturing process and it is sealed inside the cup. So unless you are intentionally smashing your cup to pieces and still using it you will not be exposed to led. Every other cup brand except hydro flask uses the same lead in the manufacturing process. It is ironic that you’re trying to put her down for using a Stanley cup when you are the one “following the masses” and not doing basic research to actually understand what you’re talking about.

Stanley leeches lead last I read be safe sis

Some guys neg women because they want you to be working overtime to keep them. They also feel insecure.

I'm sorry but i don't understand why you didn't gave him the coffee immediately after you bought it for him? Why did you wait till the next morning?

@@ilsedemolder3973 said she gave him coffe with ice. lol reread

This dude does not deserve your thoughtfulness. He could have politely said no thank you to the ice and enjoyed your time together. Wtf.

@@ilsedemolder3973 because he probably didn't want to drink coffee at night

And that's so fucked up because what does that even mean?! "You're boring" I do not exist to entertain you!!! My existence is not a performance!

Then why did he chose ypu in the first place? Was he so special? What was so special about his interests or talents?

Take the actions you can politically and financially and make powerful women centered friendships 🥰 focus that energy on what you can do and place your emotional state in women that love you

Ignoring and being unbothered isn't a passive decision. When you choose to step back and not give your energy to peyote who don't deserve it, you actively give the world a better you. Being sensitive to those harsh words isn't a weakness, btw. That's a sign your brain and body are working well. Let the trash rot while you choose yourself and your people.

As elle says do not bother about them they are just energy hungry vampires. Do not engage with them girl. They just want to suck up your joy. Give them "prayers and blessings" and bye bye.

It's really easy. I don't respect the opinions of people I don't love and respect. It literally does nothing to change my life. Its worth less than nothing to me.

Change what you believe about it. If you feel their comments are true of you, stop believing that. Believe they’re jealous of you instead… believe they really want to be a woman like you. Feel better instantly.

ugh same. People always want to say that people that strive to be different are arrogants or crazy. Just do your thing as long as you respect yourself and others around you.

Definitely feel the same. I think it’s more a fear of conformity, an innate desire to rebel and go against the consensus. I’ve always been a woman who fights against societal constraints. Doesn’t make me different than other women, or non-basic, bc there’s plenty of women who rebel. It’s interesting to think about this.

True, I have held onto myself and always been happy regardless of the shit people are trying to mess me up with. But there will be a lot of alone time involved. And pickmeishas can’t handle independence.

This point of view is valid to me since I haven’t often been described as basic-BUT I think her message is to be aware of how men* and others use the term “basic” as an insult with shame around it-specifically because of the misogynistic and classicist history to do with consumerism trends. I think this message further upholds a general message of ‘when we hate on other women…we’re probably more likely to hate ourselves’ and that is no accident under patriarchy. Just my thoughts, I could be wrong. 🙂

@@maryanne4594 This reminds me of when my ex told me, this was the dialogue: what do you want to drink, me replying: a green tea please, and he replied with ' typical woman'. like an insult to fulfilling a basic need. lol he is long gone now never to be seen again 😂

Woaw i never thought of it like that! also, I'm a biology student and with now a majority of students being women, biology is seen as the "easy science"

And our value goes down and we get more accessible

I'm hijabi too and I totally agree ❤

Omg. I'd start doing this from now on.

I used to use it as an insult when I was like 21-23 and then got over myself and realized omg we're all basic in some way or the other of course we'll have styles that can look the same/ similar to one another EVEN the alt/hippy girl stuff like seriously who cares at this point we can show up wearing the same skirt and both look amazing !! 🌻

I mean tbh I think its healthy and pretty natural for subcultures to criticize those who conform to norms of society from the music they like to even the way they dress, that's why its called "alt" short for alternative, but it sucks when all the criticisms is levelled at women. Men should be criticized In the same way for being bland and consumer driven, but often they're not!

Exactly. The world is full of so many choices, we only have to make our own

Valid

SAME! Perfect timing ❤

Excess stress causes a lot of autoimmune disease. One of the best ways you can improve your health is by chilling out over a lot of things that are not necessary to be upset over. Controlling your emotions at the right time is good for your physical health. These men be dying so fast because they get mad so quickly. Completely emotionally unstable. Also when a woman is with a bad man she gets sick very fast. That excess stress is literally killing her.

Oh my honey love. It really is as simple as deciding that you are worth it. Im praying that you will find your shine again. (Mom of 3 who hated herself so much I thought I didn't deserve anything positive) At my lowest point, my best friend sent me an Elle video that changed my life. God I fucking love women. ELLE'S vids have been SO healing. Long story short I let myself go into post partum psychosis because "I didn't deserve to sleep" because I was never done with domestic labor. Sounds super cheesy but my first step was to admit I need help...Then I used chatgpt to help me cultivate an intensive self care routine. Then I refused to feel bad about spending money on myself.

I stopped spending time with people who put me down and made me feel insecure and wrote a list of people that make me feel good and lift me up and started spending more time with them. Started focusing way more on self care like my life depended on it (because it did) even if no one understands what I was going through and couldn’t see why I needed to be selfish, their opinions had to no longer matter for a little while. Also the right people will encourage you to take care of yourself and the wrong people will put you down for it so taking care of yourself also helps you weed out who you should spend time around.

Also traveling helps me a lot! Makes me try new things which gives me momentum when I come back home. I justify it by thinking if life doesn’t feel worth living anymore then I might as well see and experience the world and deal with whatever problems I have at home when I get back with a fresh perspective.

Re-evaluate your relationships and set up boundaries or cut people out of your life entirely when it is one-sided. Also be critical of your follow lists on social media. No exes, situationships, fake friends or people who make you feel shitty about yourself. Also push yourself out of your comfort zone when you feel down, cause it'll make you feel like that bish. Honestly, I am shy, introverted and have social anxiety and am super selfaware in public. I still push myself, cause it boosts my confidence to rely on myself.

What I wish I knew- when you are feeling down on yourself- first if you don't know read about positive self talk. Second you have to take really good physical care of yourself. Take a shower, shave, wash your hair, get dressed and all the way ready. Put on your favorite music and clean up. Clean as hard and as much as you can. At first it is hard to get up but cleaning is extremely energizing. Clean your car, bath the dog, clean clean clean to clear your head. Listen to motivation videos. You tell yourself you are powerful and this is temporary because you are a bad b*tch. If you are really lost and don't know what to do for your next step- turn off all "noise" don't let anything in, nothing negative not even movies or book with murder or dead. Negativity is fuzzy and confusing and positivity is clear. Make yourself some very very small goals. Think what do I want for myself and what is one small step I can do right now. Don't try to be a person you used to want to be- be who you want to be right now.

Yes! That last part…brilliant 😌

How is gossiping good? Talking shit about others is not a good thing

I’m thinking she’s saying it’s okay to like what you like, even “basic.” 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sometimes we divide ourselves when we think of ourselves as super unique from other women, when we should celebrate our similarities to bring us closer.